Full Show: Where Did I Come From?

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Jason Lauren on No.

One hundred, Well, good morning everybody.

Oh my god, good morning everybody.

For a girl, it's been up for four hours already. You think her headphones are tangled.

The microphone fell off. Good morning Melbourne. I am in a mood.

So we are, sends Clint today. Clinty is off and Lauren is on one.

Let me tell you, yes, yes, yeah, Well it's like it's one of those things right when you go away and you're lucky enough to have a holiday. It's illegal to talk winge about jet lag. So I'm not going to winge about it. Instead, I'm going to celebrate it.

Honestly, it took me days to get over the trip back from right where were you coming back from?

I came back from Athens a bit further, a bit further, and my body clock is very confused, and I did what the parents call a disaster nap.

Yes, you went too long, didn't you? You went too long?

Too late, and too long.

Anyway, Archie, oh, three year old, did the disaster nap?

This is the disaster that with a kid is like when they're in that Did he still nap? Nor?

No?

No, no no? And he doesn't.

He's been out with and she pulled into the driveway at about quarter to three, and I'm.

Like, what's going on here?

It was he asleep asleep a quarter to three? Oh yeah, how did he sleep last night? Great? She should have sent him to my house. There's a party at my house.

There was a party at mine at nine o'clock as well.

Trying to get him down at nine pm.

Oh my god. I was almost just going to start throwing twenty dollar notes at him and go, please, I'll pay you, just go to bed.

Yeah, no, I get it, Archie. I'm with your brother. Anyway, I tell you how about my jet lag was next. We've got a huge show coming up today.

We do in indeed, actually it's not the best parenting thing in the world.

But what's happened?

Just speaking of paying the kids, I took Felix, my eleven year old, out for Japanese spit a sushi train.

Yeah. Over the holidays, you have a bit of everything.

Felix, You've got to Oh, I love it. I'm like, you've got to try that.

Would be on the Ala Catte menu. That's not coming around on the Chutu train.

No, it was the CA Yeah, And I'm like, you've got to try the mesa egg plants. He's eleven. He's looking at me. He's like, there's no way.

And so then because it doesn't taste like egg pluts, it tastes like mesa exactly.

So I did what every good parent should do. I started bribing him with money to try it. Oh yeah, turned into quite a little game show. I was like, all right, five bucks for something rogue off the Sishi try.

Yeah, smart from Felix. How much cash to you?

Mate?

I through forty? He walked out nauseous. It was a great lunch.

Oh good suit. She trained the shame of when you have to take the whole party? Did I really eat this much?

Do we need three people to count the pin?

I really need to carry the plates to the front desk.

All right, we're gonna be shock coming up today. Ed Sheeran want to go have a season see him live. I'll give you all the details.

How after Lewis Capaldi on Nova Lewis Capelli and Survive six past six.

It's a great song. It's not a feel good for Tuesday morning.

It just to ignore her. Everyone. She's been up since one with jet lag.

You know what, Actually it was not even one.

You're going to be a real roller coaster today, a.

Real roller coast.

But she's in a fun mood now. When I arrived at work this morning, I walk in, You're already sitting on.

The on the count on my second coffee.

In the planning meeting, which you normally don't make.

No, I was here at like what ten past five?

Producer? Was she here with ideas? Like? Was she getting involved?

Came in with ods for it is the rest of the year. So I flew back from Europe and I thought, I'm gonna I know how to do this. I know how to not get jet like. So I went into a hyperbaric chamber oxygen chamber.

Do you sit at her home burning fifty dollar notes?

You sit in the hyperbaric oxygen chamber and it gives you extra It's like pressurize it so it's like your ears pop, like.

Yes, it's normally for scuba divers they.

Do it and it's meant to help you with jet like because you get extra oxygen and it helps you circadian rhythm and all these other things I read about. Anyway, so I did that on the first I probably should have done it yesterday.

Curiosity. Yeah, where would someone go in Melbourne to find a hyper hyperbaric chamber?

Lots of places. There's lots of like wellness places now that do all of that, like infrared hyperbaric chambers, cryotherapy, which is one where it's like freezing cold. Maybe I'll try that today because that looks fun. Hyperbaric chamber did not work I so I came to it yesterday. I went home and had to do some running around and then I had what toddler is you call in a toddle or a disaster nap, and I thought, I'll sleep, have an hour an hour power out. Anyway. I woke up.

To see for wake up?

I no? I had a shower before I went to bed. Maybe I should have had a poil then. Anyway, I said, Paul, how am I possibly going to go on? How can I continue till eight thirty at night? Anyway, went to bed at eight, had a shower, went to bed at eight, woke up, thought it was ready, thought it was the morning. Time to get ready. It was eleven fifty five pm. So I thought I should serious. If it wasn't it, if it wasn't a Monday night, maybe I would have.

Anyway, I'm a side sleeper. I like to spoon a pillow.

