Stretch Marks, Embrace the Lines: Stretching You Beyond Your Comfort Zone.

Single mom thing , not letting the single thing stop us . Today we are diving headfirst , making a big splash into a topic that's all too familiar to many of us ladies , and that is our stretch marks . Now , I know we like to cover these babies up , but today I'm going to challenge us and this includes myself to do something a little different .

Are you with me ? So , for today , what if we started to look at those little lines more as lines in a bigger story ? What if , instead of viewing them as a source of insecurity as we try to look good in our swimsuits , what if , instead , they suited us up with confidence as we rock them , as they were a testament to our journey and growth ?

I don't know whether they came from pregnancy , weight changes or simply just life itself . What if we viewed them as a part of ourself , and a part of ourself that makes us unique .

So in this episode , we are not only going to flip the script on how we view stretch marks , but we are going to use them to stretch us even further , and I'm talking about going beyond our comfort zones .

I will be sharing some empowering stories , some laughs and plenty of insights on how to embrace every mark as a milestone , a line of strength and an opportunity to continue to go way beyond yourself . So grab a cup of coffee , get comfortable and let's embrace the beauty and power found in stretch marks . Let's do this Embrace , don't erase the lines .

Like many of you listening , I have spent a lot of time , money and products trying to erase my stretch marks . In fact , I'll go as far as saying , as others have tried to prepare and prevent these too . Think about it . What is the one gift that is included in almost every gift at a baby shower for the expecting mother ?

A lotion or cream to treat , tighten or prevent belly or hip stretch marks ? Am I right ? This cream was passed down to me like kids hand-me-down clothes A cream to remove what every mother before me didn't want me to have or struggle with as they did Stretch marks . Like it was , like a rite of passage , a torch of torture , in my opinion .

But let's be honest here . I know they meant well and it was , and still is , one of the many traditional baby shower gifts a new mom receives . But do they really work ? I mean , from my experience , they may diminish or lighten the lines , but listen the lines . They don't lie , they are still there .

But isn't it funny , this notion that we should get rid of them ? Some of my most prominent stretch marks I have are now memories of some really incredible and incredibly challenging moments in my life , and they tell the story of where I've been and what I've grown beyond .

There is no product company out there that is going to sell you that because , well , quite honestly , they wouldn't have anything to sell , right ? So we've been sold quote unquote , on this packaging that there is something wrong with our packaging if it includes these little lines . So should we try to get rid of them ?

But here's what I know about stretch marks , and it comes by the way of a really bad mom joke Just saying so here we go . Why don't stretch marks ever get lost ? Because they always know how to find their way back to you . Okay , I know that was bad , but it does make light of the thing we should be .

I don't know , maybe we should lighten up on Turning shouldn'ts into shoulds , the stretch marks of growth . So being a single mom is no joke . I think if there is anything that has really , really stretched me beyond my self-limiting beliefs , it was being a single mom , although while I was in it I didn't view it that way .

Much like the new visible lines that are showing up on my face as I age , I wanted to make all the struggles to go away . Are you there right now ? Do I feel you ? Well , of course I do , because I was you . But what if I could teach you what took me decades to learn into days for you , so you don't have to go through everything I went through ?

Think of it , I don't know , kind of like those hand-me-down clothes or even that cream . But this one comes with a guarantee that this will work for you . One of the things that I learned , oh , in about the first 10 years of my single mom season , was to turn my shouldn'ts into shoulds . Now , listen , I am not going to try to should you ?

Would you coulda on something here ? Okay , but be honest with yourself . When I said that phrase did it kind of ding you right there in your gut . Listen , I'm going to tell you a secret married folks struggle with this too . It's not just a single mom thing , it is a human thing . So , listen , the struggle is real and it is real for all of us .

So right now , I am going to take that single mom excuse away . And so what do I mean about shouldn'ts and the shoulds ? I mean those moments when an opportunity or even an obstacle presents itself to you and you think to yourself nah , I shouldn't . I really want to , though , but I shouldn't . I shouldn't ask for help . I shouldn't take time for myself .

No , can't do that . I shouldn't dream too big . I shouldn't take risk . No , no , it's wrong . I shouldn't prioritize my needs over my kiddos . Ooh , did some of y'all feel this thing on that one ? I shouldn't let others see my struggles . Nope , nope , nope . And I shouldn't rely on anyone else . Ah , who am I fooling ?

