Mastering Conversations: Unveiling the Power of Four Words with Tucker Miller

Music. Welcome everyone in the United States, Canada, and around the world to another episode of It's a Wrap with Wrap, the podcast of overcomers and useful information to better our daily life and mental well-being.

I am your host, Ron Rappaport. I would like to thank all our listeners, our viewers on our YouTube channel, It's a Wrap with Wrap, the podcast on cut, and our sponsors and supporters for making the podcast such a success.

The podcast may also be access through our website, itsarapwithrap.com, where you can find all the episodes, previews of future episodes, and unique products and services offered from our sponsors, as well as the podcast Book Nook, showcasing many of the books our guests have authored that can be purchased on Amazon. My guest today is Jay Tucker Miller, a professional speaker, executive coach.

A trial attorney with over 30 years of business leadership, experience, and author of The First Four Words, A Fresh Approach to Starting Conversations with Ease and Confidence. Tucker works with executive leaders one-on-one and routinely works with Fortune 500 companies and federal agencies, delivering training and consulting with them. Tucker is here with us today to help us get out of our way by offering a fresh and practical approach to starting conversations.

Most conversations fail because they never happen. The fear of not knowing what to say or how someone will respond all too often causes people to walk away rather than engage others in conversations that can deepen understanding, build trust, resolve conflicts, and achieve better results. Tucker will help us to prepare for our next difficult conversation, which we all have to deal with, and cut through the procrastination so the conversation will be effective as it can be.

Welcome, Tucker, to the podcast. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. I appreciate it. That was a great introduction. Well, thank you. This is an awesome topic because I think everyone has to overcome from certain, shall we say, not pleasant conversations in their lives. And this is really going to help people. Now, you wrote the book. Who is the book for? Amazon listed it in the business section, and you are an executive coach, basically coaching business leaders.

But I read the book, and I believe it can apply to a whole range of people. What are your thoughts on that? I think I need to go back and reclassify it in Amazon because I've consistently gotten that feedback. But I will tell you, there's quite a bit there that is informed by my experience of working with leaders.

And they were the first people that inspired the idea because consistently in working with leaders, some of them very high level leaders, I found it just amazing how difficult it was for them to have certain kinds of conversations. And frequently when I would ask that, why didn't you have the conversation that we agreed you needed to have and that you wanted to have? I kept hearing this one response and it was, I just didn't know what to say.

And I looked at my clients and I knew it was not a vocabulary issue. So I initially wrote the book with them in mind, but as the book emerged and certainly is I've gotten feedback just like yours for fun. It's a bigger book than just a leadership book. So it's definitely for leaders and everybody else. I mean, the way we live our lives is the way we lead. So you need to rethink that. Well, I definitely put a lot of that, what I read into practice since I've read it.

Now, I guess you answered my next question, the catalyst that inspired you to write the book. So it was the feedback you were getting from all these executives saying, hey, I don't know what to say. So basically, there's a fear out there. I think everyone has it. You know, you want to tell Uncle Joe, maybe you better, can you tone it down a little at the dinner table? I mean, it's just a whole gamut of things. There is a whole gamut. Just afraid, you know.

Yes, yes. There's so many of those experiences where we all know, just as you said that it's pretty hard to get the thing started and yes it was executives telling me they didn't know what to say which you went right to it it's more about i'm kind of afraid of what might happen yeah someone else told me i just don't have time for the conflict.

And frequently it's i already know how this is going to go and the question i would ask clients is how do you know what you think you know unless you test it? So the real trick is to get beyond excuses and fear and start to get curious.

And so the whole idea of it was if there were a way to gamify this a little bit, if there were a way that we could just kind of think of it as the easiest way to start a conversation and really the minimum viable product of a conversation, what would that be and when i started listening and studying and thinking about what was working for people, wondering if there was a sweet spot it turned out there was four words was just,

low enough a threshold that it got people off the couch and into the conversation. And at the same time, they could be heard and understood better. Yeah, that's my next question. How did you arrive at using four word phrases instead of more or less than four? Yeah, overachievers think if four is going to work, why don't I try two, you know, or is there a one? and there's a place where it gets to be so brusque or abrupt, it doesn't work as well.

