🚽 Workplace Toilet Etiquette | Is Hayesy Wrong For Doing This?

Get in the morning every day.

Hello friends, welcome along to the Jody and Hazy podcast. Here's some of the best bits from the year.

What the Fork, It's back.

So we couldn't stop with the fact that this segment was born out of, you know, people just stealing forks from the cutlery draw in every single workplace ever in South Australia. For our workplace, it's Abby in the newsroom. In fact, she's got a collection of three on her desk this morning, which is disgusting.

I'm sorry, it's four.

You should see her house too. It's like this absolute jungle of fork. You turn up and it's like, oh my gosh, I'm just trying to get through all the fork.

Hey, hey, Abby, where's the toilet? I need to go the toilet. Well, you just need to go.

Through that set of forks and then that second set and then turn right.

Don't open that door because a big giant hope of forks will come out wrong with me.

I think I actually need help?

Oh you think?

Yeah?

Yeah? When you got a falk psychiatrists.

Yeah, Falk psychiatrist, can you get in touch please as I need you any who.

We didn't want to stop at that every day problem.

We thought, let's open this up to problems university universally that you encounter every single day.

To it though it seems to be pretty heavily in workplaces.

It does, It does, and you're actually very triggered by one this morning.

Yeah, then got a couple get involved this morning. Workplace toilet etiquette, that's what we're talking about thirteen and twenty four to ten. If you do it right now as well, of course you get a little hundred dollars vout you thanks to mcafe my other workplace. Quick little example. Okay, there's two things for us males and you won't maybe you won't be able to connect with this. So when you go into a cubicle a tour, first of all, and you're not using urinal, what's going on? Why so shy?

What you got to hide?

And secondly, lift up the seat for goodness sake?

Oh and if you do lift up the seat, feel free to put it down when us women walk in there. We can have something to see on that's good, not just a toilet rim that'd be great.

And I don't have to touch the seat where you've weed I.

Don't know why the girls are using the boys toots with that anyway, that's all.

We've got a unisex on it up to you, of course.

Budget cuts, but you got the long drop as well. Good stuff, guys. So if you walk into in a men's establishment, if you walk in and there's droplets of urine on the seat, then all of a sudden, that's on you. Only ship one's on you because as soon as you go in there, you're the next person. So and if you leave you can't be like, oh, I watch you have the tour and there the person before we did that. Yeah, so you have to clean it up.

I know.

And if you think that's just a male only problem, you are sadly mistaken.

My friends, surely not women.

We on the toilet seat all the time, we droplets of we and then I go, oh, okay, I'll clean that up for you, and then have to sit on that seat that you've dropletted on.

You've dropletted on?

Do you know? The other thing is too is when you're not doing a wing, you're doing the other thing.

I will always wait until the person.

If someone comes in before that's happened, I'll wait until they leave.

I can't. I get that.

If I can't, I'm exactly the same. Really, So if someone comes in, you don't want them to hear what you're doing, especially if you think you might be doing something somewhat aggressive, if you know what I mean. But just the noises in general they come with it, that's private, that's really private.

It certainly is. I'm just to peel back the curtain here for one moment. We have the Brisbane Breakfast Show broadcasting out of Adelaide because of the origin munch of angels that a bunch of angels, and one of those angels is Olympic swimming legends.

Susie O'Neil just an absolute darling of Australia.

And so I've lived in fear the last couple of mornings. When I've gone to do my business in the toilet, I've just been like, this is my head. Please don't let Susio your I know, please don't let Susie walk in.

Especially. We're so shocked as well that because you like to do your number twos with the door open. So we're like, don't let Susi O'Neil see this.

Next minute, he walks in and I haven't metoproperly and I put my hand out, going, Hi, Susie.

I really admired your.

Career, Susie. I was so good to meet you. Can I touch one of your gold medals?

She's like, I'm good, don't touch me or my medals.

Thank you very much.

Thirteen twenty four ten. What the fork. Let's do workplace, let's do that. Let's do workplace toilet edicard.

Yes, let's do that.

Let's speak to Kate. Good morning to you, Kate, Good morning Kate.

What's your eatiquette in the workplace when it comes to doing your business?

Well, there's a toilet. Let's get stuck on red when no one's in there and you can't get in there, so we use a fork on the outside, openly left, a happy little fork. That's to the toilet fork.

It's all connected, it's all connected. There's a fork shortage, there's workplace toilet etiquette issues. The forks are used for the toilet etiquette. Oh my god, it all dies.

Kate, for combining our themes this morning, you get a one hundred dollars a cafe voucherre well done, thank you, thank you. I just love I just love the call going out like around her offers, has anyone got the toilet?

I've seen it?

Have you from the newsroom stolen it?

