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Jesse Kelly Show, another hour of the Jesse Kelly Show on a.
Wednesday, on a Thanksgiving Eve.
And we have so much to get into this Elon Vivek Department of Government Efficiency. There's some stinky gopers involved in this whole thing. We'll discuss that. People have a lot to say about Thanksgiving that'll probably have to be talked about this hour. Some we have well, people were angry with Utah, I don't understand why? Oh that and so much more coming up this hour on the world famous Jesse Kelly Show. I want to begin here doctor Jesse Iowa resident here that would love the primary my
entire delegation. Jony Ernst was just tapped to help Elon and Vivek with Doge. Is it even possible to primary her?
Now?
All right? So here is This is the problem.
We are going to have and it's going to be a source of frustration for you and me. But we also have to understand this. We want the system cleaned out. We want the bad guys to lose. We want them to be fired. This includes losers and the GOP. We want them primary want. We want the system cleaned out. We want good people to replace them because we care about our country, and that's good.
All those things are.
Good, but it takes time to do it, and working within the system makes it very, very difficult to clean the system. I this Department of Government Efficiency. I'll just go ahead and lay it out there. And I'm not gonna spend a lot of time on this because I don't like talking about it. I love the idea of it. I love that Elon and Vivek are doing it. I love that they're talking about cutting this and cutting that.
And then I saw the list. I don't have it in front of me, but then I saw the list of the gopeers who are going to be helping them do it. And it's John Cornyn, it's Jony Ernst. And if I was part of the swamp, part of the system, and I wanted to ensure that no significant parts of the system are going to face any opposition, I would do exactly what they've done. I would take some gop rhinos and I would throw them on this DOGE commission because they're gonna get in there and they're going to
really dig into it. Except they're not. What they'll do is what the people like Joni Ernst and John Cornyn. What they will do is they will act as if they're doing something, but without ever actually doing anything significant. You know, when I was a kid, you know how, I don't eat vegetables. I refuse to eat vegetables unless it's an onion or something that's delicious. But I don't eat vegetables. And so when I was a kid, I
used to think I was really, really slick. My parents would always of course, in my house, you had to eat whatever was prepared. You sit down and you're not allowed to get up to it's done. So I'd sit down and there'd be something disgusting on the plate, like turkey or lima beans or something like that or both, and I would push things around the plate instead of leaving the big pile of lima beans right where they were. I wouldn't eat any, of course, but I would move
some over here, and move some over there. Let's just get rid of this big pile. I haven't actually done anything significant, but from the outside looking at for someone looking over at my plate, it might appear that I've done some damage to those lime of beans. Granted I had ten before, I still.
Have ten, but the ten are different places.
That is the exact kind of thing that the John Cornyn and Jony Erth's Ernst types are going to do with the Department of Government efficiency. They'll get in and you watch you just watch Chris write this down. You watch the losers and the GOP senate who are getting involved in this. They're gonna start publicly bragging about the cuts they're making, and they'll find the most absurd things which we shouldn't be funding. Of course, you know, we're
funding turtles with mental disabilities in the Caribbean. Like that's the kind of crazy crap the government funds. They'll find these ridiculous things. Jony ern still find these things and then she'll put it out there all over social media.
Look at what I've cut.
We're no longer funding these moronic turtles.
I am cutting things.
It's an hotter to be part of Trump's government, and we're cutting the government.
Only when you dig into it, it'll be.
Fifty thousand dollars. Not that fifty thousand dollars is nothing. It's significant. But you'll notice they're not going to actually cut anything that's really really crushing us. That stuff is what they're there to protect.
You see, so.
I have a lot of concerns. I think they're gonna sit down at that plate full of lime of beans and they're gonna push it all over the plate, and then they're gonna brag to you and me if I look at the great work we've done. I saw that list of names that's going to be on the Doge Council, and I just honestly almost poored a whiskey. Dear Papa Cream, stop calling me that I said that nickname one time. Okay, I should not have said that. You recently mentioned your
stance on stop nutting the dessert. As a person experiencing a tree nut allergy, I appreciate you speaking out against big nuts. I'm sure you firmly stand behind your comments. I call on you to lead by example and share your recommendations for the best desserts. World famous author leading the charge, we can finally begin the noble work of busting big nuts.
