Really it is so time for it.
Let's go girl. Okay, chickam.
Do like a little page. All the ladies to Studio one, please, all the ladies. Okay, this is how this works. We have all the girls assembled here and we're going to talk about stuff that we've maybe spoken about off air that probably deserves an on air conversation.
So we've got.
Producer Zoe here, good morning. Zoe's in her twenties in a new relationship, relatively happy, but always a bit of a career girl as well, absolutely smashing goals at work. And we've got news reader Abby RBF face in your thirties, happily single. However, something has happened to you this week that probably needs to hit the air waves.
I reckon.
This has been happening to me since twenty twenty. A guy over in I think he lives it. Well, I've done some digging. I'm going to be transparent. I did a bit of digging and he lives in Melbourne. He has been messaging me on Facebook Messenger since twenty twenty, random messages every three six eight months. One time it went a year until I had heard from him. And it's just like hey, hey, Hey, you going hey, how
are you? Hey, how are you? And it got to the point where I eventually just went, oh, hi, sorry, do I know you? And he goes, oh, your dog's really cute, and I didn't reply, and then it just continuously kept going, and it got to them the point that he said, you can reply, I'm not weird or anything.
Oh no, now you're sounding weird.
He definitely weird.
But in this time as well, I did a bit of digging.
As I said, he met a woman, he got engaged, he's married. This guy's married, right, and I've spoken to other people. Just before I walked in here, Maddie Roe stopped me and said, I've been getting messages on Instagram from a guy since twenty eighteen, just like random videos that he sends me. Number One, it makes me feel I'm like, it really pisss me off because as a woman, we feel not safe a lot of the time, so when you're walking out in the street, you get your
keys out, all that sort of stuff. And I've got a social media account and I understand that. Yes, I'm on socials.
I get that.
And I'm also in a position where I am have a bit of a public profile.
But the fact that.
People just continuously think it's okay after not getting a reply to message you is just wrong.
So number one actually gets me, Like I get a.
Bit teary over this because I just feel like it's just not okay.
Not Also, do you know what people can say just blocking?
Oh?
Well that's it.
And so that's my thing is I've turned notifications off on my phone so randomly, all of a sudden, I've got six messages and I'm like, oh my god, and I'm so I don't know this is an excuse, but I'm so busy and I forget to do it. So, yes, number one, I should just block in, but I guess I want to know I'm wanted attention and how to deal with it? Has anyone out there had the same thing? How does it make you feel? And also who who's behind it? Like have you had a friend's boyfriend messaging you?
Or have you had your boss messaging you stuff? And and what have you done about it?
Yeah?
Okay, produce as you ever had it?
Oh yeah, I'm lucky. Not not so much when I was a bit younger, maybe like in high school and things like that. Boys just not getting the message. I did see someone for a bit, and after telling them I wasn't interested, would still rock up to my house with coffees and stuff trying to win me over them. Yeah, but you know, like different he was. He was just really trying, like he wasn't giving off creep even still.
He needs to have brown Yeah, yeah.
Just rock up to someone's house.
Something.
You're like, I told you enough.
Give me?
Did you deal with this much jokes? Yeah, I've had it well, even since being married.
Yeah, yeah, I've had it a bit. And I think I think it comes with the territory, do you. I shouldn't say that it shouldn't come with the territory, but I guess doing this job, Oh yeah, I have messages from the same men constantly that I never reply to the same thing. I've never felt threatened enough to block them, you know what? And also I think is why do we feel bad for blocking someone even when it's not our fault. Why do you feel like you're in the wrong because you go, that's enough.
It's the same premise of I'll give us a smile that we're supposed to be yeah smiling.
Yeah, I had, I had. I went through a stage there where someone had my phone number, and every time they would call, it would be a FaceTime of a certain part of their genitalia, to the point where I went to the police and said, what's going on here? Well that was extreme and they were like, oh, there's nothing we can do. I'm like, you can't track this the guy down and say, stop stop doing calling with you? Where's that whistle sound? You always going with the whistle sound?
I needed it for the first time. It's locked away.
Can ask a quick question as well, and I'm assuming and I'm hoping this is a small population of the male species, and I speak on behalf of the male species.
You expose him? Why can you take a screenshot? Expose it? And then if he's engaged, can you get in contact.
With his is This is a huge thing and a lot of people have said why don't you try, like you know who she is, although in saying that he recently locked his profile, so I used to be able to see his profile and now I can't, But it wouldn't be hard to find out who she is.
But that's it.
When you do get this unwanted attention, do you go to the point of I'm going to go and speak to the fiance or I'm going to message her, because if he's doing it to me, is he doing it tote women?
Yeah, you would assume, so go.
To his fiance if he's not going to listen.
Yeah.
But then on the other side of that, I've seen people who do out people on social media and say oh look, and then they get hate for it.
