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You can't help when it comes to communication, having a breakdown of communication to say that if there is any sort of communication, you're gonna have bad communication as well. We've talked about assumptions many times on the show about how people assume things, and misunderstandings is kind of a smaller category of that. Misunderstandings and communication are those things that happened innocently. Most of the time, you'll do something or someone else will do something, and then you kind
of need two halves to this. You need the person sending out the message and the person receiving the message. So the person who sends the message does one thing could be innocently, and then the person that receives the message receives it either partially or inaccurately or what have you. And then you have misunderstandings. And they have been all over the place. They happen in scripture, of course, and
this breakdown in communication. The reason why it's it's unique and I wanted to point it out is that there is something, there's this great pride that shadows people when it comes to knowing things. Well, I know this or I just know this. And when it comes to knowing the heart of man, you will never be right. There's too much to it. You may have a decent insight and say, okay, well my perception is this, it's this, or it's this, but truly, no one knows the heart
of man except God. So one guy says something, the other guy interprets that goes, oh, well, I think this, and no one ever talks just kind of go on and start spreading that misunderstanding. Have you ever seen a fight or a scuffle breakout between siblings when a mother or father is in the room observing everything, and how just the slightest situation, Oh well, he hit me. Well no, he didn't hit you. I saw the way it went down.
He was backing up from getting from the table and backed his chair and you not knowing that you were there, and the kids are so ready to just say no, absolutely not.
He bumped into me. He did that on purpose.
And how much like children are you when you come to a conclusion that someone has done you wrong without all the facts. And it seems that because detective shows or television shows where people can know all and come to conclusions faster than anybody else, because all things are solved in the twenty two minute half hour of a television program, or of course in forty five minutes should they have commercial breaks, and it'd be an hour. But
that's just not the way life is not. Everything's going to be so cut and dry, and there's confusion in life. And communication is of a very wonderful and delicate art at times. But if you look at the workplace and even the home and the relationships you're in, how easy
it is to be misunderstood. And through this misunderstanding, something get buried and then pushed on to someone else, and then they push it on to someone else, and then they push it onto someone else, and it becomes becomes fact just by populous, and scripture is not keen on that specifically. A scripture says in Matthew eighteen fifteen that if you have an issue of any kind, you're to go to that person and you're to explain your issue, and you're going to let them defend themselves or explain
or learn from what they did wrong. But it doesn't seem to be in fashion, It doesn't seem to be in vogue to give somebody the opportunity to correct themselves, and so someone will go running off with a misunderstanding. Happens all the time corporate America. The perception you hear somebody say part of a sentence, or you see somebody
do something. Just the other day, I saw two people coming out of one of the studios at the radio station, and they were in a conversation prior to being in the studio, and then continued it as they left the studio in a whisper fashion. And the automatic assumption is that, oh, they must be talking about the person that they just saw in the studio. That makes sense, they're leaving the place whispering had nothing to do with the person in
the studio. I see people in the grocery store who watch somebody who gets in front of them, and they think that the person is doing that on purpose, when an actuality, the person didn't see them or was confused
by the way the line is set. And these little misunderstandings may not seem like a big deal to you, but what ends up happening is either hurt feelings come from that, or anger festers up because somebody feels that they've been done wrong, Or what happens is somebody will defend themselves in their own mind if they perceive somebody as doing something to them by starting some sort of war with that person, whether it be behind the scenes
or spreading rumors or what have you. And these misunderstandings can be ugly and damaging. You'd be surprised how much you don't know about the people around you. And so that's part of the beauty of getting to know one another. This spreads in so much. I see wonderful relationships wobbling or taking on horrible, horrible pain because of misunderstandings, and
because of people's fear of being rejected. They may not be you may not be very prone to ask the tough questions or to you know, really find out if something's going on or if there's a concern. Maybe you don't want to know, but scripture is clear, you go to one another and you talk about these things. The majority of the problems that come from miscommunication going to be cleared up very quickly. The secondary problem is that
nobody believes anybody anymore. So even when you try and correct things, it seems that it gets oh okay, yeah, but I still don't believe them, And I'm not sure why this says, I'm not sure why once you have something locked inside you you have some idea of how it went down, that you believe that that's the only way it could go down. This is all throughout scripture. There's tons of things in scripture that have that the
attitude of misunderstanding. There's things that are taught in scripture that people were taught wrong growing up, and I still assume that it's in scripture. I hear arguments all the time. You've heard them on this very program where people will call up and say, oh, well, that's because you know the apple that Eve ate there wasn't an apple. It
doesn't say anything about an apple. It says fruit. Not a very big misunderstanding, but some people can be I've heard arguments saying, oh, well, I heard that the Garden of Eden was in Palestine, and that's not possible they don't have apples. But yeah, all kinds of a lot of assumptions that someone has to to swallow first before they can even make that argument. In logic, they call it a straw man argument. When you build and imagine
like a scarecrow. You build a false argument, this false person, and then you torch the person. They say, well, that's fine, but that's not even that's not even a real person.
