Hayesy's Audition To Replace Kochie On Sunrise

Welcome along, And I know what you're all expecting. You're all expecting a great chopper chup rematch. Who can open up the chupper chup wrapper quicker.

We're going to deliver.

We're going to find out it's a rematch you've all been waiting for. Still going redemption.

He's really like into it, isn't he?

In that moment?

Yeah, absolutely feeling the vibe of UFC.

If you ever looked at your kids and gone, what is wrong with you? And why did you do that? It makes absolutely no sense at all.

Yeah, regularly, Yeah, as a kid.

In America who did something so ridiculously stupid, it has to be heard to be believed.

Also, we're speculating who's in the mix to potentially get the new Sunrise gig. David kosh Out, who's in woll And.

What you did is you took your cap off and you threw it into the ring.

I threw it in it like immediately got spat back into my face. What's going on here? Who's throwing that back at you?

Why?

Why not?

Turns out of a server. He's got a very good arm on him.

He does. He's the.

Let's talk, probably one of the biggest media.

Moves of the year.

David David Kosh has announced that he's stepping down out of next Friday from Sunrise, which he's been hosting for twenty one years, which is a remarkable effort.

Two thoughts on this one.

A man of his age and wealth, you just would get to a point, wouldn't you where you go? I don't want to get up at three am anymore? And I just want to enjoy my family. I want to enjoy my kids.

Do you think surely say three am starts? Isn't it like really really early? So it's early for breakfast radio, but it's next level for breakfast t day totally.

So there is that.

There is something else that I would like to put to you as a member of the Seven Stable. Is it a situation? Because sometimes when these things happen, it's like they'll go to Koshi or go to whoever and go okay, So we want to make a move. How do you want to play this? Do you want to step down? Or do we give you a little push back?

Or yeah, yeah, who knows, who knows what's happening in the crowd?

Yells ball?

Yeah, all of those types of things for the longest time. I mean we probably thought that Matt Shervington was in the role because I mean, the dude's just too perfect.

Yeah, you've always you've always been a big Chervo fan. In fact, you described him as this not so long ago.

I know, aliens exist out with Matt Shervington. What do you mean alien he's not that he can't be real. Oh he's not real, is he? Because he's too perfect? Isn't he absolutely too perfect? And the aliens have stuffed up with Matt Shervington. I said, we'll send someone down there, just Kevin Eye on what's happening to the Earthlings. Yeah, we'll just No, they'll accept this bloke. I'm like, no, sorry, we can't accept you. Too perfect. Yeah, he's very very perfect.

Well, perhaps the front runner, but maybe not a shoe in. So there is some suggestion because doctor Chris Brown got poached from Channel ten in February and then he's gone on record to say I will start mid year my role at seven. They paid a million bucks a year.

Two by the way, o beautiful box daw Brown. They call it ridiculous. You're on him. Heid absolutely cut onions on that thing.

So he's in the mix, but also Matt Douran, who used to work at the ten news room here in Adelaide for a little home.

No one knows in the mix. One could be in the mix.

One could be in the mix.

Who knows I might be in the mix? You don't know, knows what do you think I could be? Do you reckon I could be in the mix? Do you think that I could do Sunrise? All right?

Now?

Answer? Honestly, Let's give you a pop quiz.

Okay, because obviously in that role you need to be across a range of international and domestic issues. So can I quickly just quiz a few little, few questions.

That you This is like when John Howard said, do you reckon I could play cricket for Australia halfter that time in India where he threw the board out at about fifteen times.

Consider this as a mini audition process for the gig on Sunrise.

I'm ready, okay, welcome to Sunrise.

There's a war going on in your cra I didn't mean to say Ukraine, but there's a war going on.

Who's it between.

Russia and Ukraine?

Well done? Who fronts the Today Show?

What's up, hang on, I'm still getting to this pit. Who fronts of Today Show? Karl and Sarah Arbor? I know the opposition?

Yeah?

