Secrets of Special Forces

ended up being way beyond a show. Anyone who's watched Special Forces you know what it's about. Anybody who hasn't watched. Basically, we go into military selection for eight days. Up to eight days. You can tap out at any time. You can what's called VW voluntarily withdraw. You can't get eliminated, though, and so it's your choice. You can if it's medical and the doctor says you need to go, that can happen,

but it's it's your choice. It's your willpower, it's your mental strength, your physical strength that can get you through. And I I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't, and I had the most incredible eight days ever. And I'm lucky enough that my selection experience got to be documented for a TV show. It's so weird because you know, Special Forces is a TV show, but it is in my brain, not not a TV show. It is the It is the weirdest thing.

And so today, now that the whole show is out there, the whole show has aired, I wanted to do a podcast special where I just deep dive into every detail of Special Forces. Talk about stories, talk about memories, talk about the other recruits, talk about the ds, talk about the task, talk about what you saw, what you didn't see, what you saw versus what it was with some more context, talk about the behind the scenes of selection, every minor detail that I could say in these next few hours,

probably have a podcast. I just want to talk all about it. I want to read you my journal from Special Forces that I kept while I was there, and we'll get into literally everything. And to help me do that, I have a very very special guest here. I got my mom. Hey, Hi. I was okay to do this episode alone, truthfully, but then I was like, you know what,

it's gonna feel weird. I was like, I can only talk to myself for so long, and my mom and I have kind of wanted to just talk about Special Forces and we do a lot, but we always wanted to like sit down and read my journal together, and like she could just have a solo asked me questions without my dad and brother I interrupted, no dogs around, no friends around, like just you and me. And I thought, who better to do this full sit down with deep

diving into special Forces than my mom? Because you're also not going to be afraid to ask me the things that some people might not, you know what I mean. So I think having you here and getting to talk about this is just she's gonna it's gonna be.

you know, none of the stories need embellishing. They were all crazy and the stuff we did was crazy. Uh And so yeah, I think I just want to tell you, like dig on me, like like asking on you. Okay, likes you literally everything you can think of. Well, the truth is like, I'm not really gonna have another chance to like really tell all these stories like this is that one moment to really tell everything.

on the show and I was offended. I was like, why did they not ask me to do this? And I had been in the Fox Family, which is the network it's on, so I was like, why did they not ask me to do this show? Then I was actually grateful because where it was filmed in Jordan has some sketchy LGBTQ laws and so I wouldn't have been able to do it. But luckily where this season was going to be filmed was in New Zealand because INCREDIBLEOLOGYBTQ laws, and so I was very lucky that I was able

to say yes. And immediately I told you on said I was like, look at the email, and I just dropped into a push up and we were like ready to go. I was ready to go. And at this point it was March thirty first when the email came through, and the filming was going to be at the end

of June, mid June, end of June, top of July. Midgely, they didn't really know when, so all those dates were on hold and I actually had another project, two other projects that were in that time, and I was like, tell me how to move Like, I can't do it. I can talk about the project the world knows about. It was the Dance Mom's Reunion, right. Originally the Dance Moms Reunion was supposed to be filmed top of July, and I was like, well, tell them I can't be

there because I'm doing this. So we got the offer. I said yes, and you were mad at me. I was like, no, you're not doing that, Jojo. My mom did not want me to know a show at all. No. I was already running around, I said that day, telling everyone that I was doing it. I was like, what can I do? What can I come up with me? And I remember I pulled up the trailer and just started showing everyone and being like, this is what I'm about to do. This is what I'm about to do.

And a little side story I had done. I had gotten an offer for a project right before I got the Special Forces offer that I really wanted to do, but my team decided ultimately that it was not a

good opportunity. Well it was a good opportunity, but it clashed with something else too close, and so they made me say no to it, and I was pretty devastated, Like I didn't want to say no. You were super excited about that one too, Yeah, super excited about that one, and I was stoked about it, talked about the opportunity, but my team was like, Nope, nope, it's too it's too similar. And I was like ah, And then I got the Forces offer and I would have had to

say no to Forces. Would you have rather done the others versus the cast on that shirt had percent? Also side note forces lingo. When I say selection, that means filming essentially. When I say bergen, that means backpack heavy, heavy, heavy, backpack with a with a sandwagon and we'll get into that. When I say recruits, that means other cast. That's pretty much the lingo. Okay, dyes, DS is the leader D this is the directing staff. Where did you live? What's

that place called the accommodation? Accommodation. The accommodations is where we slept. The base is where our whole base. Uh. The parade square is like the little square in the middle of our base where we would go out to like listen to the ds and then they had their stage on the Paride Square. Then we had the mess which is where we ate, and then you know, the doctor's office. We had the dry room, which was basically

like a big sauna. If you think about it like that, you see the dry room a lot on the dry room a lot. That's where all the breakdowns happen. Your wet kit. You have a wet kit, a dry kit. So a wet kit is if you're wearing. Your kit is your clothing. So then if you get wet, that's considered wet kit. And then you have a dry kit in your bag at all times. We had two dry kits in our bergains at all times, bergen bag, backpack. Yeah, we'll get into all that, but that's that's some small

forces lingo. Anyways, I said, yes, you were mad at me, and then all of a sudden it was time to go to New Zealand. And I got to go to the New Zealand a few days actually before it was Easter Sunday. We have to talk about Eastern side. Yeah yah, yeah, yeah, So we didn't. We didn't actually talk for a minute, Like my mom was pretty pretty upset about me. Then all of a sudden easter rolled around and she made me an easter basket. She was really proud of this

easter basket. She was like, you're not even ready for it. You're not even ready for it. And I was like, you're talking to me again. Okay, sick, Well, we were talking. I was just annoyed because I didn't want you to do it. It was your own safety only talking if we had to. There was no like fun mom daughter chit chat anymore. It's like she was mad at me. But I was like, you know what, I'm gonna be twenty.

I wasn't twenty yet. I was still nineteen, and I was like, I can do anything I want when I'm twenty. I can say yes to this. Why because I'll be twenty. That was my mentality on it. You can say yes to anything. But normally we like agree on it, of course. Yeah, and this is like a first like disagreement, especially on a project like normally anyway, So it's Easter Sunday and she gives me this easter basket and it's all my favorites from air one and it has healthy food and

it's all this goodie stuff. It was a great basket, great basket and then it had a bracelet in it, and I pulled the bracelet out and it said keep going. And you want to say what you say? I keep going? So she said the bracelet says keep going, but it means don't quit. And you know, somebody asked me, They said, what's the best advice your mom here? And I hear advice give me. I never took it funny because I didn't up quitting. I quit with about eight hours remaining,

which we'll jump into. But yeah, then she was like, I've come to terms. This's just on Easter. She's like, I've come to terms with it. You're doing it, and now I just have to embrace it. And it was sensitive though, like anything you're like, this means you're okay, Like you're okay, and I'm like, yeah, like it's gonna be okay. But you weren't okay. I just you were fighting. Yeah, it still was a sense of subject like now we

would have mother daughter chit chat. But if I was like, hey, I'm going in the garage to break in my boots, you would be like annoyed. You'd be annoyed. Yeah, So speaking of then I got my boots in you know what I mean, so excited. I did not take those things off my feet, they said. I asked them of the Season one recruits. I was like, hey, any advice, and they were like, break in your boots, and so I did you know? Once I got my boots in

the mail, they asked me for my shoes. I set it in right away and I did not take those boots off. They came everywhere with me. They got worn. I worked out in them somehow, though I didn't break them in enough, like I mean crazy, And they actually sent me a few pairs. They sent me a pair that was my pair that I wore, was my first pair that I got, and they were they were too big. So I was like, hey, they're too big. Can you

send me a smaller size. They sent me a different brand, small size that was still too big, and I was like, all right, the other ones are more comfortable. They were faster to put on. I was like, I'm sticking with the originals, even though they're a little big. So my boots are actually a hair big on me. But I was like, you know what, I'd rather have a big than small. Yeah, did you ever know that I knew?

You said? They were big. Yeah, they were a little big, but I didn't mind because then I could get them off. I'd have wiggle room, like you don't want.

but like crooked. Now my one boot is criokeet. So what I did is when I got back to my hotel, I literally took my shoes off and put them in my suitcase. I unlaced them however they were, and I ripped them off and I just put them away and I was like, do not touch them, do not move the laces like I want to preserved. And yeah, we have them in a case now at the house. All right,

let's cut to now I'm going to New Zealand. You can't come with me because you have Look, you could have come with me, and for a point in time, you were going to come with me. And what happened was XOMG Proper Grow Group had some performances. And the thing is, my mom didn't want me to be in New Zealand a loon in case something happened I ended up out a hospital. She wanted somebody there with me,

which is so valid and I'm very grateful for that. Luckily, nothing happened, and I was fine, you know what I mean, But she didn't want me to go alone. And totally understand, but I was like, you have priorities with XOG. It's silly for you to come to New Zealand to sit in a hotel room. And also I never really told you this. You're going to be mad at me and you're going to get offended. We're going to get offended. Okay. I didn't want you to come to New Zealand because I knew.

