Hayesy's Busted Nut & Jodie's Pole Dancing Injury

Welcome to the Jody in Hazy Podcasts, proudly brought to you by.

Every single opportunity to play single time.

What is going on? Grow up? Oh jeez? Now, nath Valvo, very good comedian.

Yes, we had a little chat with him, very funny man, doing some fine work at the fringe for a short time only though.

Yeah, I got to go in and see him at the Rhino Room. That's where he's plying his.

Trade for all the good comedian comedics, comedians.

Go comedians, comedics, comedy guys, funny guys, all of them, all of them.

They go to the Rhino Room.

They do. Are you schnitting me? Was fun this morning? A couple of very interesting stories.

Yeah, you are really drilled down on a busted testicle.

See what you wouldn't you just really really go off if you busted your testicle, That's what it would sound like, and then you'd go where it is.

You shouldn't feel allowed access to the South effects.

You simply should not.

It's out of control.

So I love that you were able to talk about that, But I'm not allowed to talk about my injuries. Sustain doing a very serious news story about boll dancing.

Didn't you feel like you're being a little bit inappropriate now, Like we're just having fun before and now you want to take it in a bit of a smutty direction. Obviously I'm joking, but the look that you're giving me' is like, oh, you should sort of fear for your safety type thing.

Yeah, anyway, we'll have a chat about that after the podcast.

Okay, shall we what about our bando Man?

Yeah, he was good.

He's very, very good. This guy is what do you call him? A rapper, a lyricist. You can give him a subject on the spot and he will seamlessly rap about it for I reckon. He could go for two or three days if he had to.

He's absolutely brilliant. This guy.

I'd never seen him in action until he came into the studio, but he's amazing.

Yes, just one of the many outstanding acts that's happening in the Fringe, along with Matt Hale.

Yes, the hypnosis Okay, yeah, I see this anyway.

So it's a bruiser like inner thigh. It's really really sore at social a look.

Yeah, while you're on the socials having a look at that, check out, Jodi give the tires because that's a bit of a laugh, isn't it a real solid laugh? Welcome to the podcast friends? Where so Jody Otti on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays puts on her Channel ten first at five news Hound first at five to ten. Hat. Yeah, that's the title.

It's a big caut.

It's a big ad, isn't It's like a bigger kubra at last night. Yes, usually on Channel ten we see Jody doing the court stories, these really big, solid important stories. I'm not saying this wasn't important. No, it was just a shift in direction. Yeah, take us through it.

It was a little bit lighter.

I basically did a story on the on the girls that are going to be backup dancers for Snoop Dogg next Wednesday night.

All she did, everyone's been craving it.

Theoretically, if Snoop was to request a middle aged mother four for next Wednesday, Carlie, what move could I do to impress him?

Oh, a fireman spin for sure.

Okay, let's grab your hands up yep, Liza on the pole, yep, yep.

Then we're going to go through a little spin.

Oh yes, Snoope snow gloves it all right?

At body roll, I'll give me this work. Okay, So that little bit in particular, can you just paint a bit of a visual for us, because how do I describe this? It was doing plenty visually, so and as they saying the classics, yeah, oh boy wi.

So basically I had and I'm still sore.

Actually, those I have to say, those pole dancers are incredible what they do. It's like it's akin to being in the Olympics for gymnastics.

It's actually amazing. And I'm still sore, like my anathizers sport. Is that too much information?

Yeah, I'm fine. I've got this natural little mechanic there where I sort of zone out when I when I hear a red flag, I've just heard white noise for the past ten seconds.

So basically, she taught me how to do a fireman's drop, so you wrap your legs around the pole when you go round around, and then.

She was like, and then do a body roll and then do it to work. So that's what I did.

Okay.

Oh, sorry for doing my job, mate, sorry for being professional.

I don't remember getting sent down to the joint where those poles are and doing a news story like that, but that's okay, So just a little bit.

Different, get nervous, you get a bit stammery, stommery, don't you.

Yeah, it's certainly not in my cup and zone right now. But I do have a question for you, and I feel like I have a question for not just myself but every single Channel ten viewer last night. Go and be honest, Well, that was not your first time? Is it like this? Do I just do it like this? You nailed it was perfect And you can jump on Twitter for Channel ten and have a bit of a look. Yeah,

What do you mean the finish?

