Rating AWFUL Pick Up Lines With Joel Creasey

We got gets you through the morning every day Adelaides.

He's one of Australia's the funniest stand up comedians.

People love to give you social media feedback being like, oh Joel Creasy is gay, but he doesn't have to keep shoving it down our throats.

Bringing his fifteenth solo show to Gluttening this.

March, I had somebody allowed a car window at me.

Wuly off Ter. I was like old school. I kind of like her, like the man.

Who's somehow never had a bad hair day and serves back.

To back looks.

So we mentioned he's recently engaged Anyone Adelaides Number one drive show. Ricky leads him and Joel, it's Joel Creasy.

Oh my very goodness, keeping firm your hair. It's on point. Oh, thank you very much.

It's a it's an engineering masterpiece his hair, Thank you, and it's going out like the tide. I have two wonderful doctors, doctor Ashley and doctor Martin working around the clock holding onto every last piece for me.

And for the uninitiated. What product are you using?

I use, I think if asking, because Ricky and Tim would never I use a bit of wax and then a bit of hairspray. I like to go like the Julie Bishop sort of like you know, we've got the same sort of haircut with both Earth girls.

So you know, it's like a helmet.

It's like a stack that listening because you could take them.

Actually in Martin character that you speak asking for a friend.

Yeah, what sort of rates are we talking about? You know, I don't go I did go there. You can just go to a dermatologist and they will do it for you. Yeah, I can give you the whole compounded.

Is this an asteroide?

You're talking fastman, Oxiden mixed compounded. I get it done one pillar day. There you go.

I'm very open about it. Most guys I know are on it.

Really what yes.

Absolutely to think isenty of people that are women.

Most of you blokes are popping a pillar day to keep your hair.

Oh at least one. Yeah, for sure. It's festival time. I think I'm doing like a triple banger at the moment.

Well it looks magnificent.

Thank you, and I'm here. I'm here as your whipping boy. Yes, anything you needed to do, I can you know, like we can take I can take down the competition for you.

I can slack them off. I can do whatever you need. I might take you up. I saw some of their buses going around blame.

We actually liked the opposition at the moment. Very nice media space we have. We had International Women's Day. We got all the women at once from all the four different stations on together.

Oh that's so nice and a show. I always like to have it. You get carrying Tommy and Will and Woody. But I'm actually really good friends with them in your life, but I love to smash them.

Joel.

This morning, we're talking about this viral little thing went over in the state. It's about it's a pilot's trying to pick up a passenger. And we did say classic Polot behavior. That's a hot that is classic.

Pole something about the uniform.

You know, I'm an.

Aby actual Do you know what that is. No, that's someone that's really into aviation. That's like a nickname. Like I love planes. Yeah, yeah, Like when I go to the airport, I don't go to the lounge. I sit by the window and look at all the different plans coming in.

Hates it.

Do you ever have you ever as a person parked near the airport at a place where you can mark and watch the plane's.

Land and to do that with my dad. I love it.

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

It really is.

The South Carolina woman had a message on a napkin that said, I've seen the whole world and you are the most beautiful in it.

So he's written that on the nap can, handed it to her without saying a word, no phone numbers exchanged or anything like that, and then she's promptly posted it on the internet.

Yes.

The follow up is that she said that I didn't mean for this sort of attention to erupt from it, and that there's a lot of negative backlash in terms of the pilot was probably trying to do something untoward. Maybe he was looking at a future life partner. Who knows who's to say, but we started talking about pickup have picked up lines ever actually worked?

I don't think they have picked each.

Other up these days.

Apps apps, well, okay, prior to meeting your lovely fiance, what apps.

Were you on?

I definitely had Grinder back in the day, you know, because you know, you could thank the gates by the way for the apps. We were the you know, we were we brought you you know, the apps. Grinder was one of the first, and then you know, your tinders and stuff came along. The lesbians have the bunning Stare okater app. But we brought ground for everybody to gaze. Yeah really, of course, of course we sort of fast tracked way to hook up.

