2023 Predictions

did that. That's how much he needs to everybody. Everybody gets angry at my best in Austen Jesus Australian, what do you do it? Boston is the Australia of the northeast. So this episode we're going to be going through our predictions. Prediction number one, Robert might not make Oh no sofa. You predict that every year and it's barely ever true, little piece of you guys. Every year, Robert's gonna get through drunk and buy a plane ticket to Boston, then

get lost and never returned. It's okay, Garrison, I can I can blend in. I blend in with my seamless Boston accent. No, you'll no one will be able to understand you in a foreign country, just like trying to like, why are you just doing Australia. It's it's it's Boston, you know, at the Home of the Koala. Be not my fault that all accents of insuring possibly trying to get back on track. So, yeah, what are we doing today? What are we doing? Who are we trying? We're trying.

We'll work it up in here. There's the same people on this one, this last episode as Sharne Me Garrison, James Sophie, our producer Mia and Bad Boston impersonator Robert Evans. And we're talking about what we think might happen in I feel I don't I don't remember all of our predictions for last year, but I feel like we got most of them correct. I think we were right about everything. Yeah, so to to continue that to trend um, what do

we think is going to happen this year? Um, I think Elon Musk might wind up sod to pieces by the Saudiast. It's like there's like a solid there is a non zero chance, you know. Okay. The thing, the thing that's actually the most sort of surprising me about that is that the SoftBank guy is still alive, like as as as much Saudi money as Elon has blown through the SoftBank guy like like fucking SoftBank guy lit the GDP of a regular country on fire in sty

like in the most batship companies in the world. It's amazing how bad they are the money by being landlords. Do you know how hard it is to lose money with a landlording business. It's a German guy who wrote

a book about it. Oh anyways, I think we'll get a really good leak from the British royal family doing something absolutely despicable, and then just a but like it really high but high quality audio or video, hopefully video, and then video of what Prince Andrew's doing, and then it will make and then it will make UK politics even worse than it already is. Yeah. Yeah, that that part I disagree with. But yes to horrifying leak from

the British Royal horrifying league. Horrifying leak yeah from like I honestly I don't know how British politics could be worse. That Star is gonna win an election and somehow make it even worse despite being notionally the left party in the United Kingdom. I gotta say, somebody has to get you people on lockdown for the name scure Starmer. That's not a that's not a name you know, familiar with kar Starma, the leader of the opposition. Unbelievable. I'm livid.

Mm hmm yeah, well wait, but no I'm not. We had Boris Johnson and it really can't get anyway. Yeah. I never forgave you guys for letting a Boris into power. Can I get my bad pop please? I think I think I think Pete Davidson will date a high a high profile politician in the next year. I think Sophie a better one Davidson. That's a that's a free space. Sorry, I have I have, I have, I have a better one. Davidson is going Pete Davidson is going to date Grimes.

That's on everybody's list. That's seven times he's going to impregnate some that's my take. That's boring. Um. I think that we're going to find out something juicier. All right, well, um, you know it's it'd be easy to stick with like pretty grim predictions like oh it is going to be a mass shooting at a drugs like it happen because that seems that's let's let less to prediction and more just like looking at where the temperature is going. Can I do my hack version of that that's sleituless hack,

which I think. I think we're going to get an actual shootout between armed fascist and armanti fascist in a city that the press actually cares about, so not Portland's. That is entirely possible. We haven't. We haven't had a shootout in Portland yet. I mean, that's the kind of there's been an exchange of gunfire. Why don't you all talk at the same fucking time and make Daniel's life hard one of you speacause we hate Daniel. Welcome to Daniel. Yeah, I love the year we break Daniel. We have had

an exchange of gunfire though, no, we have not. I think she means like, oh my god, it has not gotten better. It has gotten better. We have had a person shooting into a crowd and another person shooting that person. We have had people fire at each other, um, but we have not had two different people exchange gunfire with each other a group like and neither if we had groups of people exchange gunfire with each other, that has not occurred yet. Um, I agree. I think there's a

real good chance it does. Um. I'm I'm more worried about the police opening fire on a group of anti fascists and the fascists joining them. But like, all of those things are are on the fucking table, and it gets more likely every time we roll the dice on that ship. Yeah. Uh. One thing that gives me some hope is how the recent events in Texas have been going. Um, the size of the community that has been showing up

at the last couple of drag events. Um. And how outnumbered the right has been as a general rule, if anything is going to make it less likely that either the police or the fascists fire, um, it's being tremendously outnumbered. Um. So I don't know, I'm I'm, I'm in between a hopeful and despairing about like where future of that's going to be. Here's my hopeful prediction, Crypto dot com Arena will not be named Crypto dot com Arena by the end of the year. That is my hope and dream.

