Hayesy's An Uber Virgin!

If you're looking for love, if you're looking for happiness, Hell, if you're looking for Christ, this is the place to find it.

Welcome to the podcast.

I promise that there's no Christ in the podcast.

That's okay, but there's some good times.

We can guarantee that it's the least religious space you'll.

Find except for your cursing.

Except cursing.

Ask us anything, a little space where we just talked to strip off the sheet of what's the word I'm trying to say, secrecy, bail of secrecy, the veil of secrecy, and we're no question is off limits. See some doozies this morning.

Yeah, if you want to ask us anything. Breakfast at over nine on nine dot com dot.

Are you judge?

Jody got the gavel out very much in the zone.

She was Yeah, two and a half thousand dollars for a bridesmaid's dress.

Is that too much? Is the question this morning.

That is ridiculous because I didn't know that you even had to fork out cash if you're a bridesmaid.

Apparently you do.

Sometimes you do, depends on the setup and the situation and the bride and her level of bride's illiness.

And I would have thought, what fifty sixty bucks max for most dresses for a girl?

Come on, I'm not that really embarrassing.

Look, I am going through this little phase where I'm carless, so I'm riding around on my bike and I don't know what happens. But when you're in amongst the traffic as a cyclist, it consumes you and all of a sudden you feel like it's everyone else v you and it is.

No, it's not.

That's not the situation. We're all in this together. You just choose to behave like an absolute moniac?

How dare you if I pull out in front of you without any sort of notice whatsoever while you're driving and you tut me, I will try and break your windscreen wiper quite an instant with a cabby.

Yeah, that's on you, yeap.

And I had an incident with Jody Ooty as well. Oh my god, it's a little food incident.

What about your carry on? Okay?

Just I just nick a little bit of food off your plate, and goddess like World War three?

You do it once a day? Have you done it for about three or four weeks? And there's a time where I mean, who knows, I lack like this bloke in the advertiser and get myself run over with a car because I stole some chips?

Is that what you want?

Don't put that on me?

How about this as well? Listen to this little edge here and clip what song is? Okay, there's a nice little teaser. I guess the head it could be the theme song coming up.

Your chance to go along to see ed cheering at the adelaide oval enjoy.

I can't see that.

What this's happened again?

What's going on? What's the world coming to? So much?

So we'll got a little segment with all the nasty little things that are coming out of my mouth. And sometimes my brain and my mouth aren't quite connected. And by the time my brain says you can't say that, yeah, mouth like already out there, chap, Can I say.

You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Some sound advice because something you could put underneath it as you were Twitter Bio when you set up your Twitter page.

You know I'm new to the world of ubers, don't you.

Oh my god, I couldn't believe this when you reveal the other day that you've never had a noubracount.

Yeah.

I was an uber virgin what the hell until very recently, and now that I popped to cherry producer Shone got me into a uber actually, so thank you very much, sir. He's up there, cowboy. So I've had two rides in Uber now and now i think I'm all fancy right.

Oh you're going like uber comfort?

No not quite? Oh not quiet, because that's extra, isn't it.

No?

Thanks, Okay, I'm a little bit tight in that sort of space. So now that I'm an uber guy, I don't know, do you kind of move on from from caves?

Yeah?

I think so.

I think I think once you uber, it's a little tricky to go back.

Yep.

I had a little incent with a cabby coincidentally, oh my god, and it's always on the way into work.

So I'm still riding my bike.

Can you buy a car?

Just be a normal You buy me a car, your shout, your shout.

Just a normal human.

I know you lost your sports a car when you left se n and it was a very sad story and where all our hearts are breaking. However, I don't want to have to continually pick you up.

From your home a second, I can't just go buy a car. What Sorry, I left my wallet home of the funds of the bikeer.

Oh that is absolutely b yes.

Anyway, So on the way to work, and as you know, I'm of a madman on the bike, and I really take some risks now, zimming and zooming in and out of traffic. Now I've seen even at five five thirty in the morning. So there was a lovely little trade. He was trying to turn right and there was a cabby he was trying to turn right. Both going into Heinley Street has a bit of a situation where it's like you go, no, you go, And it.

Was just it was a gentleman off right if that makes sense.

Yeah, okay.

