Upgrade Interests to Commitment

In today's podcast , I'm going to be giving you guys some tough love . Today , we're going to be talking about the difference between having interest and commitment . Let's first talk about your interests . That could be interest in being a patient parent around your children , stopping smoking , stopping drinking and , yes , muslims drink alcohol .

They know it's a sin , but they engage in it because of various reasons , and that's a topic for another day . But you also might be interested in finding a life partner , getting married , might be interested in learning a new language or having children .

So you have interest in getting all of these things done and you spend a lot of time thinking about all of these . Just because you spend time thinking about something , fantasizing about the time when you reach the finish line , when you create that goal , it does not make it a commitment .

Spending a lot of time thinking about an interest , so it feels like a commitment , but it's actually not a commitment . When you know it's a commitment is when you start to work towards it . You dedicate time and energy and you show it with your actions that you're committed to a task , and you will feel uncomfortable .

Thinking constantly about an interest and fantasizing about it actually feels really good . There's a certain dopamine release attached to that . Thinking about how good it will feel when you have accomplished the goal is not commitment , because before it feels good , it will feel bad . The work towards the goal will feel all sorts of uncomfortable . That's the commitment .

Interest also means I want to do many things , but I'm not going to commit to doing all of them all at the same time . For me personally , I'm interested in learning Arabic . I'm interested in clean dishes . I'm also interested in learning new strokes of swimming . I'm interested in coaching Muslim women into their peak mental fitness .

I'm interested in practicing medicine . I'm interested in learning Spanish . I'm interested in learning Spanish . I'm interested in having thriving indoor plant babies . I'm interested in healthy meals for our family and I'm interested in a balanced life , a balance between world and spirituality .

While I carry all of these interests , I'm only committed to a few , and that's evident by a few of my dying indoor plants . I thought I was committed about keeping them alive , but apparently I was only interested . But I am committed to my faith , my career as a physician and in coaching Muslim women .

The difference between my interests and commitments is quite clear by my actions . If you come to me for coaching and you're interested in a bunch of things and not committed to one , coaching will not work . First thing we work on is clarifying what you want to commit to , so then we can direct your energy towards that one thing .

Otherwise , you will be wasting energy thinking about interests and you will have no results . Coaching involves gaining clarity about what you want to commit to . Sometimes that commitment feels scary .

So in our coaching relationship we create a safe space around commitment and failing and forgiving yourself for being a human and continuing to go down the checklist of celebrating failures and celebrating successes .

We can totally use coaching to gain access to your commitment , but you have to commit to something being interested in anything and everything in the world , like learning to ride a motorcycle or being a professional makeup artist or becoming a master of the Jweed but committing to one thing through your actions .

As we celebrate Eid al-Adha , I am reminded of the commitment of the Prophet Ibrahim . He was commanded to sacrifice his son . Just imagine for a second what level of commitment it required of him . The command came and he acted . That is one level of commitment to Allah , one that we can all strive for , and imagine our states compared to that .

Imagine the state when we freak out over a report card of our child and imagine Ibrahim as with his son , on top of a mountain with a knife , with the intention of sacrificing him for the sake of Allah . This story might sound too graphic , whose nervous systems have been shaped to live in the Western culture .

To us it seems unnatural that a human being can even be imagined doing that to a child , but in reality , nothing dangerous actually happened , and this story is what we celebrate to this day . That is the level of true commitment , committed not just with thoughts and feelings , not with just faith , but also with actions .

Imagine the level of commitment that requires a belief in Allah , also with actions . Imagine the level of commitment that requires a belief in Allah . That is a whole new level of commitment that is required of us about believing in Allah . It is not just interest in believing , it was not just interest in Islam .

It was true commitment Observable by actions , and definitely not an easy thing to do . Difference between interest and commitment is actions . Are you committed to losing weight ? Are you committed to being patient with your children ? Are you committed to making money in the corporate world ?

Are you committed to showing up as a woman that is on fire , committed to being a woman who owns every room she enters just because everyone in the room that she is committed , because they can see that in her actions ?

Remember , others are only able to see your behavior , even if it is non-verbal body language , and others can only judge you on what is observable to them , which is your actions . We as human beings are unaware of the metaphysical of the thoughts and feelings that lie behind the action . The metaphysical of thoughts and feelings is only known to Allah Collectively .

A mistake we make as Muslims is that we judge people's actions and we deem them a lower quality Muslim than us , based on their behavior . We are missing such a huge part of the puzzle . We do not have all the information about their internal state , of their thoughts and feelings .

We do not know about their level of faith , making this type of judgment so harmful to us and others . Everyone is trying to navigate their own difficulties . We are passing judgments based on what we see , which is just the surface . As Muslim women , we could easily avoid judging people on their actions because we can just remind ourselves .

I have no knowledge of their internal state , I don't know what they've gone through and what they're going through right now . I don't know what has led them to this behavior . And if I can't physically do anything to support them , I can commit to not judging them .

Maybe their thoughts and feelings render them so faithful to their religion that they will outshine us on the day of judgment . And here we are , passing judgments on a superficial level , just based on their actions .

And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala , the all-knowing , will make judgments based on our circumstances , thoughts , feelings of every moment of our lives thoughts , feelings of every moment of our lives .

So , based on this and the formula I teach you guys , ctfar , which is circumstances , thoughts , feelings , actions and results , commitment shows up in two places One in your feelings and the other one in your actions .

If you're thinking I want to lose weight , but you're not creating commitment with your actions and you're not making a list of what healthy foods you're going to be eating and you're not making a fasting schedule and you're eating ice cream day in and day out without changing your patterns , you're not showing commitment with your actions .

