Getting morning every day day, adelaides. Dating can be very, very tough, and the new age it's not just about meeting people in the flesh. I mean most people these days meet through online apps. Am I right, news reader Abby and also produces.
Really I mean, I don't know, but apparently that's what happened.
Yeah, you do, you're lying.
We get some solid feedback from these two dating dating apps suck. Next minute, I'm off the dating apps. Next minute, I'm back on the dating app. Back on.
There's all sorts of different dating apps as well, from what's the classy one.
Raya, No, that's the famous ones you gotta be real special.
Through to Tinder, which is for the genuine dirty birds. Have you got a blue ticket on Tinder? I've got a brown tick. That's kind of sound. Story about that, and I had no intention of doing that. So here's the thing. First impressions online just as important as in the flesh. A recent survey of single people revealed the worst messages to send a potential match hit us, please first impressions. Three quarters of respondents admitted that they lost
the interest in someone who messaged too much. Nothing's changed over the journey. There sixty three percent, which they could skip the virtual conversation me in person right away. Sexually suggestive messages were also extremely off putting, Contrary to a pickup artist might claim slinging cheesy one line is a sure fire way to stay solo. That's what they're saying.
Can I drill down on the sexual one? Apparently these days it goes from not to one hundred real quick. Really oh yeah messages. So it goes from hey, how are you I like your pick? Da da dada?
Into do you want me to send a DP?
Yah?
Yeah, if you're lucky.
Usually it's unsolicited, Yeah, all sorts of different things. I'm going to give you the top five worst messages to send someone on a dating outrating from fourth from fifth to the worst. But I will give you some honorable mentions on the list. That number nineteen was you up? Number thirteen three letters with a question mark DTF whatever that means? Am I right? So you guys hungry down to feast? I could go some breakfast. Number eleven, You're so hot spelled h.
A W t O.
Number nine, hey at least five wis and number eight Before we get the top five, and this is my favorite. Four hwa r r four damn all right. Number five is without me, as in when you say you're going to take a shower without me? Oh, no, Number four? Do you like bad boys or girls?
Depending on the situation, bad boys, what you're going to do?
Number three? Couple of people use this, but hey, sexy, what's your number? Number two? Number two just the flat out egg plant emoji has said that plan emojing.
I really like egg plant though.
Eggs delicious really just very purple, Yeah, very purple, but very delicious.
Here's where you're waking up to Adelaide.
What's the news today?
Snooziness.
So much has happened over the last forty eight hours. Actually, let's go to Abby in the newsroom and find out what's pressing news.
Please, Well this one.
The amount of messages I received on Saturday morning was crazy, going can you give us any It shed some light on what's going on. So basically, there was a massive fire in the building that contains the iconic and historic Oxford Hotel in North Adelaide. Hazy, I'm looking at you. You've probably had a fit of damage.
There, looking at myself as well. The Oxford was the place when we turned up. So I got here in two thousand. The Oxford mixing me a little bit of Archer was a place that we'd go every single Saturday night looking for a soul mate.
Well, some bad news there.
Basically a man is going to be facing court today because he's charged with arson after a fire damaged the building that the Oxford Hotel is in. The damage bills anywhere between two to three million dollars.
Now some good news.
I know, it's not obviously a fire and it's horrible, but there's some good news.
Nobody was injured.
But also the actual pub and the facade of the hotel is okay. So it basically was accommodation behind the hotel which was damaged, right, But yeah, the flames were huge. There was O'Connell Street was shut down pretty much all day, so a lot of those businesses obviously lost out. You Saturday is usually pretty busy for them. But yeah, thirty seven year old man will face the Adelaide Magistrates Court today,
so we'll hear a little bit more about it. But yeah, the pretty horrible news for the Oxford, especially if it had been damaged.
That's outageous. I think I've told this throughout four jars, but I remember getting our football club sponsorship band from the Oxygen. He stole a bottle of Ozer all different.
I think of all the things for you to steal. Uzo grows the spirit on the planet.
You couldn't see. What we could see was the top. Did know what it was, So it's like a lucky drawer. He stole this bottle tilken bathrooms like.
Zo and then start it.
Yeah, do you know what's going to feel really good tomorrow? That hangover on a licorice flavored liqueur. I like lickrish, though I would have drunk it.
