EATING EARWAX And Other Shocking Red Flags

Adelaides people on online dating.

Yes, so, my very goodness, so yes, we've had a lot of feedback on this. I spoke yesterday about my sister in law who is delving into the online dating pool again, just dipping her toe, you know, And what she found is a bloke who she was chatting to, who seem quite nice for all intents and purposes, and quite normal until she said what are your interests, to which he said, I love thigh high boots.

Oh my gosh, do you know what. I'd like to say, that's the thing for blokes. But that's very very niche.

It's quite niche, isn't Actually, In fact, I've done a I've gone down the rabbit hole with this and done a deep dive.

So.

Boot worshiping, also known as boot fetishism fetishism fetishism, is a practice that involves an attraction to boots or footwell. This fetish can include a wide rain activities such as kissing, licking, or massaging the boots, wearing the boots as part of play, or even admiring the boots on a partner.

The boot licking thing. Yeah, I'm just not sure, to be.

Honest, Well, do you know why it's arousing because boots can be seen as a symbol of power, dominance, or submission. So anyway, he was into it and he was like, I really want to find a like minded person.

She's like, I'm out.

Red flag.

Yeah, red flag. Let's talk red flags, can we?

Yeah?

Thirteen twenty fourteen. We've had some already had a bit of text feedback, but let us know what red flags have you encountered?

Yeah, and probably particularly on dating websites and things. Yeah, because people really want to put themselves out there and show you exactly what's going on, which is good. Transparency is really good in this space and it can make a nice educated decision early.

Also, it's brave, isn't it to go, Hey, this is who I am.

Yeah, take it or leave it?

Love boots? Yeah, got boots, don't have them, don't want to know ya? Yeah, get that boot in my mouth. Stuff like that. That's what that blog was basically saying to your sister in law in a way. Jade's I remember in terms of I haven't experienced at me red flags, but I know for a fact that one time when I want a date, there was a red flag. There was experience the other way.

So you you gave off a red flag.

I think I was definitely the red flag. I remember going on a date with a lovely young Christian lady. Oh, and this was like I reckon forty five minutes into the date. I've told this story before as well, that we sort of wrapped it up nice and early. Yes, And then she started talking about how she didn't believe in special time, special mummy, daddy times before marriage, okay, to which I agreed with her. And then burst into flames and in her world that was a.

Bit of a red flag when you were on fire.

She was like the red flags where you literally burst into flames and we had to get an extinguisher to put you out.

So, you know, you know what, good morning.

Good morning guys. What a solid topic.

For a theory is a really really wholesome direction.

So rather be so, yeah, I as well just share my trauma on national radio. So not as bad as the boot thing. But so this guy wanted me to like sit on his lap, and he wanted me to like he wants to sniff my hair, and he liked to like stroke my hairsh straight.

Did he think that you were a small porcelain doll, like what was going on?

Yeah, it kind of gave me that vibe like, and I didn't care for it. So you know what, everybody it's their own whatever's not.

Not my vibe.

So I was like, I'm I'm just going to go.

Now, you found yourself a little hair sniffer.

I did?

Yes, okay, So can I just say I don't want to sound creepy and I need some backup here, said, produce a flag freshly washed hair on a on a woman, on my wife. It's really all about it, like, it's absolutely lovely, oh Jesus, especially if it's a really nice Laurel Champille conditions. It smells delicious.

Do you have an example of a nice conditioner that's that's doing it.

For your flat, Garnia? Yes, it's really nice, particularly well when she's sitting on my lap and I get the stroke and I'm just joking too far.

Thank you so much. Good morning, Rose.

Good morning guys.

We're good. Your red flag? What was it?

Ear wax sniffing and ear wax licking.

That's the one. Okay, So Rose, how did this come to be? How far into the relationship?

Well, cuddle time and there was a definite attraction to my ears, and you know, he just wouldn't move away from them. And I suppose, you know, sniffing and hung insertion in the ear hole and so as if that wasn't bad and up, and then I found him digging in my bathroom dust bins, ear buds.

There it is. That's the one.

How long after that? How long after that did you end the relationship? Rose?