So yeah, but yeah, before that, I guess the.

Bar and okay, and have you ever been picked up? Have you ever been hit on?

No, although I did get cruised at the Kylie Mino concert. What's cruise is when someone wants to hook up with you there on the spot. And I was with my manager and we was at rod Laver Arena in Melbourne and we quickly read out to get some drinks and I went into the bathroom and this like quite good looking guy was kind of going to me like like wink wink, let's go back to the cubicle.

And hook me me.

And I'm normally with my fiance who's super hot and people just assume I'm Jack my fiancees aunt, so I get no attention. He was like fully like I considered it. I thought, what a story to tell Jody and Hazy on a Wednesday morning.

Your eyes just have content. Everything is content right then I heard spitting around. Come on, I was like, sorry, bab.

What was the carlly content? By the way? Laughter, She said, you are good friends with Danny, aren't you.

Thank you for bringing that up. Miss I am, Miss I am. I went with I was there with Danny, which it was so much fun. They're the nicest family, yeah right, like Ron and Carol, Mum and Dad, Brendan the brother. They're all lovely. Yeah, look at me name dropping. I'll pick them all up after.

Look at you such a celebrity.

I mean we were name dropping you and your name dropping people that are.

At such a high level.

Did you see the vision of Joel?

He went to the basketball Melbourne United game over there with Danny and sitting in the seats, and then.

Matthew della a dover fell over into his lab.

Really fell into my lap. And then I didn't know what to say, so I said, like, I just panicked. I went, oh, buy me dinner first, And he was so in the moment that he sort of got back up. But I've got that vision. I'm playing it around the clock.

Oh man, oh that is excellent.

Would you like to take some calls on this thirteen, twenty four ten pickup lines. Have you ever been as someone just been really bold and brazen and hit you up with a pickup line?

When does it actually worked? I'm just not convinced that it's ever worked. Like people talking about, oh it's a different generation, was it? Did it work back a few generations?

I don't think it's ever worked. I kind of respect it is.

You've got the guts to do it.

Very courageous, isn't it.

Yeah, it's got to be good. And that's the other thing.

If you've got a really good pickup line which you think is absolutely going to work each and every time, please let us know right now.

Yeah, see how you go?

Miss is Adelaide's favorite way to awake up?

Thanks?

She O T Jody and Hazy and Joel Crazy is here as well. As we're talking about this pickup line that's doing the rounds. An American pilot who wrote on a napkin gave to a passenger I've seen the whole world and you were the most beautiful in it.

The follow up is that she put it online and he basically got.

Smashed for it.

Yeah.

See, I can't work out online?

Why do people do that? And then oh my god, what about all the carnage and attention.

I didn't want this attention?

Yes, yeah, you one hundred percent did so thirteen twenty fourteen, we're doing this this morning.

You pick up lines. Let's go to Marco. I'm Marco.

Hello, Hey, going, No, you're smooth market you can tell heyboard marker.

It says here you have a great pickup line. So we'll be the judge of that.

Do you want to deliver Marco?

Al right?

Cool? So my pickup line is, hey, I don't use I don't use me, but for you, I put my crocs in sports mode.

That's how highly your regarded and regard it. I'll put my crocs in sports mode.

Wow. Yeah, well done. I'm guessing what's the success right there? Micaeh.

Look, I haven't tried it yet, but yeah, look I'm forty three, so maybe one day i'll try it. But yeah, I'm not really much in the pick up I'm not really much in the pickup lines myself.

No yet. You called it.

Just something funny I heard recently, and I thought it was like.

Yeah, yeah, and I think that's a great one. I take out for a spin.

Yeah, I think the problem is as well that and I can say there's someone who's about hit forty.

If you're forty, you wearing crocs.

You probably don't get to the stage where you get to even deliver a pickup lines.

Do you know what I mean?

It's on crocs.

Look, I don't like to yuck other people's yum. But I'm not a I'm not I'm not a Crocs man.

I did.