Yeah.
Anyway, we've had the moment of the games so far. And not all heroes win gold medals.
What not? All heroes a rip as well.
No, So basically the swimming at the arena was holded temporarily when a mysterious underwear clad figure stole the show. So the breaststroke, one of the swimmers lost their caps and so someone someone had to go and retrieve it from the middle of the pool, and so he was a volunteer pull. He stripped down to his very colorful budget smugglers. There were wolf whistles in the crowd in what can only be described as an epic dad bod.
So this man did this in front of.
A global TV audience, mind you, and so he's jumped in. There was a rousing applause. It was just it was the moment of the games.
For mine, this is this is every man's greatest fear that at the moment, at the moment you take your shirt off, everyone's going to give you stick.
Yeah.
Potentially the next step is it goes viral for you having a dad bod.
What I don't understand though, is that at the Games they have a lifeguard. So there is a lifeguard at the pool, and you think about it, these are the world's best swimmers and your job is to be a lifeguard.
But why didn't he go and jump in? I'm not sure, mate, Why does it? Why would it have to be down to this guy.
He's one and only call to action and he was in the jump dad.
But also do what everyone else does when feeling a little bit self conscious about it, but.
Keep your t shirt on. It's okay.
Imagine if he Imagine if he wrapped a towel around him and just gone and then like taking it off just as he jumped in. So anyway, he's become a bit of a cult hero in the same vein as can you remember Eric Musson, Bambi.
Eric Eric the Hill? Yes, I think he's still trying to finish right now. Do you know what the big giveaway for Eric the Hill was he lined up with the with his swimmers, which looked perfectly fine, but he had the drawstring on the outside. Do you think about it? When it was last time a professional swimmer, I had the drawstring hanging on the outside.
That's so true. Goodness, way, I.
Wonder what Eric the Hill's doing right now. I'm not sure, he said, And I'm so sure of this. He said that his goal for the next Olympics two thousand and four was to win an Olympic medal. He's actually come to fruition.
He's now coaching queare yes dead set serious?
A week after Sydney, the President received me and said he was going to build pools for the future swimmers.
I am a coach of his.
What not to do?
Don't do what Eric did.
Yeah, we all had someone like that at school though, who's just genuinely couldn't swim and their parents are like, yes, you have to swim at the swimming cart.
That was me kid from the country. I couldn't swim. There was a bloke from Banana in Queensland from my school who's even worse. He couldn't dive, so he had to jump in and then push off the name of Adam Gunthorpe. Couldn't dive. I had to go in feet first and then push off. Unbelievable.
That's very UnAustralian to live here and not be able to dive.
Into a pool.
And that guy changed his name now Ian Thorpe.
I still hold my nose when I go underwater. Yeah, I still hold my nose. You'll be on the kneeboard and you probably wouldn't fall off, but you go, oh, I think that'll fall off, so you hold your nose.
I'm a child.
A bunch of athletes here, what it's all about. Go Australia, just sitting pretty on top of the metal board.
After two days.
Two days, expect that to stay like that? Oh yeah, particularly with the athletic Yeah.
Particularly when we get into the running.
Ah, we love the tillies. Gosh, I nearly pood the bed, really nearly soiled the bed hard, didn't they?
Five all it was until the nine eight minutes.
And then mum, just before they poved the bed, Mum got them out, rush them to the toilet just in time. I think it was mid air. Here's one for it which surprised me. Have you ever thought and maybe you haven't, but I'm going to tell you anyway of the amount of money athletes earned from their country for winning a medal at the Games, Because there's no prize money from the Olympics itself, it's up to the country, right, Okay, would you expect Australia to award their athletes heaps of money?
I don't think we do, but I do think like the renumeration comes in the form of sponsorship, et cetera.
Post Games.
So Australia bronze medal ten thousand dollars, you'll get silver medal fifteen thousand, and of gold just twenty thousand dollars. That seems that rageous, doesn't really. I mean, how much money would you put on a gold medal? Yeah, but it varies from country to country. Okay, you would think in the US you'd make heaps of money, but not much more than Australia bronze fifteen thousand, silver twenty two thousand, five hundred and gold thirty seven thousand, five hundred dollars.
That's me rageous, isn't it?
When you compare that to say, you know, soccer players you take home nine hundred thousand dollars a week.