But then eventually and I was on the side waiting for this gentleman off to finish. And then the cabby got angry at the trading like called him this and that, and the trader saw it, shook his head and handled it very well, turned right.

And then left.

Yeah, And as that was happening, I went in front of the cabby thing I had time, but I didn't.

He nearly hit me again again.

How many times have you nearly been hit on?

Oh? Oh, like a cat.

That's life six. I've got three to go. And then it was my turn to cops.

Some abuse, oh from the cabby.

From the cabby.

So obviously he was very very angry. And then my brain said, right, I, without thinking, you say this, and I said to him, I get it. I know why you're angry because you're a cabby and no one uses cabs anymore.

It's all about Ubers. I thought that was very, very clever.

And then what was his reply?

Well, he how can I put this? I'm going to reword this.

But he told me to go somewhere quiet and try for a baby with myself.

Book for holiday you this summer because I was at a little different on holiday, more daring, relaxing.

Sometimes it'd be more fancy.

And what if has all kinds of accommodation to suit your style?

Get away on the what if it's Aussie for travel the guest freaking story This town is huge seventy.

So Aubrey Plaza, who played Harper, who's the lawyer married to the tech millionaire in the second series of White Lotus, has gone viral at the SAG Awards.

So this is what happened.

Hazy The thirty eight year old actually got caught losing her temper during two separate moments.

When her White Lotus co.

Stars accepted the SAG Award for Best Ensemble in a Drama Series. She was seen mouthing a couple of really rude words. What words one started with S and one started with the F word.

Slimy. I can't think slimy frogs. Slimy frogs exactly what.

She said, and she showed that her anger was pretty fleeting because she was seen partying later in the night with a heap of big names.

But yet why she said, you won, Yeah, I don't know.

There's obviously, I mean, in every situation sometimes egos get in the ways.

Sometimes they do.

And White Lotus would be one of those ones where maybe there'd be some really grander people to start there.

But the success was just bang. Yeah, it was huge, and all of a sudden that would increase some egos.

You made the startling revelation this morning that you didn't get through the second season of White Lotus first season quick unbelievable.

I'm not sure just I wasn't feeling it because do you know I connected so well.

I'm just going to rearrange that I didn't connect well with the characters, like I'm one of them, but I really like the characters in the first season. I didn't like the whole new season, new characters thing. Okay, yeah, I just got trust issues.

We can sounds like and it sounds like you don't like change, Ei, I don't like some stuff. You really need to drill down with some sort of psychotherapist.

I think just fresh hits continually for me. Thanks.

In one of the most euphoric moments from the SAG Awards ceremony, Jamie Lee Curtis won Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role, and she jumped for joy and then she grabbed her costar, Malaysian actress Michelle Yo, and planted a passionate kiss on her lips and then delivered this speech.

The actor goes to Jamie Lee Curtis, the truth of the matter is I'm sixty four years old and this is just amazing.

Where is Michelle Yo.

Okay, you say Michelle, I say Yo, Michelle, Michelle.

Okay, I'll say it.

Don't don't say what you said.

I'm saying it. No, don't sit down, mum. Come, it's a great Moment's lovely.

Why we're celebrating that gorgeous woman that he's jamiely.

Curtis what I say, Michelle, you say, yo hit at Dude's That's what it felt like.

All right.

It's not the coolest audio ever had to put it that way?

Can you remember? In twenty twenty one, Ryan Fisher was hospitalized after he was shot while taking Lady Gaga's French bulldogs for a walk in Hollywood.

That made big, big headlines over there, it made big headlines around the world.

So two of the dogs were taken in the incident, but were dropped off at a police station by a woman called Jennifer McBride around forty eight hours later. Now, according to court documents, she's now seeking the five hundred thousand dollars in reward money that Gaga allegedly promised anyone who returned the.

Pets to her. I'm not entirely.

Sure if Jennifer was responsible for stealing them in the first place and then has taken them back.

And gone, here you go, where's my reward money?

Does it work like that?

I don't think it done.

Yeah, maybe an interesting way to make some coin.

Maybe Gigar has just gone go go no, ggar go.

What about our maths? Last night, Taylor and Hugo were arguing again. So this is the Hobart nurse who's let's just we've established she's only really caring about herself on this experiment.

