Ho, ho, Merry Christmas Eve. And Merry Christmas and welcome to Jay of the Dead's new horror movies. the berserk baboon of horror podcasting. This is our very special Christmas special, or the 2024 edition is actually called The Wacky Ass. Christmas cast, and I'm your host. Jay of the Dead, podcasting from Pleasant Grove, Utah. And in all, we typically have 10 esteemed hosts who comprise our team of so-called horror Avengers. And they are...
The Gilman Joel Robertson, Mr. Watson, Dr. Walking Dead Kyle Bishop, Count Macula, Ron Martin, Dave Z, and Spawn of the Dead. Those gentlemen will not... be with us on this episode but joining us later on will be the amazing but subtle one dave dr shock becker he'll be along but with me right now is the southern gentleman himself, Greg Amortis. Welcome, Greg. Santa Claus only brings presents to them that's been good all year. All the other ones.
All the naughty ones he punishes. What about you, boy? You've been good all year. What's up, what's up? Hey, buddy. You nailed that. You're really good at that. How good at being old? Yeah, when your hair turns white, I bet you'll be able to just really pull off that Santa Claus thing. Maybe, hopefully. Hopefully I have a little grandkid by then where I can do that to him. Boy, you been good. Yes. Yeah, that ho-ho-ho thing, though, that was...
You were working that. I was feeling it in my Yuletides. So anyways, we have a very special guest and I'm so excited that she was willing to be... heard with us given given the things we're going to be discussing during this episode we want to welcome the mysterious the elegant the creepy the twisted temptress welcome hi i am the non-adventure
But I did not come alone. I am here to help Krampus. Yes. Making sure that you guys are naughty because I am coming for you. And I am putting you in a bag and taking you right to him. Yeah, and you left out the freaking word bratty, too. Oh, yes, bratty. That's true. You know what I call you, Pearl? I have a title for you. I call you the queen of horror podcasting. I'm just saying. I know other people try to say that, but I say.
That's who I think you are personally. That's what I say. Well, thank you. I'm a little biased, but sorry. Yeah. Well, for sure. Well, she's the first lady of meaning first lady in terms of like a presidential. first lady she's the first lady of land of the creeps right so yes and that that show has been around now for what eight hundred and eighty seven episodes and
Congrats. Seriously, you guys are so prolific, and I'm really proud of you for that. It's inspirational to me. It is. Well, thank you. You've been around as long as I have, Jason. Don't go there, buddy. I know, but I quit every five seconds. but you guys have kept going in the same show and I'm just, I really respect and admire it.
It's all about not being naughty. It's all about that, Joe. Yeah, I know. I don't want Santa coming to find me like he does in a movie we're talking about tonight. Yes. Speaking of naughty and bratty, you two have recently received some toys. which has amused me to no end. Let me just tell the listeners how this came to be. And in case Greg Amortis doesn't know why his life has changed recently, this is why. I was sending them something.
thing, the mortises. And I forget what else was in the package, but I was in this gas station. Oh, I was picking up candy for Pearl, of course, because that's like, she loves candy. And I saw this. This little bitey dinosaur toy. And I'm like, you know.
That looks like something that Greg Amortis would appreciate and have fun playing with. So I put it in there and it turned out to have a different purpose. What happened, Greg, when you received that little tiny bitey dinosaur? Well, first of all, if you can hear.
that's the mouth of this thing because it has like really sharp pointy teeth and it's it fits in the palm of your hand and it's the shape of a dinosaur that bites and pearl immediately took it from me and started like biting me with it like she's every inch i'm like stop i was like quit so i banned her i was like within five seconds i said jay she's banned she cannot have it and she got all sad and pouty and i guess she went to you jay it was like he took it from me yeah yeah so well
And Greg did, just so people know, Greg did excessive whining through texting about this. He was very upset that Pearl was chewing on him with this, which of course was hilarious to me because I got to hang out with these two and I'm telling you. If anybody, you know that scene in Dumb and Dumber, not that you two are dumb, but in Dumb and Dumber, when they're driving in the truck with that dude and he's going to lose his mind, that's how it is riding around with them.
greg and pearl because they're such little little children they're kids at heart and so when i heard that she was harassing you with this it was just super funny to me okay so let's pick up then then what happened pearl you you reached out to me well first Let me add a little part out. What? When he saw that toy, the first thing he did was splash it in my face. And he knows how I am. I get excited with toys. Yeah.
Like I said, we're literally kids at heart, but we act like two-year-olds. It was more the fact that he sent it to me. So I was like, see, hi, Jay sent this to me. Yeah, that's what he did. And he did chomp on me once or twice. I was like, I want to do it too. Oh, big mistake. Well, that's what happened. I grabbed my hands on it.
I found a lot of little places where that chompy thing can fit into and he got mad. And he's like, no. And I'm like, wait, one more time. No. And I kept doing it and doing it. And then he banned me. Yep. And then? And then I text you. Yes. I was like, he banned me. Yeah. No one on my side. And I was like, wait a minute. You know, it's supposed to be share or something. I share my candy. Right. You guys share your toys.
So, yeah, I text Jay and then all of a sudden he tells me, check the mail Monday. I didn't think about it until like... What was it? We were texting about something and you said, oh, did it get there? It's bigger than his. I'm like, huh? Oh, I thought you did. Yes.
This thing's like two foot long. Like this thing has to reach across the whole system. I sent Pearl her very own big bitey dinosaur for Greg, right? To attack him. And it's like two foot long. This thing stretches. I can't get away from it. It's funny because you're like, here's your package. And I'm like, ooh. I already had devil horns on my head and dots. So I'm like, open it up. I'm like, oh, it's big. It's perfect. And mine sounds bigger. Whoa. That does sound.
That's like the, isn't that like, that sounds like the Spinosaurus aegypticus right there. Yeah. And I don't have to stretch much. I'm like, oh, this one's long and I can get him. I get him every time. He walks by, get him again. Come sit down, get him again. Nice. It's like the difference between Land of the Lost Dinosaur that Chaka was getting chased by.
around compared to the jurassic park you know t-rex or something this is the difference between that yeah thanks a lot nice well that is so hilarious to me and it's only seemed fair that you would both get one then you know that's what i did with my If I didn't want them fighting, I'd get them both a toy.
You know, essentially the same kind of toy so they wouldn't have to fight. And I thought it would work for you too. And Greg, I just want you to know, I was trying to hook a brother up initially because I'm like, I wonder what kind of little flirty games Greg could play with this, you know, give him... little nips with this dinosaur is what i thought but but no it backfired apparently so
You know, I was trying brother. But anyways, you're every day now, but that's okay. Listeners, you gotta, he has been threatening me. He has been telling me he's going to get me back for this. So it's super funny. So if anybody wants to send the mortises any little bitey dinosaurs, it's quite humorous. If only you would have seen us at the store a couple of years ago. What did we find?
one of those punching monkeys. Yeah, it's kind of like the Rock'em Sock'em. Oh, yes. But they had two monkeys and you hold them in your hand. So we're sitting there fighting in the middle of the freaking big lots or whatever. Yeah, in the aisle. Like, he's shooting. Yes. Well, I love it. And it's this time of year and there are lots of toys and all kinds of good things happening. But that's one aspect of the holidays that people enjoy is playing with these toys. So now you all have the list.
listeners have an idea of what they can get for their loved ones it's pretty fun pretty fun anyways so that's what we're doing here we've got three movies to talk about on this Christmas special One of them is going to be a Christmas film. It's like an infamous film that people have been raving about for a while. And so I'm like, I think we should address this and discuss this film. And so that one is coming.
We also have a brand new 2024 horror film that just came out this past weekend as we record this. And then there is a special selection that somehow came from Dr. Sean. I don't know where he got this, but, you know, in much the same way that I roped him into Jan-Gal once upon a time, he roped me into a movie that is very Jan-Gal-like, and so we'll be closing off with that one.
want to welcome everybody for our little Christmas party here. We hope that you're having a wonderful Yuletide season. And whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or Festivus or whatever you celebrate, we hope you have a wonderful and safe holiday season and thank you for listening to jay of the dead's new horror movies the krampus of horror movie podcasting
Okay. Well, I'm good either way. If you want to do whichever way you can roll, I'm good with either one. Okay. Let's start with the shark one then, I guess. I'm not shark. Werewolves. That's not my life. I was like, oh shit, I need to get some different notes. Okay. Well... Just because it's humorous. I just left that in there for the podcast. But it's Jay the Dead here. And my mind is apparently gone. All gone.
We are here with Greg Amortis and the Twisted Temptress. And we are having a very special Christmas special, a.k.a. wacky-ass Christmas cast. And this is the 2024... We will be discussing is a brand new film called Werewolves. Now, now, Greg, I understand that you have some history. with the director steven c miller would you like to kind of set us up on this and give us a little background on this yeah sure uh yeah steven c miller popped up on my radar back when
The movie Silent Night, if you remember back in 2000, when was that exactly? 2012. 2012. So in 2012, Stephen Miller had directed a is basically a remake or re-imaging of the movie Silent Night, Deadly Night. And he did the movie and he called it Silent Night. Really good slasher film from the 2000s. So if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Watson loves that one too. He's very fond of it. So good. There's a wood chipper scene in there that just is great. But...
He popped on my radar as soon as I saw this movie, Silent Night. So I reached out to him and we interviewed him over on Land of Creeps. I need to go back and find out exactly what episode that was. I should have probably already done that. But anyways, we had interviewed him and talked to him, and I just hit up a real good friendship with him from that. And he's a big Dodgers fan. I'm a big Dodgers fan, so that works out.
He's a really good guy. Now, I do not talk to Stephen Miller on a daily or weekly or monthly basis, so don't get that wrong. I'm not, like, texting this dude or anything. But I do know him through the interview, and I've always just been a fan of his and totally support him in what he does. So when I saw this movie... was directed by Steven Seymour. I was like, oh, crap, dude, I've got to see this, because he's been doing a lot of action flicks as of late. Right. And so...
This was getting to be a return somewhat to horror. So I was really, really thrilled with it. Now I'm looking back. It may have been actually a creature feature horror show. It's one of the two. But anyways, we interviewed Steve Miller. That's here to say, but just say that I was excited because of who was attached to this movie.
Yeah, and for those who are action and crime film aficionados like me, for example, I love those kind of films. So he did Extraction and Marauders, which if I'm not mistaken, I think I had Bruce Willis in it. And then Escape Plan 2, Hades. But yeah, so he's done some of that as well. Arsenal, right? I don't know how many of those you guys have seen. I've seen some of those.