That seems crazy.
I'll say this much, lebron James and Steph Curry. They ain't there for the money, that's for sure. France Bronze sixteen and a half, silver twenty seven and a half and gold seventy one thousand dollars. Spain it's getting up there now. Bronze thirty two thousand, nine hundred, silver fifty two thousand, six hundred and gold one hundred and two thousand, nine hundred dollars.
Okay, that seems better.
That seems better. What about this though, Singapore? You've been a bronze medal hundred eighty four thousand dollars. That's not bad. Silver three hundred and sixty eight thousand dollars in gold seven hundred and thirty seven thousand dollars.
Whoa out of interest?
Where Singapore sitting on the metal talley at the moment.
I'm not sure they've registered medal yet. But that's okay if they do. Whoever wins that medal is going to absolutely just soak in some cash. Here's an instrument. Norway Bronze, silver, gold, zero pay their athletes. What's for the pride?
Baby, It doesn't matter.
That's not anyway one hundred percent. That's like, yeah, hot, you don't need it. You're fine. You have a million follows on Instagram at o. Here's my favorite though, kazikh Stan. If you win a bronze medal, you get yourself a one room apartment.
Nice?
Yeah, absolutely, silver, you get yourself a two room apartment.
Woll get you?
I like sets and I like a two room apartment.
Hey, good's that?
And for a gold medal you get yourself a three room apartment.
Wow, this.
Is you are and.
Probably a Kazakhstan athlete just taking us for a bit of a tour of his recent apartment. Very nice, I'll tell you this as well. Yell Dos Smetof in the men's sixty kilo Judo won a gold medal the other day. Very nice, indeed, oh my goodness. And here was his post fight interview straight after winning a gold medal, King in the Castle, King in the Castle, I have a chill. Congratulations. Now that's a joke. That's a job, job, a terrible job.
She is.
We are led so fearlessly, courageously by news read aby, good morning.
It's very aggressive.
That's how passionate I feel about you in this space.
Thank you so much, good on you so much.
So we're gonna let you kick us off this morning.
I never start.
So that's exciting because every time we assemble, and sometimes it's weeks out yet who's got the best joke? And you say, well, it's me, so I'll go last.
True are usually trumpy too.
And now are you saying bold he's doing the first leg?
Yeah, correct, let's bolt off and do this. Okay. So there was a man and a woman.
They didn't know each other, and they were flying for work. Anyway, they get to the hotel and they both check in and unfortunately there's been a stuff up and they're both in the same room. They're on bunk beds, and they go, okay, look, it's fine, not ideal. We're only here for one night, so it's okay. So he's on the top bunk, she's on the bottom. Halfway through the night, he says, oh, excuse me, excuse me, would you mind grubbing a blanket for me? She goes, Oh, I've got a better idea.
How about we pretend that we're married, and he thinks, oh, I'm seeing someone, but you know, this could be a bit of farm like we'll never see her again. That's fine. So she then turns around and says to him, get your own damn blanket then, which he replies by letting one rip.
No, I don't get they're pre getting to be married.
Now, don't actually pass gas in a relationship, not me, not.
Me shooting out that.
We're not even in a relationship with you, and we know that that's.
A lot you don't win in front of you.
Girl.
He hasn't, not that I know of it.
I've nearly popped a couple of times, don't worry about that. And I just made the time.
There was that one time that producer EM and I were standing outside of the toilets when you went in and you were a little vocal already on the phone, and yeah, that was a.
Different situation, but the walls, the walls rocking that day. All right, guys, we'll boot up to you. I'll go next to Okay, sure, now, ladies while we are talking about things a little bit blue. I'm not saying that I'm attractive, but what I will say is when I take my clothes off in the bathroom, I turned the shower on.
Yeah, that was.
Was quite joke. It was good.
Okay, you got all right. There were two hunters in the woods. One of them collapses. His eyes were glazed and he was horribly power and he wasn't moving. So the other man, but, oh my god, what do I do? So he whips out his phone and he calls triple zero and the dispatch lady says, okay, do not panic first. What we have to do is make sure that he's dead. And the hunter goes okay, and then everything goes silent, and then there's a shotgun bang.
And he gets back on the phone.
He goes, now, what's a bit?
