Al Zone Media. Ho Ho Ho, Mary Christmas. Robert Evans here, and we had been planning to make a new Come episode to give you all a white Christmas this year. But you know what I didn't wind up wanting to do right during the holidays when we didn't have to work, is spend hours researching some other weird Come conspiracies on the internet. So we're just going to play the old
Come episode for you as a rerun. I know that's not the most effortful version of our job that I could have done this year, but also it's been a real shitty year for everybody. So let's just listen to an old Come episode and pretend we gave you a Newcome episode. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Dearly beloved, Welcome to it could happen here. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word life. It's a thing that only happens with the addition of a couple of ingredients, and one of those ingredients is the subject of our episode today. Oh yeah, you guys like that? Everybody really happy with that?
I love that. Yeah, I'm feeling not at all like I want to kind of shower. Okay, can you can.
You can hear the moment where we're all like simultaneously questioning every single decision we've ever made in our entire lives.
Now we're all bonded together. So how's everybody doing today? We've got Miil Wong, Garrison Davis, James Stout, and I should let people know I wasn't joking about the come thing. So those of you who are too online will know this. Those of you who are not online enough, this is one of the online things that you will want to
know because it's very funny. And the gist of it is that like four days ago, doctor Jordan B. Peterson got sent a link to a Twitter account that is that purports to be spreading like hidden news about the evils of the Chinese communist regime, and they put out a video that was a segment from a British milking
fetish pornography video. Now, if you're not aware the milking, as far as I can tell, I believe it kind of descended from the long lineage of like rubber fetishists, right, and there's like a lot of medical fetish stuff it tied into it. But the idea is that men are entirely wrapped up on hospital gurney's and giant pumps sucked the semen out of him.
So milk the machine is very like milk what you were used to this.
This Twitter account put this up, claiming that it was the Chinese government stealing the semen of young men, and Jordan Peterson shared it saying it was an unbelievable act of evil and then everyone had the best day of their lives. And an hour of two later he deleted it.
Now I have been continuing, coward, coward, coward.
Yeah, so strange, so strange that he left the word a pair of view dukid.
Yeah, it's wild that he's no longer professor. It's very funny. We're continuing to give him shit for it online, but it set us off down an interesting road, and because some other stuff fell through, we're going to talk about the wide world of weird right wing come conspiracies. Most of them are leased, are going to be right wing. There's a surprising number of semen based conspiracies. Everybody did
research on their own special thing. I wanted to start by talking about this this Jordan Peterson cum video and giving kind of some of the some of the background on it so I was. Last July, the Chinese Human Sperm Bank of Shanghai announced that it was hosting a competition for college students to find out whose semen was was the best in terms of, like, you know, a number of modal sperm per milli leader, I think is
the way that they judge it. And basically the idea was that they were trying to find like people with sperm concentration greater than sixty million per mili leader, and if they visited a sperm bank a set number of times in a six month period, they could receive a prize that was equivalent to about twelve hundred dollars right now.
The reason this is happening is that China, for the first time, as a result of a number of different policies, had negative population growth very recently, and this is the thing that can cause a problem for a country for a variety of reasons. So the government is trying to shore up birth rates, and there are a lot of couples in China that have had issues conceiving, and so there's a huge amount of demand for sperm in the country right now. So this is not a weird story.
It is actually a thing that happens all around the world regularly. But right around the time that this happened, a little bit after that, it came out that a Japanese company started selling what is called in the articles I found an automatic sperm extractor to Chinese sperm banks. Now this is I'm going to send you all the link I was king you would oh oh yes, good friends, thanks,
but yes, we're all going to see this. So the Machines price listing on ali Baba, where it sells for about five to six thousand dollars, describes it as a device that quote merges modern digital technology, automatic control technology and simulation technologies with semen collection and premature ejaculation desensitization training function. So it has a number of purposes including guess to help guys stop coming too early. Oh, which, no shame. It's funny that someone built a machine for it.
It's extremely funny. I think you can buy on Ali Express. It's like I personally, I'm not attaching anything. I bought an Ali Baba to sensitive part to.
My body makes thousand dollars.
It's not cheap. Now, the primary these are not being used for people who are coming too quickly.
It's just like the worst ever. We're too dtwo this it is.
It is weird.
What's the orientation? Does it stand on the ground and you just approach it?
You you have to stand up?
Yeah, but what if you're a shot king.
I said, I'm sure they have options. It has like the rough shape of like HANDHLD massage device, but it's kind of like formed like almost an art deco robot vagina. And basically from what I've read, kind of the reasoning is that, like, hey, we need people to donate sperm. Some people feel weird about just masturbating in a clinic, and we hope this is a more pleasant experience for them. So again this we're laughing because like, look, a machine designed to capture seamen is kind of a funny thing.
That's okay, no shame on anybody for that. But the fact that you have both the government trying to encourage people to donate sperm and this weird machine kind of created fertile ground for a bunch of right wing weirdos to start making the ground grounded, I know, fertile ground to commit to make the completely ungrounded claim that like the government was trying to steal people' seemen right, And that is the basis of doctor Jordan B. Peterson's fun
little freak out on the internet. And I will say you should try to find the videos of the automatic sperm extractor. This this amazing Japanese machine, because it is funny. It is fascinating.
On the account.
Do they have to like like like change like I assume they changed.
Yeah, you can't clean that.
If you watch the video, there's like a there's a rub that like h comes out like let's see it.
The thing that the penis goes in is also the captured device, so it is removed with the sperm donation when you take it out. So again this is you know, funny because come, but there's nothing sinister here. It's just in the same way that literally everything is. People have like spun it up into a nonsense thing. But because of this a full, beautiful story which I hope we've all gotten to enjoy. I got to do a lot
of work on the some of you. If you live, if you've worked in agriculture, you're not going to be surprised that stealing come is a massive industry, like it is a There is a lot of money to be made in stealing semen. There's enough money to be made in stealing semen that there are two different official terms that I have found for semen theft. The first is sperm jacking.
