CZM Book Club: Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne

a funny joke. And so I looked up some Winnie the Pooh and I started reading it to two of my friends this morning, and I was like, wait, no, this is really fun to read. It's just fun. It's very well written in a kind of interesting way. It's just literally, like the words roll off the tongue in a fun way. So that's what I'm going to read to you today. I'm going to read you some chapters

from the book Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh was written by a guy named AA Milm and it was written for his son Christopher Robin, who's the sort of main character, well, Winnie the Pooh's the main character, but the main human character. And it's basically a bunch of children's stories that an incredibly talented author wrote for his kid about his kids stuffed animals, and it did it

in a really interesting way. And so then I had to do this thing where I was like, ah, I need to look up Miln's like to figure out if he's just like an absolute bastard. And I don't know everything about him yet. This is like not something I'm incredibly well versed in, but I spent several hours reading about Milm this morning, and I can tell you that,

if nothing else, he was a pacifist. Although he was a pacifist who fought in both World Wars, and he fought the First World War because he felt like he got tricked into thinking it was the war to end all wars. And then he wrote this book, this anti war book called Peace with Honor in nineteen thirty four that was basically like, hey, we shouldn't go to war,

like propacifism argument. But then as the Nazis came to power, he was like, you know what, well, and the Nazi's already come to power in nineteen thirty four, but as things got real obvious, he actually changed his mind and he was like, in nineteen forty he wrote a book called War with Honor, and I don't think that book is a particularly important radical text or anything. It's all about how the atomic bomb is good because it'll end

the war. But either way, he came around on anti fascism. Well, I think he was always anti fascists as best as I can tell. But basically he was like, you know what, like, I'm anti war, but Hitler is essentially the devil and needs to be stopped. And personally, I don't think he's wrong about that. I don't feel pacifist about World War

two at all. So he's really interesting quotes, right, like when the Austrian Archduke Fernadad or whatever the fuck gets off and it starts World War one, his quote about it was that this has quote resulted in the death of nearly ten million men who were not archdukes. And he also wrote wars are fought for economic reasons, but

they are fought by volunteers for sentimental reasons. And he talks about how propaganda machines like work to create cultural consensus that we should all go off and sacrifice ourselves into the war machine. None of that has anything to do with Winnie the Pooh, and I don't know what he feels about colonialism or any of that stuff, but I do know that after he survived World War One, he was like, I am so lucky that I survived World War One, so I'm going to work very very

hard to try and create art. And he did. He was just an incredibly hard working author. And then the Winnie the Pooh books just kind of like took off rather than like ride them into the sunset. He did them for a while, and then he was like, you know what, I don't really want to do this anymore. And I have so much respect for that. So I don't know enough about him to really say anything one way or the other, but the stuff I've read about

him is interesting. Aa Milne, Winnie the Pooh, everyone, thanks for doing something fun with me. Chapter one, in which we are introduced to Winnie the Pooh and some bees and the stories begin. Here is Edward Bhaer coming downstairs. Now bump bump bump on the back of his head behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs. But sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it. And

then he feels that perhaps there isn't anyhow. Here he is at the bottom and ready to be introduced to you, Winnie the Pooh. When I first heard his name, I said, just as you were going to say. But I thought he was a boy, so did I said Christopher Robin. Then you can't call him Winnie. I don't. But you said he's Winnie their Pooh.

like about himself? Because he's that sort of bear. Oh, I see, so, could you very sweetly? I'll try, I said, so.

the middle of the forest. And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree, And from the top of the tree there came a loud, buzzing noise. Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree, put his head between his paws, and began to think. First of all, he said to himself that buzzing noise means something. You don't get a buzzy noise like that, just buzzing and buzzing without its meaning something. If there's a buzzing noise, somebody's.

I wonder why he does. Then he climbed a little further, and a little further, and then just a little further. By that time he had thought of another song. It's a very funny thought that if bears were bees, they build their nests at the bottom of trees, And that being so, if bees were bears, we shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs. He was getting rather tired by this time, so that is why he sang a

complaining song. He was nearly there now, and if he just stood on that branch, crack oh, help, said pooh, As he dropped ten feet on the branch below him. If only I hadn't, he said, as he bounced twenty feet on to the next branch. You see what I meant to do, he explained, as he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch thirty feet below. What I meant to do? Of course it was rather, he admitted, as he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.

