The Kelly Show. Let's have some fun on a Wednesday. It's home Day.
And I know what you're thinking, it's been the best week ever because you've been here Jesse and I have great news for you. I'm here again tonight. In fact, I'm in such a good mood. We're gonna talk about some good things to open up the show. There's all kinds of ugliness out there, not just Chris. Nancy Pelosi's in the news. There's a dirty communist in New York trying to grab all your guns.
We have emails.
We're gonna talk about world domination, watermelon, Kamala Harris isn't running for office, the apparently aliens actually exist.
All that and so much more.
It's coming up tonight on the world famous Jesse Kelly's Show. I want to I want to begin here, and actually I've done this before. It's not all the time by any means, but I've done this before, and sometimes I feel I feel obligated to do this. I feel obligated to point out some things are really good. And I know when it comes political people are all like this. You should know me, even the dirty commies. But will set them aside because they're not really human beings. We'll
just talk about you and me. You care about politics because you understand power matters.
It does.
It's not about politics, it's about power, Who holds power, who pushes what, who stops what? It's really really important for a country, for a state, for your city, for your family.
It does matter.
And because it matters a lot, all of us, most definitely me, probably you two, we criticize, and we should. I'm not saying we shouldn't. Believe me, all the dirt balls involved in politics, they all deserve criticism. From time to time. We are critical of it because it is so important.
And if you're being.
Honest, if I'm being honest, we do that in our own personal lives, don't we. When when something's really really really important, like where you're going to eat for dinner, you will critique what Chris, You will critique what people say. You will critique things that matter a lot. And so when Senator Idiots does or says something wrong, even if he's quote on our side, you'll criticize. When Trump says does something wrong, maybe something you don't agree with, you'll criticize,
all criticize. And I'm not saying we shouldn't do that. But let's just pause for a moment and think about some good things, Because it wasn't that long ago. We had a president who had dementia, and he was not a functional adult. And whenever they brought him out, whenever they dosed him with enough amphetamines, probably gave him a line of booger sugar and ruled him out to a press conference. It wasn't just that he was bad. He
embarrassed us in front of the entire world. How many times did you and I have that talk when Joe Biden was president. I'm embarrassed, you're embarrassed. America means something to me. It has a deep, deep meaning to me,
It has a deep meaning to you. And when the president is uh, where's Jackie the congresswoman who just died two weeks earlier, the whole world watches never they were doing skits in Saudi Arabia, in Italy, we got made fun of by the freaking Italians about the president has dementia. They were mocking us on the world stage. That wasn't long ago. It's July. That wasn't long ago. It wasn't long ago that fourteen thousand Haitians. Remember, Haiti's the biggest
stump on the planet. Maybe Somalia and Haiti could have a have a head to head in that one. Probably throw in Afghanistan, maybe Yemen. We could do a final four, Chris, we should do that. We would offend everybody. We could do like a final Let's do that. Corey's a sports guy, will do like a March Madness bracket for the crappiest countries on the planet.
Anyway, don't get me distracted.
Fourteen thousand Haitians arrived at our border.
They wanted in.
The Biden administration tried to censor the media from saying they were there. And after it was two or three days, I forget what it was. We all woke up and they were.
Gone.
But they didn't go home. They weren't back eating each other in Haiti. The Biden administration let them all into our country, every one of them. It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't that long ago. We had a president stand up on camera and threatened the American people. Threatened you with your job, threatened me, most definitely threatened me, no question about it. Get vaccinated or get fired. An unbelievable step not long ago. Today, it ain't bad.
August versus a very big day for this country because money is going to pour into the United States like we've never seen before.
Today, it ain't bad.
Well, we've got a stronger than expected GDP number three percent for the second quarter initial read. That's up from a half percent in the first quarter. The two point six percent was what was forecasting.
Trump administration sets a new record for illegal alien prosecutions. US economy, as you just heard, grew at three percent rate in Q two, better than expected pace it was not long ago. Let's let's not be prisoners of the moment.
I tend to be.
I'm most definitely pointing fingers at me. Let's not be prisoners of the moment and always just point out what we don't like right now. And I know there are things you don't like, there are things I don't like. We talk about it all the time. Isn't it so much better now? Let's say let's say let's say you are a die hard Trump hater. I get that there are people all over I get that. I don't I don't care. I don't know the guy you love him, marying him. It doesn't matter to me. I like him,
but you don't like him. I don't care, not your dad. Let's say you hate his Scotts. Everything he does is stupid. He's a bombastic, he's a but whatever, Okay, I got I got it. What if I just gave you all that? But what if I said this? Donald Trump works like eighteen nineteen hours a day on behalf of America. Isn't that so much better than what we had President cadaver drooling on himself, falling off his bike, tripping on stage, stumbling, mumbling, bumbling.
