Ep 134: Bobble Body

Lock you down. I am Christina Wagachaw, one of your Jillers. With me as always, Jillian. Jen Murphy. We're Jillian in the morning. Well, it's the morning for me. It's... Early afternoon for you. Early afternoon. I just went pee and I also just ran. And then... when i went to sit down on the toilet because i never stretch like i made a oof like i kind of fell on the toilet my legs are like toast i've been running too much

And then I was like, could you hear me? Like land on my toilet. Don't you hate it when you sit on a toilet and it makes like that loud noise that like, it sounds like a, like a ship just docked. Like do I weigh three tons? My body caused that noise on a toilet. That happened last weekend.

when i or no it was a few weeks ago when i first started going back to the core power yoga like my legs were so sore that i couldn't get up off the toilet you know when you have to like hold onto the wall and pull because your thighs are too like i'm like i can't get up yes that's been me all week too because i i'm an idiot and i barely stretch and i just ran i did six kilometers today just over 6k and it's funny because johnny beaner just wrote me too and he's like fuck

He's like running's hard because he's training for that marathon now. So I think he has to do like 20 miles today or something or he's doing, I don't know. He's doing a button. Maybe he's doing like a half marathon today. A lot of marathons this year. 20 maybe it was 20k no he speaks miles though anyways But I was like, I just finished running and I, yeah. I can't, I'm not bending at the knee anymore. I'm just like, I have to like, my body just goes timber and it falls onto chairs now.

I know it's a little scary sometimes when I get out of bed and I can't walk for a minute and I'm like, what's going to happen when I'm like 70? I know. It's gonna be like wheelchair bound getting to the bathroom. Me too. I'm gonna get a bedpan. It's what I've always dreamt of anyways. I hate it when you wake up in the middle of the night and you have to go pee.

but you're so fucking comfortable in your bed. You kind of don't want to go, but you're like, am I going to give myself a UTI from being lazy? Yeah. You try and like will it away. Like I don't really have to go. I don't have to go. I know, right? Maybe I could hold this pee until the morning. That's good. I found out some news yesterday that I have to tell you that I'm sorry.

Oh, don't tell me. Our numbers dropped in Saudi Arabia. No. No, it's not that. It's personal to you. I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but I found out yesterday that one sign of autism... is people who drink three or more beverages at the same time so i'm sorry to tell you you're autistic that's definitely me mad

I got my water. I got my tea. I always remember when we did a show at... uh dudes brewery in santa monica and you had a cup of tea and a beer and i was just like who the drinks tea and beer at the same time i do I love my tea time. I'm an old lady, man. I'm obsessed with tea now. No, tea is delicious. It's just weird that you drink at the same time as other like alcohol, like random beverages. Yesterday I had tea and wine, actually.

Because I was like, oh, I'm going to have a little charcuterie for a snack before I go up for beverages. So I was like, yeah, I'm going to have tea and wine and charcuterie. That sounds very fancy, actually.

You know, I'm telling you because I also do feel like there's something about tea or even like I know hot water with lemon has like a lot of health benefits. But yeah, putting that hot water in your body, like even if it's not caffeinated, for some reason, it gives me lots of energy. Like I feel really good. Hmm. When I stopped drinking for two weeks in January, I was drinking a lot of tea and then my face like totally broke out and fricking acne. Oh no. What kind of.

It might be because I add sugar to the tea. Maybe I was having too much sugar. I don't know. But I was like, I better go back to alcohol. Because there's no sugar in alcohol. I don't know. Maybe it's just that my hormones were confused. Probably. They thought I was 12 again. They're like, uh-oh, we better freak out some acne. Sugar? Oh my god. What is this virgin body doing?

i haven't had a good zit in a long time but uh i'm reading craig ferguson's uh memoir right now it's really good but yeah he has a whole chapter on like a zit that like literally like ruined his teenage like a week of his teenage life and it's funny because i forget what he called his big zit but he named it but i remember when i was a teenager

Yeah, I remember me and Leslie when we got big zits. Yeah, do you ever name your zits? No, I've never even heard of that. Oh, I remember I had one. It was called the Great Mamba Jamba. I think I had too many to give them names. I wasn't like a breakout in the whole face kind of gal. I was like a, I would get like one usually on like the side of my lips. Like I would be like a zit around here somewhere, but it would be, I would get like a big one.

