Welcome to it's a Single Mom Thing , the show for single moms by single moms . This is Sherri , your host , and I am happy you are here today . Remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you .
Well , hello there , my beautiful warriors , and welcome back to another episode of it's a Single Mom Thing , where I keep it raw and real and refreshingly honest , especially during the holidays . Today , I'm serving up a little seasonal survival guide called Don't Drink the Eggnog Surviving the Holiday Drama .
Now , I'm not talking about the literal eggnog , although we will get to that . I'm talking about the drama-filled cocktail that comes with family gatherings , co-parenting conflicts and , yeah , those unsolicited life tips from people who think they know your best .
So , before you reach for that spiked nog or get tempted to stir the pot yourself , let's talk about how to keep your peace , protect your heart and maybe even enjoy this holiday season drama and trauma free . So grab your cocoa girl and let's do this . How to keep your cool through the cold family holiday drama .
All right , let's kick this off by acknowledging something we all know Family gatherings can be a lot . If you joined me back in November for our Thanksgiving episode called it's All Relative when it comes to the relatives . You already know the deal and the deal breakers . Consider this your holiday refresher on surviving those complicated family dynamics 2.0 .
The holidays have a funny way of bringing people together and not always peace on earth . Goodwill to all kind of way . Sometimes it's more like pass the rolls and potatoes , please , before this conversation gets too real . So here are some of my pro tips to help you stay chill . Number one adjust your expectations .
Not every holiday will look like a hallmark movie , and that's okay , except for the fact that family dynamics well like your plate , they can often be messy . Go in expecting love , not perfection . Give the gift of love even if you don't get it in return . Number two pick your battles .
When Uncle Joe starts sharing his very strong opinions about your life choices , take a deep breath , maybe a few more . Then ask yourself is this worth my energy ? For real , remember , your response is your responsibility . If not , smile politely , nod and wave and excuse yourself to check out the Christmas crack that Grandma Kate just put on the dessert table .
Number three create a drama-free end zone . Set a boundary for yourself . If the conversation turns toxic , redirect or remove yourself . Something like I'm going to go refill my cocoa works Every time , putting that conversation in the end zone . And number four script your responses . Have a few go-to lines ready , like thanks for your concern .
But you know what I'm happy with how things are Keeping it short and sweet . Also , learn how to keep it light like the Christmas trees . I appreciate the advice . We've got a system that works great for us and our family .
But I'll keep that in mind , always have that one line already , so when they try to cross it , you always have something courteous yet clever to say . Co-parenting conflicts keeping the kids first . Now let's talk about the co-parenting juggling act . That hits extra hard during the holidays . You know split schedules , unmet expectations and last minute changes .
Well , they can make the season feel more stressful than joyful . Almost makes you want to deck the halls with some duct tape . So how are you going to thrive when things take a sudden deep dive ? Well , girl , you're going to go to your co-parenting survival tips . And here you go . We got your bags packed Ready . Number one you're going to put the kids first .
Remember , the holiday isn't about your ex , it's about the extra attention your kids need , keeping their joy at the center of every decision , even when it's tougher than tinsel to get off your Christmas tree . Number two be flexible within reason . Life happens . If there's room for flexibility , try to accommodate . Do a little backbending if you will .
If not , stick to the agreed plan and communicate clearly , keeping it kind . Number three no trash talk , no matter what . Avoid speaking negatively about the other co-parent in front of the kids . If things get heated like a fireplace , vent to a trusted friend after the holiday or holiday gathering , not during it . Number four stay in control .
You can't control the other co-parents actions , only your responses to them . So handle your business girl with grace , and then erase and replace what he just said , letting the rest go . Handling unsolicited advice like a boss . Let's talk about everyone's favorite holiday tradition unsolicited advice . Something about Christmas dinner , I don't know .
It turns people into certified life coaches , even when their own is one flush away from going down the toilet bowl . So how to handle unsolicited holiday advice ? Gift givers , you know the gift you don't want to receive of day advice . Gift givers , you know the gift you don't want to receive .
