Even Cheetahs Need Emotional Support Dogs!

Quick get you the morning every day, Adelaides Jose who ever stopped and wondered exactly what potentially your spirit animal might be?

Oh, I haven't spent a lot of time on it.

Yeah, it's okay.

I've often wondered, and I think I've found my exact spirit animal based on my social behaviors, and I feel like a lot of people can connect with me, particularly my wife. Okay, cheaters are so shy and socially awkward that zoos sometimes pair them with emotional support dogs.

That's right, there's a bit of cheater and all of this.

I feel cheaters might be the biggest cats and fastest animals on earth.

It's quite flex.

Yeah, they're very sensitive beings, and they get so anxious that I don't know how to socialize with each other, and they get too stressed to procreate. So what they do is, in some of these zoos they pair them with dogs, in particular golden retrievers, because everyone locks a retriever. Retrievers bring the best out of each other, and all of a sudden, they're calmer, they're more relaxed, and they mate with each other.

I have so many questions. Okay, firstly, how do they know that a cheat is feeling anxious?

How do they know.

That with the dog?

No?

No, no, no, no no.

How do the zoo keepers know that the cheatera is feeling nervous?

Probably just a ratic behavior, probably because you're wondering why they're not outprocreating and that chain is off in the corner watching its favorite Netflix show which has seen four or five times before, unlocked in its basement.

That's one sign.

But the second question is why doesn't I thought cheaters were quite aggressive? Is it not turning on the Golden Retriever?

Yeah, I'm not really sure.

Gold What about Golden retrievers as well? They'll even be mates with a Cheaterah, they could get more than destroyed in an instant. They're like, no, it's that we'll be friends, We'll be fred cheat is just misunderstood, and the Golden Retriever's.

Right, yeah, so true to just picture. It's just sort of like following the little cheetoh around, you wouldn't be able to keep up.

It just sort of makes me feel like we're all the same. So don't think it's just you. We're all cheaters at some stage. Okay, we're all so socially awkward and not up for it. It stopped me from going to so many places when I know there's going to be some sort of planned social interaction.

Yeah, I get quite awkward sometimes it's school pickups.

Watching you trying to wrap up two things, watching you attempt small talk but then attempt to wrap up the conversation up do you run out of small talk? Is a human sight to bother.

Emotional support dog. Place emotional support dog over here. I need to know, I need to know now, I.

Need to know.

I need to know.

I need to know.

What's in the news today is what you need to know?

What you need to know with Jody and dy.

Ah, oh my very goodness, the words not on in South Australia and the leads on inside the four walls of our footy club because we know we have to stay in that space.

Matthew, Nick's just keeping a lid on things. Lids off everyone else, I'll.

Everyone and all the supporters have taken the lids off, especially after Saturday Night.

Lid's been off about four or five weeks.

So, yeah, it was a super impressive performance. That's the first time I've beaten collingwad.

In how many years, Look, well, since nine years I think it is. Yeah, last ten games, Pies have got that and they've been so there's been some close games as well.

Finally, the Crows on the right side of it.

I'm sure maybe there's a few little lucky moments at least two throws one from ben Gez to Isaac coming and also Marcaine and look sure a raally Philthorpe should definitely given away a free kick when he just randomly booted the ball was about a minute to go away from the umpire.

Hey, hey, you take your luck sometimes.

Excuse me, We've had our fair share of bad luck. The hadlow Crows coming into finals, so we'll take it. Did you see which was quite cute? Nick Daykos met text walkers some before.

It was that.

Honestly, he's one of the absolute best things that I've seen. And such is the power and the popularity of Nick Daekos.

Yeah, like seriously, Dad's dex walker.

Yeah, and you're like, actually, I go for Connor and Nick Dakos is my best text.

Site mate, mate. I'm one of the all time.

Great I'm a Crow's legend, my kid gold Yeah, yeah, what do I have to do imagine not even being the most popular AFL player in your own dam that awful.

It's such a kid story.

And can I just say as well, I actually love that, you know obviously Texts and his wife Ellie are like, yeah, go for it, go for a few, to go for the pies, get around it. You know what, We've got some connections. We'll make sure that you can meet Nick Daykos.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's incredible.

What is not incredible is that Adelaie forward Isaac Rankin is now under investigation for an alleged homophobic slur directed at an opponent unnamed, we don't know who during Saturday Nights Win over the Pies. If this is the scary part, If he's found guilty, he faces missing the remainder of the season in what would be a massive blow to the Crow's final answers.

