Hello, and welcome to the podcast. This is the space where you can talk about your childhood trauma. What did your parents say, No, you can't have that. All the other kids have got it, but you can't have it. Colleen did that to me a lot, in the form of giving me fake items that weren't the real thing.
Yeah, and that's why you've got such awful fashion sense. Now. Oh wow, it's a rich come for me, isn't it.
Yeah?
It was really rich.
A lot of times I turn it with Andy's on my head. He's very early.
You missed out on something as a kid that it has just had has to be heard to be believed.
Astonishing stuff.
Yeah, every child on the planet has played this game, but you haven't.
I'll give you a hint. Let's go back to one of the greatest movies of all time and you must be the Monopoly guy. Hey, thanks for the free worker. What is he talking about? I don't know.
The best part of Aventur is like, do I have something in my teeth? And he's literally got like a whole cup.
Didn't care at his best. I enjoyed the podcast. Thanks so much for everything. We appreciate it. Things that you were deprived of as a kid, got one in twenty four to ten.
Hang on, I can hear that trauma bubbling to the sal.
I don't know if it was trauma. I just didn't know what I'd missed out on. Okay, So Henry has been banging on my five year old son about playing Monopoly for the last couple of weeks, and then it occurred to me, I have no idea how to play Monopoly. At no stage at all during my childhood did we play in Monopoly.
Se.
This surprised me because you grew up on a farm in the middle of absolutely nowhere.
Excuse me, where do you think I was born, like in the central of Australia.
Well, no, it was walk Walker might as well have been as.
This is from someone who grew up in Tasmania giving stick to the mainlanders. Oh that's brave.
At no point did mister and missus Hayes go we got nothing to do tonight, Let's let's drag out the Monopoly board game.
No, because we had to go to bed. Everyone at five.
O'clock with the cows.
With the cows, had to milk the cows, put the sheep away, and we'd have dinner in bed. By five o'clock we all slept.
Yeah, and then you curled up with your little pet rattlesnake.
We're doing't don't put these vibes on me. I do this to you because her tas Maine heritage. Don't try and put it back to me. It feels nasty too, is what it feels like.
This is called karma. Is my boyfriend exactly?
So even when I was like third and or four am and we're watching Ace van Dura, Yeah, an absolutely smash. That was a particular saying where he runs into a bloke who looks like apparently the Monopoly guy, and.
You must be the Monopoly guy, thanks for the.
Free and I'm with my mates were like I'm laughing along. Yeah, that's so funny. My brain's like, shut up, mate, you have no idea what's going on? Shut up brain, just going that I've got friendzy here.
So you've never to this day played Monopoly?
No, wow, My wife I've taught me and now Henry, well she taught Henry. Now almost my five year old sons teaching me. We're playing the junior version, right, but we're playing a lot of Monopoly, Okay.
I missed out on a few things.
When I was a kid, we went overly wealthy, and so my mum used to buy generic brands of stuff. So I don't know if you can remember the added as roam shoes with the three stripes down the side. They were blue and white. Every kid at school had them.
Not Little joe'ster Oh yeah, the four struck. I had the four strip with the velcro across the top from Kmar.
Oh come on, colin Oh, she said, she might as well set me off to school in crocs. That was the equivalent back in the day.
If you can get through this, it's toughen you up for the rest of your life.
Fake cabbage patch doll she couldn't.
Afford a real Well, yeah, that's tough as well. Cabbage patch dolls were absolutely eaten a.
Bit, weren't they.
And then you know, like I cottoned on that brands were a thing amongst my friends. So then I'd start lying about it and they'd be like, that's a nice shirt.
Where's that from.
I'd be like sports girl, yeah, and they're like that looks like Target.
Yeah, let me see the tag at the bag and runoff.
He runs across the playground in a fake.
ROMs in a fake romes, which is such bad quality. They're ripping.
All the kids are yelling.
They done up follies thirteen twenty four ten. What were you deprived of as a child? What did you miss out? And maybe only just discovered it as an adult. I'm playing a lot of Monopoly right now. God damn, it feels good.
Go to Kieran from Hilton what were you deprived of?
And yeah?
So October eighty eight, I was watching The Dark Crystal and my dad used to hit the side of a TV when the reception would go funny, And the reception was going funny, so I ran back and fly kicked it into the walls the TV blower and mom didn't replace the TV for twelve years.