Where is the International Chappa Chump Committee?

Location?

That's an easy one'slocated in Denver, Colorado. Subs in nineteen twenty seven by the great Greg Chappanowski, of course, pupa chopper.

Yeah, give yourself a tip. What does www you stand for in a website browser?

Straight away? I'm like, well, world wrestling, world war These questions are easy.

Can I add one? Jodie go on? Who is the PM of our country at the moment?

The country? My god? Oh no, oh, my gosh, I genuinely panic there for a second.

I've got one final one, and if you get this right, then you could officially be announced on Monday as the new host of Sunrise.

Are you ready?

What geometric shape is used for.

A stop sign?

Is it? Hang on?

A big career move on the line here?

No, it's not. It's to god, I was so glass.

My god, the greatest career move of all time has just been thwarted by stop sign?

Do you reckon?

Never mind?

Yeah, well then I guess it probably will be sure now.

If it's time for a winter treat, but jump on morning. It's a place to go for quick Aussie getaways.

To me, it's just getting in the car and just going for a cruise and.

Exploring for accommodation, flights and more. Book on the what if app.

What If It's Ozzie for Travel.

A tale of absolute teenage stupidity has come across my desk, and we need to talk about it, because until this point in my life I always envisaged that you would have been the stupidest teenager. Do you ever walk the planet?

How very dare you throw such truths at me?

He would have been a proper idiot.

I reckon, jeez, I look back now and be like, how did I even function? How do I feel like I was him smart enough to know when to breathe in and out.

I've heard a couple of stories about you at boarding school that I've just got. Oh, my kitty aunt, how did you even survive your teenageers?

I'm not sure. How do a mum and dad even live with themselves? Spending out sort of money? Yeah?

Exactly right?

Okay, So the fifteen year old boy injected himself with mercury in an attempt to give himself superpowers.

God's cross my mind.

He's said to have wanted to emulate Marvel X Men's superhero Mercury, but instead ended up with painful ulcers that refuse to heal.

Guess what else this little kid did?

What's it?

Guess? Just very guess what this peanut did?

Well? What else you need to inject become a superhero?

Well?

Similar, he's got a couple of spiders and went here, bite me on the arm.

That's how works, so I can become Spider Man.

That's our works.

You got to be very selective with the spider that say that the teenage boy's brain doesn't develop to about twenty two or twenty.

Three, I'd argue thirty five, thirty six.

This kid is absolute living proof. Have you ever just looked at your kids and gone, why did why that bleep?

Did you do that?

What's going on that little brain of yours? Skin involved? Thirteen twenty four ten? What crazy thing did your kid do? Dropped the story not long ago about lotty two year old who hit our keys, and we were convinced that someone had put them somewhere really expensive to replace, And then eventually we found it's in the bottom of the pantry. And what was a dead giveaway that it was Lotty? Well, it was next to a little pepper pigfi green and

I had a situation where I went to clean my teeth last week and I grew to my electric toothbrush, put the toothpaste on and put it in my mouth and it.

Tasted like a soap.

I was like, what's gone on here? And so I start to inspect my electric toothbrush and there's like black texture scribbled all over as well. I was like, oh, this is a deep giveaway. What's the three year old done with my toothbrush? So I said, honey, did you take mummy's toothbrush? And she's like, I don't know. And then I was like, what did you do with it? And she said, I clean the shower. So she'd taken my toothbrush and at the bottom of the shower had just like tried to scrub the tiles.

Yes, in her mind, she's like, so actually you owe me. Yeah, I've been working hard, mum.

Look at how sparkling your shower is I'll just get catch you off their mum.

You're welk.

Oh god, it tasted awful. Thirteen twenty fourteen. We want you to get involved here. Have you ever just looked at your kids and thought, what'd you do that for? You idiot?

And how did I possibly create such absolute nonsense? Let's not veer off into territory. We just hating on your kids.

