Everything You Need To Know Before The Adelaide Cricket Test

We get in the way morning every day, every lazy gentleman adelaides.

Cricket starts tomorrow. There's probably a few people heading there not knowing anything about cricket. That's fine because there's someone in particular in this team who's in the exact same boat. So we're going to do this.

I can't have climbed up the tree and now he can't get down.

Can anybody help him?

It's the Australian fast fall.

Here you go, queeze, who's going to the cricket tomorrow? Oh, it's so good and there's gonna be people that turn up, probably the members and go hang on, hang on? Who's playing again? Who's Australia playing?

What's what's a serious score?

Yeah? Do you ask me?

No? No, no, Australia be India produces.

What is the series score?

Twelve? To do me?

Series?

Thank you? Yes?

It's one berth.

We lost, well done, We got there eventually.

Out of five. I learned that, okay.

Jered Weiteley Twitter, she doesn't know that you don't follow Jered Whaley.

We heard a lot from Jered Whiteley last night at the Test. Much to dinner. I don't worry about that. Yeahs to make cricket Shakespearean almost in the way he talked.

Quite the wordsmith he is, isn't he listened to him? It was a super Bowl? Yeah right, yes, Patrick mahomes of the chiefs test, derretee and testicular fortitude of the hush, like.

What's going on?

Good stuff. Anyway, we're doing a little cricket dummies test and we're going to drive it through produce a flag. But it's mainly aimed to produces are it because always trying to get some tickets. You're trying to get at the back. All your friends are going there.

Yeah, I'm trying to get out the back where the actual action happens.

I've never been to. The jugs are pims. That's all that happens at it done.

And also most of your friends have They all got polo shirts.

That will be turned up thanks boat shoe heaven.

My friends are not that breed of knob, but they will be annoying for sure.

Yeah. Well, what I would employ is that you actually watch the cricket and get around. This guy told me very very good player.

I played it so many times on this show.

Make sure you watch him play.

I know he's done.

All right, let's see how good you are with cricket terms that will be used across the next five days.

I'm going to start with an easy one. Bail stop playing.

Well to stop playing cricket if you're bailing.

So you say at the end of the play, at the end of the.

Call, is it raining?

Okay? Bail?

Are the two small pieces of wood that sit on top of the weekends, They're called the bales.

No, I'm not going to say.

Did you know that there's two small pieces of wood that they fall off and they are the bales.

Okay, that's a good start. Okay.

Declaration.

Oh you're setting up declaration. Yeah, it's not they when when they choose who wins for the day.

What actually happens, our declaration producers are is at the start of each and every Test match, both captains will declare the pay has started and they have the chance for their own team. So Patrick Cummins will do his declaration here at the start. He will go, Australia is the best.

Why did I believe that? What's the declaration?

It's okay, so he declared, what will you declare your innings? You've had enough, You've made enough runs that you don't need to make any more run, so that's bailing.

Oh god, originally there we go.

Okay, okay, this is this is a reasonably easy one.

Man cad.

I just gonna play this in advance.

Explain man cad, man cat cad cad with.

The d man cad, man cad in cricket terms.

What is man cad?

My brain is only saying like a little golf caddy. And that's where the men sit, the man cad because they get brought in. That is the only place my brain is going. What is a man cad?

What is a man cats?

Can you explain man cad? Man catting is when traditionally against the what would you call it? It's not against the laws because now you can do it, but it's against the world. I'm looking for the spirit of the spirit of cricket. It's where the batsman is backing up too far, which you don't understand as well, backing up too far outside of this crease here the batsman that's not facing the balls, and you stop bowling and you run him out because he's out of his crest. Do

You know what, I think we've better pull out now because my next one was duckworth lewis.

Don't do fair. I know what that is, but I can't bloody explain it. No one can explain duckworth again, no one understands.

It's not even slightly for dummies. Duck quiz.

That was hard, Like I was expecting. What's l b W?

Whatever?

It is a wicked and then what happens? What happens if you how are you out by l b W?

You get hitting the leg before the wicket?

Your father he's on money. What I will say is that if you are from Sojunia and you're a bit of a dirty bird, this is the spot for you.

