Jodi and Hazes Alfair podcast performing at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. The show is called Engrged. Can you please welcome Rubin.
Cater I'd love to say it's a pleasure, but it is very early in the morning for me to be here.
This feels homophobic.
Now what about this? The sixteenth of June is sold out, the seventeenth of June is pretty much sold out. But you've had to put on a new show on the twenty fourth of June at seven thirty pm.
I have by public demand democracy and action. And the Greece invented two things, democracy and homosexuality. So let's see which one does well for me. Let's fuse them together.
See what happens.
To be fair, I'm into it. I've got a king bed at the Intercoin. Let's see how many people we can get up. Oh goodness, get in. I'm going to say, get in, but also get up. It's a whole move on anyway.
Yes, it ties in beautifully to the show title and gorged indeed through it swollen, overblown everything that makes your mind going, what's going on here?
Well, originally what we wanted to do was have the word gorge in it like oh that's gorge, Oh that's gorge. And then we realized that if we just put engorged but capitalize the gorge and then we can get a really filthy pun in under the radar, so to speak, for the Adelaide Cabaret Fessel, and they went with it. It's sort of like when we were at q PAC in Queensland that had the ten meter high led screens on the side of the building and we had them with the K.
Hole there because no one at q PAC knew what a k hole was one.
So today I've got engaged on the Adelaide Cabaret Festival out the front in ten meter letters.
Well done you. And it's not like you to love a filthy pun, is it.
There's a reason I'm not allowed on live TV anymore. That's why I'm on tour so much. It's harder to hit a moving target. Yes, I'm so thickly spread across this nation. I might as well be systemic racism as.
Well, particularly with the Eastern States. I don't think they can partic identify where Adelaide is. Get Ruben, he's an Adelaide.
Adelaide can't identify where Adelaide.
Is Ruben what are we What sort of songs are we performing? Oh?
Well, there's a couple of originals in there, which we're very excited about. We have some stuff from some pretty niche performers like Amandalier, who is one of the queer kind of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio fifty four.
Then we've got some Carol king in there. Once.
I just have to really think because there's a lot of songs. It's eighteen musicians that I've got there. I know, normally we have different names for the band, So normally it's Ruben Kay and the Close Contacts, or ruben Ka and the Emergency Contacts.
This year it's ruben k and the Afterthoughts.
Because there's eighteen, sorry, because there's eight Did you have a dump button?
I can't find I can't find it. That's that's what I was told.
By a very unethical VET on Hands and Road, and I said to him, I said, I won't swallow it until you put it in a piece of ham and stroke my throat.
I still can't find.
The song list is absolutely incredible, as am I. In fact, I don't think the Adelaide Cabaret Festival deserves to have me. We've got some stuff from Amandalier, who's one of the old sort of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio fifty four. There's Carol King. We got a bit of Whitney in there. We got a little bit of Aerosmith in there. We've got some stuff from the Divine Comedy, this amazing sort of dramatic and vaguely depressing but very sardonic and biting band from the UK.
And then ah.
There's this amazing version of this song that your listeners are far too young to remember, called If I Ruled the World, sung by Tony Bennett. But let's just say we've given it the ruben k treatment. My goodness me, she slaps.
Yeah, gorged it a little bit? Yeah? Are you now?
I can tell because you're wearing such a short short in the morning. What fabric is is that? A is that it's like it's like the pants version of a sawn off shot done.
What you're were much they were track pants and you've taken a scissor to them.
Yeah, and under these clothes as well, nothing at all.
Nothing Now, I am engorged.
I didn't know this show came with a free mealp my coach.
Oh my gosh, I don't think the first time in my life I'm blushing. Is this what blushing feels like? Yes, Oh my god, depends what set of cheeks. Oh imagine if you're having a little inappropriate gorge gorged off with ruby Kate gorged off, you could go for hours room.
Have a drain because my mattress has gutters. But this is a whole.
Different thing right now, Ruben, you are incredibly stylish, and you've just made reference to Hazes at high. He's incredibly unstylish. I would love for you to give him some sort of makeover.
Look. I think it's very unfair to refer to people who like heterosect people who identify as beige as and don't you laugh, you're wearing it suspiciously off white sweater there that feels like it could be oatmeal, champagne or oyster. I think every single person is beautiful in what they are comfortable in. And if you're comfortable in a torn jersey with a coffee stain, you do to celebrate the journey you're on.
