Jesus Christ Show | Hour 3 [12/25]

Joyce. Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Thank you, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Joyce. What's on your mind? Well, eighteen years ago my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, and around December of that year he had one lung removed, and then the following month, in January, he had one kidney removed because of lung cancer. And the doctor says, well, we'll do everything we can, but I suggest to go home and get your fears in order during the next six months. So we were both dumbfound

it. But three years he's said so many health issues and I miss him. I love miss so much, and he just died last a month. And I've been trying to reach all the reef books and understand all these things. But I'm sorry for crying, crying without wanting to, and then it'll be okay. But why would you try to stop your crying? Why would you try and stop your tears? Because they make me feel like I shouldn't be doing it, that I should be strong and brave and all the things

you mentioned sometimes about being courageous. Oh but that's not no, that's that is fiction. There is nothing weak about tears. There's there is only one place without tears, that says in scripture, and that's heaven, and that's the fulfillment of everything, and there's no need for them. Hope is fulfilled.

But while you're here on earth, that that is given to you as a gift to experience, to continue to have a physical reaction along with your emotions to a loss, a love, tears of joy, tears of pain, those are precious. They're not weak, not weak at all. Well, when you Mintioned mentioned passion a short time ago, I thought, you know, during all these years, the past two years, he was pen bound and I was with them all the time, helping him and taking care

of them, and he never complained. He was always such a good person, and I would get short with him sometimes. I think sometimes now I think I should have been kinder. But I always say a passion, for that is what you said about I was always he would say, oh, i'll see in a few minutes, because I keep going back in and talking to Hi much or telling him something. And I said, I can't help it. Here's like a magnet. You just I just like seeing you,

you know anyway, But I'm not even sure what to say anymore. He was just such a kind I think I think part of it was he was my everything. He was my friend, he was my husband, he was my TARKI for he was everything. He was a little boy sometimes and a strong man. And and I just miss all of those people. Well, the best of them are all of those things and more. And God trusted his heart to you and brought you to him and him to you, and

trusted both of you with each other's lives. And as far as getting upset, and there is so many emotions when somebody is sick, and it is about the mechanical and the most boring basic things of having to feed or go back and forth when somebody can't. That's the basic fatigue, lack of sleep, those are just the basic mechanics. And then deep down it's also the

sadness that shows up as anger. That what that means is you know, we're not who we used to be, or I can't experience you in the same way as we used to do, or you know I miss these things. It comes out in many different ways. But what you said is profound. You said he was like a magnet. That's the way relationships should be, not in a compulsive way. But in an interdependent way where it's just

the mere presence of them has power. Just being in the other room, even if you're not talking, just the being around and feeling the energy of somebody in your life is powerful. It's beautiful. That's exactly That's exactly how it was. And he had a little room that he liked to be in with the TV and sports and movies and reading the paper. And he was always always could make me laugh or smile. And he was so witty and

so kind, and I was always teaking on him. He had a door that was used to be an old door, like in the old fashioned I forget what you call him telephone booths. Oh, yes, last panels. So even when the door was closed, if I had to go into the other bathroom or into we only had one in the bathroom, I would always cross by that door, and I always could see him sleeping, watching TV

or reading. And it always, I don't know, it always gave me a sense of I don't know how to describe it, like wonderment or something, just how he could be so calm and generous with his time and energy and storytelling you. He was a wonderful storyteller. And oh, thank you

for letting me talk about me feel so much better. Of course, you know, there's some things that I would love for you to take with you today, and one of them is to maybe journal the stories as best as you can, to write them down in a book and the way it was brought to you, and the understanding of those things, because you're kind of the curator. I tell people this a lot that you've got to understand.

When you're the one that outlives someone, you end up being the curator of their jokes, of their thoughts, of their ideas, and if you put them down on paper, it's a good thing they live. There there's something you can look at and see that it's tangible and reread and it helps you categorize some of these emotions and memories in a loving and fun way. And it's like, you know, the book of your husband and certain things like

that. Secondly, how old were you when you met Oh? I think just under forty maybe well when we first met, oh, probably in by thirties. Okay, So now imagine all the life you lived prior to meeting him. Yes, that life is what attracted him to you. Now, of course, physical beauty and the way you moved, and your eyes and your smile, and all these things are there. But that knowledge, the things that you learned, the way you listened, the stories you told,

all of that is what made him love you. And your job now is to continue those things, continue learning, continue laughing, continue living in a way that honors your relationship, honors the time that he took with you, honors the time that you took with him, and that honors God and the time that you had together in him putting you two together, and to take

those things and to appreciate them by living still. He was your everything in the way that you both focused on each other, but he's not your everything in reality. You came in you to that relationship with everything, and you leave that relationship with everything, including the beautiful memories of being with him and

what you both gave to each other. So Joyce, I want you to go and peace, my dear, on this Christmas Eve, and I want you to think happy thoughts, and I want you to write down the thoughts of holidays, pasts, of stories past, and of things that Joyce wants to do. What is Joyce going to do now? What does this remainder of your life look like. How are you going to honor that relationship by continuing to live? Which is the best thing to do when someone passes,

