This is a podcast from woor.
It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Another hour of The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful hump day, and I am just so exciting about everything going on right now. Freedom is not free. And now it's time to pause all the politics in the Ukraine and the tariffs and they're tearing down the air, the Amazon rainforest and everything else going on, because well, now it's time for our
third and final installment of the Crimean War. If you missed the first two, go download yesterday's podcast of the day beforehand iHeart Spotify iTunes, where we're just talking about the war that nobody seems to know anything about, but we thought it would be uniquely beneficial to have some idea of the history of that region, the northern part of the Black Sea, the Crimean region, Sevastopol, these these resource rich areas, Russia and their warm water fleet, the Black Fleet.
Let's talk about it.
So again, I'm not going to recap it all for you. I can't possibly do that. But the one minute version is Russia. This is the middle of the eighteen hundreds eighteen fifties, Russia. Czar decides this Ottoman Empire. They're kind of old and brittle. I think I'll take Constantinople. Britain, France. They don't want Russia to take Constantinople, and the Ottomans,
of course don't want Russia to take Constantinople. So they sail this huge force down up the Dardanelles past Constantinople Istanbul, and now they are currently laying siege to the city that is still very much there, Sevastopol. The French are separate from the British, even though they're fighting on the same side. They're entrenched outside of the city. We're talking civil war type weapons to give you a frame of reference, muskets, bayonets, cannons,
things like that, and it's ugly fighting. I told you yesterday about the charge of the Light Brigade. The Russians kept sallying forth to attack. During one attack, they attacked in the fog, and there are fascinating accounts you can go read the letters today of the Brits were sitting there. They thought they heard something, but they couldn't really tell. And from the dense fog emerged lines of Russian troops with bayonets attached, and people start dying in sword fights
and bayonet fights. How dysfunctional is it. The French army actually during this attack says, hey, you want us to come help, and the Brits are.
All, no, we don't want your help. Again.
The French and the Brits they don't care for each other much, that kind of thing. The French actually did jump in anyway without permission. But the situation is ugly. It's a siege. It's a long siege, and sieges are ugly things. So let's discuss the situation on both sides at this point.
Hand hint.
At this point, the Russians are supplied quite well. You know, I told you, Remember I told you Tolstoy, the guy who wrote the book War in Piece. Everyone's heard of the book. I've never read it, so don't feel like some kind of dummy if you've never read it. I've never read it. Oh, I know, Chris is supposed to be way too many words. It's really really long.
Anyway.
Tolstoy, he was the author. He was here fighting for the Russians, he was in Sebastopol. The Russians were so well supplied with the Brits in the French parked outside that He talks at one point in time about what a wonderful time he's having, about how this is just great. The whole thing just kind of seemed like a really fun adventure. But why are the Russians supplied so well, well, remember what we always do to help tell our history story. We go to a map, look up the Black Sea.
The easiest way to do this Black Sea. Okay, you see it, I know you see Sevastopol. It's that big piece of land in the northern part of the Black Sea. It's sticking out, can't miss it. That's Sevastopol. Well, that's Crimea. But the city Sevastopol is there. That's the Crimean Peninsula. I might point out now if you're driving, don't worry about it. To the northeast of it. You see that little thing, the little blue the Sea of asof Azov,
the Sea of Asov, the Sea of Asov. That was the supply route where the Russians were getting all their goodies, all the food, all the troop reinforcements they need. That's why guys like toll Story were sitting there in the city eating well, drinking wine. Got all the bullets. You need a nice winter coat. Life is good for the Russians at this time, for the Brits not so much. Now we need to talk about this because it's one of those things that it's important to remember always. Logistics matter.
