Full Show: She Didn't Burn My WIlly

Good morning Melbourne, Jason Lauren, start your morning the right away.

This is Jason Lauren.

You're on.

Well, good morning Melbourne and happy Ferrada e. Good morning morning everyone. Caresley is in the house. Good morning. Well I saw you was us up? I was sued up last night at Golamor on the grid.

It's nice night, actually was it? My social media feed was full of glamorous outfits.

Run me through. This is for people who don't know. They do a little event in the pits.

Yeah, on the pits Albert Park like track.

So it's like an opening party.

It's been described. I don't get this because you're in a Harry the Higher Tent the met Gala for Melbourne.

Well, well I don't think it's it's not the same concept, not quite there. But it's saying it's like the biggest fashion events on the Australian calendar.

Yeah. I've got some inside gos from from the event, which I'm bringing you later.

This Morning's pretty fancy.

More importantly, or derbs Aaroncini.

No Aranchini, A lot of fish what yeah, like kingfish, So that's sort of set up. I would have loved a sausage roll.

It sounds like a skinny menu.

Do you think they're serving sausage rolls at the met gala?

You know what they should?

You know exactly what about on the way out, On the way out, a little sausage roll wouldn't hurt.

Well, you can just swing past seven eleven and grab one.

On the way Jumbo sausage rolls, very.

Strong travelers, a little rat coffin.

So the travelers, aren't they like? So you can eat them in the packet and you don't get the crumbs all over you.

Yeah, that's why they call the travel Yeah.

That's a great idea.

Yes, I was very disciplined last night, though. It's like, come on Stays Day, all the usual culprits.

Who is there?

Oh no, I'm going to go. I'm only in week two.

Hang on, mother, Teresa. You make it sound like you know the good christ time.

I get hurt about eleven? Yeah? Eleven?

What time you start?

Like?

Eight? I was in bed by Yeah, I saw, I saw one of your friends was off to the glamor on the grid and you're in your in your tracky day.

My best friend Lucy and my brother and sister in Laura helped them all get ready and sent them on their way while I looked after the baby momentarily.

Yeah right, how was babysitting.

I had a champagne with them though, because you know.

Fom the baby said was boozed.

Awesome, baby in one hand champagne and the other.

Yeah, that's how our moms did. We turned out.

No, you're that's rookie. That's rookie. You need one of those hats that I've got that holds the two cups with a straw, then you can change them at the same time.

Yeah, just don't.

Tilt your head too far forward or some might spill on them.

It's good to share.

Teach everyone looks. Everyone looked great.

Tops are thirty one today. It is a chilly eleven degrees.

At tops of twenty one today.

That font's got to change.

We've got to get these temperature screens fixed.

Can I get some bifocals place.

Tops of twenty one? You got me excited when.

You said when you squint.

Yeah, don't go home and change your outfit into hot pants and a single.

You know the weather screen is here and nover like those old artwork where you've got a squint, magic guy, magic guy and then Boom jumps out at you.

I could never do those.

Harmon bridge from is amazing.

Hey, guys, let me take you to Japan. I love Japan, beautiful country. I don't know much about their political landscape though, but a scandal has come out involving the ruling party and some scantily clad dances. That's right, it's emerged the Liberals Democratic Party, which has the majority over there through an event. And this is how it's written. You know how. The Japanese are very polite. The way they would at

I'm uncomfortable in strip clubs.

I think are they called strip clubs? I don't think so anymore? Adults dancers?

And it was with a bunch of people from radio. How sad is this over there? If you would like a lap dance, you pay for the song, right, So.

It might be like questing a song.

No no, no, so it might be like fifty dollars. But the lap dance is the length of the song.

So what's that meat lofe song that has ninety It.

Was so sad because I was there with radio people, so they all knew how long would go. So a long song would start and you watch them all go I'm going to dance.

I'm gonna do it.

No one would be picking that Amy Sharks absolutely, yeah.

At fifty eight you barely got your money out, like and it's over.

Jez knew what he was doing.

Absolutely thirteen twenty four to ten. If you have a stripper story, an adult adult dancing yarn, all right, we'll go with that. I I'll tell you about what happened on my bucks did night at the airport.

Well, you you've got a lap dance at the airport.

So I was living in Brisbane at the time. I was flying down to Sydney to see the lads. Was two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and I've flown in wearing like my one collar shirt, jeans, ready to go right, and they said, look, we're just going to pick you out from the airport.

Had you already straightened your hair? Do you have a hat on?

No, pre pre straightened. It's two o'clock. I'm outside Quantas. There's families like line up next to me at the pickup bay, and then I hear do it. A stretch hummer comes rolling into the airport, which is embarrassing enough. And then a girl gets out oh with.

A whip oh at the airport at the airport.

In the pickup zone in front of families, points at me, does the whip and tells me to get the in the car. At two o'clock in the afternoon, so I'm holding my overnight pag. I get in the stretch hummer. They're all like four sheets to the wind.

So they're like, what did you have a backpack on?

No?

I had like a little overnight looking my wheel. So I get in the hummer. Everyone's trolleyed in the car, right, this is two o'clock in the.

Afternoon, because they've been going since ten am. They what were you thinking flying down at two o'clock? Of course they're don't get started on the breakfast cocktails.

That's when she got me to lie on the floor of the hummer.

And as we're leaving this this story appropriate to tell you, and that's.

Fine, she gets me to lay on the floor of the strip hummer and then pulls out a little vial of liquid.

What are you sure this story is appropriate? You already got the dump button ready to go. What we've only just started here, don't get us fired.

She has this little bit of liquid and sprays it over me, right down my pants, and then pulls out a match. Drops the match. Now keep mind the car is moving. My pants go up in flames, and then she quickly pats them out and goes. And that was her party trick.

I can't believe you weren't wearing a seatbelt.

You running the cast outs, cheering, and I'm laying on the ground with singed pans, hang on, completely completely sober.

What was in the vial of liquid?

Well, obviously something flammable.

That's not normal. You can't be setting people on the fire.

And then what was yeah, well like a burn my jeans a little bit and everyone was cheering. I haven't even had the jocks off, big yeah. And the worst bit was you.

Wouldn't want to sing it.

Get to this free wedding, Sydney CBD. It's now three pm and obviously.

He's not acknowledging me, is he Clint?

She didn't burn my willy, but it got to three o'clock we had to let her out in the city because the tower was up.

She was off to burn somebody else.

Did you get out? That's wild?

Yeah, I've never heard of such a thing. If my husband came back from his Bucks party and was like, you'll never guess what an adult dancer step me on fire?

Thirteen, twenty four ten. The bar has been.

Set Oh that's what you're calling it. The bar has been set on fire?

Do you have an adult dancer tail? Not a strip of story?

They sinjured?

E two done?

Isn't that what Bronterry calls.

Thurday twenty fourteen. In return, I'll give you two hundred bucks to fill up on fuel and coffee at Shell call's express. The adult dancer at my Bucks can highly recommend the fuel there at shell thirty ninety fourteen.

That's not funny.

Join us on the year thirteen twenty fourteen, what is your adult dancer story?

