Full Show: Jase Was In A Throuple

Good morning Melbourne, Jason Lauren, start your morning the right away. This is Jason Lauren on No you're one hundred.

Well, good morning everybody. Work on your Wednesday morning morning team. How are we doing?

Good morning, Jase good Hello, Hello Clint, how are you very good?

Trait news Middle of the week.

Little Barney Rubble here rocking up with the quarry this morning with these little lunch box ready.

Yes, Jason took the piss out of me because I what do you call it? Like a little lunch box?

Oh, you can't be criticizing that, because that's the trades love that narrow in the castroom.

No, no, no, but he's not rocking up on the job site.

Well I am, I'm on the tools.

Yeah, I just I've never seen a grown man like that get out with his little.

This is a hard day's work for Quint.

He really is, isn't it your hands.

To You bought a lunch box and it's got a handle, does it?

Yeah?

It's a little cool bag.

Is it?

One of those trying to be thrifty?

It's one of those bento lunchbox, the Bento boxes that kids have these days, trying.

To be thrifty.

You know, just try and bring my breakfast in instead of buying bagels and.

Lock off that little Mercedes sports car that you call a midlife crisis. If you want to save a bit of coin, I've.

No idea what you're talking about, Jason, that.

Little hatchback down there on Royd's get rid of that if you want to.

Save Are you having a midlife crisis?

I've had a few already. About how many? How many can you have had a quarter where you just cornered a crisis at a quarter life crisis?

Yes?

Did I quarter life crisis.

At mid to late twenties?

I was twenty five, so was I.

That's when my wife and I broke up for a year, but pre married, pre kid.

Yeah, I broke up with my long term boyfriend, and then I had another one about five days later, another crisis, and now I'm back.

After a year. I realized I did an a option, so I got back together.

So when do you have your midlife crisis? You'd be now, yeah, have you passed?

No? No, I reckon, I've still got a good one.

In mid life's late forties.

Should we do a midlife crisis trip and you take people away?

Yeah, it's a good idea, like.

Together, No, I got my ship together.

It drinks.

I'm flying right now.

Can you drop off at the airport.

Nothing going to break my strop.

You can go for a party. It's a good idea, absolutely, yeah. Gold Coast, Gold Coast sounds good. Yeah cool if you Why not?

Oh no, you're too old to be going to the Gold Coast. You guys need to be going to like nurse to yoga rog the.

Way treats this morning.

Yeah, crisis need to be like clearing your mind and getting z in.

Mushroom Gate two point o.

Bloody ELL's happening with the mushrooms.

So that's a Kloons which is just outside of Ballarat, some sort of mushroom concoction drink which has proved to be deadly for one poor lady.

Such a nice little community up there, Yeah, I went to. I did like a school retreat up there for two months. They send you up to Klunes for two months at my school and you live there.

It was weird.

Yeah, right, well, it wasn't going to a wellness retreat. It meant to be educational. I adopted a lamb while I was there, called it Madonna.

That sounds like school fee is well spent?

Madonna?

Madonna? Did you try we weren't allowed to have?

Was it like pad to play?

Yeah, I don't know. Thanks for coming on the camp tonight. We're having Madonna everyone joy with a side of mash. And they told them what the week has been like.

They told me as a.

Pet, of course, should be wrapped up in a blanket of bread.

I don't think so. I think they lied to me.

Also, five teenagers arrested here in Melbourne, full on police chase. And then did I hear you saying the news the machetes in the cars?

Yes?

Man, what's going on?

We got involved through like Campwell, Richmond the city they caught him, got police random caught them.

Five teenagers. I'll tell you what if I got the phone call to say my teenager was in that car.

Jesus, what would you do?

Absolutely flip it. And you know what, I've said this before. We got to hit them where it hurts at that age. And to me, it's social media. Take their phones away, phones away, ban from social media platforms. Like we need those big companies to get involved and actually help out. Saying to a kid you grounded, saying to a kid. How you you know you're sitting at home, you know, grounded from school for months? Mate, That's that's heaven for me.

How do you go grounding your kids? You'd be a soft touch, wouldn't it?

No? No, No, I'm pretty hard for you.

Yeah, is lou the soft touch?

The hammer almost went through the iPad on holidays?

What you want smash it?

Yeah?

I just wouldn't they give you a turn?

It's like you were there, Lauren Daddy's turn on the said goodness, today's starting in games?

Nelly, you sent it to me last night Instagrams.

Mid song doesn't skip a beat fully, face plants on the stage and stands up and just keeps going.

It like a bed.

No, it wasn't unlike a bed.

It was she ate the stage absolutely.

I don't know any of her other songs, so I don't know what it was, isn't it wasn't that song? Only fy away? I don't know where the hole mass?

Do you know what the spotlight right now is on? Billie Eilish Because she was spotty, spotted having the time of her life quote unquote, she sparked thropple rumors, that's all right, rumors because she was laying it on Thick the PDA with two separate people in California over the weekend. One clip apparently caught the moment she grabbed Blackwell twenty three by the face and planted a quick smooch on her.

We're doing a thing.

Yeah, where do we sit on thruple?

It's not for me in a surprise to absolutely no one. I'm not interested in being in a thruptle.

What about it?

I want to fight for attention.

What about if Paul came to you right like flash forward your five years into the marriage and he was like hate, I'll just you know, would you be open to just on a weekend we introduced a third.

No, see you later, see you later. But I'm not judging other people who are into thrupples. I find them quite interesting.

Do they work?

What do you mean what happens is the guy with his yes?

Okay, no, No, I mean I'm meaning like they can be How how are you in a legitimate relationship.

Because see it's like I look.

And it's you could have three blocks, you could have three women, you could have one man.

We used to live with a good made of mine. We're still friends now. It was my wife him hit me out and we were together for we're all living together for like two years in Brisbane. But it worked great because I was doing breakfast show hours, so I would go to bed and he almost took over boyfriend Judy rolls. He would sit up, so he actually, no, no, no, he would say stop, No, they weren't. I'm pretty sure they weren't stopping.

Like he would sit up and watch all the like inadvertently in the throuple.

I'm sure they weren't stopping.

I'm pretty we might ring him. I'm pretty sure I wasn't.

The only thing wasn't being a thropple, being in trouble with Jake.

All I'm saying is like it was great because you got to share no no, no, no boyfriendish finish the boyfriend responsibilities. Yeah right, Like I was like, well, I'm off to bed, and he'd be like, sit up, watch sex. In the city.

It's called thank you friends roommates because I lived with my best friends who were a couple and me and we like, I got on you know them, gener and Dale. I got on just as well with both of them. And I did plenty of things with that. Okay, you know all about that. Okay, that's a third wheel, that's not a thropple.

But also think about the convenience of Paul's like trying to throw the leg over and you're like, not tonight, go with Debbie.

No, okay, you take a ticket at the Delhi.

Yes, Like take a ticket at the Deli? No.

Nah, But I think people would get jealous.

Yeah, I have to be rules.

It's getting more attention exactly like you.

In the corner liking, well, that's the other one person more than the other.

Also, I think they have to be rules. Go with me. This is massive hypothetical, but say you and I are married.

Imagine the three of us in and then like, you.

Know, and then we bring Clint in, and then I found out you're secretly seeing Clint without all of us being together. Like, that's when jealousy comes into pot.

No, but that would be you know that I'm seeing Clint and you and Clint are also seeing each other.

Yeah, yeah, But what I'm saying is when you're secretly going off seeing the third.

Person, just an affair. That's not a throuple.

So it's a throuple affair.