It would have been so I mean, I would have been like a two year old. I would have been like supportive, a temper tantrum. But I would have known your support was fake. I knew your support was fank even when we were here. Imagine in New Zealand. I imagine imagine me waking up fake Okay, it's six in the morning in New Zealand. We're still on American time, so who knows what times on I'm on it's freezing cold and pitch black outside, and I'm like, I'm going

out for a run. That exactly. Yeah, okay, Because even when you called me and you're like I'm out running by myself, I'm like, is someone with you? But in my head, I'm like no, and I'm going to selection, like I gotta like, you know, I don't want you to get kidnapped. Well I did that anybody literally and you know what I mean, Like I know, you know

what I mean. Yeah, I guess it was like, of course, like I wanted you there, but I knew for the sake of what I was getting myself into, the best thing would have been for you to not be there to like probably.

I just wanted them to be close.

But anyways, so that's that's that. So finally in New Zealand, I remember when I said goodbye to you guys, and I was going to meet Rachel Nabbey at the airport. But saying goodbye here was very, very hard. We weren't going to see each other. It was only going to be gone in New Zealand for nineteen days, but we weren't going to see each other for like thirty days because of the way that the schedules worked out, and it was hard. It was hard to say goodbye. It

was hard because we knew where I was going. It wasn't like I was going on a tropical vacation with my girlfriend. It was like, yo, I'm going to Like at the time, we were like, yeah, it's gonna like suck a little bit and be hard, but like I'll be fine, Like I didn't know actually how hard it was going to be, and so I didn't know that I went to Vegas when you left? Did you really just to distract yourself? Just really good night? Honestly? Yeah? Smart, like

I just got to get out of here. It's like, yeah, I don't blame you. And then yeah, I flew to New Zealand And, which is far is very far. We were in the southern Island New Zealand. We were in Queenstown. We didn't fly into New Zealand though, we flew into somewhere and then took a flight to Queenstown. What's crazy too is our cover story. I was able to memorize it because when I saw it it was the same flight that I took. It was lax to Auckland, Auckland to Queenstown flight n Z eight one to one or

whatever it was. I don't remember it exact, but at the time I was like, that was my same exact flight I was on. I can memorize that super easy. Is that crazy? Yeah? I thought was helpful me. Rachel and Abby had a lot of fun together. We when we flew to New Zealand. It was just fun, like we we all ended up in one airplane seat at one point in time, like it just was fun. And then we we Kelly Rizza was on our flight. Okay,

so Rachel was texting. I was like, Yo, someone by your show was sitting by me, and I said, who isn't Kelly Rizzo? It's like Google and I saw who Kelly Rizzo was, and so then I texted, and you know, we kind of figured out like one person. And then Kelly was like she knew another person that was doing the show. Was like, I think she told me about Jack. She knew Jack was cool. Yeah, so and I knew Kelly and Jack were doing it right, So that was kind of like the first people that I figured out

was doing the show. And then she knew about a basketball player but she didn't know who. And then she was like in a couple of other people like that, like no one knew but yes, did you never know on reality TV? Yeah? I know. Anyways, we get to New Zealand and it was great. We got to the hotel. Our hotel was beautiful, it was called the Millbrook. We were going to stay there. I was going to be there for like eleven days, kind of get acclimated to the climate, you know, get it so early. I went

to early. When I got there, Tyler had like just found out that he was going to do this show. Yeah, crazy, right, yeah, it's crazy. Once we figured that out, we were like, well he found out like three days befo where I got there. That's crazy. That wow. Yeah, And they kept pushing filming back. So originally it was top of June, then it was mid June, then it was end of June, then it was top of July. Then it was kept

getting pushed back. Ended up being though we got to the Millbrook, I was gonna have like eleven day and queen Town, Queenstown, gonna have the time of my life. And U went out Day one, went to I Fly had got back to the hotel and the crew was like, hey, the welfare team. They were like, hey, Paparazzi knows you're here. You can't leave the resort, and I was like, sick. Great.

So we were on this like golf course was beautiful, and I was like, all right, well, I guess I'm just gonna occupy my time training and getting used to the weather and figuring out who else is doing this show. Like that's I knew everyone's gonna be staying there, and so I spent the rest of the ten days, you know, running around in a T shirt and shorts, and mind you, it was freezing. My my friends were wearing like snow clothing.

Oh okay, yeah, and it was like freezing and I'm running around in like biker shorts and a T shirt or a sport and I was like, I'm just trying to get used to the weather. It's literally that called for me did not get used to the weather. It's fine running hills, thinking that I'm training and taking like selfies on top of the mountain. Yeah. Having the time of my life at the Millburg Resort, going to a little coffee shop, eating healthy, taking electro lights, carving up,

doing some burpie is like thought I was training. I was doing nothing when I went back at it. But it was fun, you know. Yeah. Queenstown, New Zealand, it doesn't get light out until about like ten am, and then it got dark at about four pm, so it was very little daylight. So I would wake up to go for a morning run at eight and be pitch black. And then if I was like, oh, I'm gonna go to a night workout at seven pitch black. That's great. It was awesome. Yeah, it was fun though. I just

I mean, I was living my best life. I was chilling, and then came time. I never told you about this, so I brought my like cute little outfit to wear for when we got like when we're gonna go. I brought this like really cute off and I was stoked about sending my photos and they're like, oh, that's not warm enough. And I was like, well, I'll be fine and it's not warm enough and I was like, but it's cute. They're like, it's very cute, but it's not

warm enough. I was like, I swear, I'll we find I've been running in shorts and a T shirt, like I promised, don't worry about me, and they like jojo, our health and safety team is not approving this outfit. And I was like, okay, we'll go shopping. So then I got app able to go. I ended up going shopping. I was like, look, this isn't gonna work. I just got to go. So I ended up we were trying to send someone for shopping and I was like, nah,

I just got to go. So I went out, went shopping and got some cute outfits, brought them all back to the room, found, picked and choosed. No, I'm sorry, I'm lying that that was before when I went shopping for Abby to get her an outfit, because I went shopping for bras and underwear. No no, no, no, no no no. This is so when I needed that clothes is when I couldn't leave the resort. Yeah, yet reached an abbey. It was when they facetied me and they sent me

photos and I was like, just get it all. We bought like four thousand dollars like a like a kind of like a like Dick Sporting good stuff store. Okay, there was a lot of there cold there, so there's a lot of a lot of options, and I mean we spent like four grand on like snow clothes. And after they were like, we're going skiing, and I was like, just take this clothes, like oh that's cool. Yeah. I was like I don't care, take what you want. And they were like we'll return the rest and I was

like no, literally, you're babysitting me. Like take whatever you want, just stay close to the resort. Yeah. So then I ended up having a better outfit send it in everyone like did it was great? The little Kaki jacket, little Kakki outfit. And I was like, I'm still making it fashion on top, but I swear I have thermals on under.

And they were like, okay, that's fine. So then I did my Master interview and that day, and that's your one with your Sequence shirt and your pinking a Sequence shirt and the picker bones so that yeah, the piggyons. So that happens before you go to selection. Okay, so you're there and you do the Master and you don't really know what you're talking about, right, But now on the way to my Master interview, my driver he was like he said something actually that really stuck with me

throughout the whole thing, and I'll get into that. He we I asked him. I was like, so, like have you seen him set up or like do you know what's going on? Like do you know what anything? And he was like, oh, get ready And I was like what do you mean? And he was like, I can't talk about it, but like get ready. And I was like, have they been like doing water stuff and he was like, oh yeah, he's like we've watched them, not even like

the crew. He was like, citizens in Queenstown have been watching them rehearse all of your guys stuff that you're doing for the last few weeks. It's like no way. He's like yeah. And I was like is there water and he was like, yeah, lots of water. And I was like, okay, just tell me this. What kind of wildlife is there? And he was like, we have no wildlife that can hurt you here. And I was like, I was like, even in the water, because my biggest fear at the time was sharks, and he was like

even in the water. He was like, there's no wildlife in Queenstown that can harm a human. And I was like, thank god, that's amazing. So that gave me a really big sense of relief. But was he like get ready? Like he was like it's gonna be nice. Yeah, he was like get ready. And then as did scare you? Yes, yeah, did your like heart fall? I was just like, okay, here we get I mean like I watched his lawn, but like I was like, I don't know what to expect.

And then as we were we're still driving the master interview and he goes he goes right over in this area is where your guys's bases, and so me being me, I'm like, ooh, Apple Maps, and so I went on Apple Maps and I saw like the direction that he pointed was where a place called Milk Lake, and so I sent that to you, being like, this is where we're gonna be. And I didn't see it before, but I knew that's where it was because that's what he said.