It all comes, I suppose, he decided, as he said goodbye to the last branch, spun round three times, and flew gracefully into a gorse bush. It all comes of liking honey so much. Oh help. He crawled out of the gorse bush, brushed the prickles from his nose, and began to think again. And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.

you're coming. Now, if you have a green balloon, they might think you were only part of the tree and not notice you. And if you had a blue balloon, well they might think you were only part of the sky and not notice you. The question is which is most likely. Wouldn't they notice you beneath the balloon, you asked? They might or they might not, said Winnie the Pooh. You never can't tell with bees. He thought for a moment and said, I shall try to look like a small black cloud.

to the string. You let go suddenly, and Pooh Bear floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there, level with the top of the tree, about twenty feet away from it. Hooray, you shouted. Isn't that fine? Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you. What do I look like? You look like a bear holding on to a balloon, you said, not, said Pooh anxiously. Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky. Not very much. Ah well, perhaps from up here it looks different. And as I say,

you never can tell with bees. There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree, and so there he stayed. He could see the honey, he could smell the honey, but he couldn't quite reach the honey. After a little while, he called down to you, Christopher Robin, He said, in a loud whisper, Hello, I think the bees suspects something. What sort of thing, I don't know, but something tells me that they're suspicious. Perhaps they think you're after their honey, and maybe that you never can

tell with bees. There was another little silence, then he called down to you again, Christopher Robin. Yes, have you an umbrella in your house? I think so I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it and look up at me every now and then and say tut tut. It looks like Rain. I think if you did that, it would help the

deception which we are practicing on these bees. Well, you laughed to yourself, silly old bear, or you didn't say it aloud because you were so fond of him, and he went home.

and then got up again. Christopher ow Robin called out the cloud. Yes, I have just been thinking, and I have come to a very important decision. These are the wrong sorts of bees? Are they quite the wrong sort? So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey, shouldn't you? Would they?

would spoil me. When he put it like this, you saw how it was, and you aimed very carefully at the balloon and fired ow, said Pooh, did I miss?

always called Pooh. Is that the end of the story, asked Christopher Robin. That's the end of one. There are others about Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and all of you. Don't you remember? I do remember, It's just that when I try to remember, I forget that day when Pooh and Piglet tried to catch the heffalump Oh. They didn't catch it, did they No, Pooh couldn't because he hasn't any brain. Did I catch it? Well, that comes into the story, Christopher Robin nodded, I do remember,

he said, Only Pooh doesn't very well. So that's why he likes having it told to him again, because then it's a real story and not just a remembering. That's just how I feel, I said. Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh, picked up his bear by the leg, and walked off to the door, trailing Poo behind him. At the door, he turned around and said, coming to see me have my bath? I might, I said, it didn't hurt him when I shot him? Did it? Not a bit?

He nodded and went out, And in a moment I heard Winnie the Pooh bump bump bump going up the stairs behind him, and what he also heard was the sweet serenade of advertisers singing an evening song, unless you have cooler zon media, in which case you just hear the interjections and we're back, all right. I'm a skip chapter two because it's just literally about Winnie the Pooh getting stuck in a door and being too fat, and

so they starve him because that sucks. I mean whatever, I'm not trying to canceled Winnie the Pooh, but I'm not going to read it. I'm going to read chapter three, which is in which Pooh and Piglet go hunting and nearly catch a woozle. And I'm totally reading this one because of the name that comes up in the first paragraph, because it's so sick. The Piglet lived in a very grand house in the middle of a beach tree, and the beach tree was in the middle of the forest,

and Piglet lived in the middle of the house. Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had Trespasser's W on it. When Christopher Robbin asked the Piglet what it meant, he said it was his grandfather's name and had been in the family for a long time. Christopher Robin said, you couldn't be called Trespasser's w and Piglet said, yes, you could, because his grandfather was and

it was short for Trespasser's will, which was short for trespassers. William, and his grandfather had had two names in just in case he lost one, Trespassers after an uncle and William after Trespassers. I've got two names, said Christopher Robin carelessly.

I ask myself, what what do you think you'll answer? I shall have to wait until I catch up with it, said Winnie the Pooh. Now look there, he pointed to the ground in front of him. What do you see there, track, said Piglet. Pall marks. He gave a little squeak of excitement. Oh, Pooh, do you think it's a a woozle? It may be, said Pooh. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. You can never tell with pall marks, But these few words. He went on tracking in Piglet after watching him for

a minute or two ran after him. Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop and was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way. What's the matter, asked Piglet. It's a very funny thing, said Bear. But there seems to be two animals now, This whatever it was, has been joined by another, whatever it is, and the two of them are now proceeding in company. Would you mind coming with me, Piglet, in case they turn out

to be hostile animals? Piglet scratched his ear in a nice sort of way and said that he had nothing to do until Friday, and he would be delighted to come in case it really was a woozle. You mean, in case it really is two woozles, said Winnie the Pooh, and Piglet said that anyhow, he had nothing to do until Friday, so off they went together. There was a small spinney of larch trees just there, and it seemed as if the two woozle so if that's what they were,

had been going round this spinney. So round the spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them, Piglet passing the time by telling Pooh what his grandfather Trespasser's w had done to remove stiffness after tracking, and how his grandfather Trespasser's W had suffered in his later years from shortness of breath and other matters of interest, and Pooh wondering what a grandfather was like, and if perhaps this was two grandfathers they were after now, and if so, whether he

