The 'Barbie' Joke That Almost Didn't Make It On Air

Take a sip of your coffee, settle into your seats.

You make a good This is Adelaide's.

Jody and Hazy.

Wherever I want want to be, May's happening. I don't know. Well, welcome to the podcast. Know what that means. The Monday Morning joke off is alive and well. And when I start live, well news read Abbey is just veering into dangerous territory.

Yeah, it's not veering. She's like, just guned it.

She's waving from it too. She's proud of it too. Floored it, Like, Abby, you're in area fifty one? What are you doing there? She's like, come look at me. I'm I'm in the most prohibited zone on the planet. Come join me.

It wasn't bad though, It's good. I have to admit that good confidence case. And she was up and about enjoy.

Now that's a job.

That was a joke.

That's a joke, Jo, that's a terrible job.

I think we all agree that the best way to start Monday is to just kick it off with a little bit of humor.

Yeah, why not?

Why not?

Oh yeah, laugh you way cackle your way into your Monday morning.

Yeah, I feel sick. Why do you feel.

They get really nervous?

No good, so you should like, I mean your track realcord, it's just so scratchy.

Come on, it's been good the last few weeks. And also I think the issue is is we have to run our joke past the boss Josh, and he has blatantly said to you that is unacceptable for radio, and you're going, yeah, you're still running with it.

Yes, he's always he's not as relaxed as you should be for this segment. We're supposed to be having fun. Yeah, yet he just paces around the room. Is like sweat beating off his forehead.

In the middle of the winter.

Has the handover the dump button. I'm pretty sure he's clenching, he's doing his key guls.

I mean, he's poor little shink.

That's the joke.

Going to kick things off already, and please participate this as well. Send us a text and you know, I ask your best joke in the morning for DOUBLEO No nine, No on nine. Okay. I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, you're an eight on a scale of ten. I still don't get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton excuse me very much.

I don't understand it.

I've heard the feedback from ABS. You tell one good joke.

She's saying that like you're not a very good little She's saying that you're not a very good listener. And he says, I don't know why she wants me to urinate on a skeleton.

But she said he was eight out of ten.

She said, you're an eight on a scale of ten. But I interpreted that as she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

I don't understand that.

Oh my god, are you serious?

I don't I don't anyway explain it to me in the song okay, and my next miss hearing yeah essentially was the bottom line.

Yeah, So thank you Abby, thank you for man's playing that you want to be a good joke. And bear in mind, I'm in charge of the buttons.

Okay, ready, you're ready. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. The woman walks to the rear of the bus and she sits down and she's fuming, and she says to the man next to her that driver just insulted me. And the man says, you go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.

Babies. A monkey jeers were on this morning, aren't we. Jeez, we're on.

That's funny, Andrew, all right, that's what you got.

Come on, let's finish save this.

Okay. Why were there never any pregnant Barbies released? Why were there never any pregnant Barbie's release?

Because Ken comes in another box.

It? Oh my god, I have just one joke off because your jokes.

Are just for the sake of it. I don't get it. Can you explain yourself? Haven't the tables turn? Baby? I like this second. Getting back to the news room, Usually we have Tom Rennan here ready to do the sports rap. But I can't see him, which is an unusual. But we don't think he's coming at all.

Well, normally he burst through the door with about eight seconds before we're on air, but he's gone on a holidays.

I thought he got brutally fired. So, wow, the industry moves quick, doesn't it. You've just got to watch your backing radio.

You really, really do. You don't have to tell anyone more than me that you know.

True, he's not here, So I thought you know, I'll take the reins.

You're in charge. Finally, Okay, what do you want to start? Dog?

I'm still thinking about that little intro there. Well that's starts with the showdown boy, he saw that coming in for your board. Adelade's boort us fifty people one, twelve to sixty five forty seven point win to the Crows. Wow, wie and excuse me?

Does text Walker just keep getting better and better with age?

Well, at the age of he is now he's probably almost locked in an Australian guns He's first. Yes, that was a first Showdown medal and now he's still absolutely in the mix for his first Coleman medal, only trailing Charlie Kerner.