Yeah, this is so obviously this history this year as well was this year with a power from Gold Coast. Anyways, Jack Graham not too long ago for West Coast and he was given four weeks off. Yeah, so look, this is going to be a huge story across the news cycle.

Start. It's going to be a huge Sorry for the next couple of days. Yeah, I think.

From here it'll be you know, from Collingwood's perspective, what they heard, if there was anything to hear umpires, Did they hear anything. It's an ongoing investigation. Yeah, and there's still a very good chance that there's nothing to see here. But it's a huge story that's going to start today.

Yeah.

Well Graham got four weeks and will Poalcott five, So for goodness sake, that would that would be massive. Having said that, we can't believe we're having these conversations. Yeah, No, it feels very much at odds at all the education around this stuff. So anyway, watch this space because I'm sure no doubt more will come out today.

As you say, absolutely.

The following segment is for mature audiences only and may contain contraphic language and nudity. Nothing you'll see it if easily offended, well you're about to find out just.

How your father he's only money.

The dirty talking parrot. I'm sorry to launch straight in, but it's all I could do. In Queensland, an escape pet parrot named Rico made local headlines after spending three days perched around a busy shopping strip loudly yelling obscenities and sexual innuendos at unsuspecting shoppers.

Parrots man okay.

Witnesses say the bird's repertoire included you ready for this, I'm gonna put my best parrot on, who's your daddy?

Nice melons? And also mysteriously put the kettle on bee boy.

Well, that one's learnt. That's very much a learnt trained call there from the parrot.

Okay, So some pedestrians laughed, others were deeply confused, and one elderly man reportedly spat out his coffee when the parrots aest did something unprintable about his tree. Local shopkeepers said Rico seemed to work the crowd like a seasoned comedian, hopping between awnings to deliver fresh lines.

I love Rico.

When finally retrieved by his owner, the man sheepishly admit, yeah, I might have taught him one of one or two things. After a few beers, Rico, back on his perch at home, was last heard calling the family cat as sexy pussy.

And that's where Ricco took it just a little bit too far. You know, like you're sort of flirting with it, Rico.

You're kind of lovable and adorable and cute, and then he calls the cat a sexy pussy.

At least he said that in the privacy of his own home.

Job job, job, that is a good job. Monday morning, Jocob.

Yeah, three attempts at getting you in the mood with a bit of humor.

Who wants to go first? Is that you produce you, Lucy, I'll go first. Okay, what are you going on?

The attempt I see this morning?

They just got to put yourself out of there, I guess.

So.

A boy was at a restaurant and he read a sign that advertised fat free French fries. He was very health conscious. He thought, great, I'll order some, so he does. He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the deep fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container. The boy says, wait a minute. They do not look fat free. The cook says, sure they are. We only charge for the potatoes. The fat is free.

Nah, classics just a plant word. They gets you.

Gotta watch out for restaurants slaves in term, they'll get you. Yeah, it all depends on where the comma is.

Yep and anyone who tries to argue that potato chips are free.

No, remember, when you're going through that phase, you're like, but what about the goodness of the potato?

My daughter still argues that potatoes.

It's wonderful, all right.

My term two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns the other and says, you know, I don't know what else. Whenever I go home after I've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I go to the driveway. I shut off the engine and I coast in via the garage. I take my shoes off before.

I go to the house.

I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late. His body looks at him, says, well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.

Here, take it from a season pro.

I screeched into the driveway, I slam the door, I storm up the steps, I throw my shoes into the closet, jump in the bed and say, hey, babes, how bad.

And she's always asleep. It's a different approach.

Yes, yes, okay, have you heard the joke about the lie detect Commissione No, So this dad buys a lie detecting robot and it actually slaps people when they light, so he decided to test it out at dinner. The dad says to the Sun, where were you today instead of school? And the Sun was like, h nah, I was at school and the robot slaps him.

Okay, okay okkkka.

I was at my friend's house watching a movie. And the dad says what movie and the son says, toy story and the robot slaps him again. The sounds like fine, it was a dirty movie, and the dad goes, what at your age, I never even knew what a dirty movie was. And then the robot flaps the dad, and then the mum burst out laughing and says, ha, he's definitely your son, and then the robot slaps the mum.

Some real paternity issues there, robots. I need to know now, I need to know, I need to know.

I need to know what news today?

This is what you need to know.

What you need to know with Jody and as adelaide Ford.