And so then I was able to like kind of google it, kind of like see it, and it was I mean, it was it was beautiful. It's awful, but beautiful. Anyways, Uh, so I go to my master interview. You don't really know what to expect. You was freezing while I was doing the master interview. Really yeah, freezing because they could have have like heater on because it was loud. And

the master interview lasts probably three hours just talking. They're asking you everything because they have to, you know, accommodate for every challenge, right and accommodate for whatever your story might be there. I don't really know. And so you know, they're asking you about everything. They're asking you about stories about family, about how do you feel about water, how do you feel about helicopters? How do you feel about jumping off a boat, how do you feel about going backwards?

How do you feel about the dark, how do you feel about sharing a room? Like everything they can think of? And uh yeah, your Master interview gets deep. Were you like, was your mind racing? Like because you knew it was they were doing. I more so was like, Okay, they didn't ask me about tear gas, and so I knew we weren't going to get anything with tear gas. They didn't ask me about fire, and so I knew we weren't going to do anything with fire. Did Season one

have tear gas and fire? Yes? Okay? And we found out in New Zealand it's actually illegal amaze anything with tear gas. Yes, we love New Zealand. But then I knew like, okay, submerged in water okay, cold water okay,

driving like the things they asked me about. And so then while we were there, you know, we kind of were like, okay, well, in my Master I was asked this, well you asked none of us were asked about fire, Kay, there's nothing with and none of us were asked about gas or stuffing with gas, you know what I mean. So like we kind of all chit chatted about what we were talking about, and you could figure it out,

but not everything, like it's so unpredictable. Uh So I did my master interview and like two days later selection and the whole time you're there, we have this incredible welfare team. My two main welfare people's names were Jay and Kate, and they were so amazing. They were great while we were at the hotel, and then when we go just section you never see them. Wow. Found out

after the fact though. They are watching us around the clock to make sure that we are like okay, you're not okay, but they're making sure that you're like not okay, but okay. Yeah, and so yeah, because I when I when I left, Kate was one of the first people that I saw, and I mean you would have thought that I saw like you did you just hung her, yeah, like literally just like crashed into her arms and she was like, you did so good, you did so good, love it, you did so good. How old is she?

She's maybe a little bit older than me, a little younger than Rachel, Okay, like I would say twenties, twenties. Yep. She was so nice and I just remember seeing her and I actually saw her one day outside of base, you rarely saw crew rarely. One day I saw her and I just like looked at her. I was like, I just want to hug right now. And I told her that when I saw her again, because you couldn't speak to him even if you saw him, and I was like, I just wanted to come and hug you.

And she was like, you have no idea, I just wanted to hug you. Yeah. So anyways, they were great though. I was at the hotel so accommodating, so nice, so helpful. Uh, and then yeah, I woke up and I asked her before I went to sleep. I was like, do you know what my call time is? And she was like, we're picking everyone up between six and nine. Be ready at six. And I was like, okay, it's me. I'm going.

I'm oh, I'm you somehow knew you were gonna. I literally said, I'm gonna be one of the first people to get pulled. I just know it. And I was sure enough. I was. Actually I think I was the second person to get pulled. I think Brian was the first person. Brian Austin Green and Oh. I forgot a story when we were when we were training in the apartment a hotel, we couldn't use the actual gym, and so the special Forces team made like a makeshift gym

in a hotel room. And by a makeshift gym, it was not a chim It had a treadmill and elliptical, a rowing machine that didn't work, and a bike, and then it had one forty pound dumbell, one twenty pound dumbbell in two ten pounds. It was not a gym. And I was like, Okay, we're gonna make it work. This is fine, this is fine. Anyways, while we were in there, one day I found a sheet that had a map of the hotel, a dot on every room and then the room number with everyone's initials by it.

And so for the ten days that I was there, I was like, oh, I'm making this my mission to figure out everyone who's here. Figured out Savanna Chrisly figured out, Brian Austin Green, I figured out. I didn't figure out Robert Horry, didn't figure out Dez. I ended up seeing Nick Viele in a coffee shop at the hotel, and Rachel Abby recognized him, and I was like, okay, cool, Like who knew that that was gonna become my early,

didn't know about Tyler. I actually saw Aaron with my own two eyes, but didn't know she didn't know who she was. Then we figured it out, googled Olympic, Olympic people with initials E J, and then I saw her picture and then yeah, Aaron Jackson. She's a skater. So I kind of spent my time figuring out who some of the recruits are. Uh yeah. So then for day one we go to selection. Do you want to tell

them Brian Houston Green story how you surprised him? Oh? Yeah, so I So, Brian and I were we were really good friends from Dancing with the Stars and so when it was time to shine and I saw that he was he was there, I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna go to his room and just surprise him,

just go knock on his door. So I called called Sharna actually because I didn't know for sure if it was him, but like, who else has the initials B A G. And so I called his girlfriend Sharna and I was like, Hey, where's Brian And she was like, oh baby, he's in New Zealand about to film show. What's up? And I was like, oh my god, I'm here too. She was like, no way, he's gotta lose his mind. And I was like, yes he is. I was like, is he here here? And she was like no,

he's flying in today. And I was like, all right, text meeting leans, don't say anything, but I'm gonna go to his room and surprise him. So then I go to his room and I surprise him. And you weren't supposed to know any when I was there, and you were supposed to each other. So then he was like shut up. And so then I went to his room.

We hung out for a little bit and then all of a sudden, production comes knocking on us, and I was like, oh my god, So went I just go run and hide in his bathroom and I'm just like productions having like a ten minute meeting with him. Productionally he's I come back out, they come back. I go hide the bathroom again. That was fun. And then another time I snuck into Savannah Christly's room, uh huh, found

out she was there. We started messaging on Instagram and she was like, dude, can you come help me with my hair for my master interview? And I was like of course, So I went up to her room helped her with her hair. I ended up leaving my comb in and she was like, oh, the welfare team's coming in five minutes. Leave, so I left. Then I ended up leaving my cold in her room and I was like, hey, dude, I need my colle and she's like okay, and I was like, I'm gonna go for a jog. Drop it

off your balcony in like three minutes. So then I go for a jog and like jogging and circles around her balcony that she comes out. I just catch it and just keep running like that's hilarious. I didn't know that that was that was funny. What she did help with her hair with like what she wanted me to braid it, but then I didn't end up breaking it. I was like, girl, looks good. Let's just leave it because I was thinking of her interview. I was like,

what did you do? Yeah, no, she wanted braids, but then she was like, actually gonna like to wait it ended up and I was like, no, girl, you look great. We're like yeah. So then they we all got picked up early in the morning and we drove to base, which was not to Base. I'm sorry, we drove somewhere we never knew where we drove. We drove to the top of a mountain, uh, and we waited for hours. So when they picked you up, you were just like

a regular person, though you weren't blindfolded her. We just picked up in a production car, like went up, drove maybe an hour away, and then we got miked. It was first time you got your waist pack and your necklace mike, and you put it on and then you sat in the car. I fell asleep in the car waited for everyone to get miked. At some point, Kelly

was like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And they're like, all right, just go right down there, and we're like she was like okay, So then she goes right down there and squats. And I was like, well, I don't got to go, but like I'm here for the adventure. And I went to the bathroom and it was the first time I had ever squatted. I've never squat indeed, I mean I'm like a professional at it now, like I've done it. I mean like you have to control it would be on my leg or something. You have

to like really like dial it. And I used to tell all the boys all the time because you know, we'd go this is so wrong. We're like we'd go piss together, and like I would be like squatting, and like Tyler and Jack would be right there. I'd like, you guys don't know how lucky you have it, the fact that you can be so easily and I have to like balance and squat and aim. Like, well, y'all are like and yeah, no wiping, you just like put your pants back up and cold it a day. Yeah

that's so weird. Yeah, So we got miked whatever. Then they were like, all right, we're going to go into these like big They took us in like two vans, right, two vans. Figuring out the stating arrangements on this van was impossible. They had half of us in the wrong van and we had to come back and switch it up. I ended up being in a van with Brian Black. China was in my van. I believe Body was in my van. I believe Samana Christie was in my van. I don't think Tyler was in my van. I don't

think Nick was in my van. And we were just split fifty fifty. Yeah, and you're in these again just like normal humans. And now we are in these vans like normal humans. We don't know where we're going, we don't know how long we're driving for. Oh, Dez Bryant was in my van. It was super nice in my van, and we're all just having the time of our life. Yeah, I mean it is a celebrities in a van literally chit chatting up a store and having fun, like a

bunch of celebrities that never met each other. Like, are you nervous and you're gonna finish? Like yeah, anyways, Uh, then literally out of nowhere, I'm talking though, like maybe two hours in like, oh you're driving for that long? For so long? Out of nowhere, boom bang gun bow bow fire, explosion. All of a sudden, door slams open. Get down, head down, down, move all of a sudden, like what the oh my god? Like you like didn't you didn't want to like blink? Yeah? And then one

by one were the drivers in on it? Yeah? Of course the drivers are the people that opened the door, were the ds? Yeah? So the drivers the production yeah yeah, and so so anyways, the DS slam the door open. Then all of a sudden, one by one, you just feel a hand grab you and pull you out of the van and you just hear it. You hear them like clapping on people's hoods. You hear people struggling to

get out. You hear Tara reeb oh my head. He hears a man of Chrisly being like, oh, like you just like you just hear noises and you're just like waiting for your turn. Anyways, noise back corner of the bus and in the back corners. I'm like, they're pulling me last. I already know how this goes, and so at this point I'm like still in like ooh, we're making a TV show, right, Like I'm not in this

as like real life mode yet. Anyway, so they come and he grabs me and dis billy as who came and grabbed me, and you know, it's a pretty like it's a pretty stone grab like they're not like gentle with it. He grabs my like hood of my jacket and he pulls me out and he's like step down and your they have your head tucked down, so you

step out of the car. Then he like rips my head up right, so I lift my head, lift my head up and like I just see cameras staring at me, and I was like kind of smiling because like I don't know here we go well, like no, I was smiling because like I just got pulled by the hair kind of hot, like I'm so gay, which is why I can like talk about it like this, like not actually attracted to any of the ds, but like pull me by my hair, like no, wonder I call you