I do think that crypto dot com is well. I mean, it looks like binances on its way to collapsing, slightly less badly than ft X did, but it looks like it's not going to be around much longer. UM in Crypto dot Com is kind of in a similar space. I think there's actually a real chance that we see the functional death of cryptocurrency. UM, we've already seen it be named a normal thing and not something viciously embarrassing. Robert, It's it's still going to be embarrassing because they paid

for that. I think it's just like ft X paid like a hundred and fifty million dollars up front to get their name on that stadium and Florida. Um, they are trying to change it, but I think they're stuck with it for a little scam stadium. I'd rather be called scam stadium literally. Yeah, yeah, the Charles Ponzi memorial. I still understand how you go from here's office supplies to that. It's so embarrassing and like it doesn't even flow. Okay,

I could we're not doing this right now. Yeah, I think that we should change the Crypto dot Com stadium. We should name it after Bad Dragon, that company that makes buildos themed after mythological creatures based Yeah. I this isn't like hopeful, but I feel like there's going to be another virus because there are some people that are going too hard in the other direction. I feel like every year there might be a new virus introduced that

we're going to yeah, and theories about where it came from. Yeah. But then like, but we're like past the point of being able to lock down, you know what I mean, Like I think like that's what's gonna make it start. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah. Part of one of the scary things about the COVID response is that the how politicize the concept of a lockdown er mask wearing has gotten means that there's effectively no way for US culture to stim the spread of an airborne virus. Like it's impossible, there's

not even a chance. Um, we've done used to parachute and don't use it again. We we we lit the parachute on fire. Yeah, Yeah, to own the lips. Yeah. I I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I haven't done because I don't think it's feasible for work. But I would love. I think people are going to start using flip phones more. They think like

people are going to step away turn to traditions. Yeah, because there's even like a psychological study going on right now where a bunch of teens did that, and like they've reported much better lives or whatever the ship. So I would love people myself, but I think more people

are going to go. I saw a graph the other day saying the happiest that American teens have reported themselves being was the early two thousand's, right around when I graduated high school, and all we could do with our phones was text each other to buy drugs and play Snake. And that's all kids need is the ability to play Snake and buy ketamine ump you at the same time. Yep, that's what it's going to do. The arena next, it's gonna be the Ktamine arena. Well do you know do

you know who could buy the arena? Rob Evans, any of these products and services that that support this podcast. That's right, and we're back in this is this is this is a section that we're calling death. This is who is going to die? Can I start this one? Yeah, it's gonna it's gonna be Nom Chomsky. That's that's that's

who I'm willing I think is going to die. I think we're going to have the worst two or three weeks a lot of times the media that we've seen in years, it's gonna make it's gonna make it's it's gonna it's gonna make pog patrol discourse look like tame, like we're like people, people are good, people are on ironically gonna be doing Stalin as a POC discourse again. And as you have to explain it, you have to. You have to pause and explain all of this because

nobody no reason to understanding. We have to. We have to blaze through that and pretend it never happens. I don't know what pog patrol is. I imagine how you don't, Okay, I I legitimately refused to explain that. Um, if if you want me to, great, you need to pay me more that I'm being paid. Okay, all right, yeah, I'm sure someone will DM me now to explain it. Thank you very They're the they're they're the people who are behind all of this insufferable left wing discourse that occasionally

breaks through. They did round two of Ann Frank, white privileged discourse that happened Jump off a bridge anyway, death death, Who Musk? You think Elon mus is gonna die? It's like I'm making a hail Mary elon Musk. It's gonna be Musk drug addiction. Maybe maybe he maybe he shoots himself yoga in his duffle bag when he shoots himself in the back of the head by accident. That's very specific, James. It's almost like you planned that out. It's almost like

someone already did it. What I think. I think Joe Biden's gonna die. Um. I think it's just makes sense physiologically, like I have that in my head too. I didn't specifically Joe. I said, whoever is? I said, one of the two people running for president in that are the clear front runners. One of the two will die, causing it, causing the election to be even more stupid than it already. Is my runner around Nancy Pelosi. But she'll be at Vinyards,

She's gonna be thriving, and all that will happen. If Pelosi people will sell out of those weird political like action figures, We're just we'll just sell out of all the Nancy Pelosi ones. That that's all that will happen. If if if I'm not saying I want her to die or not want her to die, I just think those are the two people that every time I see them, I'm like, how are how you know that Boris Johnson? I think he like that man has lift a rough one.