Angela? Tell us about your workplace toilet etiquette. Please.

I have people that leave two squares of toilet paper on the toilet roll and then don't change it.

Two things, there is a special place in hell for those people. And also, what do you think I'm going to do for the last two squares? That isn't achieving anything? Is it that cannot get the job done?

Can it? Angela?

No? And then you go into all the other care picos and they're the same.

Everyone's kind of avoided them and tried.

Yeah, oh my god, grow up. It's twenty twenty three.

I have two squares. What do you think you're gonna do with two scares? You just you're not you gonna do. You're flirting with the situation. You're absolutely flirting with what's going on down there, because then what down there, if it could talk, would be go on, could go like I'm given everything I can give.

I love that you're having chats with everything, like all things what's going.

On down there?

People often say that I talk out my ass.

Julia, what's going on in your cubicle?

Well, I add that I think we've got two things on a bench, and for some reason, there's always water swimming all over the bench. So when you lean look at the mirror, you get a sturdy cinemet of wet patch across your ut area if you bore the water off the We've even had notes to say, please slop up your water. I don't know how people get so much water on the bench.

Yeah.

The other thing that happens to Julia sometimes like because you can't take your phone into the cubicle unless you're an absolute animal like Andrew Hayes. So you've got to put either your phone or your keys or whatever on the bench, and then it gets all wet on the back of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's the like what sort of water is this? What's in there?

Yeah?

And then if it is wet in that particular area and the thing where you've got the dryer and you're trying to dry it, it's really weird. It's a visual thing. Yeah.

And you're that guy that's straddling the dyson, you know, those ones that have just got the hold in the middle.

You're like what do you do it with the mate? Jeez, hope the Dyson doesn't take it.

Hr for that, Andrew, We've got a bit of here. We've just got a bit of a formal complex, is it.

The Yeah, I knew it. I knew the d.

We've got time for one more. Okay, let's go to Donna. Good morning, Donna.

Hi here you going good?

Congratulations, You've got one hundred dollars a cafe voucher.

And what's going on in the toilets?

Oh, we have We've got four or five notes that says please do not spot on the toilet. We've got notes, and.

It continues to happen. Just say, I'm a nationality issues out for it because it's a shared complex, right, and you can go in there at any time, given time. And see, I've always.

Been sort of curious about that.

When you go to airports and there's like a no squatting sign on the toilet.

Yeah, I like when you I like when you go to airports and you see the picture of the guys and it says don't do this, and it's a guy standing on the toilet using it as a long drop. Oh no, that now, what am I going to do. Thanks so much, everyone got involved this morning. There's a lot of discrumbled employees out there, isn't it?

No, why don't you take this opportunity to officially apologize to that.

Dic No, I'll never This is an ongoing.

Complete the fort.

What the Fork? This is one of my favorite segments, which is born out of frustration.

Well, yeah, it's just the fact that there's no cutlery, specifically forks in any workplace kitchen right across this great state of South Australia.

Yeah, what the fork? And all of a sudden just the chance to really vent at the little things.

Yeah, and so now today we're going to ask what the fork is with modern dating?

Wow? Wee, Oh my god, I just read an article giving us a glossary of modern dating terminology.

Do tell And.

Who would have thought that it was so complicated? So what am we going to do is I'm just going to roll out a whole situations, a whole heap of words, and tell you what they mean in terms of modern dating. Okay, Benching when someone puts a potential relationship on ice for the sake of a more promising one. Bread crumbing like

Isn't that the footballer is tactic during the season, not that I need some company in the off season.

What about this one? Dtr enjoy the spoils things, dtr I said, DTR jokes define the relationship is what that stands for. It's that big awkward chat where two or more people discuss where things are going right. And this is my favorite. Submarining. We all know a ghosting is where you just disappear. Yeah, submarining is like ghosting, but when the person pops up again out of the blue, acting like nothing ever happened, just like a submarine.

Do you not fascinates me with modern modern day dating, especially the kids. Now, if you want to break up with someone, you don't have the conversation. Apparently, apparently you just post a photo of you and someone else, like on Snapchat or TikTok or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. Don't don't you look horrified? Projuices are it?

Yeah, that is an actual thing. It's not like we're breaking up. It's just like he's a photo with me with someone else that is so brutal.

Yeah, so this is a this is a different generation for us. Don't make it sound we're really old. But I mean we're both married. Yeah, producers married as well. Producer Zoe though, I mean, you're right in the guts of it, in a beautiful relation with a very handsome young man. I'll tell you what. Zoe over here, she's she slayd some toads.

Yeah, I'm way too familiar with this. I was single for five years before I met Alex this year, so I've been privy to it all, particularly ghosting.

Unfortunately, so ghosting, you've been on the end of ghost I've been ghosted, ghosting yourself.