No, it's just an Oh you mean you know we're all in a thropple. But I'm going for sneaky dinners without your yes, we'd drop you like a hot potato.

You know what, you can tap your throuble.

I'm staying stingle stingle, single and ready to mingle.

You know what. It sounds fun, but it's a grueling process. We are currently looking to buy.

Oh yeah, it's.

Yeah, it sounds no, it is.

It's exciting, but it's it's hard work.

Yeah. And also, like you put in that you get to be the state dot com, you put in that little bracket of how much you want to spend, and then you're just like, there's just nothing. And then you go, just for good, I'm just going to push it just a little bit higher and see what's out there. And then you push a little bit higher and you're like, look at all these.

Ones I know. And then you go and see the houses and you're.

Like this looks nothing like nothing like, well they look better, but sometimes they look worse.

When I bought our house, I was like.

It was conveniently low, so I was like, I'll go look at it. But it looks terrible on the internet. And I was like, it's not for us, but it's around the corner. Let's just wander.

Yeah.

We got there and we're like, this is great. This is so much better than it left online.

Yes, I've had the other option where I'm rocking up and I'm like, yeah, this they obviously took the photos ten years ago and they built it all right. Anyway. I took Hoddy along with me, my eight year old, to check out one of the houses, because I've given him the task. I've given him the like, you know, we need three bedrooms or four bedrooms?

This is what do you need.

You've got three kids, we need four bedrooms.

Five bedrooms because you want a spare room.

No, because that's what I want to get at the moment. In our rental, we've got an extra bedroom and I'm like, we're paying for this bedroom to be there just for when people come and visit.

But that's what most people now.

I don't want it. Not interested, not interested. We can have a fold out couch. We are no vacancy.

I know you're trying to buy a house. So your mother in law isn't it I know exactly what measures.

No more, Wendy.

Drop a million just to get rid of there.

So I was looking at a one bedroom studio with bunk beds. Anyway, we rocked up at this open home and it was quite a wanky crowd. And I mean just like everyone was very well to do and looking nice.

And people make an effort, people like make a day of it. You get dressed up and you go house.

See I'd just come from like sport on the weekends with the kids, so like, you know, I'm just in boardies songs.

When they try to take all.

You in April and Melbourne, you're wearing thongs.

It was Saturday morning, it was nice weather.

Oh no, that's a sneaker in a sock situation.

Also, I want that. I want the real estate agent thinking I can't afford the joint, so that way they don't ring me.

They judge you though.

I turned up when we were looking and we're we'd gone for a walk and we walked in one and they just looked at us like they're.

Not buying this place.

I know.

Yeah, I'm the same they judge you.

I was like, do you want my phone number? He's like, no, you're right, just go through.

That's what they did to us too.

Oh so they didn't take your number. No. He obviously thought there was absolutely no way.

They should have taken your number in case Hudson stole something, because that's joke's on them.

Probable joke's on them. You should see the new three seat a counter. We've got a home.

It's beautiful.

So anyway, I'm touring around and you know when it's awkward where you want to go into one of the rooms, but there's another couple who are just on the same time inspection as you, like, I mean like you know, like you happen to arrive when this other couple arrives, So you're checking out the same rooms in the same way.

We can't expect to have a room to yourself.

Oh I'd like a room to myself.

No, there's heaps of people going through that.

I've just started this movie. So I bought a house last year and people are measuring up the room that they are going to live in in front of you. You're like, no, this is my room. Yes, this is my house.

Well, anyway, there was one point where everyone was out of my kitchen, yes, and I'm like, I'm standing at the bench and you know when you're trying to imagine yourself in the house. And I look and around to the left had one of those little walk in pantries.

Oh, Butler's pantry. Don't pretend you don't know what it is. We all know you've got one.

No, no, no, we don't have like a sink or anything in there. This one had like a sink, little dish washing. And then because people were still living in the house.

Oh no, see that if it was my house and there were hundreds of people coming through looking at my groceries, well.

I just don't learning cupboards and stuff because I need to see exactly. But then I noticed, but then I noticed that had a Thermo mix.

Oh there, posh.

Yeah, and I really want a Thermo mix, yeah, Lou, And I like, we don't lose that, we don't need one. And no one was around, and I was looking at it, and I thought, I just I just gonna have a quick little hearn of the Thermo mix.

You can't be using people's appliances, Well, you can't be turning the heavy on and off. You can open cupboards, and that you can't go into his wardrobe, and I wonder if there's jacket would look good on me? Quickly slipped this one on.

Well. I hit the button on the Thermo mix, just the one button on the top. It did and it activated and then started blending straight away in it. Nothing was in it, just the steel bull was on top. So I'm trying to turn this thing off, and I can hear other people coming into the kitchen to look around the open home and the plug they had like a hole in the beach. I was trying to pull it out and get to it. No, the cable went

No?

We bought the house to avoid any awkwardness. I was like, we'll take it.

Did you like the house?

I didn't mind it.

Have you found anything you love?

Absolutely?

I reckon.

You know when you know you walk into a house and you're like, I love this, and doesn't mean you're going to get it because there's a thousand of people that want you have to fight them in an auction. But you know, if you think a house is just okay, it's like it's probably for me.

Do you reckon that throwing the therm mix?

You know what if you did something like that, mate, it's yours.

You can ask it's a Thermo mix. Send you back these days five.

Thousand dollars. One of our team members, the Knak, is currently engaged. She's getting married at the end of the year, and we're just talking about gift registries and presents and.

Wishing wells and the way to do it and what the going rate is for a wishing well, and.

Loss has been to warn back you've been through one, and was giving her advice on what to ask for presents.

Inflation often when there's a wishing well, I still buy gift. So I like putting thought into it and buying a gift.

So I went to a Lebanese wedding. We've got really good friends of ours who have a Lebanese background, and it was just envelopes of cash.

Yeah, they do that well done then, and some cultures that you don't live together before you get married, and so then you need this stuff for the how like you need the toasters and you need.

The how's this executive producer Brady, What did you guys get at your wedding?

Anak and my wife her family is all Indians. They just give you gold, just bits of gold, gold bullion, what like gold bars?

Just yeah, like flakes of gold or little chips of gold or nuggets of gold.

And what do you do sit there on your wedding night with your scales? Wayne, We got to go.

Down to Westfield, that little chaosk you know where you traded in.

We still got it. We just don't know what to do with it.

Well, no, you can bank it. Gold's gold's worth a lot and gold's going up.

Hold on, sitting in my dresser.

I think gold's going up, isn't it.

I tell people, what are you doing it?

In the bank? Safe?

Go down a little kaos, get them to weigh it and get the money.

Little gold counters on the high street. You can go down with your loot.

You know when they do those, you can you can win a house and a one hundred.

Of you actually physically get the gold bar.

I hope, so I think, well you do at the wedding.

Did you know that? When we asked Brodie he goes, yeah, Anika, my my, what.

What is she again?

But I wouldn't even know where you buy?

I got where you get gold no idea, no idea.

Gold Mark Sovereign Hill.

Michael Hills got home from work yesterday and I had a surprise so much a person.

That quite like it makes me excited sometimes.

No, I like notice and I can have the kids melting down and crap everywhere in the house.

Now, yeah, you wouldn't be a spontaneous spontaneous kind of get absolutely not, come on over.

I want to the couch.

At least a half in our heads up and the option to say no.

Five minutes will do me.

Unfortunately, I can't kick this thing out of my house because it's here to stay. It's not a surprise, person, it's a surprise item. Now on this show, in previous years, we've spoken about something that really gets your goat Jase and your goat Lauren Bins.

The amount of colored pins Jace.

This arrived yesterday. It's a new bin.