How many is Charlie in front of him?

Just a few?

There's a couple.

It's a great question, I.

Know, without notice too. And you're looking at me with daggers.

Yeah, Charlie was pegging away like Charlie had to leave about thirteen and all of a sudden Text went spang keeps seven should have kicked eight as well, which would have been a Showdown record.

Yeah, right?

Was it handed one off the ben keys a day? Call for it?

CAZy CAZy settle down, Keysy and put his shirt on. For God's sake?

Can you he's a good looking roaster Bankes he can absolutely take that to bed. The result in your eyes? I mean you reckon? You predicted this?

I did on Friday? Thank you? Just said you know, you can never ever in a showdown. It doesn't matter where you are on the ladder. You can come from anywhere.

Yeah, they changed.

They played for some real passion though the coroast didn't they It's not strange that I predicted it.

I told you I've.

Got special AFL predicting powers in my waters.

Who's going to win the flag?

Then at this point Collingwood Collingwood.

Okay, so the team the ladder. So your big giant prediction is that the team that's on top of the ladder right now is going to win the flag?

Yep, okay, how do you do it?

All right?

You do it?

Seven twenty three, the thirty first of July twenty twenty three.

I predicted Collingwood will win the Grand Final.

Say something bold like I reckon, I reckon gold Coast and make it run from it. That's super bold, will you asked me? Yeah, I'm the big talking points coming out of the game as well, in particular a head collision between Lockie Jones and the Lea Lear. Both boys look like they're worse for where when they hit the deck and he went home and had a little hia and we cleared to play again.

Yeah.

Right, it was very interesting, wasn't it.

It was interesting the medical stuff down there at Port coming under fire. Yeah, they are so, rightfully so Andrew Hay's going on a limb here, come on.

Then, Well, the follow up is that the AFL is going to keep on investigating and they're going to be in touch with Port over the next few days to monitor these boys concussion like symptoms to see if there's anything there. But obviously the memes are getting around and everyone's saying who was the doctor? All that sort of stuff. Mark Visher, though, has an unbelievably good reputation. Right, well, we can say, Okay, it's a big hit though, wasn't it.

Yeah, Oh my gosh, mid head collision, yeah ouch.

I've had a couple of those as well. Yeah, I do remember, I do having I do remember having one in particular. And these things were done a little bit different back in the day. Remember, one way I got knocked out midair, hit the deck, got up and kept on playing, and I reckon. By the time I staggered to the boundary line, was going the wrong way. When they straighten me up, became good, went back out, They kept on playing. We had a good game, we won,

Times, Yes, weren't they.

Yes, I blame the concussion on too many drinks.

No side effects for you, though, which is good, isn't It'd be a tipster this weekend, just gone with the footy o my ridiculous Gold Coast getting over Brisbane. Who saw that coming?

It's just ridiculous. I mean, oh, pretty much. There was only a handful of games where the favorite actually won. So Collingwood went down, Geelong went down, the Bulldogs went down. These were all the favorites the lines. The Swan's won, they were the favorites in that game. Obviously the Crows won, they went the favorites. The Saints beat the Hawks, they were the favorites. And then the Melbourne got the job. But the Kangaroos went down to the Eagles. It's like,

How was there a winner in that game?

Which is ridiculous?

Okay, we need to talk about another sport please.

Yeah, let's talk about the cricket. How much have we brought that up? Quite seriously though, Australian for a chance to win this thing. So you're telling me there's a chance. That's bloody dead, right I am. Yeah. Australia none for one hundred and thirty five, need two forty nine runs to win war to fifty eight, Usman sixty nine not out. One day to play and it's not going to rain.

I tell you who should win the Ashes for winging? And that's the poems, haven't they been carrying on? And I just want to win this Test match just to put a full stop on the fact that we are the better side.

I just love how even if Australia does win the series, in England's mind they won the series five zip.

Oh it's the rain. No, it's not.

We're better than you, better at cricket on your home deck. Cop that all right, let's talk some nepor thank you very much.

Three games yeah.

