👄 CHICK CHAT | A Married Man Keeps Sliding Into Abbey's DMs

Go get morning every Dayay, every lady, gentlemen, Adelaides, goody friends, Welcome to some of the best bits of Jodey and Hazy from across And I'll tell you this much for free.

We've all aged terribly. Yeah the last ten months.

Yeah, that's what happens when you get up for a year at four am. You look seventy Oh my gosh. Yeah, those crows feet.

A few more grays coming through.

Gross feet.

What do you ma forgot? Grows feet's around your eyes? Smile line ses. It means you've smiled in your life.

Okay, I just like that. You'll just go on, you know, bugger it. I'm just gonna let myself go.

My really shot. It is so time for it. Let's go, girl.

Symbol do like.

A little page. All the ladies to Studio one please or ladies. Okay, this is how this works. We have all the girls assembled here and we're going to talk about stuff that we've maybe spoken about off air that probably deserves an on air conversation. So we've got.

Producer Zoe here. Good morning.

Zoey's in her twenties, in a new relationship, relatively happy but ALWAYO a bit of a career girl as well, absolutely smashing goals at work. And we've got newsreader Abby RBF face.

In the thirties, happily single.

However, something has happened to you this week that probably needs to hit the air.

Waves, I reckon.

So this has been happening to me since twenty twenty. A guy over in I think he lives it. Well, I've done some digging. I'm going to be transparent. I did a bit of digging and he lives in Melbourne. He has been messaging me on Facebook Messenger since twenty twenty, random messages every three, six eight months. One time it went a year until I I'd heard from him, and it's just like, hey, hey, hey, you going, Hey, how are you?

Hey? How are you?

And it got to the point where I eventually just went, oh, hi, sorry, do I know you? And he goes, oh, your dog's really cute, and I didn't reply, and then it just continuously kept going and it got to them the point that he said, you can reply, I'm not weird or anything.

Oh no, now you're sounding weirdd He definitely weird. But in this time as well, I did a bit of digging.

As I said, he met a woman, he got engaged, he's married. This guy's married, right, and I've spoken.

To other people.

Just before I walked in here, Maddie Rowe stopped me and said, I've been getting messages on Instagram from a guy since twenty eighteen, just like random videos that he sends me. Number one, it makes me feel I'm like, it really pisses me off because as a woman, we feel not safe a lot of the time. So when you're walking out in the street, you get your keys out,

But the fact that.

People just continuously think it's okay after not getting a reply to message you is just wrong. So number one actually gets me, like, I get a bit teary over this because I just feel like it's just not okay.

Not Also, do you know what people are going to say? Just block it? Oh, well, that's it.

And so that's my thing is I've turned notifications off on my phone, so all randomly, all of a sudden, I've got six messages and I'm like, oh my god, and I'm so I don't know this is an excuse, but I'm so busy and I forget to do it. So yes, number one, I should just block in, but I guess I want to know un wanted attention and how to deal with it. Has anyone out there had the same thing? How does it make you feel? And also who's behind it? Like have you had a friend's

Yeah?

Okay, but's azoi we ever had it?

Oh?

Yeah, I'm lucky. Not so much when I was a bit younger, maybe like in high school and things like that. Boys just not getting the message. I did see someone for a bit and after telling them I wasn't interested, would still rock up to my house with coffees and stuff trying to win me over them. Yeah, but you know, like different he was. He was just really trying, like he wasn't giving off creep.

Even still he still needs to have brown Yeah, yeah, just rock up to someone's house.

Something I told you enough?

Give me?

Did you deal with this much?

Jokes?

Yeah?

I've had it well, even since being married.

Yeah, yeah, I've had it a bit, and I think I think it comes with the territory. Do I shouldn't say that it shouldn't come with the territory, but I guess doing this job, Oh, I have messages from the same men constantly that I never reply to, and the same thing.

I've never felt.