Twelve of you is quite the punishment it was.
We used to live next daughter. Sean mchaelis the comedian, and he smuggled a little black and white TV over which my sister's kept in their cupboard for about four years, which I didn't know about them.
Yes, oh yeah, I love that your sisters like kept you out of it. We've got a TV in no oil cupboard.
Oh, thank you so much.
Barbara from Gillis Planes, What were you deprived of as a kid?
I was deprived of having a hypercolor T shirt.
That's that's amount to you.
Imagine Barbara, where you'd be right now in life. If you had that hypercolor T shirt, you'll probably be president of the world.
Yeah. Possibly, Zoey.
You wouldn't know about hypercolor T shirt, So just explain them, Barbara.
Yeah, so different colors. Just buy like a pink one or a blue one, and when it touches your skin that he would make this color change.
Very cool.
But then, but then, Barbara, maybe maybe you were blessed for not having these shirts because then if you were getting a bit sweaty out of the pits, wouldn't it really accentuate?
Yeah? Possibly, but I still wanted one that everyone had them and I didn't have them.
Okay, Barbara, it's okay. We're sending your.
Right you're going to say on behalf of nova. We're going to send you a half a colored shirt.
There would you even find one these days? Can I just share something with you? My husband's just sent me a photo his mum refused to buy him a Nike jacket like a sports jacket and have a look at this, please. He's got a Nike jacket and he's written in text and Nike, and he's drawn the swoosh on it.
He has done a good job of the swash, Richard, explain why it's on the other day he's wearing that suit with a Hugo Boss written.
A love.
What about this? A Belgian TikToker faked his own death to find out who cared, and then turned up to his own funeral. Yep, good stuff.
I can't even move this story.
David Barton and his wife and children, they are all in on it, decided to prank friends and family members to find out what they really thought of him. To spread the news of his death, one of his children took to social media and wrote a tribute to her father. She wrote, rest in peace, Daddy. I will never stop thinking about you.
This is so messed up. This is so messed up. Where did this happen?
So this is a TikToker in Belgium, in Belgium, and how many times have we sat here and said, oh, the things that happened in Belgium, stop, just ridiculous.
Stop it.
If it's not Belgium. As Equidora all sorts of death related incidents. She said, why is life so unfair on social media? Why are you You were going to be your grandfather and you still had your whole life ahead of you. So during the funeral, he then turned up via a helicopter. No, as you do, that's a grand entry. And the reception he got was mixed because a lot of people ran over to him and hugged him, and
other people were genuinely confused, as you would be. He said he did it because he wanted to teach family and friends the importance of being close connection and all that type of things, because he wasn't getting invited to events and people were losing contact with him. Let's see what I would lose immediate contact with him if he did this.
This is like, I can't even begin You put people through that trauma and grief just to make a point.
Hey, I know he'll like you men and hand.
Yeah, you know, this is the biggest attention grabbing stunt of all time.
I reckon, He's ridiculous.
Okay, if you were to theoretically fake your own death and then chopping your way into your own funerals, what do you want to see?
I want to see. I want to see a heap of people. I want to see a whole bunch of people. But I'd be scared. I'd turn up. You're like, hey, guys, I'm not dead. Where is everybody? Have I got the address by.
A funeral where it is full on funerals, Isn't it is that where we're going.
My family would be there and they'd be fine with it. And then my daughter, my three year old daughter would be there on the corner, trying to steal a can of coke, very relax of the situation. Yeah, I'd come back from the dead to stop her from stealing the can of coke too.
Don't drink that. You know how people say, Oh, I don't want a funeral, I want a celebration. No, I want you to mourn me, mourn me. I want to walk in, I want to get off the job. I walk in and just see tears, huge.
Sobbing tears, like a river of tears.
I want everyone, including Abby in the newsroom, to be so completely overwhelmed with grief and distress at my passing.
Yeah, I want everyone to have a shot at mine.
That'd be really nice.
And also, you know how sorry to cut you off.
You know how people say, I don't want my partner to repartner and find someone else.
Oh, I want you to find love again. No no, no, you.
Ever touch another woman for the rest of your life, Gregottie, and I'll.
Be watching you.
I'll be watching you.
I'm right up here.