So the question around four actually came to me subsequently through observation and writing things down that I heard. But my first thought when I was, this was during the pandemic and I was working with people online and I was out hiking and thinking about this problem and I thought of that game, Name That Tune.

And invariably there's some part in that game of name that tune i don't know if you've seen it or recall it yeah but the contestants would face off and say i can name that tune in eight notes and someone else would say i could name it in seven six and they'd go back and forth and finally come up with a number that they would agree to try to name that tune and i thought i wonder if that would work to get beyond the fear and start to think about what's the fewest number of words I could

use that would meaningfully get this thing started. So I actually had someone when I was writing the book, this guy called me up and he said, I just, I just don't get it. I don't see how that would work. Can you give me an example? And I said, yeah, how about this? This was a realist, very successful real estate broker. And I said, let's have a conversation. And he sat back and counted it up. And he says, you know, I think that would work. I have a lot of challenges with

my office staff, and I haven't been asking him to have a conversation. I said, give it a try.

And it was simple. It was just enough to give him the confidence he needed to get it started and enough curiosity to find out if he was right. So you're using this for people, you know, like in the business world, trying to have these conversations with their employees or whoever, but the four word phrase could also be used to say you wanted to meet somebody and instead of going blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, turning them off, you, you just say four words.

I think that gets somebody's attention. Yeah. Yeah. Just really, you're going to ask me for an example. And I'm like, but there is a chapter on networking. What are some ways that when you're in a networking event, if you could go loaded with some simple phrases ready to go, what would they be? And just, can you come along? Can you come along? You'll find yourself just sort of counting. You probably already have this. You've thought about it. It's like, hey, that's four. That works.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, for the four-word phrase to be effective, what qualities need to be in the phrase? So I want to be honest that there certainly are four-word phrases that really are going to work. Over my dead body, it's not my job, that category. And I have a chapter on that. Let me save you the trouble. Don't try these. But a key part of what you're talking about is it's not just a magic bullet that if it's four words, it's going to work.

There are things to think about in terms of tone and responsiveness. So coming with a tone of sincerity, compassion, calm, being calm. Curious and asking questions. Questions can be a superpower, particularly when we're looking for brevity and clarity. Giving enough space for people to respond can really make a difference. So definitely thinking about that. And then increasingly, as we're meeting people virtually, there are different things that we need to be attending to as we watch the room.

And some of our strategies for reading the room that work when we're face-to-face are a little bit different than when we're online. And so it does have an art to the practice. Would you say sincerity would be in there? Huge. Yes, absolutely. Sincerity, I mean, everyone shows up with their own personal brand 100%, even when they don't think they are.

So sincerity, compassion, empathy, calm, those are the things that's, Especially when, you know, we've got so much disruption and things happening in our lives and in the world.

The more we can bring the emotional stuff down and focus less on personality and emotion, the more we can focus on the issue at hand. Now, how do we account for shorter attention spans these days when conversing? I mean, because everybody, you know, they're like you said, they're in a hurry and they don't have time. You know, how do we account for that? Well, oddly, I think one of the things that people try to do to account for it is over explain.

You know, I only have this much time with you, so I really need to make the most of it. I'm going to talk faster and milk harder and I'm going to give you everything that you need in this one shot because this is the only time we have. And that is the complete opposite to the way to do it. So the way to, you know, maximize it is to shorten the phrases, plan ahead where you can, shorten the phrases and create a little bit of space because people need time to really digest and form their question.

So oftentimes I'll see people quickly issuing orders, direction, information, and they don't have enough time left in the agenda or the meeting or whatever it happens to be for the back and forth. So they've disseminated information that really hasn't turned into knowledge or instruction because they're quickly moving off to the next thing without giving people a chance to really take it in and ask questions to clarify. Your concept would be perfect for salespeople.