Daddy Foxy. Like anyways, that was Daddy Billy that did that. So I was like kind of giggly. And then I get out of the van and I like pulled it together really fast, and he puts up a hood over your head. You get the hood over your head. This is like the black sack. And they take us and they you can't see nothing. You can't see nothing, uh, And then they put us in a in a line on our knees and you're kneeling with your hands on the person in front of you's back for maybe like

twenty minutes. Then all of a sudden, they just they say stand up, stand up, but they kind of yank you up, and then they're like walk and you just walk. And we don't know where we were walking. We don't know if we were on the edge of a cliff. We still don't go to the stake. We don't really air that. We walked for probbly twenty minutes. We don't

know where, we don't know what. It was pitch black, and you're just like following the leader walking and then eventually they shove us back in the car, still with the hoods overheads. We drive a little bit further. They take us off, they line us up, they make us stand again. They we walk some more in a line. They you put your hands like you're like praying, and then they carry you by your thumbs and that's how

they guide you. And then das will hold on to your thumbs and then they like guide you and they just say walk is It's just weird not being able to so strange, so strange being like, here's this stranger. I'm on the edge of a mountain, like I know we were driving, but like, huh, so strange. Yeah.

you ever do, Like you just hear him talking. Then you hear God. I don't remember who they did, do. I think it was Savannah Risley and they took her hood off and they were like, who are you? And she's like, my name is Savannah and they were like, what do you do? She's like, I'm gonna really, I don't care, and then you know, he ripped Billy, ripped my hood off. Dyes, but Billy I eventually got picked and he ripped my hood off. Who are you? My name is Jojo, and he's like, what do you do?

I was like, I don't even remember what I said. And he was like, now you're a number, Jojo? How does that feel? And I was like, kinky, But I didn't say that That's what I thought and he was like, he was like, I don't like you. And I was like, oh, and they actually aired that and I have that written down in my journal and I was like, Wow, that's my new mission to make this man like me. He really said he doesn't like Yeah, but I was like, Oh,

you're gonna like me. I was like, you don't know it yet, because look going into it, I know what I look like. I know I look like I'm a twenty year old influencer prick. I know I look like I'm a ball of energy that never shuts up and doesn't have a serious bone in her body. I know that's what I give off. But when you meet my core, I'm so far from that and so a piece of me. It was like, you don't even know you think you know me. I don't even know you're gonna love me.

Just start on Instagram person like yeah, And in my head, I'm like, you want a hard worker. You want someone who's gonna take this shit seriously. You want someone who's gonna care, who's gonna fight for the team. You ain't gonna get anyone better than me. Like, if you want someone who works hard, I'm a girl. If you want someone who's not like that's yeh. But but I know that I don't look like that. I know I don't give off that vibe. But I know that's my brain.

And so I was like, you know what, like just just you're gonna like me. So you were thinking I don't like you either. Oh no, I was like, oh no, I have a mission. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you know, they take us, They take us all off. They tell us to turn around and we see the trenasium, which was our first challenge, and I saw that and I was like, okay, here we go, all right, and you just see a man do it. We didn't know who the man was at the time. It was DSQ,

but we didn't know who he was. And you just see him doing it and you're like, ah, that was pretty easy. They're on a rope, they fall ropes, gotch you cool. So we turn back around and they chuck you your kit, chuck it in trash bags, and then they're like, and go but your kid on as fast as you catch your kids clothing. Yeah, okay, so you

just have your clothing. No berg and yet. And so they give us our clothing and we put it all on and all this when you were changing every single time during Special Forces, anything and everything that could go wrong went wrong. Shoes, nodded, pants, buttoned, unbuttoned, wrong, buttoned, shirt inside out and backwards, arm inside out, pant lake inside out backwards, every single armband missing, and you'd have to take your whole thing off. I mean, everything that

could go wrong went wrong. And we did a fitting for a kit before, so you knew everything was gonna fit. But some people actually had like mismatch, like Tyler and I think Tom's got swapped. Oh wow, uh huh, and so like they just like made it work. But like Tyler and Tom are very different sizes, you know what I mean. But they made it work and it was fine anyways. So yeah, you put your kid on and we had so we had socks and shoes, and then we had long johns which are like long thumbal pants.

Then our our our battle dress, so that's the green pants essentially. Then we had our long jawn shirt which is the gray shirt. Then we had a fleece, a puffer, a jacket, and then our armband and then our beanie and our gloves. We were we had a lot of layers, so everyone puts everything on it. We all look like shit. It's so mismatch. If you watch a difference in everyone's choreography and their outfits from episode one to episode three

when I became wardrobe police, it is actually insane. Like episode three, four, five, six, seven, and eight, no one's out of place in her outfit. That's because of me, and all the boys will attest to that, and the girls. Everyone will attested that. Anyways, So we all put our clothes on and it's like just strip. Like I literally

look over and I see Brian in his boxers. I was like, what the And like Brian was the only one that I knew at this point, so I was like, why am I seeing him in his bo Okay, Kelly's in her underwear, Like this is just so frange cool, great, And then I just step out there and then you know, it was just helping you. But like everyone's helping each other, like just get each other dressed, like make it happen. Then freezing, freezing, but you're the cold is the last

thing you're thinking about at this point. So that is trenasium time, and they call Kelly to go first, and we're like, all right, I go get him Kelly, And I mean if I would have had it gone first, I would have been shitting bricks. So you just see Kelly and she goes and she failed. She but fell and I saw her hit her leg and I was like, oh, that looks like it hurt, right, That's why my mom didn't want me to do Yeah, And then someone else went second. I don't remember who went second, or maybe

maybe Brian did go second. Brian went before me, and so I saw Brian go and he fell and he clipped his leg and I was like, ooh, that hurt. So then I go okay, And now when I go over to the dasym, they're like, you need to take this shit seriously. I was like, oh, you have no idea. I am like, I really am, like I know what I looked like, like, I mean, really serious person. While I was waiting for my turn, I was doing push ups, I was doing planks, I was practicing walking and waddling.

Like there's no like ten minute totorial on how to do this, like let's try it on like a practice, or it's like here, look at it, huh, and now go do it. There's no lesson on how to do it? Do you know? That's when you were little used to say you can wonder how everyone else is doing things, or you can just try to figure it out. Yep,

that is this. It's just this anyway. So I go down and as I'm going down, you have to like go through like you have to go on this bridge and then you have to go in a hole and then you go down a ladder and then you're on a platform. And what the Grenadium was was two platforms, two wobbly ladders in between the two platforms with like a bar in the middle that you had to step up and over, and then a drop three hundred foot drop,

like just crazy, unreal. There was a rescue team at the bottom too, just in case like crazy, So that was reassuring. So I was like go down. And as I'm going down the ladder, my safety rope locks and you see me in the episode kind of like flying around like a ferry and DS Billy's like get down, and you hear me giggle. Well, what actually happened was my rope got locked, my safety rope, and so I'm

dangling there right and he's like get down. I'm like I can't, and he's like, get you'll ask down now, stop fooling around. I was like, no, literally, look like I can't get down, like the rope is holding me up. And he was like, oh all right, and so then the team fixed it and it came down. So now in my head, I'm like, shit, this is gonna be easy if I got resistance like that, That's what I thought, because like, I mean, the rope blocked me like that,

and now I'm gonna be set. The second you touch that platform unlocked, it is a loose cannon, no safety nothing, It is loose. So I was like all right, and then you step onto this. I mean, the ladder is probably an inch and a half thing and you step on and it is wobble nation and Billy the whole time is eyes forward, don't look down, don't fall. You look like a baby waddling too. Mama, Come here, mama.

Where when like he's just poking and poking and poking at you, I was just like, okay, I got this. Like everyone was kind of hyping me up before. They were like they were like, you're gonna do it, You're gonna do it, and I was like, you know what, I actually might like go slow stand strong. And when I went when it started raining, so it wasn't raining for anybody. And then I started the rain, and so I was like, oh sick. I was like, don't look down like you saw two people fail, Like, just do it.