I just sounded like Chris Berman on ESPN. That was sweet, stumbling all over the play? What Chris, don't you know? Do you not know who Chris Berman is? What kind of a childhood did you have? What is wrong with you?
He was? You know what?
Nevermind, We're not gonna I don't have time for Chris. Chris will bring me down. I'm trying to be up right now. I'm trying to be up and I'm not gonna let Jewish producer Chris bring me down. We just got over the worst four years in presidential history. Even if you think Donald Trump sucks in every possible way, even if you think he's the worst thing ever. Fine, don't care. Think that all you want. That's fine. It's so much better than it was. And on I know
it'll sound hoky. Note, don't you feel the patriotism more in the country. You feel it, don't you. It's more obvious now. People feel more free to express it is the best way, I'll say, than they did before. I'm not talking about you. I know you expressed it loudly and proudly for four years while we had those filthy communists running the country.
I'm not talking about you.
Normal Americans who go whichever way the wind blows. They're super susceptible to societal pressures all over the place.
Norman Norma.
They feel more comfortable now throwing on an American flag talking about how great the country is and it's better now. Everything isn't fixed, and everything won't be, not tomorrow, not next year, not on the day you die, whenever that is. You can't fix everything on this planet. It ain't perfect, it ain't all fixed. It's so much better than what we had. Feel good about that, all right, Feel really really good about that, and feel good about something else.
Nancy Pelosi. This whole insider trading in Congress might be going away soon. We'll talk about that in a moment The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful Wednesday, a hump day. Don't get mad at me for being in a good mood. I can't help it. I'm in a good mood before Chris brings me down. I'm gonna transfer my good mood over to you. We all know Chris will drag us down eventually. Remember you can email the show love hey, death threats Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com and we
will chop away at a bunch of those tonight. So they've been working on the Pelosi Act, which is a hilarious name for the act. The Pelosi Act is no more inside or trading. Trump touched on the insider trading Nancy Pelosi thing today.
No, Nancy Pelosi became rich by having inside information. She made a fortune with her husband, and I think that's disgraceful. So in that sense, I'd like it, but I'd have to really see the you know, I study these things very carefully, and this just happened, so I'll take a look at it. But conceptually I like it, And what I do think is Nancy Pelosi should be investigated because what she has the highest return of anybody practically in the history of Wall Street save a few. And how
did that happen. It happened by she knows exactly what's going to happen, what's going to be announced, you by stock, and then the stock goes up after the announcements met, and she hare to be investigated.
Is of course right.
And let's just clarify for those who don't understand why and how it's a crime the stock market that's publicly traded companies. Publicly traded companies, you me, we have just as much of a right to buy, to invest in publicly traded companies as Warren Buffett, you know, as anybody. Now, we don't have quite the same buying power, but we
have just as much of a right. And even mister insider himself, Warren Buffett, because it's supposed to be publicly accessible, even Warren Buffett does not get to get information you don't have access to and use it. He doesn't get to get a call it could it could be from his brother.
And I realize I'm not naive, I understand this stuff happens. He doesn't get a call from his brother I don't even know if he has a brother. Wherea his brother calls and says, hey.
Uh, red Lobsters about to go gangbusters. They're bringing back all you can eat shrimp. Might want to buy now, And then he goes out and he buys a thousand shares of Red Lobster. The day before they make the announcement, the stock goes up. He makes money. That's against the law, that's illegal. Nancy Pelosi, and she's not alone. I realized we have fun dunking on Grandma vodka. Nancy Pelosi's been doing this out in the open for years. Republicans do it too. It's not just a list of Democrats, by
the way. Republicans do it too, out in the open for years, beating the best people on the market. And there's never an explanation, because there's only one explanation. The explanation is I knew Congress was going to announce this. I knew this law was going to be announced, this regulation was going to be announced, and so AH moved a little bit of money around and look at that, I made millions. It's this has been a frustration to mine for a long time. You've heard me talk about
this before that. In the federal government it's different, and that so much of the open corruption is legal, whereas state and local government the corruption is illegal. Meaning local corruption is the local city councilman taking an envelope full of cash, the local mayor taking an envelope full of cash to funnel a construction project to a guy who gave him the money. You know, the standard bribery, pay for play political stuff.
You get all that.
How many mayors, well basically everybody who's ever been elected in Illinois and New Jersey. How many people are in jail for stuff like that?
A lot?
But in the federal government, Our federal government has been so cancerous for so long, just a sickness running through it for so long, that they've found a way to legalize their corruption. Look, that's really what pork spending is. It's buying votes with your money. I know every Senator loves it, and every every member of the House loves it, Republican and Democrat.
Not every member, I'm overstating that.
But they love taking fifty million dollars in federal taxpayer money, your money, and going and building a new public park with that money. And there's only one reason you're doing that. It's not because they give a crap about the public park. They're doing that to buy votes. That's that's naked corruption.
That's legal. It's not illegal.
Nancy Pelosi and her type, they've been openly corrupt for a long time. I did get a little snicker out of this little interview she did with Jake Tapper on the subject.
And Nancy, I might have to read that we're here to talk about the sixtieth anniversary of Medicaid. That's what I agreed to come to talk. Yeah, but I want that means in the election.
I want to to give you a chances to respond. He accused you of insider trading. What's your response to that?
That's very ridiculous. In fact, I very much support the stop the trading of members of Congos, not that I think anybody's doing anything wrong. If they are, they are prosecuted and they go to jail. But because of the confidency, it stills in American people don't worry about this. But I have no concern about the obvious investments. So it had been made over time. I'm not into it, my husband is, but it isn't anything to do with anything insider I love that.
I'm not into it. My husband is, Oh, what's that? Did he make a lot of money? Wow? I can't believe that. I wonder how he came across that information.
Anyway, there are good things happening, man, really really good things we should celebrate. We do an email work quick, Jesse. I live in northern New Jersey, New York date Border. A recent conversation I had with one of my liberal neighbors indicates that the only thing Democrats are concerned about is the Epstein stuff. CNN has them convinced Trump was involved with whatever Epstein was up to. However, when you bring up to Clinton's involvement, they don't want to hear
about it. Okay, guys said, it was actually a good conversation, so on and so forth.
So why is it that the liberal.
Ant Peggy in your life is all of a sudden really really worried about this Epstein stuff. Why is that let's talk about it in a moment. We haven't had this talk in a little while. But the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Wednesday, And actually I completely forgot about this, and I owe this. I owe Jewish producer Chris for this one, because he's the one who reminded me tomorrow. Ask doctor Jesse, Thursday, can't be here Friday. Not my fault, ah half my fault, not my fault.
Can't be here Friday. You need to get your ask doctor Jesse questions in.
Now for tomorrow.
All three hours belong to you Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com.
So why is it?
Why is it that the talking point of the Democrat in your life is now Epstein, this Epstein, that Epstein, this Epstein that.
Why is it?
Well, we have to let's let's rewind a little bit here and let's let's have a discussion. And this is a hard one to have because we hate this. I hate it and you do. We are not all lovers of freedom. That is one of the biggest lies people on the right tell themselves about humanity. We have a passion you and I for being free. The constitution and rights and government shouldn't be able to make you do this.
And I'm there with you. I'm there with you. And because it's so obvious to us that that is a better way to live, we think that is universal.
Some people just maybe they don't realize it. Yet.
But don't you understand, don't you want to be free? Do I need to remind you about the story of so many slaves throughout history? No, Pompy Magnus is actually one of my favorite examples of this. Slavery for you is abhorrent. Isn't it that the thought of owning a slave? I would hope you're not. I would hope you don't want that. The thought of being one, though, doesn't that just turn your stomach? Being a slave, you don't have any rights. You go where you're told, you're fed what
you're fed, You sleep where you're hold of sleep. You have nothing except what you're given and what you're told. It's not only horrible sounding to you, I would be willing to bet that you have a hard time understanding why anyone on earth would prefer that. Maybe you even deny anyone on earth would prefer that. No one wants to be a slave. Pompy Magnus incredible Roman general. He's only he's only remembered for the end when Julius Caesar
beat the living crap out of him. But Julius Caesar beat the living crap out of a lot of people, losing a battle to Julius Caesar is not exactly a mark of shame. So Pompy Magnus finds himself on the run, trying to figure out how to cobble together another army for resistance to Caesar. Gets down to Egypt, which was essentially a Roman province at this time, the bread basket of Rome. Pompy Magnus gets on a little boat with him his slave. Remember that Pompy Magnus owns this man.
This man, his slave, has no rights. He doesn't get to ever go to Pompy Magnus and.
Say, hey, you know, I'll my kid has.
A concert this Friday night, and I promised her I would attend.
Is it okay? No, no, no no.