We talked about it last night. The French were more ready to fight a fight like this because they'd been fighting and they learned the necessity of having a field ambulance, having great medical people, making sure there's clean sheets, like basic boring things that you don't think about. The Brits were so lost in this regard, and the fighting was
extra extra terrible. Have you ever seen Have you ever seen a picture I'm not recommending it to you, depending on how old you are, of a hospital, a field hospital during the Civil War, of the missing limbs outside. You've seen it. I know Chris has seen it. Yeah, you're a sick. Oh, Chris, look, I've seen it as well. They're pictures online. You can go look at them. Kids, ask mom and dad first, please, but you can go
look at them. There's just a Civil War field hospital and there are just feet and legs, and you see these guys. They're always pictured and they're missing legs and they're missing arms. Well, I brought it up yesterday. The advancements in technology, the advancements and cannons and mortars and exploding shells. What we're encountering here is extra horrific for a couple of different reasons. One, these weapons, they're better, bigger, more powerful than weapons had ever been before in the
history of combat. That's one who because this is really the first major war where there are pictures where you can see these things. The young brave British boys and French boys and Russians. To be honest, but the young brave British boys who went down and signed up for glory in adventure, they didn't necessarily understand what they were signing up for. And it's not that it's fun to get in a sword fight on horseback. I'm not saying
that would be a real good time. But when you're a seventeen eighteen year old boy in Britain and you want to go do your duty and serve your country and make your dad proud, you're not marching down to the station thinking you're going to come home without legs. But many of them came home without legs. The wounds are terrible, the weapons are terrible, and the medical situation is something to discuss. Because I brought up Florence Nightingale,
that famous nurse, last night. Why was she beckoned? Well, here's the situation. The real true hospital for these British troops was not in Sevastopol. It was back in Turkey. It was back in the Ottoman Empire. It was not at all unusual for you to get wounded severely and not have real medical care for a month.
Or more.
Imagine marching off to war. This is a true story. I'm sorry this is gonna be a little gross, say for kids, but it's still gross. Imagine marching off to war, charging the Russian lines, getting shot through the chest. This is a true story. Getting shot through the chest and five weeks later you who have not been shipped out for real medical care, and people can scoop the maggots out of your wound because it is so festered and gross.
This is what the.
British troops on the ground were experiencing during the Crimean War.
In these stories.
Because again the modern press, the London Times and these other big papers, they were there, they started to report these stories back home. And this is why Florence Nightingale, bless her heart, said, ah, I need to go down there and help in the British government. To their credit, they knew they had a serious problem and they said go. And then she walks down into the big nursing facility in the Ottoman Empire and she's mortified by how dirty
it is. There aren't enough nurses, there's not enough clean sheets, there's not soap, there's not water. Guys are dying brutally. One guy I saw his picture. He was missing both of his legs above his knees.
Get this.
He had lost his feet to frostbite. I'll get to that in a moment.
But how did he lose the rest of his legs.
His medical care was so poor they had to go back in and amputate both of his legs above the knee after his feet were lost. That's how terrible this war was. And no one knows about this. We'll continue on. Maybe I'll finish. I doubt it, but hopefully soon. Next this is the Jesse Kelly Show, The Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Wednesday, reminding you that Tomorrow's and asks doctor Jesse Wednesday, and you can email your questions about anything.
Remember ask me anything, love, hey.
Death, threats, history, politics, food, doesn't matter what it is. Jesse at jesse kellyshow dot com. Back to the Crimean War again. This is our third and final part tonight of the Crimean War. So I just explained the logistical situation for the Brits, but if you can imagine it, it actually gets worse from here because winter comes. Now maybe you're thinking, well, yeah, hopefully they planned for that.
It's freaking Russia. Well, yes it's Russia, and yes it does get cold in this area, but not the kind of cold that of course comes this year, the year they happen to be there.
Remember this.
Part of the reason this area is so valuable to this day to the Russians is it's a warm water port. This is not the normal frozen hellscape you think of when you think about Russia in the winter. Winter comes for the Brits. Remember they're already in trenches and being able to supply an army by ship is a wonderful thing. It's an impressive thing, and the British Navy does rule the way. And after this war spoiler alert, they go on to spread their empire and be powerful until World War One.
They really do. So it's nice.
It's nice when your army's parked down on the shore and oh, we have more troops on this ship, and more food on this ship, and oh all of our winter clothes, forty thousand thick coats are on this ship. It's nice until a winter storm comes along and sends it to the bottom of the ocean. Now you are three thousand miles without a plane, without powered ships, sailing ships, or how you get there. You're three thousand miles from home in one of the nastier winters this area has seen.