Isaac Ranken is under investigation for an alleged homophobic slur directed at an opponent during Saturday Nights win over Collingwood. Should he be found guilty your faces missing the remainder of the season in what would be.

A massive blow to the because he is that good.

Isn't that huge? Huge?

Going by a previous similar situations was Will Power and Gold Coast, he's got five weeks and Jack Gray more recently who's self reported and was given a four week stint on the sideline. So this would be a massive blow for the Crows.

Huge blow. Isac Rankin? You've met him on quite a few occasions. What's he like?

He's good West Hadelaide boy, He's an absolute ripper. Yeah, And it was Alex Neil Bouren who was in here saying he might be one of the most lovely and caring teammates that he's got. Yeah, right, Deutelaide Crows. So there wouldn't be a person that who has met Isaac Crankin. He wouldn't go in and say the most beautiful and

Well, I mean, no one knows what words were uttered or what's come out of his mouth. What we do knows this needs to be stamped out of the game, all forms of it. But yeah, I think you're right in just sort of call your jets before you know. We don't know what Umpire has heard. We don't know what Collingwood are going to say. We don't know any of that.

Well, that's the big questions, isn't it. I mean, where's it come from? Has it come from a complaint from Collingwood? Does it come from something that the umpires have heard? Has it come from something that someone of the crowd has heard.

Yeah, so these are all the unanswered questions.

It's what we can guarantee is it's set to be a big, big couple of days in terms of this being the lead story for the Crows, given.

Where they're at right now. I just looked up the micropros.

I was going to say, does it get wrapped up pretty quickly like what happens now?

Well, I don't know, because the Jack Graham one was wrapped up very quickly because he's self reported, right, So, I mean there's a lot of questions behind the scenes. What was going on, but self reported, I mean there was straight away. That's an omission of guilt. So here's the punishment and move on from there versus yeah, who knows. Yeah this time tomorrow, cheez, we're going to know some new information.

Yeah.

Absolutely nervous weight the Crows fans on this one.

Top sixteen Grays Across Adelaide Today Royal Adelaide Show, Family passes not to far away again jokes. Yeah, we feel like we're saying that a lot. Do you know where we are because we do.

It each and every hour without fail?

Are we going to do it?

Right up?

Unto the Royal Adelaide Show.

Straight after the news next we're going to tell you exactly what this massive announcement regarding Benson Boone is. It would seem that Taylor Swift is well and truly during the rounds of the minute.

Oh, the conspiracy theorists are up and about over this one. So obviously she went on her boyfriend Travis Kelsey's podcast several hours long.

By the way, it's not worth it, though, I'll bet you the Swift is We're tune in for every single micro.

Second, well exactly right now.

On that podcast, she talked a lot about baking sour dough bread, and these cts or the conspiracy theorists are now suggesting that that is.

A code for she's going to perform at the Super Bowl. I haven't listened to this.

I think Taylor Swift is going to be the Super Bowl halftime show performer. I don't think Tror Swath there's actually baking sourdough Brad. I think it was an Easter egg. Where is the super Bowl?

The share gets in Santa Clara Levi.

She said she's thinking about sourdough sixty percent of the time. It's Super Bowl sixty in Levi's stadium, home of the superhol I think she's doing the Super Bowl.

Is going to do the Super Bowl? What bomb?

Shell?

God?

And there's another one too doing the rounds at the moment that her and Travis are engaged, because when they were promoting said podcast, someone zoomed in on his home screen on his phone and it was a picture of him and Taylor and she's holding her hand up like that like you know when you show off an engagement ring with a rig Yeah, ah, what, I don't know if there was a ring or not, Like that's incidental, But it was the fact that she was doing that.

What the fact that she had her hand up in that position.

Correct?

Oh my god, no, No, I take that last bomb back.

That is ridiculous, seriously and remarkably through all of that, that little monkey in my brain it's still going, still going so hard.

Okay, you bring content to the table, then.

Taylor Swift is everywhere.

Sealed section with TIF from Jan's.

First is.

There's Mike.

Could start.

Hey, I'm just going to say this right off the back, because this is super exciting. We've got a four hundred dollars specsavers about you to give away here.

So did you say four hundred dollars or four hundred rep because there's a massive difference.

One hundred dollars four hundred simoleons.

Yes, so that is sitting right there, but it's lucrative as a trader. We need your salacious wedding stories. What went pear shaped at the wedding? Oh?

Yeah, because I love a spicy wedding story.

Had an incident with your mum and dad?

Yes, I wasn't there at the time.