We did get some promotional Crocs and it worked, and the energy drink promotional Crocs. And sometimes when i'm walking our dog girlfriend that's her name, I'll wear the crocs late at night. But she's real judgmental, is she? Because she was raised by me, so she's like, really, you're wearing those?

Thank God?

It's dark thoughts on a man who just didn't drink the croc kool aid for quite a while. And then we met up after the holiday and lunch, and I was like, what do you do?

Crocs took a Superman guzzle the whole thing delicious.

With gibbets, with Gibberts.

Kids, gubbets. Let me have a look. I'm around today. I've got you're wearing.

The middle aged new balance they are.

There's special Nova gibbets now, which you can only get a hold of via the super and Overs at special events.

I didn't know that I started my career as a super and over and.

Perfect that's incredible.

Yes, yes, I was not very good. I had my pea plate, so I wasn't allowed to drive the car.

There you go, that's very nice.

You'd rather be a passenger because look, a friend of mine who also had the same name, who was also a casanova ba the day. He couldn't drive very much as well because he was always hungover.

Yeah, so I get that he should we go to Joe.

Yeah, let's see how we go?

Hi Joe, how are you?

I'm thank you?

Hi Joe.

So you got hit on, did you?

Yes, a former workplace.

Yes, And basically I wouldn't recommend this, but he said to me, honey, I've got the oysters.

If you want to bring around the champagne, and you didn't.

You didn't go for it, Joe, No, that's awful.

Also, the champagne costs more than the oysters.

Does anyone really like oysters? Hand on your heart? Do you like oysters?

Well, I've got to really be in the mood to impress someone.

Yeah, and how many oysters do you need to consume before you're really sexually enlightened? I know who's a belly for the voysters? Forty fifty oysters? So that's slushy, disgusting. There's just sort of circulating in your belly.

To have one. Again, No, thank you very much.

The following segment is the mature audiences only and may contain content, graphic language and nudity.

Not that you'll see it if easily offended. Well, you're about to find out just how easily.

Your father he's on the money. I said before, I say it again when Joe's brought this space to life, when she brought it to the planning meeting, she said, I just need an opportunity, even if it's three minutes every day, I can really be myself.

This is where you shine.

So that is incorrect. So normally you are pretty much in charge of the nauty. Normally it's you bringing so much content to the table. But on this occasion, I.

Have found this. What about this for a headline?

Hazy woman triggered after getting bitten by aunt on the vagina in her sleep. Now I know this story quite intimately because that woman who was triggered after getting bitten by an ant on the vagina in her sleep, was.

Me last night? Oh my god, I'm.

Not even kidding, So I reckon about two o'clock this morning, I felt a little like you know, that little aunt nip on the back of my leg, and I was like, oh, ow, anyway, back to sleep I go, And probably three minutes later I felt.

This nip again in a place where you don't want to feel in it.

It's gone for.

It was to remind me of that ad. Can you remember back.

In the day the aunt's pants?

What about that? That's something you didn't expect for a Wednesday night?

Is it?

No?

Absolutely?

Ns that got you in the year. We're just get to confirm what sort of ant was it? Was it like a green ant? Was it a bull ant? Was it Aunt Middleton? What are we talking about?

I couldn't very I believe it.

And then it just got me the thinking, I wonder who else has been bitten by an ant on the vagina?

Have you ever been bitten in the nether regions down there?

But if I ever been bitten by an ant on the vagina, I can't say a hat but very very risky from the ant.

Yeah, talk about Biden or Moore than you can.

Je very bold behavior from the ant, very bold. But it did get me thinking about ants.

And you're near the region, and like I can imagine if an ant did they ever venture down there, it would be like.

Oh my god, it would run back to the rest of the colony and be like, we've.

Found out home, guys, We've found a place where little people can reside with little buildings.

And you know what that brings me to Zoolander?

What is this? As you know.

How people have bucket lists, things that they want to do before they die. Well, I was flicking through Instagram the other night when I should have been sleeping, and I came across Tanner Hennessy post about her anti bucket list.