Oh?

Well, actually I got into it myself. I could sort of understand.

There's a pleasant smell.

Associated, yes, but they're like, yeah, other reasons for us splitting Not necessarily because I have continued that desire to smell ear.

Given a bit of a sniff, it's not it's not quite as pungent as the sort of toe jam. But yeah, there is a distinct smell.

Okay, Rose, I can safely say I'll never forget this call.

Yeah, I'll take you away from it. Yeah, Rose from West Croydon. Let's continue this conversation at willow bend.

Y goodness me, Rose, Wow? Shall we take one more?

Yes?

I'm stunned by that.

It'd tell you what if you didn't have headphones on. Joe's all up in your ear.

Philip good morning, Good morning, how are you guys?

Good?

What's your red flag there, Philip?

Oh, you prepared to be absolutely disgusted. It's sparkling water.

If you drink that, I instantly don't trust you.

Why would you want to drink something that tastes like TV static? I would rather drink the Murray River then put sparkling water anywhere near my mouth.

Again.

Oh, that's a solid point.

You need some taste, okay, Philip?

Does that mean you don't trust me? I love sparkling water. I've got a soda stream. I'll order it when I go to a restaurant. One of those big bombs.

It's ridiculous.

I might have to change the radio station. Now here's one. Therefore, you, Philip, you've got two options, sparkling water or eating ear wax? Which one you're going for?

A right? Thank you?

Phil It's nice, isn't it. We're learning a lot, said.

My mind's blown.

Yeah, we're learning on the fly. That's completely fine.

That's so true.

Oh, congratulations to everyone who got involved with that, firstly sharing some of these outrageous red flags, but also on the standby list to see cold plate in Sydney. Yeah, I just need to process if.

I know, I know, we need a few minutes. I was waiting for roasts. Oh yeah, I was so disgusted. I walked away from that man so quickly. And then she's like, I got into.

It, actually, wow, give it a try. So anyway, next couple of minutes, you know what, me and Jodie going to go. I feel good jokes because my family's back.

Oh no, you're a lonely little boy for a few days.

It really was four days with no wife and no kids. I think the first day, and there was one particular day, Saturday, I had off and I was like, do you know it was nice. I went to the gym a couple of times, and I think I went out for breakfast, had some genuine may time. But then also, too much maytime can be a little bit scary. Yes, it can a little bit confronting. Yeah, sometimes you need those little voices because when those little voices start popping into your

Yeah, And I suppoke to you on the phone in the afternoon and I was like, do you because you're like, oh, I'm going to go get some dinner. And it was like, do you need to prepare some food for your family for when you get when they get home.

It's a great idea.

And you were like, Car's reorganized to wool worst delivery. She was so organized that she had organized food to be delivered to the home. That woman is incredible.

Yes, I called. I said, right, what do you want for dinner? What needs to be in the house. I already saw it. All you have to do is just go to the front of the house and bring in the shopping bag.

Wow.

Missed that too, By the way, did you know I got that? What I did do though, and I thought that I was being really really organized. I went to the airport and you know the service station here, there's United Yes, I hung out the air for like twenty minutes. Yeah, myself, little soda water, and I just hung out there in the car park before things got close, because she was supposed to turn up at seven fifteen and then go from there.

Never on time though, no, So you have a few options when you're at the airport to hang around.

You can do the ike at car park.

You can go across the road there's like a little cafe and this little car park there. Or you can do the United and get yourself a little you know, treat like ten year old.

Yes, I was starting to get some eyeballs from the guy there, so then I got on the move and then I went across the other side. Do you know where the feds are from? Cafe? I went right off in the corner there, right next to the airport, and I just hung out. Yeah, And I sat there in the car. It's Kara's car, so I don't know much about it, and I watched a twelve minute Ricky Gervaise

What happened?

The battery had run out. Oh my god, it's a brand new bloody car too, by the way, and the battery had run out, said, I have the cool car back. Who's just spent forty million hours going from one side of the earth to the other to get with three kids? By the way, Sonny's one. He's not handling the whole travel thing very well. He's not very efficient in the air. No, I had to tell her, I'm sorry, I've run the battery out, and I literally had to say to it.