But when he sleeps on his side, he's fine. But I felt bad. I didn't want to wake him up, so I went to sleep in the spare room. Now these are the this is what I listened to on Spotify last night. I had, so this one's fall asleep in under two minutes.

My biggest concern is if I have to serve time. You only get one pillow in jail. I can't sleep with one pillow. It's very uncomfortable.

Well, maybe one of these appsudes helping me sleep hypnosis. I had that one going. I had Guided Sleep Meditation, I had Inner Peace to Reduce Anxiety meditation. And then at three point thirty, I thought, oh, I'm just gonna get up, have a look. See what's happening on the internet. And I sat there for an hour watching videos of killer whales attacking shark. Is this amazing video? Week's coming

Sleep probly wake up.

I was like to see this stuff. So then he was awake, and then I said, okay, it's four o'clock. Let's just try and get half an hour sleep before I have to go back to sleep. Oh. We tossed and turned I and I was like, I'm just getting up. I'm just going to go to work. I'm gonna I'm going to go to work. I'm going to come and annoy everyone at work.

Did you show that?

I can imagine the scene here at quarter past five, everyone gathered around, you know, a killer.

Showed them the video. Yet it was one of these things on a reel, and you know when you see it once and you can never find it again. I think it's going to be one of those anyway, So I slept from eight until midnight.

Brady, what time do you give her? I reckon, she's going to turn by seven to twenty.

I'm going to back my girl in eight thirty.

I'll make it through the show. Then help him, help anyone who crosses my path today. After that doesn't.

Tell what we're even going to get to seven. You're on the air with jas Lauren. We are sands Clint today, hopefully he'll be back tomorrow. We are doing a thanks to show Ready Express coming up today. We have trips to the snow up for grabs. Tomorrow we're taking the show to Mount Buller. I cannot wait.

I know, I'm very excited. We're going on a family road trip. Yeah, we're pulling myself, Clint and Hudson.

My nine year old is unfortunately going to be sick tomorrow, cannot make school, so we're gonna have to pull him out and take him with us to Mount Buller and.

Then he's going to be sick. He's like down the mountain.

He's like, when do we go back? I'm like Thursday we head home. He's like, cool, Oh, I can't do basketball Thursday night.

Oh no, legged just to say the don't talk to me about being tet lagged.

So, yes, we're gonna be doing the show from Mount Buller on what's the name is Thursday?

Confusing?

This week Thursday will be live from Mount Buller.

But yeah, over the next two weeks your chance to win Trips to the Snow will tell you how you can win it. Coming up in the next twenty here on Nova.

That's right, it's time for Naughty noughty six forty and this time we're talking about a celebrity couple that, in fact, I don't even remember these two dating. Let's go back to nineteen ninety seven. I was in year five. That's probably why I don't remember it. How were you so this couple they were in They were in the film Bounce. They dated from nineteen ninety seven to the year two, thousand. I'm talking about Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck, So.

This would have been pre Brad Pitt.

Yes, and pre j Lo first first round, no first round, but maybe it was.

Propan yeah, pre pre first round Jedlo marriage pre.

First round, pre who's the other Jennifery married Jennifer Ghana pre Jennifer Garnah. And then Gwyneth Paltrow married Chris Martin and bybe Apple that's right, pre baby Apple. Also anyway, apparently they dated. I don't remember it. Apparently apparently. Now Kevin o'quan, who is a very famous makeup artist by the way, makes probably the best mascara in the world, has talked Aboush Winneth Pultro and a secret she told him in her book. She told Kevin quan in his

Ben Affleck, can you use code words?

Place did something to her in the bedroom?

What did he do?

He?

You know?

What makes it even more but that Clint's not here today. It's just you and I am the studio. I can't look you in the face. What did he do that? She liked? Lauren?

She liked. I don't like talking about people's personal wives. But it is in a book and she talks about how she liked a couple of English breakfast tea if that makes sense, or peppermint tea, didn't matter what time of tea. She liked the tea bag part of it.

She wasn't a coffee girl.

She was in a coffee He's a Duncan guy, not just Dunkin Donuts, if you know what I mean.

She she likes the tea bag left in.

He's a tea bagger.

Well, okay, you've actually broken the code.

Then I said, it's the term tea bag and code.

Supposed like it's more in your indo, like, oh, he leaves the tea bag in the car. Yeah, she liked in her book. Or this is in the makeup artist book.

Book Gwyneth the Biography, but the makeup artist Kevin A. Kwan has written part of it.

I don't know if I would want the makeup artists out revealing that sort of stuff.

But he doesn't just ben athlete, doesn't just love Duncan donuts.

He ever been in an awkward situation used code words duncan not We get it.

We get it dunk and don't know stop.

I oh, this is good time. The CEO's just walking.

Hello. Do you like English breakfast tea?

He's an Englishman, he.

Is the CEO. You could not talk about how nice a cup of teas in the.

Morning we were indeed, in fact we're having the phones thirteen twenty four ten English breakfast or peppermint.

You could not write that.

No, no, And you know I don't like talking about this stuff.