Just a little air drop, little twerk.

Yeah, a little twerk of the And there was much discussion in the newsroom actually about do we keep that in or do we not?

And I'm like, oh my god, at.

What point do you idiots realize that I have no credibility so just leave it in?

Who cares?

You?

Just reading story?

This how was seen was huge?

This is some cusy.

Joe start with his story, hazy about ed sheerm because it's actually a little bit sad.

And then Hopefully things pick up in the juice after.

That, but he's revealed some pretty heavy stuff about writing his new album, Subtract. He writes, within the space of a month, my pregnant wife got told she had a tumor, with no route to treatment until after the birth. My best friend Jamal, a brother to me, died suddenly, and I found myself standing in a court defending my integrity and career as a songwriter, sharing through fear, depression and anxiety.

There was that whole thing that he'd like copied, yes, songs, remember.

Which I do remember at the time thinking that was absolutely ridiculous. Yeah, And I do also think there's millions upon millions of songs.

How on earth do you come up with something original when there's so many songs out there.

With very similar, pretty basic core progressions for a lot of them.

Yeah, he said, I felt like I was drowning, head below the surface, looking up but not being able to.

Break through for airs. I'm sorry sorry he went through that.

But on the back of that, he's got one hundred and five thousand people tonight at the MCG for his concert in Melbourne.

Yeah, he seems to be quite popular.

And then over one hundred and seven thousand tomorrow night as well. So Melbourne is bracing for traffic chaos. Can you imagine the Thursday night and Friday night commute in Melbourne with everyone pouring in for ed shearing?

It's like the AFOL Grand Final two nights in a row.

Exactly.

A bit of mathscoss from last night. So rupert butt dild Evelyn?

Oh god, you just wonder the validity of the butt dial?

Well, not once, but three times. Three times? It's three butt does.

Stop sitting on your phone?

Yeah?

So Evelyn who hasn't been overly kind to her husband during the show, but then defied the trend last night and she decided that he's an absolute moron.

Have a listen.

I know that I'm blunt the truth now, Please don't make me go there.

I don't want to be that chef.

Absolutely go there. Then you said you couldn't stand her.

And your cords.

No he didn't.

Hasn't really has an everyone really found herself and really found her voice.

Hasn't she discovered who she is as a woman?

Oh my goodness, there as they say, to really stir the pot and shake things up.

Yes, a bit of clarification around Justin Beaver's condition and why he canceled his Australian tour. It's related to the condition that he has that he's been fairly vocal about. But this was his statement yesterday.

Everyone justin here.

I wanted to updat you guys on what's been going on. Obviously, as you can probably see from my face, I have this syndrome called Ramsey Hunt syndrome and it is from this virus that attacks the nerve in my ear, my facial nerves and has caused my fees to have paralysis.

So this was a little Instagram video that he released last year when it first came to light, and obviously it's it's back again. So yes, that's the answer for a lot of Justin Bieber fans who were extremely disgruntled yesterday and his birthday.

And there's this whole other dialogue going on between Hailey and Selena Gomez that I just I tried to research it this morning before the show, and I just couldn't get my little head around it.

Ye, there's a lot going on. It's a fair bit going on to by.

Eight o'clock, I'll try and like really drill down and then have all the goss for you.

Okay, very good book for holiday you this.

Summer, because act a little different on holiday, more daring, relaxing. Sometimes it'd be more fancy.

And what if has all kinds of accommodation to suit your style?

Book get away on the if? What if it's Ozzie for travel. Time to speak to one of the best comedians that you will hear.

Yes, our next guest joining us in the studio is Naith Valvo.

His fringe show is called a Hit Machine.

And we just said, mate, watch your nineties banger that you want to walk into.

And that was it, I mean the first one that came to my head. There's hundreds we could have chosen.

Yes, we went with Beta. We went with a local hero.

I thought the link there was that you had abs like Peter Andre back in the day. It's a physical thing.

However, speaking of his apps, I do remember the film clip him walking on the beach. No, I do remember being, you know, eleven twelve years old, going what's going on here?

