Fake Pandas & False Advertising - podcast episode cover

Fake Pandas & False Advertising

May 08, 202432 minSeason 2Ep. 79
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Episode description

A zoo is trying to use dogs as fake pandas and we kind of wanna visit.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

We got get morning every day.

Speaker 2

Adelaides.

Speaker 3

When the last time we went to the zoo and saw the pandits.

Speaker 1

Oh not for a little while, because in my expirits, every time I've gone, they just sit there with their legs bread and scratch themselves.

Speaker 3

Is that the pandas or me? It can be sometimes a little bit disappointing.

Speaker 2

The pandas it can be underwhelming.

Speaker 3

Would you rather see pandas or some really really nice, big fluffy dogs.

Speaker 2

We have a choice in this space. If the big fluffy dogs were doing a bit, then probably.

Speaker 3

Then okay, maybe this zoo in China is for you. This particular zoo sparked all out pandera ammonium after they dressed in dogs as pandas because they didn't have the genuine artifact as seen in some viral photos that went around. They're chow chow dogs, yes, you know, those big fluffy choo chow dogs. So they were unveiled on the first of May. It Tie Zoo zoo. So they're big head breed Northern China dogs which are so ridiculously fluck They've also got the blue tongues. Have you seen the chowch.

Speaker 2

Out Oh yes, yes, yeah, yeah, So.

Speaker 3

Zoo officials reportedly trimmed their mane and dyed their faces black to look like China's iconic bamboo eating bed. They then put the so called panda dogs on display in an enclosure every day from eight to five, attracting thousands of people despite the obvious bam boozelement per the sanctuaries stuffers. So they've pretty much got white and black dye all over them, and kids were probably coming up and saying, oh, look at the panda. Can I pad it ah? Hello, friendly panda.

Speaker 2

Okay, I've just googled them. I have to say they've done a pretty damn good job.

Speaker 3

Yeah they have, And they might actually be better than the real thing. They'd be more active than the real thing. And I get I tell you what. I bet you they're mating more than the real thing.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, well they're dogs. Goodness me.

Speaker 3

You hand have a situation where you've just been looking forward to something because no doubt so many zoos and be like, we're going to see the fans go and see the fans that are left me going was that a bunch of dogs?

Speaker 2

I looked away, disappointed.

Speaker 1

I walked away from movie on the Gold Coast and the kids were so hyped about it, just going never ever, ever again. And do you know why because they lined up for an hour for one roller coaster ride that lasted sixteen seconds. And then we went and saw some crappy ute mustard display. Did you go to the there's just like little tweety bird walking around like, oh my god, this is that just cost us four hundred dollars as a family.

Speaker 3

Really looking forward to it, you leave extremely disappointed? Yeah, what about you? Producers are one?

Speaker 4

I went to an awesome beach festival a few years ago that was headlined by Angus and Julius Stone.

Speaker 2

Yes, should have been amazing.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I was so excited to see them live. I don't think they were in the same room with us. How you got up there and we're off with the fairies to see sure. Yeah, and they did the classic thing that these low key cool artists do, but they didn't play a single hit.

Speaker 2

Oh right, I'm just play all their new stuff. Come on, ang.

Speaker 3

Joe, you guys love us so much that you will instantly love our new stuff. Yeah, we don't even know what you're doing. How do you know what we're doing? We are so blazed off our faces.

Speaker 2

Yes, can I propose something?

Speaker 1

I can imagine that Cara Hayes has been to an event and left very disappointed.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yes, yes, we're just going to put that at thirteen twenty fourteen. Have you been in a situation where maybe you're really looking forward to something, you've been promised something really big, and in your left disappointment.

Speaker 2

Like like your wedding night.

Speaker 3

Yeah, we'll take the cause next, No course, FM, car Hayes, thank you very much.

Speaker 2

He's what you're waking up to Adelaide.

Speaker 5

Breaking news.

Speaker 2

What's the news todays.

Speaker 1

We've all been watching on in horror with this story of the brothers from Perth, Jack and Callum, who were murdered on a surfing trip in Mexico with their American friend, allegedly in a carjacking gone wrong. Now we knew that the parents, Martin and Deborah Robinson, have.