Well done, Jase, Thank you adult dancers. They've got into trouble in Japan in the parliament never been. They referred to them as go go dancers who accepted money in their mouth and their nickers.

I've just got a message from a friend and with a story about a Gerbil, but I'm not sure if it's true or appropriate. Thirteen fourteen.

They don't dance.

Let's spends the club? Scott, what's your story?

Was my twenty first birthday?

Had a Frank Tanner having a few drinks, having a good time.

Friends get an adult answer?

Yep.

They tied me to a chair, blindfold me, lift my shirt up and my pants shaving cream, set me on fire.

You got burnt too?

What is going? Do we not be setting people on fire?

It wasn't any better. It was on video and my partner at the time was watching Make It set a light on fire?

The fire?

Is that a kink? Is it?

I don't know.

It doesn't have my book.

It's like when parents they don't run with scissors, don't strip with a flame, like I think it needs to be a rule.

Yes, there it is.

Okay, we're talking adult entertainment.

That's the one.

That's what we're talking. We're not all adult entertainment, adult professional.

Is it true you got someone kicked out of my pop.

It's otherwise known as baby Cats.

Oh it's Melbourne once, just around the corner.

I walked in and I took like five steps inside and this bloke came out there.

I was doing a story.

And the guy goes, oh, can I get a selfie? And I just I didn't realize what the etiquette was, realized where you were because I've never been before. He snapped a selfie and got wrestled to the ground and taken out because you're not allowed to take photos in there. They were like, no photos, mate, Chelsea Camp. It wasn't me. I just walked away.

You know, you can't be do anything. You're not allowed to take photos in there?

Is every man for himself in there.

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, Remember I was staying.

Night.

There were more women there than men.

Sorry, Laura, that's what you dabbled in the World of Stripping two.

Well, I didn't, but I was living with a friend who threw a Bucks party and I just I didn't know they were going to the races and it got rained out, so they all came back to the house and I I just got out of the shower in my towel, and this woman was in my room and said, oh, I didn't know there was two of us working today, And I was like, who are you? And she was the hired adult dancer for the Bucks party? Who thought

Right. A competitive market, I imagine, Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. If you were getting paid to be there, you wouldn't want it. You wouldn't want someone else splin the tips.

Yeah right, So do you go split the tips? How did it work? Or did you just let her happen?

I put my clothes on very quickly and climbed out the window.

Like the opposite of what she was doing. Third e twenty four ten. If you have an adult dancer story, let's go to the phones.

Let's go to Elwood Millie. Good morning morning. What happened?

So I would have been about seven or eight, and we were having like a massive like I've got a massive family, right, And it would have been about twenty other kids around my age or my cousins kids, and we were sitting around at my holiday house having like lunch or like an early dinner or something like that lunch an income like a group of like four or five like girls dressed with whips and like a big speaker ready to get it on.

It's the big speakers. It did give aways, and it took.

Them like a good minute and a half to kind of realize, like walking up the whole driveway to realize that we weren't the right house and it was the house across the road having a bus party.

Oh and they turned up with all the kids sitting on the floor having family.

The parcel here.

No wow, say all right, James from cranberr and good morning. I believe a dancer caused an injury.

Love to but.

Welcome back guys. But yeah, I was about sixteen or seventeen years old and I was at one of a family friends like my brother's best mate bucks party. I want to drink responsibly. We had he had an adult dancer and he had stretcherr earings like big ones because he like whatever. The adult dancer was giving him a lap dance. And as she's gone to put her leg over his head, no high heel has gone through his ears. No no, yeah, vomited instantly, So my brothers mate need to call me chucky.

So he's covered in blood and vomit.

I vomited on dad.

Right, thank you, fashion police.

I was just looking up the schedule for today. Hit me so well, there's the Porsche Carrera Cup. But then there's something called the Ford Supervan.

The supervans, which I've never heard of. The supervan.

I've never heard of people racing vuns before. The Superman looked them up up and they're actually racing valves. It's like pulling out the tarago.

We should take the Casanova.

Look they actually race varnds.

Oh my god, like a mum's burnout contest in the van.

They got four kids in that. Absolutely wow, I've never seen that. Is that a new thing?

Do they do a fly over today Sunday? I love a flyover?

They smoke, they do the yeah?

Is that the roulette the ones that do all the formation and.

The big couny plane as well, the contest plant.

But the Formula one we said before, the F one cars, they don't actually hit the track today. Tomorrow is their first practice.

Right question question passengers on board the contest.

I think so, I don't think you going to put petrol in that thing.

I don't think they do the contest plane anymore, do they?

Because I don't think it used to fly very low.

Very very low eight they usually yeah, got it involved.

Yeah, clear the airspace the big boys coming from anyway?

Last night, would you say Glamor on the Glamour on the grid Melbourne Nights, Well, one of Melbourne's night of Nights Melbourne was dazzling. It's very elaborate. There are some big, big gowns.

So this is the opening night party and it's on the back straight.

Yeah, yeah, in pit lane basically in the panic.

Alright, let's go through a couple Okay, Well.

First almost there's a lot of high danger there because walking around I was stepping on all these lavish dresses. There was one lady who had was covered in black feathers, and I stepped on her dress a couple of times and the feathers went like an ostrich like Ozzie Ostrich.

There's nothing worse than wearing one of those long dresses with a train and you're just walking, minding your own business, and someone stands on the back and all of a sudden you get is it really the.

Place for him?

You need to be holding it? No trains, you know what you got train, you got a chain. You take your bridesmaids. You have the people that hold it.

Oh you imagine turning up with like four people in your feathers.

Go through these. These are my highlights. Yeah, we've got a slide show here, Jason, right, just for you. First one.

Yeah, let's go.

Oh oh it is Jamie as a party. The stylist, Clint took us through that.

That looks well, he looks like he's in a sleeping bag from anaconda. It's like a giant puffy one.

You know. It looks like I think they're wearing a pant suit with a very elaborate coat.

It looks like a pregnancy pillow.

That's what it does.

Pregnancy pillow.

Have you ever had one of them?

They are incredible. Don't wait to get up the daft buy a pregnancy don't get yourself one.

Today we've got the king sized pillows, the really long ones, and I flipped that on its side and.

Very strong out because I remember when Lou and I were fighting, I'm like, you could leave me, I've got my pregnancy pillow. I'll still be spooned.

So Jamie in blue, that's that's number one. I'm going to give that one.

Of the team colors, Clint.

This is Pip Edwards.

Pip Edwards is very cool.

Pip has gone from pe Nation fame. She's gone with a lovely frock but has jazzed up with a leather jacket.

It's perfect. It's motorsport.

It's got a bit of an edge to it. Looks actually arrived in a sidecart. But I love it, okay.

Because it's it's I mean, she's got a train. You wouldn't like that, Clinton, but I think the leather jacket makes it a vent appropriate.

What do you got, Carson? My final one? Final one?

Yep. This is Maria Fatil always looks and no Anna Hope, one of Melbourne's couples.

Gorgeous.

She's forgot the outfit. She just remembered the belt. All she's done is bring a belt.