I wouldn't be shown to if he You know, what would be the funniest feminut You know, would be the funniest thing based on what if? What if? What if the king dies a year after the queen. There's a decent ship. You've seen his fingers. That man is not healthy. Yeah, that would be so funny. It would be pretty funny if it ended up with Megan mack will being queen after you will, just because people he has so much mun what I what I will throw out there. I

think there's a decent chance it's Flintes. I think he's gotten Nick Fuintes his his his profile has increased so much so quickly, and he gets killed by one of his Yeah, I think there's a good chance it's one of the fans he's already had. It wasn't that wasn't Louis Rockwell? Yeah, yeah, I mean hack of a fraud. Part of why I think that there's a chance of that is the weird sex related drama he's had with a number of his followers, like he's already messing in

those like wading into those waters. Um, he's he's done ship like going over their rooms with a black light and stuff. Like he's had weird, uncomfortable relations like relationships with his followers that are like distressingly personal. Um in a way that makes me think that one of them might lose it on him. Um, I don't know. I think there's a non zero chance it's flintes. He gets sat at. Yeah, he gets swatted. I'm less worried about. Yeah,

I think like murdered by another weirdo, right winger. There's a decent chance, said a good thing come out. I think Rudy's dying. Oh here's something which Rudy Juliani. I disagree. You think he's gonna going to live forever. Yeah, I think he died four years ago. To be fair, that man, he's made of wax and melting. He is thriving. Another example of that, I just read a great interview with him in Cigara Ficionado magazine. Um, my favorite fact about Rudy.

So you're not supposed to inhale cigars unless you're one of a tiny chunk of people who think that that's the right way to smoke them. And Rudy's in it, Hailer, Ruddy sucks that here. Do you know? Do you know who else is it in Hailer is Stephen Crowder and we know that he's had a series of pretty significant

medical issues. I think Stephen Crowder goes back in the hospital and I think I think he'll survive, but he will have to like live like in like he'll have to be like hooked up to like machinery to be able to keep going. So he's gonna he's gonna be doing his show while hooked up to medical equipment. I think that is that is another one of my is

not healthy right, he's ever that's going. There's a Twitter dedicated to if he's gonna die or not There there is a Twitter dedicade into if Twarn Peterson is going to die or not? Good good Speaking of a Twitter accounts, I do think I do think this is the year Kissinger. Yeah, I think I am never always bet against kissing Er. He's he's going to stay alive, Yeah, at least to see another election rig somewhere in the world or a coup.

But he's ninety nine, Okay, I think I think he gets to undred one, he gets he gets to like a D eight, he carries a longer, way, longer than what he should a hundred hundred nine. Maybe. How are people, because I know several of us have said this in the past, how are people feeling about Kanye? I think I think there's a decent chance, like, absolutely, seriously, absolutely seriously, there there's a decent chance that he dies from a

number of reasons. Garrison and I have talked about this a lot, and we both are on that side, so we think that's yeah, that's yeah, I agree with that. I think, yeah, um huh, Well, I think the real money is on, does Kanye take anyone with him? Oh my gosh, my god. But what he takes? What if together? Garrison, there's not terrible numbers on that's so likely that that is not a zero percent. Oh, I just got a just got a single spark of hope in my dead soul.

I think I think this is a year we lose Ojay. Oh wow. I saw him given interview the other day, and I mean it was he looked unwell. Oh j is just a kissinger. He somehow keeps winning even though he shouldn't the smart The smart money is never on betting against the juice god. Alright, well, uh do you do you know who else loves betting? The products and services that weird things that are autoats for us. Michael Jordan's dad for a while, Robert, that man was murdered. Yeah,

he found the Cambodian guy. He left betting problem a break? Or is this all before the break? Okay, who's to say so? Who's to say we have no idea? Alright, we're bad? Any hole mentions like any last throws? Really just say, I really hope it is in Britney Spears. Thank you so much. Oh my god. Alright, um, let's see. Uh so final predictions. Um, you know there is not the mid terms, right, there's no there's no significant kind

of election this year, at least inside the US. UM. I think this is this is a prection that's that's gonna hurt Sophie. I think something really bad comes out about Harry Styles, and I'm praying for it. I'm first of all that something really damaging it is going to come out about Harry Styles. I saw that I saw the only predictions I saw about Harry Styles that he was going to come out with a valve filled to see I let's go with that instead. That honestly, that

is so, that is so likely. I think Garrison is on the right track, though. I think whether it be there or somebody else, I think there's going to be a huge, huge pop celebrity scandal. Hopefully it's not here. Yeah, well there was one. I mean every year there's a celebrity scandal. I mean I don't know, Hard that's right, Sothie, that's right. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's going through some ship with I don't know. Sexual assault. Yeah,