Do you get a lot of salespeople that deal with? I work a lot with salespeople, and I have done a lot of sales work. And that's always the challenge for a salesperson to work that muscle, using the questions and letting the client lead the meeting as opposed to the salesperson. We all have a goal in mind, and the same would be true in a conversation. I have a place I want to get.

But I was just working with a manager who said that her technique was to meet with their employees and ask them what they want to improve. And she just let them keep going and would nod and ask another clarifying question. And she said, I never had to give feedback anymore because by the time I stopped talking, they were already coming to me with everything that I would have otherwise put in a performance review.

And I think the same thing happens in sales. If you give people enough space to say what they're looking for and asking for, suddenly you're solving the problem. You're not selling. Right. You're not cramming things down their throat, so to speak. Right. Now, how do you respond to the challenge people may pose that being brief will be overly direct or abrupt? Yeah. I, you know, I work a lot with women in my coaching work and that is probably

their number one concern consistently. Well, I can't say it that directly. And so. The It's a Wrap with Wrap podcast is so fortunate to have Australian author, artist, illustrator, happiness coach, and international speaker, Andrew Matthews, as a sponsor and supporter. Andrew's books, including Being Happy, Follow Your Heart, and Bouncing Back, have sold over 8 million copies in 48 languages in 70 countries. Happiness and success are made clear and simple in his writings.

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The challenge is that oftentimes to soften the message, there's these long preliminaries that the audience has already got. Short attention span, white noise, we're already moving on. And the kindest thing you can be to yourself and to others is really clear in your point of view.

So this is where going back to what you were saying ron about the sincerity of the approach the tone of the approach I have an idea I want to help these simple straightforward comments get you immediately into the conversation and keep people readily engaged so direct is kind end. If delivered with the right tongue. Gotcha. Gotcha.

So what situations, Tucker, come to your mind that are common out there to start a conversation that are of importance? Well, I'm going to talk for a minute about leaders because I think that's key. And all of us have some experience of being in the work world, whether it's supporting our kids who are starting out in the work world, our own experience, but work is out there.

And so one place to start is what are the four primary conversations we need to have with each other in order to work successfully? So performance. Are we talking about performance in a clear way? What is it that I expect? What do I not accept? Oftentimes, we give people a job or a job description and we're still not entirely clear what's the quality of performance that's expected. And the same goes for conduct as well.

So conduct, feedback, and support. What does support look like and what support can I provide? So those are four key areas to start. But I also talk in the book about conversations that may come up in a family gathering, you know, and what are the unwritten and ground rules for how we engage with each other that maybe we want to be a little bit more intentional and conscious of. Yeah. Do we smoke at the dinner table? Yeah.

We might assume that everybody knows what the rule is, but you have people coming in and out of your family gatherings where getting a little bit more clarity might help everyone. Yeah, we're going to get into that. You know, another one that I would think would be maybe talking to the teacher or principal if your child's getting bullied. I mean, that's a tough conversation. It is very tough. You just hit a personal nerve for me.

So I've been there and I've had a high-risk kid that I was working with. And so any kind of advocacy, that's where that brevity and clarity is so important. And you have to remember, too, in those kinds of situations, people are documenting those conversations. So the clearer you are and the more consistent you are, the better the documentation. And ultimately, that can help with some of that advocacy.

Okay. I want to get into the arena of conflict. I want you to tell us a little bit about the four-word concept helping us resolving conflicts. I want to give you an example. We go out to dinner and I order a nice steak dinner and my wife orders a fish dinner. but maybe she wants, she doesn't want this on it or that on it. You know, you know how these people can be with the allergies and all that stuff. Yeah. And the server comes and, you know, they mess, they mess up her meal. And.

Talk about that, about conflict like that. So the first thing I want to emphasize, because the situations are going to be very specific, particularly when we're talking about conflict, is the four words is a concept. It's a challenge to have the conversation, to make it simple. So oftentimes people say, what are the four words that will work in a conflict? What are the four words that are going to work here and there?

And it's not that you're having a scripted conversation, but that you're challenging yourself to stay in it and have the thing that you want. So the first thing is, you know, really stand for what you want, ask for what you want. And when you're not getting the thing that you want, you can suffer in silence or you can be more clear about what you want. Oftentimes I'll start with, I must not have been clear.

And that's more than four words but i apparently wasn't clear there that's four let me be clear now so you're taking the onus that i need on the waiter yeah because nobody wants to send their food back well i want to depersonalize it as much as possible because then everybody's defenses come down my voice comes down i'm not attacking i'm not being heard that way but i think when you can say let's start over here you know let let's this isn't what i asked for and just starting with that apologies

if i wasn't clear here's what i need and how do we move forward and that becomes. A mistake was made let's fix it we can do better yeah so we don't want to be yelling at the waiter and carrying on, that's not going to get us new. No, asking to talk to the manager, pulling out the Yelp reviews, none of that de-escalates. And asking, Unless you de-escalate the situation, it's all about emotions. And I frequently coach my clients to look at the expressed emotion and then just help it pass.

You know, just be the healer in the room, help the emotion pass so that we can really solve the problem. Keep your eye on the problem you want solved. Now, networking events are nearly as varied as the people who attend them, as we know. It can be anything from a casual meetup to a formal gathering. Now, these gatherings are filled with opportunity, but many people have a love-hate relationship with them, I understand.

What scares people about networking, and what tips do you have for the audience to improve their outlook on networking? One of the things that scares people is that they're going to be trapped in a room with people just yammering away at them, telling them all about their business, and you're just stuck. Having to absorb it. And so having an intriguing question to get it started, just to kind of get them to rethink it is a little bit. So very often we'll ask, what do you do? And then get ready.

You're going to hear about 20 minutes of what they do. But what surprises you in your work? That's more than four words. But if you start to think about what's the thing that I can ask that It kind of disrupts the habitual elevator speech that's way too long. Those things can be really helpful and they can be really surprising. So I just, I wasn't intending to do networking, but I was actually on a plane plane.

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And we started talking for the next two and a half hours, and we covered so many things, it was crazy. But it's finding the place of commonality, something that, I mean, I like your shoes. It's not all that interesting. I'm not necessarily suggesting it. But after we talked for two and a half hours, I was asking myself, how did we get here? How did this whole conversation even start? Because it was just so amazing. And it was something as simple as that. So that was a great speaker.

What did you like about the presentation? You know, finding those things that give you a common ground really quickly can also be really fun. Yeah.

I bet you've had some interesting conversations just with strangers on airplanes. I have. And I know you read the book. I did read the book, yes. When I was writing the book, I started thinking about, I used to travel 70% of the time. And so a lot of my office time was 50,000 feet in the air. And it was so funny to me how easy it was to start a conversation. I think networking and plane rides are pretty similar. Everyone's like, oh, no, I've got to look busy so no one will talk to me.

I don't want to be trapped here and have to hear everybody's story. But, you know, when you find a place of commonality, it's surprising sometimes the connections that you can make. So commonality is the key word. I would think so. Yeah. Now let's move on. Everybody's going to love this.

The words family gatherings spark different images and memories for people. So even the happiest occasions, such as a birthday, housewarming, can be derailed by unguarded comments that hit hard in the moment and remain long remembered after the party is over. I think we all have had that experience. How can the four-phrase approach play into that scenario?

This is one where it gets kind of touchy because this is that place where loving loving environment is critical but sometimes you have to be really direct so with my folks i just had to go to the stop talking about dying it was so disruptive for my kids to constantly hear grandma and grandpa talking about it.

And I'm not used to talking to my parents that directly, but some of those ingrained habits of interaction that show up in family, particularly when you're looking to change them, need a little bit more of a direct thing.

And so I would say, stop talking about dying your grandchildren love you they want to have you and you know adding a little bit more context can make the difference but it was really being more disruptive initially that got their attention i said this upsets your grandchildren they're scared when you talk about it and so So that's what there's any number of ones that could be said that can be very disruptive, but having a ready set of responses of wouldn't grandma love this?

