FULL SHOW | Jodie's 'Mum Porn'

See a big coffee, settle into your seats. Jody and Hazy Madealee's favorite way to wake up.

I mean we say it each and every Monday, but thank god it's there, you know what I mean?

Like Eve and I spent the whole weekend going what are we going to see each other again? When are we going to do our radio show.

I didn't drag and just drag like sat down. I was like, Oh, I go on, hurry up, I'm gonna go a bit early. Yeah, it's a Sunday. Can hurry up and we can fly through that and get to Monday morning.

Here we are, job and I want to ask you how your weekend is, but I already know the answer to that question.

You just work both days. So that's ooh boring.

Oh I did work back days and very much a mixed bag. On the footy front, cos were magnificent Crows.

I'm telling you, look the goods this season.

Yes, so you reckon, let's just hold fire. You can't get a good read against the kild It it would.

Seem that's true. Yeah, that's true.

How we killed a supporters. Sorry about that, but I think your team much capage.

Conversely, Port Adelaide just had a really tough day on the park against the Pies.

It was only ninety one points.

Yeah, okay, only I didn't see the whole game.

But according to my mother Colleen, did Colin wand kick ten goals in a row.

At one point?

Well? Probably that sounds about right. Oh, that sounds about sort of Collingwood and a third forty quartersh type.

Setup sort of vibes right.

Okay.

How was your weekend?

Yeah?

It was lovely things. You had a ball on Saturday night.

As in like you went to a ball like I had a ball.

No, I went to a ball and rule. It was a bit of an incident that I'll talk about in just a moment. Oh no, where I nearly cost myself dearly?

Oh boy, I will explain a ball incident. Okay, just leave it at that.

It's a great big ball incident.

Could be so many different things, ye produce them. Only. How are you feeling good? Weekend? Yeah?

Good?

Good?

What did I do? Was the engagement party? Mate? I told it was it more? Just forty five minutes from your house and very time. Good to see Ryn. I went to a pet shop or some animals.

That was cute.

That's good.

Was there an intent to buy a pet hole? I just had to get some stuff.

But every time I go there, I want to be one of those freaks that has, you know, seven chickens, three horses, two dogs.

That's my real dream. Okay, but you live in.

An apartments, yes, swee. Do you think you're going to keep the horses? Look time up at the front. It's not the old Western anymore. Up your horse at the front needs a.

Stable, definitely does.

Oh what about this? It's the final week to get yourself exclusive invitations for Nova's read around featuring Silk. Friday Night is happening Friday night.

That crypt two Friday nights in a row from me. He will I survive?

Fantastic? All right, So exclusive invitations. First batch is coming up before seven o'clock. We've got some port Adelaid tickets to give away this morning as well for their clash against Richmond at Adelaide over this weekend and coming out next jokes tell us, tell us.

What's going on the ball incident? Oh yeah, so you e everything? Oh my gosh, everything you need to know.

You didn't get carried away in some sort of spot, did you? No? Well, it didn't almost open up, did it?

I certainly almost had.

To, okay, open up to us. Next place, it's Jodian Hazy. Well, someone was fancy on the weekend, went to a ball, ladd I did.

I had a girl's night out, went to with my little crew from Channel ten. Went to the A and Z Community ball. They had one of those live auctions.

Hazy, No, they're dangerous. They're so dangerous because you're trying to press everyone around you.

Yeah, well no, that's not necessarily me.

I'm what you were doing. What you were just flapping the wallet can bags.

I definitely was not doing that. In fact, I wasn't paying enough attention. So what happened was we got up to one of the auctions items. I think it was like item number ten, So we were fairly deep in the auction, and I think it was like a premium wins for a year plus a dining experience for twelve people with Chonglo or something. Anyway, it was worth twenty five thousand dollars. Bear in your mind, this money goes to charity, so you know, takes right off and all

Auctioneer's got sharp eyes for arrant hands in the air.

Bronze Manuel, Don't worry, he was onto it because at the point where I put up my hand for some more savvy b he has looked in the crowd and pointed at me and gone, Jody, And I'm what just happened?

Do you know where the bid was at at this point? Sixteen thousand dollars? Sixteen thousand dollars?

So I start, don't clut that, don't cut that. Can you imagine me going home to my husband and saying, I spent sixteen thousand dollars, which I don't have, by.

The way, on a dining experience.

Oh yeah, goodness.

So I start frantically going, no, I just wanted to order the more stabby beaks.

Did you cancel us? Or do you sit there and just pray to the heavens that someone out bids you.