Why such a disaster. So what'd you do?

I don't know? Well how many times is this going to happen? Her mum's partner drove his ute to the car and jump start at me. So it's the latest by about forty five minutes. Gosh, he's a lucky girl. Your father, he's on the money. Six nothing. Not a real chance for us, in particular for myself, just to really have a crack talk about some of those things that we definitely can't talk about. Probably after seventh.

No, it's definitely not when they're a little years around. I'm worried about you.

Yeah, I'm worried about myself, to be honest, and it'll all make sense, yes, when I link myself to this headline. Okay, Men who self love to frequently could find themselves becoming flops in the bedroom. That's the thing. This is something that's been put forward by leading in moderation. Self pleasure helps to reduce stress, improve slave quality of mood, but it can become an unhealthy habit and trigger a form of erectile dysfunction. No man wants to hear those two words.

Against pot I know, I know you have.

This is particularly pertinent for you because you have just spent five days time alone.

Yeah, it gave me a really good opportunity just to find myself for myself, reconnect with myself if you will.

Jones, you've pied yourself.

Got absolutely by myself. Who would have thought like this? Literally this popped up on my desk and I was like, what sort of message is this from above? That I am the first probably case of pied. I'm not even kidding it. So last night I came last night exhausted to forty in hour trip back on a five hour stop over Sydney with three hits and she said, what's sort of exercise there? I said, nothing unusual, and she

It's good now, it's good.

Yeah.

Yeah, because there was a time when I was like trying to log onto websites and things and it was like, oh, snop, sorry, you don't have enough memory to log onto this website.

Funny that isn't it? The text God into yesterday?

Yeah.

I think it was about thirty five of them in here trying to work out what was going on. I think they poured a bucket of cold water on at one stage. So the report came back, Oh what as to what was actually wrong with the computer?

Do you tell?

Yes? It reads action. We closed multiple instances of Chrome and rebooted the computer. There was more than a eighty instances of Chrome active which can drastically reduce the speed and function of the PC. I need those instances of chrome activating themselves. Well, you had eighty tabs up. You had eighty tabs up?

How do I close them?

Well, you need to work it out. How do I do that? So next time when there's eighty tabs there and you're like, bloody hell no over what's going on? Give us a decent computer. At the computer's like, I'm exhausted. All right, you've got eighty instances of Buddy Jagged or whatever it is up there.

Oh yeah, make your mind.

This week's been particularly active me trying to find a dress for this event.

The computer's literally smoking as we speak.

What the fork? We're saying what the fork? The other day.

I've had a lot of deliveries this week from dress companies so iconic, etcetera, etcetera. And this is because we have what's called the acros on the weekend, which are the radio awards, and I can't decide what to wear. So I've just cast the net wide. AnyWho don't tell my husband that that is information he doesn't need to know.

So instead of selling on one dress, you bought five or six and you'll choose the best one and then keep the others or return them.

Ah, I'm not quite sure yet what I'm going to do with this situation.

What about it.

I was on the phone to you yesterday when the when the courier arrived with two dresses.

Everyone you said something along the lines of You're like, you're trying to be like real clever and funny. You're like, hey, don't tell my husb when I brought these mules. And once again with the not knowing the difference between brought and bored, the jokes actually on new muscles, it's ours brought there. Where'd you bring them from? No, He's like, no, I brought.

Them to you.

I was trying to be so clever with the badger, and then it just got this bloke on the phone going, oh Jesus Christ brought or did you brought? Or did you bought the dresses? Anyway, that was a separate courier experience. That one was quite pleasant until you interjected. But another courier came the other day and pulled up and the dog went nuts.

So little see the toy kervoodle who weighs.

One and a half kilos as you point out pants up to the gate and was like, well all excited, right, welcome, which I think was super cute. Anyway, I said, sid settle down, and the courier was like, hands me the parcel.

Looks at my dog, goes boy or a girl.

I'm like, oh, she's a little girl, and he goes, yeah, looks like she needs a walk.

Oh okay, thanks mate, appreciate that dog whisperer.