I've not seen any of the Arsenal, but I have seen a couple of his action flicks. He had hit up a friendship. He's got kind of like Rob Zombie, where he kind of brings a crew with him. Frank Grillo is one that he has in his, I don't want to say... let me say in his like bag, so to speak. Yeah. Bruce Willis was definitely one. He was in a few of his movies. So he has some of those that he has returned.
Uh, they've hit up a good friendship and that, that works, uh, for sure. So, well, here, here's a little, um, I'll give you a little joke here. Um, on the film Marauders, yes, that does have Bruce Willis. And it also has. Um, Adrian Grenier, uh, in, um, some people say Grenier, but I think it's Grenier. But anyways, um, so Adrian Grenier is in his entourage, I will say. And if anybody gets that joke, then.
It will be a Christmas miracle. Anyways, because, yes, he was the lead of Entourage. Anyways, blah, blah, blah. So here we are with werewolves. Ooh, so you two, it's funny because we ended up going to see this at the theater. And I think I saw it like an hour or two right ahead of you guys that you were about to go. And what made you decide?
Was it the director? What made you decide, oh, we're going to go watch this werewolves movie in the theater? That had to be because of me. I'm a big, huge fan of werewolves, and I feel like we don't have enough of that.
so far and i'm like oh i'm so in for it she was super pumped and i was pumped because of steven miller so i didn't really care what it was i was going to support him so i was like well dude i'm in on this but pearl was like all about the werewolves werewolves movie and she had showed me a still pic so i'd seen a pic of one of the werewolves and and going through uh steven miller was putting out a lot of pre stuff you know weeks prior to you know talking about his editing and different things so
Uh, hearing all the excitement he had, I was like, dude, I'm going to be into this, man. I can't wait to see what these werewolves practical effects does. So I was stoked about it. Yeah. And, and I, you know how, when. So there was Alien, and then when the sequel came out, it was called Aliens. Well, one thing that got me to go to the theater was the fact that this wasn't just called Werewolf.
Like, hey, this is werewolves. And I'm like, okay, already we've committed to multiple werewolves. And so that's cool. I like that. So that seemed bold. It's also very bold to put your monster on the cover. We've talked about that in the poster art. And I think... this poster um it's funny it could go either way but i mean you know i was i'm like i'm gonna give this a chance and pearl i bet you're excited about the wolf man here coming out in january yes or no
Kind of. I'm torn in between because I'm not so much as a universal whore like for the Wolfman. Sorry. But I will still give it a try because I can't deny my werewolf. She loves her American werewolf in London howling style. If she's not biting you with a bitey dinosaur, she's biting you with her rhetoric.
Against universal. Yeah. See, if anybody sees the poster art for werewolves, that's basically about what this dinosaur looks like that Jay sent her with the mouth open. I'm just saying. That's what I'm just saying. You know what, not to get off subject. Go ahead. You know what I would really, really love? Because I can make videotapes myself. I want to be like Mark Dupas and have...
a mask, the werewolf mask, and be peach fuzz. Peach fuzz. I want to make my own videos here. Yeah, tell it. Give us more context over that. Well, those who... I have seen Creep 1 and 2. There's a Shudder series called The Creep Tapes. And it's with the guy Mark Dupas. Yes, I love him. Yeah. He is fantastic. He has a closet full of tapes where each one has a name on it. Pulls out one and, you know, puts it on and, you know, talking about whoever, like there'll be one called Brad.
Brad can be just any random person that he meets and he wants to be videoed and he'll do something to get that video but somehow in there he'll show you how that'll be the last thing you'll ever see. Okay. So are those Creep Tapes related to Creep and Creep 2? Oh, yeah. Okay, because I have not gotten around to seeing those two movies yet, although I keep hearing good things about those. You must. You have to. Is it on Shudder? Or is it on Netflix? What? Creep tights. Shudder.
Is it on Shudder? Okay. They're only like 25 minutes long, but they're really good. I like his movies and even his mumblecore stuff that's not necessarily horror. I like that too. So yeah, I'm in. I'm in for that. okay so werewolves here and then we got writer matthew kennedy which um i don't know if you guys are familiar with matthew kennedy i'm not and i just i'm not seeing anything yeah okay
But, yeah, this stars, as you said, this stars Frank Grillo, which, by the way, dude is super ripped. He's got the Hugh Jackman vibe. And if something, and I love Hugh Jackman, I just want to say, but if something had happened to Hugh Jackman and he didn't want to do Wolverine, I feel like this dude could have totally stepped in to that role.
Yeah, he looks the part. And he had the six-pack of Ryan Reynolds in the Amityville horror remake. He kind of had that six-pack going on, too. Frank Grillo, he was totally steroid. I mean, I'm not... Didn't say he did it. He was ripped. Yeah. Well, you can tell he's working hard. Like anytime I see, so I'm, I'm a little, I'm a little chubby right now and I'll just say, I'll just admit it. But anytime I see somebody like that, I'm like, yeah, that guy there, he eats salads.
He had salad for lunch. He's had salad for lunch today. He had salad for lunch yesterday. That's the price. That's the price. He had no Dairy Queen. I know, damn it. And that's my problem because I'm just like, you know. Anyways, but, okay, so we got him, and then it seemed like there was another actor in this, I recognize. Oh, Lou Diamond Phillips, of course, has a small role in this as well. And if...
Don't you have a special fondness for Lou Diamond Phillips, if I'm not mistaken, Greg Amortis? I actually do like him a lot. I don't know about the fondness of him, but he was in Young Guns. I do love him in that movie. Yes. La Bamba. La Bamba. Oh, yeah. Yeah, very good. He's a good actor. He really is. Not my Richie. Not Richie!
It's just fun. I love seeing these actors from, you know, back in the day. I like seeing them still get work, you know, so I appreciate that anyways. Um, so yeah, and this is rated R has a runtime of one hour. hour 33 minutes and what's wacky about this film to me is the premise you guys i mean this thing i mean on one hand it's kind of a blend and tell me and this isn't because of frank grillo either it just this is a coincidence i think or maybe it's not so cool
But it does have a little bit of the Purge vibe to it. It's like the Purge, but with werewolves. Totally 100%. back you on that yeah yeah it's almost like a retail another purge with werewolves right right and that's kind of cool now now what i really balk against uh word of the day B-A-L-K. What I really gripe about here is the way that we end up with multiple werewolves. And this is in the opening title card sequence. Basically, there's a super moon.
And if human beings are exposed merely if the moonlight shines on them and they're exposed to the supermoon moonlight, they will become werewolves. Now... I'm the first to go up there. Oh, you would do it? Because it looks... Yeah, I would in a second. But it always looks very painful to transform. I've never seen a werewolf transformation that was, like, pleasurable. Never. Ever.
But you're still up for it, Pearl. Yeah, I'm okay. She's like, bring it. Not me, buddy. Yeah, I wouldn't want that. I have a very low tolerance for pain. I just want people to know. Yeah, I mean, I'm the kind of guy. It's like if they put me in a room and they're going to torture me, I'm like, I'll just tell you right now. What do you want to know? You don't even have to hurt me.
Just tell, I mean, we're not, we don't need to do any pain. I hate pain. It hurts me. That's what Daffy Duck says. Anyways. So what you're saying is, is if they come, DC Universe comes over to try to take the Avengers out for us. Don't put you up front, right? So we don't want you because you're going to give out all the spills. Yeah, if somebody's trying to torture me, yeah, like screw that.
I'll take Dr. Shock up there because him and Ron Martin would never give up any information. Those two are going up. That's what I'm saying. Sorry, Jay. You and I are staying to the back. Yeah, they're tough cookies. We're going to be the brains. We're going to be the operation. That's right. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Yes. No, that's super funny.
So, so listeners, what we have here, if you haven't seen this movie, is there's a super moon and, and basically it's going to be a full super moon this one night. They tell everybody to stay inside and hide, kind of like the purge. And if you do get exposed, you turn to a werewolf. So everybody's hiding. And of course, a lot of people get exposed. So there are werewolves out running around. And trying to eat remaining humans. And that's kind of the premise. Am I missing anything, you guys? Nope.
That's it in a nutshell. Okay. Now, to be honest with you, aside from the way that they turn, I don't like the supermoon concept. But aside from that... I love the premise of The Purge, but with werewolves. I kind of like that. Were you guys, how did you feel about that premise? I was pumped. I was waiting to see who they were going to eat.
Tear apart. You know what? In my imagination, I was even looking for Red Riding Hood. Right. Which basically kind of did because the cop lady, she had red hair, so might as well like, okay. yeah i mean i'm all about i love the purge is one of my favorite franchises in the 2010s and
I just really love those movies. So this, yeah, definitely was all about that. But the super moon kind of took me out. I mean, three or four times a year, you're telling me you're going to have this on average, right? Three or four times. So I don't know, man. It just. That was a little hokey to me. And then what was cool was a couple of them, like the Incredible Hulk, got to keep the clothes on.
Yeah, I don't understand that. We'll get into that for sure. But here's my thing, though. You've got this happening three or four times a year, and it literally causes worldwide panic. It literally destroys towns. Like, you know, this is happening three or four times a year. How are they rebuilding? How is these...
towns going back to normal in such a short time, knowing this happens three or four times a year, maybe more. I don't know. It's just, yeah, I would have left the super moon thing out. Plus, let me ask you this. If the moon, if it's cloudy, In your neighborhood, does that mean it doesn't affect you because there is no moon shining down? Yes.
A philosophical thing that the super moon's out, even if the moon's not shining. You know what? You are bursting my bubble here. You just let the moon shine. I know, but you know it's cloudy a lot of places. Right.
if it's cloudy, does the super moon not affect them? Like if, if you're affected by the super moon and then uh we enter rain like it does in a movie does that cause the the effect to stop all of a sudden because now it's cloudy and no moon well i would think so but it's not going to stay cloudy the whole entire night No, you're exactly right, Greg. You got a great point because they actually hit on that during this film. And we do see instances where...
It is a matter of direct moonlight hitting the person's skin. And especially if they look up at it. But it's not just looking at it. It's like moonlight shining on you. So yeah, there is a scene. where the clouds part, they intentionally show us that the cloud is parting and then the moon comes down. And so, yeah, you're right about that. So does that mean you change back?
to human form if it gets cloudy and then you change back when it comes? I mean, I don't know. Like, do you constantly keep going back and forth? No. right there no just no and we learn from the film just the second the absolute instant the the sunrise occurs bam it's over instantly like bam yes you can even quote unquote set a time watch to it and know yeah you can set your watch by it that's right that's right so anyways um
The thing about this film is I went into this with a very open mind. I went into it wanting to love it. And to be honest, I had... I kind of had a good time a little bit, you guys. I really did have a good time. I don't think the Wolves... look that bad I actually I like some of the the wolf look but for me um I think The dumbness. There's a lot of dumbness. And I don't want to be mean, but there's some serious logic errors. I mean...