Threatened enough to block them, you know it. And also I think is why do we feel bad for blocking someone even when it's not our fault. Why do you feel like you're in the wrong because you got that's enough.

Yeah, it's the same premise of I'll give us a smile, was like we're supposed to be yeah, big smiling.

Yeah, I had. I had.

I went through a stage there where someone had my phone number and every time they would call, it would be a FaceTime as a certain part of their genitally to the point where I went to the police and said, what's going on here? That was extreme and they were like, oh, there's nothing we can do. I'm like, you can't track this the guy down and say stop stop doing calling with you.

Let's go to Leah. Good morning, Leah, good morning, how are you good? Good? I'm so sorry if this has happened to you.

Yes, So about five years ago, there was a guy who was messaging me. I was only about seventeen, so at the time I thought he was being nice, so I gave him my address. He came over one time. He was really really creepy, and then I told him I didn't want to see him again. And he would always message me. I wouldn't reply, and then he would just drop off, like food stopping at my door because he told me that I didn't eat well, so he would just drop food at my door even though I

Oh my god.

And I had not responded to him. And then I found out that he had a wife and a son for context as well, where he was about thirty seven and I was seventeen.

Did you know he was thirty seven? Sorry when he was messaging you at the start?

No, no, no, And so how.

Did you How did it all end up? Leah?

So I told his wife. His wife left him and divorced him. And then the weird so I was getting really creepy messages from him, like he would write poems about me, he would make memes about me, like lovely things. It was really really strange. And then when I told his wife, he turned into just straight abuse. He said it was my fault that they divorced, it was my fault that he'd left it that she left him. And that went on for a couple of months as well.

Oh my god, what I was about five.

Years ago now, and I think he's probably a lonely man now.

Yeah, And it's definitely not your fault.

It's his fault for doing the wrong thing and chasing someone twenty years younger than him, a teenager.

Yeah, I was, Actually I was still a minor at that point.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, bar rout Ley, thank you so much for your call this morning. Let's go to Ali.

Ali.

I'll jump in here and say you were one of the victims of this guy out of Elizabeth. Let's not mention his names because I'm not sure if it's still before the court, but this happened to you with him.

Yeah, actually I was he mentioned me over the past or five years. I never responded to any of them, but yeah, he just kept going. He found there a dating side about five or six years ago and then searched my Facebook for me and just kept nextaging me constantly.

I had a guy recently who I matched with him and then I sort of looked his profile went oh, probably not for me. I unmatched him, and he found me on Facebook and said why do you want to match me?

Four?

Like I wanted to talk to you. So, Ali, have you heard from him recently? Has it all stopped?

No?

Not since the whole court case thing, thankfully.

And was it a case where you saw him on the news and went, oh my god.

Yeah.

My sister in law actually tagged me and she was like, oh my god, is this the guy that has been messaging you? And I was like, yes, that's hum.

Yeah.

Well we well, thank you so much for your call. To Neil. Oh gosh, these calls never end. They to Neil. What happened?

So?

I used to work in a store as a cashier and I had a customer come through and I made small talk, was really friendly as you are with customers, and then he started coming back frequently and never purchasing things. And on Valentine's Day he brought me flowers and he'd bring me cups of coffee and stuff like that, always just sort of checking in on me.

It was.

It was really weird.

And then one day I went to work, had lunch break, came back and he was like he was there and he said, oh, you've just been at home having some lunch, sitting out in the suns. Basically, yeah, it was very very storckery.

Yeah it was well, and how's how's it all ended up?

Neil?

So he kind of we'll just keep coming in, and you know, me being it was a big power dynamic. I guess he's the custom to me having to be kind to him. So I basically just said, look, I've got a partner, and I did. My partner worked in the store as well, and I said, my boyfriend's just over there like, yeah, you know, we probably don't appreciate you coming in anymore. And I just thought I had to leave it at that without offending him too much. And that's the thing we women do.