And it sets in as your men are in the trenches and when it's not freezing cold, with men dying every single night, it's muddy. So your guys go from living in the mud to living in the frozen tundra. They're now bored, they're dispirited, and this is really this is really an ugly down part of British military history, which British military history is really awesome. A lot of it's really awesome. Everyone has their ups and downs.
It's war. It's ugly.
The crimean war is not It's probably not one I would imagine that's on it's not a feather you're keeping in your cap if you're a brit and you're talking about military history.
Part of the reason.
Why, now this really angers me to a great deal.
But they're officers.
While the enlisted guys were dying in the trenches, getting their feet cut off, losing their hands, ears frostbite, the Russians would routinely, because of course the Russians were better prepared for the winter, like they always seem to be, the Russians would infiltrate the lines, drop into your trench, stab guys, and go back. It was just a terrible, ugly affair. The officers kept going back home. The British officers would go on vacation back home to get warm,
while the enlisted guys stayed there rotting, dying and fighting. Now, I can't properly convey to you how quickly that would destroy the morale of any unit in any country on the planet we I won't go into the details of the exact win because I don't need anybody tracking the guy down. But at one point in my Marine Corps career, our company commander was a complete moron, just an absolute idiot, and everybody knew he was an idiot, and we all thought the guy was going to get us killed one day.
That's what we thought of him as soon as we figured out he was an idiot. And it didn't take us long. Just sucked the.
Life right out of our company.
It just doesn't. And I had lions too, a couple of lions, a really good platoon commander at one point, really good company commander at one point, and your whole company kind of puffs up. Yeah, well, I'll lay down in traffic for that guy. Leadership does matter. You know what it feels like when you're rotting in the trenches, your foot just turned black, and your company commander hops on a ship to head back home to hang out with his wife.
And kids for a month.
Destroys a unit, absolutely destroys it. Now, it's not all bad. Oh, it's funny. You brought that up. Chris just brought up a line. I don't know who said that line. I think it's old, But there's an old line that it's better to have an army of donkeys led by a lion than an army of lions led by a donkey.
You can look that up. Someone said it. I don't know whose.
Line it was at one point in time during this battle the Brits got close enough to the Russians, the Russians would essentially use that line on them and said, you're led by a bunch of donkeys, making fun of them to their faces. Like I said, it's not a shining example of British military history by any stretch of the imagination. But the Brits, slowly but surely, as controversy mounts back home, start to get their act together. They actually did get the troops some winter close, right about
the time it turned hot and winter ended. Yeah, I know it was ugly, but they were all this time inching closer and closer and closer to the city itself, to the fortifications of Sevastopol, so much so they've built a railway from the water to the city of Sevastopol. So the Russians are starting to feel it, and that, of course brings us to that sea of azof these Russians are fat and happy now everything they need. How long will that last? We'll get to that in a moment.
Before we get to that, let's get to you next employee, the one you need, that desk sitting empty in your office. You look at it and you think, gosh, what I wouldn't kill for the perfect that or honestly even worse, the dude who's there, Who's an idiot who screws everything up? Who's your Chris. That's why you need zip recruiter. Zip recruiter is there. It's the hiring site employers prefer the most. They have smart technology that starts showing your job to qualified candidates immediately.
Immediately. The candidates are already there waiting.
They're waiting for you to start your account to try it free at ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse.
Try it for free.
ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse. Stop putting stupid signs on the door, stop putting ads in the paper. The one uned is at ZipRecruiter dot com slash jesse. Go find him tonight we'll be back stay a hunt day. Remember, if you missed any part of the show, you can download the whole thing. iHeart Spotify iTunes. Trying to finish up part three of our little crimean war history thing we've been doing for the past few nights. So just to answer Jewish producer Chris's question from the break, he said,
refresh my memory, why do they want all this? Why are the French and British here? Because the Russians realized the Ottoman Empire was dying and it was they decided they wanted Constantinople for themselves. Understandably, they marched on it, the Brits and the French who were highly invested in trade with that place. And you know they're always competing with each other. You don't ever want your enemy to seize really the most strategically important city on the planet
then and now. So they marched down there. And the idea was they wanted to destroy not just Russia's fleet in the Black Sea, they wanted to destroy Sevastopol itself. So Russia really couldn't even build another one for a long time.
Destroy their fleet.
That way, they can't go down and take Constantinople. And if that's a little confusing, I'll give you a nerdy naval detail about this that you may or may not care about, but it might help you understand things. Remember, this is the time period of sail. Yes, there are steamships just getting rolling now that it's something Britons to getting good at, but for the most part, this is still the time of sail. If you look at a Crimean wore picture of the naval armadas, they have sails
on them. Well, if you look at the Dardenell's, that strip of water right before Istanbul that leads up into the Black Sea, it takes twice as long because of the wind, currents and everything else, to sail from the Dardanelles up to Sevastopol as it does to sail from Sevastopol down to the Dardenells. The Russians, if they have a fleet there, can get there overnight quickly, and the others cannot. All. Right back to our story, So the Brits finally start to get their supply act together. They're
building a railway. This is a modern powerful country. At this point, you'd probably consider them the most powerful country in the world. They're not going to screw this whole thing up forever. They're getting logistics figured out right at the time, they're figuring out how to completely hose the Russians.
For their logistics.
Where were the Russians getting all their supplies from the Sea of Azov Right there, northeast of Sevastopol, right northeast of the Crimean Peninsula. The Brits figured to themselves, well, we have this sweet fleet. The Russians don't have a fleet anymore. They sunk theirs on purpose. Why don't we just sail our fleet into the Sea of Asov, knock out some fortifications there and cut them off from supplies.
And they do.
It's pretty sharp military campaign, to be honest. Not that severing your enemy's supply lines is some act of brilliance. It's really anything anyone who's ever played risk understands. But that's what you do. You find your enemy's supply line, you cut him off, and you starve him to death. The Brits do it. They do it successfully. Now the British army, from three thousand miles away is better supplied than the Russian army, whose headquarters are two to three
hundred miles away. The Russians start to get weak as the Allies grow strong. They're starting to build better facilities for the troops. No more and it's no more frostbite in the winter. The Brits, the French, they're getting stronger and stronger than they're thinking to themselves. The Russians they're starving. These people are they're on their last leg. Guess what anniversaries coming up Waterloo. Now, I know you don't know the Waterloo anniversary, nor do you need to memorize this date.
But it's the eighteenth of June. Okay, the eighteenth of June. And this is not an important date necessarily for you unless you're a super duper Napoleon freak. But at this point in the eighteen fifties, Waterloo meant everything to the British. It was their big victory over Napoleon and still a sore spot for the French.
We had it all, we lost it at Waterloo.
They decided to collaborate and they were going to storm the fort on the eighteenth of June. The problem for the British and the French was the Russians. Russians maybe a lot of things, but stupid is not generally one of them. The Russians assumed there would be a big assault on the anniversary of Waterloo. They saw it coming and a lot of people died. This is you remember Lord Ragland did the charge of the light brigade. The guy in charge, he dies shortly after this. Not he
didn't get shot, but from disease. He died. And he said, logistically he had screwed so much up he thought he would be executed when he went back to Britain. This was back during a time period in the world where a general has got killed. If they screwed everything up here in America, you get promoted to raytheon for a million dollars a year. But we'll set that aside. Colera comes back. It's a nightmare. But then the Brits, they
know time is on their side. They sail another fleet up into the Baltic and they start to pummel the Russian forts in the Baltic. Remember the Baltic is north of Europe, and at the end of the Baltic, if you're going from west to east, the end of the Baltic is Saint Petersburg, the Russian capital. The Brits start to pound cities on the way to Saint Petersburg until they get almost all the way there. Now the Russians they're looking out from their capital at a gigantic British fleet.
The Brits know they still have to take a huge fort. But think what that would look like. What if you woke up tomorrow morning and there was a Chinese fleet as far as the eye could see little disconcerting.
No.