Speaker 2

Traveled over there.

Speaker 1

They spoke yesterday from Ocean Beach in California and this is what Debra had to say about the passing of her sons.

Speaker 6

Now it's time to bring them home to families and friends and the ocean waves in Australia. Please live bigger, shine brighter, and love harder in their memory.

Speaker 3

Wow.

Speaker 1

I don't really have many words for this story. It's just absolutely heartbreaking for that family. And you know, you don't know what the motives were for these these three Mexicans who allegedly shot with the brothers in the car jacking gone wrong. There's rumors that they were after the tires of the car.

Speaker 2

There's rumors that.

Speaker 1

Are in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it was part of a drug deal, imminent drug deal gone wrong. Who knows who's to say, but family has been left absolutely decimated and it is horribly, horribly tragic.

Speaker 3

It never recovered from a situation, not that as a family, but does make you think as well for.

Speaker 2

Young people thinking about.

Speaker 3

Think about traveling and things like that.

Speaker 1

Oh God, if my kids came to me and said I want to travel through Mexico, be like no chance.

Speaker 3

Yeah, very concerning stuff. And look, more information will come out in terms of more answers, but yeah, it's just a tragic story.

Speaker 2

Do you know if they've upgraded the charges yet to murder.

Speaker 7

Yeah, there's one who will be facing a court hearing today, Okay, and the charge is it still says set to be upgraded to murder.

Speaker 1

Right, okay, because at the moment it's just kidnapping, yeah, attempted kidnapping, but it will be now now that the bodies have been identified, it'll be upgraded.

Speaker 8

And that's I think what the court hearing is today.

Speaker 3

Okay, there you go, perhaps what do you got?

Speaker 7

So a bit of a change of pace, but we are on the countdown to this year's Eurovision.

Speaker 8

I'm excited.

Speaker 7

I don't know why I've over the years sort of I don't know, got onto the bandwagon a Feurovision. But this year is super exciting because we have say group Electric Fields representing us. So their song is called One Hearsh or one Blood and is in South Australian Aboriginal language.

Speaker 8

Take a listen.

Speaker 2

To the planets, the panels.

Speaker 3

Oh what's going on with my hips?

Speaker 8

It's a bit of a boffy one, isn't it around the place?

Speaker 7

But yeah, so they're over, Yeah, they're over and doing final rehearsals at the moment. It's all happening in the next sort of twenty four hours.

Speaker 8

Eurovision. The favor is Croatia.

Speaker 7

They've sent a rock band over there called Baby Lasagna and apparently they're as mad as cut snakes.

Speaker 1

So not that you want to politicize Eurovision, but there was talk they were going to ban Russia a Russia compiding.

Speaker 8

I'm not one hundred percent sure.

Speaker 7

Actually I have to look that up, but yeah, they were going to and I.

Speaker 8

Think they did, didn't they last year they weren't allowed to.

Speaker 2

But there's definitely heightened security around it this year.

Speaker 7

Yeah, one hundred percent. But I was looking back at who Australia have since. So we debuted in Eurovision in twenty fifteen, we've sent people like Dummy in Guy Sebastian, Kate Miller, Haydekey, we sent Voyager last year. They were a WA band and it was the first time ever that a band had represented US.

Speaker 8

And then I was looking.

Speaker 7

So it was first held in nineteen fifty in Britain and it was an experiment in transnational television broadcasting and now it's grown to what it is now.

Speaker 2

So yeah, there you go, and there's no going back. We've committed to it.

Speaker 7

Now we've committed to it. I mean, will we will we win against Baby Lasagna? Electric Fields versus Baby Lasagna? Who's to say?

Speaker 9

Real?

Speaker 3

David Vegel situation.

Speaker 7

Well, I did say earlier this week that I identify as microwave because I eat everything. So I'm going baby Lazagna. That's my vote. Sorry, Electric Fields.

Speaker 3

So Ben Russia get tatoo in. Go on, do the right thing. Make it interesting. I don't know what the ladies up through these days. Oh it's been a what you know, but the memories of a fresher young hero from Rush live in our souls as.