Yeah, you know, no, it's sort of half cute things like them cleaning the shower with your toothbrush, that sort of vibe, you know. Thirty twenty four to ten, give us call. Let's go to Maya from Wulluga. Good morning, Maya, Hi, how are you good?

Good?

What did your kid do? And you just looked and went, oh my god?

Why it was my little cousin.

She must have been about three or four and she stuck a bead up her nose?

What was the what was the intention there?

Maya?

Well, she when we asked her what she why she did it, she just said she didn't know where to put it because it feels like a good storage space sometimes, you know, Yeah, she has to put beads up there. It's like, oh, my bucket's are full, I've got two nostrils ready to go. I've got a couple of cupbods up there.

I got these beads. What the hell do I do with them?

Yeah? Good text line. Very busy this morning as well. I for double nine nine nine on nine. This one from Kelsey and Malvin. Good morning to you. Said my kid was so convinced he was a wizard like Harry Potter. One night he stole the kitchen broom and ran away.

You're not a wizard, Harry.

Damn it. Flightless broom too.

Oh, here we go.

My kid thought, if you've got enough speed running up the stairs, he'd be able to fly.

All he got was a broken collar boy only from Fulham.

That's awful when they end like that. Yeah, that's not fun, not ideal?

Is it?

Not good at all? Thirteen twenty four to ten can get involved with this sent sensu text as well. I fall double nine one nine.

Kids, you have one this morning? What to do with those spare beads?

Though?

Haven't you got two nostrils?

Yeah?

Make good use of that.

That's exactly right.

This is nover fully endorsed the just reaking story.

How the so much scene's is huge I love this story.

Some great news for Kelly Finlayson this morning. She's the wife of port player Jeremy. You'd be familiar with this story, hazy. She was told she had terminal bell counts cancer when she was twenty five, and they said, they said to her at the time, you won't see your daughter's first day of school.

That is a lot. That is a lot too much, isn't it.

It's just like, so when we found out that, we found out so much stuff was happening behind the scenes, and obviously we cover Jeremy and what he's doing and at the time as well, New play it to the club. And then also when all this was happening, was playing unbelievable football and was like, oh, and the first time I heard him he spoke on radio a long, long

So she's had a hepo chemotherapy and they did a cat scan and all the scans have come back with no activity, which means the cancer is still there, but it's dormant, but it's not spreading. So that's really positive news. And she said, and I quote, if it means that I'm here to see my daughter go to school for the first day or go to her twenty first that's something I never would have thought would happen three months ago. Until they said you've got three weeks or you've got

Other end fingers ties crossed everything to the finale, sins and everything heads in the right direction. But as it sounds, that's really nice news.

Absolutely now Premium Mark McGowan has quit. He said, the pandemic, pandemic, the pandemic, which was like what came after the pandemic.

It's like the pandemic's cousin is the pandemic.

Yes, so you said that when you're that's the pandemic.

The pandemic. Oh, this pandemic is so hard.

Anyway, he said, the pandemic has really taken it out of him. He will forever be remembered for effectively shutting down his state, won't he That's what he did. W A, We're an island. No one's coming in, no one's going out.

Yeah, and over on this side of the planets, we're like, what's going on with WA? Like this guy as mad as a cut snake. But then all the Western Stralians like, we love him. Yeah. He proved a writing was.

Outrageous, unbelievable, isn't it. There is some suggestion behind.

The scenes at the Jody and Hasey Show from certain people who shall remain nameless, that he just be a touch more to this about his personal life.

That's all I'm going to say.

So I don't want to get sued by the Western Australian government.

Oh right, okay, okay, what do you mean nothing?

I do you want to hear from Mark?

Uh? No?

Good about it?

Then swiftly move along, okay.

Adda Menzel, who played Alphabet in Wicked and Elsie in Frozen, turns fifty two today.

She also fun facts.

She played Lim Michelle's Rachel Berry's mum on Glee. Did you remember that but also you cannot forget this moment when John Travolter presented her with an award.