Well safety first, Ja so her whole.

Front is strapped up in a belt. In many wearing a.

Belt, she's wearing four belts as a dressed.

Lara Bingle was at a function the other day and wore I'm sure it was some very expensive design. It was just belts all done up down the front.

She can't go to the airport. You know, you got to take your belt security, No should. Got a good mate of mine, miles over in the UK. Used to work together in New Zealand. He went back home. Stay in touch a lot online, but you know what it's like with friends overseas. You might go a number of weeks or months before you catch up.

But how good Like the internet can be good and bad, but social media and all those apps are so great for staying in touch with people who.

Move one hundred percent. You still feel like you're part of each other's lives. And then you know you'll check into a Skype call down and then because of the time difference.

But half the time, because of social media, you feel like you know what they're doing anyway, so you don't reach out and check in.

Exactly exactly and you think, oh, everything seems fine over there. And normally because the time difference him and I'll talk on the way to me coming into work. Yeah. Yeah, And this morning I woke up to a post from him, and I feel like a really shit friend, to be honest, because exactly like you said, you know, you just think you haven't spoken a while. Everything looks good online, their life must be going well. But he started the year by discovering he had a lump on his testicle, went

It was just like mate, to assume everything is good in somebody's life, but ultimately they could be going through quite a time, right.

Yeah, I'll tell you what. I read it this morning and I got straight in the shower. He did a post and replied to a message that I'd send him just checking in. I'll tell you what, because blokes don't really talk about this stuff a lot. I jumped in the shower straight away this morning and had a check and it was frightening, but a really good reminder.

Yes, absolutely, you know.

And us can be really terrible. I'm the worst part of doctor's appointments likewise, I mean naivety, and I think I'm okay, you know, if I don't think about it, it'll be fine.

Yeah, I think a lot of people women, a lot of women are like that too. But it is a poignant reminder that because often when you think you might feel something or find something, you think, oh, no, they'll be fine, and you're embarrassed. You don't want to go to the doctor and go, oh, I don't know if I'm overreacting. No one wants to be a hypochondriac, right, But you've got to stay on top of that stuff because and thankfully he did well.

I mean he said, like, you know, he was joking around, but he goes, you know how I splokes in on the couch with our hand down our pants and he goes in that.

I have noticed that all men I've ever come across in my life to.

God, you get up is for checking. But yeah, he goes, I was sitting there.

That's checking. It's allowed, Okay.

A lot of the time it's when you're hung People do that.

Yeah, it's a it's a real comfort thing, isn't it.

Isn't it holding you WILLI?

Yeah, well you don't hold the will it? You just check the hand down the end waters down there, just halfways on the cupping.

Just putting your hands in your pants, keep your fingers warm.

Depends the position you're sitting on the couch. If you're in a reclined thing, you might cut.

But then you, guys, this is my issue with it. You don't think get up and wash your hands before you do anything. Just go about your day, Go and make a sandwich.

There is clean, is it? Though? Give us a look at your phone.

I wouldn't touch I.

Touch her all.

Holding hands off my phone as long as you're checking, it's fine.

But that's that's literally how it came about for him. And he was sitting there watching TV and he's like, oh, it doesn't feel right, and yeah, it was just it was a it was a smack over the head this morning. A just how quickly things can change, and b just you know, social media can put up a fake little front of what people are going through.

Doctors will say in the shower for blokes, do they best best way to check?

Were you there? You know I can tell you how I did this morning? I bloody it was the first thing I did, so it's a good wake up call. Any any boaks listening this.

Morning on the couch with your hands down your pants? Fellas make it useful.

For it, so don't listen to our show? Why are you're doing? And I find that quite weird?

Come on the.

Pies, the Pies you reckon.

Big night tonight taking on some Kilda. I thought they're actually in pretty.

Good form last week at the MCG. But the Pies are hard to beat at.

The MCG exactly. And you know what we're do for a win? We need a win? You do were there?

Any?

I don't know the last time Collingwood?

Don't think so?

Zer on three?

Has it ever happened?

So premiers stumping up the next to you to defend their premiership? It's never happened zero and three.

I don't think it will happen.

I think we'll get up tonight.

Question.

You're a glamor on the grid last night for the Formula One Any of the pies there?

Josh Decos was there? Josh's beautiful girlfriend.

She is lovely.

They are like the possm bex.

Or they just you know what, he needed to be in bed.

They might have slipped out the side door there the ambassadors. He wasn't there.

He's like the face of this train gone free.

Well, take a cardboard cutout because he needs sleep.

Isn't it a night game? He probably needs to stay up late.

Actually, okay, cancer, don't follow my advice. Guys, do what you do best.

He's smashing the margueritas.

Actually, don't say that.

Did you pull all the money?

Did you see that hysterical photo that Collingwood posted on their Instagram page when Taylor Swift was in town and it was Josh day Coss and his beautiful girl friend Analyst, And he's sitting there with a bottle of water and her and they're in their seats smiling like Taylor Swift fans. And Tom Hawkins from Geelong, who's one of my favorite people in the world, is sitting directly next to him, two beers, one in each hand. He's double. He's got two beers and Josh DCOs is in there like the

We've got to get him on. He's going to get.

Through it at two forty nine, first before three, and then we can three. My gosh, you're discounting in mahamah three forty nine.

It's a lot of games.

There's also a chance this year that he will break the record for most amount of games played at saloon.

Bruce mca right there, I forgot.

My Tom Hawkins badge today, but I am here a number one fan. Give me give me a huge though. Three hundred and fifty games huge.

Clint headed to the Formula one Grand Prix yesterday. We're about to hear an exclusive interview he did.

He was down at Albert Park. Very professional, our Clint stand Away, our Formula one correspondent for this week.

I've just heard how this recording starts. Did you think we're crossing to you on the news.

Live from the F one paddock?

Okay, let's do it like where news reader is. Okay, cool, and now we're going to cross to our Formula one correspondent at Formula one Paddick at Albert Park. Clint stand Away, good morning.

Nailed that, Jason Lauren, thank you so much.

We're here with f Ye Ace Battery Boddis in Melbourne ahead the Grand Prix on Sunday.

Thanks for being with us, Thanks for having me.

Now, first and foremost, we are in a pimped up car.

What are we what are we seeing? What are we feeling in here? I'm feeling great.

It's a ute which we created together with uber Kaisha. It's actually on rant for people for free right the Eastern peerage, and.

I mentioned it's pipped out. There are so many cool mod cons. What do we got I'll turn off this. What's that? It's got a pie warmer and the pies are piping hot?

Your meat pie kind of guy. Yeah, I'm getting getting into meat place lately. You know, it's a very ausy thing. Accident. But do you have sauce with the meat pie? I don't yet?

You go rag, yeah, yeah, but yeah, it's yeah, there's a car with many features for a perfect world trip.

Hey, you're a really popular driver on the circuit. I mean we hear so much here in Australia about Oscar, about Daniel, but you're kind of half Australian.

Good say so, yeah, I feel like that, and I've got so much support here that is actually is really really I feel really welcome when.

I come here.

We're in a ut.