If you're making love to someone in our bed and you feel that table move in the corner, that's me, but also as well. I mean I would come back from the dead because I feel like I'd turn out to my own funeral and I just want some good tunes play it yeah, and I'd be like, what do we got for my funeral? And there's Jodie on the DJ, No, no, this, this, And.
Then I'm up at the pulpit going I remember, Andrew for that time that Cole Chisel beat me with Kanye West gold Digger.
So for you, Andrew, one last time? Have you checked out? What if dot COM's a top ten winter weekend is yet?
How good is it?
What if tipnessens In membra Ken's tweetheads.
The book you went to get away on the wad you fat?
What is this for travel?
Right now? It is adelaid Cabre Festival. So can we give our good mate Merrick. What's the call?
Of course?
We can all right, here we go.
Australia's favorite comedian.
Oh did we just call Peter Elliott?
No?
You know what I reptis said that that was pretty funny because that's the sort of thing Petter Helly would say. We are good mates. Peter's my oldest mate, meaning that out of all my friends, I've known Peter the longest. I've known him since I was a teenager, since I was eighteen years of age. So I was fresh out of high school and I met Pete and we did some community radio together. Yeah right, and we did one show and then we're asked not to come back.
And ever since then, I've.
Made a habit of doing that with radio stations throughout my entire career.
Hey, Mark, before we talk about your upcoming show and Idiot's Guide to Wine, can I just as a bit of a fan boy?
Can I?
Because I lived in Sydney back in the day and American rosso was an absolute bloody institution. What what was it like for you? And how big did it get? And could you comprehend just how big you guys were? And this is I'm sorry to really really fanboy you here.
No, that's all right. Look I love it because we're talking about me. So I don't know, I don't know why you thought i'd be upset with that. I mean, if you know me, you know that I love this topic,
which is me. Look, it's great. What is what is fantastic is that you know, the rossall and I look back at our legacy and what we created and what we enjoyed, and we're really very very proud of We talk about it quite regularly, actually, So I caught up with Rosso a few weeks ago and we had lunch and we just laughed at all the really dumb, dumb
things that we have done in our career. And when I say dumb, it's just like, you know, we used to write sketches and do little things like little players on radio and stuff that people just don't do anymore, like it's not a thing. And that time was like we thought that everyone was doing it at the time, but they weren't. It was just a very very different and unique kind of vibe and we're very very proud of it. And it's a pretty remarkable thing because we're there,
say as Australia, lock I didn't really. Honestly, I didn't have any doubt that I was going to get through that course because I knew physically, I'd done the preparation methodical training to do it, and I trained on my own. I didn't have a trainer, I didn't have anything like that. I just I didn't go to a gym. I went to a gym three times before I went on the show. Yes, but what I did know was that I was capable
of the head game. I knew that it was going to be about seventy percent mental, and so I just went in, you know, pretty mental, and I just I just knew that I had the ability mentally to carry me through all the hardship.
Where does that come from?
Do you think because I look at that show and go, oh my god, I'd be out in the first week.
I'd be weak, is pissed?
You wouldn't. You wouldn't be out, you'd be out in the first day.
But that's what let's talk about your show. An Idiot's Guide to Wine at the Oudlaid Festival Center in the Banquet Room, Sunday eighteenth of June as two shows two pm and eight pm. This is the State to mix comedy and wine.
Yeah.
Absolutely. I came up with the idea for an Idiot's God to Wine when I was an Adelaide a few years ago, and I was like this, I think it could be a really really good thing and people would get around it, and I wasn't really sure. And then when we're in lockdowns a couple of years ago, I was like, well, I've got I can't go anywhere, so I may as well sit around and write this show. So I didn't know I wrote the show because it's very,
very different. You taste six wines throughout the show, and being a qualified wine person, I'm able to kind of write and talk about the wines. But it's comedy. It's a comedy show and it's what's awesome is I first premiered in the Adelaide French Festival over a year ago. It's coming back from the Adelaide Cabre Festival and this has toured all around Australia and overseas and will continue
to travel overseas and elsewhere with it. It's been really a wonderful experience and far beyond what I thought it would be.
It is.
It's a great show if you like wine, and I feel like comedy Boom. I've got your ticket for you.
It has been such a privilege to talk to you this morning. Can't wait to see the show. An Idiot's Guide to Wine the Bangrut Room Adelaide First, we'll send us Sunday, eighteenth June two o'clock and eight o'clock.