I wanted to be the first person that did it. I was like, that'd be sick and it would have been so cool. And so I start waddling and I'm doing great, doing the best out of everybody so far. Pass go to touch my toes and I stand back up, and the dancer on me is like touchto stand up like easy peats. Well, what happened was as I went too fast because I just was like, all right, just stand up, and my hips just got a little under me.

And I watched everyone else fall and hit their leg or their hip or their back, and I was like absolutely not. Billy said, dude, He's like, if you're gonna fall, just fall. And so that's why I just like sucked in the middle because I was like, going down, don't hit your head, don't hit your leg, just go down. And so when I knew I was going down, I was like, don't even fight for it. I was like,

just go down. And so then I went down and I was like, dang it, Like I was mad at myself, and I got over to Billy, and Billy was like, you know what you actually did all right? Like I thought you were going to do it, and I was like thank you Stappan. He was like, but you did it. You failed, and I was like, valid failed. Then I go up to crawl up the ladder again. So you're now on the other platform. Oh mind you after now,

so you're dangling. They pull you up. You have to get your feet back on and they put resistance on it now and you still have to waddle across, just with resistance now. So either way, all of us waddled across. Just if you failed, you then got resistance and it was just as hard. Like I mean, okay, that's a lie. It was not just as hard with resistance. It was much easier with the resistance because he just felt safer. But like it's you still had to do it. That

really sucks. Yeah, so you weren't free from it once, you know, once you felt you still had to do it. Yeah, Is that because that was the only way to get you out or like yeah, they could have like probably swung you. But like yeah, it was just the easiest. That's not gnarly. So then I go up and I go to Foxy DS Foxy and after every task, you know a few of the DS would give you like a creature, right, So go to das Foxy and he's like, and I'm going to be own a swift. Y'all thought

you had it. Then I blinked and you failed. And I look at him dead and I was like, so what you're saying is next time you shouldn't blink, and he I mean if that is when I learned never speak to the DS out of touch like that. He was like, a fuck goal with your comments, and I was like, nope, valid, valid. I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. That was very disrespectful of me. I should have So I was like sorry staff and ran away. But but again he kind of

like hyped me up. So then I go across the bridge and I go over DSQ and DSQ goes, I'm gonna be honest with you. I was like, yes, Staph, he goes, you looked like a bag of ass out there, and I literally was like, he's right, I did. I did. I had a shot to look really cool, and I failed get your shit together, huh. And that is when I learned I'm way too hard on myself looking back, but I really took that and I was like, you did,

look stupid, you failed. Don't do that anymore. And I was the only person there that was really hard on myself about failing tasks. Then we go back over and you have to wait for everyone to finish, and we all got really thirsty, and so mind you, we're probably in like six hours deep at this point. We're all really thirsty, and so we see water jugs and we're like, hey, staff, like, can we fill these drugs up? And they're like, go quick. So we go and me and Tom Sanderval we're helping

everybody fill up water jugs. Okay, they're like, all right, that's enough. Tom and I didn't fill ours. Fuck. So we start filling ours and I start filling Tom's and they're like, I said, that's enough for you to get your ass back over there and getting a plank. Fuck. So now Tom's is filled, Mine still not, uh uh. So we're in a plank down, up, down, up, doing pushups while everyone's just watching us. They're like, when we say something you listen to us, and we're like okay, valid.

So then everyone felt really bad that I didn't fill up the water. Yeah that's the only one now that didn't have a wall. And everyone at this point was trying to share with me. I'm a germophobe. I don't share. I don't share drinks, I don't share food. And I was like, no, no, I'm alright, I'm all right, Like I would rather have been thirsty. I was like, I will be thirsty, I will eventually get water. I'm not

sharing with these strangers. That's an important detail. That is an important detail even to this day, like the fact that like, wait till I tell you about dinner at Nicks the other night. Okay, anyways, and the concert story with nicksho so yeah, I was like, no, I'm not sharing waters, No, no way. I was like I'm good, guys, thank you, I'm not really that thirstay porched. So then everyone ends up finishing like no drinks of water, no drinks of water. Still have not taken a drink of water.

We get into the cars now and we don't know where we're going there, Like all right, when I say move, you move into those vehicles. Move so we go into the cars. We get in the cars and we start driving and we're starving now at this point because it's like now probably like four o'clock since breakfast. Yeah, and so we're starving, and all of a sudden we see like these four brown bags up by the driver and we're like, what do you think is in those bags?

There's four bags, there's four of us in the car, like, what is it? And we were like, hm, we should ask for them, and like the drivers can hear us, were like, no, we shouldn't ask, And then like all of us were like, you think, like, look if all four of us ganged up on that driver, like we could take them, Like we could take the driver for the brown bags. And so finally we asked to drive. We're like, hey, what are those do you got any snacks? Like? Oh,

those brown bags by chance for us? And the driver was like and then all of a sudden someone just reached for them and we could take them, but like we had to like take the initiative to do it real in the brown bag was our lunch. Oh, And we didn't take them for about an hour into the car ride. Oh, and then finally we grabbed them, and there was four four bags. Four sandwich is all different and it was mystery. So I was like, all right, everyone pick which one you want without seeing it. So

everyone picked two left. There was a long, skinny bigette and there was a thick one. And I was like, well, I'm going to be smart that. One of the boys was like, you can pick and I was like, I want the thick one, like you, I want the meat one. Right. I opened it up and it was a smoked salmon bangel I have like verbally said out loud multiple times in my life, I hate smoked salmon. I opened it and I was like, that's what you get for taking the thicker that's what you get for being selfish that

you hate. Good luck you were just trying to get meat, though. I ate the whole thing. You would have thought it was my peanut butter and jelly like by the way I ate it. It was so good, every bite of it and now it's like a comfort food. But yeah, ate every little bite of it. Uh. And and then I was like, okay, was there water in your rag? Nope, still don't have water. Still didn't have water. It was just a sandwich. So then we eventually got back to base and it was like get on, get on the

bright square. So then we got on the praid square and that's when they chucked us our burgains for the first time. And they chucked the burgain and they're like, don't let it touch the ground, and you know, of course a few people did. And they're like, this is your reality. They kind of give us like a duk on what's going to be. And then they're like, go accommodations and they point us to the door and you run in there, right, So you run in there and then in just a little bit, Daddy Foxy ds Foxy

comes and he's like, all right, let's go. I'm gonna take you on two of your base. Takes us on a tour, shows us all around, shows us the mess the doctor's office, where to go if we need the doctor, the bathrooms. This is where we can hang out. This is where you cannot go. You can't go past these lines. If you want to go to the bathroom, you can't go this way. You have to go around the long way. You have to jog everywhere. You have to go in

buddy system, you have to go in pairs. There's a lot of rules, and we got the rundown that night, and then we didn't know what to expect for the rest of the night, you know, we kind of At some point they said, dinner's ready, mess is ready, and they assigned duty recruit and first duty recruit I believe was black China, and so they assigned her duty recruit. And so they said, whatever you need to do to recruit,

you know, you go to the rock. And so she went to the rock and they said dinner's ready, and then she came and told us that dinner was ready, and so we go in. You had your little fucking silver tin canister that you took with you go in and it was like rice, peas and carrots and chicken and white juice. The chicken and white juice was sucks as fuck, but the rice and peas. I was thriving, literally my meal before I left. I had my best friend make me rice peas, carrots and chicken. Like it

was just like my dream. Did you have a water? I'm still like, God, give my k once I got the basic, I didn't get water, okay, Yeah, so then yeah, we we we ate dinner and I was like, it's actually not a bad like, I mean, you're starving, so it's like it is what it is. I love the white rice, the peace. I was thriving last night. And then you know, we all just kind of like wander back to O accommodations. You don't know what's gonna happen.

Pick where you slept in the room. No, so you go in and you had a bed and a box with your number on, and in your box there was a robe. You could only wear the robe though if you were going to her from the shower and you could only like sleep with it. You could have like lounge around in your robe. And it was like a big, warm, dry robe. Some toilet paper, uh, notepad was in our burgains. Uh. I think the only stuff in there was the toilet paper and the robe and our our toothbrushes, and you're

gonna they provided you with that. I was sandwiched in between Tara Reid and Tom Sandaval, and then I ended up being sandwiched between Jack Osborne and Tom Sandaval, and then just next to Tom Sandval. I ended up having the end for a few nights. Okay, Yeah, so then that was it. We never knew what was gonna happen that night. We didn't know if we were gonna get called back out, and then all of a sudden, lights

just went out and our room was pitch black. We all got our head lamp out, and we're like, okay, like do we call it a night? And we fell asleep and everyone, uh the first night we all go to fall asleep and we're all now exhausted. Yeah, and so we're all like laying in bed and like people

are noisy. Tom's noisy, Tara was noisy. Tara was snoring, slooping or drink like just like you're like, just like over it though, right, So you're just laying in bed and all of a sudden, out of literally nowhere, Tara wakes up and goes hood hair has that and Thomas, I'm talking it is pitch black in the room. Everyone's asleep.