I'm a picker. I would pick it. I would pop it. I'd make it worse. I'd make it worse. You never see. That's probably why you have a higher self-confidence than me. You never had like so bad. Like I would like wear my hair over my face. Oh, yeah, no. And then I went through a period where I got, like, on my chest. So I would always be, like, covered up, like, almost like a turtleneck. Yeah, that's scarring when you're, like... And I wasn't, like...

15 i was like older like 19 or 20. oh yeah i know we just have to get turtlenecks because we're in our 40s it's not fair one of the troll next You're not supposed to ever wear a turtleneck if you grow up in California. Yeah, no kidding. I'm so happy that the weather is changing here. Like I bought a cute new polo. uh hoodie while i was in puerto rico is when it's like 92 and humid out i'm like oh my god i love fall in new york like even right now i was like

It's like perfect running weather. Like, yes, I did sweat, obviously, because I ran hard. But when I get to bust out the hoodies and like just like cozy clothes, I love a long sleeve T-shirt, too. Yeah. I love a long sleeve t-shirt. I feel like we always have t-shirts and hoodies and sweatshirts and sweaters, but to actually get a long sleeve t-shirt, those are so comfortable too. I love those. I don't even own a long sleeve t-shirt.

I'm telling you, that's one of the, yeah, that's a piece of wardrobe that I think definitely slips through the cracks of the system where people forget long sleeve t-shirts. They go right for sweatshirts and sweaters and they forget the thin one. You are correct.

yeah oh my gosh at least for women i feel like men do the long sleeve t-shirt more often i do love hoodie weather though it's so exciting i love it and of course i'm just going right back to new orleans on monday so i'm Right back to the Bahamas. Although it's storm season down there, so it doesn't hurt to have some sleeves and an umbrella if you're going to get off in a port when it's raining. So I feel like Johnny Cardinelli was making fun of me for having...

for packing my umbrella on the cruise ship. And I was like, why? I was like, it definitely rains down there. Like, it's definitely storm season. And if I wanted to go to Starbucks, which I always, like, the second I get to NASA, it's the first place I go. Yeah, last couple of cruises I did, there was at least one day of rain on all of them. Don't make fun of me for bringing my umbrella. Also, I'm from Vancouver. It's kind of like a staple of my life.

I was telling Cardinale about how I had the bad luck on the ships and I was like, you know, they judge my theater. I think I do much better in the comedy club. And he's just like, who's judging you? I was like, we get judged. He goes, I bomb in the theater all the time. I never get judged. And I'm like, God damn you.

another perk of being a male comic you can bomb and they're like oh that's okay you'll get him next time champ you bomb as a female wow women are awful people we should kick them off the planet right I mean it like in a way it made me feel better to hear like when he was like oh yeah i bomb all the time because like okay it's not just me and then i'm like well it doesn't help anyway but

Oh, yeah. I had two chicks from Minnesota come up to me after the show. Actually, this is something I had in my notes from last week. Oh, good. But yeah, but they were so cool because I think they saw two, I met them at the brewery in Nassau at Pirate Republic.

and then they came to well they saw one of my shows the night before then they came to another show tonight or like that night they saw an adult show and they're like we just want to let you know that like you like they just gave me a compliment they're like we really realized like this week noticing like how much harder you have to work than the male comic and you really yeah what was that really like they said like people just laughed easier at his jokes

i think so like it was a compliment they were like oh my god they're like i don't think they watched a lot of stand-up maybe because they were just like we really noticed now like you have to work way harder for your laughs like you're bussy you know you're boom boom boom like jokes jokes jokes meanwhile i guess the other comic was just like i don't know taking deep breaths and doing nothing on stage and then says something like

And meanwhile, man, like, here's a joke. Here's a joke. Do you like this joke? Do you like this joke? How about this joke? You know, I'm busting my ass out there. Yeah. No, I think that's true. I feel like when I step out on stage, I'm getting judged a little bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally.