Thanks for all you do.
His name is Greg. Yes, nuts do not belong in dessert. Stop sprinkling nuts on my pudding, stop putting nuts in my brownies. And pecan pie is the exception to this, So don't email me about pecan pie. Pecan pie is the exception to this. Stop putting your nuts in dessert.
Stop. I love nuts.
I'm mister nut right. They don't belong to dessert. That's one two the best dessert's ever. I'll tell you what. My favorite one that Ob makes is. Well, she makes a couple that are really good. You know of you've had oatmeal cream pies, Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies before. Ob she makes them homemade from scratch, homemade oatmeal cream pies. When we have any kind of a big party, a big Christmas po already, a big whatever, one of those things where everyone brings a dish, she will bring the
oatmeal cream pie at cream pies. And now it is known in the neighborhood. Her omeal cream pies are famous everyone, kids and adults alike. They will descend on whatever tupperware she brings like a pack of wolves, and in two minutes it's the first thing gone. Every time they will wipe out the oatmeal cream pies. I have gotten to the point where I demand that she sets aside two or three for me to keep them back to the house, because I won't get.
One at the party.
I won't get one homemade oatmeal cream pies are amazing. She makes homemade banana pudding. Everyone listening in Georgia right now is gonna appreciate that, because Georgia has the best banana pudding I've ever had in my life. But homemade banana pudding that is dynamite, but the best thing in the world that she makes. It's a berry cobbler barry cobbler, only instead of the normal pie crust on top of it, it's a sugar cookie crust.
So it's a crust.
It just looks like a pie crust, but it's a little crunchier and it's got some sugar crystals in it. She makes that with homemade vanilla ice cream, and she pulls the cob out of the oven, and she's always like, you gotta wait, you're gonna bring your math again. But I can never wait. So I go and I scoop a couple things in and it's just liquid hot magma at this point. But then I take the homemade vanilla ice cream and I start dumping that on there and
it starts melting in. Oh my gosh, it's the best thing. It's gosh, it's the best thing I've ever had in my life. Dear turkey hating Oracle, you've gone total g hot after turkey dinner. I'm gonna get in to think you have gone coming on us. You're trying to single handedly destroy a great American tradition like the commedis are destroying everything else American. You've become just like the trannies who are forcing their garbage down our throats. What traditional
holiday will you try to destroy next? Her name is Colleen. No, I'm not trying to destroy Thanksgiving. I'm trying to help your Thanksgiving. I'm trying to aid your Thanksgiving. You see, you said you can improve on things that's allowed.
Jesse Sergeant Grease he here, retired law enforcement. Call him with an update and a question. Update is you had some advice about meeting the brand new boyfriend of my daughter. I did not follow your advice. I decided to go very easy on this guy and see if he'd fall for it. He did not. He was the appropriate amount of suck up without being obnoxious, and he brought me a bottle of my favorite sketch. So far, so good. But my question is I was in the Navy. There
were some really stupid guys. I worked with that thought they could get out of the Navy by breaking each other's legs. And their plan was, you break my leg and then afterwards I'll break your leg with this angle iron. What's the dumbest thing you ever saw one of your fellow marines do to try and get out of work or try to get out of the service.
Oh, oh boy, do I have one for you.
I've got one of those for you. I'll tell you that story in just a moment. Before I tell you that story, let me tell you about preborn. Let's do something. Let's do something good before we screw off for a couple minutes. Let's save a baby's life. Holiday season not holiday season. The babies are still in danger, they are still killed at a staggering rate in this country. Preborn, they save lives. They give these young mothers free ultrasounds.
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We'll be back get the cure for rhino.
It is the Jesse Kelly Show a Wednesday. Of course, it's an ass doctor Jesse Wednesday. So the guy asked a question in case you're just now joining us. He was in the Navy, saw some dudes trying to break each other's legs to get out of the Navy. Did I ever see anybody do something stupid like that in the Marines?
I did, as a matter of fact.