That person's made out of straw.
And there's much that in scripture where somebody will say, oh, well, there was two of each animal on the arc. No, there were pairs. Sometimes there were more than two of each animal. And people say things like Jonah and the whale doesn't say whale, says big fish, and different things, different stories that you know, there was three wise men. No, it doesn't say three wise men, says the magi. There was three gifts. So the assumption is it's three, but
not necessarily. You know, people think about the image of an angel and what an angel looks like or what an angel has and the one pair of wings and the harp and the singing, and you're not going to find that in scripture. So there's things that get built in throughout history or time and the assumption is this is what scripture says or what have you. And there's those types of misunderstandings and all in all, the important thing to do in every case where you think that you.
Might just on one tiny little.
Point might be wrong, just take the time to research and take the time to talk it out, Tom, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hello, you've been so patient. I recognize that you called last week as well, and you did not get on. I'm so grateful that you are. You are patient enough because your call was one that touched me.
Well, keep what's going on.
As the word says, keep seeking and keep knocking. I was a pastor for twenty one years. Eighteen years ago, though I committed adultery, I did leave the ministry. I repented, I built bridges. I haven't pastored for eighteen years now. I'm still with my dear wife of thirty eight years. But now I have a chance to go back into the pastorate. But something nagging at me because biblically am I permanently disqualified? Or or do I have a chance at restoration? Since for the overseer he is to be
blameless and above reproach. And so I am struggling with Biblically, can I be a pastor again?
There is nothing, there's nothing in scripture that grants that wish as it were. I know you're looking for a different answer, Tom, And the pastor and and and standing before people in that context is one of great weight and one that comes up obviously in scripture, as you quote Uh and Timothy and Titus.
Chuckswindall.
UH, well known author and pastor himself once said that talking about this very issue, that it takes only one pin to burst a balloon. And I know that the world continually gets more relaxed with things and less offended by things, and therefore they start to go, oh, well, you know you should be more relaxed on this. And I know you've seen a lot of TV preachers that have fallen away or had situation then just get restored right back, and really that all that does is make
Christianity more of a laughing stock. That doesn't mean that there aren't things for you to do. There aren't wonderful places for you to be in the church and things that you can participate in. But it asks that of Scripture specifically, because that's the mindset that a pastor has to be in to be in that place being above reproach. And it doesn't mean that you can't teach or there
aren't ways to teach. I'm gonna ask you to put stay on hold, Tom because I want to talk to you just after this quick uh, this quick break, but I want to talk to you more about what that means and some things that you may be able to do that would fulfill that calling.
Tom, thanks for holding on.
Bumper music but brought me to my knees.
That was.
Seemed to speak to my heart.
That's that's why we have someone like Tony with us to help orchestrate those moments as we go in and out that emphasize with modern and older music as to what's going on in people's lives. And right now, Tom, you stand before your God as someone who has you think of it this way, you're not being It's not punitive.
When I when I.
Tell you that if you're a pastor and you fall away from the standard of of leadership, the confused us lies in Christians going, well, shouldn't we forgive?
Absolutely?
But this kind of earlsheibe one day paint job mentality is great for a car, but not for restoring a pastor to leadership. And that's become kind of the.
The set pacing.
Well, if you give him a year off and we kind of brush him up, get the dings out, repaint them and put them back behind the pulpit, everything's going to be fine. But I'll tell you something my producer Neil I thought about ministry at one time.
Not a good enough guy. Knew it right out.
He's just not a good enough guy, and and knew that all it would do is bring problems to God. And so if you're if you're going to stand before God that way, Tom and lead people, you've you've got to be in a different category and you've got to be created for it.