Yeah. Anyways. Anyways. Can we just talk about for a second how people are standing in line for 12 hours to see the dead queen? Oh my god, I know. Like there's not even any person that's alive that I would wait 12 hours to see. I'm not into lines at all. If there's a line at the fucking wine store, I leave. And I'm an alcoholic. I need that wine. And I'm like, oh, fuck that line up. That's all right. You're just going to glance at a dead bone.

I don't know. I don't understand how it works in the UK because obviously we don't have that. I know they're really into the royal family and it's a huge deal and we don't have that here. 12 hours like i wouldn't do it and i'm canadian we have a little more of a affiliation with the monarchy than you guys do but yeah again it's i'll just bust out a fucking 50 bill and be like

Here's your face. I saw it. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I was literally, I was thinking about it. I was like, is there any like celebrity or somebody I love that much that I would wait 12 hours if they were alive still? And there's not even anybody. No, I don't think so either. I don't have... I feel like a lot of people do. They have their starstruck kind of... I know Christine loves the Rolling Stones. She's seen them in concert like 16 times or something.

But yeah, if Mick Jagger, I don't even want to say it, but when Mick, she would probably go and see that bod. Well, Christina, if you died, I would wait 12 hours for you. Aw, that's so sweet. I don't think there's going to be a big lineup at my funeral. I would just wait that long. I think you're going to be able to walk right in. I would just wait that long to snag all your vibrators.

Can you bury me with mine? What if there's a line for your vibrators? It's so funny. Yeah, just bury me with them all. I think that, honestly, my vibrator that I use all the time, I think the transmission is slipping on it. i'm charging it i like i'm charging it a lot and it just seems to be like dying a little bit where it's like um yeah you may have it may just be unchargeable at this point

Yeah, I think it's lived a good life. It needs a new engine. It does. I don't think it can be salvaged for parts at this point. It's over for that thing. I'm going to turn all your vibrators on and put them all into the coffin with you and then they'll just be vibrating. The ground will be. Knowing me, I'll probably bring me back to life and be like, wow.

See, those things really were charging her the whole time. I sometimes do find that chilling off seriously is a bit of a cure for a hangover. Or at least it's like... It's proof that parts of your body still have feeling to them. Do you know what I mean? We're like, okay, I need to feel something. I just feel like shit right now. And then you chill off and you're like, all right, that works. So I'm all right. Yeah, I mean, it is.

you know kind of a jump start to your body like jump jumper cables it really is were you hung over this morning where'd you go last night all you told me was that

You were out with comics. I figured you must have been having a good time because you weren't texting. I did. I put my phone away and I was sitting at a table. Well, that was the funny thing is because like... uh yeah i did i actually went to a really cool spot where sally ann's husband works last night it was like a speakeasy in the lower east side

But you know what? This always happens whenever I go anywhere cool. It's like the one night where I'm just like tired and I'm not. Do you know what I mean? So I only had. Two drinks at that bar and I was just pooped I was like I even took the creepy J train home because I was like whatever the J's right here Getting a cab in that area can be tricky

So I, but I was too tired. Like some nights it's always when I go somewhere cool where I'm like, Oh, I'm also like tired now. And I don't feel like, I don't think I could drink my way back into.

a second wind, you know, I feel like I used to be able to do that. I'm like, I guess I'll just stay out and drink more and I'll be fine. I'll hit a second wind, but I don't think I have that skip that power as an older person. I'm like, no, now when I hit the wall, I hit the wall that I just have to go to bed. Well, the night before was Thursday night football, right? So where'd you go for that? I just went to Carmine's. Was that the night that I ate a pizza? Yeah.