Yeah, three games the Australians, the Diamonds are won by four thousand goals each and every game. It's going to get tougher from here on in though. So they've played the likes of Fiji and Tonga and et cetera, et cetera, so we're always going to win those. But it's going to get real when we face up against you know, the likes of New Zealand traditional rivals.

Yeah, tong At a bit of a powerhouse in neborl.

The one court on one tongue in court.

Yeah, I just got I got one question to ask you as well.

No, don't be smarty pants.

No, no, just in terms of scheduling the Netball World Cup at the same time as the Fever Women's Worker, I.

Will never have you say a bad word against Netball Australia.

And it wasn't their idea, no, exactly.

Very interesting. Australia the red hot favorites.

It's pretty tight. England also very very strong, and Jamaica as well.

Jamaica have got half the Thunderbirds in their side.

Yeah, Sterling et cetera. Tania Wilson, So yeah, it's going to be a fascinating tournament. I don't know that we've got our strongest side over there. I'm just going to say that right now.

There you go, it's been said that a nice little bit of netball chat from you. Thank you very much.

You're welcome. Matilda's play tonight too.

Yes against Canada, Good luck against that. The Olympic Champs, boy oh boy wowie.

The great deals and cheky getaways? What if dot com has just the place winter Hardaway's great? But bring on springs, jump on the water? If app to book hotels, apartments, holiday rentals and more, what.

If it's Aussie for travel? Yes, we have two grand finalists.

Unbelievable stuff. And would you believe they're brothers?

I know, I mean water handbailing family. Michael and Lincoln from Highgates Primary are going to be battling out support Ada VT. We have thirteenth of August. Just before the start of that game on a Sunday.

I genuinely cannot wait for the whole of Adelaide to see these boys go head to head. They are ridiculously talented.

Yeah, so I'm not sure like we saw some really really good kids, yeah with all the schools that we saw. Yeah, but these kids. At one stage, I was watching these guys batle like out and I couldn't even see the ball was going that quick and you're like, is it bouncing or not?

It was, and it's so low to the ground. Wasn't grubs, Let's be clear about that.

Oh my gosh. There were some controversial which was so much so that when we got to the five stage we required two Castanovas per game as double umpires.

Some people cutting up real rough about grubs, weren't they?

And we tried at the start of the tournament. This was happening on Saturday. We really try to knuckle down and say, look, there is a dissent rule. Yes, but even the most lovely of kids sometimes I mean passion, your heart rates are, but it all gets in the way and sometimes just come to an ugly point.

It's all consuming, isn't it. But what I love about this there's one thousand dollars for the winner, five hundred dollars to the runner up. That cash is staying in one family. That's good, That's amazing.

What an absolute handbulling fraternity.

That family is absolutely the pedigree.

The pedigree. Big thanks to McGain as well for putting it all together and again real estate massive supporters of local making difference all over essays selling it home. Then trust me again.

Thirteenth A big shout out to Gussie, to our boy Guss, who was the face and the voice of the handball competition. He came first, he got knocked out just before the finals and he was so upset.

Bless his heart. But he's going to be Wednesday Weather kids.

So hey, don't you worry as well. Gussy's going to come back bigger and better and stronger next year.

Yeah. Yeah, Gussy's going to have so much fortitude now after this defeat, he'll come back and just go back.

And if you've seen happy Gilmour as well, this particular scene where he doesn't quite make the hockey side, yeah that's Gussy right now.

That is Gussy.

He's in training.

I guess reeking story this town is so we're seeing is huge.

Seven shows.

Well, if you could stay awake until eleven thirty last night and endure Darryl Summers's bizarre announcement of the gold Logi, google it, you would know that Sonya Krueger is your gold Logi winner. So the whole host of multiple Channel seven Shows appeared a little bit overwhelmed as she took to the stage to accept her first LOGI. She thanked all the people on the show she currently hosts, including

Hamish and I have the same agent, Mark Clemens. He's here tonight and I said to him, I said, Mark, who did you vote for? Put him on the spot, and he was like, well, Sonya, I think people are a little over Hamish, and I went, no, Mark, surely not no.

He he's the.