Now.
Paul knew this.
Paul knew that if there were any problems, he would be disqualified. Listen to his words in one Corinthians nine twenty seven. He said, I disciplined my body. I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. And that's, you know, with the context of Paul, obviously, that's dealing with sexual sin and the concern of that
being a problem. And you, you, in that moment when you had that affair, you in that moment, said that that woman, that orgasm, that sexual contact was more important than your wife, than your own word and commitment, and your God, you forfeit. You made the decision. You God told you what the rules were, and you agreed to them, and you forfeited that. I hope it was a great orgasm, because that was that you forfeited, that, you gave that up and you walked away from it. Now, that doesn't
mean God hates you. God still loves you. The Church once loves you and wants you in the church. But this kind of revolving door can be a problem, especially to non believers, and believers just end up going oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and they hear the teacher at the pulpit and they go, oh, well, it's not a big deal, you know. And it's not that you can't be human, but you got to be above reproach. You've got to be standing above those things. You have to be a good husband and a righteous man.
And that's the core problem.
With the church.
Is that they look for dynamic speakers, good writers, somebody who can publish books, someone who can sing well play guitar, and that's and none of those things are mentioned in scripture, none of them.
And yet you gave Peter a second chance.
It's not about second chances Peter. Peter denied in fear. But Peter didn't, in that state of authority sleep with someone sexual sin. You know this in scripture is set apart and as a siner gets the body and that and culturally that tends to kind of fall by the wayside. You can look for excuses, Tom, Yeah, and you'll find them in every nook and cranny of life. You will find And I know that the assumption is, oh, well, you know what, there's this this show they call it
Jesus Christ show. They've got to have liberal theology. No, that is the That is the one reason why I'm here is in hopes of one letting the legalists that are just you know, trying to to crush the spirit of Christianity know that I'm out there watching, and two to let the those that are liberal in their theology know that I'm out there watching.
Well, I always used to say, an excuse there's only a skin of a reason wrapped in a lie. So I'm not looking for any excuses.
And that's a beautiful way to say it.
You've got You've got your lovely wife who has been who has been wonderful enough to forgive you through all of this and to stand by you.
That's amazing.
You should be received into the body and uh, you should participate in the church and enjoy the church. And uh be brought back into fellowship, but not as a pastor. There's nothing in scripture that's going to say that nothing. And I know that's hard line, and I know people will have problems with it, and people are going to say, but I went through this and now I'm a But it doesn't matter if you do that. In that moment, you tell God, I want this instant, I want this romance,
I want this physical sensation. I want this more than I want you. And this position that you called me to you and you give it up, you had the strength to not do it, and you chose not to. There's a lot of sins you fall into in life because they're around you in the way it is and getting upset. I mean, if you were dealing with with certain other attributes, it's not like you were gluttonous and
you've lost the weight. Now this is something specific, and I know that that stinks and it's not what you wanted to hear. But the reason why you should seek leadership, the reason.
Why you should seek God.
Is because you respect it, because you're good at it, you're comfortable doing it, or you liked it and you received a lot from it. And people seem to like when you say that's not it. I see these little, these small little churches, Tom, with twenty families in them, and the pastor doesn't speak that well, but boy he loves God, and boy he knows scripture, and they're small little churches. And then you get these slick churches, and not all the large ones are slick, but you know
the difference. Slick churches with everything right and everything is going smoothly, and they get massive and people think that that's where God is because they're massive. Again, because I'm gonna get emails people getting confused. I'm not saying that a mega church or a very large churches is not a church of God. I'm saying there's a difference. But to just look at those appearances and say ones of God because it's large, and ones not of God because
it's small. And all these different excuses people make about what a pastor should.
Be and what shouldn't and all of these things.
No Scripture says, and it's very specific, and you knew that going into it, Tom, and you could quote it to.
Me today.
And you said, for that moment, that time, however long the affair lasted, that it didn't matter. You said, I don't care, I want this and I want it now, and you got it. Thank Heaven that your wife is a godly woman who allowed you back into the marital bed and in her life. You should count your blessings there. And it doesn't mean that you can't write about your experiences, that you can't use it to be a teaching tool. That you'll never use any of your abilities for God
is a silly statement. But you can't do that anymore because if you do that, as it says in scripture, you crucify me twice. If you do that, you stand and it doesn't show the glory of forgiveness. It shows that nobody's watching the church and nobody cares. And it's beyond just.