How could it get better? How could it get better than that?
It gets better because the second the second is spurgling.
These are like professionals who like come up with these terms.
Huh, these are it's a marketing genius. There actually is. I did find in my research there is one actual Chinese based sperm conspiracy. It's just not a very sinister one. There's this Chinese businessman, Jesse jabet Zoo who stole there. There's this I think it was a Canadian company. No, it was a US company who had So this is
for like bull semen. And one of the things that you want for bull semen is you don't want if you're inceminating cows, you want all of the babies to be female generally, right, because bulls are not very with outside a certain specific If you're like trying to make more breeders or whatever. If you're in industrial agriculture, you don't want any of the boys, right. You just want to keep making those sweet, sweet lady cows that are, you know, more useful to you in a financial sense.
So there's a US company that developed a method of before insemination looking through the sperm and like sorting out the sperm that will make female cows. And that is apparently hard to do. I mean, it sounds like it would be hard to do, right. And this this uh, this Chinese businessman was like reverse engineering there. It's kind of actually basically the same story as Jurassic Park. And anyway, this guy has has gotten sued for a bunch of money.
He got checked.
I hope it works out just as well as Jurassic Park.
Yeah, it's very funny. I will say there's a couple of really wild lines from this the CBC story I found. I'm just gonna read one to you. Zoo's activities could best be described as machiavellian. At various points, he outlined a plan to make X Y that's the American company quote feel all the time, the sort of damocles is on their heads and brag the law is strong, but the outlaws are ten times stronger.
Okay this taste.
Look Jesse Jabez, my hero, the sperm Bandit incredible sperm Jacker, one of the bests in the business.
This man lives on an island with his cow raptors.
What a hero. There was also a case of a Japanese man who illegally took wagyu cattle sperm too China to try to give them sperm, and like the Chinese government immediately caught him and was like, no, this is actually incredibly dangerous, Like you're not allowed to just take animal breeding material into the country without because you know, there's a wide variety of reasons that that could be in horribly So he got in a shipload of trouble. Yeah, anyway,
that's my that's my sperm stories. Everybody, thank you for yeah, thank you, thank you for spurgling my knowledge. Garrison, we're back and James is here to talk to us about the kind of sperm jacking that you do when you don't jack. I'm talking about jacking your own sperm by keeping it inside of you seman retention, Yeah, it's how is that, James beautiful?
Unscripted?
Did you just.
Write?
Didn't need to write that, Garrison, So.
On the back of his hand. He had a brain wave at two in the morning and he got that down.
Those are the kind of things you can do when you've been podcasting as long as I.
Am space for several years.
I've been in those soggy trenches for a long time.
Yeah all right, we are, after all, at work, so let me continue. So I'm going to talk about what happens when you keep your home inside you. Uh yeah, this is the thing.
What are we doing today?
This is this is critical journalisten. We are making content. Talking of content. Let's talk about the content of some Reddit posters. So the what's called the semen retention movement, and this will this will shock many of you began on Reddit dot com. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, like so many one.
I feel like.
Reddit.
I feel like if you type that into your phone, it would have finished the sentence the same.
What is auto directitude to Reddit?
Believe me, we're going to go there, Garrison, because when you google sperm retention, you do indeed find some stuff on Reddit. And so now they've spun off from Reddit, right, they now have their own organization, which is No Fat dot Com and No Fat dot Com is a community
centered sexual health platform. I'm I'm using I'm allowing them to define themselves here, I guess designed to help people overcome poorn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, which is is not necessarily really like like the this isn't the like not all seamen retention, as we're going to learn, is basically helping people become addiction to porn, but so far as that is a thing that that people actually have.
And if someone was accusing Robert of being addicted to porn on on his timeline this weekend.
That would be because he Ratio and Jordan Peterson with the Yeah, the pornography video that he mistaking the post that's direction. Yeah, yeah, I just want him to respond so I could ask him, Jordan, tell me in your own words, what you thought was happening in that video.
I really hope he thinks it's like milking, Like they have RFID collars and they get fed based on their production level. That would be great.
Yeah, and what did you you're a medical doctor, did you think that cum actually worked that way? You could just stick a sucker anyway.
Yeah, just get it out. Okay. So, after after this movement began, I read it dot com. It quickly pivoted to kind of offering all kinds of weird physical and mental health benefits and that's where it was adopted by friends.
In the podcast The Proud Boys, luckily, we do have a bit of insight into why and into the exact nature of the no fat fascism that the Proud Boys practice thanks to Kyle Cheney, who's a Politico reporter who was reporting on the trial of one of the Proud Boys accused of traditional on January sixth, called Zach Rell their trial for reasons that I'm not exactly clear on the Proud Boy I guess it's like the handbook, like that the kind of Proud Boy bibles introduced and uh,
into the into the record, somebody, yeah in there, Yep, it's in the court record, buddy, because because one of the lawyers decided that it was pertinent to the case. So a Proud Boy may not ejaculate alone more than once in every thirty days. That means he must abstained from pordography during that time. And if he needs to ejaculate, this is really weird, it must be within one yard of a woman.
Fascinatingly, specifically, yeah, yeah.
Right, and I like that they've they've gone with imperial measurements with her consent, so that's nice. The woman may not be a prostitute, so that that's the proud pois nature. There no fat fairstuism. But I think I think the way of understanding why some people practice this perhaps best is to is to go on to reddit dot com. So I found a post by Reddit user u slash monk one night one eight one seven h seems like a nice guy, and there are four hundred, four hundred
and eighty up votes on. What I did was I went to semen retention and I looked at you know, sorted by popular posts, found this one from a bunch of numbers. And so this guy has nine years of experience with semen retention. So I'm just going to read I'm presuming oh boy.