Yeah, I went for pizza because there's like this Italian restaurant that does a sports bar on one side. It's really blue colliery. I really like it because it's not hipster. You know how hipster my neighborhood is. Yeah, no, it looked like a cool sports bar from the picture you sent me.

Yeah, no, you know what? And that, yeah, the food is like pretty good for, you know, especially because usually if you're in a sports bar, you're just having like pub grub or whatever. But this place actually makes like a nice, nice pasta, nice pizza. So it was good.

And then I chatted with the guy beside me and I gave him a slice of my pizza because I ordered a whole grandma pie, which is like a square thing. It's big. I gave him a slice of my pizza, but then he didn't eat it. He Karen Carpenter'd me. And I was like, I can't take... a corner slice of a grandma pie and then not eat it. And then he was like, I was tempted. I'll just like, let that sit on his plate. And he's like, Oh, sorry. I did a line of Coke before I got here.

And then I was like, I think he was just joking. I don't really think he did that. He was just like making a funny excuse as to why he wasn't eating the pizza. Yeah. And then I was like, and then I took two slices home still because it was still, I still have a lot of pizza. And then last night when I got home, oh, you better believe I.

I threw it on the foreman and I added extra soppressata and blue cheese and calabrine peppers. And before I went to sleep, I ate pizza. I feel like no matter how good pizza is, it's always, to me, like five times better.

leftover the next day I agree it was so good and again putting it on the form and I get it all crispy on the bottom and it was I think it was better last night also because I added blue cheese that I got off my favorite butcher emily's pork store on graham is just so good i get the best charcuterie stuff there and it's so again it's like the blue collar place it's not the hipster place like the meat hook's really good too and that's all like hipsters and like bros running the place

But I like, you know, the two old Italian men working at the butcher shop that's kind of crammed when you walk inside. You know, you have to like squish down these tiny like two aisles that they have. You know what I mean? Where like everything is like really close together.

you know like during the pandemic uh comedian joe de rosa opened up a sandwich shop in new york oh yeah i should go there we should open up a day-old pizza shop where all the pizzas from the day before Oh, yeah. I like that idea. Day-old pizza. And also day-old croissants. I love a crusty croissant. I don't know that I've had that, but I will look for one.

when it's like really crunchy and flaky on the outside and then the inside obviously is beautiful and just that texture that's oh i love a plain croissant i was so mad i went to the coffee shop so yesterday morning and i was like i'm gonna do some writing and have a croissant

And then they were out of croissants. And then I was like, I'm going crazy. I feel like whenever I see croissants, like they had them on the ship. I never ate one in the morning, but I feel like when I look at it, all I think of is that when you take a bite, it like flakes all over you. That's what I like. I like that. Yeah. When it, you just like your crotch is full of crumbs and like, whoa, that girl's hot. Look at all the crumbs in her crotch. It's just come for you.

I don't like those soft croissants on the cruise ships. Those are boring croissants. Those don't do it for me. I've never had one. Ugh, gross.

i want to hear about the hot fart you let out at the bar oh my god so as you guys know i text jen 87 times a day uh and then okay so here's a real question for you listeners have you ever like farted and it was so powerful you're like that couldn't have been me somebody must have simultaneously farted at the same time as me and this is it's impressive sometimes how bad they can be

it was just mine I was like somebody else farted at the same second as I did because this is like a this is power of two no I think it was I think you can do it why thank you I'm so glad you have faith in me Was it after you ate the pizza? No, I'm pretty sure it was before.

Maybe that's why the guy didn't eat your slice. Maybe that fart went right in his mouth and he was like gagging. No, but that was in a different place that I farted. That was before I ate the pizza. Oh, it was a different bar. Is that why you had to move locations? I don't know. I also feel like if I do fart, then I don't want to go to the bathroom right after the fart. That could be a clue that it was you that farted.