Have a listened to this audio.

I thought all the sisters from Hobart stood together. Maybe not.

I don't know.

I don't want to your feelings back.

You know, I'm probably not going to take that into account.

You're not going to, so hang on, You've got You've got the self awareness to recognize you don't want to hurt my feelings. But then afterwards you've made a choice, you're still not going to take them into account.

Yeah.

I think I'm on the edge of Taylor. She's likable because she's so brutally honest.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that. Poor you guys before you got I'm.

Going to roll.

It goes through acknowledge your feelings. I don't want to hurt them.

However, any emotions you are having are completely.

Irrelevant to me.

I think that's good juice.

That's how it rolls with Taylor.

At least she's open and she's honest and that was.

Joe's juice and ask us anything.

There's no question so off limits.

Get a bold breakfast at Opena on nine dot com dot au, ask us anything it produces. Sean really shines in this segment.

Don't you big fella?

Oh, it's just my favorite segment.

Big fella. If you ever call me a big girl, you're in so.

Much true big jobs is happening.

It's not a thing.

All right.

We've got four fantastic questions from our listeners today, So our first one is from Sabella at Semaphore, who said, Hi, guys, I can say I really love you. I've made the switch this year and you're both hilarious. I would just like to know what your dumbest impulse purchase has been.

Well, I dodged a bullet a couple of weeks ago because you recommended that i'd buy one of those police mops, the floor police floor, police mops.

You buying it? Two am on Dunne's director Everyone.

Yeah, And I rang them and then I got to the point where she said, what's your CVV number on your card? And I was like, I didn't have my physical card with me, so I didn't go through with it, and I think that would have been the dumbest impulse purchase.

Whoa that has changed my floor mopping life?

Has it? In what way?

My floors are so clean?

Now?

Good for you?

Still ninety dollars for a mop the shopping direct channel for double nine nine one nine. If you've actually shopped on Danno's Direct and you're a satisfied customer, is there anyone that can join? Producer Sean seems like quite a rarity. I've got a nipple piss back in the day. That was a very much an impulse decision, and many couple of mates bought a inflatable spa bath when we're about early twenties because we thought.

You know what, we get spa ba chicks comes. It's just us in the spa bath the whole time. No one ever came over. I can't believe it.

I wouldn't want to step foot.

Can you come over for a blow up spa?

The lads just having a spy would come over. Ladies, No, you're busy, Ah, they're busy boys. It's okay.

Just be asked tonight and the following night and forever more so.

Anyway, we couldn't sell that thing because it eventually sort of disintegrated and it crossed about two.

And a half grand.

Disposable spar bar.

We could have just had a bath together, including we've done the same job.

It'd be weird.

So yeah, yeah, all right.

Well what else you got there?

Moving on to the next question is Andre from Burmside. I'm sure I know the answer for a hazy, but I'd like to know what both of you think is the best.

Feature of your body.

It's an interesting one.

Or how about what do you what do you think I think is my favorite feature?

I think you'd be a big fan of your abs and also of your arms.

Oh oh, a big Fanmly calves, of course.

The calves, the big samoan calves you've got on the little.

Legs, My big samoan calves. It was so out of place. They're just trying to get it done on a body that doesn't match.

For the better part of his footbook career, those calves went, you know what we're going to do.

We're really good. What's well, We're really going to cramp up, really cramp up every.

Because we're playing too many minutes. We used to do forty minute halves. I have three thirty minute per We're done. We checked out. We hit the catch. We're watching the Broncos play.

Yeah, similar theme. I've got wood Legs's got good car. I also got good cars.

Because I'm someone who notices good calves and Joey's got good definition.

My job interview with you guys, you checked out my calves literally within the first twenty minutes.

We were speaking calves a lot in that world.

It was really weird.

Yeah, anyway, we're here.

I'm here so clearing my calves fast.

Kelly from Norwood is asked, I'd like to know from both Jodi and Hazy if you've ever shoplifted before.

Oh in court.

Oh yes.

When I was a small child, I used to collect rubbers and that's like erases.

I used to correct collect erase.

It had tasman shoplifts surprise.

And so I was down at the local news agent and I helped myself to a couple of.

Erasers for my collection. Mum found them. Where'd you get these?