And there he is our boss, right, Well do you do code words for things in the bedroom?

Code word? Yeah, like safe work fineapple, He's not a universal safe feeling uncomfortable? Am I? You started this?

How do I put this?

Okay, let's stick with what people like in the or don't like in the bedroom, but use code words.

How do I put this? I had a mate who was with a girl who accidentally fire truck.

He accidentally No no, no, no, no, she she accidentally fire truck.

You guys, you guys get it.

I feel like it would be wouldn't he fire truck if he had? He has a host?

I believe I'm picking up what you put Yeah? Yeah, yeah what she yeah? And he picked it up? Yeah? What you're with me. I think.

I don't think I'm with you anymore. I'm not with you anymore.

Hey, drama amongst Collingwood fans at the moment over memberships and ticketing. We're going to dive into that issue, your patients, We're going to dive into that just after the seven o'clock news.

Fourteen twenty four ten. If you're an angry Collingwood supporter about your ticket, yeah, good cose seats. Yeah, people are not happy.

They are not. If you're a Pie supporter thirteen twenty four ten, to join us on the evil dive into that, like I said, just after seven.

So look, we're taking the show to Mount Buller this week. I'm taking Howdy out of school.

Now I can ski, you can't. It concerns me.

Sorry, I have skied pizza.

Different, have speed, can ski different?

I would say I can ski in a very basic way. Okay, yeah, but I'm excited because he's nine, we're taking him out of school, first time going the snow.

It's fun. Yes, it's a fun schemes expensive, but it is a fun family if you can do it.

And we are giving away free trips later on this morning, so make sure you listen.

We news Mount Buller.

But there's something my dad group and I my boys that I've grown up with. We've all got kids around the same age.

Like, are you talking about your your your like hardcore mates.

Yeah, your hardcore mates. We'll sort of spread out most of them. We're in Sydney now and we started this thing earlier in the week. We're texting each other deciding which one we're going to go with, and question.

Just quickly, a lot of your mates have kids the same mate. Yeah, you all went one went, and then you all went.

Exactly and we're all like, okay, which one are we going to go with?

Here?

For our kids to experience old school movies we grew up with.

Yes, you've got to be careful because what was acceptable when like, would you let your son watch American Pie?

Would number three year old got into squid game over the break that's dangerous American Pie. I would feel uncomfortable watching American Pie.

Well, I watched step Brothers with my friend's kids, thinking I sort of hadn't seen it for a while, and I don't know if you remember some of the scenes from step brother I haven't seen it. Oh yeah, you shouldn't watch it. With your friends, your kids, gotcha.

No, well we were going to roll out something about Mary over the break.

Yeah.

So no, my life's like, well, we're going to have to fast forward the hair scene.

Well or you just explain it.

No, no, no fast forward.

They're old enough.

No fast forward. He's eleven and he's nine. Don't don't stop. Do not even finish that sentence anyway. We've decided to go with nearly. I swear to god, don't finish that sentence.

He's got three boys, don't You're going to have you tell the birds in the beast chat they get it. They get it at school.

Yeah, look they better not be no like they were YouTube and stuff like that.

So you you haven't sat them down and spoken about it. That awkward conversation with every kid. It's like you have with your dad had when you were like twenty three. I wasn't twenty three.

I was.

He was teaching me how to kiss a girl.

No, dad was. I was about to go to school's week on the Gold Coast. I was eighteen.

He thought you didn't know.

It was seventeen because he was driving me to the pub to us and beers. And as we're driving We're just sitting in silence, and he said, so awkward. So your mother wanted me to talk to you about and I said, yeah, so.

You know, yeah that it.

Yeah, well you were eighteen. I hope you would know Where Did I Come From?

By the age of eighteen, Lauren, I want to open the door and roll out of the moving car.

Honestly, that was it.

Did you read the book Where Did I Come From? No? Didn't you know? Every kid read that? Okay, out there, produced Brody. Did you read Where Did I Come From?

Oh?

Yes, it's still going.

Around Naughty magazine listen at the time, but it was.

It basically was like the cart My brother was two years older than me, and I remember my dad having the chat with my brother and I snuck down the hallway and was like listening. I was like, what are they talking about that they don't want me to know? And I was like, oh.

God, well that's what happening with me.

And then he had the Where did I Come From? Book? And I went through his drawers and found it because I wanted to know where I came from? And wow, wee did I get the front of my life when I found out where I came from that age?

How did we get onto I just want to tell you that we're getting the kids to watch Marty Ducks.

Oh, Marty Ducks. Great movie friendly?

Yeah, great movie, kid friendly.

Nothing sexy in that.

How did we get onto this?

Oh? Yeah? Look where did I come from? They've got the book up on the screen. You never saw this. I'll tell you what. Where did I come from? There was no laser hair of moving back then? Yeah? Did you not get read this book? Go to the next page. I specific look at them naked. So there's a cartoon.

This is all news to me. This isn't where I thought I came from.