Please welcome the wickedly talented one and only Death is welcome the wickedly talented one and only.

John, say it hard and fast, and then you'd sound like you know what you'd say.

Our Remember remember in a few months ago with the tennis name.

Yeah, just say it with confidence quickly.

But you can't just merge a people. Let us together, please walk into the stage.

But you could tell his brain process.

He was skipping forward, you could obviously see, and he's got a I don't know what that name is. So now, speaking of saying things that you know aren't possibly true, just a few minutes ago you said breaking down in your calf raa was a real onion in the ointment, and we all looked at you blankly, and when, oh god, this man's an idiot.

Yeah, you ganged up for me too. You didn't keep those feelings to yourself like you're really verbalized. It's not just yourself, but Abby, I mean you were sorry.

I feel bad actually when I give you a bit of stick, But then also you gave me stick all the time.

He's some back.

Oh my god, it's his favorite pastime.

I give you sick.

Also, I've never watched an episode, like a full episode of the Simpsons, so that that saying doesn't count. So it turns out it is an expression. So it turns out we do are you some sort of apology? It means obstacle or disappointment. So you were spot on, mate, and also once again, well done for you garnering all your knowledge from the Simpsons. Here is grandpa Abe.

Oh that's an onion in the ointment. So hang on, that's a disappointment. That's definitely saying, isn't it.

Obstacle or a disappointment? For example, the way that you to gang up on me is a genuine onion in the ointment. Better when a says it's a genuine.

Oh, that's an onion in the ointment.

Oh good guys, we're learning as we go. It's good, isn't it? Which is exciting times, isn't it. The handball Blitz we've been absolutely getting so many people to register via the Nova player to become potentially the next champion not just of South Australia but the world. Yeah, it's a good solid stepping sign.

That's cool. Yeah, baby steps.

I feel like that's a pretty natural transition to go from South Australian champ to the president of the world.

Yeah, I think so.

Handball across all the schools is just so popular. Your girls are into it.

Yeah, they're right into it, fall Square.

They play in the playground every recess, every lunch. So we are on the hunt to find South Australia's best little kid who.

Can play handball.

So why don't we do this, Hazy, let's call our first official contestant.

Hello, It's Jody and Hazy from Nova. How are you, Rebecca?

Thank you?

It's away where where. This is a bit of a strange call, but we're looking for your son. Thank you.

Hello.

Hello? Is this Kai? Kai? Our little bird told us that you are a potential champion in the making.

Yeah, so you've registered for our handball competition, Kai? Yeah?

Okay, what school you from? Athauston Primary? And what grade? Six?

Okay?

Now do you handball recess and lunch? Yeah?

Okay, how old are you Kai? I am eleven, sure you might be twenty five.

Kai.

We've got some very good news for you.

You are the first official contestant in our handball competition.

Oh really.

Yes, yes, you are.

So much.

So we're going to come out and see you today.

Oh it's very, very sick, so we're going to come out to Athleston Primary School car so we're looking forward to it. Mate. Thank you so much for registering via the Nova Player. And geez, I've got a good feeling about you. Mate, you're the og and there's some champion vibes coming out of you.

We're going to bring out a heap of handballs and heap of merch for all the kids.

So we'll see you today. Yeah cool, all right, we won't get you to take on the principal. What do you reckon? Oh yeah, yeah, on your car. We'll see you soon.

Good, Thank you, see mate, some good staff. All right, jump on the novaplayer register right now. We're going to go to out to some primary school a little bit later on today. Say hello to the guys. This is really starting to take shape.

Jeez, I hope they've got an indoor gym because it looks pretty grim out there. That's all right, And I don't do wet weather handball.

I've always said that.

I'll tell you what. So by the sounds of kay as well, he won't be hard to find. He's the kid who's got a bed and six to five guy alone. Geez, we should probably take a little bit of a trip down memory lane and recap what was such a dishonest week?

Oh?