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, him and some months off the coast of fucking lind spar.
I cannot be healthy. No, I don't think it is. There is I will get to this evidence that you shouldn't do this. Uh So, in his nine years of experience, he has experienced the following things. Semen, when retained in our bodies, has healing, rejuvenating effects. Loss of semen has the opposite effects. This may not be scientifically proven, but it's proven by experience. That's a red flag. That's interesting
getting Reddit medical advice. While attempting any task that demands high physical, mental, or intellectual abilities, if we are semen retention powered, we would actually enjoy the task, which would otherwise seem dull. This is called sexual energy transmutation in layman's terms.
Oh no, wait, that's the laymen's the non laymen term.
It's got even more. I have no idea spermozoic fucking fission. So for peak performance, it's always necessary to be powered by seamen. It would be best to use semen only for regeneration purposes, since nature originally intended it for regeneration, and not use it for sexual purposes apart from the create a child. If not serving that purpose, Master whatever teach techniques are useful in not letting the seed out while having sex. At the end of the day, don't
let your seed out like a worthless thing. There's more so, just contain yourself great, great, which is exactly the reason why core religions are based on celibacy, because opposite of regeneration is degeneration, which will cause a man to fall into a lower state controlled by his lower nature, rather than when he's subduing it. We should let seemen retention be part of our lives, not something that is done
for superpowers. For superpowers are, in my experience, the sudden ecstasy that we feel once we transition from the degenerated to the regenerated state, and that will stabilize after some time, similar to how a flight maintains stable altitude after take off.
Very very similar.
Actually, yeah, that's that's what you can hear when the when the engine are spinning up. It's just a do track, really hard not to nut and it makes that noise.
So excited for the next Marvel film where the where the superhero.
Come so he can get tiny no fat man.
So yeah he didn't. I should add that This person confesses to having lapsed at some point in the nine years.
Yeah it's Armstrong was on steroids. It's just disappointing.
No one would have seen it coming. See what I did there? Okay. So this person then urges other posters on the semia retention subreddit to not use streaks to outperform others or look better about ourselves or bring others down. The battle with lust is a lifelong fight, and the more we get better at finding victories. Yeah yeah, buddy, there at finding victories over internal battles, the better we become as high valued men.
Hell yeah, see, I've often wished that, you know, if the if the pandemic hadn't been a thing, and I could force you all to work in a central location, I could have like a wall of murals where I put under each of your faces a quote from an episode that you've participated in, and James that that would be your quote. The battle gets us is a lifelong struggle.
Yeah that, I'll get some T shirts knocked up, but we can do a fun rate.
Would we eventually get the and mediate officers? You have a portrait hanging on the wall if you one quote underneath.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, on a plaque with a yeah, let me get the cash we when we take over the Meta offices three weeks from now. Yeah. There is a marketing company that has been emailing me for about six months telling me how cheap it is to buy a billboard by the side of a road and send a
message to a loved one. So maybe great, maybe doing bangarray Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, well there will be until I put my positive messages about the controlling lust and holding semen inside our bodies true and return men to their former glory. So a lot of the a lot of the reddit posts rely on a couple of different studies, right, and one of these studies measured participates. A lot of what they're doing is a claiming to increase testosterone right
right at the bat. Testosterone does have Aslan's armstrong can tell you some performance enhancing benefits, so yeah, you know, increases your muscle growth, your your coverage from exercise, all that stuff. One of the studies measured participate testosterone levels at baseline before masturbation and then in ten minute intervals after masturbation, right, And then they were asked to abstain for three weeks, and they came back and they did
the process again. Testosterone was higher in the baseline measurement at the end of the three weeks of abstinence, right, But the sample size was pretty small, and there's some theorizing that the boost was actually caused by the anticipated
masturbation that they were about to do. At the second it was so ready to go, yeah, yeah, he's gun, Yeah, you're just ready to pop. After three weeks, the second study looked at a forty five percent intre so after a few days seven days of abstinence, But even the study showed this was a temporary peak that returned to normal even with continuing abstinence. So there's just these two studies. They're pretty they happened a long time ago. We'll post them all in the show notes if you guys want
to read more about novap science. But we should just point out that there is in fact a multitude of evidence this is a bad idea that having sex is actually good for you. Having sex will toward trying not to ejaculate. It's probably not good for you, probably not good for your relationship either. One would surmise there.
Are into that whatever, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well if that's your thing, you do you do you. There was a study that investigated the motivation for semen and retention among semen and retainers, and a lot of it it seemed like people were people who felt that like either sex or masturbation was unhealthy
or wrong or sinful. And there is evidence to show that like feeling like guilty about yourself or like living with stress and self learning like that is bad for you, right, and that will reduce your test after a level there's also some evidence suggested not ejacul I think can give you prostate issues.
Yes, yeah, there's and this is like pretty debatable, like most things that people talk about in regards to coming and health, Like you can find some studies, like the studies on testosterone. Some of them are kind of sketchy. Anyway. Yeah, don't think O come or come either way. You know, it's whatever. But if you do have a chance to fuck one of those Ali Baba robots, I recommend it. Let's talk about cum demons.
Hell yeah, wait, okay, okay, hard hard pivot here from us.
So okay, we we are not going as far afield from the no fat people as as as as you would think. Okay, but all right, now, the year is twenty twenty. Everyone on Earth has collectively gone insane. Uh, this is this is this is the summer. This is the summer of twenty twenty. So this is the part of twenty twenty where fun stuff is happening. This is like late July, Garrison, That's when we met.
So yeah, we were getting just incredibly poisoned.
Yeah, yeah, we sure were. That'll be fun in like twenty years.
Well, well, while life or death struggle for the sort of the life for death, struggle for the fate of the United States and whether or not people are going to be conducing murdered by the cops is being waged in the streets.