There's a cartoon, man and lady holding hands nack, completely naked. And then the next page, I think we know where we came from.

The next page is just a baby.

There's another guy.

By this time.

The man wants to get us close the woman as he can because he's feeling very loving towards her, and to get really close, the best thing you can do is lie on top of her.

Oh my god, I feel like I'm at a reading at a bookstore.

Is she flung her bra off on the pillow? There to talk about Mighty Ducks? We're talking about where did I come from? Look at that page.

He's got it out in the it's just going to be a nice, wholesome like quack quack quack, no, no, duck.

Well, good morning, Melbourne. It is just gone six past seven. Collingwood fans are up in arms. Did you see I might have caught this in the news overnight. The low level club members right, like the cheapest membership.

You can get, it's still quite expensive.

Well, they've had their seats move to an upper level.

Oh, because there's too many members. Yes, surely can't do that halfway through the year.

Well that's what I thought.

Reset next year.

It's like they're your seats. That's the that's where you see.

It's changing them halfway.

Think about dinner when you were growing up, No one changed seats. Imagine walking out being like you're in my seat? What are you doing?

Yeah? No, come next year? Sure not in the middle of it. No, So Collingwood, Does that mean people are buying Collingwood memberships now? Like now that they're doing well, people are oh yeah, pay my membership now.

In the last two weeks. But yeah, in the build up to the finals on my pisce what's going pies? Oh my yes, and it was a cracking win. Hey guys, imagine heading to Sweden to see Ed Shearon live.

Means kiss kisses, thank you for cleaning that up.

What a trip we are sending the sending you there. All we have to do is call now.

Thirteen twenty four ten is out number to get on the standby list to see Ed Sheeran live in Sweden here on nov You know where.

It hasn't been overage over in the UK quite please. It has been busy a few weeks in the UK. Actually in London. I was there a couple of weeks ago. Well, we were on holidays. The weekend I was there was Silverstone so which is the British Grand Prix. It was Wimbledon and it was the Pride March and Sabrina Carpenter was playing in Hyde Park. It was heaving, not very safe and the UK, London didn't feel very safe at all. We're all warned like, don't we you jewelry, don't we

On Instagram where people grab them and the train doors closed.

Yeah. Well yes, it's just people walking with their phones and these guys dressed all in black balat clavers and everything just ride their bikes up on the foot park and clean up everyone's phones that have them in their hands. It's all a bit scary. But I always love watching the celeb spotting over at Wimbledon because it gets your best crab.

You don't seem like a cube.

We were only there for the weekend, so we walked most places. We're kind of stuck to where we were staying.

I've never done London.

I haven't done London for years either, but I felt very unsafe actually there this year. There's some real huge problems with crime over in London. But there was Yeah, no, I agree, but it is bad there, and there was an enormous police presence because there was so much going on. But the crowds at wimbled and they draw the best crowd, like it is impossible to get a ticket to a Wimbledon final. It is every a list celebrity in the

She is.

Gorgeous. She's got blonde hair, blue eyes. Look how well dressed she is, like her fashion. She's sitting there having little pims at Wimbledon. There she is in the crowd at Wimbledon.

She's very pretty. She looks a little bit like Decos anal.

She doesn't look at her.

I don't think it's an last Decos is it? They're not married?

Oh no, not Danelin's anyway, she's she sort of looks like that model brook Hogan sort of looks. Yes, it's a mix of Brooks. Do you think she's beautiful?

Oh? Hang on? Is this in Tapman? Am I related to her or something?

Trust me? No simology.

She's a distant, distant, distant cousin.

That all these people have been chatting to her saying she's lovely.

Nah, this feels like you're about to pray with my wife in here or something.

No, she's beautiful, is completely a I oh, she has been photographed everywhere. People have been posted she's not real. She is not a real person, but she looks. She has a full social media profile, she talks to people comment and no, and people didn't know.

Can you go back to the photo of her at the tennis place.

So she's pictured in the crowd with an actual crowd. Like the boss of getting images has come out and said, this is just crazy, like that's our photo, but they've just put this fake girl in and like, well, you're not the only one who's disappointed. People have been fully talking to her.

It's like thinking she's real, thinking and look.

She is beautiful, but I mean she's fake. But does that scare you? Like you're a dad, right, you got three kids. They're adults who are getting caught up in thinking that this woman is real. Doesn't worry you about your kids that they could be talking to someone that they think is just.

Well I remember hearing a parenting expert it's so true. They're like, you know you worry about which I always say, oh, you know, you gotta worry about the group they hang out with at school and all that sort of stuff. But then you let them get online and you should be worrying about the world and who they're chatting to.

Yeah, well this woman is. She's got one hundred and sixty seven thousand followers. She's They call her an Ali influencer because she I think she sells the clothes and things that she's wearing.

So there's some sort of realness to it. And someone like me sitting in his laptop back home.

You making a fortune when you went to coldplay.

Cold she wasn't She wasn't real. She's not real.