Well, there was a case at Elizabeth not so long ago, and there was a guy who that guy chase through the Elizabeth shopping center and my heels remember that bolted outside of court. So he there was a woman that said I was getting all this unwanted attention from him, and then there was a massive pylon, so she came out, there was a news story on him, and then there were literally fifty other women that came out and said he's Oh my god, I know him. He's been doing that to me as well.
Thirteen twenty four ten. Yeah, situations like this. Have you been in there and how do you deal with this unwonted attention? When I suppose there's different elements that you're thinking from a female perspective.
Have you received it online? Who was it, why did it make you feel uncomfortable? How did you deal with that? Thirteen twenty four ten, Let's go to Leah. Good morning, Leah, good morning.
How are you good?
Good?
I'm so sorry if this has happened to you.
Yes, So, about five years ago, there was a guy who was messaging me. I was only about seventeen, so at the time I thought he was being nice, so I gave him my address. He came over one time. He was really, really creepy, and then I told him I didn't want to see him again. And he would always message me. I wouldn't reply, and then he would just drop off like food stopping at my door because he told me that I didn't eat well, so he would just drop food at my door even though I
hadn't replied. I hadn't replied four weeks and he would always dropped food to my door. Also my side. My bedroom window didn't lock, but he would put flowers and things. He opened my window and just like to throw them in. Oh my god. And I had not responded to him. And then I found out that he had a wife and a son for context as well, where he was about thirty seven and I was seventeen.
Did you know he was thirty seven? Sorry? When he was messaging you at the.
Start, No no, no.
And so how did you how did it all end up?
Leah.
So I told his wife, his wife left him and divorced him, and then the weird so I was getting really creepy messages from him, like he would write poems about me, he would make memes about me, like lovely things. It was really really strange. And then when I told his wife, he turned into just straight abuse. He said it was my fault that they divorced, it was my fault that he'd left it that she left him. And that went on for a couple of months as well.
I blocked him. He would still make little accounts just to message me.
Oh my god. That's I was about five.
Years ago now, and I think he's probably a lonely man now.
Yeah, and it's definitely not your fault. It's his fault for doing the wrong thing and chasing someone twenty years younger than him, a teenager.
Yeah, I was, actually I was still a minor at that point.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Bor rout Ley, thank you so much for your call this morning. Let's go to Ali. Ali. I'll jump in here and say you were one of the victims of this guy out of Elizabeth. Let's not mention his names because I'm not sure if it's still before the court. But this happened to you with him?
Yeah, actually I was. He messaged me over the past or five years. I never responded to any of them, but yeah, he just kept going. He found there a dating side about five or six years ago and then searched my Facebook for me and just kept mexaging me constantly.
I had a guy recently who I matched with him, and then I sort of looked at his profile went oh, probably not for me. I unmatched him, and he found me on Facebook and said why do you want to match me?
Four?
Like, I wanted to talk to.
You, so Ali, have you heard from him recently or has it all stopped?
No?
Not since the whole court case thing, thankfully.
And was it a case where you saw him on the news and went, oh my god.
Yeah.
My sister in law actually tagged me and she's like, oh my god, is this the guy that has been messaging you? And I was like, yes, that's hum.
Yeah, well we well, thank you so much for your call. To Neil. Oh gosh, these calls never end. They to Neil what happened.
So I used to work in a store as a cashier and I had a customer comes through and I made small talk, was really friendly, as you are with customers. And then he started coming back frequently and never purchasing things. And on Valentine's Day he brought me flowers and he'd bring me cups of coffee and stuff like that, always just sort of checking in on me. It was. It
was really weird. And then one day I went to work, had lunch break, came back and I was like he was there, and he said, oh, you've just been at home having some lunch, sitting out in the sun.
Basically, yeah, it was very very storckery.
Yeah it was well, and how's how's it all ended up?
Neil?
So he kind of would just keep coming in, and you know, me being it was a big power dynamic. I guess he's the custom to me having to be kind to him. So I basically just said, look, I've got a partner, and I did. My partner worked in the store as well, and I said, my boyfriend's just over there, like, yeah, you know, we probably don't appreciate you coming in anymore. And I just woort of had to leave it at that without offending him too much.
And that's the thing we women do. We don't want to offend me.
I know, even though you've been mortified and offended to Neil, you did absolutely the right thing and you didn't do anything wrong. And I would say that to all the women out there who were feeling that way. Thank you for sharing your stories this morning. I think we should give everyone an Earth Clay voucher. Yeah that we've spoken to You're welcome. Oh my god.
I think the last thing I want to say is that if you're and look, I get that it happens. It's men and women, but especially men. If you're out there and you're messaging someone repeatedly on social media, or they've told you that they're not interested, please stop because you don't understand how it makes us feel. It's unsafe and they're obviously not interested. To just move on.
It's really Ali's well, thank you so much getting involved be session. It's very very bride story.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely