Bonus: Melbourne's Wildest Group Chats

Jason Lauren on over one hundred.

I've got some amazing neighbors. I got Andrew, the footy nuffy, who will not be in a good mood today.

Why massive massive defense does the event?

Yeah, oh god, oh you can't win them all.

I'm actually I'm in a bedding syndicate with him, and I was supposed to put the bed on last night, but you didn't.

I didn't. Well, that's good.

Here the mate, I got the Croatians across the road. That's that's the long term game to get into the.

Will Okay, stop saying that.

And then I've got Sharon next door, the swinger. No, that's unconfirmed, swing Sharon.

We just we just caught swing chap so sorry, she's not a swinger. We just call her swinging Sharon. Yeah, oh, my apologist Sharon. Unconfirmed, she suspected swinger.

She popped over the other day with a veno. I was on the driveway playing basketball with the kids.

Was your wife home? No, Sharon pops over a lot when lo's not home with the bottle of wine. It was in the front I love shower. It was in the Sharon marry Yes, Sharon's husband home.

Yes, I don't know. I don't think so.

Oh, it's a few holes in this story already.

I love Sharon's so much. Sharon is she should She should be her neighbors. She would be pacing up and down Ramsey Street with looking for friends.

So she's popped over. I'm on the front driveway. Kids are playing basketball. She came in for a little afternoon veno.

Did she bring her own plastic cups?

She had a.

Glass and was like, Hey, you want one, I'll go back to the house and get you.

I love her. What day? What day? Yeah? I love this? What day?

What day?

Was it a week day or weekend?

It was Sunday, Sunday sometime.

Knock yourself out? Sharon probably a second bottle.

And that's when she informed me, would I like to join her? And her girlfriend?

Gets better? Yet next weekend?

This coming weekend, they're going to get together for some venos and then get out the chainsaw and trim their bushes.

She's looking for a token man.

So hang on. Yeah, So she said, I.

Don't think Sharon should have venos and operated change.

Which is exactly what I said, Lauren. I'm like, I actually think it should be the other way around. She goes, well, my friend wants to start this little group. But we all get together on a weekend and then we share power tools and clean up the yards.

And I'm like, oh, it's a terrible idea.

That's what I said.

Why don't you do the yards and then have the venas exactly this is going to end in the current affairs, Thank you very much. Sharon thought it would be a good idea to exchange power tools and shard news.

He's Sharon now with no limbs like you. No, that's not going to end exactly, Sharon.

I mean the blower would be fine. You could use the blower after a few chardis, did she ask you to have a turn on the blower?

She didn't ask me to blow So she does venos and chainsaws. That's her new group. We were once part of it.

That sounds like psychopath.

Oh God, you really turned on her quickly.

Yeah, the group chat venos and chains Yes.

The other is when we were living in Brisbane, we used to have these two boys live around the corner row and Dave love them that the god parents are one of our kids, beautiful couple. On Wednesdays we used to have wine watch, so we would go out, this is pre kids. We would go out for dinner on a Wednesday night and have a few venos and in rather neighborhood watch. We call it wine watch, and that was our dinner to share all the goths on the other neighbors.

Yeah, I love that, each of us have got said a neighborhood watch.

Exactly, love that wine watch. It'd be like, do you know what Debbie's doing? A number two? That's very good.

Yeah, we've got the tarts in my street, right, and oh we talk about everything in the street, in the neighborhood. We know what's going on, right, we look out for one another.

You're part of any groups Parma Nation, Parma Nation, Yeah, Parmenation. Parmonation's basically if you sample good Parma, you upload the photo, you give the instructions to your eyes and it's.

Basically a database. We keep a database. The best partments, can you put me in the group? Chat a few?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, this is well, this is like the tarts in our area. Well, they're not just in our area, they're just on our street. And we've got a girlfriend who's moved into street span. She's like, can we be in the group chat, and we're all aren't. No, you're to live in.

The street right thirteen It's.

Not a wider neighborhood chat, it's a street chat.

Thirteen twenty four ten. You're right.

I can't just have anyone coming around drinking a veno and operating power saws.

Absolutely not.

Thirteen twenty four ten. What group are you a part of?

Are We've got parmer Nation, we've got wine Watch, we've got venos and chainsaws, and we've got the tarts.

And what are the politics around getting into the ground?

Oh?

Yeah, because there are politics.

Is there still the State Night Club here? Bradie?

It sounds like you've been kicked out.

Yeah, no, I was never invited.

I'm actually in the Steak Light group. Really only came once, so he's not a fully fledged member of Steak Lights.

How often is the State Night Group happening?

We were gone once a fortnight, but people working different jobs and different shifts. Now it's kind of a pause has been put on Steak Night. So we're actually going to flip it up and go for a Sunday roast soon.

What do you say? He said, Sunday roast sign on the Steak now.

Accent thirteen twenty fourteen is our number. What group are you a part of?

Give us a ring.

Let's go to Sarah in High. Good morning. What group are you a part of?

I'm part of a Stitch and Bitch.

Stitch and Bitch. What happens at Stitch and Beach Oliveney High?

Can I be a member of Stitch and Bitch?

Absolutely? We always take new members. Okay, So it's actually my ex's mum and all of her girlfriends. We get together, we have a few wines, we crochet and we talk shit about everything.

Has it got a WhatsApp?

Yeah?

And it's called Stitch and Bitch.

Yeah, okay, what do you want? What do you crochet?

We've done like spiderwebs. I usually do like pets, but the ladies are a little bit more reserved.