We're all like what and she's like hell and yes, John and Thomas a liar and you can't understand what she's say and we're like, Tara, what She's like, my liar is John and Tom and they said someone else here has the liar and Jack osboard. I think it was was like Tara, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep, and she was like, yeah, I'm so sorry, and she fell asleep. Hellow her and yeah she's great, and we all just were like, what the fuck was that? Okay,

so fall asleep. Now we don't know when you wake up. Thomas's no one, no one, no one now. So the next day we actually, okay, I should pause there now, any questions on that first day, first night? Yes, what were you like?

to fall asleep for me? No? No, you I have this weird thing where the more uncomfortable I am, the better I sleep. If I sleep in a warm room with nice cozy blankets, I will not sleep. But if I'm on a plane sitting straight up with turbulence, I

will crash, you know what I mean. So like I slept great, okay, everyone, So we had we had a sleeping bag, okay, and every single human got out there sleeping bag at night and this night one and like laid it out, got in it, took their clothes off, like slept in just like their long John's and like a sports bar. The boys slept topless like it just

like didn't matter. They're in their sleeping bag. And I'm laying on the bed with my full gear still on, shoes on, laying there with my robe over me, and everyone's like jojo no, And I was like yes because at some point they're going to be like get ready now, And I don't want to deal with putting my sleeping bag back in my bergen, no, because you never put it in your bergain in the bottom. Yeah. Taught us how to arrange our burgen. Oh, that first day we

had to fill our burgen with sandbags. So we had to make our burgen. It was about twenty five kilograms and you had to make it from thirty to thirty five kilograms. I see, I don't just to make it heavier for training. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, And so that we had to do. And I was like, I ain't getting my sleeping bag out from the bottom of my bag every single night to then put it in. No, no, no way, that's happening. Because what happened was it went

sleeping bag. I'm sorry. Your whole burgin was lined with a waterproof bag, and so you would have to take the sleeping bag was in the bottom of the waterproof bag. She would have to take all your dry kid out, all of your accessories out, put your sleeping bag back, put all your stuff back in, and then put the stand back in. Sleep bag goes out the bottom. No way, I'm doing that every night. I was like, you'll leave it fine. We called. So the first night no Jack

gassed us out with the fire they asked. So we had all these different jobs. We had firewood, dooty recruit, washing duty, and cleaning duty. Okay, dotey recruit was in charge of everybody. Firewood was in charge of chopping wood, making sure it was always stocked up to the top in case there was a blizzard. And we couldn't get out of chopwood. You always had to have it like

double stocked. Cleaning was in charge of like making sure the accommodation was tidy, and then washing up was in charge of making sure the dishes got done by day three. We all just were like, okay, everyone makes sure your own spot isn't tidy. I always wanted wood, so me and a boy would always go to the wood, didn't matter who always was me and a boy. I basically

became dooty recruit. Like I mean, I shouldn't say that, because doody recruit did have a lot more roles than I took on the role of like making sure everyone had it together. That we just kind of thing. And then Jack really took over washing up, and Kelly, while Kelly was there, really took over washing up, which was like prepare the dishes for everyone to be able to clean them up. Yeah, it was super great. That's not

a great job. No, I hated that job. I never wanted that job, but I did a lot for everyone else. Like I just kind of like made it work. Like we all just wore like be self suspicient, like clean up your own spot, like just let's get in trouble for the big things off the small anyways. So yeah, we we did that. So does the room just like quiet down and everyone just like we kind of. Tom would do his arts and crafts in the middle of

the night, so night one, you know Tara's snoring. Tom didn't do arts and crafts night once, so I won't talk about that till night too, But yeah, Tara, Tara snoring. Beds are creaky like it just and no one knows when to wake up. And if you had a pee, you had to go with a buddy. And so I told everybody. I was like, look, I pee like a freaking dad that drinks too much water. I was like, if anyone has going in the bathroom in the middle of night, I'm your girl, pack me up. I don't care.

And so I would wake up with anybody and everybody. You would just hear like, in the middle of the night, is that anyone to wake the house to go to the bathroom, And you would listen, and if somebody was like, yeah I do, you would just like fall back asleep. But if nobody did, I was always the one that was like, ya go, And actually Tom Santaval was the other one that was like, yall go. Me and him were really good about like going if someone else had to go, how come I want you to go with somebody.

Always have to be in a buddy system in case I'm just I don't know, in case war strikes, Yeah, it could happen. Not everybody listened to the Buddy system. In the beginning. Tom was very bad about listening Buddy system. He was like, if I just gotta be in the middle of the night, like I'm just gonna go, Like I'm fine. We're like Tom, You're gonna get us all in trouble. Just follow the world, buddy. Uh yeah. So

night one. Night one, honestly, like was pretty chill, Like it was a big fun sleep like we were at freaking summer care. You're not scared, You're not worried. I can do that at this point is a vacation. At this point like ooh spooky, Like we had to like fall down a ladder. Oh, Like it wasn't too high, it wasn't too like man, yeah, I mean like we did it, like everyone got through it. Everyone did it. Like we were chilling. Uh yeah. So then we fell asleep night one. We woke up all of a sudden,

the lights just like turn on. Oh, they just turn on out and know we're super bright. And if you watch when they turn the lights on, you see me shoot up out of it. I was the first one up, and I was like, lights are on. Everybody, Like I think to dressed this day? Yeah, because I stayed in my clothes. Yeah okay, And I mean I'm thinking that they're gonna come and be like get all the way

to that now. Every day when we woke up, we had an hour, but I never I was like, I was waiting for the day when they were going to like beat our ass in the beginning, but they never did. They're probably waiting for you to sleep and as wards for sure. And then eventually the only thing that I ended up taking off when I slept was my shoes. So I would take my shoes off and I would put them at the edge of my bed fully like open and unlace so I could slip them on super fast.

And then what I would do is I would sleep. If I got too hot, I would take my jackets off, but I would lay them down like in order so I could just slide them back on, and I would sleep with my armband on me, so everyone else will kind of like take their armband off. But I would sleep with my armband on me and my head lamp

in my hand. That was something that I didn't do till probably like day four or five, because sometimes in the middle of the night you would need your head lamp or what like if somebody had to go to the bathroom to grab your toilet. People need your head lamp or see somebody. Yeah, and so I would wrap my armband on my arm or in my hand. I'd i'd lace it to my hand, or I would put my and my other hand had my head lamp because I was like, I just want to be prepared. I

just want to be prepared. All I want to be as prepared I am prepared. I swear. I want to make them like you. That was my only mission today too. We woke up, let's go on. No one knows what to expect. All of a sudden, you dirty recruit. And so Angela was due to her cruit and homegirl is out like a light. And so Angela wake up, wake up. And that's when you see me going over them like good morning sunshine, like yeah, I could and wake up,

and she did not want to get up. She did not want to get up, and I was like, oh shit, here we go. So they called her out and they were like, breakfast will be up in five. So we go out and we go up to breakfast in five and uh yeah. We we walk into the mess and we don't know what to expect for breakfast. And now now everyone's like, okay, we're here, like it's day two,

like we got this. And we go into the mess and it's it's breakfast is up and we see a platter of white toast that's not really toast, it's just like white bread. We see a bowl of jelly, bowl of dried fruits, pot of oatmeal, pot of scrambled eggs on our runny and we're like, all right, sick breakfast right, like chilling at this. I made oatmeal and jelly. Yeah, mix it up, put some fresh the dried fruits in it,

got some scrap old eggs, ate some toast. By the end, we didn't know that we were going to get this breakfast every single day. So by the end, this breakfast got so old. Yeah, to the point where my end in concoction was I kid you not because you just wanted to eat fast, literally scrambled eggs, jelly and oatmeal mixed together, scooped on bread. Shove it in. Why did you want to eat fast? Because you just didn't know

when you were going to be done eating. That's disgusted and you had to clean your stuff and hum, it was awful, but like at the time, it was delicious. I like, I loved breakfast because I knew what we were getting and I was great. Plain oatmeal and scrambled eggs. I'm good, Like I can live all that white bread. I'm good. By the end of it. It was like fucking eggs and oameal on toast and call it good. Like, doesn't mean I never thought to put someone like the

dried fruit in your pocket? Tom did? Tom did? Tom saved the drive fruit always huh. I a few times would take some dried fruit, but he didn't really didn't. Okay, So I'm gonna read you my day one journal, okay, and then this will kind of maybe maybe lead into more stories. Honestly, we probably could just do day one like this has been so much. Let's just do day one because that's when they found the cigarette tintauris. Yeah, we can stories that I like have out of schimical

because this is gonna lead into that. This is gonna lead into the learning the things. I didn't talk about learning the things yet. I made a list of who I like versus who I didn't like, things I missed. Yeah, there's so many details to do day one. Okay, okay, so this now, yeah, okay, Yeah, Like I said, there's gonna be a lot of parts. I'm gonna do this day by day because seriously, there's so many stories, and I just I want to go into as much detail as possible with all of this, and I want to

tell every story that I can think of. Solway it's out there in the world. I think you're smart to do that, because I was wishing there would be like a tell all yeah YouTube and stuff like that. I have a lot more stories from day one. So let's hear journal Day one, all right, Journal, Day one Journal. Day one is a full story journal. Day one is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight pages. All right. The eight journal is a half a page. Like I got really over it.