Another one. What does the note say on it? You got a green bin?

This is now a green bin.

Now, I believe there's a difference between the lime green bin and.

The dark green. It depends where you live. So this is in the city of Yarraw So this is the green bin where we're meant to put all of our garden stuff and our food wastage and this sort of thing.

Well done to you if you can afford a garden in the city of Arrow.

My issue isn't so much the green bin itself, That's fine. My issue is now.

How many.

No, I look like I've got a one up of the wiggles on my front lawn. I've gotten a yellow, a red, a purple, and a green.

No, that's not okay.

What's the yellow saying? No glass? That's a recycling bin.

So you're right, classic, So that's that's recycling paper, cardboard, soft plastics. The red is the trash all purpose spin where everything goes.

And also, can I say the red bins need to be like the size of a skippin And they're so small, so small.

I'm not I'm not throwing out a Christmas tree every week, make that mini, I'm not even picking up the leaves they blow down the street and they pick it up.

What is it twice a year? Now it's something stupid.

The purple is for glass only. No lids though, don't put a lid on it, just glass. You've got to take your lid off and put it in the recycling.

You'd feel that up regularly. That should be.

Bigger when you're wheeling that out to the curb when.

You dunk them in.

The new addition, the green bin question question.

How often does each one get picked?

Okay, so this is another good question, Jays. The red and the green go out every week rubbish and the green got.

I have to wait every two weeks.

For my rubbish is unacceptable.

Tell me about you've got a.

Baby, the baby's nappy sitting there for two two.

Weeks and then the yellow and the purple go out every fortnight. But they alternate.

Oh no, you know, I put all our by counsel. I've only got two bins and I put them all out on Monday nights, both.

To two bins, a recycling and a normal trash.

I think so got two in my front lawn.

I don't know where the others have gone, and they get emptied every week.

I bought them out every week.

Do you bring them in every week sometimes? Are they empty most of the time? Yeah?

I don't have purple. I definitely don't have purple, but.

That's four bins. Fit them in my front yard.

You know what, you shouldn't have to pay counsel rates on the amount of square meter each they take, because that's counsel stuff.

The rates we're paying, Like, doesn't someone sort this stuff?

I know, Jays, why do we have.

To do it?

Look, it is good for the environment to recycle.

I'm asking this morning. Is your counsel cooked?

Good?

Coll Have you got a cooked counsel? Have they done something that just blows your mind and you go, you're cooked?

Base side counsel?

What have they done, Jason?

They haven't done anything. That's the issue, Queen, not a bloody thing.

Someone in my counsel did something horrific. And I'll tell you what it is good.

It's bad.

It's gonna make.

Your blood really boil like boil.

Thirteen twenty four ten. Is your counsel cooked?

Mine's cooked?

Do you know what the actually? You know what?

The don't even know what council I mean, I don't know what it's called.

The base side counsel with their little pay machines to go down to the beach.

Right, what do you mean you have to pay to go to the beach, like you have to.

Pay the park of the beach. Oh yeah, right right, but in the parking starts at like nine dollars and you have to hit that minus.

Time you hit the.

Minus and it takes twenty minutes to go down twenty it's reset and then yep, so you just pay it. I'll pay forty to park for ten minutes.

You're cooked.

Base side. Clint here from the newsroom as well, and we are on the lookout for cooked counsels.

Clint has just received his fourth garbage bin and they go out on rotation of some bizarre carousel.

Of bin directed I'm gonna is there another one to add to the set? Or is that the lot? So I've got a green, a light green of purple, a red and a yellow.

Remember someone rang once and said there's a Yeah. I drove into the street after school pickup and I'm like, what's that on my bed? And it was a giant sticker lit the bin sticker of shame?

Did they still collect it?

Also gave it to our the guy who delivers our parcels.

It's not an Australia Post guy.

It's like a I don't know what they call yeah, it's a proper bowls delivery that ain't on.

You know, you should go down to Super Cheap and buy one of those wheel clamps and wheel c park inspectors can't.

But you know what, they park where they were, wherever they were. They're silly little cars.

And the reason you can't park in certain spots for safety. Right, turn a corner and you can't see. You can't park there in your little die hat suit.

Just before the cause producer n arc is fuming out there right produce an arc. What happened to you? Why is your council cooked?

I'm livid. They come along with the street sweeper at least once or twice a week, and they like this. Oh the stupid little dust and leaves and stuff off the street onto all of our cars that are parked on the street, making them dirty and dusty.

I'm sure those machines do nothing.

Oh no, I live in a tree laden street, tree laden word, tree line street, and.

They those trees molt like regularly.

It's autumn.

Yeah, and on you is coming. It's like paper mache on the streets. They need to come on our street or there's no road left. You're going off roading four.

Why is your council cooked? Jared and Doreen? Oh then, Jared, what's going on?

I am a garbo for two different cancils. The cancel that I live in is the city of Whittlese. They have all bin yes, they have the rubbish, recycles, grain waste and the glass bottles. And the glass bottles get picked up once a month.

Clint, you'd be in trouble.

The rubbish gets picked up every week. Yes, that's good, and they anate fortnightly between the recycles and the greenwaye.

How do you keep up with that schedule?

Is there a chart?

It is crazy and confused.

The other thing with.

The rubbish bins, are they slowly alternating between their dark the old dark grain lid, yeah, and the new red lids?

Oh?

So annoyed.

I wonder as a garbage man because if it's not recycled, ay, sometimes I just put both the bitts out hope for the best. If they're full, do they just go, let's help this Larry, she's obviously filled up a recycled I think let's not make her do the walk of shame carrying the recycle bin back in when it's still full.

There was a video doing the round so the other day, and it was inside a garbage truck and they were showing how they used a little joy stick to operate the thing. And then the only thing I noticed is that there's a camera in the back of the garbage truck, so they're seeing everything comes and I'm.

Like, they're sorry, they're perving on your rubbish.

Well, yeah, they'd be keeping the aligner to make sure it's.

Like otherwise they're going to put the sticker in. Shame on sticker, shame.

Imagine this stuff you'd seen people's.

Oh yeah, all right, let's go to the phones. Glenn is in Clyde. Morning, Glenn, Glennie, Glenny boy, morning. What's wrong with your counsel? They cooked?

Oh yeah, I mean Casey counsel cooked for a bit of a different reason.

Yeah, a little bit ago.

They are all got done for corruption, so they're in administration.

Oh so there's no counsel, not pretty much careful, no changes.

It's good. Put your bins out any night.

Whenever you want.

Just connect on the bins. Is like people are still operating. They're just operating with them.

They're still operating, but no real changes.

Yeah, but Heaven, Heaven help. If you needed a new bin, you'd never get one. You'd have to steal it from someone else.

Amanda Carriage that right.

Hello on thirteen twenty four ten. How's your counsel cooked?

Oh look, I don't even have an answer for this, but I would you need to dump any rubbish? Yeah, just coming out to weir views or dump views as I like to call it, and just bring your trailer, lad pats a truck dump it?

Where about the matter out we views it's called could.

Just dump anything anywhere anytime? Well, yeah, yep, and no one ever cleans it up.

No, correct, See.

We've got we've got some construction going on next door with skip No, there's there's no skin. Well they've they've demoed the house, right, so they are at to build a new house, but obviously the bins are still there and put them out. Well that's what I was going to do, but it's behind a fence, like when those little demountable fences, and I was going to open it, but they've got you know how like all the job sites now have cameras on there.

You can't be done.

Frowned upon to walk onto a job site around. You're only borrowing it.

That's what I said.

