Finding Your Tribe: Why Every Single Mom Needs A Village

So buckle up , because we're cutting straight to the point . You see , god didn't design us to do life alone , and when you're a single mom , your village is more than just a nice to have . It's a survival necessity . Forgive me , I got a little cold so I said that funny necessity . But let's be real . Where do you even find your people ?

How do you build a tribe that actually supports you , your powwow and doesn't just drain you ? Welcome to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing . So in this episode , ladies , we are going to be talking about why single moms need a group of village peeps and what happens when you don't have one . The difference between community and chaos .

Finding the right peeps , where to meet your tribe , even if you , girl , are an introvert . How to nurture healthy relationships that support , not drain you and , finally , how faith connects you to the right people at the right time . So , girls , roll up your sleeves . We have a lot of work to do . Grab your Thriving 25 journal and let's get busy .

So why does every single mom need a village ? Well , the hard truth is trying to do this alone , if you haven't figured it out already , will leave you burnt out , overwhelmed and isolated . Been there , done that . Like me , have you had a few people around you that were close to you , that hurt you ? And well , you figured .

Why should I let anybody else get close to me again ? I'm not about to get hurt . Well , what happens when we don't have a village ? Well , number one we ain't going to have any emotional support . You girl , like me , are going to be carrying every burden alone . Well , I used to , and , let's be honest , your toddler isn't exactly the best therapist .

Two no practical help . Well , now you are the sole cook , chauffeur , tutor , nurse and financial provider , and those are just a few of the things that happen in a 24-hour day . Number three no accountability . Who's there to encourage you , check in on you and call you higher girl ? Number four mom , guilt on steroids .

You feel like you're failing when the girl you might just be exhausted . See , listen , sis . Single parenting , you know , is already hard Doing it without support . That's survival mode , not thriving mode . And we don't want to live one flush away going down the toilet bowl , do we ? We want to flourish . So here is keeping it real .

Even Jesus had a motley crew . You see , jesus didn't do life alone . He had his 12 disciples , because even the savior of the world knew community mattered . Ever thought about that ? He says in his word you will have trouble . In John 16 , 33 , he says that . So why would you want to go alone , girl , if Jesus himself built a village ?

What makes you think you can do this mom , life solo mio . And here's a scriptural truth drop . And we will find that in Ecclesiastes 4 , 9 through 10 . And it says two are better than one . If either of them falls down , one can help the other up . Them falls down , one can help the other up .

You see , a village lifts you when you're weak , celebrates you when you'll win and reminds you you are never alone . I remember when I was going through my single mom thing , I had this neighbor friend who made what she called miracle soup when the solo mamas nearby were down with the sickness . Oh , I could use some of that . Now , on the flip side .

When life happened to her and it did often as she was raising three teenage girls there was someone always there to take her girls shopping when she needed a break , or a woman to walk and talk the nearby bridge with her . So are you still convinced , or think you don't need a village ? Well , let's check out some facts here .

Studies show that single moms with strong support networks report higher levels of happiness , low stress and better mental health . Moms who have a strong faith community are more resilient , have better coping strategies and feel less isolated . And well , guess what ? Your kids benefit too Children with strong community support , such as mentors , friends or church families .

Well , they are also more confident , emotionally secure and better equipped for the future . How about that Translation ? A healthy , supported mom equals a thriving child . Your village isn't just for you , girl , it's for them too . And everybody knows . When mama's happy , what ? Say it with me real loud in your car Everybody's happy , right ? You see you , mama .

You set the tone and the groans for your familia . So here's where you're going to get your journal out . Don't forget to date it , and across the top of the page I want you to write this what areas of my life feel the hardest right now , and who could I reach out to for support ?

All right , now that we know why you need a village , let's talk about something just as important , and that's finding the right people , because , listen , not everyone deserves a seat at your table . So before we uncover who should get an invitation to your dinner table , let's first discover who should not .

The red flags and cracks in support systems that drain you instead of helping you . Number one you do not want to invite the drama magnet , and that's a person who's always in chaos , never uplifting , and somehow their problems always become yours . Number two the taker . Well , that person only comes around when they need something , but disappear when you need help .

I've been there . Number three the gossip girl . Oh , she talks about everyone , so you know she's talking about you too , boo . And number four the energy vampire . You feel drained , not encouraged , after every conversation with her . Funny how that happens . And what number am I on ? Am I on four or five , I don't know .

It is the fake helper and she pretends to care but secretly enjoys seeing you struggle . Oh , don't want her at my table . So does anyone listening have some of these peeps in their life ? If so you need to pull out the chair from under your table and have them go eat somewhere else . But then who should you welcome as a guest at your table ?

Well , here's who needs a seat at your table , and that would be the encourager she speaks life over you when you're struggling . The helper she shows up when you need a real practical help . The truth teller Well , she loves you enough to be honest . And , girl , you need to love her back , even when she tells you the truth which may hurt .