Uh, Donald Trump.
But Donald J. Trump, Donald Donald J.
Trump.
Wow, Donald Trump Junior. That one that's that's that's the Trump little Trump here.
Yeah.
Trump, we're you know, looking for looking looking for their their their their cure to COVID nineteen on Twitter and okay, so as we probably all remember, right, the thing that they found was hydroxid. Okay, so one of the first ones that they found before before I've remat him.
This is this is before we found so much shit?
Yeah, was it inside with them all along? May?
No, this is this is this is chloric clean the thing that was probable. I hope they weren't full of the doctor.
I thought it was.
No.
No, Well, we'll get to that where there there's a The road is long, but it ends with cum demons. We first must walk the road. So the road here is Donald Donald Trump Junior posts a tweet saying like this, saying this is necessary watching about this video from this doctor named doctor Stella Emmanuet. Now Okay, who is this person? She she is part of Ah okay, I say part of She runs this thing called Firepower Ministries, which, so you're going great.
She's also part of I know, broadly Yeah, okay, cool.
She's also part of America's frontline doctors who are yeah yeah, yeah, I've forgotten. Yeah, these dip ships, Oh my god. Okay, So this is this is very very very much in the same vein as architecture nine to eleven truth. They found a bunch of people who technically have medical degrees or like nurses who were like no, no, vaccines are bad and hydroxychloric clean quadratrichlor clean is we'll covid cork with that one. Yeah, it's it's, it's been. It's it's
been a long day. I I've slept for eight hours, but in like several distinct parts of the day that were not continuous. It's been. Things are going things are going great.
Matter if you've taken some horse medicine first.
Quite possibly, I mean it's not like you could have gone worse.
I get.
All right, right, So so that this person's from the very sketchy doctors who are trying to sell like a bunch of random ship to to cure COVID And.
Okay, so who actually is this person?
She is from a ruined and doctor Stella meant Immanue was caught up in uh the unbelievably sort of like I mean right, like yes, objectively right wing, also very very weird wave of Pentecostalism and charismatic Christianity that's been sweeping across that part of Africa and as part of sort of a you know, sort of like a very sort of long range of coordinated effort by by right
wing Christian missionaries. So okay, so for for for people who don't know your Christianity very well, the Pentecostals and the charismatic Christians are like firmly in the very very weird camp of Christians. Like these are these are people who do faith healing. One of the very common sort of Pentecostal things is this belief that like like you just you talk to God, like God's in your head
and you just have conversations with him. Now unfortunately for like all of us, and and this is you know what a thing that is a non insignificant contributing factor to why the last I don't know ten years have been so bat shit is that like this this originally was kind of an isolated Pentecostal thing and like the broader evangelicals were like, no, no, no, God only talks to me like your pastor, Like he's probably not like you're you're not like having a conversation in your head with
but like change that's changed. Yeah, this shit has this ship has fucking taken over everywhere. It's really bad. And these people believe a lot of very very weird stuff. So well, I mean, okay, so like you know, she she has like some of the sort of standard like really really hardline like David iike shit, Like she believes that the world's being run by aliens and like reptiles, and like the vaccine has like alien DNA in it to like take over your data. You know. It's just
like sort of kind of Facebook moments Alex Jones. Shit, yeah right, okay, but okay, I'm gonna read this quote from will Sumner. This is a quote from one of her for her sermons, They which is, demons are responsible for serious guy int ecological problems. And Manuel said, we call them all kinds of names, and tremeseus and travisus, we call them molar pregnancies, we call them fibroids, we call them cysts, but most of them were evil deposits from spirit husband.
God.
Yeah.
No, they are responsible for miscarriages, impotence, men that can't get it up. So all right, immediately we we have like we have there are several kinds of coum demons here that we're dealing with. So there are like there, there's, there's, there's okay. So a lot of this is drawn from what is a very like a genu widely unbelievably dubious piece of theology. So when I was reading musicching this, right, I saw, I saw, I saw someone there was there
was like a religious scholar who was writing this. He was like, oh, I immediately recognized the theology of this. This is from this is from Genesis six.
So okay.
So I was like, okay, what what the fuck are they talking about? So I I went back and I read Okay, So I went back and I read the Genesis, and I'm going to read the two this is.
This is from Genesis chapter six.
Verses one and two, and I am just going to read these two sentences and I'm going to see if you two can produce cum demons from this, Okay, happy, I.
Mean I could produce cum demons from almost anything.
That is the power with the right machinery.
You know what, I think we know exactly what the right machinery is.
Look, we know that we can produce com demons mechanically. Our challenge here is to produce them theologically. Okay, try I will, I will use all of all of my knowledge.
We must, we must find a way to evacuate the vast deference of the soul.
Okay, So I'm using I'm using the King James translation, because that's the translation that all these psychos use. And it came to pass when men began to multiply on the face of the earth and were born onto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of man that they were fair, and they took them wives of all which they chose.
Okay, so I I do know where they're I I do know what what they are doing. So the sons of God, those would be what like fallen angels that have been procreating with women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This this ties into like the Book of Enoch stuff, which was made a little bit like after Genesis, but kind of like retconned a lot of like the creation story, so I can see where they're they're pulling cum demons from. But it is it is a bit of a stretch.
Yeah, they're kind of you could say cum demons in the way that like god seed. Yeah, you could see it. Yeah, it's that's it is a stretch.
Now, Okay, my, my, my, my analysis because I I think I I think they're pulling this out of their ass, and I think they're pulling this out.
Of their as.
It's also about cum demons.
So yeah, okay, I I I I have it is well known for people who follow me on Twitter.
I have an immense and powerful disrespect for theology. But what what part of the sons of God? What what part of that gets you to demons and not like because again, isn't the whole point of Christianity that we are all God's children? Like is this not a thing that they tell you in every single fucking So how do you read that and not think they're talking about people and immediately jump to come de bit like, here's what's going on?