Smelled like farts, and then that girl went to the bathroom. So we know it was her. Oh, God. Gross. I got a lot of hot takes on farts, don't I? You do. It's kind of fun though if you do it in a crowded bar where nobody knows it's you. I know. And then just look at the guy next to you. Sometimes I'm convinced that they don't smell on airplanes. Like sometimes on the plane I fart and I'm like, where did it go?

I think that's true because I tend to get very gassy up in the air, but it's always just like little tiny gas bubbles. It's never like, well, and I don't think they smell. I don't think so either. Maybe it's all the, like the air that they're. you know, blowing on like into the plane, maybe that air just kills the fart air. I don't know how you always sit in that bathroom seat. Cause I had the bathroom seat on this last trip and.

It smells the whole, and it's not even like it smells like somebody's pee. The bathroom just has a bad smell. Like there's urine on the walls and they never clean it off. For clarification, when I book the flight, I'm not on Expedia. Like, hey, can I have the fucking seat by the toilet? That would be great. Thanks. I just am cursed and I always have the very back row. Like I do. I just. i don't know if it's when i check in for the flight i don't know how my fate to be bathroom adjacent like yeah

Always. It's always way back. If I'm even midway through the flight, I'm like, oh, wow. To what do I owe this honor to be in row 24 and not 27? Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. Oh, man. Excuse me. I burped. I mean, I kind of want to burp myself. How creepy is this on that last ship? Because I always eat pizza really late at night. Sorry. Thanks, that was a good one. It's been a while. I started storing little sides of ranch in my room for my late night pizza.

Oh, smart. And sometimes I would even take extra like red peppers and green peppers from the salad bar and also store those in my fridge. So when I got the late night pizza, I could add extra toppings to it. You are professional.

i'm getting really good at yeah at the buffet and my late night food intake which I know you're not supposed to eat late at night but like literally that's the only time I eat and that's my favorite time to eat I'll say it that's why I have to run every morning because I gotta run off my midnight supper no that's usually that's my favorite time to snack like you come home and like i watch a tv show before i go to bed

You should start, next time you go get pizza in New York, you should start taking the little to-go packets of red peppers and then you can keep them in your suitcase. Oh, you better do. I do. Oh yeah, those are in my, I have like my side pocket of my... backpack is basically it's all energy bars or condiments like that like food stuff that you better believe it oh yeah pro travelers right um

Awesome. Here's something I want to talk about. Okay. All right. So last night, one of the, so I went out with Sally Ann and her friend Shora, and then I brought my friend Katie Ellen Humphreys, who's the comedian from Vancouver. He's super funny. What a great name. Katie Allen Humphries? Yeah, Katie Allen Humphries. That's a great name. And I was also with Sally Ann Hall. I was out with friends that have like two first names as a first name, you know, like Sally Ann, Katie Allen.

So anyways, we go out and so anyways, but I know that Katie knows that guy in BC that I had sex with, like at Kathleen's wedding. So I told her, you know, I was like, all right, whatever. I have another drink. I'm like, so anyways, I, you know, I tell her I slept with him. And then.

He got like a really good review. Do you know what I mean? Like she was like he's a great guy like he's like and so he got lots of compliments and then I had to wonder if he tells somebody he slept with me Is somebody gonna give me a good review? Like, how does that conversation go? Oh, my God, that's funny. Right? It is exciting, though, when you get good reviews about a guy. You're like, oh.

I know. I feel good. I was like, oh, my God, he's getting a good review. I feel like everybody I tell that I had sex with him, they're like, oh, I like him. He's like a good guy. Do they know that you dress like Richard Simmons for three weeks after you saw him? I really gotta wear that headband again. Cause like, I can't tell you, it really is.

practical thing as a runner though because even today when the sweat drips in my eyes my eyes sting and then i don't want to touch my eyes then i'm like grabbing my shirt doing this like trying to get the sweat out of my eyes those headbands actually are It is because also, yeah, especially like.

Now that I'm older, I didn't used to wear sunscreen. Now I'm like obsessed where I have to wear it. And so that when sunscreen drips in your eye, that's even worse. And I know it hurts. It burns. It burns. But yeah, let's see. Let's just play this game for fun. Let's say somebody comes up to you, Jen, as my friend, and then goes, oh, I had sex with Christina. What do you say to that person?