If it was my house and I was renovating, I would be like, feel free to check your stuff in.

A community bin exactly going to cost you anything?

Yeah, trading made of mind.

Just leave them out the front.

It goes those cameras and motion activated, so as soon as that you cross the bud.

Oh you know what.

That's such garbage though, because we had cameras in ours, and then I found out the cameras weren't even know they just looked like cameras to make people not.

Because I was like, oh, can I check in on what the builders are doing now?

Flush forward tomorrow. Hey guys, it's me calling from the watchhouse. The cameras were real. Can you come and get me.

If you went to jail for using someone's.

Bin, what are you in for recycling?

Amanda? Good morning, Good morning. Is your counsel cooked?

Yeah?

Yeah, we just we just we.

Just oh god, I'm cooked this morning.

Do you want to run through the story again, Amna?

Amanda is where you can dump anything anyway? Why Mandy is still.

With even Amanda was like, why are you talking to me? I like full situation. The other day we took the kids to all Nut Park in Bentley.

All Nut Park.

I love a good park. It's a big it's a big thing in all Nut parked on DJ. No, you're thinking of Thomas Street Park in Campden. What do you mean? D like there's full DJ deck. So what you do is you load like a song up on your phone. You put your phone on this.

Little paths an oorks cable, ox cable whatever.

Don't be saying no OX at the park or.

Ox cable, don't want bring the arps cave, no no no.

You just sit it on top and then it plays the music through these speakers and you.

Can It's not for adults, it's for kids.

Jason is often down there doing Jace Hawks Mega Mix on Saturday morning.

I don't like kids on anyway. We're just talking before those little Bento lunchboxes which aren't cheap, which all the kids have now at school.

Lunchboxes are fancy.

I got down some kind of algorithm of seeing people pack kids lunches.

Like there's little tiny little tubes where people put.

Their hormus, yes, and then they shop off the carrots and then they put the little strawberries in here and I'm like, wow, not my day. If I was lucky, my dad would wrap the tomato separately from my cheese and tomato sandwich, so the sandwich was and something.

And they'd chuck like an ice block in there, which would water down during the day and just make everything wet. Well, we just bought these near little Bento boxes and they're not cheap anyway. Lou left one at the park and was having a knips later that night. Was like, surely someone would have left in there, and I'm like, there's no way someone hasn't pinched that lunch box.

And I don't think we're pinned. They've got kids names written all over them.

Yeah, you just scribble that out, put a sticker over the top. We went back twelve hours later, was still sitting there on the park bench. The food looked a little bit disheveled. Been in the sun all day. It was in Bentley. It was nice, but the food was looking a little bit disheveled, and that got us talking about. This is a very special edition of Make Lauren Gag.

Picture number one, Oh that's that's gray.

That kid didn't needy sandwich when bread's going gray and yellow.

Oh yeah, it's a hard no from me.

But that bent to box unsalvagable that goes in in the whole. You're not mean on the dishwasher.

That's that's no good.

That one looks like a brain, that brain egg, it's.

It's egg, but it's three different types of mold that's growing on it.

Oh no, no, that that look that looks like one of those scientific things you get in the science lab and you have to chop up.

Nah, you'd use.

A web wipe and give it a little wipe down.

When you know that goes in the bin. That tup of egg is incinerator again.

Sorry, it's the tuple were queen. You can vouch plastics aren't cheap.

They're not cheap.

Sorry, that's disgusting.

And one more for the road, A lunch box that was in the bin.

So it's a it's a banana that's turned so it's gone black.

And dare I say the whole thing would have been black at some point, but it's been in there so long that the colors actually come back into it.

Yes, And it's a little yellow and a little plue.

There's a hint of banana seeping out the bottom of it.

And it's one of those little cooler bags as well, so the mold is now stretched to.

That's a bin job. Surely.

If you wouldn't, if you're telling me right now, you wouldn't throw that in the bin, then you're ted us makes a.

Banana bread out of it.

You can always make. We would find the oh Crushes bananas in the back of the fridge, and you're right. My mum would go, well, that's a banana bread job. We are about to hit the road.

And do this, Jason Lawrence.

All right, we have thirty thousands starting on Monday. We are going to hit the streets of Melbourne. We will let you know exactly where we're going to be. Will be out for about an hour or so each day, and all you have to do is come and say, hey, shake your hand and if you are, every one hundredth person will get a cheeky hundred dollars.

Yep, every one thousandth person will get one thousand dollars.

And then eventually when we hit our ten thousandth listener, they will get handed ten thousand dollars cash.

Okay, so you did.

The mass you're popping in to say hey and then walking away with ten K.

How many winners in total we're doing the mats yesterday.

Well, there'll be one ten thousand dollars winner. Yep, there will be ten one.

Thousand winners, and there will be one hundred one wow, one hundred dollars winners that's.

Their handshake winners.

In total, thirty thousand dollars we're giving away and we're just going to keep going till we give away the ten k.

Absolutely. So what you need to do is listen to Nova, keep an eye on our socials. We'll let you know exactly where we're going to be.

We'll mix it up, we'll mix up the times, we'll try and it around everywhere so we can meet everyone, give everyone a fair shot, and we're also going to have an opportunity for you to call and say hey, at you.

Hey, So yeah, if you can't get to us, we'll give an opportunity each morning to ring up and your hay will be comeing.

Just go and say hey, there's a hundred bucks.

And they can't play favorites. They can't just say hey to jays, can they.

No? No, no, it's got a yeah, even if you've got to fake it.

And we'll put it in some kind of orderly fashion. You can't just do a drive by and scream at us.

Yeah yeah, no no, no, like join the law.

Hey, get out of my way. Yeah, it doesn't count.

No, not at all. We should hit up a footy game. Oh that's good, idea out the front of the ging like that would be cool.

Richmond train station.

People can be busy that time of day, can it well.

People are getting off the train on the way to the foot Yeah, not bad.

So we begin on Monday. Make sure you are listening for all the details on where you can catch up with us, or you have to do is say hey to win ten K I love.

This, so we're going to make ten thousand listeners over the next few days.

Don't leave us, because I know you. She likes it. No, no, Lauren.

Likes it got a chat?

Why are you saying we won't give away the ten k before six months?

I don't want to be out there going all right, well we went through three people today. You just like a chat?

Well sorry, I actually like communicating with our listeners and having a conversation as opposed to you.

What are you going to do? Just go hey, hey, hey, hey hey.

Like they're production, but who made you the rule maker? I'm just you don't run this show.

I'm just saying, if there is one skill I have, and I have very.

Little, economical, You're economical, Thank you Clinton.

Like you know when we go to those swinky little functions and stuff, and like you look and los might be stuck with the same person all night, Yes you know what I mean.

It's generally you that I'm stuck. Can't shake this guy. I've been trying all night.

You're just following me around like a bad smell with your lack of social skills, knowing how to say hey, I'll.

Teach you how to get away from me. Monday it kicks off say hey for ten k. Make sure you keep listening to NOV to find out where you can catch us. We're about to play a song and come back and chat with our next guest. But I've never seen someone into the studio with such pace, such such.

Like Yeah, speed and.

Just watched it it Tom gleaks.

In good Mond Mining. I'm here to get to get things done.

Yeah, walked straight in and you were looking at your smart watch. I thought you were counting your steps.

Ye, he's timed himself.

I'm just putting himself on airline mode because I'm giving you my full focus. I'm receiving no calls at the moment. Once we're going to be connected.

Our next guest brought back some credibility to the Logies after winning gold in twenty nineteen.

It turns out I'm just really good at manipulating the media to get people to do things for me.

So maybe this award.