Odds on favorite to win, and he would no. And frankly, I'm secretly hoping he'll leave the agency so I can concentrate all of my efforts on you, Sonya.

I'm just kidding. Obviously, Mark did not say that.

I'm paraphrasing Mark's word.

They flashed to Zoe Foster Blake, who is Hamish's wife, and she looked very unimpressed at the joke. Ah I was a red carpet for mission impossible once and Sonya was hosting from there. I have never ever seen someone's tresses being attended to so often, and her makeup but it was like every three minutes they were just in there, like fixing her hair, doing her makeup was extraordinary. Would be exhausting.

Yeah, that would be tough. I imagine that's tough getting all the makeup done. So the campaign as well on your sign That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah. Does that mean that there finally is Channel nine going to stop campaigning for Tracy Grimshaw? How that she doesn't work there anymore?

I think?

So what an effort that was over the years.

Oh my goodness. Now Sampang delivered an epic opening monologue, so a bit of a borderline sub joke that he probably could have left out of it, but apart from that, he got universal praise for his efforts. Haven't listened to his gear? Him talking about the people that they asked to host it before him.

No, that I was not Channel seven's first choice to host that.

So let's go through the list of people Channel.

Seven asked that. So Hamish Blake said, no, thank you, Hamish, I really appreciate it.

Made some of us have a mortgage.

It's very good. Right on through. MGM Boy said yes, yes, I think the lawyer said.

No, no, it's very good.

He was very good.

He must have. I thought like he was a little bit nervous at the start, as you would be. The whole eyes of Australia are on you, plus all your peers in a live audience would be terrifying.

He's a gun. It's seriously and obviously it's going to sound like I'm just batting for Channel seven here, but the front path he is an absolute He's a giant on there.

Yeah, it's fantastic Mastership one best reality program. Well done, and they paid tribute to Jockzonfrelow.

And as I stand here tonight, it's still hard to believe that my met and our amazing judge job is no longer with us. So big man, this is one hundred percent.

They are the kids.

It's you tonight.

We are going to celebrate job style.

Please everybody give it.

Up for jobs, doesn't it? And if you want to see a really good example of women hating on other women, check out so Less Barber's pre logis post so she put a photo of her in spanks and said, I spent three hundred dollars on them. She's lost a lot

Can I read some of the comments?

They're awful? Someone said, zempic is a hell of a drug all the time, a little more obsessed with looking skinny, and like everyone you used to make fun of, have you been trying to lose weight? Or you're smaller and smaller every time I see photos of you? And then someone like people started to bite back. Then, oh my god, you women in the comments are the reason where the worst to each other. It's there were seven hundred comments, and it's just depressing to read them.

To be honest, ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?

Can't we all just be happy for one another, like everyone's on their own journey, relaxed.

How good social media?

So good?

Isn't it good for feedback?

Isn't it not a hot bit of hate at all?

Imagine losing weight and becoming healthy and healthy and getting smashed for it.

Yeah, it's amazing stuff, isn't it. Anyway, Logi's big night had by all.

There you go? What about this? Subway Restaurant and Subway in America have announced that one lucky customer who legally changes their first name to Subway will be rewarded with free Deli Hero subs for life.

No, no one's doing that.

Finally, a competition we can all get around goes for a few days August first to August fourth. Winning contestant just needs to regret the name to change the name. If randomly selected. The company said it will reimburse the winner for legal and processing costs connected with the same

At least they didn't make it, you know, change your name to two A melt or something like, Hello Tuna Melt speaking, Hello Teriarchy jigged, Hello.

Hello Meatball speaks. Is that mister Meatball? Sure? Is that going to help you.

Do you want to be it'll cost you extra.

Yeah, bitter avocado, I've got a sinking thirteen twenty fourteen, get involved. When have you changed or nearly changed your name? I know it's a niche. I know it's a niche.

So niche. No one's going to call in and say I changed my name.