it was in the early two thousand. He assaulted a bunch of people and the main person that's yesn't their backstrepe brothers who are backstree I'm like backs, but I'm like, really, actually, who are streams? Isn't that isn't that correct? But I think someone more relevant than Carter will will be expeedy. Another another prediction that's like less less of a prediction. We're just like looking at current trends and recent reporting um that there will be a big shift away from

like a shift away from solar towards nuclear fusion. I think that we're gonna, we're gonna. I think I think stuff is too far out. I but no, no, no no, I think on the governmental level, whether or not it works or not, there's going to be a big shift towards talking about fusion as the solution to climate stuff. I think that will particularly be influential around people who don't want to support meaningful climate change mitigation atestivities. Now like, yeah,

I agree with you. There like a shield, I have a chin to take, which is okay, So all right, it's really hard to get good information about exactly what so okay. One of the things, the thing that's been happening as a certain result of the protest is that CCP is done, like I don't know, they're doing a traditionally really stupid CCP response, which is that they've they've they've they basically flip their policy like on its head,

on its head in a lot of places. There's been a lot of like that they've they've they've gone very quickly from mobilizing state resources to like keep people in lockdowns, mobilizing state resources to forcing people to go to work. And it's really unclear exactly what like how bad like the COVID way you're going to get is I actually, I don't think it's going to be as bad as like the Really there's there's a lot of predictions that are like like a like a million people are gonna

die in like six months like now. I don't think that's true. But I think if COVID actually does get into this sort of like China has this very large population of like very like very very not vaxed like old people basically like particularly in rural areas, and if COVID gets into those people and those people start dying, I think we're gonna see ship in China that makes

like the current protests looks like a fucking joke. Like I think we're gonna see like like people like like party officials are going to be getting like dragged to the fucking streets like it's I don't know, Like I this has been one of my long running polief about Chinese society, which is I don't think you can actually kill a million people in China and not like like even even like a like forty or fifty people. I don't.

I don't think you can have the government just straight up to policies that kill that many people without stuff going really really fucking wild really quickly. And I think people are underestimating the extent to which expect, especially in in in these rural areas. If if those people start dying on mass I think it's gonna get fucking wild. Um. Yeah, that's my. That's my that's that's that's that's that's my

that's my China hot take. Alrighty already, I bet there's something horrific with a three D printed gun of some kind some and there's a whole bunch of panic. And yeah, that was the next thing I was going to say.

My prediction was gonna be there was going to be significant pressure on a federal level to ban the production of three D printed guns and on international level, Yeah, because I think there's a really good chance that happens somewhere in Europe in the same way that like you had, you had the Botto Clout massacre kind of done using um remilitarized demail like prop guns, And I think there's a good chance that we get something maybe out of Germany,

um with a high body count that that pushes internationally for restrictions and crackdowns. Anyone to have a prediction on who Trump will pick as is running me oho Sarah Payton. I think it could be back. I think I could get honestly, honestly though honestly though, like if you're if you're on the ground in Alaska, like almost every single person that because Jamie was just was working on a store for us that space, because they like her. They're

they're like, she's not bad. We don't get it. Literally, she's so popular. Yeah. So I don't know who who Trump's gonna pick. There's so many people he could that feel like too obvious or too much like they're too popular that they could threaten Trump's like like singular brand, because I don't think he wants another big voice. I don't want someone to be slightly passive. I don't think he's not going to pick yeah, exactly, I don't know which one, but I think he'll pick a black Republican.

I think that's that's yea whoever loud. I don't think he can't. He shall Walker Garrison crazy speak that into being. I don't, but also I can imagine that I think is that I think Walker lost and he does not. He does not like losers, I think, which is why he hated John McCain who lost Vietnam. I think I'll probably I think I think I see him picking a woman. Oh, I see him picking a woman, which is what will be good for his optics. I just I just don't

know what. I just don't know a woman that's either like high profile enough but still quiet enough that love and Sarah Palin. It doesn't matter what they love. What matters is that Trump doesn't want somebody who could who has the potential of distracting attention from him, And she's been a big enough media figure in her own right that I think he'd be worried about it. I think Kanye, No, they hate each other. Now, I'm just saying that's the vibe I'm getting from what I think, what I think

he thinks will help him. Like a black man that can speak kind of the same way Kanye speaks to his audience, like maybe before the anti Semitic ship, but just a black man Republican, I think is what will happen.