It's fair to say he's hard quiz. You can also catch him in person right now performing his new show Year at the Melbourne International Cody Festival. Please welcome Tom.

Hey, Tommy Gleason is hanging out with us this morning.

Yeah to see mate, good bye, Thanks for having me.

Actually, last time Tom and I ran into each other, I think it was at a Crazy movie premier Yere Central yeah.

I was trying to remember us patrolls one of the old movie.

Federal Kids running everywhere on.

I know, well, there there are lots of people there turning up to see the film for free. Yes, chief asses like you and me getting our kids there, getting them some free stuffs, the milannias and weird stuff, and yeah, yeah. I saw Mark Philipoosa say oh yeah, reconnecting with his phone. He didn't seem to be interested in his kids. That is what I noticed.

When you came in here.

You put your watch straight on aeroplane mode to be focus. Are you an aeroplane mode going on a plane.

Oh yeah, aeroplane mode on the plane. That's what it's for anyone doing. Oh really we are doing is not? No one doesn't anymore.

We were saying the other day, like trying to send a cheek it. Yeah, trying to send a cheeky text just on take off and you're like, come on quick as the plane's climbing.

So otherwise you have to wait till you get to Gisbon exactly towers the.

Pleasure of that little moment in time where you get reception again.

It was just so embarrassing for me because I'm flat, I'm platinum, and I and so I get free Wi Fi. So I thought that it was just me pinging off the text from the front of the plane down the back, then communicating with Gisbone.

Tell me that I live two minutes when you get it the whole time.

How's the flex from this guy? I'm platinum.

Must it's not a flex if it's a fact.

Right, yeah, you'd you'd be flying a lot. I imagine.

Yes, I've just collected all the points. It's not you know, it wasn't allocated to me, right, yeah, it was just Yeah, it's just who I am?

You quants or virgin guy?

Well, virgin virgin virgin because I enjoy service. I like being on a plane, and when you ask for something, it doesn't seem like a chored to the person that you asked from, you know, because you know you're saying, you know, can I could I please get a glass water?

Okay?

That's honest, that's true.

Beg for a couple o virgin?

Yes, really sad when they give you a little cup and you're like, can't just give me one of those Minich bottles that I can do? Are?

They're like, sure, all right?

How do you go when you sit down on the plane, like someone sits next to you. Do you ever have like a fan recognize you and they want to chat about like the TV show stand Up or anything.

I have noise canceling headphones and I will put them on mid sentence they're like, hello, I'm a big fan of Heart. I don't even hear quiz. Headphones are one and I watch a special on myself.

You don't like the smart so I'm playing the people.

That's what I like.

Hard Quiz really brings out the characters. There's some strange old people that appear on that show.

Oh mate, it's just unbelievable you get on that. Like there was a There was a woman on who we had on recently and her expert subject was Doja Cat. At the time, I had not heard of Doja Cat. It was a while ago, but yeah I have now And I said to her are you on Heart? Like this was as a joke, are you because she was she was kind of posing for the camera a little bit like it was Instagram. I had to explain for it that this was like footage, it wasn't like photos.

Expert on doj What did you learn about Doja Cat?

I learned that Doja Cat is a bit of a nutbag but very popular.

Didn't you turn up to the one of the big awards shows fully as a cat?

Someone interviewed her, and.

I know, and I was. I mean, I would have liked it if the contestant on Hardwire did the same thing as a tribute and I had no idea what she was doing. Wouldn't that be good? Welcome to the show now.

I just like some of the subjects that they're experts in.

It really is what's the weirdest ones?

Oh?

There's so many. I mean one day I walked into the you know, we're back in the studio and I'm like, what have we got coming up today?

Cremation?

Yeah, okay, what's their job? They work at White Lady Funerals? All right, well they're really into it.

Wow did they wear the hat the White Lady.

The White Ladies.

I don't know if you caught it, but your show got an appearance on goggle Box.

Yes, I propped that show up.

Came up goggle Box the other day. Take a listen.

Wednesday on the ABC, we played along with Hard Quiz.

Here's your host, Tommy.

I'm impressed with Hard Quiz after all these years.

What Yeah, I'm impressed.

You know what I'm impressed by that is still on TV.

You know what's funny is I feel the exact same way. And also I'm not really offended because to me, goggle Box is like a sandwich. Yeah right, and without Hard Quiz, there's no goggle Box. Goggle Boxes bread. Hard Quiz is the meat chew on to have a show. And the other thing is I'd be offended, but Hardy's rates more than goggle Boxes, so you know they want to They feature Hard Quiz to drag in some more viewers and they're desperate. I get it, but that's okay. They watch TV.

Goggle Box is Jase's favorite.

That's all right.

Well, the only reason because I just never get time to watch the TV, so it's my way of just recatching TV for the week. Hey, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, it is back with force. However, it wraps up this Sunday. Yep, you can still get tickets to go and see Tom's show tonight. Tell us about the.

Show, Oh, come along, because it's one of the themes featured in my show is revenge. Oh yeah, there's some stories. There's some very very long cons that I've done that we're a seat revenge also on audience members, because there are people who heckled me at the top of the show, like I've never done comedy before. I mean, are you are fool? I'm going to string you through the whole thing.

Yeah, So you would not be the comedian, No, never.

I couldn't.

You have to have serious balls to heckle a comedian, Like why would.

You do it?

Who was the comedian that we had in there?

So they keep the bar open, Joey, that's right.

Yeah, Joe keeps the bar open so people can go up.

And he also says it's so that if people walk out of his show, no one thinks people are walking out.

That works pretty well.

You know.

I don't think I would love to have is maybe Lee from goggle Box could come to the show, because she seems really confident heckling the TV. I'd love to see you he in real life. I reckon you wouldn't be as brave.

I would.

I would on my own pants before I'd have to get up and go to the bathroom. Oh yeah, performance.

For your front right, come along?

So I have you got shows every night until Sunday?

Yeah, every night till Sunday.

Pull me by tickets for tonight?

Get something tonight?

What time?

You will never sell out on a Wednesday nine o'clock tonight?

Well you might tonight now.

Well tickets at comedy dot com dot Au. You can hit up ticket tech. He needs the money to stay platinum. Don't support this young guy who's doing it tough. Thirteen twenty four ten. You've got anyone famous on your street?

Famous neighbor?

Yeah, famous neighbor And we're like, we'll.

Go d grade and it can be a long stret.

Hang on, Executive produce of The Thumb.

My aunt lives in the same stree as Eric Banner.

Oh that's a good one. He's he's one of Australia's biggest he's.

See that's solid. You'd find reasons to go over there.

Yeah, you that's so annoying. You could do that.

Hey, Eric, we're in a friend's face.

Drive past slowly or to go watch your saints go.

Oh can you imagine Jake's having that conversation.

I was on a boy's trip and were staying in a mate's place in la and he got his neighbor's mail by mistake and it was Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr. And I was like, well, that's a reason to go on not going be like, hey, he's got your mail.

Just not be a pestle and put it in their letter box.

Yeah, but what's the fun in that?

Wow?

Their housekeeper answered, I was so despise. I'm sorry, I can't give you their mail I really need.

Yeah, I'm serving it to them.

I need to see them or that's a flex having Orlando Bloom and Miranda care in the straight.

Yeah, they wouldn't be living in that house anymore.

They would not.

She's upgraded to a mega man.

Here in Melbourne, they'd be people living in like in parts of Richmond, and a lot of footballers.

We'll get here we go, here we go, We'll get heaps of footy players their name. Twenty four to ten Jamie has called three morning Jamie, Hey, how are you? We're good? Who lives on your street?