In horror, it's common for characters to make dumb mistakes and have weird logic because that's how characters get killed in horror movies. But this film takes that to a whole new level. Where the logic is amazing. I mean, I couldn't even imagine watching this with like Dave Z or Ron Martin and having them comment because those guys are always.
you know, talking about the, okay, well, why would you do this? Or, yeah, because those guys would have just a field day with this. And usually I can kind of let a lot of that skate. But in this, I'm like, wow, this is a real pickle for me. So the dumbness is the lack of a better word. That's what really... affected me. So this felt to me kind of more like a sci-fi movie channel kind of...
kind of installment. And I was, and I'm not dissing on it, but I'm surprised that this somehow got into theaters. I'm glad it did because I love having beastly freaks in the theaters. I mean, finally, we get something different. from haunting movies. And so I cheer for it for that reason. But it does feel like a sci-fi channel movie. But Pearl, what are your thoughts? Well, I mean...
I'm in between because I can nitpick at a movie as well. And I'll be like, oh, my God. Because I was already doing it with the girl. Yes. With her ammo. And, yeah, I was like, nothing's there for you to shoot at yet. Put it out. Yeah. Right. And... And might I add, that little girl, oh my gosh, she's such a beauty. She's going to be so beautiful when she grows up. She's really a beauty now, and she's so cute. Camdenberry. Yep. Cute kid. Yeah. But, I mean...
But I still had fun with it. I mean, you know, if you're craving werewolves and you want plenty of action, I mean, this is a fun movie to watch for just that. Okay, good. Greg, what say you, sir? Yeah, much like you, Dave Z will, man, if he, and I don't think he'll watch this, but if he does, this is going to be one that he is going to have a field day with. Two hours on a show because he is going to pick this thing apart. I'm kind of much like Pearl and you, Jay. I can overlook a lot of stuff.
I did talk through my head in this one a lot, not trying to be rude to anybody in theaters. I wasn't going to Pearl a lot in it, but in my mind, I'm thinking, man, I'm doing a Dave Z through this whole movie. Like, oh my God. God, why are you all this was never all. And I'm just literally, you know, in my brain, just bursting myself up inside, just like nitpicking the same to pieces.
But with that said, I still had fun. Rated R, this is not a rated R movie. And this is a PG-13 in my opinion. But I don't see horror necessarily. And I feel this is more of an action thriller. I know IMDB has it as a werewolf horror. Why zombie horror? I don't know. Action horror thriller. I don't really see horror necessarily in this other than the werewolves, but it's not. This is like an action flick. and with some thriller action so overall I mean I had fun with it
but it's not one that blew me away by any means. And it did not go where I thought it would go. So there's too many moments of that scratching my head and my mind going, why did you do this? Or why are you doing that? I don't want a movie where I'm constantly talking to myself in the movie. I just want to watch it and enjoy it. I'm screaming.
in my head like oh why would you know who wrote this why are we doing this no yeah it don't work that way and i'm just screaming dude right i do like frank grillo I do like Frank. Same. Same. Agreed. I know. Oh. Yeah. See, it's easy. I think it's easy for people to take a movie like this and to beat up on it a lot. But honestly, and I'm not trying to make excuses, I think it is intended to be...
A B movie. I mean, I really think that what they wanted to deliver was a monster movie. You know, kind of like an old school. B-movie, and I feel like it achieves that. But, yeah, I think if people have their expectations in the right place, because going in, I was like, hmm, this could be a little sketchy. But, you know, I was ready to have a good time. Yeah, I mostly did, even though it is annoying a lot. But yeah, for me, I gotta say, werewolves, like I said...
For the most part, most of the time, the wolves look pretty decent. There is one angle where they do the open mouth and the top of the mouth. It kind of goes at a V. And anytime they hit that angle on it, it looked like Muppet Show or something. I did not like that. But aside from that, I mean... If you know that this is a sci-fi channel type monster movie, and I would call it genre classification. For me, it's werewolf.
action horror and yeah it is lighter on the horror but um you know it's would you give it a rated r would you went pg-13 oh man yeah it's it's right on the line it's very mild for r for sure so i could see why you would say that i'm like spawn would go into this one and not have a problem oh no not at all yeah for sure and i even think i even think gizmo could watch this one you know my daughter and she's not really a horror gal but but yeah so for me I'm coming in on werewolves
Actually, a 4 out of 10. And I call this a low priority stream for werewolf fans. Because I think if you're a werewolf person, of course, you're going to see it. But that's where I am. If people's expectations are... managed, I think they might be able to have a good time. What say you, Pearl? Well, for me, knowing that it is an indie film and they worked around a lot of the budgeting. I was impressed and satisfied with the werewolves and had fun with that alone. Everything else I would...
Like I said in the words of Forrest Gump, and that's all I got to say about that. But I give it six and a half. Okay. Okay, so is that a... Is that a rental then for people or a streaming? Is it theater or what do you say? I would say wait to streaming. Okay. Streaming, gotcha. Sounds good. Okay, Greg Amortis, bring us home on this.
Yeah, for me, this one's a 6 out of 10. And for me, it's a definite, for you, the listener, it's a wait till it hits a... platform that you already have streamed for free i agree with pearl this was not a big budget films. So for what Steven C. Miller did with these werewolves for a independent budget is amazing. The practical effects on these werewolves for the budget are amazing. And I appreciate.
the practical effects aspect. Now there are some CGI moments that he uses when they're running away, doing some things that are a little hokey, but overall the werewolves as a whole are practical and they look great. I will give him a plus for that. especially on the budget. But for me, it's like a six. I will buy this because it's werewolves and it's Steven C. Miller. I'll support them. So that's just me.
I would say for you, the listeners, I would say, wait for it to stream on one of your platforms when it hits it. And it looks like it's going to be a screen box because they do have a trailer on screen box. So. I don't know. I just saw it today. So it may end up being a screen box. I don't know. Nice. Nice. And I'm glad that you two weren't dismissive. I hope I wasn't dismissive at all. I'm glad you two appreciated.
What was it? Because, yeah, like I said, I think a lot of people could potentially, you know, overlook this one and just be snarky toward it. Tony Konopka, Billy Davis, a lot of these guys in the group over at LOTC really enjoyed it. I mean, what it was. Yeah, it's not a bad film. We're not. And I don't. And I think jail, you know.
back us on this i'm not saying it's a bad film i've seen a lot worse right this one's handled it's just some of those moments that just kind of make you scratch your head and you're just like whatever uh but the effects of the werewolves you want a werewolf this has got it And they're vicious looking and they're fun looking. There's some mean looking ones. So you'll have fun with that. That's right. Yeah. I like how the werewolves kind of look.
different depending on the you know they are they are slightly different which is kind of interesting and i'll talk to you all fair about that yeah okay that sounds funny um but yeah and
What was it? It seemed like there was one other thing to say, though. Dang it. Yeah, for me, man, if they would have just worked with that script a little more. Because, yeah, I love the concept of werewolves in a... in a purge movie i think that's a good a good idea but um yeah and oh the last thing forgive me there's one last thing i really wanted to say this was the number one thing i wanted to say about this movie i i just think it's i think it's so interesting
once again, we have the concept of execution dependent. It's like, um, if somebody pitched this, it's like, yeah, that's okay. That sounds like a decent idea. Like, um, purge, but with werewolves movie, um, And as you said, you both have indicated that the wolves look pretty good and I agree. And so I think because of that, the execution on the practical side of it.
It's good. I mean, work with the script a little bit more. It could have been something different. But yeah, I just think that for people out there looking at filmmaking, horror filmmaking, I think this is an interesting case. to look at where it succeeds versus where it doesn't succeed. And, you know, the whole film is a pie, so to speak. And it's like if you, you know, look at which area of the pie.
needs, you know, more work. I'm not saying it very eloquently, but I hope people can kind of glean my meaning, which is, you know. Anyway, and I guess that's all I got to say about that. I just ran out. And you needed more whipped cream. Yeah, something like that. A little more something, something in the writing department, but otherwise decent. Okay. So that's our review of werewolves. We hope that we were, I know that I feel like we were fair to this movie. And yeah, I hope people.
Check it out at some point, at least, right? Because we don't have that many werewolf movies for some reason. And maybe it's because werewolves are difficult to do. In a low budget genre, which horror often is, right? Agreed. So that's probably what it comes down to. Do you guys know that for Halloween, for multiple years in a row, I was...
A werewolf. I was the wolf man. What? I did not know that. That's true. And I had this pretty cool wolf mask that was pretty scary. And I had... these gloves and what i did was i cut little holes in the tips of the finger and i and i i glued like fur on the back of the gloves And then I put these like long, black, sharp fingernails.
Like I was wearing them on my fingertips and then I put that on through the glove. So the claws stuck out through the end of the glove and they actually look pretty decent. And I did that in my like. junior high years for a few times and it was pretty sweet. So you had the peach fuzz before peach fuzz. I like it. Maybe that's where, maybe that's where Mark got it from. Maybe he saw in West Virginia.
uh yes mr j coming out as a werewolf maybe that's what happened that's right all right well thank you two for uh reviewing werewolves with me and uh let's keep moving on to uh our very special Christmas special feature presentation. All right, at this point, Jay of the Dead here, and I am so pleased because we spent enough time talking about werewolves that we got to the magic... witching hour when the mad doctor dr shock would arrive hi dr shock welcome hello jay hello everyone
Yes. Hey. Hi. Hello. Hello. We still have Greg Amortis and the Twisted Temptress with us as well. And we are here to our feature presentation of the evening. which is a little Christmas movie for everybody. And just so everybody knows, Dr. Shock has not gotten a chance to see this film yet, so we will not be talking. spoilers or anything because we don't want to spoil it for the listeners or for Dr. Shock. So that's just the kind of people we are.
I'm just kidding. That's just the kind of people you are. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so what we have long been waiting to talk about, at least I have. is this film called, it has like 27 different names to it. It's a French film from 1989. And the French title was like 3615 Code Père Noël. Or more commonly, Deadly Games, Dial Code Santa Claus, which is the... vinegar syndrome i have the vinegar syndrome 4k and that's what it says on the title card
I didn't know there was a 4K. That's pretty cool. Yeah, and it looks pretty good. I have a Deadly Games from 1982, but I'm guessing this is a... Yes, it's different. But, yeah. Obviously, it's a title that gets used quite often. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And then it also has other titles as well. It's like, let's see, Father Christmas, A Game Over. hide and freak i mean it's just i don't know but but i think basically though
The most common thing that I've ever heard about this movie is it's essentially, it's much like Home Alone, but it's a horror movie, sort of. And the thing about that is... Let's debunk that a little bit. Home Alone came out in 1990, right? Yep. Yeah, so this preceded that. Now, I'm wondering, I don't know the history of this, and I don't know if you guys know the trivia on that.