I could I could explain this because this is the King's James version, So this was made in a post Book of Enoch world around the around the alleged birth of Jesus, the Book of Enoch got very popular, and this this introduced the idea of a fallen angel. The fallow fallen angel isn't really in the Bible at all, it's only it's only in like non biblical Abrahamic texts. So this, this idea then kind of got planted into
a lot of like Catholic mythology as well. So when they're there, cause they have a distinction between like this, like the sons of like the sons of God versus what was the what was the thing they used to refer to the daughters. The sons are the daughters of men exactly, So the daughters are human, where the the the sons are like came from God. So that is some type of fallen angel that has been cast down to earth. Like there they are doing a specific thing.
But it's it's it's it's a result of a whole bunch of like mistranslations and a whole bunch of various various like Christian and Gnostic texts that been that have been misinterpreted for thousands of years by the Catholic Church. And it creates a really weird theology that is indistinguishable from like Castlevania.
So I'm blame I blame Martin lu This is Martin Luther's fault, like like the.
Here's the thing, here's the thing.
Keep it in high Latins, understand.
This, this is this is this is what Martin Luther. I was specifically because okay, so this was already happen the cath the Church was already doing this right, but Martin Luther had a chance to fix this ship. And she was like, do you know what I'm gonna do and say, is that I am going to I am going to turn against the peasant revolts and I'm going to do a lot. I'm going to bring about a level of anti Semitism that is going to allow me to outflank the Inquisition on the right. She could have
been fixing this bullshit, no anti Semitism. Woo, I gotta keep my patron lords and down he was.
He was German like, there's only so much you can ask, that's true.
Yeah, well, I'm happy that we can all go to sleep at night worrying about the sons of God implanting semen.
That that's that's come demon type pie one, right, that is okay, So though those are those are the demons that like they they have they have sex with women and they produce nephelim from or sometimes also nephlin.
There's there's a lot of sort of conflicting sort of theology. All that stuff comes from the Book of Enoch. All that stuff is non canon to the modern Bible, but it's where it's where it comes from.
Fucking Council of Nicia, Okay.
But there's also there's also a second there's also the second kind of cum demon, right, which is these are the these are well okay, so succubi and incuby are based here we go, I do it. I was it was counting down the the other kind of of demon. So you have your incuby, right, who are another type of sex demon. The incuby fuck men so they can steal their semen and they're they're they're you know, there's
stents are reasons that. There's another thing that she talks about, which is that there are witches who have like astral spirit sex with men in their sleep. And if you're like having a sex dream, it's because you're having actual spirit sex.
No no, yeah, I mean, like I like Bill Murray, I've I've experienced that. Oh no, that was Bill Murray. Sorry, my mistake.
Wait, yes, okay, okay, the cloud, the fog is clearing. I've I've had I've had sex with too many sex demons. It's it's a real issue.
Okay.
So so all right, So we have the sex demons who are like trying to pregnant. You have the sex tamans we're trying to steal your com We also have the actual we have the actual projecting projecting witches, right, and the actual projecting witches are trying to steal people's come as part of an Illuminati plot to create like
an even more powerful witch. And the even more powerful witch is going to use gay marriage and children's toys to like destroy the fabric of Western civilization and thus bring about sort of jen general new world order, et cetera. Have heard this, honestly, Witch meetings, Yeah, that is not.
As far from the backstory to Warhammer forty thousand as it should be.
That's very sadly true.
I didn't want Warhammer forty thousands coming to our com episode if I'm honied.
No, No, it's I mean look, there's a lot of people who are interested in both Semen Retention and Warhammer forty thousand.
That's a tight venda ram.
Yeah, yeah, they all play ultra marines. That was a that's yeah, pretty good Warhammer forty thousand jokes of those of you who play.
I also I also learned a couple of days ago that I one of the many crimes of the Emperor forty k was passing off in a miry Bikara quote is his own.
Oh yeah, that that is that was That was a good bit. That was a really good bit. It's little pieces like that that let you know that Dan Abnett's pretty bass. That was my favorite part of the book.
So funny, that's like, that's literally canon.
I do have like three pages written on.
Yeah, little bit. That's that's that's the end of the same stems go off.
Well, okay, I The one thing I'll add on is that one of the more funny modern versions of these, if you go on the Beta Drill subreddit, the Recreational Petrol subreddit, you can fight who try to take enough beda drill to have sex with the hat man, which is another another form of trying to sum a shadow People.
Maybe you have to you have to explain your terms for people here. Yeah, I'm the man is a tall, thin man wearing a hat who appears when you take hallucinogenic doses of benadrill because you can't afford better drugs because you're seventeen.
Yes, we're younger.
And there's some people the hat man.
Some people find the hat man extremely attractive or some of like the female shadow people variants, and they try to they have I have read multiple reports of people explaining their sexual experiences with shadow people.
Anyways, the President of the United States and his son were promoting this, so this is great.
This website, by the way, absolute adventures on here. I'm just reading about how to use Christ's blood as a weapon. Amazing.
Oh that's good.
Yeah, yeah, that problems he yeah.
Do you know who won't steal your seamen?
Everybody?
We can't promise that.
I can.
I can promise any advertiser on this show I've personally approved to make sure they will not come into your bedroom and still your semen.
Wow, how do you how does the approval precis work?
Out of interest, I cannot divulge privately, Garrison for we are we are going to close off by talking about a sperm and testosterone, to two of our favorite topics for this episode. For some reason, about about a year ago, a trailer on Fox News dropped for a new batch of Tucker Carlson originals titled The End of Men. It opens with the text that reads, in the current year, the cycle continues.
Once a society collapses, then you're in hard times. Well, hot iron sharpens iron, as they say, and those hard times inevitably produce men who are tough, men, who are resourceful, men who are strong enough to survive, and then they go on to re establish order, and so the cycle begins again.