Why am I?

Anyway? Good morning Adelaide.

Andre was your turning point? What was yours?

Who made you gay? Let's open the phone line, let's do this a.

Be sure and you want to contribute over there?

Are you good?

I reckon it was the spy skirls that turned you. Oh yes, yeahs turned well before that.

Okay, n take us through this show. Obviously you're you're a regular at this time of the year, and we love going along and watching you do your absolute best.

Thank you?

What's the show best?

Well?

You know, this is my thirteenth Adelaide friend, My god, that's a lot.

And you're only you've only just hit what.

Thank you so much? Have you been googling what to say to a guest.

Twelve?

That's very lovely. Thank you.

I'm a bit older than I look because I never go in the sun. That's the key keeps the face fresh. So it's my thirteenth year. And then last year something happened. I did this thing in my show.

Last year. I told this story that I told another.

Previous year, and then all these audience members came up to me night after night going that was by far the best part of the show. Now, hang on, how offensive that was a bit from another show I did once, But hang on, I am so arrogant and comedians are so up themselves that we think everyone sees us every year and that you're obsessed with us. Then you have us counting down on your calendar.

Do you see our Adelaide show?

So I thought, why not for my thirteenth year, get every red hot favorite bit I've ever done over thirteen years and crammed them all into one hour.

It's absolutely exhausting, and I am doing a hit machine, greatest hits.

To take that John Farnam, really and it is been Last night was opening show?

So much fun?

Yeah, and I'm like, why did I wait this long to do something as fun as this?

You're a former member as well, of course of the Nova family.

Love NOV, Thank you, Nover, Live Life, nover doing. My favorite NOV moment was I love talking. I don't know if you've picked up on that, but I was never good at the buttons. I'm like old mate here.

No, he's never good at the button.

Oh good, I pressed the right things.

So bad at the buttons I used to.

This is my favorite Nova moment and probably why I'm no longer on NOV. I was hosting the weekend National Breaky Show. So that's a great show. I was on in every state. Good Morning, Hello Australia. I did the buttons wrong. Someone told me I wasn't paying attention. Probably saw myself in a reflection somewhere O fix the fringe left the studio because then it went into auto.

Pilot whenever that word is called.

And then I got in the lift, and then I got down to the car, and then I got in my car and drove out of the building and there was silence on the Nova station.

I'm like, well, that's not good. There was actual Sun. Who's done that? Why is there nothing on Nova? Anyway?

I took Nova off air for so long that the emergency song kicked in. They have some sort of like emergency system and a song plays, and that was Britney Spears Radar and I'll never forget it.

That kicked in. So you're welcome Australia to bang a song.

Unfortunately, wait a minute of the before we got there.

I think it's over a minute.

It has to be silenced for for that song to kick in, So look no longer on over.

That's the ending of that story.

Yeah, I want to see you, welcome back, but quite frankly you not. No, thanks so much for coming in. And the show is called hit Machine. Only got a couple of left. So you've got to get him quickets at the Rhino Room Great Room tickets from frenchticks dot com dot are you know?

Thanks so much.

You've got a time machine.

On this day, Thursday, second of March. A lot happened on this day. So let's take a little firm trip down a particular avenue. Where should we go?

Joe's oh memory late on.

This daisy time. Nineteen sixty three, On this day, Anthony albaniz He was born in Sydney. Today is his sixtieth birthday. For the big Elbow.

Oh, happy birthday, Elbow.

At what stage will the entire nation because that's what we do, Just turn on him and start to hate him. That's what we do with Prime Minister. At some point it's coming, Albo. Just get ready.

Except for Hawky. We love him, No, we like him.

After I think we started scull and beers for fun.

That was the turning point.

Why does an albow just do that? Now? No one online, I'm sure. Nineteen eighty Rebel Wilson was born in City. Today is her forty third birthday. What a successful cruise she's had. She's been funny the whole time.

The best singer in Tasmania Bit Team Oh Happy Birthday.

Rebel good Stuff. Two thousand and one, Spiedo closed down. There one remaining Australian factory in Sydney, and there was just an absolute angry army of middle aged dads wearing speedos with their guts hanging over the top with zincd up sniffers.