Someone out bid anyway. But at that point when he saw my panic stricken face, he knew that I was not the real deal.

Yeah. Do you remember when I went to that charity event and I was sitting next to our Dan from the Hilltop Poodz.

Oh, yes, you've told this story.

Remember the time I went to a ball and I was sitting next to the guy from Hilltop Hoods.

Yeah, my mate Dan. Next time I saw I was like, yeah, I'm make good to see and he was like nice to meet him. Like, what about the night we shared together? He ended up buying a tiny it was a genuine tinny for about ten grand that night.

That is unbelievable.

Yes, And I think he was seen next to his wife and she was just shaking her head. And I remember we'd have these nights at the Central District Footy Club and obviously the players would get a few bruise

Oh, that's so gross. I think my husband would have been more pleased if I had have come home with a big Pepperoni sausage. I supposed to sixteen thousand dollars worth of fine dining.

The following segment is mature audiences only and may contain how all content, graphic language and nudity, not that you'll see it if it easily offended, Well, you're about to find out just how.

Easily your father's only money.

Jo six.

That risk, stuff that blewis stuff before we straighten out about seven o'clock. That's what this is all about.

And I most definitely woke up this morning and I thought I really need to talk to Hazy about bionic WILLI she do.

Thank you for getting this off your chest, Joseph, Thank you for sharing. I think it's a space we can all learn from.

You are so welcome.

Okay, So more than six hundred men were given bionic Willy operations.

In the UK last year. Now, when I talked to you, about bionic willies. Do you know what they are?

Well, I'm thinking like some sort of fake Willie.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, pretend Willie.

How do I know so much about it?

Okay, So this is basically a last resort. So if viagra hasn't helped you, then this is the type of operation that is for you.

It sounds gross. So flexible rods are put into the organ, which allow the man to bend it into place.

In another operation, a water pump, I repeat, a water pump is placed in the scrotum to pump up the peter.

Where the first one's okay, first one, You're down for a flexible rod in you willy?

The first one is funny enough. I mean imagine in that situation, particularly if you're a young lady, you're a young man, You're like trying to please you, but and you're like, what's going on? You're not into me? Like, hang on a second, hang on a second, let me just bend it into place. Now do you think I'm interested?

Yeah, hang on, hangy, hangout. Just let me get my water pump so I can put it in my balls.

What an arousing moment?

What is not sexy about this whole situation. The problem with this though, the procedure costs around nine thousand pounds. I don't know what that is in Australian, but that doesn't sound cheap.

It could be what fifteen sixteen thousand dollars?

Yeah, so what about this though?

The average age of the man having the procedure was fifty seven.

Oh gosh, why do you have to bring your dad? And he's really into it?

The old rod in the penis for mister mullets. Jo, job, job, that is a good job, Monday, Jo, that's the best. Don't start your work week just a little injection of humor. Oh yes, we'll do our best to provide it for you.

That's what we like to do on a Monday morning.

Joining us is producer Molly, who is truly awful in this space so much you're going.

To bring us down again. Produce Molly, clean up the basis. All right, what have you got? So you're telling your best dad jokes? Sure sharp? Those ones sort of leave you rubbing your forehead, your two fingers, you know, like, what are we doing?

Yeah?

All right, here we go.

We've learned to put you first, just to get it out of the way.

Yeah, yeah, did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They age got six months?

I get it. Do you get a joke? Yeah, I'm sorry about that jokes. Get yourself back up. Okay, it's okay. Life. So that's all about is?

That is all that? That is?

So you guys might know this about me. But I started up a dating service for chickens.

True story. But I was struggling to make hen's meat.

That's also a very joke. He's quite there's chickens involved in my joke. What about this? Little Johnny lives on a farm with his family, and his mother asks if he's done his chores. He says not yet. His mother tells him, well, no breakfast until you do your chores. Now, this is really quite annoys Johnny. So he goes to feed the chickens and he kicks one of the chickens. He goes to feed the cows, and then he kicks one of the cows. And then he goes to feed

I need to know.

I need to know.

I need to know what news today to know.

He's what you need to know.

You know what you need to know with Jody and Hazy.

Yeah, let's talk about Sam Jones. Excuse me, excuse to play the wombats. Ah, that's what you're doing all yours jokes.

I was like, is there a band called Sam Jones that I don't know about?

There's mister giants.

Oh yeah, that's true. Okay, so we spoke about this last week.

She got into all sorts for posting video of her picking up and taking away a baby wombat from its mother last week.

That video has since been deleted. She wrote on social media media.

I want to make it absolutely clear that this was never about social media or getting likes. This was not stage, nor was it done for entertainment.

