Producer Poddy: The Poocast

I can hear everyone else.

But not me.

You can hear everyone else but not you.

You know, it's fine. I'm good. You got that.

No ground recording, My little touch pad doesn't work.

Who've got twelve?

I've been a meeting, both got twelve?

Four and a half minutes docs were they're doing this? But thank you?

All right, this should just be the intro. We're already struggle.

All right, Well done for the very blumpy intro.

Welcome to the party. Let's see a roll call. Jizzy, I'm here, Moby present.

What am I slip? Not? Not lock them? One of them?

Well done?

You say your own names now, Lumberjack here, I'm not doing a bit.

I'm not doing.

It was supposed to be.

It's supposed to be. Gen z Ah.

Sorry, yeah, my god, she's here.

No, I'm a scatman present.

Well done.

Oh we've got a cast of present and past today.

It's quite nice.

It's true. It's a full house. It's a reunion of sorts.

Yeah, yeah, well it truly is.

Yep.

Well done everybody, Thank you.

It's it's good to be here. Scattered, and I do have twelve. As you've heard, we've got twelve. Cock Bannis and it's eleven fifty six.

We got you got, You've got, You've got, You've got three and a half minutes, say your peace, you better feel it.

Well, I've got a soap box. Now, it's good to be back.

Hey good.

Yeah, Well, I mean it's my last start and over tomorrow.

Fun fact.

Yeah, so I wanted to jump on something before I went, And you guys just were gas bagging in our office?

Should we give them the reset?

Every ten minutes through that, I was playing at home In case people don't know the full story.

Of of Yeah, so at the beginning, start at the beginning, where were you suddenly? No, I mean I've been on ben leymn Bell for a bit. If you don't know my voice or Scatman's voice, welcome where we're here. I'll go back at the piss days.

I think you you were an og Scatman, I would be the most senior.

I definitely.

I came after DVD, who came after Frank Frank.

Frank Still we see frank O every a couple of months.

But yeah, Benley Robella moving to Adelaide to do their show from there, and Scudder is staying here to do his job. I think, sorry, I've just taken that news from me and what but I am staying here and just not continuing with over. So yeah, God bless everyone you here at Nova.

Good endings.

And but yeah, that means I won't get to see the brecky guys of a of an afternoon when I skulk in and they're still here to.

The for.

You've been good mate, Yeah, bloody oath so kicking radio. I reckon so for now, I mean, yeah, you're always always come back and come back true yea. But yeah, say say hi and bye to Jas, Lauren and Clint for me. Yeah, I just never said them because they're not They're not here. That's why we're not.

Although Clint was here on Tuesday. Clint came in for all of two minutes on Tuesday, very randomly. I just come in and he was literally lingering. He said he'd got he was expecting some post. The post hadn't arrived, and he's like, all right, I'm out.

But he also he showed us his Speedo ten lines.

He did.

I didn't know where to look for that, but yeah, yeah nice.

He spent some time on Magnetic Island. I believe over the break when's that just off Tansville. Okay, look at me the foreigner telling you where a place.

Like three times in my life. It's big. But yeah, sorry, we're not allowed to swear on our podcast. I'm sorry. I've just let a few bombs go. Yeah, it's also giddy.

It's refreshing his face.

And he just said, lumber Jack, what are they going to do?

Make me?

What?

What are they going to do? If I'm like for this meeting in thirty seconds made me redundant? No, I better go.

It's been a pleasure just you know, teams meet from here.

No, this is a important meeting. It is like.

You're going to be for the next six months on the show.

What my next meeting is with Dave Cameron?

I don't know he knows what he's doing either.

Yeah, scat man, you don't have to be in this meeting.

Oh I do know this is I've got a different meeting in my phone wheelering at some point and I would just excuse myself quickly.

Okay, I know unlimited time scatman.

That that's right exactly.

You can't tame the scat man, you know what.

I worked hard to get rid of that nickname. Not that it was ever a really bad nickname, but I as soon as I came to Nova, it was like a reset for me. It was like day zero and everyone's like, what do we call you? I said, you know what, Scudder? Call me scudder because that's that was my nickname since primary school. It changed a Kiss because we couldn't bring our own nicknames for some reason. But yeah, I got rid of it all together. And then Macy

I actually still call you scatman because when I first met you was when it was when I joined Kiss, and that you were still in this Scapman slash got his own I yeah, I don't know. Scut was just the one that I latched onto. I think also partly because when me, when when me an Irish person says your og nickname scudder, it sounds very different than when you guys Australian people and New Zealand people say scatter.