So I feel like your hate for speedos is unjustified?

Am I right? Producers? Zoe?

Are you right?

Who was wearing one? About seven days ago?

Who was producers?

Zoe was?

I was forced to wear some speedo?

You went forced to wear a subway speed You want.

You not to?

He all said, don't do it, and you still did it.

Quite literally chuck them out after that as well. Twenty twelve one directions entire twenty twelve was straining to was sold out in just three minutes through ticket tech. Do you guys have a favorite one direction song? Go you do? Sare we the Story of My life?

There?

You story of it life? I keep it warm. I think you're mixing and mashing lyrics there, but that's okay.

And I also feel like that came out after one direction.

No, yes, that's a one direction song just straight up to Google anyway. This feels like an offair conversation twenty fourteen, Ellen DeGeneres. It seems like a lovely lady, Ellen, doesn't she She didn't really nice.

She didn't where everyone came out and said she wasn't.

Her oscarself a big President Obama's retweet record on Twitter in twenty fourteen, what was her sign off? Again?

Big?

Good to one mother?

Yeah, use your own words there. Well, stop being really really good guests, because who would have thought that your high profile guests would actually talk. I don't know. One song on March second, two thousand and seven was what Goes Around Comes Around by Justin Timberlake. This is a man who just is unable to do something that's not elite.

Yeah, that's so true. He's quite little, though.

Is he? He would own you met I met him Joe two.

That is so unfair because I didn't even say that.

Are we talking?

Two?

Wow?

We call little? Last time? I call it up. Well, he just quite a little. I'm assuming this time.

That makes me so bad.

You don't gaslight me like that, like you like I'm saying that I've met someone famous.

You're the one that said that i'd met him.

What are you talking about? I alway said anything about justin Timberlake. You're crazy, you're losing it. Yeah, anyway, he'sating. It's a lot of fun. It's called are you schnitting me? Where we both tell a story. Somebody's telling the truth, somebody is telling a lie. If you can correctly identify which story is which, who's truthful, who's a big fat liar? Yep, score yourself a one hundred dollars bout you the schnit house.

Do you want to go first? Or do you just want to make me do all the heavy lifting?

You know always, you know you're such a strong person. Why don't you just lead us into the promised Land? You honest operator?

Okay, so you know James Brashaw, right.

Here we go.

You know, James drop the names, accusing me of dropping.

Names, James Brashaw.

Okay. Well, I once was in the back of a cab in Bali with James, and I had the worst barley belly you could ever imagine. So we were traveling from where we were staying at a resort, not together, obviously, I was with my ex husband and we were traveling to Semon out just to do a bit of shopping.

And oh my god, I have never been hit so hard by gastro in my whole entire life.

You know, I would pay to watch and listen to James Bracehaw commmentates to your barley belly.

That's there.

He goes from fifty meters out, she's running to the toilet. Unbelievable, that sort of vibe. So that happened in Bali.

Here you goes, yeah, look, that's very believable. And because that's what happens when you get to Bali, get Bali belly. Yeah, you don't want to get in front of James Bracehwaw. That a story for it.

We don't want to him providing commentary on him.

You do not. That doesn't help pursue the situation at all, does it.

All?

Right, let's go back to two thousand and I'm going to get very specific with this as well, and I say it was around fifteen central districts to be Port Adelaide.

Yep.

Definitely in the second half and say the third quarter. I think by that stage I hadn't or maybe I'd had one kick.

Irrelevant, it's not, it's very relevant in terms of sample stats.

I would have been actually know why it's relevant beause I would have been getting really really frustrated, so I would have started to try and do the argie bargie stuff. Oh No, So I've tried to I've tried to take out a big bloke and he ended up being in grooms in my wedding. Guy called Jimmy MICKL. John.

I know Jimmy, Big Jimmy.

He's a giant man. So I've tried to absolutely floor Jimmy for whatever reason, just to take out my anger. And right at the time where I wish that he didn't move, he sort of turned away and I got him front on and he raised his knee yep, and

Also Jody in the back of a cabin barley.