She looks so real, and people are fully befriending her, pure sunshine and good vibes, soaking up every bit of this energy at Wimbledon.

I'm about to friend her.

I don't think I'm my friend.

He too.

You can't get in trouble for.

Friends, can you. When your partner looks at us, are these people you're following? You're right, you creep? No, no, no, they're not rich.

She's not real.

After eight this morning, sing for the snow, Your chance to win ski trips coming up.

I just had a holiday. How nice snow.

He's had an early entry from a friend of mine. Voice note who Sleepy Sedesh.

Oh, Sleepy Sedesh wants to go to the snow.

He's awake, heying, this is the entry.

Yep, it's let it's not I've been wanting to go there. You go. Sleep is the desht on you see.

It's not that hard.

Your chance to that's all you got to do. So it's coming up shortly. But start writing your song. I'm not sure Sleepy Sidesh would have taken out the holiday to Mount Bulla with that, but you work on it. You've got time Melbourne exactly. But speaking of holidays, we did just recently take a holiday and it is holidays are great, but there's a lot of prep that goes into it.

So yeah, thing is at the moment because we've got Archie who's on the no fly lists already.

Yeah. So I was away with two families who have like I'm gonna this is a guessing game for me. I actually did one part of the trip with two families and then the second part of the trip with another two families. And those two families both had one two and a half year old and one three year old.

Was one Tom Hawkins family yea from Gelong. So Tommy took all the kids to.

All three and Gemmer and Dale, two of my best friends had all three as well, So six little ones.

How did Tomahawk go in those tiny little seats all the way to the UK?

I think Tomahawk put on twenty kilos on that trip, to be honest, he's definitely not in AFL shape anymore. I think he put up a video on his Instagram last night of the scales with that hello darkness.

Mad So no comeback for the finals.

I don't think Tormal will be coming back, not this season, maybe next season. Anyway, it is a lot of prep when you go away, and I can't even imagine the prep that would have to go into going away with the family I just mentioned. They also they lost their luggage Emma and Tom so that was awesome. So three kids with no clothes.

Did they forget to take the pram as well?

Oh, they forgot the fam Yet it was a good trip for them.

Because our thing is now unless it's easier than being at home. I don't want to trap.

Yeah, but traveling is so good. But you're in the trenches, right. You got a little one that touch But even like we went away, we don't have children but we've got two dogs and their elderly dogs and they can't just stay at home, So we had to get a house sitar and a dog sitter. And you think it's pretty easy.

Is in the house did to just look after the dogs?

Yeah? The house sitter is the dog Star. Yeah, and you think it's pretty easy. You just feed them, pad them, give them a bit of affection, they'll.

Be fine, welcome, and then enjoy the fruits. That is someone else's house.

Yes, exactly right. And these are family friends of ours who are living with their parents at the moment because they're saving to buy a house. This is great, perfect for them. So the night before we went away, our little dog Ted started vomiting everywhere the little sausage stock. So straight to emergency for Ted, because also we're leaving the next day. We're like, we can't just leave him sick and give him to someone else. So he goes to the vet. Anyway, we have to leave him there

I know, but he's so medicated at this point, he's not little legs aren't going to walk to We've also.

Got the big dog. I'm like, well, the dog's gonna at three o'clock in the morning overseas, pause on the phone to a builder trying to get someone to come and fix the gate.

I meanwhile, these two young kids who normally live at home just wanted a party house.

Yeah, and now they've got a dog on prozac and no front gate and another big dog who's trying to run down the street at every opportunity. Next minute, we get a call there's a leak in the roof. It's been raining in Melbourne, so we've got the roof tiler or the roof fixer going over there. Then we get the call saying, oh, Marla, the big dog dogs limping and I was like, what she ate little dogs?

Pro serious?

So I'm like, okay, what's wrong with her? So we're trying to wear THEMD the dog's foot diagnosis, So they take her to the vet. She's tripped down the stairs, they think, and ripped one of her toenails off and has an infected foot and needs surgery. Oh so now they've got that dog at the vet. They pick her up from their surgery and she has to go back every three days. She's on two lots of medication.

Small just handing it out.

I was just like you, why would we bother go away? Then we get the car to say, oh, by the way, your parking permits on the street have expired, so we've got to fine every day. Well you've been away, are.

You going to pay?

Were whipped, of course we do. I was like, did you sort of set fire to the house as well? That these Why does all that stuff happen? The dogs haven't been sick, and then the second we go away, both dogs get sick, the gate falls off, and the roof basically falls in.

So what are we asking? Thirteen twenty four ten. What medication?

You know? What happened when you went away?

Like?

Did the family pet die? My mum went away and she was so like every time she's like, if we go away and the dog dies with the house.

The dogs saw every time someone went away. Sorry, every time you mum went away?

Rest about it?

Oh? I thought you meant every time your mum goes away someone dies?

No, right, no?

Thirteen twenty fourteen.

It's always like he's so far away from home when things.