You're right, That's why I thought so easy for me to say scat much.

I remembered some very exciting news that you and I have actually, yeah, true in a couple of weeks to engage.

Oh what Oh? Sorry, I got engaged with someone else.

Classic double engagement. Yes, just seeing seeing how long you can keep both those balls in the air for both scots. Sorry, so there's a bad choice of words.

But we are joining forces pretty much August. Yeah.

I don't know where yet, I can't remember.

I believe it's in where would say that that might be on the Bingo card.

Yes, yeah, you're joining the Bingo Loco family.

I am.

It's exciting as excited as a DJ or a host as a DJ.

So there's a DJA and a host at each one, and I am the DJ and Felix is the guy that books all of us. And he was like, oh, you will have a host, and I said, I'm not doing it unless it's jazz.

Question, does this does DJing involve throwing appendages at people?

Hang on what I better? Yes, you will and appendages?

What's an appendage?

You're talking about fake appendages.

Little pants appendage a deal though, Yes, hang on, does that appendage genuinely mean mean something attached to your body?

Right?

Uh? I was kind of just using it as a stand in word for what.

If you say, a male appendage is there's only one thing. There's only one.

Thing, like your own one that you're taking off and throwing.

No, no fake appendages, fake rubber appendages.

Okay, a replica.

But I am going to one that Jazz is hosting. I'm going as a punter this Saturday, just to.

Get a'll be fun.

So yeah, it'll be fun.

Are you gonna get lit? I feel like it's a pre requirement. I think, yeah, there's no choice, right, not really if.

You want to get loco at the all the bad wordplay today.

Don't sorry bear with me for a secon. I'm just looking up appendage, live gurgle.

Don't.

My favorite grab at the moment. An appendage is a part of a living thing, either animal or plant, that extends from the main body and typically has a specific function. So it's pretty much just anything that extends from your body.

Yeah, okay, because.

You're not wrong.

You are a little bit slight and correct use of the word because it's not I mean, it's.

A it's not specific. It's detachable, but it's not yah.

I mean, if you want to throw your appendages depending audience, that's that's your business. Yeah. Yeah, you can probably only do it once though.

This is reminding me of that song Detachable Penis.

Do you guys have heard that Who's a Bye a King King Missile?

Is that going to be in the system? Well, I have to look in smooth.

Probably not that smooth. Maybe Cole's Radio.

Think it's like Barnaked Ladies or something.

I just got really nostalgic then when you played that, because I remember back in the heyday before the Police podcast. Police came down on us for playing songs during podcasts. Yeah, we had hooks for everything, like every every person. I remember having to make it as the audio producer make a sting for every person. So when every time like Nona would speak, we'd play the sting.

Hm hmmm, I think there is. I think we've I think for worn podcasts. Maybe a year ago we did dig up some or you might have put in this my old ones.

Maybe I think it might still be in the system somewhere. Would be able to play it, yes, because this one is not it's not it's not a music technically, and this was also what we copyrighted at least.

This was also quite a late one, it was.

It came.

It came quite late into even me starting a kiss. But then after all the old.

Your nickname at this point still hadn't settled onto onto what it is now.

Jizz.

Yeah, what was it? Initially well, it was just it was jazz, but it was still jeers. But it wasn't like it. It was just one of whatever.

It was kind of yeah, and then it was it was sort of jazz and jizz for a while and occasionally jizz, and then it really solidified.

They didn't really know what my name was requitable.

I mean, it's only three letters exactly.

Yeah, it shouldn't be that quired. It was only one veil, babe, So I didn't know what that was. But mayby found.

It feels insensitive. I'm offended, I would be. No one's allowed to bring their own nickname to the show. There has to be one, and it can't be forced. It has to come up naturally, and it has to be agreed upon by everyone except the person whose nickname it is because you don't get a choice.

Well, I feel like mine hasn't been fully established yet, Yours is.

Not fully established. Whatever you've got now will be looked back in a year's time as the temporary, fluctuating nickname, that's true working title. Something will happen and then you will have a nickname.

Something really embarrassing, and then order to stick with.

You, who knows, who knows, something significant, We'll lock it in and then and then there will be a day, there'll be a moment and then it will be that.

From me up there with Jis and the scat man can be called.

Shat or something. That's the story behind that one.

Wow, me tell you about.

Funny. But yeah, I'm very excited for you to join the Bingo crew.

I'm very excited to come along. It feels like my tempo because not only is it like good fun balls of the Wall for three hours, but it finishes before midnight. Yeah, which is more like me.

Yeah.