Bang bang, let's go contents everywhere, look at it, this kind of thing thirteen twenty four to ten. Who's telling the truth? Who was lying? Cut the stories?

Yep?

Someone's telling the truth. Someone's telling you why little recap? Yep.

So my story was about schnitting in balley basically. So I was with my ex husband's best friend, James brace Saw.

He was in the front of the cab.

It was just one of those rare times where you got gashtro and it was both ends.

It wasn't both No, this was pure bottom half.

Oh my gosh.

Specifically, will you backed me into that corner you had?

You made me explain that that's not fair.

Did you schnit yourself James Brochew when I don't want to do that in front of it's James Brache I love Jameson.

She's running in from fifty. She's got a hand on a bottom here she goes.

No, we did find like a little like shop with a hole in the ground, so that was fine, It was all fine, It was all good in the end.

Yep, that happened.

I'm sorry. Did you have to deliver it into a long drop? Is that what you're saying is, Oh my gosh, what an unbelievable experience.

What are you supposed to do when bali belly hits mate? Not many options.

You're certainly not holding it in.

You certainly can't. It's not mind over matter, no, it is it. It's deliver immediately, okay.

And in short, my story was against Bordelaide twenty ten collision. Tried to nail someone and hit the wrong spot and bang a ruptured testicle. Ooh, burst nut. As I say in any classics, very unbelievably painful and not that uncommon as well, like not I reckon. You see it once or twice a year in the AFL shocking injury. Anyway, here we are.

We've arrived.

It's not where we planned to go, but we've arrived there.

Yes, yeah, go on, then good morning to you.

Sarah, good morning.

Who do you think is telling a lie? Who do you think is telling the truth? And thank you?

And we do have a one hundred dollars Schnouse voucher on the line here.

Sarah, I think that Hazy, you're schnitten me. Why do you think that? I think it's just.

Too oddly specific that I think you're just trying to win me over.

But I really think that you're not right there, And I go with you're telling the truth here. You're trying to win Sarah snut mate of the amount of girls, the amount of girls at Marble Bar. Back in the day, I'd say I'm going to throw over you love.

It never worked, and you know what, Sarah, Congratulations, Sarah, you have correctly identified the person who was absolutely full of knit.

Yeah.

I thought lord done.

Congratulations, one hundred dollars sni House voucher for you.

Thank you.

I just had one question.

Oh, I don't know if you guys can help me with this, but I've been seeing this man in a white suit.

I've seen him twice now and he's giving out cash.

I don't know if he's part of the fringe or if you might know something about this or somebody else might know.

But it's pretty I don't know.

There's this man in a white suit and he's got a he's in a white plummer.

You have seen that?

No, No, it sounds like the plot of a horror movie.

I know it does seem a little weird, but I'm just trying to I haven't.

I haven't.

I didn't have the guts to go up to him and take the cash.

But I don't know.

You knew anything about It's definitely not us.

So sure.

I saw there's actually a whole Reddit thread dedicated to this. Yeah, spotted at Paradise Interchange. It was posted two days ago. I'll have a read and see what I can find out.

Oh my very goodness, look if you if you know any more details or you' it was a bus thirteen twenty fourteen.

Got this segments had everything happen to.

This come in a different direction? Oh my very goodness, we're not schnitting you, Although there is a bloke handing out money, potentially in a big white duff coat.

Yeah.

Shitty House Australia serves the best news was made fresh daily with a thenty Golden Classic or silliac friendly bread Combs, Hilton, Golden Grove and o'halor and hill m.

Yep, everything intact over there.

You're all good, I think. So everything is full and plump, Joe. It's the best thing about the Fringe Festival. Sometimes you go down and you see some of these acts and you go, how on earth did they do that? They are so bloody talented. So there's the good acts, yeah, and then there's this really tight little elite group. Yes, I reckon that's where our next guest sits.

I have never seen him perform, but I am so looking forward to this little sample sized bite of you a band oman.

Welcome to the studio.

What a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

So your show in the Garden of Unearthly delights. Anyone can get their tickets through French. How's it all been going.

It's been going very well. So I'm a musical improviser. I champ at the audience every night and make songs up about their lives and it's lovely.

Now you cannot come in without doing a little performance for us.