Speaker 2

A young boy. Perhaps goodness.

Speaker 3

Hey, let's round it out with some news from the NFL. There was a report yesterday that emerged that potentially the AFL we're going to introduce premiership rings instead of premiership medal. Okay, which what they do in the NRL, and of course it's huge over the stage. You get a championship ring for NBA, NFL and probably all sorts of other things.

Speaker 10

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Can you imagine though, the premiership medal being replaced by a ring. It's not us, is it.

Speaker 2

They do it in the ifl W.

Speaker 3

They do in the ifl W.

Speaker 2

Yes, they do.

Speaker 10

They did for a couple of years, or they phased it out. I think they may have phased out. They do have a couple of the Crows ones on display at West Lakes in the front in the foyer, So some of the girls have let them display them.

Speaker 2

So they don't wear them.

Speaker 3

Girls aren't that interested in them.

Speaker 10

They are very like Gordy like over the top rings. They're not a ring that you would wear on the daily, not at all.

Speaker 3

Okay, the AFL came out Yestone said that as absolutely erroneous. They said, we've given out premiership medals for the past hundred years. We intend to give our premiership medals for the next one hundred years.

Speaker 2

It's not funny how these rumors start.

Speaker 1

Yeah, like the Patrick Dangerfields coming back to Adelaide one.

Speaker 2

Interesting, Well, there's probably some.

Speaker 3

It was probably a conversation. Okay, it actually happening would be a different story.

Speaker 2

Yeah right, Okay.

Speaker 1

We got a phone call from a listener yesterday who shall remain nameless.

Speaker 2

However, I will say it raised some eyebrows amongst the team. We all went, can you can you be called that?

Speaker 3

I thought it was a joke.

Speaker 2

Are you allowed to be called that?

Speaker 3

So it was a joke, it was a genuine serious course or couldn't be so it was?

Speaker 1

So I'm not going to say the name however, I will say that it is on the list of band names band baby names across Australia.

Speaker 2

I'll let you try and work out who who entered a competition under this name.

Speaker 1

But anyway, would you like me to run through the list of names that you cannot call your kid?

Speaker 3

Well, I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't know that there was such a list as a genuine band list of names.

Speaker 1

There is one hundred percent a banded list names in Australia.

Speaker 3

So what happens if you said to the birth Register's office, so I want to call this they could say, no, that's you.

Speaker 2

Cannot It's against the law. There you okay?

Speaker 1

So the number one name that you can't use is just at the AT symbol?

Speaker 3

Who a prince? Like just the love symbol?

Speaker 2

But who will do that? What's your name at at at?

Speaker 10

What?

Speaker 3

And what at me?

Speaker 2

At me? I'm at at gmail like what? I'm so confused?

Speaker 1

Very unique though, So you can't use that, You can't use Adolf Hitler yep, that I can't call your baby that.

Speaker 3

That's very very fair.

Speaker 2

While you would want to, I'm not entirely sure.

Speaker 3

You can all work out.

Speaker 1

Why, Although if it ever suited anyone. It's probably abby in the newsroom, don't.

Speaker 8

You forget it?

Speaker 2

Baby off? You cannot call your kid Australia why not? You just can't.

Speaker 3

So you can call your kids all sorts of different capital cities, for example in Adelaide. I think there's is it Sidney? Brian Lara called his daughter Sydney, Yeah, because he loved the city so much. Yeah, there's probably Brisbane, no doubt. There's a couple of little perths out there. Who knows, I know a couple of Bendy Goes.

Speaker 2

Do you know any Do you know any woggle woggers?

Speaker 3

I don't know any wogga woggers off the top of mate.

Speaker 2

You can't call your kid commodore?

Speaker 3

Okay, yeah that's good. Why is that?

Speaker 2

By the way, I have no idea.

Speaker 3

So is it because of what that particular name is probably trademarked, is it?

Speaker 5

Well?

Speaker 2

I would say so.

Speaker 10

I think that's the same with the other ones Jode's, like I think you mentioned off air Facebook, those ones like that. I think if they're trademarked, they're not allowed to register it as Yeah.

Speaker 2

Or Ikea.