Now, there's a few funny things about this video, from the ripped shirtless dudes milking cows to wrestling each other and shooting bottles of canola oil. There's had a hundreche that are shooting like ten bottles of canola oil.
For some reason, maybe.
Then Mussolini's like, they're into the Mussolini's death.
He was bye by far the most bizarre.
I suspect they're shooting the canola because it's like a seed oil thing. They think that like seed oil, it's a right wing thing. Oils are like sucking out your testosterone.
Anyway, It's something very silly, but by far the most bizarre thing in this trailer is a shot of a naked man with outstretched arms like Jesus on the crossa style, standing in front of a lake at dusk, a white machine shining a glowing red light on his dick.
What and.
Again, powerful image at the climax of the music from two thousand and one in Space Odyssey.
Uh, there's this.
There's this man facing balls first in front of this large red light at the end of this trailer.
I it should never have been any cause on our podcast or on Fox News for anyone to save the line after the end of the climax of the music from two thousand and one a Space Odyssey.
Oh that's the thing we're objecting to from this episode.
That's the line.
Yeah, yeah, because it shouldn't have climax. It lost its power in that moment.
Considering both like the no, no one.
Second, James, that was a very good joke.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for seeing me, buddy. Yeah.
So considering both like the text at the beginning and then some of the narration that we just heard the trailer. They're kind of this weird like KLi Yuga thing, right, that is that is a bit of a bit of what's going on here because.
Kali Yuga again. You can listen to our episodes on Savitri Devi for a little more information about this. But it's like this weird right wing un like quasi apocalyptic concept that evolved during an intermix between some of the early Nazis and some of the people who are currently behind the present leader of India. It's it's way too esoteric weird to get into, but it's one of the things that like the old.
Yeah, it's the real fun like it.
We're not going to get into it too much, but I think the previous unset.
That wound up adjacent to at Tucker Carlson episode because it's some like weird esoteric Nazi wizard shit.
Yes, And that previous November, Joe Rogan posted a KLi Yuga meme which went viral. It's it's about how hard times creates strong men, which create good times, which lead to weak men, which create hard times. It's a fucking silly yeah. His his the accompanying text on the Instagram post that that Rogan did said, civilizations move in predictable cycles. We are in the Kali Yuga, the age of conflict. All of the chaos we're seeing right now is predicted
in Hinduism thousands of years ago. Rogan was probably just like parroting something that he heard from one of his many fascy or new ag friends, which, considering Rogan's social circle, that could very well just be the same person.
Yes, yeah, yeah, one of his fucking sparring buddies is either friends with the Nazi or just stumbled upon a fucking the wrong podcast and then told him that when they were smoking weed. And you know, yes, I mean that's honestly to It's problematic because of his platform, but that's how I learned everything about esoterica. That I learned when I was in my twenties was some I was smoking weed with some sketchy dude who was going place I shouldn't have been on the internet.
So a few months after Rogan posted this meme, we have Tucker Carlson making this whole mini series surrounding this Hard Times Creates Strong Men kind of trend. It's taking cues from the online manosphere, and Tucker posited that weak unmanly men are leading to the collapse of civilization and a hardening of men is necessary to save it, according to According to Tucker, one of the threats to manhood is a quote unquote total collapse in testosterone levels amongst
men in recent years. And the solution goes beyond just your typical like anti soy crusading that Tucker has done in the past. Now, Tucker has turned to the cutting edge science of bromiopathic medicine as.
Advocates damn it, as advocated.
For by a quote unquote fitness professional named Andrew McGovern who touts that infrared light and testical tanning is this DIESX mod for plummeting tea levels and men.
So obviously half the viewers right now are like, what that's crotestical taking.
That's crazy.
But my view is Okay, testosterol levels crash and nobody says anything about it. That's crazy. So why is it crazy to seek solutions?
It's not crazy to seek solutions.
And I think I was recently exposed to a term called bromeopathy, and I think there's a lot of people out there right now that are don't trust the mainstream information.
This TV special is constantly referred to as a documentary, So surely you would expect Tucker to try and like interview scientists or like anyone with expertise on this topic.
Of course, not actually not the way to anyone series.
Andrew McGovern are, our bromeopathic hero works as a personal trader at Lifetime Fitness in Columbus, Ohio, and he hasn't even been a trader for very about a decade ago. About a decade ago, he was the manager of an Abercrombie and Fitch store in Miami.
Oh perfect, Yes you don't know, Okay, now my descriptions from it. He works at the Abercrombie and Finish store.
Wait, but in Miami.
Hey, if you want to get trim that's where you get trimmed.
Yeah, that.
Type of dude. He's emerging here.
As of twenty seventeen, he was the director of operations for Petland retail stores.
He's getting funnier.
But this guy's resume is amusing.
But Tucker, being a competent journalist, did not just interview one person. However, Kid Rock was brought on to be the sole voice of reasons.
You know, Garrison, you left, But kid Rock is the other person I've gotten for scription drugs from.
So Real Bastion in the platonic cave of men stands Kid Rock and a guy from Apacrombie and Fitch. We must only beat our shadows.
Dude, stop testical tanning.
Come on, I mean, I haven't heard anything, Bobby. I'm starting a punk rock band and it's called testical tanning.
That's the end of it.
I mean, don't you think at this point, when so many of the therapies, the paths they've told us to take, have turned out to be dead ends that have really hurt people, why wouldn't open minded people seek new solutions.
I don't know what the hell is going on in this world. I'm not even sure if I understood that question.
But some days I just want to stop this planet. Let me off.
Like Kid Rock was not did not buy into testical tanning the same way Tucker seems to.
How oh god is That's what I said?
I said he was brought out to be the sole reason.
But we thought you were joking because it's Kid Rock.
You were joking. Believe you.