As you say, I'm intrigued to know what was your first car.

My first car as an eighteen year old was actually Ford Cougar, like a COUPETV six.

It sounds a lot nicer than my first car. My first car was a Ford Laser Okay cream in color nineteen eighty two. My co host Jas yesterday morning he was trying to reverse into a car park and he hit the brick wall. He's not very good on the roads. What's the stupidest accident you've had off the track?

Off the track?

I will also say parking lot And it was actually last year I reversed. If it wasn't my car, it was somewhere in the US. Yeah, this STV is reversed in a parking lot. I didn't see there was this massive concrete pole and ripped off the whole left of the mirror. So what do you put that down to? Down to lack of concentrate. Okay, see it happens the best of human ever. We're in Melbourne. Obviously it's a bit windy today, a bit overcast. Hopefully the sun will

Sat Ali's, Oh Saint Ali.

Yeah, it's just around the corner from us at Nova. What's years sort of go to coffee a lata you'd be alate guy.

In the morning will be flat white.

Okay, it's a very astrange coffee.

Yeah, it's good coffee here.

Okay.

I know you've got the beautiful mullet going at the moment. It's bleach blonde. It looks superb. Hell have you had the mullet for malette?

Has now?

It turned probably fifteen months Okay, I would say but it got bleached by the Australian Sunday in January.

Because you've got the mullet.

I want to throw a few Australian words at you.

See how you go? All right? You ready? Sanger sandwich?

He's good.

Chock a block full? That's two tu trackie dacks.

Tracking dacks?

Is it just like trackies or tracksuit pants? What about if you crack a bevy, crack and crack have a beer?

Yeah you are actually and finally and I'm gonna say crack up and call one.

A cold one a frothy and obviously I'll give you a motoring term.

What about if I pull into a servo service station?

Is it he is? You've passed the citizenship battery? Good luck on Sunday and I would park. It's been a pleasure, Thank you, my pleasure. What a good lady bodess? How good is he? Of course when I say he's half AUSTRAI he's dating an Australian girl, has been for the last five or six years.

Cyclist.

Yeah, she's she's going to be trackside and good luck to him on Sunday. First car was a cougar, Yeah, cougar Ford cougar, quite swish looking car as a field them.

But he's a car guy.

Yeah, h who's he actually drive for sale? Hey thirteen twenty four ten. Good to know he backed into a pole like me as well.

Yeah, he's also at klutz.

Happens to the best, it.

Really does, Lauren thirteen twenty four ten. If you want to join us on the at the moment, I want to talk crap cars.

Oh yeah, like what.

Was you know? How bad did your car get? Were you driving along the Monash telling the exhaust?

Yeah, one of my best friends. You couldn't get in the front seat passenger side. You can only get in through the driver's side of the car, so you had to either get in and climb across to get into the front passenger all climbing in and out the window.

Yeah, that's a cool was.

The only option?

Yeah?

Not a cool look in like as a female in a skirt trying to go to the club.

Good call. Thirday twenty four ten. Formula one Grand Prix comes alive from today here in Melbourne and.

They are fancy cars. But that is not what we want to talk about this morning, Jason.

Absolutely not. What's wrong with your car? Or what has been wrong with it?

How crap was your car? Chris from Barritt.

Good morning, Good morning guys. How are we?

Are we good? How bad are we talking to?

Oh?

Bad? Mate?

So I'll set the scene nineteen eighty seven, tied to Camery pink pinstrip racing seat no fifth gear and the driver's seat. You know the old ratchet wheel that would recline the seat y yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he didn't have one of it. Didn't have one of those? Why would you need one when you've got a broom wedged into the rear seat holding full tension on my seat?

Otherwise would the seat just fall back?

Yeah, it'd be flat like a bed.

An accident though that broom handle could impale your head.

I would not be here.

There's probably many safety issues to do that car. Is he still driving it?

No? No, I've upgraded toper mom car.

A soccer mumbeer.

Yeah it is a day.

Did you trade it? No?

I think I gave it to scrap.

I think yeah, right to the record thirteen twenty four ten. That's great. I love when people have to replaced parts in a car, which is things around the house. Guys, what was your first car.

Well, my dad was in worked in cars, so he got me a Toyota Corolla sent a little hatch battle I really wanted, you know what I wanted though, I wanted one of those cotibles. No, no, no, I wanted one of those rab falls that came in the purple color, like I felt like all the cool girls had them. I didn't get one.

Did you have the eyelashes on you? I got it on you front?

No.

I never had that, never had the eyelashes, and never put a red nose day nose on the front of my car like some of the other.

I did nineteen eighty two Ford laser cream in color cream. It was an green slud shipbox cream cream. It was manual, though, so it taught me some beautiful life lessons.

On the line on the rail manuals. I didn't pass my manual license.

Yand a lancha which all four windows they used to just slowly fall down as you were driving. Yeah, so Dad sort of he sort of taped them permanently so they didn't come down, so he couldn't open them.

My old man taking like the side panels off the car and everything, and I'm like, how do you know how to do this.

My mum had a Mazda Astina that had the pop up lights.

That's the ones I'm thinking about lights with the eyelashes.

No, we never had eyelashes on them, but they will pop up lights. And I was like, that is sick all right.

Thirteen twenty four ten. What's wrong with your car? Have you driven an absolute heap before?

Tony in Mount Martha? What was your car?

Good morning guys, to hear you again, Good on your tones.

I had a Kermit Green Dat's and Stanza.

Oh strong color sm green. Wrong with it?

It had no windscreen wipers.

That's no windscreen amongst others think that that was the main concern. So in torrential rain, I'd have to open the window and have the head out.

Like a dog, like ace Ventura. You were driving on like a Ventura?

Wow, oh god, no windscreen wipers. Wow, the things people used to do back in the day. You'd be you'd get in all sorts, get your own.

Worthy certificate there all the fund's gone now. Sarah in Irasbury, good morning, What did you drive?

I drove a nineteen sixty nine four of you.

Yeah, that's nice.

You should be.

My dad would chopping youth.

Yep, was it high functioning?

Not at all great? What was wrong with it?

Back in the day when you pull into the survey that they would come out to steal the car up. They'd go to the petrol cap that I'd have to pull the cover off because Daddy made it. Makes your petrol tank in the back of the ute.

Hang on, hang on. He made a second tank or like the original one was tank.

Because the first one rusted out, so he had to put.

A new one.

That's it.

And what he just put it in the tray.

He put it in so it was still underneath, but the actual nozzle was coming out from in thee.

That's strong, dad, I think better than exposed petrol tank.

Nothing like a DIY petrol tank.

And you see the footage of that guy who was filling up his boat. There was fuel all over the servo. Yeah, and instead of putting it in like the actual petrol tank slot, he's put it in the rod holder and the boat is fuel.

Yeah, he was going straight into the boat. Oh shame.

Let's go to Emma on thirteen twenty four to ten. Emma, you drove a nineteen eighty seventy eight A camry like one of our earlier callers, I sure did.

And it was spectically a family heirloom that was passed down from my auntie to my cousin and then to me. Yeah, and I think I probably did the most damage to it. Unfortunately, more than once I had scrap metal places leave their business card on there.