We gotta do it.

So how's this going to roll? Can you explain?

This is one of my favorite things.

I am now realizing that most of the bands that I loved when I was when I was younger are having reunion concerts. They broke up, They're getting back to go Club seven Clubs seven. I mean, I lost my mind, Tina. So let's try this. Let's try it as though the three of us were in a band, the greatest band in the world, Jody Hazy and Big Rob. So let's try a lot of the times when bands get back together, they're kind of reminiscing on the past. Let's do a

Yes, let's do it.

The go greatest band in the world. Yeah, he a, let's go this go? Are we ready? They were ready ready? See back in the dayby you know that they were crazy, man.

You know it was just me and mister Hazy.

Yeah man, you know, b we totally lonely right there. They left me for Nova. Jody, we back. You know what's quite divine? Back inside the line one nine here right there, man, Jody got the hype of lines.

Yeah man, you know.

Tonight, tell the crew, Jody, what's your first broken rule?

Well, I don't eat red mate, and then I'll have a few drinks and Ali the hot dog and a party part.

This a hot dog under party pie.

What's a party pie?

Take a little pie?

Pop it right there tonight, lotted on it. We'd be grabbing all the pies. A week of rock it with the party check it. Then you know animals, she cares for them. You know that she's sectarian, preparing vegetarians, listen, lives a lottery. She's just like Hollaby when she doesn't drink. She opened me often eats broccoli. Yeah, that's right inside her heart. There's some hardship. She wants more to life than just a parsnip. Check it right there, start to cry.

Well, sometimes I ate grapes at the supermarket and don't pay for it. You know, sorry, how many? How many grapes? Grapes you've ever eaten? Sometimes a whole bunch? Drop it.

Listen, it's divine. This man is eating the prequel to wine. You know a man crazy b hazy be stealing Jacob's creek.

Rough you doing this check a team.

You know the man he dexterously eats the red and green. Yep, he pops him in the mouth like okay, HiT's both grapes like my man go rose eight tonight. Man a star man has just been like barred from k Mart when they see the day take a stroll. You won't let the grapes go from mister Coles. So you know that we can do this. Man? You know what? Boo listen, man, we going through he rock up with the stolen fruit. That's it, Hey, please go crazy, make some noise for Jordy and Hazy.

Is unbelievable.

It's amazing, and we need to absolutely stress that. At no stage did you know what we were going to say? No, very much.

I started to say, and what.

Did you tried to say something? I'm strict. I got my own internal rule system, but I don't break by the way.

Rage.

Great suggestions, great suggestions.

Thank you, they're all true. I didn't realize you're a great stealer.

Yeah, he just needs manergy on the go. Yeah. Who would have thought that it would turn into an award winning rap.

No, I really like the idea excelling you go to your local fruit of Edge Story. They're just like, oh, here he is.

It's okay, we're making art here.

You can catch a bando man nightly at the Garden of Unearthly Delights.

Your tickets through French Ticks. Give it up for Abanda Mante.

Big show coming up tomorrow.

The Judge returns, The Judge is back, the court is in session, and tomorrow every single person that gets on air will win edge sharing tickets.

This is outrageous, Yes, isn't it very good stuff?

Ask us anything that's back tomorrow If you want to get involved in that segment breakfast at an over nine one nine dot com dot are you You can ask us any question you like.

And let me just take this opportunity to invite you as good friends at the show onto the socials once again. If you haven't already, don't do it to see Jodiody get hypnotized by the great Matt Howe. It's a hell of a time for those who aren't Jodiodi, and that's most of us. It's a good time for everybody but you.

Everyone but me.

I mean the amount of joy that you've got out of humiliating me this week.

He says more about you mate, I.

Was in my speedo's, my subway speedos washing cars a couple of weeks ago. It's your turn. You're turned to do a bit of work online. I've got a sneaky sip suspicion. You mentioned it before, but the phone's going to be busy tomorrow.

Oh my goodness, this is quite outrageous.

Every single person that gets on air will win Edgeheering tickets. Go along and see him at the Adelaide Oval. Amazing.

It's going to be a pick. Will catch you right now. It tomorrow morning.