I might have done some ghosting and that was fine, but when I was ghosted, it wasn't fine. And it was really rude as well, because when I date with this guy, and I remember getting home and saying to my housemates and not keen.

He wasn't great.

They give him a chance, give him a chance, so I didn't he ghosted me. That's brutal.

We saw the ghosting coming exactly.

But genuine ghost of just never responded to my text message, never heard from him ever again.

But you say genuine ghost like I was actually hooking up with Cable.

The thing that horrifies me about like all the dating apps in particular, is I guess when we were younger, you would never be rejected just purely on what you.

Look like like. Is that? Does that feel awful?

I don't know.

I feel like you you're a little bit dissensitized to it. When you're on the apps regularly, you're just kind of go whatever, because you're doing the same thing to other people. Yeah, and it's not like you get a notification every time you reject it.

Yeah, you only get the good ones. You just were left on the shelf, like not selected.

Y's right, you don't get a notification. But you look at your dating app and it says you have.

No you've exhausted all singles in your area.

Let's go to Liz. Good morning, Lise.

Mornings are Yeah.

We're good. How are you.

Okay, where do I start? I know you haven't got a lot of time. I'm going to give you a couple of things. I haven't been on a one day since I've been separated from my ex for about six are the experts? Sorry everyone six and a half years. And it's more about to get the apes. I know everybody loves them, but I'll give me a break. And then getting ready, Oh my god, how long is to take now? I don't know if I'm allowed to say this.

Like really really, but it's not.

Yeah, and I'm not a negative person. Not men love going out, but it's just look, you know, I'd rather have it there and just go see Evan. Thank you very much.

You'd like to date Lise? Give us a call.

We're going to undred dollars sh house about you to give to you, But you're going to find someone to go with.

Oh that's cruel, you know that's actually but look, you know what, I love men. I think that. I mean I train like being a sporty girl. I train of blokes all the time. I don't want any bloats to sing, oh what an absolute bitch. It's not it's just I'm going to shut up, all right.

Your alleged hazy.

When we started talking about what the fork this week, I didn't think the perils of modern dating would involve a woman who hates having to strap up.

I didn't pick.

That's that going? And even lizens like get her get ready with the dump button and I heard it. I'm still trying to work it out and seven seconds has passed too late to dump, and I think I know what's going on? Is that dumbworthy?

It's fine, dear, what.

Welcome back.

This is where we raise some serious life questions. We tackle all the issues that you look at in every day and.

You go, what is that?

Why when some people wouldn't tackle them because they're too dangerous, No, they're too peculiar.

Yeah exactly right. Well we're going.

There today and you take them head on.

Yeah, okay, let me preface this story by saying, normally, I make my kids eat pretty healthy food. Right, However, on holidays, which we have recently been, all bets are off and we just take that little food.

Pyramid and we dip her upside down. You flip it up, so she's fats and sugars first.

Yeah, it's like an upside down pair. Yeah.

We went to what can only be described as the best buffet in the world on the Goldie. So we were staying at the Star Residences at the casino there, and it's called the Harvest Buffet. If you ever get the chance to take your kids, just to see the sheer look on their face as incredible. So we walk in straight away, they make a beeline for the Natella fountain.

It's basically a chocolate fountain.

It's dangerous.

Yeah, they've also got an ice cream machine, some real sizzler vibes.

I was just thinking, I was like, why am I getting these beautiful flashbacks from my child?

But because because it's a buffet, they cater for everyone.

So there's the Asian selection as well.

So one stage I look over at my ten year old and she's sitting there on her plate is a marshmallow stick dipped in a tella. She's holding onto an ice cream cone just.

But then next to all of that was a plate of fried rice.

Yeah, that's the combination you're looking for.

Yeah, she's a balanced meal, sugars, carbs, and you've got your sweetness and your spices. So I'm disgusted in myself as a parent for allowing this to unfold. But I thought, you know, we're on holidays. It's the real variety pack vibes about it, and not the variety pack that you get for your kids with the just ride in it.

We're talking the cocoa pops, fruit loops. So I let it go through to the keeper, right, But then I draw I drew the line at one point.

When I looked at the woman sitting next to me at the table, and she had been to the Asian buffet and collected herself some steamed port.

Dumplings, beautiful for breakfast. But she was dipping it.

She was dipping it in one of those little mango yogurt compote things.

Is a compote compidate.

Whatever she was dipping her dim sims in yogurt for breakfast.

You can't do that. Come, It's just it just goes. I mean there's things that should not go together. For example, if it's like who do you go for? Someone goes, I go for the crows, but I also go for port. You can't do that.

No I do.

You can't do that.

I like the most. I like them both to win.

Oh my gosh, that's.