Well, combine that with the final attack that is mounted on Sevastopol. The Russians know it's coming. They had built a bridge, that had They tried to shuttle as many of their people out as humanly possible, but their people are starving. The bombardment comes and the Russians now were too hungry, too short of supplies. They can't seem to rebuild. They can't rebuild like they used to. After every bombardment. The French in the British both attack. The French pour
through the lines. Remember the French were ace Land troops at this point in time, ace Land troops. We all like to make fun of the French. They actually have an amazing military history. It was just World War Two where they embarrassed themselves. They were dominant here. Soon there were French flags flying, but no British flags. Why they had look it depends on who you read. I read
three or four different things in preparation for this. They had good officers or bad officers depending on who you read. Good troops or young troops, depending on who you read. But the British attack fails, the Brits don't make it and the French do think how badly that must hurt. There weren't British flags flying. There were French flags flying.
In what was.
Supposed to be a joint assault. They tried and the next morning, but the Russians had basically slipped out. Finally the Brits go limping into the place. They then proceed both of them to begin to flatten the dockyards, blow everything up. They essentially reduced Sevastopol to rubble, to rubble, the French go home. The French are done with this whole thing. The Brits are not thrilled with their performance.
They decide they need a little a little more to get some glory out of this war, and they're gonna make a serious run at Saint Petersburg. The Russians, though, were fresh out of money and fresh out of hope. That large Russian empire. They were just done, and they submitted before the Brits could use that navy and pound Saint Petersburg to dust.
That is the story of.
The Crimean War and the beginning of the end for the Ottomans and the Czars. And you know what, we'll talk about that very briefly when we get back and then we'll get back to some politics here on the world famous Jesse Kelly Show.
There's the crimean war for you. Now.
I'm sure all this war talk probably has you ready to grill meats. It most definitely has me ready. But I didn't know what's gonna come out perfect? See me, inexperienced idiot, Jesse. My meat comes out perfect every time because I use the IQ sense.
What is it.
It's from Chefman. It's a wireless cooking thermometer. But it's the most modern, amazing thing you've ever seen. You see, we have ooh, probably four or five meat thermometers in my house. I do the same one as you do. Pull it out, stick it in. Could you look at the temperature?
Put it back. I think it needs ten more minutes. I'm maybe five. I do the same thing.
Well, I should say I used to do the same thing. Now it doesn't matter what I'm making, steaks, chicken, pull pork, brisket. I put in an IQ CeNSE or two. I generally used two. I bought the two pack. They have singles or twos or threes. I use the two pack and I just look at my phone. Hey, looks like the meat's done. It connects to an app on my phone.
If I don't feel like checking my phone, I just tell my phone the temperature I'm looking for, and my phone lets me know when the meat's done and perfect every time you want perfect meat every time, chefiq dot com promo code Jesse saves you fifteen percent, So make sure you save some money chefq dot com code Jesse, We'll be back. Truth Attitude is the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, wonderful Wednesday. Remember tomorrow is and ask doctor Jesse Thursday. So you can get your questions emailed
in now to jesseat Jesse kellyshow dot com. How going to get to some of those emails in a moment. Will still give a little update on the Russia Ukraine stuff. The Libs are tearing down the rainforest now and so much more.
Just wanted to put a couplet, a couple.
Of little bows on this crimean war thing about what happened afterwards for the Brits. Not their finest war right. The Navy certainly had nothing to be ashamed of at all. The Brits really knew how to feel the Navy, and the Brits went on to really dominate the world. They were the global superpower until World War One, so you can't really complain in the end of how it worked out for the Brits the French. The French did very
well for themselves too. By the time World War One rolled around, they were a very very powerful country had done very well the Ottomans. It's kind of funny the Brits and the French sailed down there to I won't say, save the Ottoman Empire. That's not what they did. That's a real rosie. That's a real rosy view on the motivations for the Brits and the French.
That's right, Chris. It's about money.