I don't know about you, but I've done I've been doing a few closes at like one, two, three am, and I'm too old for that shit man. Yeah.

One of my gigs a few weeks ago, a few weeks ago in the sound of Dust in Storyville. Yeah place that's really fun to play. But I didn't start till worn thirty. And it was a Friday night, and like again back in the day, like I'd be so used to that, I'd be so fine, but I had

You going there? Like stone cold sober as well into all the party people who have been having fun for a while, Yeah sober again.

Back in the day, I probably would have gotten on it.

And you know, just like I think I drove into the city parked up like had adunesme bitters just as I was like playing them went helme with three.

Yeah, so grim it is this Storyville is the place with the very creative fancy cocktails. Is that?

Yeah?

They so it's like kind of Allison Wonderland themes. Yeah, they don't call it that because of licensing, but it basically is like they've got the big bookcase in one room and they've got mushrooms in the other room, and then they Yeah, the cocktails have like ones on a swing.

Yes, I've had the swing one once before.

It was it was a good time. And they love the Is it dry ice or like the.

Yeah liquid.

Theatrical?

Yeah, yeah they are.

Yeah, cool cool.

It is a cool venue for like late night escapades.

It's a great venue for because Fridays sometimes go till well, they don't have a like a license a specific They've got a twenty four hour license, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, so they go till there's no one left. Sometimes at seven am, sometimes it's nine am. I've never DJed one of those.

Seven am for a breakfast. Yeah, that's what you wanted it all.

Yet whoever is DJing the let's say the closing set, who might start at two or three? The fact that you could be playing till three or four or five or nine? Yeah, like who like is there?

Just is it?

Whoever is on the last set would do an extended set? What if you've got like a thing in the morning.

Yes, it's three till close, it's three till undefined, which scares the shit out of me. I'll be able to do that. So I could either be here for two hours or six.

Yeah.

It's like as a DJ is like often you want to plan, or at least in your mind, plan the journey of your set.

You know you're playing for two hours. You can be like, okay, I let's start off with some DISCOI stuff and by the end I'll be slamming out some like faster house and maybe some techno. But if you're like cool, after that two hours, there could be four more hours.

Yes, you run out of songs, all the songs.

I think in the morning. The crowd you're playing to does it matters? I don't think they realize what's being played to them at this stage right, very just whatever as long as there's something coming out of the speakers, could be put it on baby Shark.

Yeah, you're one hundred percent right. Speaking of free plugs for venues around men Melbourne, we went to another steak night Sea Connoisseur because apparently he runs the steak group on the Jason Lawrence Show. He runs his own steak group.

That yes, yeah, yeah, that one time web is.

The Sneak Dawn of Melbourn. Yeah.

I got thrown to him as we went into this solicit for break and yeah, so it's I can't take credit for it because.

We did you get over to break?

It wasn't.

I wasn't going to be the what do you call it? That the handbreak on air? Actually I don't run the Steak Night, but I but I don't. Who does run it?

Well, no one runs it. That's the thing.

Ben Keene runs character Ben Keene runs the Steak Night.

But we went out for a steak on Tuesday. I think it's been our highest rated ever, the.

Highest rated, and wasn't there. Jazz is in the group and he was commenting on our ratings in the group. High that's the highest rating we've ever had, is it is?

Everyone in the group, and I think, yeah, the attest to this everyone had a four point something.

Yeah, the average was four point five.

And that is it doesn't it doesn't get that high.

Somebody rated it a four point nine, which is ludicrous.

It's a bit much, has anything, Because five is like life changing, like you'd write a book about the steak kind of thing.

We've never had that.

But five is you would actually create a gravestone for the cow in the cemetery somewhere just how good it was.

Wow Like, but Jack Lumberjack almost cried when he was giving his rating. He said he generally got emotional about how good the steak was.

And it's worth mentioning as well that this steak restaurant was not a new venue for a steak night.

It was that everyone has been too before.

On that time where I was required to list the top steak nights this place Oxford Scholar, it got a tied number one because it was the best, and then it had fallen off. But this brought it back. It came, it came right back up to number one.

New chef, new new cows.

It actually just went back to how it was. Yeah, it's like because we used to go there, so that the Steak Night law. It started at Oxford Scholar twenty twenty one, I reckon and then.

Long before my time as well before my time your time.

Yeah, and it kind of progressed out from there. We just used to do Oxford Scholar every Tuesday.

Who was the OLG group because it started back as like basically the producers of Jason Lauren a Kiss.