Yes, I've brought something to the table this morning. Mum gets shock of her life after opening X rated shean package for her son. So A mom recently nearly fell over when she opened a package of an item she purchased on shan for a young son. It was a prank can of peanuts, which are typically sold in the prank or magic section of toy stores. What usually pops out is a giant snake of some sort, except this

Yes we can.

Yes God. She shared this on the She and Lover's Australia Facebook group. I didn't know there was such a thing that God signed me up please immediately. Lucky for the mom, the child was not exposed to the accidentally X rated toy. She said, good thing. I opened it just before gifting it to him. Oh my god. Lol, it's one of those cans that you open and a snake or worm pops out. Never seen one of these pop out. Hah Oh darl, No one believes you.

So I'm so shocked and offended all at the same time. Will you return it? Oh man, I lost a receipt to YEA.

Every now and then, my husband likes to jump around the corner and do this go surprise.

It's hilarious when Gred doesn't.

Oh my god, isn't that funny? Produce a black You found a really unique novelty item closer to home, didn't you?

Yeah, two different ones. I actually, well, the same thing, but two different brands. There's Santa's Sack sweater and Rudolph's Rocket Protector. And essentially it's a red knitted bulgy part and a longer part that you would put over the male genitalia right. And you won't believe where I found these items. Cheap as chipsp.

Cheep cheep cheeper chips.

Anything you can possibly need a very affordable price, can I including dig one?

I'm going to regret asking this question, I know for sure. But what possible use could you have for a d warmer?

Sorry warming your dick? Battle? Yes, so welcome to Battle the Bangers. A chance for you to choose the music. It's a nice little wholesome context.

Yes it is. And basically we have a theme each week and then you choose a song, a song, I choose a song, and then you get to vote on the Jodi and Hazy Instagram page for which one you would like to hear.

Okay, so right now it is sitting with two weeks ago twenty two to nineteen, and what's happened is we've had a little meeting behind closed door. So I went for about three four hours actually did it and we decided that the last one is always were two from here. I need to win this week and then win next week the force to draw, and then maybe it carries over into twenty twenty five. It's quite complicated. Okay.

Firstly, thank you for not inviting me to that meeting, because I would have vetoed it.

Oh, I know you were there. You were staring at the cinema. There was dribble coming out. It's just all chameleon thing were done for direction.

Dear, all right, what you got for us this week?

Okay? So the theme of course is ossianthems given the cricket in Adelaide. It starts tomorrow, makes sense, doesn't it. I'm going to kick us off. I'm going to go with this. That's right. Shake those hips, Joe, you haven't downside that for years. Well done. I met at work Land down Under, which you don't hear enough. I've always said we don't play enough men at work on Earth. Your bosses don't listen.

They get in trouble for plade your iroand or something stealing the tune from something else.

Yes, it was the riff. It was this riff. Wasn't it.

Yeah, So if you want to vote for Hazy's very dishonest song, get around it.

Don't you dare go after Colin like that? All right? So what have you got?

That joke's okay? So I cannot see you beating my song this week because it is one of the best songs of all time from the great John Farnham hit us Please, that's my song.

That's where I'm at. I know just how good your song is. So I played my song again. You know what's really depressing? Jokes? I regul. If we both chose the same song, I'd still lose. In fact, I'd lose pretty bad the.

Very difficult to beat anyway.

So from my perspective, you've got to imagine what's more suited to the Aussi cricketers when they're running out onto the field for the first time to morth okay, Yeah, this song, Jordan Farnham's all the Voice, Yes, or men at work Landown?

Damn it?

I lost again.

And they also did a remix of down Under that they play at the cricket.

Sometimes, Yeah, just to get the kids interested.

It's still not going to get you over the line. I don't maybe you should have chosen.

The remix producers. Sorry suggested that. I said, no, I'm going the original. The people will get it. The people will get it.

Why you're so bad in this space?

I have not that bad. I'm only three off you. But we'll see what happens. So I get voting at Jody and Hayes on Instagram for me. Actually, why that hasn't been up that from last week? It's twenty two to nineteen. Thanks for paying attention to that. Joke's all right, Get voting a winning song tomorrow morning at eight o'clock. Joe's. Yesterday we had a little team meeting. We do it every year. It's like a planning for the next year. We went to the Kentown Hotel, absolutely gorgeous, Oh goodness,

I hate so much? You left food on the table. You left three little tacos, pork billy tacos on the table. And that's so unlike you.