Okay, okay, can I just say something. She's an influencer. Everything that influence do. Influencers do is about getting and attention.

So thousands signed an online petition calling for her to be immediately deported from Australia and to bar her from ever returning. She's left, but she's left in a blaze of glory because she has had this to say about our Australian government.

Was an incredible mistake and there hasn't been a moment I haven't regretted it. The same government that is calling for my head is the one that spends millions of your tax dollars to mass slader in need of Australian animals.

Good one, Sam, And do you feel a bit like in this instance it's like you can tee off on your own family, but no one else can. So you can have a crack at your own mum, but no one else can have a crack at your mom. It's like that with the Australian government. We can see off on them, we can do that, yeah, but.

You can't all of a sudden in a situation like this, like, well, hang on just a second. I know we were slagging the government not long ago.

But how very he's our elbow, right, leave them alone.

I don't know too much about this. You're obviously a farm boy. So this whole culing situation, well, I.

Think she's more so talking about native animals like kangaroos and possibly amys. We're in a very unique situation in this country where our coat of arms and our national animals, I think a kangaroo is almost in some parts considered it best. So for example, when you go back to America, Sure they're not culing and eating bald eagles, are they No, and some of the other national animals around the globe.

I don't think you'll be back anytime soon, but anyway the home of As Minister Tony Burk said in this statement on Friday, there has never been a better day to be a baby warmbat in Australia.

Spot on once again. But do you know and you know me, Joe, it's I love influencers. I have nothing but love and respect for every single influencer since when since never you're talking about Joe, you's got to be fancy.

On the weekend, I got a little bit fancy, went to a ball on Friday night at the Adelaide Oval, but also stayed at the Adelaide Oval Hotel.

I want to do that.

Yeah. So for me that was absolute mumporn because basically I could be out a function and then when I've had enough, I could be from the function in my bed asleep within about sixty seven minutes. And then I was just pondering over the weekend, I thought, that's my mum porn. There are a whole host of things that get us mums just a little bit overly excited. Do you want to hear them.

Oh yes, please, Here we go.

Go to the.

Supermarket and there's a human to scan your groceries for you, discovering there's one Magnum left on a Monday night. Is the latest episode of White Lotus drops? The itch on your kid's head is dry, scalp not lie. You unpack all your kids lunchboxes and every single one is empty. The Saturday morning heat policy keeps in.

There's no scool sport, clean sheets, a great book, a cup of tea, a convenient headache, and two melowtonin tablets and it's only eight seventeen beer.

It's mum porn.

Oh my god, I think I get that too as well. My wife has certainly got someone'satch. She's got the audio books going oh yeah, right, just cruising around the house and which does things like that, like, oh yeah, she's experiencing mum porn. Is that what that is? So good?

Get dad porn? Maybe we can be Is it that tomorrow?

Oh maybe? I think it's a very very different area. Hopefully it's not more literal. But I understand what we're saying because my experience in one porn, maybe some dad porn as well. On the weekend with the cancer sports Oh how good was it?

Oh?

Yes, the email came through and said, oh oh yeah, thank you for educating us.

There so welcome.

You were made to meet half Way Expedia.

We're made to plan where Halfway is Expedia.

Made to travel La Vegas Red Room Global Tour powered by Expedia.

Let's go.

It's all powered by Expedia. Every time that we've spoken about this, Joe's we run through the checklist of this tour and just go this is ridiculous.

Yeah.

Can you imagine actually getting that.

Call from Ricky, Lee, Tim and Joel for four o'clock on a Friday.

And please Andrew Hayes, Welcome to the studio.

A girl who got that call last Friday, and her name is Cassie from Seacliff and she joins us.

Now, so what what was going through your mind when you picked up the phone.

Oh well, I didn't believe it because I could hear Ricky lead him a job speaking about the competition they're about to call the winner. And then I thought, well, obviously I didn't win. And then no cool id pops up of my in my car and I was like, no way. My jaw dropped I was like, no way. It took me like five newly ten seconds. I was like, oh god, I need to answer now. And I quickly answered.

And I still don't. I still feel like I wasn't sunk in. It's crazy.

We were not about to tell you that it's a hoax. Please don't know it's legit.

Yeah.

Yeah, So of all these concerts, Gracy Abrams live in Auckland, Dean lawis in LA and then Jellyroll post Malone to cap things off.

In Las Vegas, what has got you most excited? Oh, it's so hard to pick.

I mean they're all amazing.

I mean de looks amazing, Gracie Abrams is just insane.

Post Malone as.