Billy Staff. Billy say, head down, stay down, don't move. Then he pulled us out one by one out of the van. I was last to get pulled out, first by the hood, but then by the hair, which I liked it. Then we got bags over our heads, had to walk like a Konga line, then drive more while being blindfolded. First name Billy called me was Creatia. He also said he didn't like me, which it's now my mission to make him like me. We went to the first task, ladder bridge walk. I went third. I failed,

which made me mad at myself. Everyone was nice, but cue he called me a bag of ass, but also he was right. I didn't like failing. I don't want to again. After I went, I got in trouble for helping someone fill their water. Then we got in a new car and drove the Base, which was like an hour away. There was four of us in the car. They had four random sandwiches. I got a smoke salmon bagel. I was so hungry, it was amazing. Then I got to Base, took a tour ate dinner chicken, white juice,

rice peas, sweet potatoes, and carrots. I loved it. Favorite meal. Now we're just waiting for the rest of the night. I've wanted to call Mom, Kez, Rachel and Abby. It's been a fun day and I just want to tell everyone about it and hear it. Third days, I felt my phone buzz in my head so much. Phantom phone syndrome is real. Really, I wondered how it was to just shut your phone off and crazy. Yeah, it's eight fifteen, I'm gonna get some sleep quick. Uh nine oh seven,

awake and getting ready. So I slept for like an hour, little under an hour, and then they were called us ten forty three. We were done for the night. That's a long day. Yeah, I'm being very hard on myself. Currently, we had a test of character workout with a rock oh my god. The rock workout was on day one. Well, you had a little rock. We had a test of character workout with a rock and we had to speed get a rock. One of the boys handed me one, and then when we all got back, I had one

of the smallest. We had a duck walk, lunchwalk, burpie and something else. We slammed the rock while Burt being and I broke mine. That's how small my rock was. I broke it while throwing it. My stamina is by far the best, but I know I could have made that harder on myself. Then I have whoa. It's seven fifty five pm and I just walked into a massive between Brian and Angela. I was getting my mic changed,

but fuck, it's hated. I also have when I failed, Daddy Foxy said I thought you had it and then I blinked and you failed, So I go next time, don't blink. Thought it was funny, but he didn't. My budgie held me up like a fairy. Then I had a list of who I liked versus who I didn't like, but then I ended up crossing that out because I was like, if my journal gets red again, I don't want that being out there sixth grade. It's literally so

sixth grade. But the thing is is, I don't have anybody tell me just who you liked right on this light it was Brian, Savannah, Kelly, and Dez. They were my first, but then I aboord a mission. I think right away on day one probably would have also been Tyler. I didn't know Nick well yet. Tyler. I got a good vibe from day one. Yeah, those were honestly like people. Day one dead stories. Oh I got good dead stories. I got good dead stories. Oh you're talking to the

Robbert stories. But I got one. So on day one they came in and they told us that we were gonna need to memorize information. Oh yeah, so I have that written down. Muppet clap, grit and NBC Muppet is most useless pathetic person ever trained, Clap is clear loud as an order, pauses, NBC nuclear biological chemical, and grit group range indication type of fire. We didn't know what we were gonna need them for, but we found out

on day two very early. Anyways, Yeah, so Robert Horry, when we got back into the accommodations, I didn't really understand what a big deal Robert Horry was and he was telling some incredible stories about Kobe and playing with Kobe and like, I mean, he is a massive basketball player, like massive in the NBA, and so everyone really loved his stories and he would tell these stories and I literally,

this is awful. But I was like fuck that, I'm going to sleep because everyone was so engaged in his stories that I was like, no one's going to come in and interrupt this. I'm talking producers too have to be in a control room being like, oh I want to hear this story. No one's going to interrupt this. And so I was sleeping tell his stories. I was like I not, No, there was something else while I was reading this, and I was like, oh, I want to talk about that. Oh the rock workout. Yeah yeah yeah.

So I basically they called us out to the Paride Square and they were like, go get a rock right where. So they spread over to the rock pile and one of the boys just hands me a rock out of the pile and I just take it a run and I literally got back into the Prade Square and I looked at it and I was like God, damn it because I just knew I knew what that challenge was gonna be about. It was gonna be like, did you pick a big rock word little rock? And I had

this one of the small lists. If they handed it, they handed it to me. But like I should have taken initiative. And that's what I learned, Like it's a team game, but it's also a solo game. Yeah, And so I had my little itty bitty freaking rock and

did all these workouts and I mean it was hard. Yeah, I mean I had like a ten pound boulder and like Jack Osborne's over there, and they called him the Pillsbury Dope Boy because we had a dunk walkway it, which is like when you're squatted down walking and he was rolling his because he could have do They're like and the fucking Pillsbury Dope Boys did go and I mean, like I cackled, like they were so funny the DS.

I want to know, is there like a book where the DS has learned all they're like funny phrases from so funny they're phrases I can't even They just roast everyone. They roast and they are quick. One day, DS Billy looked at me and it was like, stop nodding naughty, and I was like, that's brilliant. What do you call Tara dippy Dora? Her dippy Dora? It's like, that doesn't even make any sense, but it's hysterriby. Day two, what they said to Tara was my favorite thing ever. And

so you'll hear about that on my part two. God, this is gonna be an eight part series. I wanted to hear about Tara's cigarettes too, So when we were at the Trenasium, all of a sudden, well there's two stories you're actually So when we're at the Trenasium, Tom and Tyler realized that they had mixed up kids. So like, let's say we have to go to the bathroom because there was an indoor bathroom h here, And they were like, let's say we have to go to the bathroom, let's

go change. Yeah, Well they go into the bathroom. They were like, can we go to the bathroom. We'll go in a buddy pair. So they go in and they're in there. They were in there for like ten minutes, Like mind you, yes, they did all have to take everything all put anything back on. Well, DS Rudy was like, where the fuck did they go? DS Rudy goes and finds them in a bathroom changing together and is like, you are not They're ship seriously and all of us

are like, what's going on out there? Right? Like no one knows what's going on out there, and we just see them come out, and like Rudy was like they were changing, what are they going in there? And like they were just they were literally swapping clothes. But he thought they were like I never thought they were like they were making they were like two straight there literally

swapping clothes. But yeah, they were, they thought. I don't think he thought necessarily they were like making out like I feel like Rudy's had probably more like comparing dick sides or something like. I don't know, but yeah, they got so mad at them. And then Tara tried to sneak in cigarettes. So she and her clothes that she arrived and had him in every pocket, every stock, every bra.

Well then you had to change, and so when we changed, she swapped all her cigarettes and put them in the pants and then there's in these socks down in these shoes now, so she stocked up a cigarettes, but they saw her. So as we're leaving, DS Box was like give me your pack, and so she pulls out one and he's like, is that it. She's like that's it. He's like, open your pocket, and she pulls out another pack. Then she pulls out another pack. She had like eight

packs on her. They ended up letting her keep one, they did, Yeah, they did let her keep one. But yeah, she had like so many packs of cigarettes on her. It was hysterical. Gotta love good old terror. Oh my god, any other day one I want to hear about the fight that you walked into between Black China and Yeah, so even when it aired, it's still confusing, like what happened that I Brian. Brian has a personality that if

you don't understand, you don't understand for sure. And Black China is a very strong personality that also if you don't understand, you don't understand, and you she is a bear that you cannot poke. Brian is a little boy with a stick, and that is a recipe for disaster. So literally I was I think he's in the restroom or something, and I came back in and they were just like fighting with each other and like no one knew what was happening. That was like, what's going on?

And everyone was like I don't know. So I look at Brian and I was like, hey, bro, like ye you okay. He's like yeah, I'm fun. It doesn't matter. But I was like what, Like literally everyone was like, what happened? Asked her what happened? She didn't know what happened. Asked him what happened. He didn't know what happened. I was like, Okay, this is just strange. But they were like yelling at each other in the accommodations. It was wild.