Okay, I mean, come on.

Well, I never said I was a moral compass.

Do you know what? Do you know what the whole thing about it was. I wasn't even angry. I was just really disappointed. How many times did my dad say that to me over the years? Yeah? It hurts, doesn't it? Okay, we're talking about it. We had a little competition to open a up pay a chupper chups, which are notoriously so hard to happen. This is off the back of you speaking about it via what the Fork?

What the Fork is now segment where we take every day things and go, what the fork?

How does that happen? Why chopper chops so hard to open?

And we had a competition and you blatantly cheated.

Well with the help of Josh Morrow's the guy.

The dirty dog, Josh Moro.

In fact, I think it was his idea.

I think he said, hey, you should put like a little incision in it so it's easy for And I said, no, Josh, I.

Really don't want to cheat. Please don't make me.

Yeah, yeah, and I did. He teamed up well, Bonnie and Clyde, weren't.

You Bonnie and Clyde the chopper chop will ye.

Look, let's take a little refresher trip down memory lane, because I mean it was a really, really dishonest part of this program's short history. Welcome to the studio, camera guy, Josh, How go on, Josh? What did you tell him?

There might have been a little bit of help from me for Jody. We just decided to make a small incision in the wrapper of her chopper chup to assist.

You know, we come all.

Right, you with your sound effects over there? Do you have the sound.

Effect of a dog over I'm just going I'm going to throw my colleague under the bus.

Yes, I've reached out. I've reached out to the Committee on Committee. That's right, the international committee that accepts concerns and plants for people feel wrong' shed against Chappa Chup for late incidents.

I didn't know that they exist.

They do. Located in Denver, Colorado, established in nineteen twenty seven by Ernest Chapanowski Aker. It's quite a group. First of all, I'll take you through the letter that I said to them. Dear Committee, it saddens me to bring such a negative incident to your attention, but unfortunately my hand has been forced. Recently, I was a victim of fraudulent behavior that involved two wholesome and flavors some chopping

Okay?

And would you believe they responded almost to meet it? What in honor of the great Papa Chapper. If you don't mind, though, can you just read out the response letter? Here we go.

Dear Andrew, thanks for getting in touch and saying that how did you get our details? Anyway, it sounds like you're a real lollipop enthusiast.

Good for you, Champ.

Sure we believe the only reasonable solution to this problem is to take part in a fair and honorable rematch.

I hope this helps. It helps, indeed, and guess what. All right, let's go do it.

Do you want to do it individually altogether?

I just want the good old fashioned way. Just two comrades going at it too, chopper chops, shine on and wrap it really really quickly. Okay, no cheating, everything above board, ready to go. You stop. Watch there.

I'm glad you didn't stop it. Just two comrades going at it.

Please let me explain myself. Just a cutle of comrades going at it. Vibe what's up? Same time, the same time, same time? Okay, you caught, you caught?

So no, oh my god, come on, come on.

And I know you can't use your tea. I know you can't.

Oh oh yes, Oh she's got it. I think she's got it.

My hands are shaking.

Come on, folk, folks, I think we have a winner. Congratulation.

Oh well, I had it, and then I had was trying to get into the rear and then my hands started shaking.

Oh jeez. Well I guess I'll just enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Really really enjoy that elongated process.

To the International Committee.

Does it feel good to be a champion? Feels good? Does it feel satisfying? Yes, it does. Any other questions, now, that's okay. Just take this as a bit of a lesson. The good guy has always finished first, am I right? Abs absolutely.

Best of three to commemorate.

Best of three series.

I don't think so, I don't think together.

And also it's a little bit visual.

Time on this day, Tuesday, knowledge on this daisy. Let's go, let's do it the drill, knuckle down, listen up, don't just rup place. No, you can't go to the toilet. All right, you go to the toilet, but you got a two minute limit. Let's start in nineteen twenty eight, let's go to your neck of the woods. Oh, they found a twelve eyed fish that was cross breeding with a poodle and the poodle was relcting. I'm just joking. Cabrey's dairy milk chocolate was first produced in Tasmania at Claremont.

