Hey, q vank, I can never say, Hugh Van Kylon Burke, that's it. He Resilience Project YEP and also co hosts The Imperfect podcast with Good Mate about Brian Sheldon and Hughes Brother, Great potty, awesome guys. Well, just very authentic, very open.
Tackle all things vulnerability, which I love, especially in men, because.
If there's one thing I know you los and I agree on is I love talking about subjects that don't really get spoken about a lot. I like normalizing things because I genuinely think the more we talk about things, the more we normalize.
It, it will be tough. You've got to have these conversations.
Hugh posted a video. Oh they did it on their podcast, and it was around this time last week. I saw it pop up over the weekend, and I'll be honest, it's taken me a few days to watch the whole thing. It was an open letter to parents of autistic children. Now, I've got three young boys under eleven. One of my boys has been diagnosed autistic, and you know, we've come a long way over the years, but I love him debits and you know, parenting generally is not easy, and
parenting your I diverse kids. It can be bloody hard. And I think this video really hit me because some of the things he was talking about. I was like, wow, LOUI, my wife and I were not alone. You know other parents are experiencing this. I just want to play you sixty seconds of his open letter. Yeah, please do. And this was his open letter to parents of autistic children.
Most people will not understand this yet, but the pain of being a parent or an autistic child is not the child. It's the world. The pain is seeing your child standing on the sidelines, confused, distressed, and left out while the other kids instinctively understand the rules and the social norms.
It's watching the world overwhelm them and then holding them through yet another meltdown, knowing they don't want to feel this way, knowing that they're feeling a deep sense of shame, but their body and mind is overwhelmed and out of control, and there's nothing you can do except be there. It's the quiet grief of unspoken words and watching them struggle to express things that come so easily to others. It's the way people look at you in public when they're
crying on the floor or smashing themselves against the wall. Strangers, assuming they're badly behaved instead of overstimulated, exhausted, drowning in a world that refuses to slow down for them. And however hard it is for me, I know they're doing it so much tougher.
Can I first just say thank you to Hugh for being brave and to talk about this and do the open letter. I just want to say. I spoke to Felix, my son, and my wife last night because I was like, look, guys, I would like to talk about this and help normalize it. Obviously Dad doesn't want to do that. If you know, you don't want me to.
They feel uncomfortable.
So how it's feel because Helix is eleven most caring kid in the world. I love him to bits, And he was like, no, talk about it because I think, well, we talk about this stuff the yeaser it gets and it's so true. Like you know how the running joke on this show is like, I don't leave my suburb. Yeah, and it's sort of true because for us to leave our suburb and go and do something, it's almost like
a three day event. So like the other week, the Phoenix invited us to the basketball and it was awesome. I was so excited. The boys were so excited for us to go to a game on Sunday afternoon at two o'clock. It's that's a three four day lead up for us. It's us going on Saturday. Okay, we can't have anyone around today, we can't go anywhere. We just need a real chilled afternoon Saturday, so he's not over stimulated. Let's time until we get to the game. Just before it starts.
I assume there's a building his confidence as well, exactly comfortability.
He is such a great kid and gets it now. So if he's in situations where he's starting to get overwhelmed, to let us know and we just get out of there. And then you know, as everyone leaves John Caterina and they've had a great time, that's where the work begins for us, because now we have to spend the next day or two trying to help you know, him, regulate himself and create a quiet environment and just so we can reset. And I'll be honesty, it's black side. It's exhausting.
There's also the other siblings, like so that you know, there's the guilt, like you know, and God love them, my three boys absolutely love them as sorry, love each other, but I also know, you know, for the other siblings, it's like, you know, unfortunately the times we can't share our time equally, which is you know, which is bloody tar on there?
Well you are, you are there, their parents, their protect protector, right. They're saying that struck me in what you just said, which I mean you should take a whole lot of comfort from and that is in his words, there's nothing else you can do but be there.
Yeah, And I think that's what I really struggle with at the start because I'm a fixer and Lou had to teach me that. She's like, you know what, it's not about fixing, it's just being about being there.
Oh, it's about accepting, right.
Yeah, it really is. And we've come. I'm so proud of our little family and how far we've come. You know, we openly talk about it. He's got so good now verbalizing if something's going to be overwhelming for him, and you know what, we just unfortunately we can't go out to everything. You know, people be like you're coming to this school event, you know what, it's at seven thirty.