You'll be there.
Oh, I know.
We're having a great time as well, so thank you very much for having me on the show. Most people won't have me on any so it's been lovely.
Let's talk noves. Handball Blitz a lot of fun. You need to register your details well than overplay if you want to play and particilarly potentially be a South Australian champion. But let's see you what things are really starting the heat up.
We went to christ the King for Handball Blitz this week and we were blown away with the talent.
So they talk about Sacred Heart being a pretty factory for young art door players. Christ Stick King factory for young handballers.
That's so good they're doing some this work.
It's outstanding for us. We met some really dedicated and over listeners who.
Can name a segment on Nova.
What do we like to do you stopped? Yes good, and you talk to kids for the Hamblewoods?
Yes good?
What about fool Hazy on this Daisy on this.
Your ends yours?
Adelaide's underpower came out with us. We just wish he hadn't heard this, so we need a chair right now.
But who's going for Jody and Hazy.
Teen Port Adelaide.
And then who's going to go but Guffie and Sam team Crows.
The kids had so much the teachers Jodie Lane, how to floss?
Is that?
It?
Yeah, very un.
With so much talent.
The biggest question was who has what it takes to be out handball champion? So spread all that.
The winners. Yeah, very good stuff. And that's what was the school from Gussie ambassador for Novah's Handball Blitz.
What a little legend Gussie is champion?
He is?
Yeah, indeed big thanks to.
Out Sorry, I was going to say a special shout out to one of the teachers when thunder Powers outfit started to unravel and there was a suspicious looking flap hanging from the front of his suit.
Teacher goes, this is a Catholic school.
Put that away and didn't thund a whip into hear a big shout out and thanks to our good mates and McGain as well, McGain real Estate, massive supporters, local making difference all over Essay selling your home well, you can trust him again Nova's handball Blitz. You want to register potentially be our next Touth Australia, our inaugural South Australian Champion.
We did mention that one of the champions may well come from that school.
Because they were good details jump on. The overplay reading story of this towns we're seeing is huge. PC shows.
Well. An Australian designer who sells clothes under the name Katie Perry, has said she feels personally attacked by the actual Katie Perry after the US singer renewed illegal battle between the pairs.
So the Sydney woman Katie Jane Taylor, describes herself as an Aussie battler.
She sued Katie in the Fiddle Court over the sale of the clothes, including T shirts and pajamas in Australia and then it got dismissed and then now they're back at it again. This is the Australian Katie Jane Taylor.
I'm really to be honest, I feel like it's back to the beginning and back to having to take calls for lawyers and spend time away from my business and time away from my little kids, and the emotion and stress around it. It actually shocked me just how upset I have been.
Music really makes that, doesn't it. It takes you to a really really sensitive place.
Real dark place. Katie Perry is worth half a billion dollars.
She's fine.
So you just wonder, why is it a fight you want to pick? I don't know.
Yeah, well I think you're gonna say. You just wonder why she does the ads for Menu log.
I can't get my head around though.
She just dresses up as like sushi and all different weird stuff ice creams and.
Why extra cheese on't your pizza?
Yeah?
Exactly. Yeah. News Corp have done that thing where they give a ratings report on the very first day of a new show with new personalities on it. So they've given a ratings review for Monday for Matt Shervington after day one.
So the numbers were good.
Sunrise had two hundred and thirty five thousand Metro viewers tuning in to see Chervo nine's Today show. Drew one hundred and eighty eight thousand and one hundred and four thousand watched ABC's News Breakfast. But you know, like if you work in the media, you understand that ratings are a trend thing. Like you can't draw out of day one. He's popular, he's not popular. It's like a longevity thing.
Yeah, And like we've always said, if the ratings are bad, yeah they're full of crap. But if they're good, yeah, absolutely, you better believe.
Their bang on though.
There's never been anything more And you're accurate in your life than the rating system where people sit down with a diary.
Is that juicy?
Yeah?
You see you sue.
Australian comedian Carl Barron has today announced who will take his record breaking latest stand up show for a victory lap around Australia. It's called Skating Rink for Flies, so one night only in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth and it will be in Adelaide on December second.
He's a bit of Carl's work.
So expression you've got over here, you know you call flip flops flip flops.
We don't call that Australia. We call them thongs. He called thongs over hey, women's g strings.
