The embarrassing truth of dating men
Dec 19, 2025•15 min
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Episode description
What's it like to date a man? Ask pop stars or your friends, and you might hear it's a struggle.
From Sabrina Carpenter to Summer Walker, some of the biggest female artists on the charts today…are absolutely through with men. It’s a sentiment that has a name: heteropessimism. Coined in 2019 by the writer Asa Seresin, the term encapsulates the embarrassment, disaffection and fatigue that comes from being heterosexual.
“Men are trash” music that reflects these feelings isn’t new, but NPR Music editor Hazel Cills says it’s making a comeback. So what makes this time different? And what can we learn from this moment's heteropessimism about the realities of dating men today?
(0:00) How Heteropessimism went mainstream
(4:21) What makes this "Men are trash" moment different than the past?
(7:55) What do women want from their relationships?
(14:59) How long will we be in the "men are trash" era?
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Follow Brittany Luse on Instagram: @bmluse
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From Sabrina Carpenter to Summer Walker, some of the biggest female artists on the charts today…are absolutely through with men. It’s a sentiment that has a name: heteropessimism. Coined in 2019 by the writer Asa Seresin, the term encapsulates the embarrassment, disaffection and fatigue that comes from being heterosexual.
“Men are trash” music that reflects these feelings isn’t new, but NPR Music editor Hazel Cills says it’s making a comeback. So what makes this time different? And what can we learn from this moment's heteropessimism about the realities of dating men today?
(0:00) How Heteropessimism went mainstream
(4:21) What makes this "Men are trash" moment different than the past?
(7:55) What do women want from their relationships?
(14:59) How long will we be in the "men are trash" era?
Support Public Media. Join NPR Plus.
Follow Brittany Luse on Instagram: @bmluse
For handpicked podcast recommendations every week, subscribe to NPR’s Pod Club newsletter at npr.org/podclub.
See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.
NPR Privacy Policy
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