So every platoon, at least to my knowledge, every platoon has one or two guys who are complete and utter morons. It's just inevitable when you get that many people from that many different walks of life. You're gonna have some geniuses, you're gonna have some morons, you're gonna have the funny guy, you're gonna have You're just gonna have different people, but
morons on a level that it really is amazing. You don't fully appreciate how dumb some people are until you get forced into living with them for extended periods of time. And there was one in my weapons platoon. I was in first Battalion, seventh Marines, Alpha Company, Weapons Platoon. I am not going to name this individual, so for our purpose is now.
We'll just call him Chris. Chris was.
Honestly lazy, I don't think is really how I would describe it, just so stupid, Like you would tell him to do something basic. He would finish petee in the morning, and you would tell him go take a shower, and then it's your uniform, mom, we have things we need to do today, and you'd show up ten to fifteen minutes later, and he would just be sitting in his room, just staring at the wall, not showered, not anything, and you'd have to freak out and thrash him and make.
His life miserable.
And then he's just dumb, amazingly dumb, dumber than you can possibly imagine, and the worst at every single thing. No matter what we were doing, weapons wise or whatever, he couldn't do anything. Just really, honestly, they should have drummed him out of the Marines. He was so dumb and incapable of doing anything. Just a moron, and not not a terrible guy.
I need to know.
He was not like evil or something like that. Was just an idiot, just a total idiot. So nine to eleven happens. Remember I was already in the Marines of nine to eleven, I've been in for a year. Not long after, it was a while after, but little ways after, we end up deploying to Kuwait. And we all know it wasn't exactly a mystery. You knew if you were watching at home, you knew we were gonna declare war on Iraq. That's a reason they mobilized all these infratrue
units into Kuwait. Now we go to Kuwait, but we don't go to some official base or a barracks or something like that. They put us in the middle of some god forsaken strip of desert, and we put up these huge tents, tents that sleep one hundred, two hundred dudes put up these huge tents. We essentially made a tent city out there, and that's where we slept, and that's where we began training, really, really really hard training.
We always trained hard in the infantry anyway, but they took it up a notch big time because they're trying to put the finishing touches on combat. So you're doing gas mask runs and just all kinds of crap. As we're getting ready to shove off. We know we're getting ready to shove off. They gave us a pen of adrenaline. I forget what the EpiPen type thing.
And this was.
Because they thought Saddam Hussein was going to gas us. He had very publicly threatened to gas us. We were actually doing a shoot once in Kuwait and we were told we were getting gassed. It turned out to be a false alarm, but we had to pull out our gas masks. Getting gassed was an extremely real threat for us. We were always wearing our mop gear that's your gas mask gear, you know, pants and jacket, things like that mop gear, and this moron was all so it turns
out a complete coward. He did not want to go to combat, which is understandable. I mean totally get not wanting to go to combat, but you can't check it out on your buddies. He didn't look at it that way. He takes this pen. The pen was given to us. Sorry if I didn't clarify this. In case you get gassed. If you've ever seen the movie The Rock, you have a pretty good understandingstanding of how it goes.
You inject yourself with this pen.
It'll keep you alive through Eric can keep you alive, depending on how bad the gassing is. This moron goes down to the poor to John's one day, pulls out his pen and sticks himself with it so he doesn't have to go to combat. Essentially tries to create a medical emergency for himself so he gets kicked out and doesn't have to go.
And here's the best.
Part of the entire thing. He had something hard in his pocket. You have a pocket on his trousers on the outside of his leg, like cargo pants. He had something in there. I forget what it was, a book or there was something hard in there. He tries to stab himself and accidentally stabs the hard thing in the side of his leg. He fails to stab himself. All he ends up doing is bending the needle tip of the EpiPen thing, the adrenaline pen thing. All he got
was thrashed for the whole thing. He didn't get kicked out, he didn't create a medical emergency. He did do push ups until he vomited all over himself, and that's all he got for the entire thing. Yes, I've seen some very dumb people do some very very dumb things. So, speaking of which, somebody's angry with Utah. He's in Utah and he's angry with Utah. To talk him off the ledge in just a moment. Hang on is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday, Reminding you you can email
the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com. Leave us a voicemail eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three. Let's get to them, shall we, Oracle, The Mormons of Utah are far too trusting of any Mormon Republican who runs for office. They will always just vote for whichever Mormon has the more recognizable last name. It blows me away. We end up with losers. Like Romney or Romney, Curtis and Cox. That actually sounds like a
law firm. We're the most religious state in the freaking Union, and our government clarified that he goes by he him. Will you please rebuke us utahns. I don't think he said that right on air, Love Your Show. My wife hates it though, because she says it's exactly like listening to me. His name is Marshall. Okay, I spend enough time rebuking GOP primary voters in red states. I don't
need to single out Utah. But Utah is just as guilty, right, the exact same thing we do in Texas and Dakota that they.