That's vastly different from putting your dim sims in some yogurt with mango.

You're mixing your sweets and your savories. Come on. I saw a train the other day on TikTok I think it was, and I'm like, oh, his new train. You get an orio mcflurry and you get two hash browns and put the Oroo mcflurry in the middle. It's it's delicious.

Oh, it is actually quite delicious.

Well, I've done chips in ice cream, yeah, which is disgusting.

But also whatever, Yeah, someone me that day.

We're not food shaming here this morning. That's not the purpose of these, but.

That's food shap Abby.

Do you have an unusual food combination that you like to put together? Thirteen twenty fourteen or send us a text o four double nine one nine nine one nice.

The one that I can't work at as well. I'm not sure if it's still a thing, but it was a good couple of years ago where chocolate infused with chili chili chocolate was.

A thing about that.

Yeah that's strange, isn't it.

Yeah, that's very old.

I don't want my chocolate to be spicy at all.

No, like chocolate to be sweet like you, don't you?

Yeah, that's exactly right. Her heads up once again. That best call this morning is gonna get this little school holiday package. So that's one hundred dolls reading cinem about you and Beach House batch as well. So give us cool. What the fork has returned?

What the fork it's back.

Back?

Is your sixty seconds?

Tell me afl Young Guns, Joshua, Shelley and Zach.

Go to Michelle your food combinations dell, oh.

Look that's hurt my soul as well. I will put well anything in bread, but honestly, I'll make ham without it anything really but like ham and cheese with like dorritos and maybe like dipping in thace Like it's gross, but it's so good.

Yeah, okay've taken after Yeah, wow, weekend, very brad.

You've lost me at Dorito's in your sandwich Michelle, I'm.

Sood Oh no, so what are you mixing?

Though?

So Very bread is a genuine mixture of savory and sweet when you're putting stuff in your sandwich, Michelle, is it purely savories together or will you sort of mix it up? Could you see could you throw on a bit of chocolate sauce.

In your Oh no, no, no, no no, it's not that sick everybody, So, I'm it's real.

But no. Did Very braid licorice in like a dip dip egg?

It was gress.

I let it go, Thank you for Zink.

Let's go to Louise watch your weird food combo.

As a child, I used to have studine some toast, and then I'd have a chocolate not Sunday after the.

Gosh, imagine the absolute battle that was happening in your stomach afterwards, swimming around chocolate.

It was just like little fish in Louise's gus. So I know, not the chocolate.

So what's that your childhood? Did you say, Louise? Do you still do that? Yes?

Yes, yep, every morning? What you still do?

No?

No, no, every morning as a child.

Not now.

I don't think my body could cope with that now stomach matures a little bit, thanks Louise.

Cindy, what the four are you putting together?

Pineapple fritters and gravy?

That's an interesting one because amazing. The pineapple part, of course, is very sweet, but the fried element turns into a bit of a savory, and then gravy goes pretty well on most things.

It has to be a good thick gravy, like a Madgie thick gravy. It just can't be runny gravy. It's got to be good gravy as well.

This rule, where are you purchasing this from your pineapple fritters with gravy?

Either?

I go the local fish and chip shop. But I actually started to add red rooster because you used to get a pineapple fridder in a pack with gravy, and I thought this might work.

I'm onto something here.

I love it. You would go in there as well as Cindy, and they'd go, we've got one pineapple.

Oh my god, that's like those deep fried bananas that you get at Chinese restaurants.

Yes, actually a quiet taste.

Kasha, good morning. Take us home with this one. What are you putting together?

When I went to school, I went to school with a kid who would rock up to refirst and he'd have a little trouble sauce, smarto sauce and he would have diced up watermelon and picked the watermelon in the tomato sauce and eat it.

Yep, that's the one. Oh my very goodness.

He would have it every day.

He would live off it.

He loved it so much.

And it always be tomato sauce.

Oh, smato sauce goes well on most things because it does actually have a lot of sugar in it. But that's just I mean, did this kid have any friends at all?

He did?

Indeed, you still, mate, Kasha, I haven't both for him for a couple of years. He flew off the handle.

Watermelon tomato sauce kid, We're not speaking to him. Oh, thank you so much.

I've just had a message from a friend of mine who wants me to ask Jody something. She said that her girlfriend, who grew up in Tasmania has pasta with milk and sugar on it and butter. And she said, is this just a Tasmania thing or is this do you guys have this growing up? And I said that's filthy and never message me again. But was that a Tasmanian thing?

I'm telling you right now, are you the Tasmanians? They love it because Tasmanian aliens.

That's disgusting, all right.

That is so offensive to think that just because we're from Hobart, we like pasta and sugar and milk.

But I can't give their mind.

Didn't have it as a job.