We can't do it. It's not worth it. But ye, we have come so far, and I just think the more we talk about this stuff, because the other thing was, it was about a year or two ago and I said to Lou, I'm like, we're going to start telling people in our circle, like you know, we've got to tell our family and our friends. What were you know, the situation. I was open with you guys, and what I found in the past two years, Clint is knowledge
is power. The more you're open with your circle of people, the more understanding they will be, and it just makes it that a little bit easier.
I mean, well done to you for verbalizing it as well. It's really important and normalizing, you know, normalizing the conversation. Obviously it ends with awareness, but also can I just say from us to you as well, you and Lou, it's it's quite clear even from Afar about you know how how patient you are. You are great parents, and you are great role models. And we've a bad day.
But I get that.
But you know what, your boys, not just not just Felix, but your boys feel a great deal of comfort being at home with you, guys, and you should be immensely proud of that.
Thank you, man. I am, I'm very proud of him.
Can I have a manhunt?
Yeah, come and get a man hut. Come on, thanks mate, Sorry it took me a while to get through that. I just yeah, I just wanted to say hats off to Hugh. And there's one thing you, Lauren and I pride ourselves on is normalizing these conversations just before we get out of here. And I want to wait till after school drop off to chat about it, even though I did FLAG with my family and my son, but
we were just chatting about the imperfect podcast. Hugh van kylein Burg, great guy, runs a brazilience project and in his recent podcast, he did an open letter to parents of autistic children. Just for the break, I was talking about my eleven year old son, Felix, who is autistic. We love normalizing the conversation on this show, so that's why I just wanted to pay tribute to Hugh. I just I just want us all to be a little bit more positive like our numbers thirteen twenty four to ten.
Anytime you want to weigh in and where people like to run to the fire. So I don't want to shy away from this. One of the producers just copped an earfull from someone on the phones then, because they thought, why we're paying tribute to Hugh when other podcasts have addressed this stuff. I know m Riciano has addressed it on her podcast. I know em get along with it quite well. To be honest, I didn't address it then because my family and I weren't in the right headspace
that you didn't feel comfortable. Then No, So it is just a timing thing. But let's look at this. It's not a pussy content it is. Let's look at this stuff more positive, you know what I mean. It's we're talking about it now. That's what matters. Now more we can normalize it, whatever topic it is, the easier it makes it great.
We've had a lot of calls Jace, including Loretta. On thirteen twenty four Tenretta, good morning, Hi guys.
What's up mate?
I just wanted to say, Jay, you're wonderful. You're not alone. I just dropped off my nine year old son who's got level three nonverbal AX.
How How how are you and them doing?
It's really tough. He's got a lot of what they call behaviors of concern. So when he gets frustrated, anxious, overwhelmed, he gets quite aggressive. So my husband and I are often covered in scratches and bites and it's really tough.
Acceptance is a word. I want to ask you about how you feel your son is accepted and how important conversations like the one we're having on air.
Oh, it's so so important. There is there is a complete lack of acceptance out there and a complete lack of knowledge and awareness. Like you know, as Jose was saying before, it's it's really hard to get out of the suburb. And if we go, you know, to our local wulies and he gets overwhelmed. Yea, you know, the judgment, the little the comments, it's just another level of distress.
And look, you know what in saying that, I think people are scared of the unknown sometimes, haylered. I was mentioning since Lou and I sort of had that turning point where we're like, knowledge is power. We need to let our inner circle of friends and family know, you know our situation. It's helped us immensely. Are you in a similar boat? Have you opened up friends and family there where you know your situation and does it help?
It does help. We don't have We've got very very limited family and We've lost a lot of friends because of you know, George's aggression. It can be overwhelming even to just be in the presence of Yea, you know when he is overwhelmed.
Yeah, I get it.
But I'm you know, I work in the disability sector. I'm an advocate, you know, I'm on the I'm on the school council. So I'm trying to be as vocal as i can. Yeah, and that's all we can do.
And your roles, I'm talking about you as well, Jason, and also Loretta chief protectors right to your kids. But you've also got to keep in mind that you know, you've got to You've got to help yourself as well. Yeah, this is all part of it.
Absolutely, And I think that's what I got out of Huge podcast and M's podcast and anybody else that's publicly spoken about this. And I hope you feel this way as well, Loretta. We're not alone. We are not alone. Well said, all right, Hey, have a great day, mate, and thanks for sharing.
Your story stuff you too, Thanks Jose.
Very little one for us, Okay.
I will, I will, thanks so much.
Take it easy. It is just gone three to nine. This is d a leepa. You're on nova. Good morning,