Do you know what communication is vital in these situations because there's miscommunication or lack of understanding with communications death.
Do you think Jerney understands what a joke is? Is that the lack of communication?
Oh wow, shotgun bang? You in a minute?
That's a challenge to there to someone else double nine one nine nine or nine Joe it's a few times this morning we've been talking about how we could get ourselves involved in the games without actually having to compete over in Paris, because very much passed our prime athletically.
Oh that's okay, you speak for yourself, mate, I'm still getting out there and having a crack at last.
On the weekends.
You're having a crack. But you hobbled in this morning, old limpy McGee with that bung ankle.
Now, okay, eyes.
Recovered though, it's my eyes. Bet your eyes completely recovered.
But I fell over myself at Neple. So now I've got a fat ankle.
Now you got a burst blood vessel in your ankle.
Yeah, did you fall over at Evil because your eye was still a bit?
Mate?
No, my eyes cleared up. We've just established that.
So yeah, I was just reading if it was cleared up on Saturday, because when you left Friday it wasn't.
Yeah.
Okay, all right, Well, thank you for my full medical history. But this Monday morning, I really appreciate you.
The point of the story is we're looking for opportunities to immerse ourselves in the game's vibes without actually competing. So what we decided to come up with Yeah, that's right, Jodi and Hazy's average Games. This week we're going to go head to head in average task. We need your health to vote on who wins and becomes the gold medalist for our average games.
I love this for us because, let's face it, I'm not going to be Jess Fox. You're not going to be you know, Carl Chalmers, So let's be good at being average.
Love this four average games.
It's one of Adelaide's biggest rivalries.
Oh boy, what are.
You full of?
Hamstring?
Oning Andrew runs with his shirt of haze.
We just want to take it one day at a time. We're not looking too far ahead, nor are we looking too far in the past. So it's all about control and the controllables and trusting the process.
Jodi has one million kids. Boddie like a woman who has done so many chores that she's nearly broken.
But now is the opportunity to put all those gills to go do two athletes fierce rivals.
There we go, that's the secret idea.
Too, will put everything on the line to bring home the gold.
Oh, there you go. We need to crown of gold medalists. Yeah, is he going to be Jody is going to be hazy. Three tasks and unfortunately for you, jokes making girls isn't one of them, otherwise you'd be gold medal.
No, okay, So I'm going to run you through the task that we have to complete to become the average Games champion.
You're ready for this. The first one ironing a shirt?
Oh boy, you you know my weakness.
Well, I think I've got you covered on this one, because, let's be honest, the poor ladies at Channel seven have to do it for you.
So when was the last time you owned a shirt?
I've tried to iron quite really, you know how embarrassing it is. And this happens every single time I iron my own shirt. And then I go and was like, oh, you want to throw an iron on that thing? And I'll oh, yeah, I didn't have time, but in my head I'm like I did, and I left thinking it was brilliant.
Yeah exactly.
And also Suzanne wasn't available, So how did you do it myself? She busy taking care of will Goodings, you know what I mean, in his top shelf.
So there's any spare time after that, I'll jump in there.
But where do you sit in the tear system at Channel seventy in terms of ironing shirts.
Yeah, I think I'm top six. I think it might come six. Bear in mind it's a category of six.
Okay.
The second category will be making a coffee on a barista magic.
I think I know who's got you covered in this one.
You should excel in this space because you are the head barister at the saurday have a last stayer.
Finally, this me and my chances are really shine and no chat, no awkward chit chat is required.
Well, if you were to compete in an awkward chit chat, you too would be a gold medalist. And the third category will be putting a quilt cover on a quilt?
Is that the hardest domestic dur of all time?
That is almost impossible? I know, I know, mates, they got lost for weeks to weeks.
Yeah, like where's Benny? Is he stuck in his quilt again?
And we're like, oh no, he didn't try and put a quik cover on Diddy? Oh no, no, Danny, come back to us.
What about when you try and find the corner of the quilt in the actual quilt cover, that's where you get lost.
Like fishing around embarrassing.
That's where you get lost.
Okay, they are our three tasks.
The videos will be posted on our instapage at Jody and Hazy, and by Friday we are going to have a winner to crown.
There you go, Jody and Hazesy's average games first video is going to go up tomorrow at Jody and Hazy