Speaker 1

You can't call your kid Ikea and you can't call your kid I'm at either the old school computer, because we're.

Speaker 3

Just wondering whether that's the guys at the birth and Register office going no, no, no, no, don't put your kids so far behind by naming it commodore. Yes, give it more of a chance. Yeah, how about you just go with cam.

Speaker 1

Also, baby Cyanide is out. Ye, here's another trademark one nattella.

Speaker 3

Oh nutsy ye of course ntella? Why would that enter your brain? Is an option?

Speaker 2

You cannot call your kids seamen of course.

Speaker 3

You can't spogsy Nope no, or g bang fongers No, not going to work.

Speaker 2

You can't call your kid married Juanna.

Speaker 3

No, you can't, or blazer.

Speaker 2

Or Medicare. Why would you want to call your kid medicare? Do you have your Medicare card?

Speaker 6

No?

Speaker 2

But I've got my Medicare. Baby, this is Medicare.

Speaker 3

Please say hello?

Speaker 1

Oh I hate saying this one. You can't call your kid panties, which is fair enough. I would say, why not?

Speaker 3

That's certainly not like trademarks.

Speaker 2

Also, can't call your kid ned Kelly.

Speaker 3

Really, purely because of his criminal history.

Speaker 1

Yeah, well, unless you want to get your baby traveling around with like a tin on its head with a slit for eyes, unless you want.

Speaker 3

To do that a nice big tattoo such as life.

Speaker 2

Been cousins cousins call he keeps short.

Speaker 3

Head, short head, little shitty, can't do that. This is outrageous. I didn't know. There are actually a bunch of games which he couldn't.

Speaker 2

True eighty three on the list.

Speaker 1

And finally, you cannot call your child once you give.

Speaker 3

Birth scroton scrotsy, so he'll never be born into a situation where his nickname can be sexy. Ever again, it was sad.

Speaker 2

Well we live in you can you'll out haynakas.

Speaker 3

Though that'll do. What a twisted country we live in? There you go, stondy, naisy if we've got some Mother's Day hampers to give to you very very soon, registering details right now by the no player, tell us why your mum is so special?

Speaker 1

It is Little baby scrotum took their first steps today.

Speaker 3

Look at him bouncing away?

Speaker 11

What the pork?

Speaker 2

What the pork sk So we spoke about this yesterday.

Speaker 1

Just one of the most awkward, horrible moments I've seen in television. So basically I was watching Sunrise on the weekend and this poor girl, Tagan Dowling. She was a signed with the task, Hey, go round to this person's house and give them a big novelty check for ten thousand dollars and tell them they can fly anywhere with

Jetstar and it's going to be amazing and you'll be great, Tagan. However, unfortunately there was an errand producer who probably got into all sorts of trouble who failed to check if the said person was home.

Speaker 2

Here we go, come on to the door. There's no car in the driveway.

Speaker 9

Hello, Barbara.

Speaker 2

Maybe we'll see if we can go down this way. Are there signs of life? And those are someone inside?

Speaker 12

I can see it.

Speaker 2

Puffy dog down here? Hello? Is your owner home?

Speaker 6

Please?

Speaker 2

We'll come back to your teach and good luck.

Speaker 3

The dog was very aggressive. Can I tell two.

Speaker 1

Years ago this enough Andrew Hayes. That went on for minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes. She tried the front door and they're like, go around the side, Tagan. So she went around the side and.

Speaker 2

They're like, try to open the door, and she's like, ah no, it's locked. Absolute furfy.

Speaker 1

She was thrown And I just like, if that hadn't been me and you had to pad for like four or five minutes on TV on live national television.

Speaker 2

Absolute nightmare.

Speaker 3

It well just melt and all of a sudden you forget how to talk, and your eyes forget how to look at things. So what happens is you end up dribbling, not talking, and your eyes and pupils pointing in different directions. TV looking great.

Speaker 1

There. We've had our own sort of what the fork situation here?

Speaker 2

Oh, absolute nightmare at work?

Speaker 3

Yeah, what place fails? Third and twenty four ten get involved with what the Fork? But what about news reader Abbey a few months ago? I think it was sort of mid last year when she was just rattling off the weather in a beautiful part of the northern community.