And I said I, And so she made me take them back and apologize to the shopkeeper.

How was it apology?

Did you use them? Because once you've used an eraser.

You can't no use them. I didn't use them. They were just a collection, mate, what.

Because that's a raw.

Steal some lollies or something, So this is technically still stealing.

And this happened three times. If I get in trouble for this.

It was long, as we say, for some of these things. It was a different time rebel sport in Sydney.

So what we used to do.

Is because AFL balls, it's all rugby league, rugby union up there.

As you know, producer Seawan, you're from the recent States.

You would take one hundred and forty dollars sharon, an actual game ball, switch tags with a little soft Sharon's that range for about thirty bucks. They're actually good ones, the fake ones. You'd put that one on the actual ball, take it up and poor little lady, who was probably not knowing how much a share would be, would just swipe it through.

Thirty dollars sir.

And then one time we got caught. But you've got a plan B. That's it's not supposed to be. They're actually one hundred and forty dollars. And he did say, really, yeah, I did think that was a bit cheap. Yeah, anyway, you have a great day.

Did you buy it?

Yeah?

We did it three times. Oh god, that's a nice little collection of genuine sharings.

There you go, reveel the reason why you're not making any profits because he's trying.

To screw you over, or may not have happening. I might be going to jag.

Can I do the court story?

Can your doors stop me at the front of the courthouse?

Yes?

Yeah, my face. And our final question is from Nicky from Mount Barker. Now she's asking for a friend.

Yes, but I really want to know what type of sleep where you both wear to bed.

I'm a big Peter Alexander fan, and I liked the like just the T shirts and the little shorty.

Shorts, you know, yeah, yeah, I can see that.

Sometimes just a pair of bonds nickers. When I really want to shake things up.

I can't see that.

Sure, I can't see that, or you don't want to see it.

I don't want to see that.

Maybe both for me. It's a nude oxygen tent?

What what what you sleep nude?

No one's getting that. Come on, when I throw this gold out there.

Simpson Scandal update, Homer leaps new to then oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual power.

True.

Come on the oxygen tent never heard? You should try it, John, You can sleep in your own oxygen tent.

Okay, thank you? Can you tell me you heard the time machine that.

On this Daisy Tuesday, the twenty eighth of February.

You know the drill. Let's take a little trip where memory lane. All right, I'm driving.

Nineteen eighty four, Michael Jackson won eight Grammy Awards.

Is Michael Jackson.

And we all sat back in thought, and this kid's got potential. I could possibly go wrong everything. Two thousand and three of the Astraining cricket team won by a record two one hundred and fifty six runs defeating nem Ibia.

Jesh oh Well taken touch an excellent catch. I'm Recki pine in catch number seven for him in the tournament.

So far?

Have an onslaught that day?

Wasn't it?

Is it?

Namibia or nam Ibia?

Nam Ibia?

Namibia the sports of Automate.

You're the you're the ambassador for the Namibian cricket team. Obviously, what I do like about Namibia and their cricket team, much like it was for your Tasmanian softball team back in the day. It is open tryouts for the Namibian cricket team. Ham we got here eleven.

That'll know.

Are you saying, Are you saying I didn't earn my place in the under sixteen Tasmanian football team?

Is that what you say?

What I'm saying is that I just feel like the selection criteria at the Tazzi softball team was a little more open and loose than it was in the Eastern States. Okay, okay, how'd you guys go by the last you got smashed in?

Yet?

Well you're a little wolf fierce in New Southwest?

Okay, true? Good good twenty thirteen.

The brains are too rats successfully connected so that they share information.

That you and Robbie corn There's.

So many different sort of pass you can go down there. I mean, my rat mates, just connect me up for a giant mega rat brain.

Good, isn't it? Twenty sixteen.

Leonardo DiCaprio when he's first and only Oscar for Best Actor Motion Picture Drummer, he nabed the Trophies role in the Revenant.

And the Oscar goes to Leonardo to Capria.

There go Leo.

So that's one of those films where he finally got given the oscar.

There was probably his preat's work to be honest.

In What in the Beach? Yeah, what's heat in Gilbert Grape? Yeah, yep, inception look at mego was by the.

Movie buff Leo obsessed?

Yeah, who isn't?

