[Ep 79] Burdens vs Loads: Discerning When to Help Someone

Several years ago, my family and I got to raise a tiny caterpillar. For weeks, we hunted down milkweed to feed it. We watched it grow. And we saw it create its little chrysalis.

We even got the blessing of watching it come out of the chrysalis, and caught most of it on video. It was such a beautiful moment.

While our little pet didn’t have any major trouble, we’ve all heard, I’m sure, that if you try to help a struggling butterfly out of its chrysalis, its wings will never be strong enough to fly. Well, there are times when that happens for us humans, too.

When we see someone who is struggling, our first instinct is often to jump in and help, but sometimes we do this to the other person’s detriment. It seems only a seasoned encourager knows when NOT to help. In other words, they know when to let the person do it for themselves.

While it appears heartless, selfish, or insensitive, it is really a deeper love than one might imagine.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” It’s followed by several examples. Perhaps the most relevant verses here are: “A time to embrace and a time to turn away… A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.”

These things are all good–in their own time.

So, when is it a time to help and when is it a time to refrain from helping?

Kari

RESOURCES + BIBLE VERSES:

• Ecclesiastes 3
• Galatians 6:1-5
• Jay Holland article/episode: Boulders, Backpacks, and Boundaries
• Book: Being There, by Dave Furman
• Episode 43: When Helping Hurts: Establishing Boundaries When Caring for Others with Counselor Nicole Fryling

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