But did Deadly Games inspire Home Alone to any degree, do you think? Watch the movie, you would say so. Yeah. But whether it did or not, I do not know. But I would say after watching it, you'd be like. Pretty sure I did. Yeah. You know, it is hard to say because a lot of times there is this phenomenon in Hollywood. Well, not just Hollywood, but in art. But actually, in all of, I think in creative artistic endeavors, there's this phenomenon that happens like...
And this is kind of a tangent, so forgive me for this tangent, you guys, but I do think there's something to this. Like, in the creation of the motion picture... If you kind of trace back through the history of how that came to be, you have these little discoveries happening. at different places in the world at kind of the same time. And of course, a lot of different countries try to take credit for all, no, we were the first, we were the first, but it's really remarkable on something like this.
where it's like these epiphanies happen. Now, my personal beliefs, and I'm not trying to preach to anybody, but it is Christmas after all. No, I'm just kidding. But I will say, I think God... gives light or knowledge and reveals it to humankind from time to time. And I think that's how we get things, you know, over time. That's just my own personal theory. But even, and that's not necessarily the case.
with a movie like this but I'm just saying that like the fact that the movie industry kind of was created at various places around the world sort of at the same time some people copy off each other some people are inspired by other things But even the twin film concept, it's really weird because there will be something out there in the zeitgeist where it's like all of a sudden people are making two different movies about asteroids hitting the earth. And we got to.
Stop that. And then we have, you know, Armageddon and... Deep Impact, right? Deep Impact. Deep Impact, yes. Or we got these volcanic disaster movies. So we get Volcano, where the coast is toast, or Dante's Peak, you know? And so this twin film. concept happens. And because this was over in France and it kind of hit here, I think in 1990 ish deadly games, it's just possible. They may have been inspired, Home Alone people, by this. But honestly, it was probably another one of these phenomena.
where you have just this weird zeitgeist happening. So anyways, blah, blah, blah. You guys, I'm sorry to go through all that. But the only reason I wanted to just say that is Home Alone is a fun Christmas movie. But for my money, I do get annoyed because I like films that are set in reality. I don't like films about plucky kids. taking on adult matters and besting adults. That's why, and I'm sorry, I'm going to make a lot of enemies here. That's why I never got into stranger things.
I mean, when you got a group of plucky kids and they're able to figure it out and, you know, it's like, no, I will. Stomp on kids. I will stomp on them for Christmas. Right? Can I give you a rebuttal? Yeah, go ahead, please. Here's my rebuttal on that. Have you not seen kids with technology? Like, brother. How many times does Spawn probably teach you something about a computer or about your phone?
or about something like kids do this to adults every day like they legit can be like you're racking your brain on trying to figure something out and they walk up here in like two seconds and like oh oh here you go and you're like what the i'm just saying jay that's my that's true That's true. But OK, so Spawn knows a zillion times more things about smartphones than I do. But if I if I stopped paying the cell phone bill.
He would be dead in the water. Just saying. Right? Doc Shock or not? No, that is true. He would not have that cell phone with which to teach you. You come back with the rebuttal. You got me on that one. No, I just, I mean, I'm not trying to be a grumpy old man. He can use Wi-Fi and that's free. But he's still got to have a phone. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You win. No, no, not at all. And if he used Wi-Fi, Jay would stomp him.
That's right. I stomp children. See, Doc Shock and I have long argued about my ability to fight children. It was never your ability to fight children. Jay, and we've had this discussion so many times now. It was, it was you. saying, oh, if a kid's running at me and I could take him down, yes, of course you could. We all could. If a child is running at you,
With a knife or something, 99 times out of 100, you're going to get the better of that situation. That's right. I'm saying it's when a child like your child comes up. Say a little five-year-old. spawn came up and said daddy i don't feel good and would and he wanted you to pick him up yes you pick him up you don't realize he's got a knife in his hand and then he stabs you in the back while you're holding him how are you going to defend against that
Hmm. Or how do you pick up a 16-year-old spawn who is taller than you? Yes. And probably much stronger than you are now. Yes. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend picking him up now anyway. Yes. Yes, he's very formidable now that he's grown. That's the thing. You feed them and they grow and they get stronger. Both of my sons are taller than me. Yeah. My son and daughter, yeah. Yeah, so do you think you could take them if you needed to, though, Dave?
Well, but mine aren't kids anymore. Mine are in their 20s. So it would be quite the same, huh? So no is the answer to now. You'd have to have Jackie. Whip them into shape right now. Yes. Okay. That would probably be the best course of action. Okay. Well, I'm just saying. I'm pretty afraid of her. Yes. Yeah. Because, you know, there's no bear like a mama bear, right? Right, right.
Well, anyways, we digress. I'm sorry. One of my favorite things to talk with Doc Shock about is evil kids and fighting evil kids. Yes. Ankle biters. Ankle biters. They are. Anyways, we have this Deadly Games movie, and I have always heard a lot of infamy behind this movie. I've heard people say... oh yeah, the horror home alone, but this is much more serious, much more hardcore. And maybe I just misheard, but that's the impression I got. And so for the longest time...
This movie, at least for me, it was very difficult for me to get a hold of it. And then finally they came out. I saw they had a 4K. And so I just ordered it based on its infamy. And so this was actually my first viewing of it. It's very pricey, that 4K. Yeah, it is now, yes. Yes. Yeah, it's like almost $50. Yeah, it wasn't that much when I bought it. I forget how much I bought it for. Because, yeah, I don't think I would have paid $50 for a sight unseen. I did, well.
I have done stupid things like that before, but I don't think I did it on this movie. Thank heavens. Well, for instance, buying John Gale three times. Well, yeah, I've purchased that many times for people. Yeah, you're practically an associate producer right now with the money you've shelled out for those three DVDs. That's right. And it sounds like from our text chat earlier, we need to send one to Dave Z as well. Okay, yeah. He has not had the pleasure of seeing John Gell.
Go ahead. Feel free. Do we know where it is now? The new one going around yet? Well, I still have it because, and I'll tell you what I was going to do, and maybe this is wrong. I was waiting on Mac. They get me a fancy case that matches because that's what he did last time. I thought you were going to say maybe this is wrong, but I was going to forge all your signatures. Yeah, that's another. That's another. Well, another thing I thought about, and this is so ridiculous.
Because I feel so, John C. has been so gracious about waiting on this prize that I thought about mailing this one to him just so he has it. And then getting him an autographed one in a year or two, however long that takes us to do it. However long it takes and whoever has it and whoever had it and it ended up in the twilight zone. Yeah, because I just feel bad about that. But anyways.
Do you really think he's chomping at the bit to see John go? Well, he said he will gladly and receive, like he is looking forward to it, but he was also very gracious and patient with us about the time it was taking. And as a matter of fact, when that first started making the rounds, weren't there only like five hosts? Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, it was different. So if it's over a year for five hosts, more than a year.
years almost two years now isn't it yeah it's been a while it's been a while this is almost like our mascot The Jan Gall disc that needs to be autographed. Yeah. If we could find the original anyway. It was pre because it's before I joined. So this was pre. Yeah, it's way back when. As a matter of fact, wasn't this our giveaway on the premiere episode? It was early. It was really early. And poor John C.
I just feel bad for John C. because he's been just so awesome. But props to John C. So anyway, speaking of Christmas presents, maybe it'll be his Christmas present. For Christmas 2025. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. So, anyways, back to Deadly Games. Yeah. So, this is written and directed by Rene Mansoor. And... Essentially, you've got a rich kid who's kind of a brat face, in my opinion. This rich kid who is preparing and excited about Christmas Eve.
His mother is the, she's kind of like the boss lady at this. Is it an apartment store, you guys? Like, what is it? She's the boss of. Toy stores. She's got a bunch. Thank you. Yeah, she's like the big cheese. She's a female Santa Claus. She has to... Go work. What did you say, Pearl? Sorry. Oh, no, I got you. She's the CEO. Yeah, the CEO. That's right. And she has to go work on Christmas Eve. And so she's going to be out of the house. Meanwhile, we have this boy in his name. He's 10 years old.
And his name is Thomas. And he has like an awful, awful haircut. The 1989, well, essentially it's the Billy Ray Cyrus haircut, right? Where it's like a mullet in the back and then a super high long spike on top. He was rocking it, dude. This kid was rocking it. Yeah, he's rocking it. And then his grandpa lives there as well. And you guys tell me, I think they were riffing on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Grandpa Joe. Yeah.
Right? Pearl was saying that through the whole movie. Like, that looks like Willy Wonka's. Yeah. Yeah. They were totally doing that. And in fact, we got some creative montages right at the beginning. We get a creative montage that riffs. on 80s action movies, specifically Rambo and stuff. So you can tell that the filmmakers here definitely have an affection for American cinema. That's nice and that's cool. But at the same time, also...
For me, a little distracting in a so-called horror movie. Now, do you guys think this is a horror comedy? No. I don't think comedy, I don't, this doesn't have for me a lot of, I mean, it becomes comedic because of what's happening, but I don't think it's more, I think it's more of a drama with an adult humor to it, right? Because I don't think younger kids, it's not like a ha-ha laugh.
laugh you know have fun type comedy this is more this serious take on it in my opinion i don't see it being a lot of comedy yeah okay yeah i mean there is something about it um You're right. It's not blatant comedy, but there is a weird quirkiness. And perhaps, I don't know, I could be wrong about this. Maybe it's a French sensibility. Maybe it's because I'm not from France. But there's something quirky.
in it where the tones are really weirdly mismatched you got this I mean you've got these creative montages where like for example let me think Nope. That was the movie we're going to be discussing with Doc Shock next. That's the problem with watching two movies back to back. I was thinking of an Ethel sequence there, Dave. Oh, wow. You're confusing it. An 80s French film...
With Crazy Fat Ethel. Yes, yes. Those two movies have run together for you. Yes, because there is a shopping sequence in Crazy Fat Ethel where they play it.
you know faster like they run it faster and it's got silly music and there are so many creative montages and deadly games here it kind of gets silly like that so you did the two women shopping you confused with grandpa Joe and the little kid shopping is that what it is yeah and his little like Rambo sequence and his training and they do like you know and I have a tiger riff and stuff like that but anyways blah blah blah so that's kind of the setup here we've got this
boy he's there on Christmas Eve and the mom who's the CEO of this toy store she ticks off a Santa Claus at the store and he's kind of emotionally unstable And, you know, she's also rich, of course. And so the Santa Claus decides to hitch a ride along with the boy's big toy delivery that his mom has sent to the house. And the Santa is there to terrorize. This kid.