I thought it was over like the temperature in the room. No, he literally like I think he cracked a joke and she was like, well I don't joke like that, and like he was like, oh, like okay, and she was like, don't get sassy with me, and I was like, I'm not sassy with you. You'reself like something like that, like just like petty, silly, stupid. Like the people that bonded in the beginning. Actually was interesting because it's very different from how it ended. Like I in the beginning definitely

bonded with Kelly and Savannah. Tyler and Dez bonded because like the like football vibe, Nick and Tyler actually like prior to Special Forces. Vocally hated each other, serious publicly hated each other. Mm hmm, yeah I didn't know that. Yeah, Like we're very open about it, Like I don't know, just like Bachelor Nation didn't agree, Like I don't know, very different people. I think Nick has said something about Tyler. Tyler had said something about Nick. But just like they

don't mix, you know what I mean. Yeah, probably just like me and Christy from Dance Bombs prior to the reunion, you just don't mix. You just don't walk on the same side of the street. And then like you do something like this and you're like, okay, wait, you know what I mean. Yeah, Now Nick and Tyler are literally like freaking brothers. Yeah, it's it's cool to see. Actually, everyone just kind of like bonded to somebody immediately, and

then those bonds definitely changed. I grew very close to Nick and Tyler and body Aaron and Tyler grew really close. I grew pretty close to Jack actually as well. It just it was cool to see, like who you who you eventually like grew very close to well, and then too, when people leave and if you're close to them, that was hard. That was hard. I knew if Nick left,

I was going to have a harder time. I think during Special Forces I was closer to Nick, and I knew if he left, I was going to have a really hard time because he like he was like really brotherly figured to me, like I don't know something about him. While we were there, like just felt like if I needed a hug, Nick, give me a hug. Like even now to this day, Nick is still one of those people, but like while we were there, he was number one for me. I like the feet story that you tell

about Nick. You'll have to wait for you for that's a van story. That one too. I like that one, the van story when he yeah, yeah too so soon the van story was I just saw it in this last EPISOD so that I saw and I got really happy. Yeah, you gotta wait till day seven because those stories are great. Man Day one, I think that's probably it. We fell asleep. No one really knew what to expect. We didn't know when the lights were gonna go on. We didn't know

how long we were going to sleep for. We didn't know or we're supposed to wear. I fell asleep fully dressed. I was like, I'm ready I'm ready. Whenever they call, I will be ready. Yeah, we were still looking a mess day one. No one had their outfits together. I knew day one when they showed us the axe job with the firewood, that I wanted that I wanted that to be my job. And I knew it was gonna be hard for people to get me that job because all the boys were like, that's a man's job, you

know what I mean? And so I knew I was gonna have to convince the boys like let me do it with them. But eventually you'll hear all my firewood stories. And you've never sung an act before. I never saw an axe before, never tried wood before. No, heck no, now professional at it. I would be interested to see if I could do it like still, like how good I would be at it? Because I got really good.

I did it every day. I wonder even go here to like chop wood anytime, you know, anytime now I see like a like uh like a like wood for sale, I always send a picture of it to my boys. I'll send it to a group out of me Jack, Nick, Tyler, Bodie, because they were who took me out to chop the wood with them. They're the best. Oh, I got great stories. I ran an axe into my leg. Day two, I

burned my hand. There's so many stories that word gasoline on yourself, Ford gasoline on myself, day six, five or six, Yeah, so many stories, so many beastings that nobody saw. I remember what I said, Did you cry and you're like every day? Every day? I did not cry day one. Okay, in the episode, it airs that I cried day one. That interview was day six, day one. I no offense, did not miss my family, did not miss my friends, like I wanted to call everybody to be like dude.

So today I walked across a wobbly ladder and fell down the middle of it and dangled and then got pulled back up, then got told I looked like a back half, then tried to smoke salmon, and then we're on base. I have to carry this thirty five pounds back. Supposed to be like in between thirty and thirty five, but I made mine thirty six, so that way, like,

there's no fucking it up. And wait to hear the Bergen story too, when when when they wait them oh uh huh, Honestly, I'll give a spoiler because I've never told you this. So they come in to WAM. Now a big lesson that we learned this was on day seven, is that we needed to take some initiative. Yeah, and

that was a big lesson we learned. Maybe it was day six actually, And so then they they did a pre kidnapping that didn't get aired where they like came and kidnapped us and they took our burgains from us. And then we're in our accommodations and we asked the DS. We were like, hey, when will we get our burgins back? And they're like, we'll bring them. Do you don't worry

about it? And so I go out a base, right, I go out of our accommodations to go into the mess and I saw our burgens outside of the gate and I go back into everybody and I was like, hey, everyone, I know we're not supposed to leave base, but our burgins are out there and they're being not watched. Yeah, And I was like, I think we should go grab them. And Aaron was like, I'll come get them with you, and I was like, all right, let's do it. We didn't know if we're supposed to. We had a lesson

on taking an initiative, and I told everyone. I was like, look, I know we're not supposed to be, but they said, take initiative. Right there, I can see them. Someone can come with me, we can take initiative. And I think what was going to happen is they were going to take stand out of them to make someone's not weigh the right them out. I think that's what was going to happen. But I took the initiative and Aaron took

the initiative with me to go get them. So then they come out to weigh them, They're like, get your buggins, get on the bright squat, no heads up that they're going to weigh them. Right, we had the stand in them out for seven days. They weigh everybody. They put me last in line to get wait and DS Billy like looked at me and like goes to pick up my bag and I'm sitting there with flying colors confidence

mine's a kilogram over. Yeah, because I was not about I told all the boys and you'll hear about this on day one and two. I'm sorry. On day two and three, I told everybody. I was like, we are going to get in trouble. We are gonna get punished, but not for something stupid. I ain't getting punished for you not having your armband on or you having a missing button. If we get punished because someone's button is different, no happening on my watch, my way, and so sand

in my bag. No, I would rather have an extra kilogram. So he has Billy goes and he puts mine on the scale and he looked out and he was like, oh shit, like he like like he thought he thought I was gonna be the one that was like slacking off the lader bag and I had the heaviest bag because I was like not not he like me now? He was like, so are we friends? Yet? So many good stories though, so many memories? Anything else on day one? I don't think there's anything else. I feel like I

really went in. I feel like it really did too. I feel like I really just would want to know like more of like what you are thinking? So like, were you like nervous? I was very curious. I was really curious who the first to go home was. I will say night one, I was like, how is Terra still here? I really did not know how terror I didn't think she was going to make a day one, I really didn't, and then she did. She got through the rock workout and I was like, damn, like we

did it. Pull it and I was like all right. So then I was kind of like, I wonder who the first place to go home was. And it was kind of a toss up between what it be Terror or Angela who was black China. Yeah, And I was like, well, both of them are falling asleep here, like they're both chilling. That was something I was thinking. I was very curious about who was going to go home. I was curious about what was going on at home, my home, Like I was very curious as like what my family was doing.

I was very curious to if everyone had a good day, if everyone was okay, Like what if something happened, like if I'm missing something. Yeah, that was always thought and I just kept telling myself something is ever wrong, you will feel it. You will know, like if someone dies, their angel spirit will come to you and be like, hey, heads up, I died, But like don't worry, like finish your time here, you know what I mean? Like I kept just keep doing the challenges. I got delusional. I

really got delusional. Man. I think night one I didn't. I didn't miss any one. Night one, I really didn't. Having the time of my life. I was like, this is stoped. I'm away, like, yeah, yeah, this was hard, but like I did it, you know what I mean, little did I know how hard it was going to get and how bad I was going to miss everyone. I mean like day one, two and three were a joy ride or came, hardest shit I've ever done. Then day five came. It was harder than day four. Day six,

it was harder than day five. Day seven, day harder than eight was. I mean, eight was my limit, you know what I mean, it's crazy. Yeah. My priority was just making everyone laugh when we were in the combinations. Make everyone giggle, make everyone smile, make everyone crack a joke, make them laugh however I could, because I knew everyone's spirits are going to be down. I knew no one had their family. I just wanted to make people laugh.

I wanted people to like me. I did, and I just was like, I ain't going to change myself for people to like people like I want to give they one a good time, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, it's such a great experience. I can't believe you did it. I can't believe all the way there and did all

those things. So many things, so many freaking things like you literally walked across two mountains like a ladder, like wobbly super wobbly, like crazy things Like if I was there with you, I'd be like, say, honey, don't go so close the edge, save right. And this is like, yeah, gosh, literally yesterday I was standing on a chair and You're like, be careful, dun dangerous, And I'm like, Mom, this is nothing. All right. Well, I feel like we have been chatting

about day one for a hell of a long time. Yeah, but we got a lot more to talk about. I feel like day two and three can maybe be a combined effort. But who knows, maybe it'll be an eight part series of special Forces. Thank you all for listening to Jojesia. Now, thank you mom for joining me and tell this. You will be back. You will be sitting in this chair a lot more sitting on this bed, sitting on this bed. But there there are a lot of good stories. There's a lot we'll get into the

death notes. I'll read you my death note. We will read every day's journal. I will tell stories from every day stuff you didn't see. There's tasks you didn't see. There's beastings you didn't see, there's breakdowns you didn't see. There's stories with everybody, car rides, dinners, meals at everything that didn't get aired because you know, you're taking twenty minutes, twenty four hours into forty two minutes. Yeah, twenty four hours into forty two minutes. Like think about that. That's right.

That's like literally not even ten percent, Like it's it's a fraction of it. And so it's it's a very difficult show to edit, and they gotta do what they gotta do, and they got to chop out what they gotta chop out. But there's a lot of stories. Eight days isn't that long, but it is an eternity when you're in it. So get ready. Buckle up, mom, Thank you for joining me, thank you for roving here, Thank you for listening, and uh yeah, I love you. I'll

see you soon. Thank you so much for listening. Everybody, be sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Jojesiua Now Podcast. Be sure to write us a review and maybe if you're feeling to leave us five stars, I'll see you next week.