Speaker 7

Checking over weather at shower or two and twenty one the top it's one hundred and forty in Elizabeth.

Speaker 8

Sorry it's fourteen and Elizabeth on.

Speaker 7

Adelaide's over nine one nine, So take your pick, abs.

Speaker 3

Was it one hundred and forty degrees or was it the failure to turn the mic off before you really really dropped out.

Speaker 8

Let's be honest, every time I put this mic on, it's a train crash.

Speaker 2

So yeah, goodness, mate.

Speaker 8

Then it was the time that I coughed, couldn't stop coughing.

Speaker 3

Oh my god.

Speaker 2

And I tried to run in and run in and help and couldn't. Yeah.

Speaker 3

I tried to perform the hymen maneuver.

Speaker 2

The what hymen?

Speaker 3

I said that wrong?

Speaker 2

The hymen is a whole other, different part of the anatomy.

Speaker 8

Please don't touch me there. I'd be going to.

Speaker 3

H not trying to perform that maneuver on news reader, Abby.

Speaker 7

I mean, you kissed me on the forehead every morning, but that's the whole other level.

Speaker 2

Hazy.

Speaker 8

You got a wife, babe?

Speaker 3

Sorry, Yes, HR is calling. What do you guys want?

Speaker 2

The exit already?

Speaker 1

A you dropping the home and maneuver in the middle of a segment about workplace.

Speaker 3

Well that's what we're talking about, folks, thirteen twenty four ten. Your workplace failures? When has that resulted in? HR?

Speaker 2

What that one? Have you ever had any?

Speaker 9

Oh?

Speaker 6

My god?

Speaker 3

Yeah, I had one actually when I was working it over back in the day with Lewis and Low and I was the guy on the streets and they were doing National at the time. They were filling in and same situation. They threw to me and I was going to knock on someone's door, Oh yeah, to present them with the big prize. A week before that, I'd had surgery on my nose, okay, to get it fixed up because it was busted.

Speaker 10

Yep.

Speaker 3

It started absolutely pouring out with blood just as I was about to go into this door knocking.

Speaker 2

Oh no, And was it being videoed as well?

Speaker 3

Everywhere? There was blood everywhere, so much so that the girl answer daor, which was like, oh, I thought it was some poor homeless guy who'd just been building in the face and he was looking for a bit of refuge.

Speaker 2

Oh dear, So there you go.

Speaker 6

Okay.

Speaker 3

Thirteen twenty four ten share with us via what the fork Your workplace Fails?

Speaker 2

Caroline? Hello, what was your workplace failed?

Speaker 5

Dull so of quite an embarrassing moment as a year head and science teacher, I was wearing a lightweight long skirt addressing the class. Moving around the classroom, got a little bit too close to the air conditioning intake event and the skirt went and I was grappling to save a little bit of faith. The year ten boys loved it, but I wasn't quite so.

Speaker 11

Happy with the I take.

Speaker 2

So did it fly? Up, Caroline.

Speaker 3

I know it flew down, flew down, it go Oh my gosh. I was going to say I was picturing you during a little Marilyn Monroe, but you've done the opposite.

Speaker 5

It was that sucks.

Speaker 3

Do you know why, though, Caroline? I remember when I was in year ten and I've gone pretty I don't think they were talking about it at all. I don't think I'll even remember. There's not much going on for a sixteen year old.

Speaker 5

Boat, thank god, thank god. This is about ten years ago before phones were everywhere.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, yeah, there's no real hormones at play.

Speaker 3

They're just concentrating on what's the teacher trying to delive. I'm just trying to learn about themselves.

Speaker 1

About science, yeah, spot on about the Newton's theory, et cetera.

Speaker 2

Let's go to Jeanette. Hey, Jeannette, how are you going good?

Speaker 6

Good?

Speaker 2

What was your workplace fail?

Speaker 1

My love?

Speaker 12

Well, I was chatting to our new receptionist at work, and we were talking about how well she was doing. And I said to her, or what I'm meant to say was yes, you've fluttered in really well, But what I actually said was yes, you've fluttered in really well. And there are a few people around. But luckily she saw the humor.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it was an overly humorous Ageonette when you looked her up and down and then said that and then added a little sweetie on.

