We got get Morning every day. Adelaides.
Welcome to the Jody and Hazy podcasts. Here are some of our best bits.
Hey, it's school holidays, Am I right? Andrew Hayes certainly is. And you and I have done what all good responsible parents do in the school holidays.
We've shipped our kids to the Gold.
Coast, have shipped the kids into state. Is everyone else doing that?
Everyone?
Because the kids in a different states different times.
We went with them, and then we went to the Netball Grand Final in Melbourne, and then I came home and grandma is taking over.
Thanks Colleen.
I differ. It's a different topic. But how bloody good at grandma.
Grandma's And you know, when you're a small girl, you don't know, but I do.
Yeah, I'm listening.
When you're a.
Small girl and you go on anywhere remotely tropical for a holiday, you have to, as an obligation by law, have your hair braided.
Yeah right, yeah. I thought it was purely an Indonesian thing.
No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, it's a Gold Coast thing too, So we're on the coast. The ten year old summer was like, I need to get mermaid braids. And I'm like, yeah, of course you do anything.
May do you want it or do you need it? I definitely need it.
It is in need, not a water or a need anyway.
So she jumped online and she attempted to book her Mermaid brand braids for Pacific Fair shopping center on the friday.
We thought that was all locked in.
So on the morning of the appointment, we go to get the details of said braiding and guess what she'd done.
She hadn't made an appointment, Andrew. She had booked sixty five dollars.
Worth of blue and pink Mermaid hair to be sent to our home in Adelaide.
This is a queen's lane thing. We can't be seeing you looking like Ariel dressed up.
Yeah. And also you want me to put them in. You want me to braid in the fake hair into yours.
It works, can you do that?
Well that's what she did. Yeah, she had it sent here.
And we're like, well, so, not only do you not have braids, but now when we land back in Adelaide, we've got sixty five dollars worth of Mermaid hair sitting on our front porch.
What are we going to do with it? Andrew?
That's good, isn't it really really good stuff? So good luck to all the parents out there, particularly the ones we've got braided kids.
She's a different level.
Yeah, yeah, have you seen it? Have you actually seen what.
It looks like?
No, I can picture it because I can picture of braids. You know what I'm picturing. I'm picturing a minute, a mini Venus and Serena Williams. They burst on the scene.
That's your daughter, I know. Oh, your daughter's gonna make a lot of money. Kids can be brutally honest, so brutal.
Oh my gosh, not with like the intent to be, but they just can be. Yeah, And they can be little psychos and the stuff that comes out of their mouth can be awful.
Yeah, and it really really pierces your heart.
What's happened?
So we were on holidays a couple of weeks ago, and it was a chance for me to take Henry to school each and every day for two weeks straight.
That's so lovely.
Yes. By midweek of.
The second week, Henry almost pulled me aside and said, Dad, I think I want mum to take to school now.
Oh my gosh.
It genuinely nearly flawed me oh no, And then without explanation. But then Kara did explain to me, she's probably like to save my heart. He wants me to take him so she can take a Lotty as well, because he wants Lotty to play before they go on to school.
I'm not buying it. No, I think he's just half broken up with. Really hurts my soul. It's happened a couple of times as well.
How's he going to go when there's another little haze?
Oh my gosh, sure that'll sort him out one. That's what about last night as well? He drew Lotty a little picture because Lotty was being an absolute.
You know what.
Lotty accepted the pitcher, threw it on the ground and jumped on it, so that broke his heart.
And then I said, mate, I like it. I love it.
I love this picture. What does it take me through it? He said, right, I will at in the corner is Princess Elsa and those three people that's me, Lottie and Mum. And I said, well, Dad didn't get a gig. He said, I know, well, you're always at work.
Oh my god, yes.
And I reckon.
The most heartbreaking conversation was when he's starting to get in football, and he said, Dad, did you play for Port Adelaide And I said, no, mate, I didn't. I played for the Bulldogs. And he said, oh, the Western Bulldogs. And I had to say no, no, no, mate, no, no, not in the AFL. And then he genuine said why didn't you play in the AFL?
Oh?
My god, I.
Was enough.
Just got your heart in his hands, and he's just like squeezing a lot juggling.
I had one the other day.
I popped home from work during the day in between here and Channel ten and walked in the door and and half of the three year old looked at me and she said.
When are you going back to work like that? And I was like, oh, she isn't great. You can't want me around.
And then I realized I'd misunderstood her, because she said, because you never stay long enough and you always go.
Back to work.
Wow, she's right too. You're a terrible mother.
Oh, escalated, didn't it?
It doesn't we get.
I mean, an adult could say anything they want to me, pretty much anything. But then your kid says something to you which is really much more innocent.