Wouldn't Joe have been thrilled to see this? Or, you know, there's a lot of positives that you can have ready. And we can always trust that people, even family members, will show up on brand. And so we already know before the family gathering what's going to happen. I was just talking with a client of mine today, and she said it was over Thanksgiving dinner last fall that her father-in-law announced that he had lung cancer. And it was right in the middle of the meal.

And it's pretty hard to know how to move forward. Do we use humor? Do we bring out a pie? What do we do? So timing is everything, but knowing the room, knowing what's allowed can really make a difference.

Okay. Now your four-word phrase approach also touches on the subject of compassionately responding to hardships, setbacks, and grief, deepening understanding and connection. So what not to say is also covered in the book. Tucker, are there instances when conversations should be just avoided or aborted?

Well, that's a timely question now. I mean, it's pretty hard to talk about politics right now without creating some kind of friction or tension just because we're all dealing with What do we think about this and what does it mean for us and how does that affect? And we may or may not make incorrect assumptions about the things that we hold in common. So there are a few things that we can pretty much know, whether it's politics, sex, or religion.

Those are going to be ones where high levels of trust before we enter that conversation make all the difference in how well it's going to go. So, you know, proceed with passion in certain situations for sure. Absolutely. I can imagine some people are just curious.

Talking having a great time and then somehow the subject could turn into politics and somebody says you know one wrong thing and boom that first steps over absolutely and right now it's a minefield that's a mine minefield and the category of minefields that we have right now in the world are broad. You know, even talking about travel becomes very complicated. So, you know, just being mindful of the circumstances and, and not making too many assumptions, you know, being careful of that.

But it also is a good reminder to be ready with a quick apology. I'm sorry. I didn't know. Yeah. You know, absolutely.

Now, can you give us an example of how someone has adopted your approach and found it to be helpful. Yes. In fact, I was working with 60 leaders over the weekend who were working on these very things. And one of the things that had come up is just consistently avoiding key conversations about performance. What are the performance expectations? And I also have this happen with senior leaders. Like everyone just knows how to behave, right? Just do what's right.

And increasingly, when you think about the complexity of four or five generations in a single workforce, what's right for one generation is perhaps different in iteration than it is for another. And I'm not saying one's right or wrong. And a good example of that would be on an airplane. Yeah, absolutely. On an airplane, on a work site, on a Zoom call. I mean, it's everywhere. It's over the dinner table, you know, and we just assume that everyone knows how to behave.

So in working with one particular client, I love this story. She said, I just made my boss really mad and now I'm in trouble. And I said, the new boss that you have only had for two weeks? And she said, yes. And I said, and this is like the nicest person I've ever worked with. And I said, in two weeks, you've said something that made her mad. She said, yeah. And I said, how do you know you made her mad? She said, I sent something at a meeting and I saw the expression on her face.

I said, now let me understand this. in two weeks of barely knowing her, you could read her thoughts when you saw a particular expression on her face. She goes, yeah. I said, does that make sense to you? Could it be that she just had a bad shrimp lunch or something like that, that it just wasn't working? She said, well, it's possible, but I'm pretty sure I made her mad. I said, well, what happens when you feel that way?

And she says, well, then I know that I'm supposed to be quiet and not say anything. And I said, I wouldn't be working with you if your client or if your company, your leadership, hadn't asked me to support you in showing up more of yourself, not pulling back and being more quiet. Would you be willing to have the conversation with your boss to ask her what she was thinking?

So we worked on some easy forward phrases to just inquire to give her some confidence to go have the conversation and when she came back i said was your boss mad at you she said no not at all she was actually thinking about the idea that i had shared and she wasn't angry at all and i said just think what a loss it would have been to you your boss and your company to have just allowed your narrative to become the truth with a capital T.

And it's the willingness to experiment with new ideas, but also to investigate what we think we know is true that makes all the difference.