Go wrong thirteen twenty four ten. What happened at your place when you're away?

In return? I got tickets to f.

One, the movie from the filmmakers that brought you Top Gun Maverick comes the thrilling cinematic events during Brad Pitt f won the movie. It is in cinemas now, it's still playing, and we've got tickets. Thirteen twenty four ten. What happened when you went away?

What happens while you're on holidays or while you were away? We went away for a couple of weeks. Within that time, both dogs had to be taken to the vet. One got anxiety induced vomiting. I'm told one had an infected foot. The front gate fell off and the roof leaked. Oh and the parking permits expired. So anyone of our house it is that parked on the street or a parking fun.

A real treat, look after your joint.

I think did we owe them a holiday?

Yes? Back pre cameras, you know how like everyone's with cameras now and stuff like that. And this is a good lesson why you should get to know your neighbors. Lu, my wife and I went on a road trip. This is pre kids. I think we're about turning a bit of hours into the road trip.

And she looked at me and goes, did we lock the front door?

Was it one of those did you shut the garage? Oh?

I do that so many mornings. I think, have I left? When left the garage open? Did you have anyone to call?

Nope? Two and a half hours back. No, guess what the.

Garage were shark Yep, you'd almost want it to be open to make it weird wild.

You can call anyone, no, because we're just like we're living in Sydney.

We didn't have see well when all this stuff went down with well, we're away. My mum was away, my brother was away, our next door neighbors were away. I was just like, I can't even get anyone.

To help, you said. If I pulled into the street and I caught rubbers walking through an open garage, I'd feel like, well, that was worth it.

That was worth We did the US round trip.

We didn't leave straight away. We had some cool and often.

Well yeah, sitting in a car that would not be pleasant at this stuff. It always happens on holidays. Things go belly up.

Five houses up, Where are we? Oh, look, we're home. Let's go to mail in Diamond Craig Mail, what happened when you went away?

I just love the show than me and my family. My whole family went away on a trip to Hawaii for a mom six years. All the pets were staying at my sister's house with the house sit up.

So sister lives.

Probably three k from my parents' house. My dog, on the day that I was flying home, somehow escaped the backyard that she'd been secured in the last three weeks. I walked herself home across multiple like large road to our house, and then my neighbors just let her in the backyard, so she was waiting for me when she was safe.

She must have hated being looked after by that person so much.

Well, she was foreign for the three weeks that we were away, and then all of a sudden on the day did.

They tell you she was Were you on the plane the whole way? No?

No, she was at work. And then Mum got a text from the neighbors saying like, oh, Jazz is in the backyard, and we were like, what the hell what happened?

Oh my god?

Thank god she was safe.

Though that's not a text you tell them when you get home.

Yeah, but also if everything's fine, it's like, oh, don't bother them.

How was the trip? Was great? Jazz jazz? Oh we lost the dog?

Yeah, it's it's always when you're away. Bromen, what happened to you? There was drama? Yeah.

So I was about two days into my six week euro trip that I'd saved up for many years, and I wake up to a voice note from my upstairs neighbor and my house not being like hi, sorry, debug you of the our apartments fluttered and it's completely flooded your bedroom.

And I would have just been like, well, I live in Europe now, so that's fine. I'm never coming home. I'm staying here much.

And then I called my mom crying from across the world. Mom, I'm not an adult enough for this. Can you please just and sort it?

I'm not enough for this.

I know.

It's like things like you would never lose your wallet, but you'll lose it when you're overseas, and it's like, how did I do that?

A money belt?

Oh? You know who needed a money belt on our trip? Jack Charles from the Chrissy Swan Show pickpocket you got pickpocketed? Did he really big bucket?

He would have just got excited when he felt someone's hand in exactly.

I was like, were you dirty dancing with someone? He was like, no, I wasn't, as you got big bucket in any dirty dance floor.

Move Jack with a money belt. Let's go to my hood, Bentley is can I Joe morning?

John?

Morning guys. How are you.

So?

I've actually got two incidents with our sausage dog.

Yeah.

About the year ago, We're in Brisbane and my wife's brother was looking after them. Little did he know that our sausage dog can actually get up on the dining table. So she jumped up there, found some chocolate brownies. Ate them yeah, because they made with so much chocolate. Yeah, And the only issue was that my brother in law didn't have his license at the time. He calls my wife and he's in a panic saying, you know, table

To the vets baker's fault.

Yeah, we called up to find out, you know, how much chocolate? Isn't it our account bad? Is it? And she's like, no, this is really like an emergency.

So she shot the shop and went and took the dog to the bed.

Acually, and we had only hadn't met her once. So now we have some best friends and we're actually going overseas in two weeks with them to go to her wedding.

So than friends it, we'll make sure you don't leave any brownies on the table while you go away.

I love how people meet friends in the randomest ways.

That is random, That is real random.

What else did the door the second time. So this was more recently, about an hour before we do to drive to the airport to go to Sydney. Yep, the same dog. She found a little bottle of cbed oil for pets. We give her a couple of drops for her anxiety.