We don't want to offend me, I know, even though you've been mortified and offended to Neil, you did absolutely the right thing and you didn't do anything wrong, and I would say that to all the women out there who were feeling that way. Thank you for sharing your stories this morning. I think we should give everyone an Earth Clay voucher. Yeah, that we've spoken to You're welcome.

Oh my god.

I think the last thing I want to say is that if you're and look, I get that it happens.

It's men and women, but especially men.

If you're out there and you're messaging someone repeatedly on social media, or they've told you that they're not interested, please stop because you don't understand how it makes us feel. It's unsafe and they're obviously not interested. To just move on.

That's really now is so much gain involved conversation. It's very very brave story.

Yeah yeah, absolutely, my really picture it is so time for it.

Let's go girl, Okay, let's do this.

So we have producer Zoe in your twenties in a lovely relationship with Hazy's boyfriend. That's right. Yeah, We've got a newsreader Abby who is in her.

Thirties, happily single, aggressively single, aggressively single and loving it.

After my dating disaster this week. Yes, we might talk about that at some point. We probably have to.

Talk about that, because that is definitely noteworthy what you've been through in the last week. However, today we're talking about friendships. Female friendships. They're interesting, aren't they? And I would very much argue that female friendships can be more intense and more complicated than actual relationships in your life sometimes.

But we're talking deal this morning.

What is it about a female friend in particular that would make you go, that's enough, I'm done here, I no longer want to be friends with you?

Wait?

A deal breaker, though.

Sometimes you still go back for a second day.

Am I right?

For me?

A friendship deal breaker is when you and I felt this, when you walk out of a room and you're not quite sure what that person's going to say about you behind your back. If that, like, I'm right or die? I am an aggressively loyal person. If I've got you back, I've got it hard for life. But if I get the feeling with a female friend that I don't quite know what they're going to talk about when I'm not there.

Out, do you wait? That is it? Straight up?

As soon as you've got the feeling that's it done? Or do you wait to confirm this said?

Not too much the feeling. I think it's more when it actually happens. The confor what about for you?

I've had this conversation with my girlfriends a lot. Actually I've got there's three of us. We're best friends, Tallulacation and I and.

We that's not what tullus.

We should hear the conversations I've had.

And we've talked about it because we've been so close to so long. What is the only thing that could get in the way of our friendship? We've decided is looking up with audating one of each other's exes.

Yeah.

I think that's the only thing, because it just feels like the ultimate betrayal, right right, when your feelings are that involved?

Can I play Devil's advocate here an extra reason?

Yeah?

Can I say, like, just a little bit down the track, there are some things that arise arise in friendships that you don't foresee and can also be deal breakers. So you might think, I think, at your age, in your twenty seo, oh my god, we're going to be friends for long y.

No, I'm not ignorant to the fact that things will change. But right now, like we've arguments whatever, the only thing right now that could tear us apart is if one of the girls dated my ex or vice versa.

Yeah right, there's a few things to that.

I could play double other kids there too, anyway for me, lying and big lies. I cannot stand people who are feeding you one story but not taking you know, in any situation. And I talk about this a lot, like with ex boyfriends and stuff. Now as I get older, I'm I take four responsibility for my part in that story. But for people who lie and constantly lie and then you find out that what they're telling you is.

Not actually actually the truth, I can't stand that there.

Is something like that, someone who can't put their hand up and go, oh you know, I messed up?

Yeah yeah, wow, Okay, so much different for bikes, What do you mean, well, in terms of just how complicated female relationships and friendships can be, like for blokes.

For example, a couple of days ago, I've got a text from one bloke in particular, I haven't spoken to I Reckon for about five or six years. Three way text, and he said, boys, I hope this is the right numbers, but should we catch up for a beer and we're like, absolutely, let's lock.

Up a time.

So you were actually just not for five or six years and then go bang and pick it up.

You weren't annoyed that you hadn't heard from him in all that time, not to say congratulations, hazy.