Oh yeah, throwing it around.

I also had someone called the police once. They just assumed it was like a dump vehicles. The best driver at eight, so I had.

To peep in.

But the main problem with it was that the starter motor would occasionally just not start. And when I say occasionally, like at least three times a week. And the first time I called the r a c V and the guy gave me the hot tip to hit it with a tire iron, so he showed me where to hit it in the engine when it wouldn't start, it did, so when I wouldn't start, I'd have to lift up the hood and then just splash the engine with the hole until the cart.

Like a nice cafe.

That was the worst. My dad's car used to like not start all the time, and when you'd be at school pick up and you'd be just praying, just please if you ever start, just once more make it now?

What about the r A c V with the flashing lights about that's rock bottom.

Our recv's advice there, Just pop in and give it a bash.

Lights, save them coming out.

It's for some time.

The thumb Executive producer works on the show What Do You Used to Draw?

So it was my best mate fat Ben from high school and we loved fat Ben and he loved it the name don't worry. But he bought an old Ford Falcon, I think it was a ninety three, but his speedo didn't work, so the only way you could tell how fast you were going was by the other cars on the road.

So we just kind of match up pace markets. That's good.

What about if no one else was on the road.

Oh, then we just kind of guessed it.

Estimate. He needs to drive through the tunnel with those really helpful lights that are in the vern tunnel light the pace setters. That just reminds you how slow you're going.

Because I went through it the other day, I really liked it.

Really would but you inevitably get someone who's a bit slow in front of.

You and then the light's just well, you're stuck in traffic, and it's like, this is how fast you could be going. Instead you're stuck in the tunnel. Could you keep up?

Yeah? I don't like when the woman comes over there the radio favorite song.

Oh yeah, still a Leapers playing we have a six car. I'm going to see it in the minute, Sheryl.

Just maintain a safe breaking distance of thanks love, No, what I was going to do was tailgate the person.

Economy at firebox sixty nine. Get off my radio?

I agree?

What was wrong with your give us the yelks?

Rhiannon from Ringwood, Oh, you were driving a toyo to for my favorite cars back in the day. What color was it? First? And foremost knew it?

You jealous?

I'm jealous. I wanted one.

So still time, Larren.

They were like quite a friendly.

Purple trading the range for the RAV and the hot.

Chicks al drove them and I was like, one day I want to be like them. Rhiannon, talk to me. Was there something wrong with it or are you just calling to rub it in that I didn't get the car that I wanted and you did.

No, it had an issue with the central locking system.

And long story short, the only door that I could open with my.

Booty day.

Great gry is amazing.

You could just see it like on Chapel Street, just popping the boot, climbing up over the front seat and in she gets good on you ran.

It used to be so easy when you were a kid. Now trying to move from the back seat to the front, your limbs get caught.

I don't even think our first car had seat belts in the back seat.

No ours didn't either.

And we we are a friend of ours had one of those utes with the seats facing outwards in the back.

Yeah.

Yeah, if anyone drove up the back of the car, you've been Also, my.

Dad used to I got three of the sisters, Mam and Dad, throw us in the back of the car.

No seat belts, no seats, they like bench seats.

Yeah, it was great. I drank the kool aid. I bought a Frank Green water bottle for Clint yesterday, Thank you. Jace got it in the D's colors, and I had got a little monogram on there for you didn't know.

It says D's nothing you. Unfortunately, I was privy to the two hours of planning that it took him to design that Frank Green bottle for you. He changed the color sixty five times.

The website is very overwhelming. It's actually not incredibly too much color choice.

You just have to choose a bottle color and a lid color and heating smell.

Made it to the checkout yet?

Me too?

What did you get?

I just went blue crazy after two hours of designing yours, I thought I really need to get out of here.

I've gone no over red, yes, proud company gal.

Yeah, I choose to wait for my probation period to pass before I choose my water bottle and the company colors.

I'll have to change the.

Have you done a la? Yes?

So I do something very very silly this week. We live in a little terrace. We don't have a lot of garden, but in the garden space we have, I've tried to make it like a little oasis like there. We live in inner city.

So have you gone an olive free and that at the moment on the block, have a nice little court put a little olive trick?

Do you like that? Bloody fortune?

They are expensive.

People drop big coin on plants.

Mate, yeah, and so you want to keep them a little bit of.

The Japanese maple very very nice.

We've actually got one of those that we inherited when we bought the house and renovated, and I was like, get rid of that. Looks like a bunch of sticks. And the gardener came was like, oh no, no, no, no, that doesn't been looked after. Let's re poet and repurpose that back to life.

And it's beautiful, flourishing.

Yes, stunning. You've seen that stunning only for like a month a year though, just the actual beautiful pillars come out.

You're just tuning in there be like the garden. Gu it's overbought the garden.

It's us, that's U foster on here.

Have you seen that he needs a shave?

Sorry, that's it's too much. It's a lot of fur.

No, it's get out the bloody mington yeah, or a whipper snipper. I was going to say, he's seeing that. We take a photo of your plants and then it tells you what you need to do to the plant to bring it back.

I've seen it on Instagram.

Does it work used? I've always wanted to download me Too, but.

I've never should we try it?

It's almost got me to the app store, Yeah, because.

It gives obviously a little tidbit, like you know you should add a little bit of lemon with that one.

Yes, yeah, And it tells you what's wrong with it.

This one needs water blood app.

But you can also overwater, which is a problem with some indoor pluts. Anyway, outside, we've got these beautiful trees. We like lined. I wanted it to look like a bit of a hedge. We got these beautiful trees around the edge. But we've recently had a heat wave and the heat wave is really making my trees suffer, just looking a little dry much rain.

We also know they neighbors begone.

They're not neighbors begone. But I said to someone the other day, why didn't we just get neighbors begone instead of these?

And you know what else, Mari and what's his face?

I think I think that broke up that Chris and Marks from one back alley, Hello, Hello, Ma back gully.

I think they did split Murray be gone.

He always had neighbors begone. And I've had problems with these trees because we bought out the front like smaller trees, and then out the back because our living room looks on it. We bought mature age trees, which you do pay a lot more for because they've been growing for a lot longer. And then we had a possum that was walking along the fence line eating them all down. So they ended up being the same size as the

Salt, sea seas you know, Yeah.

I didn't know that. I've never heard of sea No, I'm sprinkling sea salt flakes.

Around the Yeah.

No, it's like in the you know, and you get in the box.

You should try pepper in the box, pepper on there.

As well, Sea salt flakes all over the garden.

Day, Franklin, what are you doing?

You know Franklin would be rolling.

I am feeding the plants, and he just looked at me like I was born yesterday. Does everyone know about sea salt?

Yeah?

Do I know? Ye? Don't forget the seat.

So there's no way I'm the first person to have done that. There's just no way on earth.

Silly woman.

Have you trees are going beautifully?

Have you've done a Lawren? Thirteen twenty fourteen. Are they going to die?

Well, I'll let you know, yeah, right, because I didn't pick up any every grain that I sprinkled.