So these are things in life that you will never ever, ever, ever ever want to do.

This is very good and this is very Tanya Hennessy too, by the way, she's excellent.

Yes, she is very, very very good.

Yeah, starting strong, bungee jump.

You will never see me do that, have a one on one experience with a Goanna.

I will never go camping, I will never squeeze into those tiny caves or go Cave Davy.

And it got us thinking hazy about the top three things perhaps that we don't want to do before we die.

Would you let me to kick you off?

Yes? Please?

Okay?

Coming in at number three for me, I will never ever electively go on a tour to any world monument or landmark.

I cannot think of anything.

Worse than being trapped on a boat or a bus with tourists going, oh look, let's line up for two hours.

Do you look at the Dani dining me and Mona Lisa?

Thanks?

Thanks jokes.

Number two, I will never complete a triathlon? Why punish your body and your mind? I watched one on the weekend at Victor and a guy ran past me and I kid you not, and he was clutching his stomach, going, I'm cramping my stomach muscles and grip these people, every single one of them.

We're in so much pain. Water you doing? Why would you do it to yourself?

And the number one thing I will never ever ever do again, and that is study. Not at university, not at tafe. I've got no interest in any of it, actual stuff of nightmares.

For me, I would question how hard and even if did you study in the first place, because I didn't study degrees.

You know, or produce what have you got?

Okay, I'm kicking it off with I will never watch an episode of the Simpsons.

I'm not interested, not necessarily in this room. Isn't it to do.

A park run?

Not running for fun?

Ever in my life?

Is running as if she's in danger. There's a bear behind me.

That's it?

Three wear anything camo.

Yes, you want to be saying, don't you You want to.

Be saying it's not it.

I do have a bonus for suggest we do the Nutbush. It's the worst. I never want to do the Nutbush again.

We don't need to.

We know you want to play it.

We don't need.

To die left the back he left now, right near back.

In the worst part of any wedding, I'll go to top three for it.

Go to any sort of fashion event, Oh my god. Okay, so Joe's can we can we get some sort of contract where you can legally shoot me and you don't get in trouble if we have to go to some sort of fashion event, if there's any sort of runway, I don't care how long or short it is.

I can't do it. Okay, I can't do it.

Interesting from a former model, isn't it?

Who'd you model for it?

Said Harry? Since gone bus?

Go to a restaurant and eat cavia. No, I don't think anyone actually likes it?

What's that?

What is that?

Indeed, it's just because it's expensive and you think you're supposed to like it.

I can't even do the little fish eggs on the sushi. The way they pop in your mouth is disgusting.

It's like this little gross fishy explosion in your face. Thirdly, go camping.

Camp.

We've got a serious camper to my left here. You love it, producing Molly love it man being in nature?

Not for me, Not for me. I'm not showering. Yay, good stuff.

Okay, what do you want to have for dinner?

Oh?

I don't know, cold tin baked beans.

That's good, isn't it.

You're not doing it right if you're having baked beans.

Yeah, that is very up. That's a survival food. And when you're camping.

Set up though, of having to pull out the tend or the awnings, oh my god, just hey for a hotel.

Pert And finally, in his next run for Your World, Jude's no stage in my life. It's part of my anti bucket list. Will I be attending one of your mixed netball matches?

That's fair, her full fair, very very fair.

You said you would rather do something to your appendage than come along, and.

I stand by that. Are you okay?

What's going on?

Oh?

No, I'm fine.

I just had a bit of a rough afternoon, so I picked up the five year old from school and I'm sorry about that.

No, I know.

And it was one of those situations where she thought her friend got a birthday party invite and she didn't. Ah, if anything's going to pierce your soul, it's that, And she was like, but why does Lockie get to go to a birthday party? Because his friends in room dinner my friends too. She was so upset. And then anyway, Lockie's mum texts me and said, all good. It was a fake invite. So one of the kids was just.

Like, come to my party. But it wasn't real invite.

It wasn't really invited.

It wasn't invite.

So that's a horrible prank, isn't it.

But by then she was.