I don't think you've been seeing the Birkenstocks at this point is more sorry that Joe the bottom half please.
Oh but the calf is good and the macas socks with the Birkenstocks real time. But I will say this, if you're wearing Birkenstocks, you are immediately part of the queer community.
Really right. That's the b N L G B T q A.
I just toe in if you don't mind, please, we'll have to get some lubricant toe and a pedicure.
Yeah.
I've always said I reckon.
These cars could really clean up if I decided to switch over.
Actually, you should probably tell Ruben what your name auto corrects to on a night.
That's very funny. We spoke about this a couple of days ago.
Rubin and my I'd call myself hazy because my last name is Hayes h.
A y E s y incredibly original auto.
Correct always towards the end of an email, and he signed off autocorrect to gayest, So now I'm gay.
I really feel like I didn't need that information. I felt like you'd already broadcasted and stuff to It was confirmation, wasn't it. I mean, that was your confirmation.
Perhaps say that I love that sometimes isn't it funny how auto correct really portrays the truest parts of ourselves.
Yes, who told you?
Do you know what I'm having at the moment. It's not an autocorrect moment. But I'm copying a bit of flak online, which is fine. You know, you're a queer person out there, you gets some flax. But sometimes when people send me pretty nasty emails, they're doing it in such a hurry that they're forgetting to delete their email signatures.
Oh oh wow.
Which one makes it really easy to send it off to the police because it's the business.
Name that's there.
But also sometimes you get things like they'll say something really violent, awful, and then at the end they'll say please consider the environment before printing this, or a really big thread like something really awful, and then they'll say at the end, cheers John.
God, I love it. It's so camp seem adorable.
Yeah, it blows my mind when people hurl abuse on the internet and it's like, I think you've just abused someone and your photos there, and your name is there, and your place of work is there. Correct, so you've just done that in a public forum. Does it ever cut you? Do you ever get upset over it, or well I think I used to. Yeah, I think I used to.
And every soften one gets through to the keeper because it's just a numbers game, right, you never at your strongest one hundred percent of the time.
But also I think I've found.
A way to process it by putting it into the show, and because they've sent it to me. Yeah, it's not like I'm breaching confidentiality by names makes posing names and businesses. Yeah, so if you send me hate attached to your with your business, because I'm just like, okay, right, hate is hate.
Whatever you send it to me, be smart about it. Also classic Victorian classic.
Yeah, I've got a similar situation because we live across from a let's just say, a special massage place.
It's a brothel room. Fantastic, I've got to shift. I'm going to go there and pick up chap actually.
But it makes me laugh when like people pull up and it's like Bruce is electrical van, It's like a brand.
I'm like, Oh, I think I think those kinds of places should not be what's the word I'm thinking of. Oh God, I'm having I'm having an aneurysm live on the air. Well I don't think those places should be secret, and I don't think they should be covert. I think sex work is sex work, and if you want to go get your needs met, do.
It bloody proudly.
You can afford to see a sex worker in this economy, Bruce is electrical good.
Yeah, it's got too much money exactly. Yeah.
But they're always on the phone too. That's what makes me laugh. They're not proud about it. They've all got there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, See darling, I'm just.
Just going to a job. I just don't get into specificat.
Is just picking something up for dinner? Yeah, well are you Bruce providing?
Certainly? You certainly get a mouthful.
Don't play this game with this man.
No one, I'm say.
I'm telling you right now, you two have got dare I say the upper hand here because you're used to being able to modify and codify language for radio. I'm used to doing stuff live where I can be as free and easy with my language. So I want you to know I have shown so much restraint and control. This is restraining version. Wow, we didn't even organize a safe word, Reuben.
The show is called in Gorge. In case you haven't got that already. You are larger than life. I've seen you and you are just absolutely spectacular, So.
Thank you for having me.
Both of the shows, the sixteenth and seventeenth, have sold out, but we have added a new show on Saturday the twenty fourth at the Dunston Playhouse, me eighteen piece Orchestra and a party at my room at the inter Connor.
I could say, no.
Everything, what room number because of Hazy is going to be there?
Yeah, five fourteenth that's me. That's me down the hallway in the Birkenstocks