Let's see if you are the only person in Melbour who has made this stupid mistake. Thirteen twenty four ten. Have you done a Lauren?

Have you done Laura?

Thirteen twenty four ten is our number? What have you killed in the garden is what we're asking this morning.

Well, you know what, keeping plants alive is so but hard. I've got a fiddle leaf in my house and it is not looking healthy. But the trees outside needed seasl and I put sea salt on them because I'd never heard of seasal.

These days, you get an insurance policy assorts because if you buy your plants from Bunnett, I know it's going to kill them. You can take them back. Yeah, no, yep, kill it, take it back.

If you live in a.

Rental, would they would? They would definitely.

Are You'd be reflected. So technically, if I'm in a rental, right, I could get plants for six months, I'm moving out, kill them all, take them back at the money.

Okay, a refund, more replacement?

Ah, gotcha, gotcha? All right, let's go to Stacey in escidence. Stacy, what did you kill?

Didn't kill anything? But we had some pain on our floorboards and the painter told me elbow grease would get it off. So I went to Bunny and looked for elbow grease, and I rang my husband, who's a trade from Bunny, to ask him. Instead of telling me, he sent me to the paint counter while he was on the phone. Guys, elbow grease.

That's so good.

That's the best. Thirteen twenty four ten is our number. We want to know.

Have you done? Laura?

Someone suggested that I put sea sal on my plants, and I put sea salt on them and have nearly killed them all.

So they are well, I'm sailing.

I may have dehydrated them.

You might end up killing the possums, Scott, I love salt. Are you're baiting?

Think of that. I'm not baiting.

Are you're baiting the problem?

No, the possums have moved on because someone else.

They have done. For baiting, I'm I'm telling you into the county.

I found one the other day that had fallen into our courtyard and I put it in.

A were you about to say barbecue a box?

And I called the wildlife rescue people to return the possum. Does it have a black tail or a white tail? Then needed to decipher what type of possdim was, so I opened the box and it jumped a house like that, and then we had to try and get it back in the box again.

So you chased it again? Poor thing's been through or not?

Baby, It was in the.

House and we rescued it. We talked to the wildlife rescue.

You tell yourself, whatever helps you sleep and better.

Yeah, because I took it to the wildlife place, it attacked me.

Can we get a welfare check on the possum place?

The possum is fine, but I was worried because it was a baby, didn't have its mom.

It's mom won't even that's what happened with mom.

It had nothing to do with me. I think it fell out of the tree.

Of course, that's what I say.

I've rescued it.

Save it for judge duty.

I am an animal lovers. Each dog called a magpie the other day, though.

Runs in the family savage.

I also rescued that out of its mouth. Then I looked at the sausage dog and had a faceful feathers. Anyway, everyone lived and survived, possums and magpies included. Actually it was a pigeon, dirty pigeon, Lauren, I don't like birds.

All right, let's go to the phones. Jess Infantry Gully morning, Jess, are you Lauren?

Well, mum, So she's very sad as she makes a wise oil concentrate, so she both concentrates. Her bottle of was getting a little bit low, so she up again. Instead of topping it up with oil, she topped it up with.

Round up.

The weed killer.

Round up the weed killer.

That'll do it. Have you tried that for the possums?

Stop it? I am an animal's lover. I would never heard a possum.

You're a pigeon, not you specifically. It's more the weed killer or whatever on that.

No, no, no, no, I did know is it working. I only killed the plants by accident.

When they rest when they came to pick up the rescue.

Now I had to take it.

Ah, you spent your own fuel. Just shake off the salt before you walked in with it.

Well, we had to set the box up because it had already jumped out once the possum that we rescued, you see it. I put holes in it soa could breathe in the possum.

Every day at eight o'clock, we'll give you a chance to win five thousand dollars if you want to have a crack. Thirteen twenty four to ten is our number. The choice is yours.

Though.

You can take a very easy question for a cheeky fifty bucks. You can take a medium question for five hundred, or you can roll the dice and go today's hard question for five thousand dollars. All right, there's been.

Some additions to the question list, and they a good one. There's some great getible Jase.

I think it's gettible too.

I think the five thousand dollars one is gettable. Right to the firs.

All right, Jennifer in Rosebud, Good morning.

Good morning.

How's Rosebud this time of the morning.

It's looking pretty funny, excellent.

It's actually sparkling out there.

It's beautiful, beautiful, had a real revival to jen it's a.

Yeah, good mini pup put there is it? Yeah, Cracker? All right, let's get down to business. Do you want to go the fifty dollars easy question, medium question for five hundred or we roll the dice and go for.

Five k I'm going to go for the five hundred.

Fine, five hundred dollars, all.

Right, Jennifer. I'm going to read the question. You're going to get a little three to one countdown, but you have to answer within that time. Jace, do you want to play it so it doesn't throw her?

Okay? All right, So this is what this is the count. You'll hear the question and then you'll have this time to answer.

Three two one, okay, Okay, you have to answer over so it can be quick.

All right, Okay, I'm ready.

Here we go, Jennifer.

She's not looking around She's focused, isn't she?

What year was the iPhone invented?

What you what iPhone invented?

Three?

No, bloody idea, take your guess.

What would you guess, Jennifer.

Oh, no idea, think about it.

The iPhone nineteen eighty something.

Jesus, nineteen eighty the iPhone.

I would nineteen ninety. Don't even think Steve had the skippy on back then. Two thousand and seven, Yeah, two thousand and seven. Actually thought that was that was gettable?

Yeah me too.

Yeah, shocker there from Jim question.

No, I would have known that.

I'll tell you what. You won't go away empty handed. I want chuck your turn the box to fill up on fuel and coffee at Shell Carl's Express.

All right, awesome, thank you so much, No problem.

Jennifer, god I remember getting the first iPhone, downloading the apps.

It was so confusing. I didn't get it at all.

To be fair, you still find it confusing.

I liked the flip phone phone. Remember the ring tone, Hello Moto, Hello Moto. If you've seen the Herald Sun today, there is a story in there which might concern people who grew up in Melbourne because it is flushing back to yesteryear. Clint story running at the moment about Victoria potentially running out of gas. We're running out of a gas supply faster than forecast, warnings of short falls and extreme risks of outages over the next four years.

If you're building now, you can have a gas star.

Can you a new dwelling?

I hate an induction?

No time for induction.

Well you better get used to it, because that's what everyone's going to be using the gas.

The gas is strong, gas is great.

More control over the chicken, catch a tour.

Oh exactly. You don't want to be burning the struggle off.

Tried doing a risotto with the induction. Good luck.

Finish anyway, Well, you know what, you might need induction if we run out of gas. But it reminded me of back in nineteen ninety eight, Clint, you grew up in Melbourne, you would remember this like it was yesterday, and anyone who lived in this great city back then, there was a terrible incident at the Longford gas plant and we had there was an explosion and we had no gas in Melbourne. Was it for a week? Clint?

I reckon it was about two weeks. A fortnight. No, He's nothing.

If you had you couldn't call had a gas water system.

Nothing gone.