No, he's the only person that doesn't buy it.
Kid Rock. It stands with science.
It is indeed Sweet Home, Alabama all summer long.
Tucker was not the first person to advocate for testicular tanning as the solution to an allegedly problematic dip in testosterone levels. Dating back to twenty fifteen, you can find articles online such as quote former MLB player Gabe Kapler says men who want to get stronger should tan their testicles from Complex and quote I put a giant red light on my balls to triple white testostero levels from a Men's Health twenty seventeen.
Is that written by Ben Greenfield Benny Johnce because he normally pops up with these things, which one the Men's Health one. Let me let me see a guy who injected dick to make it bigger. I have it in my show notes here.
This was written by someone named Ben Greenfield.
This balland one James So proud of you today, Buddy.
I'm so happy we have you on our team.
Jez, are you taking Are you taking performance enhancing drugs? For this podcast?
Sadly, Robert, I'm not, but this is so funny. We have stepped into a gold mine of contact with Ben Greenfield, the guy who injected his own dick with stem cells to make it bigger.
That's so funny.
I urge you. I compel you. If you have any free time in your day, just google Ben Greenfield penis. There will be several articles. It's supposed to be reptable outlets. It will just fucking make you unwell.
Well, that's that is great to hear it.
But despite not being the first person to talk about testicular tanning, Tucker was certainly the most impactful. After the airing of the End of Men, Testicular tanning showed a seven thousand increase in relative search interest on Google and thirty five thousand increase in tweets on the topic. Now, surely some of these things are stuff like what are making fun of it?
Right some tweeks, I'm sure.
A lot Also a lot of it's also people who are just talking about it genuinely. To quote a study published in JMIR, a dermatology publication, quote, the promotion of testicular tanning generated significant public interest in an evidence lacking and potentially dangerous health trend. Dermatologists and other healthcare professionals should be aware of these new viral health trends to
best consultations and combat health misinformation. Unquote so like in terms of actual data, A twenty seventeen meta analysis of studies on sperm counts found that in North America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand, men's sperm counts have declined by about
fifty percent between nineteen seventy three and twenty eleven. Now, these results have not been enough to really cause broad concern unless you're like a right wing influencer for men, because there doesn't really seem to be an equal drop in testostere level compared.
To problems mankind has had on the whole. Not enough semen comshat, it's not one of the.
Yes and like compared to previous decades. There is this maybe like a twenty percent decrease in total testosterone levels amongst adolescent and young adult males, but that's highly fluxtual and it's impacted heavily by diet.
It's It's suspected that.
Pollution and environmental degradation are also suspected of being contributing factors, with plastics like a thighlight being known to interfere with the production of hormones like distosterone. But this this area of research is still heavily contested, but still that has not stopped fitness YouTubers and conservative influencers from tying this to like the soy boy feminization of men and drumming up panic to grow their social media followings, sell their
supplements and advertise affiliate products. The krem Dela Creme of red lights for testicular tanning is the Juve Light, a light that is a light therapy panel company which sells these LEDs. They're they're like this, They're like this upscale wellness brand. The smallest model they have costs over one thousand dollars, with the full body ones going for around ten grand.
This is when you know it's a grift. If someone is telling you that they need to sell you sunlight, they are having a fucking laugh.
Our friend Ben Greenfield advocates a quote that advocates that you spend the big bucks on drew lest you quote fry your balls to a crisp with a cheap knockoff.
You wouldn't want to do that, would you?
Like?
This is unwild?
Yeah, it seems like it's maybe a bad idea.
I can teach you how to how to how to cook your balls safely without spending any money at all. Get a pair of double A batteries, take them right out of your out of your your your your your remote control. You stick the active in bottle of water, and then you put your hand on your testicles and it'll complete the circuit and power your testicles up with electricity, which you can then ejaculate instead of come.
They'll probably give you superpowers too.
Almost certainly, Garrison.
Legally, this is not a recommendation to do this. If you do this, that shit's not on us. You did that your infliction.
Please do not connect batteries to you.
Dick to quote that JMIR study evaluating the public's interest into secular tanning quote. The interest in this topic may be partially explained by the men's attention and advertising men's sexual health and hormone replacement or homone enhancing therapies receive in the US. Although subsequent media coverage largely disfavored testicular tanning due to lacking evidence and potential dangers, other health influencers came to defend and encourage the practice of testicular tanning,
specifically by using UV light as an unquote. As an example, here is a clip from fitness YouTuber Elliott Hulsey's Strength Camp with one point seven million followers.
Blast your balls with sunshine to increase testosterone. Now you can drop your draws and let your balls get kissed by the sun. Or you can try one of these light panels to roast my nuts and be more manly. Nineteen thirty nine study suggests the UV light exposure to your testicles increases testosterone by two hundred percent. If you want to join me in this experiment, you can find one of these bad.
Boys Joseyhealth dot com.
Then just go to personal labs dot com, get your blood tested, get your testosterone. Then after eight to twelve weeks, check it again and find out if the nut rusting really works.
So this whole idea goes back to this one nineteen thirty nine Studies eighteen thirty nine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now let's get let's you get shied to nineteen thirty nine.
Man.
And if there's one thing I trust, it's science from nineteen thirty nine.
Yep, got any comments on or on race in this study.
So this study was public in the journal ender Chronology, and it found that frequent UV irritation to the genitals increased urinary and rosterone, a metabolite of distosterone, increases levels by nearly two hundred percent quote unquote. Now you'll be shocked to learn that there may be problems with this study. Guess how many test subjects were included in this In this study, I'm gonna be generous and say eight, So miass eight. James V.
Greenfailed just one? One?
You say one, Robert, how many? How many do you think are in the study?
Geez, I think like seven was sacred to the Nazis, So I'm going to say.
That five, A grand total of five people are in the study.
Wow, I give the too much credit. They had to pick this sacred discordian number. Bullshit.
