How do you know something is a request? Perhaps, we have been taught a bit wrong about this because it's not necessarily how you say something and/or if it's preceded with "please." There is more to it. Learn more about what makes a request a request and why it's so much better for connecting than a demand, listen in… Additional Resources: Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod Twitter: @ TheBigbieMethod Instagram: @ thebigbiemethod LinkedIn: ...
Dec 02, 2020•14 min•Ep. 11
What do we mean by empathy? For those people that are new to our podcasts and new to NVC, we mean presence, reflection, and taking guesses about the needs the person is trying to communicate. Non-Violent Communication is based on this idea that all conflict is a tragic expression of an unmet need, and by needs we mean things like love, courage, things everyone wants. Things like beauty, play, stability, security, there's lots of needs, lots of universal human needs, we often get caught up in str...
Nov 25, 2020•14 min•Ep. 10
Giraffes are tall, so they have far vision, and when you're using the Non-Violent Communication process, you have to have a long vision. It's not about being right or wrong, good or bad, it's like this longer view of what you're wanting in life. This might seem corny to some, but it's the truth, it's very much based in love. Key Points Discussed: • So with jackal out, somebody says something you don't like, somebody blames you and you blame them back. That's what you do when you have jackal out....
Nov 18, 2020•16 min•Ep. 9
The definition of connection that I like to use is that connection is the flow and ease that occurs within you and between people when they experience being seen, heard and valued without judgment. Key Points Discussed: • When we say things like, I feel manipulated, the person that is on the other side of that message is probably not going to see it very well because it's actually a judgment that's being couched by, and I feel on the front end of it, instead, if you were to say, I feel scared be...
Nov 11, 2020•14 min•Ep. 8
The definition of connection that I like to use is that connection is the flow and ease that occurs within you and between people when they experience being seen, heard and valued without judgment. Key Points Discussed: When I'm teaching NVC, I like to bring up this difference between observations and evaluations and let people become very clear on them, and it's not necessary to make that distinction, and every time you open up your mouth and when you're in a casual conversation with someone (2...
Nov 04, 2020•16 min•Ep. 7
I'd say about 50% of our population is going to be really, really upset. There's something about that that does not sit right for me at all, I want the disconnection to go away, I'm mourning connection hugely. And I just think no matter what happens, we must figure out a way to move towards connection in our society. I think the root of a lot of our issues has to do with language. Key Points Discussed: Much of the way that we're talking to one another today, especially on the political level, we...
Nov 02, 2020•10 min
People tend to have a typical way that they respond in circumstances, we call this in NVC, other conversational responses. Here are a list of them; there's giving advice, consoling, relating one-upping, if you're in the fight, you might use other conversational responses like blaming, judging, correcting, explaining. We also do things in general, claiming playing devil's advocate, sarcastic humor, all of which are the more subtle ones. Key Points Discussed: You have ways that you respond when yo...
Oct 28, 2020•15 min•Ep. 6
Key Points Discussed: Empathy process is the backbone of NVC, and I hesitate to even use the term empathy because most people, when they hear empathy, they think they know what empathy is, and empathy in non-violent communication is different than how people think of empathy. (2:38) And truth be told, most of us are not present with one another, our minds are often lost and never, never land, especially when we're in a conflict. When we're in conflict with someone, it's extremely hard to just st...
Oct 21, 2020•15 min•Ep. 5
The ACE Study is from the early 1990s, where they sampled about 17,000 people, having them take a survey that asked them, "From the ages of 0 to 17, how many of these things happened to you?" And they listed out 10 indicators things like sexual abuse, physical abuse, did you grow up in a household where there was mental illness, did you grow up in a household where there was drug abuse, did you grow up in a household where your parents were separated or divorced, where you saw a mom being treate...
Oct 21, 2020•13 min•Ep. 4
Key Points Discussed: Some people when they hear non-violent communication, they're turned off right from the get-go because they're thinking, well, I'm not violent with my communication, and non-violent communication came out of Gandhi's understanding of non-violence., and this idea that anything that disconnects us from another human being is a form of violence. (0:58) It's an extreme form, obviously of judgment and how it can play out and be disconnecting between people, for sure. And I think...
Oct 21, 2020•14 min•Ep. 3
Key Points Discussed: The folks in Washington that were running the whole thing, they wanted those of us on the forefront to do peace differently, because they had said back in the 60s, when people were trying to make peace come about, they were kind of often out of integrity with the piece that they wanted to bring. (1:43) And a note, mind you, this had not even been 24 hours to receive that said, this is a high price to pay, you've seen nothing yet. (6:40) My daughter was a senior in high scho...
Oct 15, 2020•17 min•Ep. 2
Key Points Discussed: I've been training youth and community volunteers in the NVC process, and I'm getting ready to launch my business called The Bigbie Method to operationalize peace in America schools by using NVC as the backbone.(1:20) There's a lot of people that hear the term Non-Violent Communication and they think this isn't for me, I'm not violent. When in fact, the term Non-Violent Communication comes from Gandhi's term of non-violence, and it's kind of based in this idea that anything...
Oct 14, 2020•6 min•Ep. 1