We actually used to live next door to Pea Miranda looking for.

She has not aged. She looks exactly like she does in that movie.

She does a lot of voiceover work, doesn't.

She Yeah, yeah, she came into the old radio station we worked out.

She still looks like Ala Brandy exactly name Ali Brandon. No, she wasn't. She was looking for Lea Brandon looking.

People were looking for her.

She was her character's name.

Someone was looking for someone, and she's still looking so sorry. Was she your neighbor?

Yeah?

She was, and you don't what. She's actually the most loveliest she seems.

I interrupt this conversation to bring you some information. Alabrandy Peam Miranda played Josephine Ala Brandy.

Oh, looking for her back in your box?

Remember are you kidding me?

How old do you think she is? Don't look at the screen?

Okay, I reckon. She's probably mid forties fifty?

No, what where fifty? Looking for Ala Brandy came out in the year two thousand.

I was in the eight Thanks Wikipedia. Let's go to Lynn Lynn.

Oh, good morning, guys. This is an old one, right, But growing up we had Ronald Biggs, the great train rother that lived in our street.

He robbed train, a train, a great train.

Well did he steal things from the train or he's stolen.

No, I'm talking, I'm talking a lot of money.

Yeah, there was cash on the train.

Oh it was like a basic google it. You need to google it.

Did you were you worried he was going to break into your house and still your gold bullion?

No?

Look, we thought it was so cool. I was just a little kid. So often after he robbed the train, we had the police in our street all the time, like looking at the house. His wife was still there. He was on the run.

And then like, would you notice changes to the houses like the house? Sorry? Like after as a train robber robber, look at the swimming pool right, Look.

It wasn't that sort of area. We definitely would have noticed. But my claim to fame is before he dropt the train, he actually taught me how to play cards.

O count cards?

You were just stolen all your money?

Yeah, we're playing you know. No, I'm going to teach you how to count cards. Okay, what a great neighbor.

Oh that's cool.

Train robbery. Okay, there you go. Was that when things were black and white?

Yeah, Ronnie Biggs, that was way way way back.

There's not much happening in people streets, is it?

One question? Five thousand dollars.

This is.

Jeez and Lawrence, five thousand dollar question. Wow, good morning Melbourne. Here we go, nine past eight. One question, five thousand dollars. If you can know, let's go to the phones and meet today's contestine.

Good morning, Simone from Greensboro.

You are the chosen one for the five thousand dollars question this morning.

Hello, good morning everyone.

How are you you sound? Alert and smart?

Yeah? Well alert, maybe not smart.

What do you do with yourself? Simon?

I've got a bit of a cheeky business, and you've given me a plug before kitchen language and Quint got one of my teatowls.

Clint, of course you did see?

Is that your favorite tea?

Clean? Of course?

These are the words written on them.

They sure, yeah, okay.

Good Mother's Day gift with mother's deak com Well, we've.

Got a really nice, really nice apron from them eating about the chicken bake.

Oh there you go, Simone.

Okay, all right, Lawrence Simon, let's see, I don't let's see if we can win you some cash this morning. So I've got three questions in front of me. One is worth five thousand dollars.

It's quite tricky.

The medium one is worth five hundred dollars. And the easy question for fifty bucks, what is your flavor this morning?

I've got to go to five grand right, five thousand dollars.

Oh guts, no glory, no kmucking around. Now. Our rules are simple. Lauren's going to ask the question. You will have three seconds to answer.

Cool.

I strongly advise if you don't know straightaway.

Just guess yeah, something out there?

Are you ready? It is getting You knew this straight away in your lost did you yeah? And that's saying something.

He's saying some all right, Simon? In scrabble? How many points is the letter Z worth?

There is worth ten to one?

They be or C three? I said Z or you said Z and you said ten and you have Oh my god, that.

Is so Awesomeay, what are you going to do with five thousand dollars on this beautiful Wednesday?

I can breathe a bit easier, I can much takes a bit of pressure off. It does take pressure off. That's really really cool. So and I'm going on at first family holiday in a while out a little bit in that and yeah it'll be great. Thank you so much.

And let's be honest, running a small business would not be easy. So five thousand dollars coming your way to mind.

Congratulations, Thank you so much that these amazing guys.

Thank you very very good.

It's Wednesday.

When you got five grand in your back pocket, I thought it was only old people. And Lauren it knew what scrapple letters?

Well what I had no idea with.

My grandma, did you that's so cute?

So yeah, yeah, no, so I think during COVID scrabble became a big bit again.

We played all the time.

Yeahnn deserves a cut.

Oh oh well, yeah, she was looking down.

She was looking down on you.

Smoan doesn't have to share our money. Hey, Simoonan, that is awesome. What a way to kick off your Wednesday. Congratulations, thanks for playing.

Long so much.

Thank you, no worries. Congrats. There you go, five thousand dollars and we play again tomorrow morning at eight o'clock.

That easy, five winnable.

Yes, it is the five thousand dollars question. Every single day up for grabs here on over one hundred.

Hey, this was about this time yesterday I was telling you about my holiday. I went on with my fiance Paul, my brother. He's a beautiful fiance, Steph, and our gorgeous, brand new fourteen week old niece Cci, we call her.

Here's a snapshot of what you are loaded about yesterday.

We get to the airport, they've were like sixteen bags, and then you have to go to oversight his luggage to check ins, which you hate being in.

The car on the car sorcery is getting a car seat put in a car.

And then you get to the house, gorgeous tonal cream.

Next minute there's colors every like a unicorn had vomited on the place within five minutes.

Then the kitchen where there's beautiful wine glasses all stucked up.

There's fifty little bottles sterilization.

Sterilizer.

They took fifteen bottles.

Praise be to the mummers and the dads out there that managed to travel on their own with dependence.

Yeah, it's hard.

It look I got I got so many DMS last year from parents being like, traveling with a baby ain't a hole.

I'll be honest. You and I were talking about it last night, and I would say, you're actually traveling at the easiest time right now? Easy?

Yeah, well look and a lot of people said that too.

Like when they're that age, you still go you can still go out for restaurants.

They're not talking crawling exactly. Walking.

Yeah, that's true. But you know what they do do They dribble and vomit on everything.

That doesn't a dummy just fix everything.

She's not really a dummy, sucker.

Really, it meant for you, so we don't hear you complain.

She's so cute, but I've never seen you feed it, I should say, and then she vomits it back up again and then they just dribble, So I reckon. She would have had eight costume changes a day. It's not outfit changes. I had about six costume changes a day. All of my clothes are also covered in.

Through the onesies. And I'll give you hot tip. If you're buying a onesie is a gift for someone, don't get them one with buttons?

What about those.

At three o'clock in the morning. Three o'clock in the morning, you haven't slept for three days trying to get them.

Well, yeah, and they bought it because we went zips spying they so they bought all the cute outfits that I had spent money on buying for her, and they just don't even bother ever dresser in the cute little outfits I bought. They're just completely impractical. No one told me that babies don't want to be in little matching sets?

Did you get oshkosh gosh?

I did? Overall, I'm gonna get muma matching out.

And it was hot, right, so she's a bit unsettled, and I was like, oh, well, maybe she's thirsty.

We'll give her some water.

And no, no, no, it was like slow, who knew babies don't drink water?

I thought they had them out of the little sippy cups.

Chippy cups of water. No, but she's having formula, which is mixed with water. Why don't you have water? How does she hydrate.

Through the formula? Babies babies just can't es water when they're souper.

But if she has water, she wants the water, the vomit will be clear. No, that's way better for my laundry habits?

Is that? How you?

Anyway? I didn't feed her water because I got told babies.