Of course, the kid is very resourceful. So did I miss anything, you guys, in terms of the premise? But, you know, you basically got a kid who's essentially home alone because the grandpa is pretty old. Well, he's diabetic. I can't see. Yeah. Yeah. So essentially, and then, you know, you got this mentally unstable Santa who is preying upon him, basically trying to terrorize him, but he's.
you know, fighting back. And so that's kind of the premise of this movie. So Pearl, what are your thoughts on deadly games? I had fun with it as well. You know, I thought I was watching G.I. Joe with a little taste of first blood in a kid. I did. And the reason I had fun with it was because when I know I'm going to watch a movie that the main character is a kid, then I know that I got to watch this movie in the eyes of a kid.
and put myself in that position so I can understand what's going on, even though it was a little too MacGyver. But it was still a good movie. I liked this movie. Okay. So it sounds like you had fun. And I think that's very wise of you because obviously what you said about when you watch a film where the lead is a kid.
you decide to watch it through the eyes of a child because, yeah, that's who they're trying to get us to identify with in the lead role. So perhaps it was aimed at kids. So do you think this is aimed at kids? I wouldn't want, well, if I had kids, I wouldn't want to train them to do this. Right. They learn quick. But I don't know. So maybe not little kids, but maybe like tweens, you know, like kids that are like, I don't know, from 12 to 15 might dig this. That'd be more okay.
Not little ones. I don't want booby traps in the house or like the mom says, Swiss cheese. Right. That's right. Making holes everywhere. Do you remember the toy with Richard Pryor? Yes. Love that movie. Yeah. There's something about this that gives me a vibe of the toy because the kid's so rich and he has so many different toys that he can use. But anyways. Okay. Well, thank you. What about you, Greg and Morris? How do you feel about Deadly Games?
I love this movie, dude. This movie is my kind of movie, and it's cheesy. It's got so much going against it, but I love it. It's such a pain in the arse. It's one of those deals where you're watching it and we have... You definitely see Home Alone influence or, well, it was before that, so it wouldn't be that. But you have a Home Alone feel. Even if you go on the eBay and you look up this movie on 4K.
Actually, I went on Diabolic DVD. I'm sorry. Diabolic DVD, who sells movies, right? If you go on there and you look up Deadly Games, it's out of stock right at the moment. More coming soon for $30, Dave, if you want it. $30. 4K. here's what it says in the tags it has a bunch of names and then it even says right there home alone it's even in the tag so they even put it for uh on diabolic so that's how obvious but uh you know what i will check that out yeah that that's a much better price
Yeah, $30, 4K, more coming soon. So for me, here it is. It's got the Rambo. It's got Rocky influence with a little musical cue. I think, Jay, you know where I'm at. It's got... espionage this has got suspense this has got killer santa claus like dude this is so much fun and the music in this one is phenomenal i love the annoyance of the music so much
that i actually went on ebay day ij and dave and pearl and i looked up and vinegar syndrome released the vinyl soundtrack and this person on ebay has three of them for 20 bucks sealed brand new I got to have it because one of the songs, Dave, you're going to like this. One of the songs, which is one of the soundtracks called Merry Christmas, Jane. I think you know which song it is. Oh, yeah. Bonnie Tyler. Yes. Hello.
oh good soundtrack dude i've got nice all right and it's on ebay you said for 20 20 bucks And the person at 99.9%. Oh, yeah. I'm assuming Vinegar Syndrome sells it too, so I have not even looked up Vinegar's website. They may have a cheaper Black Friday, but I want this one. dude i love it jay i will buy this movie i don't own it i've seen it twice now three two or three times we actually reviewed it back on land of the creeps way back dave you were not able to watch the movie But episode 271.
We did our Christmas four and Brian Scott was our guest. And we talked to that one. And Dave, you did not watch that one. You did watch puppet master versus demonic toys. And time well spent. Yeah. You were not on Santa versus the devil. You were not on December. You did watch a Christmas horror story and you did watch wind chill and you. did not watch home for the holidays and you did not watch the advent calendar so there you watch two of the
Jesus God, we reviewed about 100 movies on that episode. I'll link that in the show notes so people can hear it. Way back in 271. Yeah, way back, which would have been the date was actually... December 28, 2021. Wow. And Brian Scott gave this movie a 10. There you go. Brian Scott. He would. Poor movie fan. Boy, I love it, dude. I love him, too. I love this movie, Jay. I said all that to say this. This is God.
A lot of fun, goofy parts in it. You're going to scratch your head. You're going to be like, I know where you're coming from, Jay, because if you go into this with any kind of sense and knowledge, you're going to be scratching your head. so pissed like there's no way this little kid is doing what all he's doing and i'm treading lightly to not give anything away but it's it's probably one of the most unbelievable movies
As far as putting it in aspect of what a human being could do at that age. Like, there's no way. But still. Yeah. Well, OK, so a couple of things here. Dave Z, when he heard we were going to be doing this, he's like. I think he's just like, I don't like that movie. And so that that worried me. Right. Because he and I have similar sensibilities. But I, you know, I've heard so many good things. I went in with an open mind and, you know, ready to enjoy this. And I will say.
And this is what I want Doc Shock to know as he's considering purchasing this. The Santa, who's played by Patrick Florsheim, this Santa dude. is so creepy to me because this actor's performance is tremendous. I just feel like this dude, there's something about his screen presence where he's a little creepy, but he's also... As the film unfolds, you realize, and this is not a spoiler at all, but you realize this dude is not right in the head. He is kind of mentally...
Well, yeah, and he's kind of unhinged as well. And I won't reveal any spoilers, but as we see what he's doing and his kind of his motivation and what his goals are, it becomes even more creepy. So I love... Love, love. The Santa side of this. If you looked at Santa Claus like Christmas Evil and Don't Open Till Christmas, where would you rank this Santa Claus up against the others as scary and creepy?
I actually, you're not going to believe this. I actually think this Santa is my favorite creepy Santa. I agree. Minus the one from Tales from the Crypt. The little segment they did with Santa Claus with Axe Murderer. Oh, okay. I really like that one. But no, this one, I back it, dude. What about you, Pearl? Because I back it. I think it's one of the scariest Santa Claus. This one was creepy indeed because you can see the darkness behind his eyes. He just had that frozen skin.
there that you just didn't know what to expect. So that's what makes it creepy. Yeah. What is his name? Del Drake or from the Tales from the Crypt? Oh, shoot. Darkman, Dave. Larry Drake. Larry Drake. Yeah. For me, he's the scariest one because he just really looked demented and, you know, all he wanted was out for good. Mm-hmm.
that must have been a remake of the actual movie tales uh from the crypt you know the anthology because the first one with that i think had joe collins in it with a santa who had escaped and It is. This was the series when they came out with the seven, eight season TV series. Yes. Yes. With Larry Drake. OK, nice. Need to watch that. Yeah. OK, so that's the the Santa side of it, though. But what I want Doc Shock to know is that the kids side of it...
100% ruins it for me, really ruins it. And I think Pearl and Greg have the right approach to this film, which is to go and have fun, look at it through the eyes of a child, you know. But the thing is, guys, what if, I know, review the movie you saw, not the movie you wanted to see. I know, I know. But let me just say this. There's something that the writer, Rene Munzoir, hit on.
That was really good, which this kid is right at the age where he's starting to question. He's not 100% sure whether he still believes in Santa. And so when he sees this dude come down the chimney dressed as Santa. He's like filled with wonder, right? And like, that's really exciting. And the fact that this kid the entire time believes that this is actually Santa.
There's something really messed up about that and really troubling. And so I feel like if we had that childlike innocence where we had the scariness of, hey, this is a little 10-year-old kid. Who is expecting a benevolent Santa that gives gifts and stuff. And he ends up getting this crazy Santa. Like that would be so upsetting. But the fact that this little jackass is dressed like Rambo. Oh.
And he has Rambo and Rocky type sequences. It just kills it for me. It totally torpedoes this whole thing. And I'm like super like, oh, man. So how are you feeling? feeling about what we're saying I mean do you where do you think you would Fall on this, Dave. I'm looking for this 4K. I want to get this. I want to say it. Especially with what you're saying ruins it for you, Jay, because that's usually the stuff that makes it for me. So I don't have to. Absolutely.
Dave, check this out. I will go on record. And once you see it, Dave, I want you to rate it because I will promise. You, the listeners, Dave will be at least an 8.85 on this movie. I promise. I guarantee it. Wow. I guarantee it, Jay. Dave will be at least an 8 to an 8.5 on this movie. Dang. Okay. Well, I... Doc. what oh
I mean... Don't listen to Jay. He's being an old poobah right now. He's being an old turd. Listen to Greg Amortis and Pearl. I'm telling you, this is a lot of fun. There's a lot of action. There is some really... good action sequences in this there's some explosions there's some Different things. Let's say some darts are used in this in a mysterious, weird way that was cool. There's some really cool things that goes on in this movie. You're really going to love this movie.
Don't listen to Poo-Bajay. That's it. I'm sending another... So far, humbug, you screwed. I'm sending another bitey dinosaur to Pearl so she can have one. So she can have one for both hands to attack you with. Daisy, Ron Martin will hate this movie. Absolutely. I think you already said Daisy's seen it. And I'm with Dave Z, because here's the other thing on it, and I'll just put this out there.
I actually prefer Home Alone because the Macaulay Culkin character, Kevin, he at least when he's preparing his traps and all that stuff, he goes through and he has. time to prepare it. And of course he wouldn't have enough time to prepare it. This isn't like, um,
You know, it was Nightmare on Elm Street, the first one where Nancy. Nightmare on Elm Street where in 20 minutes you have the entire house rigged. That's right. And this is sort of what happens, you know, in Home Alone. But no, this kid, Dave, just so you know. This kid can prepare these amazing traps and battle strategies on the fly in the midst of things. So it's not even like he gets a sequence to just prepare a bunch in a row. He prepares it as he goes. And I'm like, yeah, right.
bro no jay a lot of this was already preset because this house already has mazes and trap doors and he's just re this is how we're introduced to him as yes jay come on you didn't watch the same movie. I'm pulling a date on you tonight. Jay, come on. This guy already had this house set for like a month.
or a carnival you're trying to tell me that macaulay caulk and kevin in a couple hours time is able to draw a freaking map and have like cart you know crayon drawing of this whole thing he's going to do and then he's able to do all these things in a couple hours time come on I'm just saying not while he's buying toothbrushes and making macaroni and cheese and eating
Pizza. He don't have enough time to do all that. Well, similarly, and I won't go into what he does, but this kid also does a number of things that's akin to buying toothbrushes and. And doing all this other stuff, which is really funny and odd. This movie's weird, man. It's quirky. It's bizarre. And I feel bad for this Patrick Florsheim that his creepy Santa Claus wasn't in a...
a better horror movie, I guess. Can I bring this into something? Can I bring this into one thing? Please, go ahead. Can we talk about, for a second, Alain Lalain, who is the kid? Yes. Can we talk about what he did? recently or within the last 15 years? Go for it. He's going to tie in with us Avengers. Did you know that? No, I didn't.