And then I want someone for twenty eight, two thousand and nine, right round by flow Rider.

It's not a bad banger.

Let's let's get around it with Brodes Tuesday. Hello Jody Hayden.

As the judge adjusts her glasses.

Down her nose to make her look self look even more important.

Very professional look going on, and men, last time I was at court as well, the judge was wrapped in a blanket. That's the pain, little visual. It's got cold in the studio, very cold. JODI's found herself a nice little blanket.

Well, thank good go on, Dahl, give us your ruling.

Thank goodness.

Bloody camera guy Josh took his cat jacket out because that was making everyone's sneees.

Headyway, okay, do.

You judge Jody? I need your help.

My best friend of twenty two years is getting married, and I feel honored that she has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding beautiful love that for her. The happy couple have been trying to have a baby through IBF, so to assist them financially, the bridal party all agreed to pay their own way and as they still haven't been able to conceive. However, my issue is the dress that the bride has chosen for the bride'smaids is gulp. Two five hundred dollars cool. The other two

That is a tricky one.

I completely feel for Katie because I do have a question though. Firstly, for bride'smaids and bride'smaids dresses, why can you only wear it once?

I mean it's not white, so can't you wear it again? Is that just the pride thing?

It just depends. It depends on the style of it.

Like bridesmaid's dresses are quite over the top most of the time, like.

The frilly arms and yeah, glitter, glittery stuff coming off and things like that.

Oh God, don't ever speak fashion again. Please, don't ever speak female fashion again.

Thin pink and purple mixed.

Embarrassing for you, it's nice, okay.

I completely understand where Katie's coming from for this, because my daughter is very talented at dance and she had her end of season concert and they didn't even ask us if what we wanted to do about costumes. They just sent us a bill for six hundred dollars, six hundred dollars for three costumes that she will never wear again. I can guarantee you that.

So then what happens if you don't pay? She just can't participate.

She can't participate in the concert.

Are you going to do that to a nine year old who's been building up the whole year to a dance concert at the end of the year. You're going to say to her, no, darling, you can't because mummy is too tight to pay six hundred bucks for your costumes.

Well, not for my kids, but for your kids.

AnyWho.

Twenty five hundred dollars, I'm sorry, is far too much. I think that's far too much to ask your brother, right, it's got.

To add me in the newsroom. Abs, what do you reckon?

I've been a bride's made three times in my life and I've never worn.

The dress again. Haven't you really never worn the dress again?

And I'm trying to think why, but I just they all three of them are still in my wardrobe.

Well, because it's so specific, do you think or is it aprizing? You're like, nah, once it's done.

One of them is very wedding e so I couldn't wear it again. There was a little black one that I wore to my sister's which I could probably wear again, but it's just it's still there. So yeah, two and a half grand unless you're a celebrity, no way too much. Go and find something cheaper.

I have the same issue.

I wore a beautiful dress and when I was a bridesmaid for one of my best friends, she said, you can wear whatever you want as long as it's sort of, you know, in keeping of the style of the wedding, and that was fine.

I've never worn that.

Again because I might have tripped in the vineyards on the way back to.

So there's some nasty memories attached.

It kind of might have been ripped beyond repair.

Okay, well, so all of a sudden you ripped me, oh whoops, and then it was just like thigh coming from You're accidentally sexified.

It up.

Thirteen twenty four to ten. We need some jurors involved in this. Have you been a bridesmaid? Have you been made to pay an exorbitant amount of money for your bridesmaid's dress?

Will you ever wear your bridesmaid's dress again?

Have you tripped along a vinyard? I'm sure you've rest beyond belief, beyond recognition.

Beyond repair they've done. Now I'm not the only one, surely, am I?

All right, potentially, we'll see what comes through.

Let's get some jurors involved in this one.

Leanne from Craigmore, two thy five hundred dollars SEMs a lot, don't you think?

Oh?

Absolutely, Janie, good morning. I just think that if she was paying for those dresses, there's been no way that she'd been paying two thousand, five hundred dollars.

Oh yeah, yeah, so you think she's taking the mickey?

Absolutely she is. There's absolutely no way she would fork out that money.

All right, Okay, thank you, Lianne, Sarah from Parafield Gardens, Good morning.