And that was game changing for their relationship. Yeah. I mean, that poor girl could have had so much anxiety over that, lost sleep over it. My boss hates me. She's never liked me. Yeah. And, and it was all a made up story. Now, I think you kind of covered this briefly, but I'll ask it again. As we think about applying this approach, are there four-word phrases you've seen people use that don't work well? Yeah. Give us some examples. Yeah. So that over my dead body. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not my job. And this is also the place that people start to get really clever. And this is where they want to double down and go to two words. Well, you know, I'm an overachiever. I'm going to go to this. And there are forward phrases that don't work. I want to be the first to say is not a magic bullet. But at the same time, it gives you enough ramp to engage with the person but not speak too much. But I had a client who had the opposite problem.

And she was from New York. And she'd married a Midwesterner. And she said, my husband and I keep getting into an argument over and over and over.

And she said it varies the topic of it but what happens is he'll ask me a question and i say yeah or i say no and she says and then he's asking me all these questions afterwards and i said i understand that your yes and your no are very clear to you but is it possible that your brevity is so short, he's not convinced that you really made a connection or that he's satisfied that you understand what he's asking. And she said, well, that's possible. I mean, that is my preference to be short.

But I said, would you be willing to just give it a few more? Are you struggling to start difficult conversations at the workplace, at a social gathering, perhaps just out casually in public or even in the home setting. Leadership coach and attorney Tucker Miller has drawn from decades of experience helping executives, teams, and families the ability to teach how to communicate with clarity and compassion to others.

Her book titled The First Four Words will reveal to you how just four thoughtfully chosen words can spark transformative dialogues. Tucker mixes research, real-world examples, and actionable phrases tailored to any relationship quandary or communication style. Whether you are an introvert facing a networking event, a manager delivering constructive feedback, or a parent smoothing family tension, the first four words will equip you to initiate discussions with ease.

Reading the book, you will learn the common excuses we use to shy away from crucial conversations and how to get out of your own way. Discover the four essential talks leaders must have with their teams. Dissect the behaviors that build trust. Access four-word prompts to reach consensus amidst conflict. Learn how to offer encouragement, navigate gatherings, respond to grief, and much more. Brimming with empathy, wisdom, and a dash of humor, the first four words makes communication accessible.

Tucker Miller stresses that brevity and courage are the keys to understanding.

The book will empower you to transform the conversations you avoid into opportunities to solve problems, deepen relationships, and create the life you want. Wherever you are at the moment, you can speak up skillfully by starting simple. The book is not just a book. It is a roadmap for those who understand that the key to success lies in the subtle nuances of conversation.

For all those eager to elevate their communication game and make a lasting impact both professionally and personally, prepare to be inspired, enlightened, and equipped with the tools to unlock the true potential of your words. The book, The First Four Words, is available in paperback and Kindle format from Amazon.

Words just to give them a little bit more context so that maybe you find out using a few more words actually makes for a faster more efficient exchange she said well i'll try it so she came back and it turns out when she answered more fully that's a great idea yeah they were having far fewer arguments since she said i find myself just walking around counting a lot making sure that i give them just a little bit more and she said we are getting things done faster but

my short and efficient turned out not to be efficient at all it was causing conflict not solving it yeah and getting back to tone i think uh i think the nicest people sometimes just don't use the right tone and you know you can be with somebody and like take the restaurant For example. The server may ask a question and somebody comes back with just kind of a semi-harsh tone. It just sets everything negatively. Yeah. I think tones are real.

Tone is hard, and apparently, according to my husband, I sometimes have a tone problem. And I disagreed with it until I heard it in my children, and they sometimes have a tone problem that sounds a lot like mine. So I'm starting to see it. And I think a lot of times we don't know that. I don't think there's necessarily any intention whatsoever, and there certainly wasn't with my client from New York.

There wasn't a tone intention, but absent that feedback or even just the self-awareness to check, do I like the results I'm getting? Because if I don't like the results I'm getting and I keep getting them over and over, the first place we need to look is what's happening. So it's asking for some feedback. I think I'm saying this, how is it coming across? Yeah, exactly. Because I'll be with somebody and, you know, I'll say, that's kind of a harsh tone, you know, you gave that person.