Do the same thing.
But let's talk about that because you made it kind of about a Mormon thing, and that's that's obviously it's somewhat fair. But let me explain everyone knows, not exactly a mystery that Mormon is or LDS.
Utah is central casting for that.
That is where they settle down. That is the LDS capital of the country. And it's very very powerful. The Mormon Church is very powerful, very influential in the state of Utah. And I've had a lot of people, including a lot of LDS people email and complaining that that's all they believe, or that's all that's the only seal of approval they need. The second they feel like the Mormon Church gives their thumbs up on somebody, then for a lot of.
Them, they'll just go vote that way. Period.
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna dispute that, okay, but I will say there is no ability in life, whatever field you're in, politics, doesn't matter what it is, there is no ability like relatability, none whatsoever. It is a human nature thing. It's not unique to Utah or Mormons, or Christians, or Jews, or Whites or Blacks or Mexicans, or it is a universal thing across the globe, across the span of time. People want they want to feel like they know you. They want to feel like you
know them. You know why Donald Trump is so good at retail politics? Retail politics? Why is he so good at it? What makes him so good at it? Because when Donald trum walks into McDonald's and orders a big mac or whatever he orders for McDonald's, not only does he do that because he genuinely likes McDonald's. You look at this guy, this New York billionaire, always in a suit and tie.
And you think he eats.
What I eat. I eat McDonald's Trump beats McDonald's UFC. Maybe you watch UFC, maybe you don't.
I like it.
I'm not obsessed with it, but I'm liking it more and more and more. But Donald Trump goes to these fights. He goes to these big fights. What other politician does that? And maybe you can say I don't care about that, Yes I understand, but hear me out. You tell blue collar guy, UFC's bass is blue caller dudes. And I know there are rich dudes who watch it and women who watch it, but that's their main base is blue
collar dudes. When you walk into that one blue collar guy's watching UFC, even if he's not political or whatever. And he sees Donald Trump come and sit right by the ring and be into it and cheer and whatnot. He looks at that and thinks, that guy knows me at least a little bit. He likes what I like. I like watching the fights. Donald Trump likes watching the fights, and it feels real to him. He gets closer to
Trump in that moment. It's part of what doomed Dome unless you're a blind, drunk wine mom on anti anxiety medication. There's nothing about Dome that most normal people find relatable. She comes off like a far left valley girl. That's a very, very slim portion of the population. Back to Utah. You say you're angry because the Mormons in Utah will go out and vote for whoever they feel has the approval of the Mormon Church. That's fair. It happens Christians
will do this exact same thing too. I don't know Chris will have to testify to this one. I'm sure Jewish people do the exact same too, because they find it relatable. It's an understand thing, but it is something we all have to guard against. Think about this well. To think about this, think for a moment of how many Chris said, yes, you just do too. Think how many black people were absolutely burned because they voted for Barack Obama. Now there were a ton of black people.
He for an understandable reason. He just dominated the black vote. Because the black voter in the United States of America. Maybe that's you had never in his lifetime had a chance to vote for a black person for president. Now, if you're not black, that sounds ridiculous to you.
Why would you.
Vote for some street communists just because of the color of his skin.
And I have echoed those words. I agree.
I think that's crazy, But I still totally get it. If you grew up black in this country and you've never, ever, ever had the chance to vote one time for a black president and finding that opportunity presents itself to you, and let's say you're not heavily political, you don't really care about policy or really understand it, You're just a normal black person, and that opportunity presents itself, I can
totally get why people would jump on that opportunity. Then, but think about this, Think about what it did to them. Barack Obama crushed the black community. The black community didn't really revitalize until Donald Trump took over, deregulated the economy, he stopped the flow of illegal immigration, record low black unemployment. The black community got a huge boost from Donald Trump, but voting based on relatability torched the black community.