I reckon. There's people that have been close to changing their name, and I've almost looked up the process. Yeah, because so for example, in my school system, and don't ask me why, but the name Jed, it was like that was a that was a term of insult, Like I get like a Karen. Yeah, like that guy is such a Jed. Really, So you've got Jed and you've also got Nigel. I know a couple of Nogels as well. Yeah, great, guys.

If you were if you're a Karen or a Nigel, you'd probably look at it.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Jed in our sort of school system for whatever reason, and we used to joke about it and be like, oh jeez, it's tough if your name's Jed. Yeah, there's a lot of prominent Jed's.

Yeah there is, yeah, Jed mcintee.

Yeah, yeah, exactly I did.

I mean reasons known only to you. Why that was insulting to be called Jed.

I don't even know why. It just was okay you were I mean you changed your name originally.

Yeah, but only because I got Yeah. I saw I was Williams and then got married became a Bluish.

But he didn't change it back.

No, I didn't for a long time, actually, until I got married, because I didn't want to have a different surname to Taylor, so I wanted I didn't want to have a different surname to my child. That just seems wrong.

I thought you made name was Hooker. Shout out to the hookers out there. LJ. Hooker, You're the bear.

Something wrong with you? Thirteen, twenty four ten. No one's going to call I can promise you that, so I have a think about what you want to do to fill the space in the next three or four minutes. No one's going to call in and say I change my name.

It's almost turning into like a Battle of the Banger's type. Competitive situation proved wrong. Give us a call thirty twenty fourteen.

We will put you in the running for the Winter Weekend Escapes if you have changed your name, but I highly doubt it.

If you've changed name, or you're close and you even looked up the process, that's the reason and the rules.

Now.

No, no, because if you're really close to changing your name, you're right on the edge.

Yeah, just online one. I think we've got a call from Tuna Melt.

Tuna Melt from Morson Lakes. Let's go to Melinda in the Adelaide. Here was good morning, Melinda, good.

Morning, good morning. Have you changed name?

No, but my grandfather did, and it affected do I'm married.

What do you mean?

Well, I didn't know he was my grandfather because my dad was adopted. Yeah, but when I was a teenager, I found out my dad's from the certificate had a man named Buck Stevens of his father which my grandmother had married and then remarried. But as an adult I found out later that he actually changed his name from Frederick Stackler to Buck Stephens.

Right, Okay.

The weird part was is I had married a man who was from a German family, the Stecklers. Yeah, and then when we looked at the family tree, Frederick Stackler was from a man who had immigrated from Germany and when they immigrated over they changed it from Steckler in spelling to Stackler And in fact I married.

My cousin of course.

But yeah, I found out that like of seven brothers, one of them went to America, and you know, his grandson changed his name and I'm his granddaughter. And then I came to Australia and married a man whose family from Germany with.

The same he still married Melinda.

Twenty three years.

Yeah. Wow, Okay, have.

You ever resided in Tasmania.

Probably not do some real work on ancestry dot com too, Melida.

No, my family and my and my mother in law. She was very excited. She was so happy that he married somebody with Guman line. Well yeah, so yeah, change your name. You should probably let people know why and who and your family is where they get married.

Well, Melinda, we're going to send you, well, we're going to put you in the running for the winter weekend Eskate with your cousin because.

Very good stuff. Oh goodness me, roads of dangerous. If you can't remember last time you had your break check, it's been too long. Don't wait for one three hundred auto masters today. So there you go. For different reasons sometimes people change their names.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, you surprised and get harder on the has mainything. No, you're rolling your eyther for it.

Well, mate, I saw it coming from eight hundred meters away.

Oh, I've been saying this forever. Now it's official. Keep on watching the skies.

It's happened.

Well, it's what a big week it's been for the alien watches out there?

Yeah.

Confirmed. Last week, UFO whistleblower David Gruche told Congress the US government has uncovered extraterrestrial bodies in spaceships and crash heights, and the Internet responded, I'd say pretty accordingly. I don't think we've responded hard enough on this. It's huge. Yeah. Are we just so desensitized with all this stuff now? Yeah?

I don't know. I think if you're anything like me, I don't like thinking about what's out there because it scares me. Because I don't want to be invaded as a planet and as a species.