Yeah. Well, it was Jack and I that went to the first ever Oxford Scholar and then we thought, let's invite some more people and make this a regular thing. Yeah, So I can't remember who the third maybe Ben McDowell, the bean Chicken Chicken, Yeah, and Mikayla though.

You invited the vegan, the vegetarian on the team.

All. Yeah. Still, we got there and we were ordering. That was a bad idea. Anyway, it was really good. We used to get so many chips and the steaks were like life changing. And then they must have got in someone that realized that they were wasting too much money on the chips and the steak, and they went cheaper and cheaper and there was less chips, less steak, less salad, and it just kind of went downhill and we gravitated away from it, and then we went back

They're not redundant from the steak.

I said, I couldn't go and choose day. Jack was like, oh, I can't believe we're missing the last steak night. And I was like, whoa, whoa, that's a big call.

So we thought we'd go back to the old stomach grant and it just hit, it just hit. I don't know what.

I don't know.

You can't really put it down to like, oh, did they did they do something new? No, they just did it all. Well, they've made steak great again.

Yeah, yeah, there we go. You can use that one. Yeah.

No, it was good.

And then we rated the bathrooms rated the bathroom We started we just we we we finished rating and we weren't ready to finish the night. We finished rating the stakes, which is normally the end of the night. Pretty much, we kind of say a goodbyes. None of us were quite ready to leave, and so we just started rating things.

Did it? What's Was there a process or a criteria for the bathroom?

The system got a bit out of whatever, We got a bit out of whack. I gave him bonus points because the had auto taps. You wave your hand in front of them, and they were warm. Yeah it was warm.

Okay, yeah, someone someone gave it twenty five points.

Oh, you made a new rating, not.

Out of anything.

My mind was eighty five. My rating, My rating is probably not out of anything.

Okay, my rating is not really say for the podcast, okay, sixty nine too hot for radio?

Is there a story?

No?

No, I mean yeah, but not not for this.

Oh yeah, yeah you did.

If I put the mic standing and tell us what it was.

A yeah?

Sure, okay, three two one? I mean you can imagine the scale. It's an interesting lower someone's higher.

Yeah for a bathroom too.

Yes?

Were they your own or someone else's? Ah?

They were my own?

Okay, yeah, do you wash your hands up?

I did not?

Oh did you watch your hands before your steak.

No, they have the senses, though it's a missed opportunity.

To use water.

I mean I didn't go into the steak with I didn't come from the bathroom to the steak. The steak was prior to the bathroom, so there's no need to wash my hands.

Steak bathroom.

Yeah, yeah, but where were your hands before you entered the restaurant?

That's a great that's a great question. Probably on my driving wheel.

I was very worried about where you were.

Hited with that. Is it Jakes that says he never washes his hands after number ones? I'm sure he said that on air ones. That's rank no, not cool, not on No.

That's right up there with not flushing public bathrooms after you've been in them.

That's true. Absolutely, letting it sit.

Yeah, discovered that once about someone. Change my opinion of them. Share share, I can't say share a she shared a public bathroom like like was in there after them. I watched them walk out of the cubicle. We're in the airport, and they walked out of the cubicle, and then I walked in there and was like.

This motherfucker, doesn't.

I have witnessed the same person do the same thing.

But at a bathroom that we would all regard far higher than an airport bathroom.

I don't understay.

Something someone's house.

What would you rate this?

No, you can't not flush at someone else's house.

It wasn't someone else's house, not your house. No, it wasn't Claudia your house.

Solved it?

Well, it's I can't really revealed him. Watch on the pod.

No, we've solved it. Don't worry about it.

We've we've got it.

But yeah, this person doesn't flow himself in a public bathroom. And we meet and maybe you have chatted about it before, and we tried to think about the reasons.

Why why would you not do that?

Is it because it's a public bathroom and you would assume that there's cleaners to do that for you.

But that's just disrespectful.

You're not proud of it. You want to show the next person.

That's just that's like the way around. If you weren't proud of it, you'd rather get rid of it, if you weren't.

Look at what I've created, because I'm the next guy to see that.

He talk to the person on the way and hey, mate, check that out.

We're going to find someone that does this and ask him the question, brain man, because something's something's going on.

I would be able to speak to this person.

Is that a good note? Is that a good note? To call it on? My phone hasn't wrung yet?

Oh, then we must stay.

Yeah, what's what's your take on self cleaning bathrooms? While we're on the topic of bathroom.

Cleaning, Well, like the like the water jet.

Corners the streets, those like, yeah, the automatically the ones.