You do they like bag? Yeah? You're crocheting pulpair pants? Yeah?

Are you any good? Or are you really there? Just there for the bitching?

Oh?

I'm a little bit of it.

Right, okay?

Pants? That will take quite some time.

Well, there's a lot of gods they need to share line.

Let's go to Thomas in Point Cook, Good morning.

What group are doing well?

So I am you know a group chat with all my friends that's been going on for about ten years now. Think it's about ten people in it. But over the years people get more getting annoyed when we're talking about certain chats, certain topics. Right, So over time we've created I think it's over one hundred and fifteen individuals.

So much, so much. I've got friends that do this too, and they're like, oh, we've got like this wider group, like firing crew of friends.

And then most pubpects and we most likely have.

Not too many, too many topics.

We got like plenty groups.

Yeah, like breakaway groups. So we've got this crew. We're all pretty close mates in Byron and when we lived up there. But instead of just being in that group chat, Oh it's someone's birthday, we're doing this. They'd be like, oh, start a new one because some people can't come. I'm like, well, just don't engage in the chat about the birthday if you can't. Sorry, the kids basketball, We're not starting a new group.

Here's the basketball group and it's the coach's chat. And how many of you got on mute? I've got a few I left to lose. Family chat. Did you didn't how didn't know it comes up? Jason Hawk has left the family got apparently that blow.

Upteen twenty four ten is our number to join us on the airwork group.

Are you're part of.

Naya from Pakingham? Good morning? You belong to a group with benefits?

Hello?

Hello, Yeah, so belongs to a beauty like maintenance group. So one person does hair, one person does nails, one person like this sension and like waxing in the sage, and we kind of just like use a Barty system and be like, if I want to go get my nails that, then I'll do with her hair.

That's why you do it for each other for free.

Just book each other in. That is a great idea.

Chat. I love that.

That's really good.

Lauren needs a makeup done for the Mother's Day lunch we've got today.

You got to make up?

No, we doren't. That's what we're missing. But we're all pretty good on our own so it's fine.

Yeah, we need to Sorry, what's wrong with me doing my own face?

You said yesterday I need to get my makeup done?

No I didn't.

Someone in there have a MOA for grooming you.

No, No, you can't say, oh my husband needs some greaming.

Holly in Carrara Downs, what's a go? What group are you part of?

Dim Sims for Life?

Sorry dimmim.

Ye Holly, talk to us.

Where is the best dim sim in Melbourne?

Oh there's so many ones, but the biggest one that everyone is going on about is the South Melbourne.

Ye.

Yeah, and you can't pas South Melbourne.

Yeah, I'm got to made the mine who started a full online campaign. It's taken off now in New Zealand. Yeah, and he basically now for a living reviews fish and chip.

Shops good, so he gets paid to do it.

So post the photo of So you go in and he just gets the same order at each one. You got standard fish and chips. So then that way he'll do like the chip ratio to the fish, the.

Quality of potato cakes. No, no, no, same order every chip fish.

You got to eat chips. You got to put a potato cake in there. That's at every fish and chip shop. You have to throw that in and tell him maybe a crabstick to absolutely not.

I told you over there. Remember it's weird. It's a weird little contry.

They crumb the fish end. No, No, it's also a weird country.

It's combined.

It's a fish and chip shop and a Chinese takeaway.

And talk to me about the curry sauce OUs on that.

So you can, like I could ring up and go. Can I get two pieces of battered flake and a lemon chicken?

Every fish and chip shop has? Why?

I don't know. That's quite a cut down on rent.

Is it the Chinese community that have taken over the fish and chip shop?

Maybe the these community running all the two birds one stone?

I'd love that when you can't.

Oh, isn't it? It's very odd?

Fish and chip, potato cake and a lemon.

I don't think I want all that mixing in the same deep Isabella thirteen, twenty four ten.

What group you're part of, morning guys.

I'm in a group called cookie Cutter Identification.

Okay, oh my gosh, I've seen this on Facebook?

What is it?

Yeah? So basically what these cookie cutters? People post the picture of the cookie cutter and then people reply They've drawn in pictures of what they think it might be, or even just.

Cookies. So you see a photo of like, you know, like a cookie cutter. It's just like the outline of something. But people have them and they're.

Like, what is this you're talking about? Like little metal things?

Yeah? Like that. So then they're like, what is this supposed to be? Like I can't work out what shape this is supposed to be. And that's a group and then you decorate it accordingly. People are like, Oh, you could make it into this, or you can make it into that.

I don't know why that's in the group now.

I'm actually I was sort of leaning more towards what'sapp it On Facebook, I'm on some weird ones. There's one called in school, like free Photoshop, and people upload a photo of them like they might be at Disneyland or whatever, and they're like, hey, guys, could you cut everyone else out of the background? Or like this girl put one up the other day saying I need a professional headshot.

And trust you to be in a photoshop?

Oh? It's so people, It's so funny. People go like editing, so some of them look amazing and some of them just take the piss.

Are you in kmart air fry?

Oh?

Yeah, baby, Oh well, you're not living. You are not living.

I told you I'm not into the airstra in Oh yeah, it's in a snake group and he's obsessed with it. People identify snake and he once made a snake in pantgag and then the got kicked out.

People who identify snakes.

No no, no, no no. They to put up photos and people have to identify the snake, like I found this in my backyard or I found this here. People who idea you don't.

You know what, guys, we all need to get out more identify as a cobra.

Jason Lauren Jason Lauren wake Up Feeling Good a number one hundred Jason Lauren Bollygood on socials