Did not know that because he has gone on to be a producer, not a producer now, a visual effects producer, right? So he has done such things as the Batman. He was the visual effects. Artist in that as far as a producer. Wow. Executive producer, I should say. Rebel Moon, Aquaman in the Lost Kingdom. OK, so let's roll down. Now, listen, this is big time, guys. He has also done Meg, too.
The Suicide Squad, Black Widow, X-Men. There's the tie-in with Avengers. I'm telling you, dude, he has done a lot of stuff. So I'm just saying. Nice. It actually went on and done some stuff. So there you go. That's good. Yeah, that's good. See, he knew what he was doing, Jay. Well, I'm glad he got out of acting. I'll say that. You know, he's behind the camera, which is good.
but anyways all right anything else you guys want to moments in this movie like tears and just like oh this is such a beautiful hallmark movie jay you know no one addressed The very first main concern that the mother knows her kid well enough that he's so MacGyver that she allows this little kid. To take care of the sick grandpa all by himself. Yeah, that's pretty interesting. The most unbelievable thing is that there's a company where the CEO goes into work and everybody else stays home.
Usually the CEO has someone else go to work for them. Yeah. so true yeah what yeah she's she's interesting so this film is i don't know like i can definitely see i can definitely see why it's fun to people and it does have that Christmassy magic. You know how Silent Night, Deadly Night, you can see a lot of the early 80s toys in the toy store there. You can see the Castle Grayskull.
From He-Man, the He-Man toys in this movie, which is pretty cool. That's kind of neat. But yeah, I mean, it's, you know, so. I guess I'm glad I've seen it. But go ahead, Dave. That was one of the things I liked about the movie Elf is that they had a Santa's workshop where they were making actual toys that you could recognize.
You know, and all those Rankin Bass specials, they're making like wooden trains. What kid's going to want to get a wooden train? That's right. That's right. And you'll be happy to know, Doc Shock, that there is a train. a toy train scene and deadly games that you might appreciate. Yeah. Very cool. There is, I just want to say there is one.
awesome kill sequence that i love there's one particular one in particular that i love and it's the first one because it's upsetting and and i i'm like yeah okay this movie is gonna deliver what i've heard but it doesn't It doesn't quite reach that same level after that initial first one that we get to see. So I'll just leave it at that. But I do love that initial kill scene because it is so like, because I like disturbing stuff, you guys. It's very disturbing. Yes. So I'm not an ogre per se.
But I'm just saying. No, you're not an ogre per se. You love kill scenes and you don't like kids. That's right. The world doesn't make you an ogre. She's biting her tongue so she don't give away nothing tonight. I know, right? That's right. Fuller free, but she's going to talk to you after we get off air. I know. I'm going to be in trouble for that, I bet. And anyways, okay. Anything else you guys want to say before we wrap up with final thoughts and ratings?
Nope. Okay. All right. Since I'm the grumpiest on this one, I guess I'll just start it off so you guys can give your high ratings at the end there. So Deadly Games, this has not...
delivered what I've heard except for the fact that it is much like Home Alone. There were way more things in Home Alone that made me wince and feel squeamish i mean there are some injuries in home alone that are absolute brutality and um i would pick home alone over this film any day except for the fact that i love that santa man so all my my entire rating all my points go toward him so I'm coming in at a 5.5 out of 10, and I call this a low-priority Christmastime rental. Okay.
Greg Amortis, what say you? You're a mean one, Mr. Greg. Right. That's right. Greg? Okay, I'm sorry.
Don't believe anything Jay just said. Listen to Papa Mortis over here, and we're going to walk you through this thing. This movie is a nine, and there's a reason that this is a nine. This movie, if you love Christmas horror... gives you a santa claus that is scary that is creepy and you do have a kill or so in this and this has not got a body count so don't go into it thinking of that but it's definitely a home alone feel it's got a freaking
amazing fun soundtrack that can be annoying but at the same time that annoyance i fell in love with I'm going to have to get the soundtrack. I will be buying this movie. I'm going to have to buy this movie off Jason since he's clearly not going to ever like this movie. I'm going to send Jason money and he can send me that 4K instead of sitting on his shelf collecting dust.
actually watch it jay uh no this movie's a nine man i love this movie so much nice all right thank you and this is so it's a buy for you right oh yeah okay not fifty dollar buy But the $20, $29, I would probably, for 4K, I'd probably do that. Okay. I don't know if you need a 4K, though. If you can find a Blu-ray for cheaper, I'd roll with Blu-ray.
I will say the 4K looks really good. I mean, for its era, I mean, it wasn't filmed in high definition or whatever, but I mean, it looks very crisp to the extent. Well, you said this is vinegar syndrome, correct? Yes. So I'm assuming there are some bonus features on here. Yes, but I didn't have any time to go through any of that. Sorry. Sorry, listeners. Bonnie Tyler music video in there, it's worth it. Bye. There you go.
Her song, that Merry Christmas song in there, is really great. I love that. That's a great little plus. Okay. Twisted Temptress, bring us home on this. You know what? I admire the Santa as well. And points go to him. Points also will go to actually the grandpa for dealing with what he had to deal with and still being able to... Let's just say shoot blindly. But I'm going to give this an eight.
Okay. And I don't have to purchase this because I live with the buyer. That's right. Dave, if it helps you, Bill gave it a 7.5. That's pretty high for Bill. For Bill, that is pretty high, yes. Okay. There you go. Well, Dave, now that you've heard us, are you going to fit this into your Christmas watch list? I think I'm going to have to, yes. I'm going to have to. And you're not doing Shudder right now, right? Because I know for the longest time, like I said, this was...
Kind of tricky to find, but I believe it is streaming on Shudder for the listeners out there. I do have Shudder. Oh, do you? I still have Shudder, yes. Oh, cool. Yeah, it's on there. Yeah, so you can watch it on there, David. And actually, it looks like it's free on Amazon. Oh, for people who have Prime? Nice. Yeah, for people who have Prime, it looks like it's free. okay that might be because you have shutter though amazon oh maybe yeah stream now with prime let me just
Pull it up. Yeah, it comes up with a watch now. It doesn't even look like it's making you purchase this. There you go. Let everybody say streaming. Oh, you need an AMC Plus subscription. And this is one of the things I... signed i can't wait until the lists are over for 2024 and i can go look at all the crappy subscriptions i have through amazon and cancel them yes yes amen all right listeners well that is our review of uh
deadly games such as it is and i guess everybody can just yell at me but uh but dave z i'm with you brother so there it is and uh merry christmas we have one more crazy review coming to you courtesy of Doc Shock. So everybody buckle up because you ain't heard anything quite like this. The final cut.
All right, and Jay of the Dead here, and I am so happy to bring you this The Final Cut segment here, and I don't often have... cohorts with me during the final cut but I'm just so pleased because Dr. Shock is going to be leading us through the final cut and we have Greg Amortis and the Twisted Temptress with us waiting in the wings they can give us common Terry from the peanut gallery even though they have not had the pleasure of seeing this film but Doc Shock before you take over
Would you mind explaining, as you introduce this remarkable gem you've discovered, will you introduce where this came from? Because where I'm coming from is, you said something about reviewing it. The title was... like when I heard that title I'm like I'm in and I bought it just I bought the DVD sight unseen just so I could review it with you and that's all I know but where did you get this brother and what what is the name of the movie
Well, the first, let's start with that. The name of the movie, and this is what caught my attention, Crazy Fat Ethel, is the name of this movie. It's from 2016, written and directed by Brian Dorton. or co-written by Brian Dorton and directed by him. Where did I find this? I was in at the Video Bonanza video store at the Quaggertown Farmer's Market, and I took a picture and I sent it to the group chat saying, I think I need to buy this movie.
Something I did not point out at that time, though, I did not buy the movie initially. And I was walking around the store and people were getting back to me via text. And I'm pretty sure Jay got back saying, I just bought it. I'm in. I said, well, I guess I'm buying Crazy Fat Apple. So I went back and bought it. You know, but it is one of those titles. You're looking like, OK, this is this is this is going to be something. And OK, I'll just set it up real quick here. This is the IMDb synopsis.
After years in a mental institution, Ethel, and Ethel is played by Dixie Gers, I want to say, is taken in by her aunt. Although many people, including the institution's head nurse and a local detective, believe that discharging her was a huge mistake. And they actually have a point. It is listed as a comedy horror, not that they have other sort of genres. It's a slasher horror.
which I think might have been what led Dave Z to add it to one of his watch lists. I don't think he's gotten to it yet, but he had added it as well since it's listed as a slasher horror. And it definitely is that. Just to set it up, it opens up with Ethel is in this institution. She's been given an egg for breakfast and I think dried toast or something. And it was a hard boiled egg and two fellow inmates at this.
Asylum, I guess, come over and funny how the asylum from the outside looks like a factory, but never mind. And comes over and they mess a breakfast stop and everything. um you know i'm not going to be able to do this with the whole movie because this is really just a series of sequences like It's just basically kill scenes. After a certain time, it just becomes kill scenes. And it's like, how they find this place that they live, that she lived with her aunt, is beyond me. But anyway, Ethel...
at one point, is raped by two of the orderlies. She goes to the doctor and says, hey, I'm accusing your two orderlies of rape. If you don't get me, let me out of here early. And it doesn't look like it's going to work, but then somehow it does because the aunt comes and picks her up. And even the nurse is saying it was a mistake. She should not have been released. The doctor made a mistake.
And the aunt's like, well, can I just take her home? Well, sure. And it was very strange the way they released her because it seemed like nobody was going to release her. And then all of a sudden she's released. But anyway, the one thing you don't want to do. apparently, is come between Ethel and her food.