Don't drink like gremlins.

How old are they when they drink water? A few months, right, well, she's a few months.

And how long are they on the old formula for before they go the solidy tar business?

Eighteen twelve months started teeth? Like around the twelve month mon.

Did they turn into little crocodiles? Little tea?

Well, I mean it can get towards eleven twelve month mark because if lady's still breastfeeding, they like yeah, yeah, Like like I remember, you know Louid be breastfeeding. Then you just.

Oh, so she was dribbling and I was like, maybe she's teething, And I'm like, Lauren, she was born about three seconds ago.

Shen't. I was like, oh, why was she dribbling?

Then?

Was it relaxing? You seem relaxed.

Oh, don't even get me started on trying to take a child to the beach, Like the amount of stuff. I was like, you can stay home, No, you.

Got to get You're gotta start getting ready the day before.

I'll see you guys there because this ain't it.

Did the child have a bonnet?

Oh my god? I put her in sunglasses and she was weakened at Bernie's. You don't remember that show? Look who's talking?

Yes, the sunglasses that was her there were many things that shook me about being on holiday with a baby. I mean, how on earth as a new parent do you get anything done?

Ever? When do you eat yourself? When do you rest?

When do you sit down? I don't think my sister in law sat down for seven days while we were there.

I sat down ten years ago now.

And then I'm holding the baby on the couch, sitting down, of course, and I see Steph, my sister in law, standing in the kitchen, rocking like she's on a boat, like she's got the sea legs.

But she's just so used holding the baby in constantly.

You know what I used to do out of habit, because like we would always rock the baby in the pram if we're at a cafe, and I'd use my foot on the wheel.

Yeah.

And then after the kids graduating out of the pram and stuff, I used to still sit at cafes rocking my.

Yes, like you're playing the drums.

Yeah.

No one warns you about this stuff. You get sea legs permanently.

Whum, let's run with this thirteen twenty four ten. What did they not tell you about having a.

Baby, Like the fact they can't drink water?

No, you could kill them.

Okay, well that's I know that now.

Yeah, thirteen twenty four ten. What did they not warn you about when having a kid?

Did they not warn you that you wouldn't sit down for seventeen years?

Because that's how say it, and you just sit there and go, oh, they're doing it the wrong one.

I'm still thrown by that story you told ages ago about sucking the snot out of the nose.

Oh yeah, if they get a block nose and you can't and you can't buy a sucker from the chemist, you did it like mouth to mouth. You put the mouth over the end of the nose.

And did they never tell you you'd ever be able to go to the toilet in peace?

Never?

That's what everyone says about Toddlance.

Right, You're just trying to do, just trying to have one minute to yourself and the kids are just in there.

I'll put a padlock on my door.

All jokes aside. I have alone at a moment the other night, like I started getting two kids sorted, I was about to saw it Archie and I just sat down on the bed and just shed a tear and went, I feel like I have no life right now, and then I was like, okay, time to get Archie ready for a.

Yeah, it's Archie's world and you're living in That was our holiday.

It's Sienna's world.

And I'm just to Sienna have a baby monitor.

Mate, the amount of bait. There's one on the crib, there's one on the something else, it's.

On the phone.

It's just CCTV.

Leave her at home and we'll go out because there's enough cameras on it, we'll know what's going on.

It was like filming Boog Brothers. Stand by for Bedroom Camp, Take Bedroom Care, seriously, Sleeping Camp, Take Sleeping Camp.

And I kept thinking, thinking she was moving out of the corner of my arm the monitor.

So I go check on her, but she's for the crib.

Rocks, the electric crib yah popular.

It's like she's escaping.

Thirteen twenty four ten is our number. We're asking what did people not tell you before having children? There really should be some sort of warning label, a manual, Yeah, mate, manual.

I'm sure there's DVDs about it.

Well, they have those like classes that you go to. We had a whole bunch.

Of knobs and they tell you things like you're never ever going to wear clean clothes again.

No, you're right, and that's the thing they tell you, like stuff that.

Really I'm sorry the priorities.

I only wear black thinking it doesn't get as dirty, but it actually shows up vomit. More they saying to you should only wear white and light colors because you can't see the baby.

They're more teaching you things like choking hazards.

Occupied with getting the baby out, just like that's your focus at the moment.

Yeah, there's a.

Whole lesson on that, but that's someone else's job to help get it out.

Your job is what to do with it when it's out.

And you know, there's no signing of papers. You just take it home.

No, you don't have to sit for a lot, micro chip it.

They don't. But they're like, all right, well you guys seen like you're in good health, good luck, and that's it. You don't sign them out, You just grab them walk out.

So they don't tell you you're not going to sit down for the first seventeen years of your life.

No, you get a visit sometimes from yes, she's a sorry.

Wrong, the nurse, the council.

Yeah, they come around and laugh and mock at you. Amy in Hampton Park on thurteen, twenty four to ten. What did people not tell you about having kids?

They didn't tell me about the teating stage, when they first get their teeth and when the last ones come in.

What happens.

My son got his first teeth at four months and he's almost two and he's back mollers are now starting to come in night.

Do they dribble a lot and scream?

Yes they do.

He sucks his thumb. We go through t shirts, bibs, clothes, they just drill, turn off.

You know what's disgusting?

I think I know what you're going to say.

That parents use I don't think it's for dribble though, but parents use it, and I'm sure it's an excellent tool.

But there's someone with no kids. It makes me want to vomit.

They wear those bibs that are buckets. Yeah, it dribbles out of their mouth and it goes in their bucket. And then occasionally you catch the kids scooping the food back out of the bucket and going for a second hood.

Sometimes the parents spout and the spoon.

Well.

Other worse, it's going to go on the floor. It's just more mess. You put it in the bin back in the times from the mouth, why not.

The big bucket? Short practical, but it's foul.

Where do you sit on the chain, bitch? Actually the chain?

I just take my breakfast the.

Chain up where the dummies attached to a chain.

It's brilliant on the.

Floor, like the sunglasses with the chain.

You know what else? I found just dummies everywhere in the house as well.

Yeah, they just do they just get lost.

You bought those fun little dummies that have like the fake mustache and stuff on them.

No, no, but she had a glow in the dark one and I went into check on her and I thought there was an alien coming out of her mouth.

I was like, what godre world is going on here? I went on holidays.

I spoke about it yesterday with my brother and sister in law, beautiful niece, Sienna. She's fourteen months old, and I am learning all kinds of things that I never knew happened when you have babies to look aftersh.

What did they not warn you about when it comes to having kids?

First, I wanted to say, Gates and Lauren and Clint, we missed you when you were gone. I put themselves in their rooms. Your kid and twelve.

My daughter said this.

Clint doesn't come back on, I'm not going back to school.

Well, you need to watch her. If she's got that attitude that it's a troubled team, teleportant.

Education is and she loves you clean.

What did they not warn your trash?

Don't go shopping just by the basic prem the basic, the japs one, whatever you can and just pass it down from child to child. Like I said, I've got sixteen, thirteen and twelve chrust.

I thought you were going to say had sixteen kids. Don't go to the baby shops.

Like we went and bought the big pimp and pram. It looks all pretty and everything.

You don't buy the pimp and pram.

We used the two hundred dollar job all the time. It's just easier one hand.

Welming. Oh man, it's all they're overwhelming seventy options.

Well then they so when we're on holidays, they hired all of this stuff that turned up at the house and someone like helped set it all up, and so they had like their home set up in the house. What does a baby doesn't like staying in someone else's room apparently not like its own.

Normal You know they got now you know the car seats.