No, I can't imagine while at your parents wedding dot some.

Kids are I wasn't in this instance. They are approaching their forty fifth wedding anniversary.

Isn't that remark? Which is remarkable? And Linda and Allen are so in love still, aren't they. Oh I guess.

Yes, story they are. Yeah, no, they are, and it's beautiful and it's wholesome.

They're in love. We're flicking through the wedding album and I can't help but notice there's not many photos in the album. It was a lovely one of Linda as a head shot, a nice little family photo, but beyond that, there's not a lot.

And I went, ah, there's the rest.

What happened at the wedding was the wedding photographer got blind, not literally that also would have been a problem your photographers blind. He just got really into the drink's package. Yes, and so Mum and dad said all their photos were blurry.

That's what happened.

Sometimes all the photos of blurry. Mummy said they only had two roles of film to choose from.

So Linda would have been devastated at the time, wouldn't she.

Of course?

But also was he helping himself to the drinks package?

Andrew, Yeah, you absolutely furious.

Just can't get those moments back, No, how to get it back, particularly back in those days.

Yeah, dad said it was full of the spirit of love and the spirit's package in general.

Yes, I know, it's so sad. And yeah, that's back in the day.

No iPhones either, so it's not like anyone else was snapping away going don't worry, here's.

Some That was it, and then we wore.

Then we went through the real put the polaroid cameras on the table pace, didn't we Can you remember that?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that was kind of cool and trendy.

People started taking photos of their own never reachions.

Oh happens, may or may not have happened at my first wedding.

If you've done that, grow up, what are you doing?

I'm just getting off done about sixteen.

I remember in twenty fifteen, I went to a wedding.

And the dad of the groom and the dad of the bride got into a fistfight. No really, if you separated, proper budges are thrown, and oh my gosh, I think for anyone who's been married, one of your biggest fears is someone from your family ruining it.

Oh yeah, that's.

Bad, that's very nerve wracking, because especially if you've got a few members of your family who are a bit loose.

Oh yeah, your drink is my wedding as well. I nearly was a subject of my own wedding. I reckon it got too about nine to thirty. And your boy went a bit too it you.

Too sampled the drinks package?

Yes, okay, but.

On top of that as well, I had my groom's been in from like ten o'clock in the morning with an expensive bottle of Scotch whiskey. I don't know what to do in those situations. Don't drink in self defense, I was drinking it. So nine point thirty I had to have a bit of a time out. Yeah, so I'm missing for a good half an hour to forty five minutes. We regrouped, well, I had to regroup, and I had my brother in law who was filling me up full of water and making sure that I came back to life.

And I just got there. I must say, it's missing from your own wedding. What can I say?

When you went off?

She never knew, She absolutely never knew, all right, okay, thirteen twenty fourteen, This yes.

Chelsea from Halleck. Good morning, Chelse.

Good morning.

How about you?

Good What happened at the wedding?

So my parents paid for quite a large a large portion of my wedding, So in all fantas, they got to invite a bunch of their friends. Yep, and one of them was a bone drunk and she let Louie she got her ver drunk voter voting the jet and ended up rapping all of my jewelry off, causing a saying, well, we got kicked out about five times, keeping.

You keep on getting back in. Oh see, that's probacy.

So that's the thing where like mom and dad like, well, we paid for most of the wedding.

We could come stuff up if we want.

To actually talking about controversial things at wedding. We went to Josh's.

Wedding last year, as you decided you literally wanted to hang from the rafters.

Hang on, are you saying that I was a nuisance? I thought that I was best on.

Well I.

Didn't say it, but certainly the man on security at the venue came over and suggested you might have been being a bit of a usage.

The hell of a move, though, wasn't It was flying through the air like Benson Boone caught the raft.

It wasn't Bens and Boom. Good morning, Shelley, Good morning guys.

How are we good?

What happened?

Well? I don't know about a scandalous wedding, but it was extremely stressful. I was the maid of honor for my sister to her second wedding. On the way there, she said, oh, I don't know if I can go through with this. I thought it was nerves. She was feeling sick, you know, as you do. And she said, no, you don't understand. I don't think I can go through with this. So I gave her the choice of I'll go tell everyone you know what, what have you. She

What an event then, Oh, and then I.

Ended up with a migraine.

So yeah, yeah, it was great.

A wonderful day.

Is memorable.

I thought Shelley was going to say when my sister said that I didn't want to go through with it.

I thought she was going to say so I gave her a valium and just.