What's your... Pretend I'm not here. What's your review of me? Well, my first question would be how long was her pubic hair? But then I... know of course your review would be awesome i'd be like oh she's so fun but but you would still bring up the pubes probably i would have to um I'm sure you got a great review. I mean, I'm sure he tells people that, like, you cleaned his toilet. I almost brought that up to Katie Allen, and I was like, I gotta skip that part of the story out. That was insane.

That's so cute, though. I mean, listen, I do like to clean toilets. Like, look at what I bought today before our podcast. I just got a new toilet bowl cleaner. And I'm also going to do my drains because I got liquid drain out too because I have some drainage problems sometimes in my apartment. Oh, I love drain out. dude it's gonna be a domestic day cleaning my fucking i mean when you told me that you were gonna clean his toilet i was like is this bitch in love or what because i just

This isn't an insult. It didn't seem like you. That's not an insult, but you don't seem like the person who would be like, let me go clean this guy's frigging.

the ring was just so powerful i didn't and i i didn't believe i i guess i didn't believe him when he was like oh the apartment came like that like it came with that with that ring around the toilet but then when i actually tried to get in there and clean that that ring i was like oh he's not kidding like like that is some stuck on toilering i don't know it's like maybe maybe whoever

lived in that place before him. Maybe they didn't flush the toilet for like two years. I mean, there's some people like younger bachelors or whatever. There's some people who never, ever. clean their toilet and you can tell. Oh yeah. Oh, I know. It is stained and oof. Yeah. You're inspiring me to clean my toilets. I mean, I'm a very clean person. It's not dirty, but.

Saturday vibes do. They have like cleaning day vibes to me. You know what I mean? Not that I really have any rules about days of the week because clearly I don't do anything anyways like Monday through Friday was kind of not productive but I don't know Saturday comes along I'm like I'm gonna also

I always have to go to like the dollar stores for cleaning supplies. It seems like cleaning supplies are not something I'm willing to spend like a lot of money on. Oh, I completely agree. I do not want to spend my money on. Yeah. Yeah, like there's part of me that wants to wait for one of those CVS coupons, you know, 40% off one item. Because even this Drano, I got a big thing. It was $12. And I'm an idiot because when I was like cleaning out my neighbor's apartment, I helped him.

with some last layers of the cleaning when he moved out. There was a huge thing of liquid Drano there. Oh, nice. And I should have grabbed it, but instead I grabbed like other stuff, other cleaning stuff. Well, I will say though, the one product you shouldn't buy at the 99 cent store or the dollar store that I learned the hard way, do not go cheap. Do not buy window instead of Windex. Not good. streak city bad like rubbing a cheap hotel lotion down your leg oh girl that's the worst i hate that

I think the time did start when we started the meeting because it feels like now we only have seven minutes left. Yeah, I knew it. Oh, well, we learn. Live and learn. Okay, I have one note and then you can finish with the rest of your notes. No, I just wanted to know what my review would be. Guys, if you know me and somebody's come up to you and let...

and confessed to having sex with me. Can you just tell me, just tell me with how that conversation went down. What did you say? What did he or she say? I would also ask if you shake during sex. I feel like. when you're excited in person you always have this little like wobble remember we talked about your walk one time where you're you kind of go back and forth i got a bit of a bobble head don't i

Your whole body, a bobble body. Bobble body. Oh my God, I'm calling this episode bobble body. Yeah, you're like one of those little things on the front of the dash of the car. Yeah. I would also ask if you fart in your sleep. I mean, I think we all probably do. Speaking of listeners with questions, I forgot to check the email again.

Oh, yeah. So, yes. Again, if you have a story about a conversation you had behind my back about me, somebody who came up to you and said that they've had sex with me, email us your story at jillanoffpot. What is it again? jillanoffpot at gmail.com. Yeah, gillanoffpod at gmail.com. And there's no G in gillin, right? No, J-I-L-L-I-N. Just like how we spell it. Like, whatever. Look down at your phone right now. That's how.