Yeah, see what you've done it?

And then the chocolate cross bread with some bread, and then the bread had four eyes, and then I'm just trying to some funds Tuesday.

I remember going to the chocolate factory at Cabrires when I was a kid, and it honestly felt like chill me in the chocolate factory because they would sell all the ones that were slightly imperfect. So you get to the end and get those little cabri roses for like five cents.

Yeah, those little bits of chocolate had like three eyes.

Grow up, I grow up?

Oh my god, I guess like me.

You grow up?

It's twenty three. How you grow up? How about everybody grow up? You? Particularly you driving to work? Nineteen sixty seven. Cee Lo Green was born in Atlanta, Georgia. Today is his forty eighth birthday. And there are maga and I'm like forget you.

See and driving round town, et cetera.

Yeah, all that sort of stuff. Two thousand, Mission Impossible Too had its Australian premiere in Sydney with Tom Cruise and his then wife Nicole Kidman in attendance. Complex character is Tom.

Cruise Days of Thunder and they got together.

Yeah, they were the they were probably do you reckon? They were the ultimate power couple.

Oh yeah, I think so although could you take him seriously when he was like five inches shorter than it did?

Yes, Oh that's wrong.

He used to wear lips in his shoes.

Yeah, taller with those little implants and the bottom of your heels.

Oh geez. I wondered where you were going to get.

Twenty fifteen. Doesin Fletcher from the Essen and Football plaub at the time played his four hundred and final AFL game. He was forty at the time.

I'm more Yeah, the last three or four days, and then I realized, because you get a lot of messages and even here from a lot of X teammates that's you know, you had a fever to do with in earliers.

So yeah, it's a big deal.

Actually, bonus points if you can say what his nickname was.

Is it Fletch Stretch, Stretch Dustin Stretcher, because it's really long and skinny. That makes sense exactly what I loved. And I still remember at the time that he was forty years old and people were like to caullify for the Masters games from Master's AFL, you've got to be over thirty five. Yeah, and Dustin Fletcher were still getting it done at the age of forty, but also have a.

Thinking your little brain there about all those AFL footballers who don't look like AFL footballers.

But he was one of them, absolutely right at the top. Yeah, had sticks for arms, he did.

Yes, he did.

It was built like the slender Man.

What was that Bendi man who used to you know it?

He's like a wacky whaling inflatable tube man.

That's exactly what he was like, playing four.

Hundred games for wrestling numb. One song on May thirty in two thousand and nine was a love story by Taylor Swift, enjoyed Jodie and Hagen. We're going to jump on the road very very soon thanks to our first official registration for Handball Blitz Primary School.

Lucky. We've got those really big Nova jackets to take with us. Smell a little bit odd and could do with the dry cloth, but that's okay. That's the main thing.

Character Building's like, what's all those marks on the jackets? That's character means we've been on a journey.

That's exactly right. You were on a Casanova journey back in the day.

It was original Casanova, mind you, you.

Didn't wear like your shirt.

A lot my ticket in it was no conventional ticket in did you look.

It without your shirt on? You're fired, not evenmore.

I'm a little bit sloppy. That's fine. Shut up tomorrow as well. A big show coming up, a last last opportunity to get yourself an Origin double thanks to the suburb of Origin and have it on hazy. We're going to have such a good time tomorrow night at sky City and then to the Origin.

It would be so fun drink beforehand, then just wander over the bridge where we go.

It's all right, just hanging out the district sky City and then mosey on over and then cheering for the blues.

That's quite the Wednesday night, isn't it?

Yeah, it really is all right. Also, had last day for ten k a day in May.

Oh yes quick, get on board as fast as you can. Time's running out a right.

Enjoy the rest of your tuesdays. Stress that enough, Andrew, Okay, good stuff, goodbye, take care night