Thank you.

Shelley Brooke from Evanston, South Good morning, Good morning. What scandalous, salacious thing happened at the wedding?

Well it was my wedding and one of my bridesmaids. You know, we started with the mimosas in the morning and you know, got her hair makeup done and by the time we got to the wedding she was quite a bit drunk and we had an open bar and she got cut off quite a few times. Somehow kept managing to get more dry and at the end of the night I still leaving because we had a house to go back to. She must have watched her was in the bathroom and lifted her dress up and took are we on the floor in the foyer?

Oh my very goodness.

It was until the next day when the venue owner called me and said that they had it.

On Camera's great great and she didn't.

Remember any of it when I told her the next.

Day that's not something I do. I can't imagine myself doing this. Well, he's a footage Oh my goodness.

All right, we need to take this one back from the city. Good morning, Good morning, guys.

How are you goood?

What a salacious thing happened at the wedding?

So this was my parents wedding, many many moons ago. So my father brought his girlfriend to the wedding as a guest and then decided to go and have relationshiped her during the wedding or after the wedding, and then before he had lashed with my mother on the wedding night.

Oh my goodness, that's the bomb show we're looking for.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then at the same time, when mom was after giving birth to me, he would be in bed having with her.

Say that again, that last wee mom was having giving birth birth, dad was off having with his MISSI.

Yeah, in their bed.

Gosh, do you speak to your dad and his girlfriend. No.

He then walked out when I was eighteen months old. And I have had tried her contact once or twice because my kids once started their grandparents or the grandfather, and he said, no, I don't.

Want to do with you.

And but he's still with that same woman.

So for him, the gosh, the honiest man in the world. What is your dad Peppy La Puke.

Well, yeah, yeah I got for him, but yes, the.

Girlfriend to the wedding.

Thank you. It's the real power.

I'm definitely sorry about all your childhood trauma. But I'm sure a four hundred dollars spec saves voutual some of the pain.

That would be amazing.

Yeah, thank you.

I'm still recovering from that. Yeah, that was a lot.

It was a lot to take in.

Yeah, so if Lenna and Allen are listening this morning, your parents that they'd be going out, what's a few blurry photos.

After dad's girlfriend to wed oh from pies first, Thank you so much.

Shake you.

I need to know, I need to know now, I.

Need to know.

I need to know.

I need to know what news today to know just what you need to know.

What you need to know with Jodie and Ady and he asked you this, do you think you could ride a lawnmower, one of them on ones for twelve hours straight?

Oh?

Geez, probably not for twelve hours. We had a ride on when I was little growing up. Click went tom oh Yeah yeah.

Really good stuff, but not sort of speeds anywhere upwards of about six or seven k's an now, yeah, well.

These molls can get up to eighty eight k's per hour, these ones. So every year they do it in West Sussex. Dozens of dry drivers line up at the start. It's called Lamo. It's an annual twelve hour lawnmower race in Wisboro Green. So it runs through the night from seven o'clock at night to seven am and whoever goes around the track the most wins.

There you go, fun game, there they go. Ohre it goes.

It's a one point four kilometer course. The teams must do four hundred and twenty laps.

Boring. That is boring.

And also there's no lawn left. Look at that photo.

It's done. Go get rid of the catchment area in the back because you don't need it. You don't need it. You're not catching any clippings.

Reckon mowing, ovals and things for a living would.

Be fun, satisfying. There is something incredibly satisfying about.

Mowing a lawn.

If my wife is this thing right now, she's gonna ask the question when it was the last time that you did the lawns Because I need to tell you, I need to stick up for myself. Right here, my wife does the lawns and you should see you should see her on a whipper snipper.

She goes, oh my, can she cut an edge?

Can she cut an edge?

She can cut an edge absolutely perfect, the most perfect straight line, and she can do it almost.

Jogging really so quick.

Your woman, missus, My woman's a cat.

Your wife is a keeper. There's no question about that.

So when I when I do the lawns, particular whips snip, it's all it's all rickety and edgy, and it's straight line.

So she's it needs to be studied.

Yeah, right, Does she put lines in it like the Adelaide oval.

No, no, no, no, no no no, I'm not quite like I often I wonder how they do that as well.

Well don't they just change the level of the catch?

I don't know that would makes sense.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

What kind of makes sense? No idea, But yeah, I know what you meaning. It's like a zig zat sort of pattern.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, oh good moment.

Chat mate joining us now is Damien hoff from Adelaide oval Hoffy.

First question,