is to continue to honor them by living. M m Allison, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Good morning and Happy Christmas. Well, happy Christmas to you. How can I help you? So, my wonderful, beautiful six year old who's extremely intelligent and well spoken and reads well and understands at a greater level that most think. For Esus to want to go with me today to Christmas Eve service to celebrate your birth well not uncommon. So as

a parent, what's your initial gut reaction? I'm a little frustrated because this young man is blessed beyond means. His mommy and his daddy is a chef who just lost his job because of the twenty dollars an hour increase. His mommy is a housekeeper that works when he's at school so that she's available to him all day. And he is never without, he has never been without. And I just there's just something about this that is really really bugging me. To Jesus, Well, one, I wouldn't force it. It's much

easier when you start early. And I will tell you that just as a point of comfort, not to take from your personal story, but my producer, Neil Save, has a seven year old and it goes through the same thing. It's not just you. It is complicated. Kids are very smart. As a matter of fact, there are studies that show that kids think on a genius level, and that basically people parents, schools kind of ungeniusfy them because trying to put people in a box and teach them about different things

rather than understanding and reasoning. But kids are very good problem solvers. Kids have a great intellect. They're thirsty, and they're taking it all in the concept of God, the concept of faith, and the concept of these things are very difficult because everything is provided for them. So imagine this with all those great blessings and all those things that you described, that your child has

the brain of a six year old. Now you take Adam and Eve, you put them in perfection, in paradise, in the presence of God, and they still don't get it. So don't expect the six year old to get it all. I would start maybe with stories. There is a Bible that I have referred to on this show, and I recommend called the Picture Bible. And yeah, so that's a great start, especially when you go through the holidays. You can read from that. There are cartoons that can

be helpful about the basics of the story of what's going on. Nativities in the house can be helpful. Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt you, but I will make you laugh. Literally, when I was explaining to him why we got to go to Christmas church, he ran and grabbed his little book of the Charlie Brown Christmas and he read me the passage that line has read him. He's like, I understand Christmas, Mommy, I don't need to go to church. Okay, well, see that's a really wonderful thing.

And by the way, I'll let the other part slide. But when it comes to understanding, that's the first part. That's first part of everything. You understand what it is first, and then you understand what that means, what that knowledge means, and then you apply it. A six year old is not going to apply it. As a matter of fact, a six year old is not at the point of understanding. It's a matter some theologians believe that Heaven forbid, if he passed today, he's not accountable for

what he doesn't know because he's six. Some people say it's ten, some people say it's twelve. All of these things the reality, Allison, all

you can be is an example. If he doesn't understand church or doesn't want to participate, that's a bigger issue of trying to to explain the importance of getting together with you know, other people, and there'll be other kids and they'll be opportunities to learn some things and ask questions, but it is it's complicated, and unless they're going to church day one and it's just part of

the family, it's more difficult to introduce it to them later. And having that structure is important, but it's not always easy, especially in today's world. But the fact that a kid doesn't want to go to church, it's not the end of the world. The key is to understand first, because

his communion, his connection is with you, your family. That's where he's getting his coin and the at right now, that communion, that connection later it will come from the church body, and you'll have to weave that in the curiosity. The curiosity starts now in understanding I was trismacy, the true

tick less set, unsafe other merry Christmas to you. I know that there's a lot going on in the world, but celebrations and festivals and feasts and these things can be important to remind you what life is and why it's worth fighting for, why it's worth celebrating, and in this particular case, to give thanks towards the birth of a savior that could bring salvation to those that believe and have faith. Now, not everybody will be in a state of

joy, but this is still a time of gathering and connecting. Eight hundred and five to zero one five three four is the number if you have a theology question or life situation question anywhere in the US of eight eight hundred and five to zero one five three four. Joanna, Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Hi Jesus, Yeah, thank you for your birth and your resurrection, of course. And I just, you know, like a lot of moms, I'm sure and grandmother's I just I'm getting I'm seeing all the packages

I've wrapped and I'm still making some food. And I feel like with my kids, my daughter, I'm just tolerated. It's not like I'm even wanted there. And I don't want to be like, you know, it's just hurtful because I know I'm going to go there, and it's just like they're doing an obligation and my son probably won't even say a word to me, and my daughter just tolerates. And this attitude has influenced I feel like my

grandkids a bit not I mean, they just don't see that included. I live like two miles from my daughter, for example, and here's an example. So you know, there her and her husband are making tmallies. Well you know, she's Hispanic, he's not. And it's like a you know, tradition in my family for years. I am not included. I'm not asked to come, I'm not asked for any you know, and it's this is the first time they've done it. And my daughter said, oh yeah,

well we've got to Tomali's. You know, it's too much with a lot of people. But then she let me know that she had invited mark my granddaughters, and it's hurtful. I just don't. I know, there's a lot of things in the past, but I've tried to you know, well, her dad and I got a divorce, and her anger towards me, it just doesn't stop. It just doesn't matter what. Let's for the sake of you know, time, We're obviously limited, and I want to ask you a couple questions, Joanna. First of all, is dad still