This is where you can feel committed all you want , but you're not committed in your actions . This is where the commitment is only lying in feelings .

So the point I'm trying to make here is that , no matter how committed you actually feel with your emotions , this will only qualify you as interested in losing weight , and that is not a bad thing , because every commitment starts with interest . But I don't want you to fool yourself .

Keep it at the interest level so at least , when you don't lose weight and you don't see the results , you're not beating yourself up . Constantly obsessing over weight loss and creating mental chatter will feel like commitment , but it will not give you any results because you're not taking any actions towards it .

So call it an interest and relieve yourself of the torture . You can commit to it when you're ready . If you are committed to making money , you might have thoughts like with my education , I'm extremely well suited to provide great value to the world and I can be of service and I can do my job well in exchange of a comfortable lifestyle .

You can have all of these thoughts leading you to feel committed to making money . But if your actions are that you get disheartened at the first rejection of the interview and you drop your entire story , these actions are not in alignment with your thoughts . You're just interested in making money .

You're not committed to making money Because a level of commitment will require multiple times not getting callbacks , multiple failed interviews , repeated effort , and all of that is uncomfortable , it is gut-wrenching and it is hard work . Commitment is a whole new level of human capacity .

Prophet Ibrahim , father of the Abrahamic religions , took commitment to its highest level . He showed with his actions where his faith lies . May Allah protect us from tests that put our faith in jeopardy .

But luckily for most of us , we're facing very non-life-threatening type of commitments and tests in life , like am I committed to my higher education or spending weekends on outings with my friends ? Put your money where your mouth is ?

That phrase means show me with your actions what you say you're committed to , because if you don't , I know you're only interested , which , again , there's nothing wrong with that . Every commitment starts with interest . But don't confuse the two . Don't think that being interested in something is going to get you the result . It's not .

Constantly thinking about something is not going to get you the results , even though it feels like commitment . You can be constantly talking to your friends about it . You can have vision boards . You can be creating all the hype you want on social media around your commitment , but doing it with your actions and creating hype are two different things .

The difference between interest versus commitment . Interest is just the beginning . Commitment is the path . You can be interested in many things , but you can only be committed to one . Even if , at a given time , you're committed to doing more than one thing , you can actively do only one thing at a time .

If you're learning how to paint , you're showing your commitment towards your artistic side . If you're learning how to be a patient parent with your children and dinner time , you're showing your commitments towards being a better parent . Both of these commitments towards your artistic side and being a better parent they're going hand in hand .

But you cannot execute more than one commitment at the same time . I hope you guys understand the difference . It is not humanly possible to pay active attention to more than one thing at a time . You can actively learn and be committed to only one thing . Passively , you can do more than one thing Identify all of your interests .

Identify which out of those interests carry the most weight so that you can commit to them . The interests you have will always be more than what you want to commit to in a given time .

This way , at least , you come out of the language of oh I want to do so many things , but somehow I never do them , and you will come out of the trap of identifying yourself as somebody who can't commit . If you're committed to health and fitness , then dedicate some time to it Any time , small or large . Upgrade it from interest to commitment .

Do it deliberately , do it intentionally , swirling in the interest of a healthy lifestyle without taking even small action steps towards it , and telling yourself you're not an athletic person . That is just heedlessness , that is a state of ghafla .

What drives me up the wall I mean drives me absolutely insane is when people come to me and say that they've been interested in achieving this goal for many years , but they don't think they're the kind of person who can do it . Really . I mean really . How much have you committed to this interest ? How much time have you committed to this interest ?

And by that I don't mean just thinking time , I mean how much effort , how much pain , how much blood , sweat and tears have you committed ? How much money have you committed towards this interest ? And by this I don't mean continue to feel bad and spin in your thoughts until you've reached your goal . How much mind management have you committed towards your goal ?

People that come to me and say that they're committed but they can't see results , but yet are not willing to put effort with mind management , I tell them you're not ready and that's okay , but please find me when you're ready to commit . The women I coach are extraordinarily wonderful .

They are dedicated to their careers and they're committed to their families , communities , their religion , but then they also have doubts that they're not a good mother because they have a job or they're not a good citizen because they don't have a job .

Be committed to coming out of this feeling horrible all the time , because your brain will tell you something's gone wrong , regardless of when you have a job or when you don't . Be committed to directing your brain so that it serves you .

Be committed to learning to command your mind into becoming the best mother , the best professional and the best Muslimah possible , or whatever it is that you want to be . I take a lot of pride in my commitment to coaching Muslim women out of the traps of their mind . I am committed to showing up in this podcast weekly for you .

I am committed to provide private coaching and group coaching in my program . I am committed to providing webinars , and all of this might change based on what I think people require for me to do , but I will always show up with commitment in my actions .

Inshallah , I am committed to providing mental fitness for the Muslim woman and if you're ready for that level of commitment , sign up for my program . Otherwise , you're welcome to stay interested and keep listening to this podcast .

Nothing wrong with that , but call it what it is an interest you might feel you want mental health , what it is an interest you might feel you want mental health . You will feel committed in your bones , but you are only just feeling it in the body level . When you up-level your commitment to your actions , your whole life will change .

Until then , I pray that we can follow the example of Prophet Ibrahim in showing a fraction of commitment that he did . I pray to Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , that we value our interests enough to commit to them . I pray for clarity in my message and I pray that you don't make it mean to commit means that you have to feel terrible all the time .

Feeling terrible towards your commitment means that you're letting your lower brain run your life rather than your commanding brain , your higher self . I pray to Allah SWT for peak mental fitness for every Muslim woman . Please keep me in your prayers . I will talk to you guys next time .