Nobody told me that the first time I got it.
He's very good, very nice. He's an iconic national treasure.
Yes, and that's juicy too.
Trump has addressed his supporters on his seventy seventh birthday, and this is all we need to hear from that particular speech.
I spirthday. They were saying happy birthday. I was with Eric and Lord of the Kids, Happy birthday, Grandpa happy, And I said, oh great, I just got charged with They won four hundred years.
Of proximately if you add them all up.
A fake four hundred years. Oh thank you, darling. That's so nice. Oh my god, it sounds like someone impersonating taking a piece out of Donald Trump.
I know.
Actually, Donald Trump.
Suit just extraordinary stuff from him this week.
My favorite was when he's like free field for everyone.
Juice. Oh, Donald, the gift that keeps on giving. Happy birthday, great man.
Yeah, happiest of birthday is you? Donald?
Good stuff.
You tell me you built the time machine.
On this day Thursday. But game tonight's go port, Yeah, go port. All that sort of stuff. Come in the meantime, we'll take a little trip down memory lane. If you don't mind because it's the fifteenth of June, and let's stack into your brain a little bit of knowledge. Nine and fifty eight. First Pizza Hut restaurant open in the US and Kansas origin stuff on pizza hurt.
No one.
I missed the Pizza Hut.
Yeah, I remember when they did the stuff crust pizza and it was really cool as a youngster that flipped around and eat a crust first because we saw it on TV. My gosh, such a big treat to go over and sit in the restaurant with all you can eat. This was Mum taking me over to Woggle Wogger as a youngster. Yeah, and just sitting there and eating and taking it all in and thought it was a rock star.
Just in the unrelated news too. You had no friends at school.
Of friends the real but.
Was there an imaginary one that used to watch you? You cross first and go andrew your soir call?
That's epic, bro, I was like, thanks man high farving. No one A sudden dang bully from behind would get me. Oh are you talking? Oh my gosh, my eyes are leaking. Nineteen ninety four. Disney's animated musical film The Lion King opens in theaters with forty two million dollars straight away? You go, couldn't they have Aready written it where Mfusser doesn't go?
Yeah, and it's just brutal.
I saw I saw a meme the other day that's like Simba pretends to be sad when his dad dies and overlooks the fact that he's.
Just sang a song about wanting to be king.
Oh there's definitely something in that, isn't it. Wow?
Oh, I'm so sad dad died. Body kings? What I just can we to be king?
Genuine power struggle? Careful what you wish for? Simba. Twenty seventeen, Rebel Wilson wins defamation case against Bauer Media at this Sreme Court of Victoria in Melbourne.
Yeah, good honor. They make some stuff up, don't they.
Oh yeah, do you reckon? I'm talking new idea and I sort of matter my god, woman's day. A close source spelled.
S a uce, tomato or barbecue.
I think it was wish to share this time. Twenty twenty one, Internet Explorer eleven desktop application was retired. That was because of all the little dirty birds gone through their teen years and all the nasty things that they were googling.
Oh dear Internet Explorer.
I was like, I can't handle this any more. I've seen some stuff that I shouldn't.
When's bing going to be next to follow? Who uses bing?
Heye, Bing, give me some fotos a kind of Rosie he's Connor McGregor whatever.
Thanks Bing, Thanks, Oh man, you will never be Google One.
In June fifteen, two thousand and three was Fighter by Christina Aguilera.
I'll Fighter, Yeah. I thought you meant like fighter.
If I da, it was like fighter, boner Fighter song, Big.
Day Tomorrow, Real Friday, vibes about it. If you haven't voted for Battle of the Bangers yet, please do so.
Yeah, our Instagram page just really quickly. This is what Chardy's got.
All.
Let's just completely flipped this script on this.
You go a bit of old.
Who saw that coming?
Not me?
Not fifty's going to join us for fifty Fridays as well, Rubin k now here's a man who isn't trusted with live television anymore.
Let's see how he goes with a bit of live radio. Oh my goodness. He's performing at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival.
And his show is loose yes, so I for you guess well, of course, navers, pay your bills. That's happening throughout the day, and also a couple of times with us tomorrow. Enjoy your Thursday.
Make sure you love your Thursday. Hey, Hey, hey, Andrew, see ya all right, sir?
Overnight one night, the mon