in the picture anywhere? Yeah? My ex husband, he lives two blocks from me and he if not, we're neither one of us are married, although he has been married two other times after me. Oh great, he's not married. So does he have a relationship with the kids and the grandchildren? Oh? Yeah, they adore him. Okay, So did you activate the divorce? H I left? Yeah? I left? Yeah, I left. Okay. So in your words, and I know this can be hard to be objective, but to look outside of the situation. Why do

you think they have a problem with you? Well, I'm I guess I do have strong opinions, but I don't scare them. And then when I do, when I get abused, what I feel like I've been used too much? Then out in a way that's not good. Okay, So you weaponize your responses too, Well, yeah, it has been but well, well after years, you know, it takes a while. I mean,

it's just so much abuse. Like we were, I was babysitting constantly, and you know, I'm seventy at least I was sixty five at the time, and just totally just dropping them off and not concern And then when they're relatives, when his family would come over from out of state, they would be taking him to dinner, taking going to the kids of the zoo.

But my hex husband and I were simply the drop off people. And after a while, yeah, it got to feel like geez, you know, so your ex husband was doing the same thing, doing something similar, picking up, dropping off. Did he have the same problems with it that you did. No, he did it, he did it. No, he doesn't, he does than that ever at all? You know, Well, then, can I just heard one thing? Jesus, this is just so

it's so okay. So just real quick, Like a month ago, October twenty fourth, my sister, my oldest sister, this ady called me her kids embezzled her entire account, which was over one million dollars, and quick claimed her home. She called me from out of state. Yeah, she called me from out of state. She's not even my closest sister, but you know, she's my sister. So I said, I'm coming out there.

I'll fly out there, and I brought my ex husband. He's pretty mild mannered and she's got you know, he's despite the fact we've in the drawers whatever fifty years, were still close in the family, and he felt she felt like she needed we needed some support. So I went over that when we got there and in this rush to save my sister because her the people that in bezzled are sitting there in her home boasting that they have her

house now. So we get her car. We started to read in my ex and ended up having this episode where he was like lost his mind, and I think later it was maybe having to do with the hell high altitude from where we were living, and I had to spend time in the emergency room. They wanted to do all this stuff. I get my sister home back to California and he had some test. It didn't show anything, and my daughter was very angry that I didn't stay there. I cannot stay.

I'm in California. Your dad seems okay now he found me out, Joanna, she won't stay to me now, Okay. Well, we're up against the clock and that's something. There's something no. But I just want to say this, my dear, because I can hear the frustration. I can't pull all the people in your daughter's your ex I only have you the work. Sounds like it's your work that needs to be done. Don't worry about them, and that's going to take You're going to have to face it and

say to make this better. You know you're going to want to hear exactly what their problem is, your family, your daughters, because it it seems, I mean, even you giving me specific dates October twenty fourth of these, that you keep things differently, you hold them differently in your heart, and you express them differently, and for whatever reason, that makes it difficult

for people to enjoy your presence, and then you don't enjoy it. And I don't think you deserve to be in that situation, and I don't think they deserve to be in that situation. But the key is with you for your life, because you're the one that's bold and brave enough to call in and ask the question. I'm giving you the answer, and that is you need to do some work on yourself. But first of all, you need to have some very tough either letter exchanges or sit downs with your daughter and

say, what is it about me that bothers. You I'm giving you. Don't argue with them, don't any of that. You just take it, go home with it and see what is real and what you feel you need to work on, because this is to better you, not better them. You know, we come together on Sundays. This show has been on for over two decades. I know, right, kind of nutty, isn't it. It's been syndicated for over a decade, a meaning that it airs on

some eighty stations or so across the country. And the years and the cycles go by, and inevitably we come across at least two major holidays, Christmas and Easter, and the importance of these holidays to the believer, to the Christian one is the birth of hope, and one is the fulfillment of hope. The birth of hope, obviously is celebrated on Christmas, and the completion the actualizing of that hope is on Easter, the death on the Cross and

the resurrection. If nothing else, in the pain, in the loss and a lot of loss still in calls, we can't get to whether it's Dennis's sweet dog Anne and her friend that she's trying to help, whatever it might be, contemplation of the afterlife from John. Whatever it might be going through your head today on Christmas, whatever it is, try to focus on the hope of the birth, the newness of the birth, the faith that surrounded the birth, not only of Mary, the faith of Joseph, the faith

of the Madge to traverse to get to see the baby King. Focus on that hope. With every death there is newness. With the end of something is the beginning of something else. And to stare as much pain as it has involved in the loss of something or someone, and that pain is real

and should be experienced. However, in addition to that comes the reality of life, of more trials and understanding, of more blessings, of more curiosity and fulfillment of knowledge, of passing torches on to younger and newer generations.

And even in all the pain and confusion in the world, if just within this season you can take the time and lean your faith on a birth and the newness of that birth, then maybe that and wanting to serve others and having a servant's heart will give you a perspective and insight that will go beyond your circumstances or situation and guide you into an understanding that goes beyond this world into the next. Merry Christmas, and remember these simple words, I am

with you. Always reach out of us face yep personogy esus. Someone want to hear, but someone who kills your personogy ess.