It was about trade, it was about denying the Russians Constantinople. It was about all those things. But in part at least, they were trying to keep the Ottoman Empire intact. Remember, the Ottoman Empire doesn't get a lot of love in America because it's a Muslim empire, and Islam is not our natural religion here in the country, so we kind of gloss over it. Everyone knows about Rome and places like that. The Ottoman Empire was a juggernaut for a very very very long time. By this point in time,
they're on the back nine. Forget that they're on the last hole. They were a fading, crumbling empire. You know Constantinople Istanbul today, that wonderful, wonderful city. The Brits couldn't stop talking about how filthy it was and how full of beggars it was. When they got there, they didn't know that. Again, this is before pictures. They showed up and you have this Constantinople picture in your mind, and they're all, gosh, this place is a dump. The Ottoman
Empire was fading. This war didn't help them much. They essentially broke off a lot after this. In fact, you can argue very easily that the Ottoman Empire kind of cracking up, creating places like Serbia after this created all the conditions.
For World War One, that horrible, horrible.
Thing that came what seventy years or so, give or take after this. The Ottoman Empire didn't end up faring that well in the end, but really all that pales in comparison to what happened to the poor freakin Russians. The Russians had been ruled by Csars for a long time, about three hundred years. By this point in time, they'd been ruled kings. Okay, we call them zars, but they're kings.
It's a monarchy, an autocracy, that's it. One person's in charge, and they always had a secret police in charge of repressing things. And this war did kind of wake the Russians up to the fact that they needed to be a lot more industrial than they were. They really had to ramp up their industrial base, so they did get that much. But this war was so wounding to the Tsars. We don't think about that in America that much because we haven't really lost many wars. In fact, have we
ever lost one. Even if you say Vietnam, we didn't militarily lose Vietnam. The more on politicians may have screwed the whole thing up, but our military certainly didn't lose Vietnam. Our guys did very, very well. Korea the same thing.
You'd call it a tie Navia.
Yeah, it took five hundred thousand Chinese storming across the border.
We don't know what it's like. How does it.
Look for leadership to outright lose, as in, you're signing a peace agreement and you're the loser. Well, the Tsars were already starting to fade with their power. And yes, they went on for another sixty seventy years. It's not like they finished. But this really hurt the Czars. By the end of this war, it was Czar Alexander, it wasn't Tzar Nicholas the first anymore, and they just really it was the beginning, in my opinion, of the end for them. By the time World War One started, the
Tsars were in really shaky ground in Russia. And obviously you already know the story. During World War One, that's when the Russian Revolution happened. They lost their power and somehow, as is often the case, things got worse for the Russians after the revolution. Just seems to work out.
That way a lot.
So that's the crimean war, not insignificant, and it goes into exactly what's in the news right now, this Ukraine's today.
We made an offer that the Ukrainians have accepted, which is to enter into a ceasefire, into immediate negotiations to end this conflict in a way that's enduring and sustainable and accounts for their interests, their security, their ability to prosper as a nation. Now Hopefully we'll take this offer and out of the Russians, and we hope that they'll say yes.
They'll say yes to peace. The balls now in their court.
But again, the president's objective here is number one above everything else.
He wants the war to end.
And I think today Ukraine has taken a concrete step in that regard. We hope the Russians will reciprocate.
That was Secretary of State Marco Rubio earlier today, the Russians got the message. Maybe you're wondering why they haven't signed on the dotted line yet to a ceasefire. The Russians have said, now we're waiting on the details of that ceasefire. Remember we've talked about this a lot. Just to remind you again, stopping a war is much more
difficult than starting one. It sounds really easy. It sounds easy if you don't really think about all the diplomacy involved, the different motivations, the police situation at the home front, of all the different countries involved. Right, I mean, there's political consequences here for Trump, for Zelenski, for putin that, there's just a lot of moving parts. It's harder to stop a war than start one. It's not like you wake up and just say, okay, stop, we're done. Russia
has said, show me the details. We can talk about that ceasefire. Show me the details. And like I told you, was going to be an issue Russia, they pretty much have a huge, huge chunk of the Ukrainian forces surrounded and cut off. Now, well you now you're really gonna have to sweeten the pot because Russia has the ability to annihilate these people if they keep this thing going. So it could very well be rocky from here or by the time we go down the air tomorrow, this thing could be stopped.
You know. They could be hammering something out. I don't know.
It might be a day, it might be a month, it might be ten years. We just don't know yet. Well know when we know.
This has been a podcast from wo R