He doesn't get Christmas off, he doesn't get to he doesn't get wages. He eats what he's told to eat, says what he's told to say, lives where he's told to live.
A slave.
Pompy Magnus gets to shore the Egyptians to curry favor with Julius Caesar promptly stab him to death, kill him right in front of his slave. His slave does not drop to his knees and thank the Egyptians. He doesn't run away cheering whoo free Live. Yes, he throws himself on Pompy Magnus's body in weeps that his master is gone. The biggest lie people on the right tell themselves is that everyone wants to be free. It's not true at all,
have you ever, Let's use another example here. As long as we're going off on a tangent, you obviously know at least a little bit about the westward expansion of America. I'm talking covered wagons, braven the sun and the winter, and hostile Indians and Mexicans and everything else that was a danger back then when you were going out west, bandits, you name it.
But everyone didn't go.
And maybe you can say, well, just a lot of poor people went. No, All kinds of poor people living in unimaginable filth in cities across the eastern seaboard stayed right where they were. The crew Chris is already saying, why, well, it's easy.
It's not nice, it's not lovely.
You're gonna die of cholera at eighteen, But until then, you know where you're sleeping. That night you want to stand, you can pop down to the local church and get a bowl of soup for dinner.
You'll be hungry. You won't starve out west.
Man, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna burn to death in the sun. No thanks, Not everybody wants to be free. The liberal aunt Peggy in your life, the Democrat in your life. They didn't mention Jeffrey Epstein's name for four years while Joe Biden was president. Now they talk about it all the time. Why is their slaves? They have chosen to become slaves. They listen to Democrat politicians, They listen to four or five major network news channels. They've
selected two, three, four completely communist websites. They understand there are more news channels. They understand there are different podcasts and radio shows. They understand there are all kinds of different places on the Internet where they can get their information. They have chosen to isolate themselves, not because they don't
know other things aren't available. They've chosen to isolate themselves because if I just stay with CNN and I just listen to Chuck Schumer and I just do what I'm told by two or three sources, that I am guaranteed to be part of the herd at all times. Why is your liberal and Peggy talk about you, Juffree Epstein now and never did before.
Here's why.
Under federal law, when any five Senators on the Homeland Security and Government Affairs Committee call on the Executive Branch to release investigative documents, they must comply. Our request covers all documents, files, evidence, or other materials in the possession of the Department of Justice or the FBI related to
the case of United States versus Jeffrey Epstein. This includes records and documents related to Epstein and his clients, while ensuring that the private information of any victims is protected. We expect the Trump administration to provide these documents by August the fifteenth.
And let's be honest, if you have a different mentality, then you do within reason. I understand there are really really awful forms of slavery that nobody would want to live in. But there are people who would just prefer that life.
Don't you know.
People in your life who would prefer that life. Let me ask you, have you ever have you ever known someone or maybe it's your child who still lives at home and not just still lives at home because they have to. I understand that's people's lot. In life now, especially as things are more expensive. But lives at home and youn't even really looking for a job. Chris is nod in his head. You know people like that, don't
you why I could never stomach it. It would eat at me to be a failure, to never try to achieve anything. It would it would eat it me. Not everybody's built like you. Democrats, communists are heard animals. And you make a mistake when you think they want to be free. They don't want to be free. They want to be fed. And those are very different things. Hey, Chris, write that down. That was brilliant. They even Chris I had to admit that was good. They don't want to
be free, they want to be fed. Gosh, I might say that ten times during the show. Everybody write that down the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful Wednesday. And so the piggybacking on what we just said about how some people want to be slaves. And that's why that's why the liberal and Peggy in your life wants to you know, she believes that Jeffrey Epstein's the most important thing in the world when she never mentioned it before.
These are all the exact same people who never heard about, never cared about, didn't know anything about George Floyd of Minneapolis, and soon they were out there attending one of his funerals. These are the same people who dropped him like a bad habit the second Russia invaded Ukraine and the media told them Ukraine was the next important thing. And you might as well stop being getting frustrated, because I'm gonna
go ahead and spoil this for you. The liberal ant Peggy in your life, whoever that person happens to be employer, employee, sister, mom son, brother, whatever. I don't know what the next talking point will be. The system will find a talking point in the liberal and Peggy in your life in the drop of a hat will drop all this Epstein stuff and immediately began talking about what's next. And communists know this, the Democrats, the media, the system knows this.
Have you have you ever.