So we would fill up the butt. We would We had two kettles. I don't know why we had two kettles, or if we bought a second kettle for the occasion. Two kettles would fill them up. Mum would put all the big pots of water. We must have had electric cooking because we could. We could boil water on the stoves to kettles.

Like did cheap kettles turn into like the toilet paper toilet paper? Yeah, And we get hands.

On and you'd fill up the bath with as much boiling water as you could and then put some cold water in it just to make it palatable to get in. And then I'd have a quick bath and then I'd get out, and then my brother would get.

In same water.

Well, you'd have to shocking.

We no pea policy, or I think he might have braved the cold showers for a bit. And my dad's office had electric water and people would lie them up in there to just have and if you were going to the office us that you were like five second rints in and out for the next place.

Any cafes or anything running off gas stoves.

Nothing I couldn't operate. I think we punched holes in the bottom of the bucket and made a makeshift.

A lot of people were doing that sort.

Of microwaves weeks seriously, like some homes started to come on near gradually. But you're right, you're bunny hopping around to various friends and neighbors who had a yeah, heating and all the rest of it.

Twenty time thirteen, twenty fourteen. If you did go to extreme measures during that time, But Jace, you have three kids, how would you cope with five of you in the house if you didn't have hot water or cooking. There was no Ubertes by the way, You couldn't just get things to live.

It did.

When the water went out in our suburb, this was a couple of years back, and I had to bath. It would have been hardie. He would have been a baby at this point. I need to bathing. But we couldn't have there was no water. We had no water.

But the water just fully went out if.

Water fully went out, but we had a carton of sparkling water in the garage. Bathed him in sparkling water. It was it fun felt very boogie.

Did put did you heat it in the microphone? You only did you heat it in the microwave?

Heating it up in the microwave. Did a couple of bottles in the microwave and then some normal bottles, And it looked like I was making a giant punch.

So he's a baby. Imagine that for two weeks.

Below for out as well.

Did the microwave knock the bubbles out of it a little bit?

A little bit? Yeah, it's barkling water, very boogy.

It was such a wild time. I'll never forget. Like, at one point, I think my parents are like, why don't you to just jump in the bath together? I was like twelve, that was not an option.

Yeah, I used to. I used to bath. No, no, no, I used to be in the bathroom. Missistery be in the shower in the same room. How old were I would have been like five.

Of five, I'll tell the truth, were fifteen.

Fifteen.

I'm not buying. I couldn't even Sammoth thought of being anywhere near the side of the house if my brother was in the bathroot.

Sel some Bluefi thirteen to twenty four ten Suburban Survival, How'd you get through that? Thirteen twenty four to ten. We are talking suburban survival.

We are because there is a story in the paper today about toy running out of gas and Clinton and I were just having a little walk down memory lane to nineteen ninety eight when Victoria had that terrible gas crisis after an incident out of the gas plant. We had no gas for like two weeks, and parents were trying to make kids bath together, and I was like, I'm not getting in a bus.

Run all right.

Turban survival thirteen, twenty four ten, how have you survived in the suburbs.

Let's go to the phones. Let's get to d in McKinnon morning. D hope you will now, But take us back to when it was a bit of a crisis with the showering.

Yes, morning guys. So we u saw a campaign quite a bit and my dad for some reason got a shower host fitted to the bonnet of his car. Smart engine. Then you could connect a hose and heat the water. So he then set up camping tarts in our front yard, so all the neighbors were coming to have a hot showers from his car.

Basically did he start charging people for he could have had a decent side business there.

So do you have to have the engine running to the engine?

Engine?

That's what I said.

It's engine, engine, engine.

I'm saying engine. Did he have the engine running to heat up the what was every I'm packing their tongue and laughing.

Did he have to have the engine running to make the water hut?

Yeah?

Correct, Yeah, that isn't the same thing I said.

Engine. Let's go to Rosie in Cranbourne. It was a terrible time nineteen ninety eight we had the gas shortage.

What do you got for us, Rosie.

Yeah.

At the time I was an apprentice chef and we were such a busy venue, adding very good old.

On the corner.

Yeah.

Yeah, we were lucky enough but that our owner was able to secure us some large gas bottles, so we still operated on a very limited menu, but we had to set up barbecues outside in the back courtyard.

Oh yeah, it was.

We were so flat out with orders because you know, so many people over that side.

You couldn't cook, couldn't cook. It was so bad. You couldn't put most because most people had gast You couldn't cook anything.

You couldn't showers or nothing.

All walking around like these hungry festive people showers.

Blows my mind. That has never been invented? Talk right, does my absolute headed Wait?

Just think about it? Do you want to invent it? Because someone else might?

We're on shark tank right now.

What have you got for us?

You know, when you're cooking the barbecue, You've got everyone over and you're like, I'm going to run the Gautlet have I got enough gas? And you pick up the gas bottle. You haven't heard the pitch yet. You pick up the gas bottle and you're sort of like lifting it to go as it heavy? As it light? Well, I've seen surely there should be a gauge on there.

Surely do that. And I'm like, well, how do you not know?

How can you lighter? It's a lot lighter.

You literally just pick it up and weigh it yourself. Yes, well that's a ridiculous system.

Who would like to invest?

Someone else before you, much smart than you, has already thought of that.

I'm sure surely like it blows my mind. Every time someone's around, I'm like, will we cook the steaks in time? Let's run the go?

What's the plant? And then what you just have to run down to the service station.

To be give a new one.

Yep, because only bougie people have spare gash money high roller, absolute high roller.

And then to you exchange it?

Do? Yeah?

And what does it cost to get I've never done the barbecue game. No, but then you obviously exchange an empty one for full one, and what does it cost?

You know what you should do?

It's not free.

Start with a soda stream soda stream replacement and work your way up. That's disappointing. You're on over one hundred. Sorry, I just I thought we cracked a gold mine. I thought we're on here. Guys well are saying, surely someone's come up with some sort of device to measure how much gas.

Is any gas?

And I said, surely they have.

Yep, they do all over the Bunnings for twenty years. A hack you can fill a large bucket with warm water. Gently pour the water down on the side of the gas bottle, feel the temperature, carefully feel the gas bottle from the bottom up.

That's way too hard.

Sorry, man, I've already been to shell Carle's Express and swap my gas bottles in the time of your Kettle's ball. Hey, I want to get your thoughts on something that happened at our place the other day. See we sit on this one. We were going out for lunch. Lu and I and we got a babysitter around to watch our two year old Archie. Book the baby setter for eleven o'clock. I thought, get a head start on lunch. Now he goes down for a sleep. At between eleven and eleven thirty,

That's an easy gig for the babysitter.

Exactly, that's netflix nothing, nothing, just getting paid to sit there and watch. My wife asked her if she wouldn't mind building a flat pack cabinet.

Oh no, that's so far what I get domestic household duties like empty the maybe felt the laundry exactly.

Not Now big is the flat pack? Like?

It's only it was only a small little bookshelf. No, you could see the look of fear go over the baby.

See the babysitter say, hey, guys, is there anything I can do to help around the house? What can I do? Give me a you know? Or did Lou just go hi, thank god you're here.

No?