Well, though, Yeah, be so cool.

They're so cool, all of them are. And so who are you going to take?

I'm going to take my partner Okay, So he's super excited as well.

Yeah, God, especially for post Malone. I feel like, yeah, and how did you break the news to your family?

So I had my mother in law. She I told her I was super excited. I was hoping I'd win this competition show. All my fingers are toes crossed, and she so I replayed the radio recording to her, but I told her like, oh I hope, I wir like I was pretending like I didn't know. And then she got to listen to me win and she lost it because she was thinking to herself, oh, you already know, because they would have already called you. It's like half an hour in front. But yeah, then she absolutely lost it.

Which is really cool.

Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, might be Yeah, a guzy situation like this. I always think of the lucky partners. So your partner right now gets to go on this ridiculous music.

I know absolutely nothing in your scenario.

This has to be worth what i'd say, a billion Brownie points. Hi, Like, you're in charge in our cast. Yeah, probably were in charge before, but you're extra in charge now.

Yeh, super in charge.

Well, Cassie, we're so excited for you. It's going to be absolutely incredible. You have to send us lots of photos, Okay, oh.

I definitely, well, definitely.

Have the time of your life.

I don't know how you couldn't with all these absolutely epic performances. So well done, Thank you, Clazy Seal section.

Yes, this is a great little opportunity for everyone just to catch up and maybe talk about some of those topics where I'd say somewhat off limits, you know, not your stock standard conversations that you'd hear around the office to oomate.

Yes.

Tip one from ten years first joins us in the studio for her sealed section segment.

Good morning morning. I would say, we do these topics in our officeto. We do it quite regularly.

Hey, guys, truthfully limits keep things differently there over channel ten, don't you.

We have conversations that had to be heard to be believed.

All right, Some times are like less that stuff, more new stuff like no no.

No no no no no no no no no, that's not what we're here for. Okay, would you like to open up the sealed section please?

Here?

Regard a little envelope here passed me that. Yep, here we go. Watch out there, hang on, Oh got I didn't need to use a knife. But here we are.

We are.

The topic today is the male contraceptive pill. Yeah, so a contraceptive pill for men is on the horizon after early human trials found it to be saved up until now. As you well know, Andrew Hayes, the primary male birth control options have been condoms or of aseectomy. That's been your two choices. So the drug this is how it works.

That interfeeres with the vitamin A signaling which is necessary for sperm production.

Okay, So the question is would you take a male contraception pill?

To me?

Would you trust yourself each and every day to take this pill at the same time?

And that part it's very important?

Okay, fellas, I need some help please, thirteen twenty four ten. Are you a male? Would you take a contraception pill? I would, but I would need my wife to be very diligent.

With it, mate, because I'm hopeless.

If I can admit to you, Joe's I'm hopeless in this space. I have to feed the cat every night, every single night I get into bed night. It's about shut my eyes and cargoes. If you've had the cat and I got that bloody hell, why are you have you fed him?

So this is this is a man Tiff who find honestly has to be given an allowance each and every week because he can't be he cannot be trusted with money. Rever Kara, would your wife car and given you've got three children, ever trust you to take a pill and prevent more little hat children.

Okay, let let's not link that the contraception like I'm some sort of sicko who's breeding kids everywhere? All right, but I look at it would be a struggle. I would say for blokes, what would be a bit of a tricky situation is someone who was single. What could you trust a bloke if they were single you didn't know them very well? And the bloke said, and the bloke said, no, I'm on the contraceptive pill. No, I don't believe it because I feel like if you're a

Would you trust your partner to take the male contraceptive.

Trusting my partner prepared for angel? Yeah, but would he be prepared to do it?

Yes?

Okay, hey, jel, I didn't ask him that he would if I was like, I'm sick of I'm on the contraceptive pill for the ladies.

Yes, and I have been since dinosaurs walked to the earth.

If and I said I'm fed up of this, I don't want to do this anymore, yeah, he would. But I'm so I like to call it preganoid, like paranoid getting pregnant. That I will take that pill every day religiously, to the point where, like if I think I've forgotten to take it older home and check done before.

Yeah, right, just just in cases, because I just feel like, like morally, I would like the boys to take responsibility. But then the question is can you trust them? Because we've had a lot on our plate for a very long time. So we have our periods, and then we have our babies, and then we stop having babies, and then you have the perimenopause, and then you have the menopause.

And you're not even reproducing humans anymore.

What's going on?

Do you know?

Do you know what I mean? It's a lot.