Speaker 2

The end of it.

Speaker 12

I just kind of went silent when this rare for me, but ye, and just there, Yes, luckily I run saving the class.

Speaker 1

And then the new receptions is like, oh, that Janette tried to give me a compliment, but.

Speaker 3

You slaughted you very nicely.

Speaker 1

Let's go to Sarah. Good morning, Sarah, what the four capin at work?

Speaker 9

Good morning, beautiful people. Well, all I can say is I am glad that I still had a job after this sle incident. So I was just starting my corporate career as a very early twenty year old with one of the major financial institutions back in the early twenties, a twenty twenty. So I had one of my colleagues, my partner at the time was called Dan, and one of my colleagues got a phone call and she transfers the call through to me and she goes, Hi, Sarah,

Dan's on the phone police. So I'm like, okay, cool Nor he's putting through. So I picked up the phone and I'm like, hey, Sexty, how are you going? This elderly gentleman proceeds to go, I beg your pardon and I've gone I've got clearly not my boyfriend much to do and absolutely freaked out. So you know, the best professional thing to do is just hang up the phone.

And then I ran to the toilet and hit for about ten I think that he would bring back someone else's under the inquiry and then make my way out and forget nothing happened.

Speaker 3

Yeah, that's what you do.

Speaker 12

Meantime.

Speaker 1

Meantime, the other Dan's on the phone going did I dial one eight hundred?

Speaker 2

Happened here?

Speaker 3

Gentleman?

Speaker 2

Thank you, Sarah. I'm glad you survived. What the fork happened?

Speaker 3

At work?

Speaker 11

I borrowed a colleagues computer and was working on it and a pop up came up and I was like, yeah, rebt whatever, and I accidentally wiped her whole drives. That was humiliating. Thank goodness for share points because we got most of it back, but it was really hard. It was a big effort.

Speaker 3

I have about the conversation, initial conversation when you have to tell them what you've done and you're waiting for a reaction.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 11

Yeah, they were so good about it. They were so supportive because they said that they would probably have done the exact same thing, so they were really kind about it. But yeah, I was so nervous going over to tell her, God, come, all the work's gone.

Speaker 1

I get annoyed enough when people use your computer at work and then you go to log on you have to switch user and go through all that pilava and it takes you an extra five minutes.

Speaker 2

That makes me livid. And imagine if Emma wiped her.

Speaker 3

And then when someone brows computer and then it's chocolate box full of viruses and like.

Speaker 2

Where these viruses come from? Yeah? Crazyzy, do you know?

Speaker 3

No idea?

Speaker 2

Thanks so much, Jay, Good morning. You want the floor happen to work?

Speaker 11

So I am a teacher and I had just moved to school. That was my very first day. Luckily the kids weren't on site yet.

Speaker 13

We were there before the kids had come back, and I went in to use the toilet. This is the floor to ceiling door, so there's no weight in or out, and I actually broke the loss off, so I was stuck in this tiny, little claustrophobic room and I had to call the front office and they had to get a lock smith out to get me out.

Speaker 3

Bursday, look yourself in the toilet very often.

Speaker 1

No, that's it takes a fun, special kind of person to do that.

Speaker 13

Jade, Yeah, it does.

Speaker 2

Love done. Congratulations.

Speaker 3

What was the rule after that?

Speaker 5

Jade?

Speaker 3

Everyone, when Jay goes to the tour, just be warned she has to keep the door open.

Speaker 2

Yes, from now on. Good Jade, thank you so much.

Speaker 3

Happening with the Elizabeth Eagles.

Speaker 1

Yeah, so this is their record so far this season. Round one three hundred and forty seven to seven, Round two two hundred and sixty five to eleven, Round three two hundred and ninety six to thirteen, Round four their biggest loss to date five one hundred and sixteen to ZIP.

Speaker 2

That is eighty two goals to.

Speaker 3

MILS eighty two goals plus. I mean, if they've kicking straight Fitzroy Lions, they wouldn't beaten the roll about eighty five eighty six goals.