All right, mate, I mean I literally just got home from work.

I'm exhausted.

I will take the dog for a walk, as I do each and every day this afternoon.

But tell me when my dog needs a walk.

Couincidanda, I SAIDs like you should listen to you. I don't mind this bloke.

Unsolicited advice. It drives me insane. Thirteen twenty four ten. Get involved in this conversation. Please, when did you get some unsolicited advice?

Anybody gets an appy with us as well? Want to make a standby list whole play, Yeah, flights, accommodation, everything happens.

Since we've brought some tickets.

Unsolicited advice for what the fork?

The Fork Unsolicited Advice Discuss thirteen twenty four ten. I had a courier pass me in my parcel and then tell me that my dog needed to walk.

Dogskept.

Yeah, I always caught him before the dog respray.

No, deliver the parcel, don't deliver advice that I don't want to hear. Thank you.

How did they go down? As well? In terms of the feedback that you get back, you say thank you very much.

No, No, I was actually quite stunned. I was like, what what what did we what to do? Like I was a ten year old again, don't you tell me she just.

Put a poor and she was like, yes, yes, sir.

Since started clapping, went back on two legs.

Cos, yeah, it goes my hero.

Produce a flak. You've got some months solicited.

Advice to put it in perspective.

I'm nowhere near as spelt as hazy, right.

But more intelligent because I don't know what spelt means skinny, like, you know, a little bit fatter.

Having a few beers with the boys not long ago, and one of them said, oh fla and he's on fitness is having a birthday.

Say it's like that's a it's a good deal. Yeah, great advice, Thank you, Thank you appreciate that. Why would I need to go to the gym. What do you say.

As flax smashes four more.

Beers that it would he get at one stage that flack with drinking two beers at once. Yeah, on the either side of the mouth. It was quite a visual.

Have you ever had any unsolicited advice from people?

Yeah?

That's probably also when I'm driving, people are like, oh, piece of advice, you shouldn't drive with the handbrake on. I'm like, just let me be myself. What are you even doing? Let me live my life? Like, oh, you know you're well and your phone's on the roof of your car. Mate, like, so, who cares being me? Look out of my local coffee house. I'm like, oh, maybe you should be Andy's on the outside of your pants. Why can't I be superman?

Oh my god, your poor things?

Have you advised yourself?

These people just laying and it's not fair they're In twenty fourteen, we've got a call from a woman who got.

Some unsolicited advice as a first time parents.

Oh my gosh, I imagine as a first time mothering some unsolicited advice. Thanks would really almost tip you open. Yeah, let's get to her. Name's Natalie.

Nextel for it what the fork? What did the fork?

Indeed, unsolicited advice when people tell you things and you're.

Like, man, that's not your place, like zip it.

So I had a courier coming around to my house and the dog got a little bit excited, as they do when people come to the gate, and the courier is like, think your dog needs a walk?

All right, mate, appreciate that.

Yeah, why didn't I come to your house and tell you how to run your life?

I told you the example. Four people are like, hey, your phone and your while it's on the roof. I'm like, why did you piss alarmingly? That's happened to me about four or five times.

Yeah, yeah, you're not very good in that space.

A mobile phone is like, it's happening again.

Thirteen twenty four to ten. Get involved in the conversation this morning. Let's go to Natalie from Green with good morning.

Good morning guys.

How are you?

We're great? You got some months solicited advice?

Oh I did, Yeah, I did. I got home with my first baby, all excited booth grandchild as well. So I had visitors wanting to come and see her. Yes, and my grandma came over. Old Italian nonna, and I was breastfeeding my little boy, and she proceeded to tell

I'm just thankful, Natalie that she didn't also try and teach the baby how to do it all.

It's like this baby, yeah, oh god, I mean, is there anything more awkward than your grandma grabbing your boob?

Oh? I don't think so.

I think that's why it's stuck in my brain.

Is it culture? What I've noticed as well that when nanas give you advice, you do not clap back though, Am I right, Natalie?

Or you just nod and say thank you.

And not trying to grab your boob. They're trying to feed you, aren't they.

That's exactly right, and you just still say nod and thank you.