Fully triggered, so she'd had a meltdown and wouldn't put on her ballet outfit. So I'm trying in the back of my car in like thirty seven degrees yesterday to get her change, put all the leotard on, and jam on some tap shoes that were far too small. In the meantime, the car next to me, those people couldn't get into their car because I was blocking their space.

And then I turned around.

I was horrified. I was I'm so sorry, and they were so lovely.

Well good on them for I understanding the situation and not cracking out.

Yes, well done.

And then I got home and my thirteen year old had a teeth extract, one of her tooth teeth whatever taken out yesterday, and I was like, she didn't look well, feel well. So I was like, babe, I'll run your bath. So I started the bath and then I got distracted by making the past to bake for dinner, completely forgot the bath, walked into our en suite and it was flooding. My own little cyclone, Alfred, that's nice in my bathroom.

Like takes sure you fill up your bath, do not that much, not that much.

And then I was like, I'm just going to pack it in and go to bed and jumped in my bed and one of the kids and all dogs had wet the bed, so changing the sheets at ten o'clock night.

Good, thanks, gosh good?

What next?

I don't know. That's it, isn't it.

I think that's it all comes in three so fours or who knows.

If I find out that birthday invite was real, then we're in real trouble.

Stuff.

You've had it rough, all right, Yeah, you've had a very very rough Just just lay back and take it easy for a few minutes ago.

You know what this feels like if you ever went home from work.

I didn't need that Dick text you to say that.

Mate.

He's one of Australia's monniest comedians.

This will be the first time this speech is longer than the role that the person was in.

He's on your screens Monday night with his brand new show Sampang.

Tonight unmissable TV events.

I would love you to watch, but I understand all that stuff.

I say, Sam Bang.

Good morning, Hazy, good morning Joe. How are you you We're so good, Sam.

You didn't really get the brief to talk your show up.

Look, it's not really my style, but.

You know, yeah, I'm very like, I'm excited and I hope people watch. They also am very well aware that everyone, you know, people have got stuff on. So you know, I'm fifty to fifty percent up myself at this stage. So there we go. No, I can't I can't wait.

Sam.

I want to ask you about your experience with screen icon and legend Jack Thompson during the Actor Awards on the Gold Coast.

Tell everyone what you said to him? Please?

Well, I was backstage.

I was very very you know, honored to be part of like, you know, introducing Working Dog onto the stage. Working Dog is like Rob Sitch and Tommy Gleisner and Jane Kennedy and Santa Chlo is very a big honor.

And then so you're backstage.

And there's like just Jack Thompson's just sitting there, you know, like legend. Does he mean as much as you two as he does of me. It's like it's just Jack Thompson. It's just unbelievable.

He's iconic.

What's fascinating, Sam, is it's I don't want to embarrass you here, but you don't seem like the type of bloke that would easily get rattled.

And Jack Thompson's presence rattled you. Yeah, look, I don't know.

Yeah I was rattled, but I also hit it very well, hazy by just saying hello and then scurrying out of the room.

Do you know what I mean? I didn't.

It's hard to be rattled or to be you know, kind of nervous as long as you just don't stick around. Yeah, I mean, so I hit it, so he doesn't. He didn't know that I was, you know, in awe. I just said hello and then thought, hey, you know, I've got nothing else to say. This is you know, I'm not a selfie guy. I'm not going to ask him for anything. So I just got out of there and then yeah, so I wasn't my finest moment, but anyway, it's you know, hopefully I'll still come on the show one day.

It's always fifty fifty in that situation, whether you ask for a selfie when you really really desperately want one with these big stars, do you get hit up for selfies all the time?

Sam, Oh, Well, I know about all the time time. Actually, i'd look, I'll give you the real story. Jack asked me for one, so it's pretty.

Embarrassing, all right, say the show is Sampang tonight premier his Monday's seventeenth, the March at eight forty on ten and ten play He's going to hang up the phone.

What about these in years?

No, I'm not.

I had a good time. ID love to stick around.

Pay Sam