And the prayer warrior who , man , I love me . The prayer warrior because she covers you and your kids and faith . And , lastly , the other person you want at your dinner table is the accountability partner . And this person , this girl , is going to challenge you to grow , not settle like dust .

So here is another scripture drop , and we're going to find that in Proverbs 27 , 17 . As iron sharpens iron , so one person sharpens another , like I like to say , just like knives at your dinner table . So , mama , your peace is precious and well , your kids are watching .

So , who you let in your life , well , you probably should choose wisely , and I'm going to take that a little step further . You see their future and your future will thank you , and what I mean by that is that your kids will one day be teens who learned both your good and some of your bad habits and choices .

So , said differently , what you do today will shape their tomorrow . So be sure you're certain of what potential future you want to show up . That's just a little pro tip from me to you , and I hope you got what I'm putting down . You see , because you , your family , you deserve a village that lifts you all up and not weighs you down .

Now , ok , hope you didn't put that journal away . You need to keep that book right back out , because here we go , we have some more work to do and this journal prompt . I want you to write on the next page , across the top , who in my life pours into me and who drains me , and also keep going .

How can I be more intentional about choosing my tribe Next up ? After that , when you're done with that , follow me back here and we're going to dive into where to find the right people because , let's be honest , making new friends as an adult , well , it is not as easy as it was when we were kids on the playground .

So here are some places to find support and community . May I suggest church groups that's women's ministry single moms groups , bible studies . Find a faith-filled circle that speaks life over you . Online communities , facebook groups , kind of like . It's a single mom thing with Shepherd's Village , where you can connect with moms , walk in the same journey .

Local nonprofits putting a plug in again for us , shepherd's Village and other local organizations that offer resources , support and , of course , sisterhood Mom meetups . That might be playdates , homeschool groups and local mom-friendly events . Volunteering , again , that's serving someone other than yourself , which is a great way to build meaningful , faith-centered friendships .

Moms from your kid's school and activities Strike up conversations with fellow moms at drop-offs , sport events or PTA meetings . And , lastly , support groups . With a caution here While connecting with others facing similar challenges can be helpful , be mindful Just because someone understands your struggle doesn't mean they have habits that will help you heal .

So choose wisely is my caution for you . Listen , sometimes your village isn't handed to you . You have to step out and build it and sometimes pray for it . Well , a lot of times pray for it all the time and , yes , that might mean getting out of your comfort zone . But , girl , listen , your breakthrough is often on the other side of community .

So jot this question down in your journal . Where can I take a step this week to connect with other moms ? And that's definitely something that you could be praying about with Jesus and maybe even record something that he might suggest in your quiet time . Nurturing and strengthening your village All right , you found your people . Now what ?

Well , a strong village doesn't just happen . It's built with intention and care . So how to cultivate a thriving support system so you don't develop cracks in your own pipeline of support ? So , girl , listen , you need to be a giver , not just a taker . Show up for others the way you want them to show up for you . Set healthy boundaries .

Protect your peace by being clear on what you can give and what you can't give . Stay connected . A good village needs consistent check-ins . Don't ghost your people when life gets busy or you find a boyfriend . Pray for your people . A faith-filled village is one that prays together and stands in the gap for each other .

Invest in deep , meaningful relationships , not the surface level friendships , which are nice , but well , when life gets messy , you want the ones that you built , connections that can handle the real and raw moments . And here's our last scripture drop for the day , and that's Galatians 6.2 .

Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ . So in our last journal prompt of the day , I want you to reflect on how can I show up for someone in my village this week ? What intentional step can I take to strengthen my support system ?

Remember , mama , a strong village isn't just about finding the right people , it's about being the right person too . Let's build a community that loves , uplifts and grows together . So , as I close , I want to leave you with these final thoughts and a call to action for your week ahead .

And here's the bottom line and a friendly reminder that I'm going to repeat again you were never meant to do this alone . Building your village , it isn't just about finding the right people , it's about being the right person too , and you want to surround yourself with those who will sharpen , strengthen and support you , and you want to be that for someone else .

So , as our quick recap , you need a village . Well , because isolation isn't strength , it's survival mode , and we chose thrive mode this 25 year . Choose wisely . Not everyone deserves access to your life . Your tribe , it's out there , but you have to step out and find them . Strong villages , well , they're built on faith , friendships and showing up .

So here is my call to action . If you haven't joined the it's a Single Mom Thing Facebook group , I don't know why you haven't , but you need to go there . It's a place for connection , encouragement and faith-filled community . If you live in the Tampa Bay , well why are you not at a seat at our table ? Come to our next . It's a Single Mom Thing class .

Register at shepherdsvillagecom . Forward slash classes . Need prayer ? Call our 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY . Never miss an episode and an opportunity to do community with me . Like my solo mama who sent me a shout-out taking my voice with her on her road trip this week . Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts , spotify or iHeart Radio .

Ladies , it's time to stop surviving and start thriving . Your village it is waiting for you Now . You need to go find it . Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you .