Sausage dogs, they're anxious.

Yeah, she she found that bottle and she consumed a fair chunk of that bottle and got absolutely stoned just before we were going to Sydney.

So you rang the dealer. He shot went and took it to the vet as well.

He shut close, pulled the garage door down, and off your tree.

I got to go to the just listening to Angelier talk about filming of ted Lasso has resumed. You know what else has to started filming? What Devil as Prada too?

Who's in it?

Anne Hathaway, Oh she's back, the angry bull guy that works with Anne half Hathway.

So it's the same car.

Yeah, it was some some I don't know. Meryl Streets. Meryl Street's back. She brown bread.

No she is not. Anna Wintour is no longer the editor at Vogue. No no, but Jeff Bezos bought Vogue for Lauren Sanchez as a wedding gift.

Apparently he bought Vogue magazine.

Is a winning a Vogue magazine? He bought Vogue magazine.

Yes, I would buy a magazine. He's always the magazine.

Winter has stepped down. The real devil was.

Let's go to Bella in Hardelberg and I Bella morning.

Hello, guys, how are we good?

You're twenty three? Have you seen The Devil Wears pri Yes? I have, Thank God?

Was great movie, great movies.

Yeh, there we go.

All right, Bella, Now you want to play for five thousand dollars this morning? What would you do if you won five k at twenty three years old?

Well, my partner and I were saving for a house.

So I would definitely go towards the house.

But it's also his birthday and Monday, so I've been trying to win in Lewis Teldy tickets.

But I guess I could get a few. Yeah, you can buy them.

So we're doing there all right? Five thousand dollars, five thousand dollars twenty three years old. My partner and I are saving for a hen.

Well, to be honest, you sort of need to start saving.

No, no, But at twenty three years old. We were saving for cover charge on Saturday night.

No, kids are more sensible than I, thank god.

All right, Bella, you're gonna hear the question. You will hear a three to two one. You have to answer in that time.

If you don't know how a guess, I will try.

How are you with history?

Oh goodness, yeah, not my strong point.

This is a history question.

All right, here we go.

You haven't been to America.

No, I haven't been to America for five thousand dollars.

Who features on the American two dollar bill?

Three two?

Good? Guess?

No, it's Thomas Jefferson, who was the third President of the United States. Yes, so, but you know, a lot of people don't even know there is a two dollar bill. I've been to America fifty times. Two dollar notes, the green ones, Yeah, were my age paper.

Bella, thanks to giving it a crack. I'll tell you what. How about we check your tickets to f one, the movie you can go on date night for you for your boyfriend's birthday. Thanks guy, no worries, You're welcome.

She's like, she was like, no, don't take pit, I.

Take Coming up in the next ten minutes, your chance to sing for the snow. We are taking the show to Mount Buller and we're offloading trips. You can win one or you have to do a sing a song about the snow. We're going to take auditions. So coming up next day. Oh, you're going to love what happened to me minutes before I left the house. She's going to be chilly and wet one today.

Funny old day out there, isn't it nothing like yesterday? No, yesterday, we've had some nice Bluesday was great, it was a ripper. What's the rest of the week doing.

So rhetorical?

No, I thought you might have known. Or Thursday fifteen and sort of funny much do what.

Over the school holidays? Yes, we did have some good weather. Yep, especially that first weekend. We went off to a nice little we went to lunch, little birthday lunch where you go snowhouse.

I love the snowhouse they have upstairs, downstairs, upstairs.

They've shut downstairs just for a few weeks over the colder period. Used to be pontoon. Now it's like stoakcase downstairs.

Pass upstairs they do do they still do those salt and vinegar, Yes, potato cakes, Yes.

They're a little bit more expensive than the fish and chip shop.

Yeah they are. I think some of them have caviar on them. Don't they add something on there?

I'm like, I just the potato cake anyway, So look, it's not normally my world, so I might let's dress up.

You love a fancy lunch, though, yeah, you don't do it a lot, and you like two a year, you know, and this was kid free. You would have you would have pulled out the cordless GHD straight in the hair, no basebook cap. What did you wear?

That was the issue?

Ram william Let me guess dark blue skinny jeans with an R M. Williams and like a white Rolfloren shirt with the sleeves rolled up in your hair straight.

Look, I would love to have all those design labels that you mentioned. But it was a it was a collared country road ship. Oh yeah, I went all.

Black actually, oh yeah, with an R M. Williams. Very but yeah, yeah that is very Melbourne, all black and.

Trying to get out of the house and also set up for a babysitter. Sometimes you just sit there and see is it worth it?

This is where I get confused. Are you paying them to do all that stuff. But you've still got to you do all these things, like you lay out their clothes and stuff, but you've.

Got to set out otherwise you get the text where's this, where's that?

Work it out?

You're on the payroll.

Yeah yeah no, but still so your kids are old enough to know where they're I know, but it's like, you know what, if you don't know yet, then have cold feet. You know, if you don't know where your socks are, then were thongs. It's a new kid.