I think he has two flanks that he can be hit from the Republican Party, and one flank is just like the anti vax flank, and then his second flank is like someone who tries to tap into the evangelical voters who were kind of piss off at him, And I mean I feel like I think Santist will probably

go after that. Yeah, but but but but but I think I think I think he's going to pick someone either to show him up in the anti vax front, or he's going to pick some like like some someone who every evangelical knows and who no one else has ever heard of. I think the latter is more likely with those options, or somebody from his family. I think he's I think he's that that would be really funny.

Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr. Yes, it's going to be now, it would be Yeah, I think she's too woke, She's like, I think it would absolutely be a banca because he doesn't even out some respect for the rest of them. But I think doesn't want to. Then that's why that's that's actually not unlikely. Like if he is going to pick a woman, I think that is actually that's who I would predict. I my money is still

on herschel Walker. But I think that is that that is not a non zero chance, Or he goes somebody that's not even remotely in the game at all. Yeah, that's that's likely that's likable in you know, either a religious community or you know somebody that's on TV. But isn't somebody that's on TV and in your face? Um? But yeah, so like it's not picking like a Kimberly Gilfoil or anything like that, which would be so fucking awful. Oh my god, I thought about it. It's really bad

for all of our ears. But yeah, so I don't know it's gonna be bad. Okay, Can I ask a slightly like related election take on that? Do do do you do? You? Do you guys think that Mike Pants is going to run against Trump? No? No, he's making a stake about No, of course not. I don't think he'll actually run. I think he'll just, um, if there's somebody that he deems that's like, you know, a true Republican and a true conservative, um, then he will pencil

back to ship out of that. I feel like it's gonna be I feel like there's gonna be another person who's not the Santist who's gonna learn. I agree, there's going to be another Prantis like that man on a state he has no career, Robert, And I don't think he's going to run. We don't think he's going to run.

We think he'll waited out for the next one. I think he'll I don't think he's going to run if Trump is running, in particular, like especially if Kanye is still in the news, like it's too messy, and he's young enough that he doesn't need to win this time, and he's so unfortunately well liked in the state of Florida that like he yeah, he's safe there, but he's smart enough to know that like going up against Trump, even if he wins, could get enough stink on him

that it sucks him over in the future as opposed to just holding on. He'll be forty six in which is one of the youngest, would make him still one of our youngest presidents. Yeah, and he can spend four more years just like, you know, sniping at whoever. Yeah, just being a real big old piece of ship murder giant. Yeah. Well, I hope none of us diet next year. I hope us. And thank my anxiety breed works. I had to say it, so it's not true, you know what I mean, that's

how my anxiety. I'm sorry. I just had to thank you, thank you Sherne. I appreciate that. I too, I too wish that. Yeah, we got some work trips planned. Al don't catastrophize, no, okay, And I think I think that's that's will die. Twitter dot com will not be a website. That's a very likely in most I think there'll be

a big shake up with Uh. There'll be a big story about healthcare and how how certain people are not diagnosed over other people, and it's going to be become a huge thing, and there's gonna be a huge story about that at some points. Yeah, I mean that would that would. There's been you know, a little, little little baby stories about about certain things, but I think it's gonna become a a global issue. Yeah, and more we will see more bullshit about migration than we have done.

A good climate change is getting worse. Everything that drives migration is getting worse, and it will continue to be this fucking strong man that Republicans use. So we're already seeing like Y two k and early two thousand's nostalgia. And the bizarre thing is that there's not much of a culture after that because around that time when we was when we started to reset into like eighties nostalgia. So I'm wondering what the next nostalgia cycle is going

to be. I think like like things like like like in Britain, like they're the whole landfill indie culture that came around in like they're like late the first decade of this center. Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Maybe maybe like hippie seventies. I saw a video of of a youth, just tell them a youth trying on one of those cursed stretch comb ahead bands. Stop it. Those things fucking hurt. You're gonna hurt yourself. You're gonna poke something.

It's gonna be bad. They're not cute. No going to brack. We don't read that repse already back. I already keep seeing them and the little, the little plastic Bengals back the yes, yeah, God, please don't bring you back. New medals coming back. We're gonna we're gonna do it. We're gonna we're gonna get new Battle, We're gonna get the we're gonna get early two thousand's, like goth bullshit coming back.

That's already started. My My prediction, my prediction it he's bringing it back, is that SKA will continue to be the most relevant genre of music in American culture. Um fact, unchanged for thirty years. Alright, well, thanks listening to our Predictions episode. Everybody. Well, we'll talk about it, We'll talk to you, We'll be back. You know it's day Sperne, stop talking about a death. Yeah, it could happen here

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