Right, car seats are a nightmare trying to get it out of the car.

No, no, let's just sell the car and buy a new one.

Let's just torch the car or do an insurance job. No. Now, you can hit a button in the car seat automatically comes out, so you're not leaning into the car. Some of them are.

Ridiculously I mean it comes out like out the door.

Yeah, shut up.

So that's awesome.

Like the little baby seats, so you're not crouching through the back and you know, not hit the baby's head.

But also they're so small. I put the baby in just so tight in there. I'm like, she can't swing a cat in there. She got enough room. They're like, no, gotta be tightt be snug.

That's the idea to save their life.

They still have baby capsules that old day when we were in the capsule.

Yeah yeah, the capture unclip it. They're a bloody godsends Louise.

All the accessories. It's very expensive having a.

Child, absolutely so.

And then they grow and then you need a different car seat in like three.

Minutes that they grow.

But I thought the car seat will grow with the child.

Do you know why they grow because they eat a lot. My sister's like a walking snack machine. Yeah, yeah, like a machine. And they just after you, like just had the banana. Now they're into the bloody barbecue shape and.

You know what, just after you've cleaned up after breakfast.

My god, it's like you, Jason, You're a giant baby.

Louise, don't laugh and encourage them. Why did they not warn you about having a.

Kid sleep regressions for months?

When they're eating the sleep regression when.

They learn a new skill, I still haven't worked it out. My son's firstborn failed every sleep school and sleep consultant we have, So what.

Does that mean? So they could be a good sleeper?

And then they go back all of a sudden grow teeth and Oise, what are they doing trying to get the munchies at midnight or something? Because we've got teeth.

Now, Louise, have you ever experienced a night terror?

Yeah?

They are absolutely frightening. This is where like the.

Kid will just they weed themselves.

They half wake up with a full nightmare, freaking out and you go running in and they're screaming and you're trying to wake them but they're still asleep.

Oh oh, that's like they're possessed by something.

Yeah, I have that quite often.

I've had night terrors, you know, where you freeze.

And that's because you wake up and you don't know where you are.

It's very different last night.

You know what else freaks me out though, It's called the dream feed where the babies asleep still put the bottle in and somehow they still suck on it while they're sleeping.

Yep, that's a dream feed.

Someone trying to feed you while you're asleep.

Oh, that'd be lovely.

I'll try it with the Carlton this Saturday, streaking out. Do your head hits the table, I'll be like, he can take another. Alison on Thurtay twenty four ten. What did they not warn you about having kids?

When you're in labor, you often cool yourself.

Oh i've heard this.

Sorry, at what stage once you've well.

If you're having a natural birth, when when you're pushing very hard, yes, your body's just trying to get everything out.

Now.

I had a sister who was so concerned.

About this, about pulling yourself.

Yeah, she just said, I'm not going to cope with that. She was funny about the toilet, she said, I'm not. And so she did all of these things before giving birth to make sure she didn't purpose at the same time, I'm trying to put this delicate and her husband and she said to him, I just I just don't. I don't want you down there. I don't want He really wanted to be down the catching end, and she said, I don't want you to be.

And so she did everything.

And after she gave birth, did I poop myself?

And he said, no, honey, you didn't. You didn't. Well done, Well done.

Darling handed the baby. About six years later in an argument about something, having a blow up about something, and he turned around and said.

Well, you know what you yourself when you gave birth and she nearly died. Did he hung on to it for that?

Sweet?

She was like, you, but it's quite common, it's very common. But she was just convinced it hadn't happened. Six years later she found out.

This is bloody crazy, this youth crime around Melbourne at the moment, a police chase, machetes in the car, shopping center brawls. I know everyone gave me crap earlier when I said, like, you know, we need to get like social media companies on board so we can ban them from social media accounts because that, to me, that's the only way I.

Think you can really and that's where it's starting.

Like no, no, no, My concern is how do you punish your fifteen year old like they just give them the chair block, No, lock them up.

There is a serious issue with reoffending and reoffending.

Yeah, but at the moment it's like say they you know, like these idiots that were doing the shopping center brawl or you know, the stolen car.

Think I think the issue is in the courts. The courts are not dishing out anything but a slap on the one hundred percent lock them up, juvenile justice, Yeah, I guess.

But the backlock you know in courts and then trying to like you know, find the facilities.

These kids they're going to court and then they're being warned, they're walking out of.

There, so they're getting to court.

It's reoffending for me. Reoffending for me.

Just kids make mistakes and kids do dumb things.

Kids shouldn't be in. BMW's making their way from Baronia in Melbourne's through campbe will Glen Iris into Richmond into the city in a stolen car with machetes.

Yeah, come on, no, No, they shouldn't be.

You know what I'm going to say, where are the parents? I know you can't control a fifteen year old all the time and stuff, but you know, if it was ten pm last night on a Tuesday night, my kid wasn't home, I would wonder where the hell they are.

Sorry, when you're fifteen and sixteen, you know better. It's not about what mum's telling you to do. You know better than that, and you have to wear it yourself.

Roll out, Judge Judy, I say.

Judge Lauren.

By the sound of it, Oh, I know that'd all be locked.

Up for a parking ticket. You've just given me twelve years jail, maximum security. Believe Golf Adelaide is coming back. Made of mind Nathan the boys went last year. This was a rookie move all the trades right. He was like, hey, boys, I'm going to take you off the job site, take you for a party couple of days away in Adelaide. They hired a minibus and drove there and I'm like, gracious, I'm like, fly back, fly.

Back that cost? How long does that take? Ten hours.

Yep, about eight hours.

That'd be fun for the first four hours.

See, I think it'll be fun to drive there. But then after partying at Live Golf for three days, he said the drive back was so somber. I'm like, no, that's a flight back job.

Yeah, I'd be like, see you guys, Yeah.

A mini bush torch that bus claiming true to get a flight back. So Live Golf Adelaide returns April twenty six to twenty eight with world class golf, fan village fun and headline music acts. Tickets are at livegolf dot com. Otherwise, if you hit up the Noble website, we will take care of the lot. Plus you could be putting for one hundred thousand dollars.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Abolutely They used to do that on Prices right. Whoever the part for the car that.

Is my favorite and the.

How on earth could you remember? I loved the prices?

Right?

So did I bring that back?

Mariam? To get off the morning show and get back on the prices right now?

It's funny, Larry, he's very good on the show.

On the chase step, No, that's someone.

Else's on the chain chase on the chase.

On the chain getting point as well.

I love the tipping point. I want to go on the tipping ports.

A great win last night on the tipping point.

Supermarket run around, right, but they'd run around with the shopping trollet and because they were always more expensive.

Speaking of game shows, what about Taylor Swift's boyfriend Travis Kelsey is hosting has just been announced to be hosting similar to are you Smarter than a fifth grader?

But it's are you smarter than a celebrity?

Yeah?

I mean he's just making Hey.

Well the sunshines is absolutely good on him, but that will be cringe.

I reckon, I reckon. Taylor's like, hey, babe, I reckon, do a pass on this. We're good for money.

So you've got a university degree. The other day, Travis Kelsey, what is he doing something akin to a doctorate? You know he's celebrated by cracking a tinians, scowing.

Videos of the Coachella Honey, someone to cuddle me like that? And sing to ice Space with beard. He's looks like he looks like a bodyguard. I like it.

You've also got your own man.

I know he's also and he won't wrap his arms around me like that and sing to Ice, Spice with his cap on backwards and his song.

All right, that is it. We are getting out of here. You keep drinking.

Jason Lauren Jason Lauren, Wake Up Feeling Good on Nomber one hundred.

Lauren on Socials