You're like, oh, you need to go yeah, because there's no filter, Absolutely no filter.
They just say exactly what's in their heart and soul.
Yeah, and all of our children think we're terrible because we're always at work.
And also I think we can all mutually agree that most adults in my life I hate them.
Good morning, Jade, good morning.
How are you going?
Going? Very well? Unload? And what did he or she say?
Turn around and told me I need to stop eating. I'm going to be as round as a.
Dog, one sort of dog? Is it right?
This is not a very fair comparison.
Oh, thank you, No, my body is a lot more compact.
How do you respond to that? Jade? What's your response in that situation?
I just thought, I just mean I had nothing.
Yeah, yeah, that'll do.
You're me you sure to give it back to her?
It happens, Allison, good morning, Hi morning. What did your daughter say one day?
She looks at me dead in the eyes, and she, without any emotion, just said, mum, when you did, can I.
Have that house? Yeah? Just future thinking that's nice? Wow?
So now do you keep an eye on our and you're sort of half thinking is she plotting my murder?
Luckily we don't live in that house anymore?
Do you find her rifling through the filing cabinet looking for the the deed to the house and you're life insurance policy.
Then we've got a real issue here. Thanks Alison Many, how you going go? Thank you? What did your son say?
Oh, he's just a terror. It was about three baby, nearly fall when I was singing in malalab and he's like, Mommy, please stop, you're hurting my ear. And when we're driving and I'm humming like Dusto.
It's really nice feedback, isn't it. Yeah, kids can be so brutal and honest. I'll tell you what actually so kids when he used to play music back in the day. Kids they're the barometer. They are the barometer whether you're doing good job or not. So most kids, particularly sort of three to five, will get right around it that I sort of dancing, and they'll sit in the middle of the stage, particular the line hotel, and I'll look
at you like you're a genuine rock star. There was one There was one time and I was hungover as hell do so I was like, I think I sound pretty awful, but maybe it's just mate. Yeah, the kid turned up in the middle of the stage and the dead set was looking at me with his fingers plugged into his ears.
That's the feedback I needed. We can all agree that I sucked the day.
Oh dear.
It is officially school holidays. It brings a time of absolute joy slash intense stress for parents, particularly, I've got toddler's.
Yeah, toddler's when you're spending all day, every day with them.
Are a lot toddles.
Absolute psychopaths certifiable.
When you look at the genuine definition of a psychopath, it checks out for everything that a toddler does.
My toddler lost her mind the other day. Do you know why? Could you even guess why?
I don't know? Interest rates.
I had the absolute audacity to take her popper and I put the straw through the minium foil bit thing.
You know that I did that and she wanted to do it. That was forty five minutes worth of tears.
Yeah you had that on you that. Yeah, yes, you've got to be better than that. Our little Lottie who is fast approaching three years old, and strange enough, she's in charge of our household.
Yet she can't even properly talk. But how does that work?
No, you can't properly talk either and you're not.
Even in charge of your how She talked real good, proper good stuff. So she's at LC and we got a little message from her teachers the other day, and one of the teachers in particular, she's absolutely obsessed with. But I'm not sure that the feelings are mutual, right. So Car sends me a text and it reads, I just picked up Lotty from ELC to find out today she's been hitting other children. She's been screaming, not listening during group time and blew a raspberry in the teacher's
face when she got told off. And she's a ringleader of a little gang who copied her. So we all know what that means.
We've lost it.
We've lost her to the streets and this particular little fierce gang of youths two and a half to three year olds. I mean, with just complete disregard for human emotion. It doesn't matter if you're Joe Schmoe from Wallaru or you're the Great Premier of South Australia Peter Malahawskus. They will go up to you, look you directly in the eye and give you a big old fat rasberry. She's
two and a half and we're getting these messages. What are we supposed to do, like sit down and say stop blowing rasberries your teachers.
I don't know, but you know what you have to do. You have to stop letting her roll down the streets with her little bike, with her little training wheels, with the ribbons.
Flying in the wind, just pulling up to people giving it.
It's a really dangerous message, isn't it.
I've had one situation at childcare where I went to pick up Peyton and apparently she knocked over her little tin full of pencils, and the teacher goes to me. She said, look, I wanted to tell her off, but I couldn't because the timing was just impeccable when she looked at it and went off for f.
That's a natural thing for kids, isn't it. Where did she pick up that from? Bloody Gregor?
I picked up Henry the other day and his teacher is absolutely lovely, and she says, I love it when they show a bit of personality.
I don't want to squash it. So he forgot where he was for a second.
She said to him timing class, and he looked up and said, hey, be there.
She went Henry he got startled.
Sorry, miss A little bit too comfortable.