Number one smile and deflect when someone chimes in with you with a you should really , you should really mom . Then just smile and say well , thanks for the suggestion , but we've got it under control . Then change the subject .
You see , this is another time that I like to say to have those one-liners ready so that you can draw a line around your own two feet . Number two redirect the conversation . Ask them I don't know about their life . You know people love talking about themselves .
It's a quick way to shift the spotlight off of you or even put the spotlight , maybe , on your kiddos . Have handy the many high fives they got this year and spotlight even some of their school success . Maybe even have some of their highlighted moments on your phone ready to share . Number three set a firm but kind boundary If it gets too much .
Be direct and say something like I appreciate your concern , but you know I'm happy with how I'm handling things . Then exit stage left when it's just you holding it all together . All right , this section is to my full-time single moms who , well , it's just you and you . You're not handing off the kids for a holiday break . It's all you all season long Now .
I know it can feel overwhelming when the holiday magic and miracles seem like it's all on your shoulders . But hear me on this You're doing more than enough . Every moment of love , laughter and togetherness you create is a gift far more valuable than anything that could be wrapped up with a bow .
You might not have someone to share the load , but you do have strength beyond your measure . You're making memories , building traditions and showing your kids what resilience , joy and unconditional love looks like , even when you're running on fumes . So when the holiday hustle feels relentless , remember this . Holiday hustle feels relentless . Remember this .
You are seen , you are valued and you are loved . You're writing a legacy of love , one imperfectly perfect holiday moment at a time . So before you even think about adding one more thing to your holiday to-do list , girl , you need to take a breath . You've already given your kids the best gift possible , and you know what that is .
That's your love , your time and simply your presence . But even superheroes need a plan right . So let's talk about some survival tips to help you , my sweet friend , navigate the season with less stress and more joy . Solo mom . Survival tip number one simplify the season .
Pick a few of your special traditions that matter and focus on the meaningful over the Pinterest . Perfect Two create a new tradition for you . After the kids are in bed , pour cocoa or something stronger , just not with alcohol . Preferably .
Watch a holiday movie , write in a journal or I don't know , focus on the fun that you're looking forward to having in the new year and then just simply breathe . Three ask for help and accept it . Lean on friends , family or church for babysitting , shopping help or just someone to talk to . Number four make time for rest .
Schedule a stay-home day , have a PJ day , bake cookies and relax . And number five , and this is the most important in my book love yourself well . Remember you can't pour from an empty cup , so you need to prioritize yourself , even if it's just 10 minutes of quiet with your favorite holiday candle or walk around the block Loving your kids well .
Well , it starts with you loving you well . So , as I close , remember this you don't have to drink the eggnog or the drama that comes with the holidays . You can choose peace , joy and grace , even when things get a little messy .
So get ready and get set to set your boundaries , hold your head high and remember that you are the queen of your story , not anyone else . When it gets tough , sip your cocoa , say a prayer , invite Jesus into the moment and keep on shining , girl .
You see , you know he is the reason for the season and he already gave you the greatest gift of all his peace . Mama . Even when it feels like everything is on your shoulders , remember you are never truly alone . Matthew 28 , 20 reminds us . I am with you always , to the very end of the age .
Jesus is with you in the busy , the quiet and every moment in between . You're doing enough , you are enough and your love is the greatest gift your kids could ever receive . So , before we go , I would like to close us in prayer . Lord , thank you for being our peace in every season .
Bless these strong , beautiful moms as they navigate the holidays , surround them with your love , strengthen them in their weariness and fill their homes with joy , laughter and hope . May they feel your presence in every moment In Jesus' name . Amen .
Until next time and next year , when I return on January 6th , stay strong , stay grounded and keep that crown oh yes steady , even if it's tilted from dodging some holiday nonsense . Need prayer and care this holiday season . My faith-filled friends are here for you . If you need some prayer or just someone to talk to , call our 24-hour prayer line at 855-822-PRAY .
We are here for you , day or night . Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you . Thanks for listening to . It's a single mom thing . I hope you enjoyed our time together . If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with jesus or need prayer , visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom . Backslash prayer .
For more information and resources , check out our show notes .