You've had seventeen kids like.

He had kids as well.

Yeah.

Right, so just slave going in different directions, but we'll be able to immediately pick it up.

I've got friends like that though, that you don't speak for a few months or whatever, and then there's a text or whatever.

I think that's okay.

Absolutely, They're the best sort of friendships, the ones that are unconditional. It's like, okay, I get life scotten in the way I haven't heard from you, but that's okay.

It's fine. When I see you, I'm going to pick up where I left off.

Yeah, Chelsey, good morning. What's the friendship deal breaker? Hi?

So I had this friend and when we were younger, we used to meet up in the most honest places. And so the one place that she's organized to meet up was the top of like a five story krper and a few nights before she'd asked me whether we could meet up there at like the middle of night. It was by eight o'clock, and I said, sure that I was on the way home from work, and when I left, I rang her if she was on her way, because I wasn't not far away. She said, I'm five

Was later that night.

I was obviously asleep because she messaged me at four am in the morning. She'd had a bit of an accident with her boyfriend and she went on about me going out to get her planned bah and I said, no way, yeah.

Okay, okay, So first red Flag was meeting in top car push.

Last story was.

Your friend Drake?

We shared video right.

Anyway, was there a helipad? Good morning, Luke?

Are you going?

What's the friendship deal breaker?

So me and the partner were having a bit of a tough time, so I reached out to a childhood friend who's been there for many years. Yes, he then decided to say, oh, you have no problems. We've got I've got no plans this week and I'm just going to be at home if you need anything. I went, yeah, no problems literally, you know. I was still talking to my partner at that time and found out he invited her around here for a bit of a get together,

What a sleazy, dirty bags, dirty birds deservation.

Yeah right, See that's kind of the same vibes as hooking up with the.

Next Yeah, eggs, they were just going through a rough pat that's horrible.

And that's there's a lesson in that too, to never bag someone who's going through a breakup. Never bag the partner because if they do get yeah yeah, awkward, Shannon friendship deal breaker for you.

Hey, So I had a birthday drinks and celebration and it was like an engagement celebration as well, because I'd recently got engaged, and it was so like my fiancee to me, all all of my friends and family in like a group's.

Social setting yep.

And one of my really good friends was like, oh, I'm really sorry, I can't come. I can't get a babysitter. And I was like, oh, that's okay, like totally understand, you know, but we'll organize something else, which was like, I'm really sorry, but yep. Anyways, later in the night, I go on Snap and she is at the showdown with her.

Sorry to laugh, we get it.

To your friends, I'm so sorry I can't come to your engagement party. Go how.

Should we take abby? Good morning?

Hello?

Mine? Is that my best friend told me to essentially break up with my partner?

Oh yeah, okay, and what was your.

Well, I'm all for like being there for your friend and you know, talking them through the option. You can not. You do not have the ride to say your partners's good enough for you break up, and ever since then they've just never been the same friends.

Yeah, yeah, what's so tough about that? I would really hope that if my girlfriends didn't like Alex, then tell me. But then if it actually happened, how do you deal with?

What about if one of your friends likes Alex too much?

What about if I told you to break up with.

That's a tough one old friend boyfriend thing. And I think the key takeaway in all of this is we all love Alex. My really chat chat. It is so time for it.

Let's go girl, yeah the girls, Yeah, excuse me, I'm just going to kick a door down.

It's so time for a chick chat and this is where us girls get together.

Hazy, you can vaguely be involved.

Zoe, you're in your twenties in a newish relationship with a much younger man. Abby you're in your thirties, very much single, but slaying life. I'd have to say, laughing, yeah you are. I think there was a pringle though, you slay girl. So this week's chick chat will revolve around age gaps.

And then we were just saying I cop a lot of flak from all of you for dating it much younger man.

He's two years.

Younger than mentally.

Actually it's criminal.

I know that it's pretty jarring when I say out loud that he's born in the year two thousand.