would be allowed to take one home and keep it, and what Christopher Robin would say, And still the tracks went on in front of them. Suddenly Winnie the Pooh stopped and pointed excitedly in front of him. Look what, said Piglet, with a jump, And then to show that he hadn't been frightened, he jumped up and down once or twice more in an exercising sort of way. The tracks, said Pooh. A third animal has joined the other two. Pooh cried Piglet. Do you think it's another woozl No,

said Pooh, because it makes different marks. It is either too woozles and one as it might be whizzle, or two as it might be whizzles and one. If it is so woozle, let us continue to follow them. And so they went on, feeling just a little bit anxious. Now in case the three animals in front of them were of hostile intent, and Piglet wished very much that

his grandfather tw were there instead of elsewhere. And Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robbin suddenly, but quite accidentally, and only because he liked Christopher Robin so much. And then all of a sudden, Winnie the Pooh stopped again and licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner, for he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever before in his life. There were four animals in front of them, do you see, Piglet, look at their tracks, Three as it were woozles, and

one as it was whizzle. Another woozle has joined them, And so it seemed to be. There were the tracks crossing over each other here, getting muddied up with each other there, but quite plainly every now and then.

do in the afternoon, said Piglet quickly. It's a very particular morning thing, and it has to be done in the morning, and if possible, between the hours of what would you say?

glad to be out of all danger again. Christopher Robin came slowly down this tree, silly old bear, He said, what were you doing? First? You went round the spinny twice by yourself, and then Piglet ran after you, and you went round again together, and then you were just going round.

it involves three British men. It involves Milne who wrote Winnie the Pooh, it involves Tolkien, who wrote Lord of the Rings, and involves a man named Michael Moorecock, who's a pulp anarchist fantasy author writing more in the sixties and seventies, and who's still alive today, most famous these days as the person who created the chaos start. He wrote an essay called The Epic Pooh in which he

just trashes on Lord of the Rings. He's it's like a well written, just absolutely eviscerating critique of Lord of the Rings, which I obviously therefore completely disagree with, because Lord of the Rings is perfect in every way and specifically a critique the idea. So Winnie the Pooh is being used to represent like the ultimate British cozy fantasy, where like, you're not worried about shit, and I think that's fair. That's what Winnie the Pooh represents. But it's

about fucking stuffed animals and it's for a kid. So I don't think you can get mad at Winnie the Pooh, but to claim basically the argument that Morecock makes. It's

been a little while since I read this essay. The argument he makes is that the Hobbits represent the rural British and basically the like, you know, stick your heads in the sand attitude of the world, where you're like, well, my life is fine, So everyone's life is fine despite all of this like horror and bloodshed happening just outside the Shire or just outside you know, England or whatever.

And so basically Morecock critiques Lord of the Rings as being like too cozy, too neat, to like, ah, we're off to the war and we come back again. And I think that there's parts of this that are fair

and parts of that aren't. I think that Lord of the Rings is actually specifically like at least Tolkien and Milne fought in World War One, right, and Milne actually fought in World War Two also in the same way that Orwell did, which was as part of the Home Guard, which was the people who were running around in case and were like training to fight in case the Nazis invaded England, which was a very real possibility that did

not happen. And so even though he was in his I want to say, fifties or sixties, Milne was Captain Milne, although he made all of the people under him, and just call him mister Milne because he's like that. And so to accuse Tolkien now, I'm just standing up for Tolkien's honor. It's sorry, more cock. If you're listening, you might have been more right than me. I don't know

whatever to accuse Tolkien of. Like sanitizing war is a very interesting thing, because trench combat in World War One is like kind of the worst thing I seen imagine having happen in your life, and it's usually the end of your life. It's often the end of your life, you know. And actually one of the core ideas I think on some level, I think Tolien is aware that the Hobbits are representing this, you know, sort of British attitude or whatever. Right, but they come home again changed.

That's like one of the core parts of it, right. Some of them come home like braver and stronger, but some of them just come home like fuck them broken, you know. Anyway, That's how I can tie Winnie the Pooh into Lord of the rings, you're welcome, have a good week. And also there's exciting stuff coming around the bend for cools on Media Book Club that we're gonna

be able to change up the content pretty soon. I've been enjoying this sort of content, but we've got like a bunch of ideas and it's going.

Defenders of the Wild. And if you're thinking, but I don't know that board game, or even I don't play tabletop roleplaying games, you actually still might like this book. It's from Outlandish Games, and it is a standalone thing. You don't need the board game to play it. But it's also an almanac. That's why it's called The Defender's Almanac. And it's basically I wrote. I didn't write the game mechanics or anything like that other people who are better

at that did it. I wrote a lot of stories of anthropomorphic animals coming together, finding bravery and fighting machines because I like doing that sort of thing, and you can get it now. It's out, it's available. That's what I got. I'll see you all next week for another episode of pool Zone Media Book Club. It could Happen here as a production of cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from.