So full was I had this beautiful big chicken salad. I sampled some dumplings, had a couple of beers. So I had a glass of wine. Our hearts.

I didn't want to mention that were my dumplings. Yeah, thank you for I like to share my food. Appreciate that I'm generous in this space. I'll tell you what our heart's and our tummies were certainly full. I got ahead of the curve as well. I went early to my son's school and I was like, you know, I'm to get a big run in here.

You're going to run it all off. Feel quite good. And then so I started running in the heat as well. Right about its two o'clock, I started to jog around the Glen Elg area.

Can someone play hero by That's.

What you're thinking, isn't it? Oh my gosh, how did you know? Everyone was thinking that's crazy? Bout you? Well done? I got a k in and my tummy started going and I was like, whoh, he's up there, tiger. Oh good, take it easy. And I said, that's a warning sign that maybe I need to have a bit of a

Oh my god, apologies to Cheep. No wonder it's going out of business, No wonder. It has to sell itself to Glauria Gee.

That's why I was smashed in there before, pushed over kids, the elderly to get to this tip in the midst of a run. But I found a public tourt and thankfully got to do in my business. But that moment where you're like, yeah, something bad's going to happen here, it's a really awkward feeling. And then on top of that, I got home and I explained the situation to my and I said, this is what was going to happen.

But also, Kara, something someone picks that up on their security cameras at home.

You I thought you were physically picking up No one picking this up.

But your life's over. You get film doing that in the street. This job's gone, your whole reputation's gone, everything's gone. What is wrong with your wife?

We have to have surgery, reconstructive surgery to change my face and move to another country. Shocking scenes, right, So we can agree on this, yes, we as to how to lie on this particular situation.

And I was forced to make this choice when I got Bali belly and we were walking back from the beach. Cop that we're back to the hotel and we were literally walking on the beach. I'm going to have to run into the water.

And then.

The next minute Bali sooner.

I'm late to the party when it comes to Uber. Okay, I think I only sort of joined Uber in the last a year or so.

You only joined because Nova gave us a work account. That's the only reason you choice.

That was true. That's boy, oh boy. Don't I frequent and that the loose connection with Nova for some of my trips is outrageous, Like I'm going to the cricket. We once did something for the sacker for the cricket. So therefore, Uber has released its annual writer rating rankings, determining which Australian states had the best and worst ratings on the app.

How do we go?

Should we go? We'll take you from the top to the bottom already. Okay, so number one is and this annoys me a little bit. New South Paps are the best. They have claimed top sport with a score of four point eighty four, up from second last year. So they were second. They are now on top spot and I sort of feel like that they might have been towards the bottom because if you know the whole wanker thing, all right, that's They're closely followed by the Northern Territory.

What was born in camera?

Railing? So would switch one of all the crap places. And in Australia was it was it Gold Coast, Canberra or Hobart? Which one is that? Just sampled all?

I'm a real combination of all three.

And last is Western Australia with a rating of four point seven.

What are they doing in cabs?

Sure? I don't know what they're doing, but they're pissing off the uber drivers.

Oh dear man, all right, what's your rating?

My rating and I just checked the first time is four point eighty five, and that's disappointed.

The hell do you outrate me?

No, I'll tell you while that's disappointing, because every single time, no matter what happens, I will try and strike up a conversation and I will rate the uber driver five stars no matter what. And also I will tip them sometimes five to ten dollars. And I didn't know. I just found this out that when you tip an uber driver, if it's company ACCOUMP, the tip comes out of your account, not the company account. I thought that I was tipping

But that for four point eight five is good, though, give.

But every single Uber drive that I've ever had, I've tipped them, given them five stars. And I'm at four point eight five. So who which Uber driver is for example giving me a four point seven or four or three star or a two star to get my average down even though I've given them five stars and given them a tip.

I think it could have been that smell nice. I can tell you where you watched ito point one five? Is maybe that Uber ride cauld you remember that time we went to that wedding and you've got an ober home and then you vomited red wine all in your I think that might have been the one.

Yes, So what's yours?

I'm four point eight three, and my brain this is such a metaphor for life, because four point eight three is a good rating, right, My brain goes, where's that point one seven gone? What did I do?