You can do it guys. Oh my God. I had one more. Oh, I had a really hot yoga instructor, which never happens. Well, that would motivate me to go back. I still need to go back to hot yoga. I haven't done it yet. I'm obsessed with core power, but I mean, like I said, it is expensive. I know I'm obsessed with it too. I do want to go because that's like, yeah.

it's i have core power here too in williamsburg i told myself when i signed up i was like if you if i just took out one or two days a week of going out like to a bar That would be the amount of money I spend for core power. Yeah. So I just decided in my head, except I've still been going out. Same. I find it so hard not to go out in New York, though. Even when I start getting up, you know, something like...

When I start doing things at home, eventually you hit a wall in New York and you just have to go out. Plus, I don't really have a full kitchen, so cooking's kind of hard here. New Yorkers do. We go out for all our meals. Yeah. I do not like staying in the walls of my... Yeah. Between the hours of like 6 and 10 p.m., yeah, at least.

Yeah, exactly. It's the nights where it's like, well, I don't know. It's weird. Maybe it's also like a post-COVID thing where I'm like, oh, I already spent a lot of time in this apartment. Like I... We weren't allowed to go out. Like I spent a lot of nights in that bed watching a lot of TV. And now I don't even want to turn on the TV. I'd rather sit in my hammock and read a book like.

The hammock's getting a lot of workout right now. It's the best. It looks so cozy. And I don't really stretch, as you know, after I run, but there is something about the angle of my legs in that hammock where they kind of like... I feel like they do kind of stretch out like my hamstrings, my calves. Like it's good. There you go. I'm accidentally stretching in there. Have you ever like done a show and then.

You don't realize for a while that you made out with one of the comics like 12 years ago. It's funny because I've been looking at some of your show posters and I'm like, is that the one that she had sex with or was it a different guy with the same first name?

my show posters yeah i'll have to text you because i think i was confusing two guys and i was like oh jen's got a show with a guy she's already had sex with i get excited when i see a show poster and i see somebody that you've slept with on text me again let me know but um recently i did and all of a sudden i was like oh my god i made out with that guy like 12 years ago have you ever kissed somebody who has

like it's like a whale tongue like it's just round and thick and like i can't even describe it's like four of my tongues wait say that again are you farting

No, I'm trying I know I look like I'm farting but I'm I need to stretch out my right butt cheek There's been like some issues back there where I'm like feeling right now. That's it. But wait, explain this kiss again. You said you're like a whale tongue like somebody's tongue this is just like way too big have you ever seen a whale and they stick their tongue up it's just this huge big fat yeah oh no that's not good

I wonder if you ever had that experience of a tongue that's way too thick. Probably. And then my mind goes to bad places where I'm like, oh. it's like do you even want that guy to go down on you it's like if you like if you can't even pump gas how are you gonna do under the hood like well it might work to his advantage in that situation that's true just a big sloppy line whatever Why did I make that noise? Probably good for eating butts. Gross. I don't do that.

I'm so excited that I am not of the ass eating generation. I can't. Oh my God. I can't imagine. I am too. But with everybody that talks about it, I'm almost a little offended that nobody's ever tried. I think if you saw how much hot sauce I put on my food, how much dirty draft beer. Christina drinks a lot of draft. Probably best not to fucking eat her, but. That's the review that you get.

That's my review. Hey, just don't eat her ass. She fucking likes dirty draft beer and IPAs and hot sauce. Oh God, we have less than a minute. Jen, do you have anything, any last words for the jillers? Yeah. Subscribe to our Patreon. Oh, yeah. Patreon. We always put our juice in the Patreon. I'm unemployed now. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Send donations. I know you will. You're princess. Here you come.

here i come i love it um now everything's gonna be good but still join our patreon i mean patreon is just a good time What if that verb took us right to the end of the episode? I was really hoping it would.