Yeah, I'd see. Okay, I'll say this, if there were blokes, there would be certain blokes in situations who would forget to take the pill. Absolutely, they can guarantee that, but it's not through it's not through intent. I don't think blokes would choose not to take it. It's because of idiots.

Well, girls can forget too, but for me, I've been drilled into it from my Catholic education or girls school that you cannot have grown up cuddles or you will get pregnant and die.

Yeah, so it's like ingrained in me.

But fellas don't have that. Don't you think they're getting off lightly with just taking a pill? Like the different contraception that we've had to endure over the journey have involved.

Injecting things and putting things in places right.

Row thirty not good places no thirteen twenty four ten. Get involved in the conversation. Would you trust your partner to have the male contraceptive pill? We'd love to hear from you.

This morning's different fellas as well, thirteen twenty four ten. Would you take a contraceptive pill? Because it's a new thing for blokes and we've had it easy for a long long time, Should you have all right lovey to get involved in this thirteen and twenty four ten. A bunch of our passes as well to the big WEDGGI up for grabs, give us a call thirteen twenty four ten really easy seal section. The envelope has been cracked,

Oh, there certainly is.

They've done a twenty eight day trial involving fifty men. It's currently underway, and they're saying that the best case scenario would be a pill for use and compliance. Let's just make it real simple for you, blokes, because let's be honest, there's not a lot of trust in this space for your ability.

Do you take a pill at the same time each and every day?

Having said that, like that, okay, finally you've got to start thinking about this.

Yeah, it's refreshing.

That's a good thing. Two four from ten years First, you said you definitely trust your partner in the space to take it each and every day. But is that because you know that you would enforce him to, or if you had to go somewhere for a couple of months, do you trust that he'd be able to do it.

I don't know.

I don't know. It's your private life.

We're taking your calls this morning. Would you trust your partner to take the pill. And if you're a bloke, would you be prepared to do it? Would you put your hand up and go? I'm going to take some of that responsibility off you, ladies. Let's go to Teresa from Value View. Hey, good morning to Reason.

Hey, how are you going okay? Is there trust in this space with your husband?

Definitely not.

There is no way I would trust my husband to take a contraceptive pill when he forgets to take the bins out.

Yeah, but that's something once a week. Yeah, Well, things he forgets that are important to So there.

Is no way I'll be trusted there.

There Isn't it said that we don't like feel like the men in our lives have enough brain capacity to be able to take a single.

Sod with your Theresa, we're going to send you off to the big WEDG. Thanks for you call.

All right, there you go. So I feel like this is a really really good thing, Like it's a good thing that we're going down this path. But I also feel like as a bloke, and what we all agree on is that blokes or idiots make sure that we can.

Be trusted in this place, and yet their father children cares they forget to take that pill.

Yeah, okay, very interesting conversation. Thank you so much for coming in this morning on so welcome. I'm sorry you had all that.

Traffic on.

Again this time next week.

I believe.

Hey, have you ever wondered what makes a name sexy?

Oh?

Yeah?

Have you?

Absolutely?

Okay, so and you study has revealed that men whose names start with a D excuse me or at tea are the biggest hotties, while for women it's names that begin with an M for producing molly or j.

You made that not even it feels like you.

Set the information.

I hardly read it.

I don't know what you thought produce a Molly. But when he sent it through, I thought, Hayes is trying to say that we're sexy.

I mean I personally felt that way.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say. Ladies, are you sure that this is true? Can I test it on you? O? The jokes go on? So what do you say? D is it is the name that really really gets you? Happened about?

Is it right?

You ready? What is that working for? Kay? What about this derm?

It?

I just speak Barrison, this Darryl Dazer.

Okay, I got a couple more for you, Dwayne in any spots?

Have you ever met any hot Dwayne?

Ever?

Better Dwayne?

To be fair from Dwyne the Rock Johnson. Finally, what at the said Dennis? Dennis just got a ship?

What was it?

Not a good one? Is there like an ex tennis It just sounds like someone who's very old or very young.

Dennis a menace.

I've actually just worked out, based on that theory, our entire team. So we got camera guy Josh, Boss Josh and sound guy Todd All Jay's and T's.

It all fits this criteria, Jodi.

The only person not to fit into the criteria was the one who sent through the bloody study.

And that's Andrew Hayes.

Thank you very much. That's nice, isn't it? Can we all agree? Is it just me? Can I claim to the unsexiest name on the planet? Andrew is not sexy?

It's not that bad.

It's shocking.

Oh Andy slightly better? And but do you know who's responsible for calling you Andrew the unsexiest name in the world is the other un sexiest name in the world, and that's dear it jagging