Three of them are fifty four years old and have manic depressive psychosis.
The other two are.
Twenty honestly not a bad Nazi apparently representative sample for Tucker's audience.
I was about to say the same thing. This is actually watches his show.
The other two or twenty eight and forty five and have a quote psychopathia with depressive features, which is very again old timey term.
Everyone on Twitter, et cetera, et cetera.
But I think what actually happened is I think they did this study at an asylum and just found people with depressive psychosis to do the study on. It's just these five, these five rand people. No, no individual graft results were produced. It only showed the quot unquote typical reaction and there wasn't even a control group for the study.
Was good silence.
Who not to mention there's many problems with like measuring to stosterone in the first place, because it changes broadly day to day and by age, and it's very kind of unreliable. To quote the JMIR study again quote beyond this questionable study, research has shown that exposure to UV radigation may increase sex steroid hormone levels. However, these studies either do not include human participants or do not specifically
evaluate u V radiation exposure to the genitals. There is there is not a single other study since then that has done anything resembling like peer reviewed science.
You know what, why.
Everybody go to go to go fund me help cool Zone determine whether or not testical tanning works and we'll get that control group.
Okay, so what my my other question about this, aren't aren't all these people getting fucking ball cancer?
We are?
We are Okay, we are about to get to that, because yes, you may think that shining you for lights on your balls might have some long term problems.
Yeah, it's great that a lot of South Durants come back to the episode again.
So uh Vice interviewed Seth Cohen, a urologist and the director of the Sexual Dysfunction Program at n y U Langdon Health.
Quote.
I'm not aware of any science or data or any journal publications proving that red light therapy improves male testosterone en quote. We change recommendations on medical therapies based on double blind, placebo controlled randomized trials, large studies with thousands
of patients. That's where you'll find if there's any really statistical significance between red light therapy and a placebo Could these men who underwent red light therapy and came out and felt stronger and more manly, could that have been a placebo effect? Of course it could unquote. So and as Mia mentioned, we have not really even gotten into
the potential dangers yet. Close direct heat to your testicles actually damages sperm count, on top of the risk of giving yourself ball cancer by blasting concentrated UV light on your genitals for twenty minutes a day, every day of the week, which is what is recommended to quote that study one last time quote. Research shows that excessive exposure to you V radiation may lead to higher rates of genital tumor formation and decreased sperm counts, as spermo to
genesis is temperature dependent. Thus, given the current obsession with optimizing male hormone levels, the high cost of red light therapy, and misleading information labeling of testicular retanning by prominent influencers, there may be an increase in men exposing themselves to UV radiation and developing associated complications unquotes.
Right, heroic, So guys.
Almost done here. But man, it's pretty it's pretty funny that all of the worst people you know are going to get ball cancery.
Don't stop them.
Yeah, I you know, there was a period of time in my life when I'd said where I will never which cancer on anybody. But if you are deliberately exposing your testicles for the sun to the sun and the hope of getting superpowers because of Nazi science, it's okay. It's it's okay, Like I'm not going to mourn that.
To be fair, that I thirty nine study was from the United States, so.
He's talking about the other Nazi science.
Yes, yeah, yeah, well yeah, And I think I think a part of this whole narrative of like the total collapse of men's testosterone levels, as as Tucker puts.
It, wish yeah, so much easier.
But I think this is more about men in power feeling that their position of assumed superiority is being threatened. Really, all of our quack science and conspiracy theory stories today all revolve around this, like subliminal dog whistle. It's no mistake that Tucker titled his program the End of Men. In all the stories we're covering today, it is the fear of emasculation that is the hook used to drum up fear and anger about how liberal feminism is eroding manhood.
It targets some of young men's sexual insecurities while promoting this like anti woke return to the old ways of rugged masculine.
Yeah, I might add because I think you're missing one aspect of it. I think you're identifying what he's signaling to his listeners and what they get out of it. But I also think that what he and the other folks who are kind of in positions of power and influence in the right get out of this because they're not they don't believe this, they're not actually motivated by that.
Now what this is, and because we do not know specifically why, like testosterone rates, maybe lower white sperm counts are definitely lower, but it likely has to do with a massive variety of industrial pollutants in the environment, and with the fact that industrial agriculture and the process nature of a lot of our foods is having a negative impact on all these things, like it's consequences of capitalism, right, and because the consequences are getting increasingly hard to ignore,
the thing that people like that need to do is find either a cure for them or another way to blame or another thing to blame them on.
Right.
And so if the aspect the things that are horribly unhealthy about the society that we have built is causing men to suffer consequences in their bodies, the thing to do on the right is to blame that shit on the liberals emasculating men. And the solution is whatever kind of shit we can sell you, right, Like, that's what's going on here, that's the motivation, and it happens outside of like manshit too, like that's all the right has anymore.
Like their economic theories have been proven disastrously wrong. They have no actual ability to govern in a meaningful way other than by causing harm to people. So it's entirely about taking the consequences of the world that they advocate and blaming them on someone else and selling you snake oil to deal with it.
Yeah, exactly, And so that is most of the of the testicular tanning fun that I got into.
We have covered all the things that Bank Greenfield did to his dacutat in twenty seventeen.
We'll get back on this subject, but it is time for us to end. This is already over an hour. So I want to leave you all, all of you, all of you beautiful. First, I want to thank all of our beautiful correspondence for their research. And I want to leave all of you with this simple piece of advice. If you feel like your testicles aren't getting enough solar radiation, simply purchase a glass cutter and an old microwave, cut a circular hole in the microwave, and you bag it
while it's on. You'll be okay. That is our legally binding health advice. That's the end of the episode.
It Could Happen Here is a production of cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from cool Zone Media, visit our website cool zonemedia dot com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can now find sources for it could Happen Here listed directly in episode descriptions. Thanks for listening.