Do you know what's outrageous?

Is it?

I spent a long time with Alex on the weekend and I was born in nineteen eighty five, But somehow it feels like we're almost the same.

Ah, it was outrageous.

You really goes sort of scary connection.

But despite how much fun you'll make of me, it got us talking of about real age gap relationships and if we've ever been in them, what we think of them, and abs that came up that you have been in quite a big age gap relationship.

Yeah, it was pretty big.

So there was eighteen years between myself and this gentleman, my boss's best friend at one point.

Yeah, I was twenty two, he was forty. So I look back.

Now and just, yeah, way too big. I was way too young. Maybe now it might be different, but yeah, I was way too young to be with someone.

Hitty treat you well.

No, no, I put my hand up though, as I get older and go, I caused a lot of dramas. But also, you know, him being older, you would have thought that he would have, you know, taught me how to be in an adult relationship, and that wasn't the case.

Also, what you do abbe and that he is for some reason, probably blame yourself when you're eighteen, and of course there's a lot going on for anyone who's eighteen.

Yeah, but I just look at twenty two, you're just such a baby. I was working in hospitality. I was a terror of a person living my best life and he copped a lot of it. But also he did some pretty shady things as well.

Can I ask you this, having lived through that experience, do you think that an age gap, nearly twenty year age gap can work.

I've actually got friends who there's twenty years between them and they're now together. They've got twins living their best life up on the Gold Coast. So I do believe that it can work. But interestingly, we went I did some volunteering last week and I met a lovely lady. She's eighty three, her husband's ninety four. And I made

So it's funny, isn't it, Because you think you think the age gap becomes less and less relevant the older you get. But I have never thought about that that when you get to that age. Yeah, one's mobile, the other one isn't.

That yet because physically she was at a harvest rock on the weekend on his shoulders, but he's got some issues.

I heard that she was on your shoulders at one point.

It wouldn't surprise, but yeah, I'm looking back now not okay.

But also, you know, you go through what you go through for a reason, So.

Yeah, I will say I think I feel like there's a little bit of a double standard with this, Like so if an older bloke gets with a younger woman, then it's like all the mates, like, whereas if an older, say, cougar gets together with a younger man and it's kind of a little bit frowned upon it.

Yeah, I'm not sure how well representing the male species. I'm not sure how well supported is if you're going out with someone who's vastly younger. For I don't think we're all sent around.

Going yeah, okay, don't even make that noise.

Again, made to forty and they're going out with twenty two year olds. Don't think we're all getting together.

My head is that Yeah.

Yeah, my boss said to him, you leave her alone and do not go near her, and he obviously didn't listen.

I just couldn't resist, you, abs.

It can work, these relationships, So yeah, I mean dependent. I think every situation is different, but it'd be nice to hear yes it would.

Let's go to Lisa, good morning, Good morning. What's the gap, Lise?

So we're eleven years apart. So I'm forty and he's fifty.

One, right, okay, and does it work?

It does?

We've been together. I first met him when I was twenty nine, so yeah, we've both been married before, had children with other partners, and now we've got a beautiful little two year old daughter of our own.

Wow.

So it is a blended family, now, is it.

It's a blended family. So his son lives with us, my daughter.

Lives with us.

They're both fifteen. Yeah, and then our little two year old Daisy.

Okay, Lisa, you happy?

Yeah, so so happy. So like I'm a vet nurse now, I feel like my career is he supported me in doing everything that I've wanted to do. I haven't found the age gap a problem at all because in fact, his maturity, it probably yeah, has helped me along the way.

Yeah. I guess there is a bit to be said by the fact that they do say that men mature a little slower than women.

So I think we're definitely have met in the middle there because I feel like I'm obviously very mature and he's quite immature.

Right. Isn't that incredible? Lisa? My wife is younger than me, but I mean mentally, she's so much older. She is so much older.

Indeed, thanks so much, Lisa, thanks for you called