They have a whole scene like, and it's funny because the dramatic music plays throughout this movie, you know, like the boom, boom, boom, boom, like the really sort of, you know, spooky things are around the corner. And it plays during the... Ethel cooking breakfast scene which we get to watch her make her entire breakfast this movie is an hour and 21 minutes it could have been cut down to half that
With all the padding that they put into this thing. Like, did we really need the aunt and neighbor shopping montage? Well, not the montage, but the dialogue with the aunt and neighbor. oh yeah that was pretty impressive huh Well, are you saying it wasn't? Well, what about it? Knocked your socks off. OK, well, let me let me see. Well, first of all, I'm trying to find because I wrote down some quotes in this. OK, because I actually. love the first half of this film.
I loved the dialogue and like the weird stuff they would say, like really, really bizarre. Strange. Yes, that's it was very strange. Yeah, let me. OK, OK. I know. I know what it was. Let's see. What's that called? Oh, I was looking for a keyword. So let me, as I'm looking, forgive me everybody for stalling. This was filmed in Kentucky with a lot of local people. And because of that.
It just so happens that part of the world, their accent sounds a lot like my family. So the way these people talk, you know, like I'm talking about their. Their accent and everything. Yeah. It reminded me so much of like my family and kind of where I'm where I'm from, even though I'm not quite from Kentucky, but it's just close enough. And so I that part was great. But let me.
Dang it. There are these little kids. OK, in the beginning, that's where we were. So it's the little kids who sing the song. Yeah. Like, OK, so there is these little kids. Yeah. When we first see these little kids, I finally found the dialogue. Forgive me. You hear one kid say. I'm looking for cigarette butts. And this girl's just looking around on the ground. And then she's like, F it. Let's go get some cream horns. It's just so weird. And then when they first see Crazy Fat Ethel, it's like...
look at her thyroid. And it's like, as if you can actually, now I know that I know it's not, this probably not translating, but what I'm saying is you hear really quirky, odd things that these people are saying. saying. And it just makes me think that at least in the first half of the film, some thought actually went into making these characters communicate with each other.
Do you disagree with that or not, Dave? No, I don't. I'm not going to disagree with you because I don't think, you know, the setup for this you would think would be, and it was something you brought up in the chat with our fellow Avengers, like Jean Gale. This is a superior movie to John Gall by quite a bit. Yes, yes. it's it's quite a bit better than than john gell i mean you know john gell was they had no idea what was gonna gonna happen in that movie now there are scenes in this
where it sort of feels as if, okay, maybe they're sort of making it up on the fly. Yeah. But then you get some... What I would say for a movie that looks like it was shot, you know, with the budget was a Visa card that that had a thousand dollar limit on it or something is what it looked like. They did some.
interesting things especially you know with the with the gore and whatnot you know you're looking at effects but yeah at this by the same token i've seen a lot worse yeah you know so i think they did a good job with that as well the acting is not going
to be there. I mean, this is, this is a, you know, it's, it's a, this is one that you had mentioned how you, in the chat that you think Joel should chat. I think he should, because this is like a regional horror that he's really into. I'm pretty sure it was. It looked like it was shot on video. So this is one I think Joel would really be interested in. Yeah, well, I do want to turn it over to you as well. But I think one, but it does eventually get to the point where it's just.
a bunch of kills and you're like why do people keep walking into this house first off how did that orderly know where the hell she lived To just walk, to just say, oh, I'm coming and then just walk there. Well, this is like this is the most like this is the most famous house in town or something. I just assume that the orderly, you know, at the facility, they would have had her address on file, her home. Right or not?
Well, he but he was on the phone trying to get a hold of this woman on going out the door. OK, I still can't get you. I'm coming to get you. So I don't think they didn't. And this is a movie that showed you everything. They didn't show the orderly looking up. address scene right and because they really do show you everything else like when you watch i'm when i say ethel making breakfast we're watching her make the whole damn breakfast
Like it's about a four minute scene of her just making breakfast. Oh, wow. We were we just entered bizarro world, Dave, because now we flipped. We're on opposite sides of the spectrum now. Like you remember the dorm that drip blood argument where. I was like complaining that they spent time talking about their chores for Christmas break. Now we've like switched spots and I felt like the breakfast scene wasn't that long.
It felt like it was. It felt like it because the bacon was raw when she put it in the pan. And by the time the scene was done, she was putting it onto her plate. Cinema is a reductive medium. And then we saw her put all four pieces of bread. One at a time into the toaster and push it down. She left a lot of eggs in that pan. Boy, a lot of eggs stuck to that pan. She might have wanted to maybe put some nonstick spray in that bitch.
because that thing was she wasn't gonna that pan wasn't getting clean anytime soon um but and this is all you saw all of this you saw all of this going on it really and i think in this movie like It had some padding to it toward the beginning. I think it had some padding to it where they're like, you know what? We got maybe about 50 minutes. We got to pad this a little bit. Like the aunt and the aunt and the friend talking in the car.
And I want to get a cake. You know, we're going to get a cake. And then the shopping. Now, they did it in fast motion like Benny Hill style. Yes. When they were shopping. But they still showed him like looking at different things. And then when they got back in the car, well, I bought this and I bought that and I bought Ethel a blouse and I bought that cake that I wanted. And you're just kind of like, OK, is there a. And then.
OK, let's get to the sex scene at the beginning of this. Oh, yes. Let's let's do that. Now, this is happening while Ethel is being raped. Another patient at this asylum. Goes down, pulls her top off and seduces the chef who or the cook, not a chef, for God's sake. I don't even know if he's a cook. He's a guy who puts the food on him in the cafeteria. He serves. Yes. And they're having sex on the floor. This is not to attractive people.
Yeah. Having sex. Yeah. I mean, we're not we're not here to shame anybody. But like like, for example, you wouldn't cast me to be naked in a sex scene. And I think it was surprising that they. you know, that they put these people naked in a sexy. And yet they did. And there it is. And yet they did. And it had nothing to do with anything.
It's just a sex scene because it had nothing to do with anything else that was going on. But let me just say, Dave, and this is where – see, I feel like, brother – You're underselling the film a tiny bit by talking about the egg preparation. When what you should be talking about is all of the outrageousness that happens in this film. Like those random.
are scenes like that um there there is a good bit of like nudity slash sexual material in this for some reason and a lot of times in regional horror films i mean because we're not talking about porno films here A lot of times you don't really get that because they don't have the budget to pay people to get naked, nor do they have the casting to pay, you know.
People who would typically pose for new things. Yes, that's very true. But you have it in this film for some reason. For some reason that doesn't have anything to do with Ethel or her story. Right. You know, and I loved the one scene where the guys there with the was a Beth's boyfriend or Beth's pimp. Yes. Is in a room with another woman and we get the cooterized shot of you shot. We have to talk about this, listeners. So we have to because this is this is very important. And this is a.
A mild spoiler, but you've got to hear what we're talking about. This woman comes in and people are going to think very low of me when they hear this. I'm sorry. I review films. I'm a film critic. That's what I do. So people can judge. But here goes, Dave. I mean, what better way to celebrate Christmas than to talk about this? Yes. This woman comes.
And she pulls down her pants. And on her butt cheeks, on the left side, it says lunch. And on the right side, it says dinner. Like tattooed on her butt. And then we see the guy there, and he says – What he says is actually kind of funny. Yeah. Is it OK if I – Yeah, go for it. So he says, and I quote, he says – I don't eat between meals, baby, but I'm going to have to make an exception this time around. And then the most shocking thing, Greg and Pearl, is the camera, okay? The camera.
is presumably situated. It is shot from inside of her butt. And we see this dude. you know, with doing licking motions with his tongue. Yeah. Just like the dentist mouth. Yes. Yeah. Something like that. Yes. Something like that. Yes. Now, now. obviously everybody like the camera isn't I mean they don't show any of the
I mean, it's not as graphic as we're making it sound. All you really see is on her butt cheeks, she's got these two tattoos that say lunch and dinner. And then you just get this camera angle that's like... horrendous and you're like yeah oh my goodness we are we are filming from inside this woman's butt and as dave said
For no apparent reason pertaining to the plot whatsoever. It has nothing to do with Ethel or anything that's going on in the movie. Except that this guy eventually is tied into her cousin, Beth. But now I will say they actually call attention to something and they call attention to the fact that it's a movie because after these two have had sex, they're laying there and the woman's all covered up.
And the guy said, you know what I hate in movies? When two people have had sex, they've clearly just had sex. And the woman's got her tits covered and he pulls the blanket off to expose her breasts. Yes. Yeah, I mean, it's wacky, right? And then there's a dream sequence, which I went nuts over. And I usually hate dream sequences, but Mr. Watson, hear me out.
Yes, go for it. Hear me out. We've got double pig-headed horror in the dream sequence here. In the dream sequence. Just saying. Just saying. That's pretty cool. Mm-hmm. That was a... Probably the most, I think the best scene in the dream sequence. I don't necessarily love the Mary Tyler Moore spinning around in a cemetery. No. You know, like from the opening credits of Mary Tyler Moore when she's been around. All of a sudden, Ethel's doing that in a cemetery. And the dream sequences.
You know, it's not like they were something new. They had two of them, if I'm not mistaken, in the movie. We had two dream sequences. Yeah. But this one with the pig stuff is somewhat artistically done. It is. I liked that one. And they had actual, so in addition to the fake pig masks, they did have actual pig parts from a butcher shop. And they had a pig head on the table. And so the one pig character goes to the eye. This is so bizarre.
goes to the eyes of this pig head, and then just starts digging his fingers into the pig eyes, and they're showing all this. Into the real pig's head eyes. It's so bizarre. It's very strange. And wild. Now, I understand, actually, I misspoke earlier. Pearl has actually seen this movie before, but she had forgotten about it. So I'm sorry I misspoke on that, Pearl. Now, Pearl, what...
Is any of this coming back to you as we talk about it? Yes. I think I'm remembering why I forgot all this. Because you blocked it out of your mind. Yeah, because right now I'm thinking, if I'm not mistaken, there's a crazy wine bottle scene. Oh, yes. Yes. And I'm like, oh, crap. I'm remembering this movie. I'm like, oh, yes. I laughed out loud. Actually, I laughed out loud many times.
But the wine bottle scene, because it reminded me of, you know, for people who know the film Gutterballs, we have a similar sequence in Gutterballs somewhat. it's horrendous. And it's just like, why, why is this? Wow. You know? So I just feel like this is the kind of movie, like, for example. the geek cast live podcast with Ryan on movie podcast weekly. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell these guys that they need to watch this movie and I think it'll be a really funny joke.