Really? I didn't think so. You know, they just. Yeah. And they may say you're wrong because that wasn't my intention. But, you know, the measure is the impact. So let's look at the impact. Yeah.

Now, what do you recommend if this four phrase approach just isn't working for some reason? And is there something else people can try? You know, sometimes we, we hear an approach and we just, there's some of us out there are big, big time rule followers. And we feel like we're failing. If I keep using forwards, that's not working. Right. And it's like. It's five or six or seven. Who really cares? It's just a concept. If you're already committed to having the conversation, job done.

Just keep leaning in and trust that you'll be better and further ahead for having the conversation, asking for what you want, offering the help that you have, supporting your neighbor who's going through a difficult time. That's really the success. So don't beat yourself up if it's more than four words. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a strict rule.

Now, outside of buying the book, which I recommend for everybody, by the way, and listening to this podcast, what are other ways people can learn more about your revolutionary approach to starting conversations? Well, I post regularly on LinkedIn, so I encourage people to reach out and connect with me there. LinkedIn. I have a website, onwardleadership.com, and I'm also available at jtuckermiller.com. And I'm constantly looking for opportunities to meet with teams and speak with

audiences. So if they're interested in wanting to hear more, learn more, I'd love to hear from them. So when you do your speaking engagements, is that live and virtual? Live and virtual. And I usually choose one or the other. The hybrid is tricky, but I can do it. But I love giving workshops and do workshops on the first four words.

Okay. Now, what would you hope people take away from reading your book and listening to this podcast on the subject of your first four-word approach, starting conversations with ease and confidence?

What would you like them to take away? The first thing is an understanding of. Of what are the conversations that you consistently aren't having that might make your life better if you gave it a shot. You know, when you start to think about, are there conversations that I routinely avoid?

There's often some patterns there. And the question I pose to my clients, and I will pose to your audience, is, what if everything that you want to have happen in your life is just on the other side of a conversation?

What are you denying yourself by not having the conversation and what's the stories that you create so if i can inspire people and provide some very practical examples of how to have those conversations and what could be available wouldn't that be amazing yeah one conversation can significantly change the trajectory of your life i'm having a baby we're moving to australia I just got promoted.

All those are forward phrases that when you think about the power of what you could achieve by just having a conversation that moves you forward in life, if I inspire anyone to do it, job done. If I can give you some specific examples in my book, I'm happy to do that too. Yeah. And I will say, I guarantee you that there's people out there listening to this that probably for years have never had that conversation. They wanted to, but they never had it.

And, you know, reading that book can really open up some doors. I want to thank you so much for being on the podcast. I read the book. I found it very well written, informative, and have started using the techniques myself. And I have found them to work very well, enhancing my conversations. Now, for anyone out there who thinks this book could help them, buy the book. I recommend buying the book. I believe you won't be disappointed. And once again, Tucker, what is the name of that book?

The first four words. The first four words. Okay. You want to hear what the next book is going to be called? There's another book coming out? I didn't think there was, but it's already come to mind. Okay. Your next four words. Your next four words. Yeah. And this is for real. This is coming out. I'm mulling it over. I'm drafting it right now. Okay. So more to come. There's a lot to think about when you write that, when you write these kind of books, I can imagine. Yeah.

It takes a lot of time. It comes out here. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, anybody who has comments and suggestions for the podcast, you can email me at itsarapwithrap at gmail.com. Our Facebook group is It's A Rap With Rap. It's a private group, and we have about 2,000 people in there. If you want to get in the group, email me. I'll get you in.

We're on Instagram. It's a rap with rap podcast. We're on Twitter or X as it's known now At rapper, W-R-A-P-P-E-R-1-3-0 Our website is itsarapwithrap.com And we also have the book nook on there Where all our guests who have written awesome books Have it on there And our YouTube channel is It's a Rap with Rap, the podcast uncut I want to thank everyone for listening or viewing And I want everybody to please stay safe And for now, it's a wrap.

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