I shouldn't even believe that I can succeed on my own . Now , if I'm honest , that is a one big stretch mark for me there . I said that one over and over . So do any of those sound familiar to you ? How to make your reasons , not to your reasons to .

So let's explore the five reasons why we do this so we can stretch ourselves beyond our reasons and really go for it . Number one fear of judgment . Worrying about being judged by others for your choices or perceived shortcomings .

Have you ever had the experience , like me , that when you started doing something new for yourself , the people closest to you thought you were a little cray cray ? Do you find that they would start asking you things like hey , what's that new thing you're doing ? Why are you doing that anyways ? Do you think that will really will work ? Or you're a single mom ?

You can't do that Kind of like they're looking down on you because you already made one big mistake that led you to now being a single parent , even if they never said that to you to your face .

But some of the peeps closest to you maybe they just give you those kind of vibes , or even , on the contrary , maybe it's even you telling yourself those very things . Number two guilt . You often feel guilty about taking time for yourself or pursuing your personal goals , believing you should always prioritize your kiddos first .

I'm sure if you have ever ridden on an airplane , you have heard , even if you are half listening to , the flight attendant who demonstrates how you put the air mask on you first should something go wrong . Then , once that is properly in place , you do what you put it on your kids . Number three low self-esteem . Any of you struggle with self-doubt .

How about feelings of unworthiness of listen to this , unworthiness of success , happiness or support ? Now , in the episode prior to this one and the several ones prior to that one , I think we kind of debunked that junk . The success is impossible , but maybe some of you listening well , like I kind of once did have thoughts that you don't deserve it .

For those listening who have a faith , like mine , do you know that depression is a sin ? I remember the first time I heard this , I was completely shocked because my feelings were anything but prideful like I thought prideful was . My feelings were anything but prideful like I thought prideful was , but they were .

If I think about it , they really were all about myself , even if they were paired with low self-esteem , you see , because all I focused on was myself , myself and what's wrong with myself , and not the one who freed me from myself . Hmm . Number four societal expectations . And not the one who freed me from myself .

Number four societal expectations , societal norms and stereotypes they can pressure a single mom to conform to certain roles and limit their ambitions . There is this thought that we are less than because we are a you and not a two . If I'm not mistaken , one is a whole number and five .

Fear of failure , the fear of failing can be paralyzing , leading us actually to avoiding taking risks or even trying new things . Now , this one I totally get , as I grew up with some worry words in my family that left an impression on me .

Listen , there are going to be times for all of us and I say all of us , I mean every human being when things don't work out . Do you know anybody , name one , who everything has worked out for them ? No , of course not . Has worked out for them ? No , of course not .

Now , on social , they may present it that way , but not one person on this planet hasn't failed at something . Actually , the biggest failure , you know what that is Not doing something , letting your shouldn'ts be more than your shoulds . Now , as a single parent , yes , you do have to mitigate your risk .

I am not denying that at all , but not to the point where they stop you from stretching yourself . What happens to a rubber band that never gets used ? You know it dries up , it loses its elasticity and it no longer can be used . Right , let me tell you about two shouldn'ts I turned into shoulds .

That stretched me like a rubber band and left me with some really good stretch marks . Number one as a single mom , twice I leaped from a job with some really good job security . The first job . Let me tell you about this one . This first one came with a marginal salary , no unemployment benefits , very little annual raises , no opportunity for promotion .

But it did come with a student discount for my son to go to school there and it did come with some ample vacation time . If I'm honest , at first , before I leaped , I freaked out because things were going to be tight on that marginal salary . Do you know what I said to myself ? I shouldn't take it .

I thought to myself over and over as I tried to justify all my excuses . You know , I did end up taking that job and I stayed there for 10 years , accrued five weeks of vacation which I used every time my son was on vacation from school and during COVID , when we were closed for three months , they still paid my full time salary and my benefits .

That's a word up and my benefits . That's a word up . And my second job . While again still being a single parent , I was offered another great job . I would lose my student discount if I did take this job , and I would have to pay more for my health insurance . And well , I would have less vacation too .

And here's the other catcher about the job I would have to be a part of the raising of the funds for my salary , as it was with a nonprofit . Huge , ginormous fear . Why on earth would a single mom take a job where she had to raise her own salary ? No , I want the sure thing . I should stay at my other job , right ?

I mean , well , my son goes to school there , all my friends are there , right ? Well then , I just need to shut this microphone off right now and I just need to leave .