To have them exposed to this, right? Right. I mean, of course. You know what, Jay? Because I said to Jackie. I had to turn over from she was watching the Hallmark Channel, so I had to switch over to watch this movie before we recorded the night. And I said, look, just to let you know, Jay said this is not one. I said this. I said jokingly, Jay, would you recommend Jackie watches? And you went, no way. Like with all with like three exclamation marks after it.
And I said, this is not, you know, a movie. Well, she came back in the room literally seconds before the sex scene and the rape scene. What are you watching here? I said, I told you it's not for you. You didn't come off as a crazy man at all. I'm going to use that next time I get in trouble for watching something. I told you it's not for you. Right. That's hilarious. How much planer can I be? And then she sat and watched the last half hour of it with me.
She got out. She left for a while. I love thinking back and watch the last half hour with me. And she goes, oh, this is gruesome. I can't even. And then the music starts playing at the end. She goes, even this music is awful. Yes. Because it sounds like heavy metal. I said, well, it's because it is. heavy metal it's probably why it sounds like that very heavy yes but here's the thing dave this and i'm i know i'm gonna sound like a crazy person this movie almost works
I don't disagree with you on that. It almost works. But there's – it's not quite – it just has too much of that – like a lot of things happen aside from Ethel. Yeah. And it is some of it is some of it is pretty interesting, like the view we got from that camera. And then the guy telling the girl, she's like, oh, I'll see you again. And he's like, no, probably not. You had bad breath. I could barely kiss you.
Yeah, like random stuff like that. And I know you were talking about the aunt and her friend, which, by the way, the aunt is the best actress in this. I loved her performance. I don't disagree with. I think she did. I think she did a pretty good job. You know, I mean, sometimes in these kind of movies, like saying the actor did like this one actor in this kind of movie did a good job is like saying, OK, it's the most polished turd in the bowl. But.
Not in this case. I think she was legitimately pretty good. Absolutely. Yeah. And so like when they were talking about the.
That recipe with putting the Coke in the... She's like, cakes are so moist that you put a Coca-Cola in the cake and it's moist. And even though I'm a Coca-Cola man, so of course that appealed to me. But it's just hilarious how random... and out of place so anyway my concluding thoughts on this Dave the reason I think it almost works is because we've got an interesting character who is what I love about her character is she's actually
In the beginning, she's pretty even keel and she's pretty unexcitable. And we have a really great rat scene in this movie with her. Yeah. What was that? Holy. And I just love how this rat sequence, like she is just unfazed by everything she is doing, regardless of how horrific it is. Now, later in the film. As the kill scenes kind of like become more frequent and everything ramps up, she gets a little more unhinged.
And then she's not as interesting to me or as entertaining because we've seen a ton of unhinged people. But the fact that in the beginning, she is just simply, you know. pretty even if people aren't messing with her food, but then if people get in the way of her eating, which is what she wants. Um, then, then she gets violent. And I actually think that's really cool. And I just, my, my bottom line though, is I think the last third of the film.
I feel like they shot this whole thing in order, and I feel like the last third they lost their steam, and then they stopped trying as hard. Now, that's when a lot of the special effects come in, though. And they still have some good... good i think the one that got jackie the most was the one that they actually opened the movie with yes now sometimes i'll pick a scene from later on and they'll open the movie with it yeah
Well, Jackie saw that and it was like, oh, you know, when that scene happened. Sure. She saw it later on when that scene happened. Yes. Absolutely. But yeah, it's a, let's just say, I mean, going into something like this, you're thinking it's going to be like Jean Gale level, but it's not. This is a better movie than that.
And some skillful shots, too, like when they were leaving the asylum, as they call it, the shooting above the steps. And you see the aunt and Ethel walking down the steps. It's like this guy's trying to do interesting things. Yes. You got to give him credit for that. He was trying to do interesting things. That's right. That's right. I agree with you. And there's lots of grossness in this. I mean, they got lots of gross parts. And then, I mean, this has.
You know, with her eating, I'll just say, I mean, her eating passion escalates. And then we get yet another horror subgenre ticked into this. So the worst horror for me, though, in this is the fact that the dude busted out some Brussels sprouts to heat up. I'm like, who eats Brussels sprouts? Oh my goodness. Ew.
Nobody but psychos, right, Jay? That's right. Pearl, you better not eat Brussels sprouts. Anyways, I'm just kidding. For me, Dave, I'm so glad that you found this. I do feel like it's a bizarre gem. I'm actually glad that I own it, believe it or not. And I am going to like subject people to this as a mean and cruel joke, but still for the listeners out there.
I mean, I think you can rent this for like a dollar to watch on Amazon. Yeah, I think so. But I'm calling this a 4.5 out of 10. I'm calling it a low priority rental for people like Gilman Joel or Watson. who would watch this with monkey bone and um you know people that you would watch weird sick stuff with and i'm calling it a cinematic oddity what say you dave
You, but I am actually a little higher than you. I was giving it a five out of 10. You know, again, there's a lot, there's padding in this. This really could have been an hour movie. I think there's padding in this, especially toward the beginning. But it's interesting enough, the kills are, I think, well handled.
Some of them are very gruesome. Well, I don't want to give any spoilers away, but there's one in particular that's a little bit sad, you know, especially the last line that the character utters. And there's one with a freaking cinder block. That always gets me. Oh, love it. Thinking of a cinder block like that. Oh, yeah, that one always gets me. But just the idea of something like that coming down on somebody. But anyway.
Yeah, I'm going to say five out of 10. I think definitely, you know, rent it. I'm not saying it's something you need to buy, but it might be something you might want to buy. Yeah, I think I'm saying five out of ten. I'm going to say it's a stream. I'm going to say it's a stream. Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah. And it sounds like Gilman Joel is going to give it a whirl. And especially when he hears that you said this is in his wheelhouse of regional horror. I'm pretty sure it was shot on video and it's regional horror. Yeah, definitely. is, yeah, almost this entire film was shot in Kentucky, which I love. I think there was like one or two scenes in New Jersey, but it was in Kentucky.
And, um, man, this is a, I dig this, Dave. I don't know why. I mean, it's, it, to me, it's so bad. It's good. It's kind of one of those type of movies. Yes. It's one of those type of movies that. It's like going for the so bad it's good, but every now and again, find some good. Right. Yeah. And just to be clear, Grizzly Gus, because, you know, Grizzly Gus out there, he does this for some reason.
He'll put this on and he'll watch this. And then his wife's going to walk into the room and say, what are you watching? And then Grizzly Gus, don't say my name. Don't associate this with me. But anyways, Doc Shock, thank you so much, brother. I really appreciate it. And hey, you know, I had this coming because, you know, I pulled you into that Jangel rabbit hole of hell that we fell into. And you pulled me in.
into this and so I like this when we do this to each other so thank you hold on one second hold on one second the suspense level's high I know no I'm done Jackie I'm asking her to come here for a second oh okay It was really special. I better not get in trouble. No, no, no, no, no. I did mention that you said it was definitely not a recommendation. We'll tell her Greg picked it. All right.
One second. Thank you. Throw me under the bus. It does seem more like a pearl pick, if we're being honest. The one I just watched, the crazy fat Ethel. It's awful. Well, that's all? It's horrible. Okay, that was her critique. Okay. I love Jackie. Yeah, I do too. I love you. Greg and Pearl and Jay say hello. And ask her if she would be willing to play a role in Crazy Fat Ethel 2 as actually the good person who fights Ethel.
I think I'll save that one. Jay wanted to know if you would like to maybe play the hero who fights Ethel in Crazy Fat Ethel 2. because I'd be dead. Well, yeah, that's what happened to a lot of people in this movie. I can see her being a great detective, though. Couldn't you, Greg? Couldn't you see Jackie playing like a really astute, sleuthy detective? Yeah, like, hell yeah. See? Yeah. Put her on a gambling table and we're in trouble. Oh, God, yeah. Nice.
All right. Well, that was a lot of fun. So that is our review of Crazy Fat Ethel. If people, you know, blame Dr. Shock, that was his find. I am the one who found it. Now, like I said, I wasn't going to pick it up until Jay said, I just purchased it. Just bought it. I guess I'm buying Crazy Fat Apple, too. I love you for being all in on that, brother. But I thought you said something like that.
I did. We're going to have to review this. I might have to buy this just based on the title. Yeah. Or I'm going to have to buy this based on the title. I was joking. But. When you had said you bought it, I said, well, I guess I'm buying credit. And you know what? It wasn't like I was upset to buy it because I actually was, I had, I was contemplating it anyway. Yeah. But you just sort of cemented it with your, I just bought it. Okay.
And it's a Christmas miracle. What better way to celebrate Christmas than with a review of Crazy Fat Ethel. Listeners, we hope you enjoyed this wild and wacky episode, this Christmas edition of Jay of the Dead's new horror movie. I want to thank my good buddies here. We got Dr. Shock, Greg Amortis, and our special guest, the Twisted Temptress. And so, Pearl, what final thoughts do you have for...
for the listeners as we part ways on this Yuletide episode here. I had nothing to do with crazy fat Ethel. But I did watch it and I am remembering it. Boy, Pearl saw it before we did, Jay. I know. She should have let us know about this. Well, you know what? It's on Screambox.
thought the cover was cool so I decided oh let me watch this I didn't know what I was in for you know you still don't know what you're in for that's right well thank you for being here Pearl it was a pleasure to have you on the show again Thank you for having me. As always, yes. Okay, Greg Amortis, what final thoughts do you have for the listeners? Be sure to make sure that you stay nice all year, little kitty.
Because if you don't, you know that Santa Claus will punish you. Because punish is absolute. Remember that, little kiddies. Always be nice. Punish. Punish. It's been a blast, man. I love it. And go get Deadly Games. Go buy it. Go buy this vinyl soundtrack, too. You will want that soundtrack after you watch Deadly Games. All right. Yeah.
Okay. And Dr. Schrock, what message do you have for listeners? My message would be, it's not over until the fat lady eats. That's one of the taglines for Crazy Fat Ethel. I just looked it up. Nice. It's not over until the fat lady eats. eats. That's great. All right. Well, on behalf of Dave, Dr. Schockbecker, the Gilman, Joel Robertson, Mr. Watson. Dr. Rocking Dead, Kyle Bishop, Greg Mortis, the Southern Gentleman, Macula, Ron Martin, Dave Z, Spawn of the Dead,
And our special guest, the Twisted Temptress, has been Jay of the Dead. And I want to thank you for listening to the show. We wish everybody a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Be safe. And we got a special little New Year's surprise coming for you as well that is akin to this episode of sorts. So it's similar to this. So watch for that coming up in a week.
And thanks again for listening to J of the Dead's new horror movies, The Gold Standard. Actually, the silver and gold standard of horror movie podcasting.