I'm thinking that as well.

I think you're upset. I'm losing four point seventy nine.

Whoa nice?

Easily the nicest person in the room.

You are renowned for some obnoxious chats in a Nuba.

Yeah, overly friendly? Maybe I do like a It was the great no Christmas Party of nineteen twenty two. No, you nearly destroyed your life, your career, Jodie.

Oh have you know?

My mother picked me up from that?

That is so much worse, so much?

What do you produce? The flag?

Here we go thirteen twenty fourteen.

If you can beat me because I'm pretty good rebuild uber drivers.

Turns out they love me. I'm a four point eight six.

Oh so you're the best at all, maybe the greatest Uber passenger in Adelaide.

What's your secret. Then I don't talk.

Oh, I wish you'd employ that around here.

Actually, do you know what? I probably speak a little bit too much. Do you remember? We will go into an event and I was by myself and I told you I spoke to the Uba driver. Yeah, and you had it on Nova Yeah. And I said, what's your favorite radio station? He said, to know, Bunny and then he said, I listened to the Breakfast Show. I quite like it. Who he goes, Oh, it's it's Jody Oddie and it's some bloke.

Need to know.

I need to know now.

I need to know.

I need to know.

I need to know what to news today, to know.

This is what you need to know.

You know what you need to know with Jody and Hazy.

Remember yesterday, Hazy, we said that the Commonwealth Bank we're going to administer a three dollar fee from January if people wanted to withdraw their own cash from one of the bank's branches. Yes. Well, they got absolutely smashed after making this announcement.

I understand that people don't like paying fees, but there's a lot of options available for customers to not pay this fee.

Which was basically like, oh, look, the fee is going to stay this week. Yeah, you just work out alternate ways to not pay the fee.

So that was Angus Sullivan on Channel nine's Current Affair. Well, my goodness, after Ali Langdon, the host went him and went him hard. The Commonwealth thing have announced a massive backflip, Haolisen.

We're going to pause the changes that we announce and we're going to spend the next six months individually engaging with each of those customers to make sure that we have a solution tailored for each one of them. We acknowledge that we haven't got the communications on this right. We've made this more difficult for our customers than we intended it to be.

The backlash was soap fear. So you're like, oh, whoops, No, no, we're going to We're going to pivot. Yep, we're going to go in a different direction.

You take it back having said that they're not scrapping the fee altogether, it's just pausing those changes. But the question is, how is a bank that rated in nine point eight billion dollars last financially you justify charging customers three bucks to get access to their own money.

Yes, that's the thing, isn't it. Some of these big companies and they're like, we made a loss money, Yeah, make what you thought.

You would make nine point eight billion in a cost of living crisis.

Don't worry about and gentlemen, don't stress about the Commonwealth Bank. Okay, it's fine, They're okay financially, it's fine. All right, let's sleep easy.

I just feel like a lot of their executives will be fine when they take a big, old fat bonus home to their families over Christmas.

Yeah, let's talk about some of the most mispronounced words, shall we, Yes, And look, there's a few tricky ones here. So they've done a little bit of a collection of the most mispronounced words of twenty twenty four. The name of the actress Zendaya. Oh yeah, it's often mispronounced as Zendia, but it should be Zendaya.

I think people saying, I said, yeah, so you know who's you know who is responsible for making these mistakes too. It's us. It's news anchors, politicians and other public figures.

It's saying zend My gosh. The other one is I thought it was Chapel Roan. It's so chap Roan. People were saying Chapelle Rowan Chappell, same Chappelle, Rowan, Oh my god, Okay. And the other one as well is Kamala Harris. People were saying comm Ala, Comala, Kamala Harras all sorts.

People can't get that right.

Names can be very very true.

She's the other one. She in not Sheen?

What's she Charlie Sheen? Charlie Shean.

It's one of the most Mike she one of the most popular websites on the planet where you buy stuff that is ridiculously cheap.

Well, here's one for you, is it.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I think I think it's Timu.

I thought it was as well, but then every time I've heard it a couple of times on new sites, they say, Temu.

I don't know why you're pretending to Panex but in this space, because you never would have visited that website in your life. Or Sheen Shine.

Yes, still trying to work out how to access timor Or as a teamer

Questions China will find you on that front.