Speaker 1

Yeah, okay, so it's fair to say they're battling this season. In the Adelaide Football League League, DIP six broken a record on the weekend for the all time biggest score in that competition.

Speaker 3

It's an interesting headliner.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's amazing. However, it's not all derm and gloom. Okay, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 3

You've been working away behind the scene.

Speaker 1

I have been working away behind the scenes. I've spoken to the Eagles and I can confirm Andrew Hayes that they have agreed for you to play with them.

Speaker 3

Oh my god, you've locked this, have you?

Speaker 1

I have locked it away. It is absolutely official. You are going to pull on the Eagles jumper. You're going to head out to your heartland, that is the Northern Football League out there, and you are going to have a run around.

Speaker 3

Great, Sorry about that. That was my hamstring. Yeah, just soaking in the news.

Speaker 2

When was the last time you played IFL football?

Speaker 3

Well, never played AFL football, so thanks very much, Joe. Again, last time I played any sort of football was twenty fifteen.

Speaker 2

Twenty fifteen, and was that sandfull?

Speaker 5

Oh?

Speaker 2

Yes, And you retired from the sample and that was it. You were done. You've not pulled on the boots since.

Speaker 3

I retired from the sample with my tail between my legs, and the tail was probably broken too, because everything else was broken my last three years and sample finished with an ankle, kneat shoulder reconstruction. Wow, okay, beautifully reconstructed since then?

Speaker 2

Yeah, well then you should be good to go.

Speaker 3

Ready to go? Are you serious?

Speaker 2

By the way, I'm one hundred serious. The Eagles have given you the green light to play.

Speaker 3

Oh, I've got butterflies.

Speaker 2

There are a few logistics to work out, but you're on like Donkey Kong?

Speaker 6

Right?

Speaker 2

How good?

Speaker 3

This is really really cool?

Speaker 2

Yep?

Speaker 3

Where to from here? I need to can I recruit some mates?

Speaker 1

Well, you mentioned that yesterday that you would like to enleaset the help of some mates. So you are more than welcome to gather the troops and save the Eagles as they know it.

Speaker 3

It's a very very strong word there, saved.

Speaker 2

Have you got some people in mind? Note?

Speaker 3

I definitely have some people on MA. I'll start doing some digging today and start speaking to some people who can maybe convince some people to come out of retirement. Yes, and see how we go.

Speaker 2

Okay, are you excited?

Speaker 3

You should be excited. I've got butterflies. Yeah, and I'm not even joking. This is my hamstring as we speak, very nervous along the lines of what are you about to do to us?

Speaker 2

Oh, you'll be fine, You'll be fine.

Speaker 10

Uh.

Speaker 2

We will do whatever it takes to get you.

Speaker 1

Kitted up and on the field for the Elizabeth Eagles, and you'll be out there as well.

Speaker 3

I'm guessing we'll play a home game.

Speaker 2

I'll come support you.

Speaker 3

What are you going to do?

Speaker 2

Well, I'm supposed to have a netball games. Well with it, Cica. I'll work around you.

Speaker 3

The sacrifice us.

Speaker 1

I'll put my own ambitions aside to help you. Saw like an eagle.

Speaker 3

Well play Elizabeth Eagles.

Speaker 7

Are you're going to have to get kidded up and be the person that rubs them on the sidelines.

Speaker 3

You know, you can be a trainer.

Speaker 8

He'll be off in two minutes with a saw hammi. Again, that is true.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

Can you no one agreed to physical contact.

Speaker 3

Within a few days and whenever we suit up. Can you get qualified as a sports doctor?

Speaker 2

Absolutely?

Speaker 3

Okay, looking forward to that. Sure, this is really really good. I'm very nervous. I need to start getting recruiting. Okay, all right, let's make a big deal of this.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, the Eagles.

Speaker 3

We've always si Yeah, that's right. Jade's time to talk for days. Okay, you've been waiting for this all morning. Did you know his is that for he runs? Seventy to seventy five percent of the world's population, or about four billion people, do not use toilet paper, being instead for water.

Speaker 2

Wow, I did not know that.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's an interesting way to clean your bump.