In this country.
So that's a lesson not for black people, it's a lesson for all of us. It's a lesson for the Christians, it's a lesson for the Mormons, the whites, the blacks, the women. The lesson for all of us, be very very careful voting based on the guy who talks like you, walks like you, eats what you eat, enjoys what you do, because oftentimes he's pretending, and oftentimes that's a wolf in sheep's clothing.
You know.
Selena Zito said something last night. She was talking about why Bob Casey. In case you missed it, it was a fascinating interview last night at a few of them. Go download the podcast. iHeart Spotify iTunes. But she was talking about why Bob Casey lost his Senate race in Pennsylvania. And I've heard this exact tale many times before when an incumbent loses. She said, he stopped being seen out there. And she mentioned, you know ribbon cutting ceremonies. Well, this
is what happens. Politicians stop caring about being relatable because they've been in power so long they don't think they have to anymore. But it tells you how they manipulate us, doesn't it, Because when you are United States senator, you do need to go to the new ribbon cutting ceremony. If there's a Veterans Day thing Yeah, you might want
to go spend it with your family. You know, you have to make three different stops at different Veterans Day events because you have to be seen at the Veterans Day thing. You your entire life has to be about pretending to care about things you probably don't care about. Politicians lie all the time. That relatability thing has burned many, many, many people clear back to Utah. Now we're stuck with that scumbag Curtis. You know Curtis, new senator from Utah.
You know he was the rumors are he was the one who torpedoed the Matt Gates nomination, the reason you're not going to have Matt Gates as ag. Yeah, we lost Murkowski and Collins, but Curtis from Blood Red Utah said, who I don't like that.
Again. We've got to get past the relatability thing. All of us do.
It's a very human nature thing. All right, let's talk about moving to Montana. Somebody lost their temper having a political conversation and needs some advice. We'll talk about that. Before we talk about that, let's talk about chalk. I love talking about chalk, except you know how I take that choc lip powder every morning.
Every morning.
It's this amazing powder that has all the vitamins and minerals you need. And Ob she always makes us a super food smoothie in the morning. I just kind of been going barbarian because OB's been out of town till today. I've just been mixing it up with water and chugging it.
It's not bad. It's really not bad. Chris. It's not that bad. Really, it's not. It doesn't matter. I feel good. I just mix up some water.
Chug it.
Boom Attrician for the day.
You know, they're having a huge Black Friday special for Chalk all the natural herbal supplements, massive discount on subscriptions during the month of November, plus a free fifty dollars bonus product on your first delivery c hoq dot Com promo code Jesse. Get some choc litpowder in your life. Start out every day with it. You'll feel so much better.
We'll be back the CLI.
Is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday, and let's dig back into these things. Somebody got in a little bit of a tiff with family and friends. Hey, Jesse, I'm in Arizona for the holiday. My parents and I are sitting around the kitchen table eating lunch. The conversation turns of politics. I start by saying democrats are evil demons, and my dad starts it on Trump. It ends with both of us raising our voices and me shouting at my dad to get your head out of your beep.
I'm having trouble with being a pervasive or person persuasive voice for truth. I have the facts in my head, but when the yelling starts, I lose it. I get so upset and I end up cursing and yelling. I know that by doing so, I'm just working against the righteous cause. I've always been an introvert. I've always been to one to let the normies say what they want.
Why quietly sit in the corner and roll my eyes. Though, now, after being inspired by you to stand up and speak truth and push back against the nonsense nonsense, I find myself frothing and spitting like a madman. Do you have any advice?
All right?