Oh, Natalie, thank you so much.

He's one of Australia's funniest people, all right, even.

Meant to be here, ladies and gentlemen. I said, hey, do you want to do a gig, looked at my wife and children and went.

And do I.

He's a TV presenter.

This is to boob a show about laughing with people you shouldn't be laughing at.

And he's here in Adelaide during Mental health bugs. The laughter is the bes Mes live at the Arkabar.

I think the messaging that we've had around mental health of a long time is that we need to talk about it. If there's something we're thirking about, then there's something we're joking about.

Did I say he's pretty funny?

Do you know that.

Chili is the only thing that your mouth and your butthole can taste, because when you eat chili, the next day, your butt goes Do you.

At chy Holley brain? Good morning?

Gooday legends, Yeah we're good.

Laughter really is the best medicine, isn't it?

Well, no it's not. Sometimes medicine is the best medicine. Look, I think laughter can be really good artic I think laughter can help a whole lot of stuff. I'm more importantly, I think community and being together is really great. But I just want to say that sometimes you need medicine. So go see a doctor if you need the medicine.

Yeah. See funny we used to say that, Harley Broin, because we've been trying to make Jody laugh as much as she can because she's recovering from a case of shingles. Yeah, shingles are still there.

Shingles.

I mean, I'm not seventy six, Just so you know, Yeah, shingles is a thing.

Harley, how was your trip on the tool ship out here?

Shingles and scurvy at the same time, some.

Sort of the old illness you've got there, I know, and we take the peace. Have you put the leeches on you to knuck it out?

Don't think cure, not now, not ever.

Hey, Harlee, we're very much looking forward to our saying it. Can you just I just I don't want to put you in a category, but someone from the east. Can we get your immediate thoughts on Adelaide because we know that you get here quite regularly.

Adelade is the greatest. I think it's a great city. Although I've always described Adelaide as there's two modes of Adelaide. You know, there's fringe.

Festival Adelaide, yes, and then there's not fringe festival Adelaide and not Fringe Festival Adelaide, Like Fringe Adelaide is kind of like Christmas dinner, yep, and then and then not Fringe Adelaide is kind of like just after Christmas dinner, and now Adelaide is Dad sitting on the couch with just short shorts on one nut out going.

No one's coming, bit too relaxed, incredibly unattractive.

Oh yeah, and tied.

You get tired after Fringe, You're like, yeah.

Well, you guys really jammed in. You're like, should we do every festival in one month? Yeah, let's let's put it all on at the same time.

I do feel like Harlee under Premier Pedter Melon ourcaus who we like to refer as to as hot Malley. We've spaced things out a little more so we've got the Adelaide five hundred coming up very shortly. We also have gather.

Rounds, we have football games, so.

We're getting better.

We've realized not to cram everything into Mad March, so it's not too bad.

I didn't know you'd spread it out. I didn't know the five hundred of being moved. I just thought you were in car racing around the city. Doesn't make much sense.

Let's not do that.

I tell you what. The residents around the city, they love it.

They love having all their streets cut off so they can't get to their own houses.

They never complained about things that do you know what I loved in the yards where it was during Fringe, it was the noise. God, it's coming, It's really lovely. I remember one years during Fringe, I was doing a kids show in a tent in forty degrees with just children ages four to eight, And what really helped that incredibly dangerous environment was the sounds of the age. There's no issues with the children have three issues.

It was great.

Hey, Harley, before we let you go, before it lets you go, just just a word on mental mental health months and what it means to you.

Look, it means a bit. I mean I'm obviously mental because I'm a comedian. I mean, no one looks at a microphone on the stage and go yeah, I could probably speed my children with that job. So it takes

Yeah, Harley, I love that you're doing this because the rates around male suicide are just unacceptable and out of control. So the more you guys learned to talk about how you feeling, the better off everyone will be.

So well done.

Totally agree.

Well, Harley, welcome back to Adelaide. We love having you.

It is laughter is the best of meds and unforgettable night of stand up comedy with you.

It is tomorrow night, seven point thirty at the Acabal. Let's do it.

Thanks for having me on.

Good