Good morning. My story is long solos to the end part of it. Basically, my friends were getting married and we spent hours with his addresses. Finally found the perfect one. I've got a photo the next day. She said to me, sorry, Sarah, you go look better than me on the wedding days. So they care for the wedding. They gas your party after dark. Ramie said, let's buy the dress and bread. So I bought the dress and bread instead of blue. And I've worn that dress three times.

Oh god, why to make lemonade and out of lemons? There, Sarah, that's outstanding. Oh god, I'm not surprised they cancel the wedding if you if your bride's.

Going, oh she can't wear that, She's going to look better than me on the wedding day.

Yeah.

Then I just don't know if you're doing it for the right reasons and what sort of headspace you mean if you're concentrated on things.

Like that, exactly right?

What all my groups look better than me?

You're wearing Peter Shearer, Peter Jackson.

Come on, sorry, man. Just The casual after party was sponsored by.

Harrick that's some good food back from our jurors. Yeah, but I'm going to stick with my original ruling on this one.

Okay it before we get that as well.

Text line very busy for nine nine nine, my nine this one. No way should she be expected to pay two and a half thousand dollars. I'd be mad if my best expected me to pay anything more than two hundred.

That's from Jess and Elizabeth. Yeah, you hear.

Jess and Dan from Peraka, however, says if the bride'smaids agreed to pay, that's on them.

I wouldn't.

I might have agreed and then gone, but hang on, I wouldn't have agreed if it was two and a half grand.

Yeah, no chance.

And that, my friends, brings me to my very official ruling.

Two thousand, five hundred dollars is far too much to spend on a bride'smaid's dress, and I would be refusing and opting out of the wedding.

Okay, there you go. That is official. Thoughts on that send us another texto for double nine one nine. In the meantime, maybe just hang out and have a look at the socials, because producer Sean just passed me a note he said, Jodi looks like the virgin Mary, and I said, Sean, I'm not going to say that, but here we are.

He might get it up on socials.

No, if there's much virginal things about me.

Well, well, well look what I'm reading in the paper would have thought extraordinary, age six. It's probably something you should take a bit of.

A look at. Joe's to be honest.

Okay, but we've had our issues, and by issues, I mean issue, and that is you stealing food off my plate continuously. And I used a giant example of a gluttony a few days ago where we both ordered food at the same time and mine came out just a little bit quicker than yours, and.

Thought, I just have a little nible of yours, and she said not that, so before comes.

Out it was a little bit hungry.

Really really grinds my gears.

And I really stand accused of putting my whole head in your plate, which I completely and utterly reject and resent that accusation.

At one stage, I think you took a bite out of the plates. It's just too far nibble of your food and also the plate, and I think you got.

My shoe too.

It was like, for God's sake, I need all this sort of stuff. Page six of the Advertiser today. I'm just going to read the first line of this article on a woman attempted to mow down her partner with her car after he made the mistake of asking for one of her chips from a chicken pack. See it happens, and that's what it leads to. Channel nine got the s bloke as well through a chip out of a half chicken and chips solid pack she had.

I thought she was finished. Yeah, I shouldn't have asked for the chips. It goes both mate.

Oh mate, We certainly don't condone this behavior of attempting to mow down your partner in your.

Car, of course not. However, if ever there was a motive exactly, that's it.

It was a matter of time before something like this was going to happen. So, I mean, thirteen twenty fourteen, we've got exclusive advice to give to Novous Red Room. Is it about time we really genuinely take a stand because chips, in particular, one chip leads to two chip, it leads it three chips, and all of a sudden your half chip's gone.

Yeah, and all of a sudden, you're getting mowed down a car.

They're a valuable commodity of the chip, aren't they.

Are you learning a lesson?

I just feel like I just feel like your reaction is extreme.

I felt like your reaction was extreme to me. Still on your feet.

I'm not about to promise you sure.

Are you sure?

Because I'll be watching my back when I walk through the car park after the show.

Don't still watch it.

It's been a big show. Looking forward tomorrow as well.

Big show tomorrow. Ross Noble's going to join us.

More chances for first class and fifty k Ed Sharon tickets.

It's all there.

Got anything for me?

I just jump on the podcast and have a bit of a listen and just have some fun. And also the key word from This Morning Girls, this players too.

Players to