Because , you guessed it , that job is the one that employs me now and has for the past three years , and allows me to encourage you Within one month of me taking this job , I got a raise , oh , and someone offered to pay for that student discount so I could keep my son at the school where he had formed lifelong friendships and at a school where the people I

considered family watched over him while I worked somewhere else to bless you and myself . And let's see the second should , oh . This last should oh , I remember this one too . This was another major stretch mark moment .

It was the time that I had to leave the residential program that I was living in at Shepherd's Village , and while I lived there , although I did have to pay rent , it was very affordable . Now , having to move back out into the world of rent or not rent , I came across this town home .

That was exactly the home that I had been praying for for my son and I for years . But here's the kicker I was still working in that one job that I told you about . I worked for 10 years , making marginal salary .

I had never planned that I would be able to be blessed with such a townhome , but also a townhome that I didn't plan on spending that much money on either . It was a huge stretch for me to pay what they were asking , and it was going to cut into my budget . I shouldn't , I should . I've been praying for it . No , I shouldn't , I can't afford this .

No , this is just going to stretch me way too much . Does that sound like some of the conversations you have in your head ? Well , obviously you guessed it , I turned it into a should . But here's what's really cool about that should . After living here in my townhome for five years , the housing crisis hit and rent raised to the unreasonable .

Well , pretty much everywhere in the United States , but particularly in the county that I live in , my landlord held out for one year from raising my rent .

Eventually they did have to raise it , some to cover their new increases and their associated costs , but it would not be tripled like the others around me , forcing many to live in the streets on park benches or even in their cars .

It was again going to be another stretch for me to have to pay that increased rent , but it blessed me with a home for my son and I . If I never stretched myself beyond my shouldn'ts or reasons not to , I tend to think that my life would look very different than it does now .

In fact , it might look similar to the familiar past , as I would keep doing the last thing I kept on doing in my past talking myself right out of an opportunity to stretch myself . Stretch into a bigger dream . So what do you have to do to stretch into a bigger dream , to step out beyond your shouldn't , your comfort zone .

If you continue to live in your head , have you ever heard the expression ? You're going to be dead . You see , the key is is that you have to take uncomfortable action . You need to be okay with getting a little stretch mark here and there . So here is something that you can do to start small , taking baby steps that I like to say , make big dreams .

There's this great app that I have found , and I just love its name Fabulous . Well , what girl does not want to be fabulous ? And I'm pretty sure it's free . So you know that's for me . But here's what you can do with this . Check this out . You can one set up daily challenges , choose or create daily challenges .

I don't know that align with maybe some of your personal growth goals . For example , introduce yourself to someone new today . Spend 10 minutes working on a new skill , speak up in a meeting or class . Something else you can do , then , is you can log and reflect that . How did it feel ? How did that come about ?

What did I learn , did I fail and how am I going to fail forward ? It has a rewards and accountability feature . You can earn rewards for completing challenges , share progress with a buddy or in app community for support and encouragement .

You could do a simple challenge and that's what it's called simple challenge and let's say you could do something as simple as smile and say hello to three people . Today you can even go a moderate challenge .

You can share an idea in a group setting or meeting or , if you're ready for those advanced challenges , you can apply for a job or an opportunity that feels slightly out of reach . Maybe even find a friend or career coach who can do a mock interview with you , tweak your resume , help you get dressed for success , help you remarket and rebrand yourself .

You see , what's so great about this app is I'm buying it and it is so single mom friendly . You can even create a daily planner to help you with your time so you can spend it wisely . So , as I close , I want to thank you first of all for being here today on it's a Single Mom Thing and for stretching some things out today .

Today , we talked about embracing , not erasing our stretch marks and turning our shouldn'ts into shoulds , remembering that every line tells a story of strength , resilience and growth . As single moms , we often face doubts and societal pressures , but it is important to challenge these limiting beliefs and step out of our comfort zones .

Girl , you are stronger than you know and you are more capable than you realize . Each small step beyond your comfort zone is a victory , and a victory that is worth celebrating . You need to celebrate those . Those are your successes . So let's continue to embrace our unique journeys , support one another and turn our dreams into a reality .

Stay tuned for more episodes where we share stories , strategies and support to help you thrive . Until next time , remember you're not alone and you are amazing as you are . Keep stretching and growing and let's transform our shouldn'ts into shoulds . Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you .

Thanks for listening . It's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you . Thanks for listening to . It's a Single Mom Thing . I hope you enjoyed our time together . If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer , visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom . Backslash prayer For more information and resources .

Check out our show notes .