That like freaking pressure wash when you leave it or whatever. I always worry that someone's going to fall asleep in there and then get washed.

You know. I'm worried the door is going to open mid mid usage.

The automatic doors that you can't I can't stand that. The bathrooms where you have to push the button and the door automatically closes, and you've got to watch it slowly closing, and then you're terrified that it's going to auto release while you're on the throne.

Because it's also like the button that you would press from the inside to get out is always out of reach.

If you're sitting under the toilet you want to.

You could, It's just like it cracks opening and you're just sitting on there going just being vulnerable.

Actually am at a Bengal loco a couple of weeks ago before the show started, me and DJ Pete the Beat, who was also and we were just in the green room like before the show, and I went to use the bathroom for a number two's and it was only after I'd done the number twos that I realized there was no toilet paper in the bathroom.

No, you called for help.

I had to call DJ Pte the Bee to come and rescue me and dropped toilet paper. In similar situation, obviously, the cubicle door was locked, and it wasn't actually a cubical, It was like a nice bathroom at the back of a green room.

So the door was locked.

But while you're sitting on the on the throne, the lock for the door is too far away, so I couldn't reach it as I was sitting down.

So you had to I had to do that real awkward life the shuffle with the dirty bomb, like.

And yeah, shuffled towards the door. I'm like, you don't want to make even more of a mess.

You kind of clean unlocked the door, but.

Then and then like, open it slightly so it's just a jar, and then dj pte the bee passing in some toilet.

There's a lot of trust there.

I would trust someone with my life. I think I did that day.

But he was also like he'd said he couldn't find or he'd only found one roll of toilet paper that was almost finished, so he was like, I can't find anything else.

This is all you've got. You have to make it work.

Make this square at a time, I've had a very similar situation, except I didn't have a friend I could call. However, was your arch enemy however, No, no, there was no one I could call. It was it was a like buy myself out in a public bathroom alone, realized, oh no, there's no there's no toilet paper in this booth. After the business is done, and I had to do a similar shuffle to that, like hunting in the other stores.

Ho going to come in?

I realized, I'm like, okay, there's none here, but no one else is in this, and there's two other stores, and and you know the sort of squad shuffle artist. Okay, I'm just gonna with the pants still down, shuffle none here, no, go to the next one.

Yes, were you covering? Were you covering up?

Hang on? Did you go from one cubicle to the other? Yeah, it was.

No other option?

What was that?

What else was I going to do?

God? If someone walked through that, where were you?

I think it was like a train station. I can't I can't remember exactly where it was.

A train station bathrooms up there with the nastiest Yeah.

It wasn't great. I was like, but it was a situation you needed to go, and I was in a bit of a rush and then realized after, you know, that's the worst afterwards, like oh no, oh, no, shuffle.

I speaking of very clean bathrooms. Was in Japan in January, and I was so influenced by their toilets A going at home that forty bucks off Amazon. You got one for here, I've got one for here.

Retro fit to your own Yeah yeah, yeah, so yourself.

I did it myself.

Yeah.

No, leaks works fine on the side of.

The toilet, on your own toilet, yeah yeah, yea yeah.

So it's got a little prong down the bottom. It sprays the water.

Do you dry question, It sprays the water that's already sitting in the bowl.

No, no, no, you get it from the wall before it goes into that's the problem.

Okay, I was a cold.

The beauty about the Japanese ones is they're nice and warm.

This is just.

So winter's not a good time. They're good in summer.

But yeah, they over in Japan. Those toilets, I don't know what it is, but something about them scares me if I go to a hotel, because you.

Think a little hello kid, what an adorable.

Way to put But just like there's some of them and you walk in the bathroom and the lid just opens as you are, I'm like, I don't like that it knows this and that it might do stuff while I'm sitting there. True, yeah, it scares me a bit.

But no, like every single tolet over there, it play, They play music to you, They warm the seed.

Up, They trying to comfort you.

Yeah, they have a little deodorizer afterwards. Yeah, but if you're shy and you're worried about the person in the cubicle next to you, you press the ocean butt. It just plays ocean wave sounds like really loud. So you do your.

Business to sound like you're crapping in an ocean.

Is that you're shy, or rather you just don't want to hear what's going on any cubicle next to you?

Maybe both?

Do they have do they have a button to left? The guy next to you. If you're proud of what you've just done, you just see it.

It's like it makes. It makes the.

Just takes a picture and sends it to the other stores.

This is what you could be doing. Oh god, it's a lot of pooch pook at the pooka. Maybe we should leave it there.

I think that's a good place, all right.

It is well done.

Produce funny