Speaker 1

I can tell you a stat from our house. Seventy five per cent of the children in the house don't replace the toilet paper when the role runs out.

Speaker 3

Yes, that makes a lot of sense, a lot of sense. I think that would be most households. So this practice is prevalent in large parts of Africa, Southeast a and southern Europe. In regions such as Southeast Age and also countries like Tunisia, Morocca, Egypt, and Jordan, water is a

preferred method for personal hygien and washrooms. Typically, these areas might use a squatting hole in the floor rather than a Western style toilet, and many homes are equipped with a small shower or a hose for rinsing.

Speaker 2

You like this, Oh No, people aren't going to the toll in the shower, are they.

Speaker 3

No, No, rinsing is in like a small hose where you would go to the hall to rinse stuff off. In the US, the use of bidet is often referred to as bomb guns, is on the rise due to their lower environmental impact and high hygien ratings, as noted by so many US residents. Got me thinking, OUCHI is actually used a bidet? I have where and when passes the bumgum dull you done with the bumgun?

Speaker 1

In Dubai there's a lot of bum guns really yeah, but very complex though, like really hard to work out what means what smashing all the buttons and just see what happens.

Speaker 3

You gets several sort of shoots of bumgun thatt one.

Speaker 2

That's yeah, yeah, it's interesting.

Speaker 1

I did have an occasion whereby I was on a CCTV hunt for ten years, first out north and so basically that's where like someone had someone had driven a van and led police on a chase after a couple of robberies whatever.

Speaker 2

So you have to knock on people's doors and bum guns.

Speaker 1

Yes, knock on people's doors and say do you have any CCTV of said incident? And so we were in getting some footage from someone and it.

Speaker 2

Was I have to say, it was a nicer.

Speaker 1

It was just fairly modest, right, But as is the necessity on these occasions is sometimes you have to ask random.

Speaker 2

Strangers to use their toilets.

Speaker 1

Of course, because you've been on the road and there's no service station blah blah blah. So I said, do you mind if I use a toilet? He's like yeah, And I walk in and there was a bidet.

Speaker 3

That's not what I thought you were going to say. You don't see that.

Speaker 1

Often there was a self installed I reckon, It's like Salisbury North or something like.

Speaker 3

That, the dangerous ones through the self installed bum guns.

Speaker 1

What an interesting thing to invest your money in terms of renovations.

Speaker 2

What do we do with this extra ten grand cash? We need a bidet?

Speaker 3

Dull, we need a bum gun? Yeah, there you go. I've used it once on our honeymoon and Thailand, really and the pressure was just so extreme. I swear water came out of my mouth. But the initial shock of it doing its job was very very.

Speaker 2

Swear.

Speaker 3

I swear I could see through time just for a second. Really, I can only last back to it three seconds. Yeah, okay, bum guns not for me? What about you?

Speaker 2

News read I've never used one?

Speaker 3

Still clear of the bumgun.

Speaker 2

We've always think I.

Speaker 7

Will after you keep saying it like that.

Speaker 3

Big show coming up tomorrow. Yeah, it's a battle of the Banger's returns and boy you need a winner.

Speaker 1

Okay, alright, there's absolutely nothing I can say. You've been consistent in saying what a loser I am.

Speaker 2

All we come on.

Speaker 3

That's true though. The other thing that we found out today is that I am going to suit up for the Elizabeth Eagles.

Speaker 2

Amazing, This is incredible.

Speaker 1

So we've had confirmation from the Elizabeth Eagles that you can actually come out and play for them and maybe help stem the blood flow that is the losses, the significant losses that they've been having in four rounds of football.

Speaker 3

All right, well I need to get recruiting there, yes, you do. You need to get some friends on board to see exactly what we can do. What's the difference we can.

Speaker 2

Make working the phones? Please?

Speaker 3

All right, we'll update you on that tomorrow as well. And don't forget us of course as well. Ten K you may want to get yourself on the standby list. Just get yourself on at any stage across the day and just listen out for Ricky Leaked, Tim and jol this afternoon. That's it for us. Goodbye, Jase.

Speaker 2

See

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