Being human.
It was decisive, wouldn't you say, Tom, you made a decision to do that. Yes, And aren't you man enough both as a human and a Christian to receive those consequences as they stand here on earth?
I would hope.
So, Well, then why.
Don't you move forward with that? An opportunity doesn't mean it's a good one just because it exists. There are Christians that ask the other Christians to do things all the time. That may not be good for them. The hope is that you have your own set of tools for discernment and the ability to go Nope, this isn't right for me, because you know, one Christian can say you want to come over, I'm having a wine tasting and it's not a problem for them, and it's not
a sin. Yet you're asking an alcoholic a Christian and for them it would be a sin to participate in. You can't slap the face of God on this one, Tom, and I know that's not what you were looking for. And you were so very brave and you know to take the time and to call and to share those things and to explain what you've gone through. But I think that the church waivers far too much on certain things.
And as I said, you know, my producer Neil couldn't live up to what it takes to be a pastor, which is why he's not and why he's got to participate in a show like this too, hopefully show his own love for God. Susan, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
I just want to start by saying thank you very much for your show. I really appreciate it and I learn a lot from it, so I look forward to it every week.
Oh, you're very nice, thanks for joining us.
Okay, I have a question. I have two parts to it. I hope it doesn't seem too foolish, but I wonder the Bible says we are wonderfully and fearfully made. I wondered if there's any spiritual connection or significant to men and beards. Okay, And I have two questions to questions religious that Number one, why did God create men to have beards? You know, he careered they were created that
way when all they do is shave it off. And then the main reason is my son decided to go a beard, and I just thought, like most guys, he wanted to just give his face a rest from shaving every day. But when I asked him, I was very surprised to hear his answer. He said he did some research on it, and in Bible times the only men that were bare faced, as he says, were eunuchs and gays, and so he said, I will never be bear faced again.
And I was thought very strange, And I was just wondering if you had any any thoughts on that.
Not true on a lot of different levels. And there's so much.
Unfortun we're not going to have time to get through all of it, so I'll cut right to the chase. That the reason why there's beards is because the bodies are adaptable. The bodies are adaptive to their surroundings, and body hair is part of that process. That's why you get you know, what people call goose pimples or goosebumps and the hair stands on it and stuff like that. That is a reaction to the surrounding and your body
adapting to it. And the little hairs on your arms, the hairs on your face are all there for protective reasons for different parts or different things that were done. That we're the roles of men and women. That's why there's differences there. And you know, women may carry fatty tissue in certain areas that men don't, et cetera. Some people would say, well, that has to do with the evolutionary process and all this. No, it's by design and there's specifics to it and a biological specifics to it
that help with the individuals too. Esthetics that there are aesthetic differences just like you see in nature, specifically for the appearance of you know, if you see often the male of the species often has the really colorful plumes, and you think it would be the ladies, but not necessarily true. And that's to attract a mate, and so there's certain things about it being masculine and being distinct
from the female that becomes attractive. Doesn't mean that a woman now likes a beard, but I will tell you this that even women who like clean shaven men like when a man has double sometimes and it gives that look of relaxation and all these things. So there's aesthetic
things that go there. Scripturally, the reason why our Jewish brothers and sisters would trim their beards, and now the Orthodox Acidic Jews and the like will continue with this process is because Leviticus nineteen twenty seven, specifically Leviticus nineteen twenty seven talks about rounding the corners of your head, so the beards and the sideburns were grown grown out,
and this part of the process of separating. The vitical laws were there to separate from the pagans at the time, and what the Pagans were doing, the our Jewish brothers and sisters wouldn't be doing, so they would try and separate themselves from the things that were going.
Going on in the day.
Now, some of the pagans might have and did practice in certain things, whether it be homosexuality or what have you, and so that may be where your son is kind of turning this up. But really it's a it's a it's a far stretch, and I'm not sure what your uh, you know, what your son is protesting or what issues he's going through that he feels the need to protest his sexuality or his lack of a certain type of sexuality or I'm not sure what's going on there or
what your son's going through. There might be that would be a time for another discussion, is my guess. But that's the biblical tie in and then biological tie in and all of that, and I hope that that helps
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