So, first, I'm glad you've chosen to speak up. For way, way too long, we allow the communists to be the aggressor and social situations, and that's really important that we remember. That's really important that you don't let that happen. It's not a small thing, because we have a social shame system. Every culture does the social shame system, where people decide
what behaviors, what ideas are acceptable and unacceptable. And for so long, because the communist was the only aggressor, we rolled our eyes and muttered things under our breath, and he's over there screaming and yelling about how much he loves open borders. He was the one deciding what the social shame system would be. It's the one who speaks up who decides that. So you can't let him do that anymore. Stop being quiet, Stop rolling your eyes. He is the one who should be ashamed. He's the one
with evil, demonic views. He's the one wanting to flood the country with murderers and rapists. You don't have to be quiet. He should be quiet. However, when you argue with communists, when you debate them, and I've done so many, many many times before, it's really really critical for you to keep calm for a couple different reasons. One, I've done a lot of very terrible things in my life, and I don't want to call them mistakes. When I call them mistakes. It makes it sound like I'm making
an excuse for terrible things I consciously did. And almost every mistake I've ever made, every horrible thing I've done, or a bad thing I've said, has come when I'm either angry or drunk. Almost every single one of them. I could go down the list. I was mad, I was drunk. I was mad, I was drunk, I was mad.
So I've learned in my forty three years, although I certainly have not perfected this, that I should really avoid both of those states, that I will do far fewer bad things if I stay calm and I stay sober. I'm not trying to be your priest. I'm just telling you for me personally, that's what I've discovered.
About me in my life.
But it's not just that the Communists. Remember, but I say something, get mad at me, You're probably gonna wonder what happened to Jesse. He still is a flesh and blood human being. He's just very, very lost. He's lost for a variety of reasons. He has lost his mind. He now pushes a really, really horrible, destructive religion, and we want him to come home right. We don't want him to be lost and you maybe you've got a member of your family, maybe it's a daughter, a mom,
a dad. This guy's arguing with his dad and dad is lost. Dad is gonna get mad, and you don't have to sit there quietly. You can argue with dad. But when he loses his mind and he starts screaming and yelling and your daughter's yelling at you, you can argue back, and you should argue back. But if you lose your temper, you're not going to bring him back. You can logically shoot down and should shoot down the ridiculous,
demonic ideas while staying completely calm. I have found in my personal life whenever I encounter a communist at a party, neighborhood, anywhere, that this is an extremely effective way, if not convincing them, at least getting them to shut up. I told you about that one conversation I had. A dude was actually Canadian, and he was this big commie and he loved to run his freaking mouth. And the second he walked into the party, he started running his mouth about politics, and
all my neighbors are getting giddy. They're like, oh, we got to get him a Jesse, we gotta get in a jesse. They're just giddy with excitement about watching me go in on this guy. And he sat down and started arguing about gun confiscating, confiscation. I didn't want to argue, but he decided he wanted to go all in on it. And of course he started yelling and raising his voice and losing his mind. And I just sat there the entire time, and I wouldn't let him get off subject.
He tries to do that. It's a tactic. They try to get you off subject. That's something that's stupid, not like you would say. And if you let him get to you, I'm not a Nazi. I get you just lost the argument. Nope, nope, you're not gonna reframe the argument. You're not gonna get me off course. That would set the Nazi stuff aside for a moment. You just said, gun confiscated. Let's go back to what you said. No, no, no, stay a comp nope, stay on subject. No no, don't
no name coalp Nope, you're screaming and yelling. That's not gonna you stay right there. By the time we were done talking, I didn't turn him into some bloodthirsty right winger, of course not. But by the time we were done talking, he was so exasperated by the fact that I calmly shot down every one of his moronic arguments that you just kind of you could just see how deflated he was. He just kind of shrugged his shoulders. The emotions, the emotions they run off of. Oftentimes it's a tactic to
throw you off and get you emotional. If he can get you emotional, if he can get you screaming and yelling, then he has you off topic. If you stay calm and think, don't get offended, he's going to insult you. He's going to call you a name, your liberal aunt Peggy, is going to insult your intelligence, your morality, your whatever. This is a tactic that is done on purpose. If you let it get to you, you will not win the argument. You may not lose, but you will not win.
When you allow them to get to your emotions, you are allowing them to reframe the argument and move you off of something. So when you're having an argument with people and they tell you just want to close the border because you're a racist nazi who reminds them of Adolf Hitler, if you get offended and raise your voice, you're going to lose. If you just ignore that and brush it aside and stay on topic, you will win.
I hope that hell.
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