It's more like getting their dinner sorted.

That's what you're paying them for.

No, but the baby sits looking after the kids. They're not coming in as the chef as well.

Here they are, well, surely they're cooking dinner.

Take it from someone with three kids. And I'm trying to get out the.

Door, get a mumber Eats star. Take the pressure I can't afford.

I'm just paid forty bucks for a potato cake.

Some vinegar potato cake.

But he's with the legs on top anyway, So I'm running around trying to get the kids ready.

I'm also what are you doing when you say running around? Because you get in it tears.

I know the problem is I start to swing.

You get in a flap trying to do things and you called me before I've been like, I'm trying to do that, and I'm like, it's not that, it's not worth getting.

Like I put my shirt on the last thing I did before I leave.

Just put my shirt on because I know I've been sweaty and I've been running around, but I'm trying to get like spaghetti bollonnais ready, and.

Then you're cooking this back.

I'm cooking that. You know, his nappis chi Like, there's clothes.

Here, she can find the nap anyway. You just trust me.

Trust me. There's things you have to set up as a woman with no children.

I think it sounds easy, you know what. Okay, I'll look after them next time.

Going to get you to come over one day and I Am not going to prepare anything.

Great, watch me. I'll survive. They'll survive. You'll come home. He might have he might have his shoes on the wrong feet and no napy on, but he will be have been.

Your left foot actuie, Oh I got frostbite. I didn't know where the socks.

Were, but I'd find them with a spot. Three drawers in the four year old's room. How hard can it be, or it'd have the big boy socks pulled all the way up to his thighs. That's too long.

Anyway, you'll love this. Ye finally got everything ready, trying to keep my temperature low. I'm straight in my hair because it's the one time of the year I won't wear a hat. I've got everything in place. Lugo's the Uber's out the front. Great, I'm just going to give my hair a quick head of hairspray because it's windy.

Yeah.

I opened the cabinet.

Yeah, keep mind.

Lots of arts and craft and weird crap floating around the house because it's school holidays. In the bathroom cabinet, I grab a can of what I thought was hairspray.

Yep, great.

Colored hair spray. Oh what color green?

Ah? No, was it just spray paint.

It's like a skunk was just like the one.

What did you do.

Overheated?

Then?

Let me tell you what did you know? What?

Your sleep canceled?

The uber had to do a little reset on the head.

You couldn't let logore you go. I'll be there twenty minutes.

Too many of those potatoes let.

It get started on the champagne with potato cakes.

Honestly, sometimes hang on.

Okay, now it's not tell the truth. How much did you overreact? Because I know you weren't calm or do a reenactment. What did you do? What did you do? And with the babysitters downstairs, so she's doing nothing because you've already cooked the spaghetti bolonnaise and laid out all the clothes. So she's sitting watching Netflix losing the uber. Tell me exactly what you said in them.

There, Charlie XCX, Good morning Melbourne. This this is over one hundred Oh, it's happened. It has happened.

I said, I said I'd behave till nine. It's nine oh three and I've hit a wall.

Guys, if you're just joining us, it's been a real roller coaster in here with one Lauren Phillips this morning.

So I love going on holiday, but I am a sucker for jet lag. And when I woke up, what I thought was this morning and it was time for me to get up and go to work. And I got up, I looked to the bathroom to get in the shower, and it was eleven fifty five. Last night. It was midnight, and.

I was like, uh oh, she came bouncing in here at five am this morning, which is an hour earlier than you're normally a.

Round totally, and I'd been up watching whale videos because I thought that would calm me and help me go back to sleep.

When I arrived, all the team looked incredibly tired, and I'm like, what's wrong and they're like, oh, Lauren's been here for an hour pitching.

Ideas, and then everyone said she's going to crash, said make it till nine o'clock. And I just walked in and I was like, it's happening. It's happening.

What did you just open?

I've got a tea and honey, soy chip. I don't know if it's lunchtime, breakfast, dinner time, or does it shout out to all those who were lucky enough to go away but are battling children with jet lag too, because it's hard enough as an adult. I don't know how you do that with kids.

Know the worst. We flew to Bali once because of the time difference.

It's like three hours right.

No, but we're living in New Zealand at the time.

Oh, five hours time So we got there.

And it was nighttime. We're exhaustics were just carted.

You know, ye would have been ready to party, and the kids are like, let's go.

Were like, no, let's go to bed. Let's go to bed.

I don't know how anyone travels.

I sat in the shower, just like awake, playing games and like let's.

Stay coloring in and oh my, you think is it really worth it?

And it wasn't. You know what Lou said, Luke crackt. It goes. We're never leaving. What do you mean?

I get it, I get it, I get it.

That's it. We are out of here. Aaron Richards in next, have a great day, bron Thank you so much for listening. Melbourne.

We will see you, well, we might not see you, but you'll hear from us tomorrow. Jason Lauren Lauren wake up feeling good following them on the socials