Thought to yourself, because I know I thought this to myself. When these people are all saying the same thing, you know you'll turn turn on CNN and they're saying the same thing that Chuck Schumer's saying. Who's saying the same thing that AOC is saying, Who's saying the same thing. They're all saying the same thing, the same talking point, all of it, all of it. Have you ever wondered why don't these people care that we're all making fun of them? I mean, how many montages have we put
together and other people put together? I mean the great people will put together montages Tom Elliott and May's and all the people put together the greatest stuff, mocking these people relentlessly. They see that too. These people have huge ears, they're hugely insecure people. They see that too. Yet they don't change. Nobody likes to be made fun of. They know you're going to see it. They know someone's gonna
put together a montage of it. They know we're gonna play it on the world famous Jesse Kelly Show, and they'll be mocked coast to coast. And yet they don't change. Why Because it works on a certain percentage of the population. Now that's what we're actually gonna get on that here in just a few minutes, that percentage of the population.
But on a certain percentage of the population, which was much higher a few years ago, but a certain percentage of the population will believe whatever the new system talking point is, and they know it. They are willing to withstand your mockery. They're willing to let you and me get together and laugh in their stupid faces because they understand, at least a certain percentage of the population.
We'll believe it.
It's worth the mockery to them. And along these lines, I've told you I'm in a great mood. Trump is suing the Wall Street Journal. You may remember it wasn't big. I told you this was coming, by the way, but I told you that Trump knew someone had planted some Epstein's stuff on him. He knew that someone had planted something, and he knew it was about to be leaked to the media. I told you this about twenty four hours before it happened. Of course, the old Oracle got that
one right, didn't he. Chris, Do we need to play it again? No, you can't find that file anyway. Anyone remembers anyway, Chris. But I told you it was coming, and of course it happened in The Wall Street Journal printed a ridiculous thing.
It was a.
Letter that Trump allegedly sent to Epstein on his birthday, which okay, they worked together for a while. Maybe you and I would believe that except it didn't sound like Trump at all, and he's doodling on it. Trump is never doodled on anything to anyone's knowledge in his entire life. It didn't It was so weak that even most of the left didn't really run with it. But the Wall Street Journal did well in the old days before Trump, actually before Trump two point oh, because Trump one point
oh wouldn't have done this either. In the old days, Republicans would have complained. They would have went to shows like this one or put out a public statement this is unfair, this is biased, this is this, this is that, and then they would have let it go. Well, again, that doesn't move the communist. The communist is only moved by fear and pain. If you want to dissuade the communist, you have to make him afraid or hurt him in some way, not physically. Don't break the law, and don't
hurt anybody, please, But you understand what I mean. Accusations of dishonesty or bias or hypocrisy or any of those things have never moved a communist and never will. He's trying to be those things. Those don't bother him. You know what does bother him? Having to fork over millions and millions of dollars. Donald Trump has made the GOP here you go, Chris ready more litigious, Chris, that's a big word. I would like some more respect for using that word. We're very litigious.
Now.
Trump continues to sue media companies who tell outright lies, and allegedly this is what we hear right now, Wall Street Journal has offered to settle the lawsuit. Already Donald Trump's suing them. Wall Street Journal allegedly this is according to The Daily Fetched has already said, hey, we'll write your check. Let's just write your check. Why does this matter? What does this have to do with the world of make believe? Your liberal and Peggy lives in. Well, remember
that world has to be maintained at all times. That fake world she lives in always needs a fresh coat of paint, It always needs a new This A knew that it has to be carefully maintained at all times. If the media starts getting too afraid to tell outright lies because they don't want to write gigantic.
Checks, we're winning.
We have not won. I'm not saying that we're winning and it's a very good thing. All right, Let's talk about those percentages. Shall we and we have to have a heartfelt conversation about watermelon and immigration before we do that. I want to have a heartfelt conversation about our pets. I talk to you all the time about rough Greens. You know what it can do for your dog. I've told you what it can do for Fred, what it
has done for Fred. We kept the paper towel industry in business for a while because Fred's stomach just didn't do well with anything. I say, didn't do well with that. With dog food, it didn't do well with anything. You feed them a banana and it's coming back. Rough Greens has digestive enzymes and probiotics in it, on top of the vitamins and minerals. And Fred keeps everything down now, even the vegetables. The boys slip him under the table.
But they also have miogreens for your cat. Don't think that you cat people are left out just because you're weird. Rough Greens has something for you. Free jumpstart trial bags for dog owners cat owners. All you have to do is cover the shipping rofgreens dot com promo code Jesse or call them two one four Rough Dog promo code Jesse. Keep your pet alive. Let's talk about the rear admiral. Let's talk about percentages. Let's talk about watermelon next.