No, no, she did say she goes anything need doing? And Lou literally held up an Allen Caeme was like, well, if you have time and you're confident, would you mind building this flat pack?

Because, to be honest, I don't even have kids, but I would book a babysitter and say, oh, the baby's already asleep. Would you mind doing these flat packs for me?

There's no baby, no.

Baby, there's no nurse.

Did she do it?

He's fifteen dollars an hour.

I could see the look of panic, and I stepped in and I said, well, I knew what was going to happen. I would come home and there'd be bits everywhere, and then I would have to be done. And I'm not Don't get me wrong, I'm not great with flat pack at the best of times. But having to take over a flat pack that's half is an absolute.

Yeah no, because everyone's got the pieces in their.

Only exactly exactly.

Once you start a flat pack, you are responsible to finish it in a week. How long were you going out for?

Only two hours?

Well that's not enough time.

You need a whole day for that.

Well, in the past I've done air tasker. Lauren put me on the.

Air task always air tasker for flat there's flat pack experts on there and they love it when they get paid building lego.

I know, I know, but that's what I thought. I found this young kid who said he's a flat pack expert, and I bought from Aldie special by a desk and a filing cabinet, and he was there for eight and a half hours and his dad had to come around and help him. I end up cooking them dinner out of guilt. I paid them more than I paid for the furniture I got from Albi.

Did you read his reviews and everyone else that he's been great? It was just your house.

He was strong in the gardening area.

Well why did you get him as a flat pack expert?

He was cheap pick shout out heading along to the g tonight, Saints VI, the Pies come on in Collingwood.

Yeah, I think the Pies have this one.

We are due for a win.

At the start of the season can often be a bit rocky. Round three this is yours, Collingwood.

See, the stadiums have gotten into a bit of.

A war, you know, because everyone's been criticizing the MCG for the food prices going up again. I feel like we have the same conversation every year, and so Marvel have put their prices. They've been brought to a screeching hole.

Do you know who manages Marvel? Who the AFL? They own it? Oh, so it's really the a f L versus the MCC.

So what's so as a pie the same price at both stadiums?

Now or so a pie is cheaper at Marvel cheap pies.

Rat coffins.

Wow, the AFL owned Marvel Stadium entirely. Oh yep, I didn't realize they're investing in real estate. You know what do they earn any of the other stadiums?

Well on that the stadium menu. I know I've pitched this before, but I'd really love it's Look at the edible hot chip cup that we had in the nineties.

Yeah, they had them at Werriby Mansion when I was a kid. I remember we had hot chips in like it was like a waffle.

Cone, almost savory than sweet.

And my brother was eating hot chips and he got chased by a peacock, right and while he was trying to finish his container because he didn't want to give it to the peacock, and he was running around with the grounds of where if your mansion being chased by his peacock, and he just was not going to let the peacock have it.

I wouldn't either, but yeah. But my issue with it is when you add a condiment.

There's salt and sauce in there, but it's a savory wafer. It's not sweet, right, and it's not sweet. No, no, no, it's like a savory wafer because otherwise a minute you.

Say savory was savory.

Yeah, I feel like a bit of dead horse and it's no.

Honestly, someone will be doing them somewhere. It'll be on that Gordon Ramsey food show coming out innovation.

You know what.

Let's into it. I would like to roll that out at the j Place. Good luck to the prize tonight less.

Rubbish, I'm into it. I love a good wedding. Everyone loves a wedding. Everyone loves a love story.

I find I find it goes through patches in your life, you know what I mean. Like there's a big wedding marriage, but you get vide to a lot of weddings and there's a new create is a wedding.

But I do love a good wedding.

I love a good wedding. I love a good love story, but you know it's in vogue at the moment. Divorces. Divorces are huge. A lot of people get divorced. Forty eight percent of marriages here in Australia.

Forty serious.

I just read that somewhere. Let me just quickly. Divorces in Australia. It has remained around this percentage in recent years, shifting slightly high to forty eight percent. That was twenty twenty one COVID.

Oh, murders would have.

Been up to no, no, I could leave the house.

Divorce, so it's on trend.

Yeah, divorce is a huge, and ladies, listen up if your marriage is on the rocks. M Rata supermodel, you know she was in them.

Only just figured out that Emily Ratakowski.

Was. To me, it was always same person she she was in the Blurred Lines film clip. She remember that clip of her being pressed up against the cart passion Harry Styles recently, that's right against the van.

That was very sexy. Was that was that was bordering on too sexy.

Didn't know what she did? Shut it all?

Where is that dump?

A little moment of love with Harry Styles? Anyway, Not surprisingly she's getting.

A divorce, not from Harry.

They were never married. She was married to Sebastian Bear McLeod. She had this amazing engagement ring that went viral because it was like two It was like a pair diamond and a square diamond and they were pressed. They were sort of put together in this beautiful, unique style. Anyway, she is getting a divorce and she has posted a picture of her two brand new rings. One is the pair, one is the square, saying these rings represent my own personal evolution. I don't think a woman on the square,

What are you doing with them? Otherwise hand him back? You don't?

People some people I think depending on the time period the marriage, like if it's six months.

I think, depending on the situation, Yeah, he's run off with his secretary hand getting no diamonds back?

Though, Did you keep yours?

I did?

Yeah? You do? You good? I wouldn't be passed.

I deserved them. I got rid of on Quitchmard, but I kept them momentarily because throwing off the side of a boat.

Kept the diamonds.

Wast love it. So a lot of people are doing this, They're getting their jewelry repurposed into other pieces. How would you feel if you if you met a woman who was wearing a beautiful ring and he said what's that and they said, it's my old engagement ring.

I would have a problem if it was still in a ring forma exactly maybe a no stud you know, like I just that.

No stud, that's from yeah, I just I'm studying thereangler.

I just yeah, I would have an issue with it if it was in like still.

In ring form, right, you know what I mean?

Did you?

Because you know the other big thing? Did you ever throw a divorce party?

No, but a lot of people are doing that. It's like a reverse Hen's party.

Yeah. Well I think everyone that went to the wedding, yeah, they leave with the gifts.

Yeah ah strong.

No, I can't give my Provodien voucher back. I've already made the chicken catch a tory. It's too late. You're a free meal at my wedding.

Really enjoying that air brih.

The divorced parties are also a big thing. I'm telling you. Divorce InVogue forty eight percent, that's huge.

Hear that. That's good.

Number dropped since COVID.

That cos that's a Jane on our show produce. She's she's our residence celebrated.

How many weddings have you done now? I have done seventy and none of them have been divorced. You're quite in the game.

Give it a year, none of them. You've got one hundred percent strike.

Yes, my strike rate is one hundred percent. Is that something you advertise on your website or you.

Can't do I would one hundred percent strike rate. You're not a surgeon. Even then, they don't do that.

The couples ask you, like when they sit down and meet with you, do they go or all the other couple with you? Yeah, And I say it's like no win, no fee.

If you get a divorce, I'll refund you.

Really, that's good. You know what I'm applying for ref It's like Slater and Gordon.

Lauren feeling good one hundred Jason Lauren, Well, go on socials.

M h.