You don't want to be probe I don't want to.

After the weekend I've had.

Maybe all the aliens are really nice, may bring you love, or maybe they take you away into little spaceships and they probe your probe. Nobody no one on Mondays.

And then they do that thing where they make you forget that you've been probed.

Yeah, and then you wake up and you're like Jesus bums a bit so the aliens there, and you're like, what happened last night? He just shrucks his shoulders. He's like, nothing, mate, nothing happened. Next question, bring you love?

Wow, that's a special.

Kind of love's just come out of nowhere. Makes you think that, doesn't that When you look around us since society, maybe some of the celebrities as well, Are there any aliens amongst us? Do you reckon?

I don't know, I don't know. What do you think?

I reckon? That probably is I've got I've been thinking about this for a while. I've got a top three for you. I reckon people who classified as humans who are probably in fact aliens.

Right, but they look like humans, They look like.

Humans, and they have human characteristics.

But you think they're from Mars.

I think they might be in disguise and they're aliens stressed up as humans.

Yeah, or Saturn or Pluto or maybe who knows or the other one that works in with being probed.

Yeah, Urutif it's a planet, it's a planet. A number one Steve Smith. Steve Smith's got some strains movements, doesn't he some strange amounnerisms the way he carries himself, And don't worry. They could be really really good, like these elite humans. It maybe they're too good for their own selves. And that's where you go, Well, maybe the guy's just an alien. But Steve Smith just sort of moves around a bit differently.

You've scored so many runs that you're from out of space.

Just his habits in between in between shots as well, just how OCD is with things. Steve Smith absolutely could be one. Kanye West, He's definitely an alien. That's alien talk.

He could be one just because he gives zero fs about anything ever, you know what I mean, Like he just does what Kanne wants to do.

Yeah, maybe maybe that makes sense.

The other one for me is Peers Moore. He's an alien and he's been sent from another planet to piss off everyone. It's a giant experiment that the aliens are having and they're taking the absolute mickey out of us because they've sent us. Piers Morgan. I don't think people in England even like Peas Moore.

He's like the English cane corns, Like he deliberately just says things just to antagonize.

I'd rather listen to cane corns.

You got one, Yeah, I think Pete Davison, you know, the guy Saturday Night Live's a really unusual looking cat but also managers to snag the hottest women on the planet.

So if those other aliens that you talk about have got those little things that make you forget things, has Pete Davis has got some kind of special wand that he's waving in front of the best looking and the highest profile women's celebrities on the planets.

And the one goes, you think I'm hot?

You think I haven't look at me? How you know? I mean, statistically, it's not what these elite looking women would go for. But here we are, here we are.

I think he must be like women love funny men or funny aliens, right, So that just must blind women everywhere like, oh you're so funny, but come here, it's not me. It's normal.

That's how it works. Have you got one as well? A textas through who do you think might be just an alien undercover? I fall double nine? No, my nine. Let's just expose them all.

I Bring you Love.

I had a lot of fun today, had all sorts of things from aliens, I bring you love, to all the goss from the logis. It's begun.

It's a big going around, wasn't there?

It was really good. I guess what?

By the way?

Yeah, gold, good stuff. Speech again, things that were different.

Maybe she wouldn't have had a Greg and Hamish Blake, the world's most popular bloke.

Oh my gosh, the most beautifu a person on the planet. It's like, what are you trying to do? You're trying to shoot a baby?

Yeah, And if you're getting a desk from Hamish's wife Zoey, then you know you've said something because she seems lovely.

Yeah. I guess what's back tomorrow?

Oh?

Is it? Song? Songs? No? I don't want to don't. I don't want to think about it because I start getting anxious already.

You're really good at it.

No, I'm not.

You're actually quite good at it.

No, because what I do is I know the lyrics to the songs, and I start singing them and then I literally hand you the name of the song on a plaster.

No, I appreciate that, and.

Then you pick up the bits on the platter and go, I'll win.

I see things a little bit differently for that version of events, but that's okay. It's a little bit competitive.

We don't have to agree on everything.

Yeah, all right, So make sure you catch up on the podcast.