Talk with Coach Janet Nambi

Through my LifeCourse certification , I've had a pleasure of meeting some amazing individuals . Today , I'm going to be interviewing coach Janet Nami from Uganda , who is also an LCS certified coach . She is the CEO and founder of Unconscious Brilliance .

She is a work-life integration coach who helps overwhelmed high achieving women to avoid burnout and create success on their own terms , both at work and at home . In her coaching practice , she provides emphasis on emotional intelligence and mindfulness . She is also certified as a neuro-linguistic programming practitioner and mental and emotional release practitioner .

She was also the speaker at TEDx Kiwanda 2021 . Please listen in to this interview for high-quality thoughts that you can borrow for yourself and observe the transformation that Janet has achieved in her own life . As usual , I will be posting her resources in the show notes of the podcast . As-salamu alaykum , I have Life Coach Janet Namby here with me .

Thank you so much for joining , so excited , because I've actually never interviewed anybody from Uganda before . Tell me what that's like .

But home is home regardless .

I stayed in the states , worked there , had some babies and when my husband moved back to Uganda I had to relocate as well .

I am a work-life integration coach and I do work with high-achieving women who are overwhelmed with work and home , and I try to help them be able to recruiting agency with two other partners , and 10 years later which was in 2016 , I actually left , and it almost seemed abrupt , as though I left abruptly , but it's a decision that took me about a year , because

this is the business that we started when I moved back to Uganda . It's a business that was started from scratch the three of us and 10 years later , I was like you know , lady and gentlemen , I have to go , and at that time , I had no idea what was going on with me , but I actually was on the brink of burnout .

I was almost suffering burnout , so I was so detached , I was disengaged . I was just absolutely not interested in something that , when we started , it was my passion . So when I lost the desire , I you know , I I sought all kinds of help internally , though , and , um , I actually resorted to spiritual seeking spiritual help .

Oh , my goodness , don't get in the background , sorry about that , but yes , so I sought spiritual help , and , in fact , the only person I spoke to was my imam . I asked him to advise . You know , this is a business . This is my baby . I love it , but I loved it . I have no passion right now . What do I do ?

And he said just make sure the matters in your home are settled before you leave . And I had a discussion with my husband . He was okay with it and I left and after I left I was almost crucified . So it's one of the reasons that got me into coaching .

After I left I was a little bit idle and disorderly , so I decided to join an Islamic school for women where I went to school two hours a day for three years and again at that time I had no idea what I was doing , but I realized I was on a path of self-discovery . I wanted to reignite my passion .

I wanted to understand what's my purpose , what do I want to do going forward that's going to give me that fulfillment that I was looking for ? A year into the program , I was being asked to do motivational talks for the students in the junior school , which were about 16 to 25 year olds .

I was doing a lot of motivational talks there and then I got into things like values and getting them to understand what they wanted to do after their Islamic studies , because they're in boarding school for three years and a lot of girls raised to believe that once I'm done with this , I'm going to , probably I can get married .

So we're empowering them to be able to get to , to get out and work instead of just thinking about marriage , and that experience in itself led me to believe that . Wait a minute I had . I'm here . I am struggling to figure out what I want to do . There must be a lot of women out there who are breaking their backs , working , doing jobs they're not enjoying .

They have homes to take care of , they're overwhelmed and they need help . And that , right there , got me into coaching .

I was just reading an article how everybody and their neighbors calling themselves a light coach these days , and how can we separate , let's say , literally a con artist calling themselves a light coach versus somebody who can actually provide services ?

What advice do you think you have for my listeners who are trying to take that leap of faith and trying to really preserve their capital , their time , by not spending their resources in the wrong place ?

I've been able to do it , but I want to do it differently . I've been able to create success for myself , but I wanted to do it differently and in the process , help other women who feel that they're not able to . She referred me to a coach who at that time was starting a business coaching program . So I joined on scholarship .

I was paying a hundred dollars a month for six months . By the time I was done I did not feel equipped enough to be able to help someone . So guess where I went ? I went to Udemy and I did a course for $7 . From there I did another course for $30 . And all of these courses were certifying me as a life coach .

Oh , that's going to do it then , exactly . So I know exactly what you're talking about . But then I felt that wait a minute , I don't think I'm going to be able to get my clients the results they need with this .

Certificate programs that were one way programs where you are just reading and you're not doing it , You're not putting anything in practice , no one is giving you any feedback . They are very limited . So they have very many coaches out there who are calling them certified because they are getting certified at $30 or $50 or whatever it is .

And when I found the life coach school , I did a lot of research . I wanted to up-level my game . I wanted to separate myself from the people who are doing it you know , as a by the way , I guess . And when I found the life coach school , I was like , yes , this is exactly what I was , what I'm looking for .

It helped that I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil myself . So the life coach school just spoke to what I was , what I'm looking for . It helped that I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil myself , so the life coach school just spoke to what I was looking for .

So the advice I would take I would ask people who are looking for coaches find out , talk to the person about their certifications . Talk to them about what it is they value more . What , what transformations have they helped to with their clients ?

Because they're only going to be able to transform somebody to the best of their ability , which ability is a lot of is not just dependent on what , on experience and people are calling them life coaches because of life experience but that transformation that a person needs . Talk to them about the transformation .

You will then be able to decide whether this person will be able to them about the transformation . You will then be able to decide whether this person will be able to give you the transformation that you're looking for or not . But yes , we have the same problem here .

There's so many who are calling themselves life coaches and hey , who's to say they're not certified .

This is valid . That should be all the validation that you actually need , so it's interesting to notice that .

You also said that you were going through your own emotional turmoil , because I speak about this a lot in my podcast too , because my own struggles brought me to this work , and I think it's fascinating to notice I think that's um by design that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave these tests in our lives just so , at some level , we can go and outperform ourselves

after we come out of these tests and trials and come out stronger and find our calling when it comes to at least calling ourselves coaches versus , let's say , in your case , your clients are coming to you because of burnout . They are unable to find the work-life balance , and you help them integrate that work-life balance and you help them integrate that .

I wanted to ask you how important do you think it is that us , as women of minority , women of color . How well-versed are we in these coaching concepts , in the culture of coaching ? Do you think you're behind ? Do you think we've made some progress , like ? What are your thoughts about that in general ?

Because they've heard me speak about my own lack of passion in my previous business , they'll talk to me about I'm lacking passion in what I'm doing .

And when I work with them , what I usually find is that they actually get into jobs because they have to , not because they want to , especially in the African culture Now , here in Uganda or in a lot of the African culture , our parents do not raise us with , you know , the guidance , especially when it comes to careers .

Being Black and Muslim , you know it makes the story even worse , for lack of a better word because success for a Muslim girl is measured by their ability to get married and have a family , so a lot of women think that's the ultimate success .

When I finished college , when I graduated , I went to Howard University and when I graduated , my father said to me okay , now that you graduated , it's about time . You know you got married and I really wasn't raised in a very Islamic society where that would help me find a groom , but it was left up to me .

But it was a song that I heard every day when are you getting married ? When are you getting married ? When are you getting married ? So that's really what holds us back . And yet women have the desire . They really have the desire to find their purpose , be somebody , do something purposeful with their own lives .

But unfortunately , the guidance is very little in our societies , the guidance is very little in our cultures . So that's what I'm finding and but I think COVID has helped a little .

We've spoken a lot about mental health and speaking on about mental health , people are recognizing that if I don't need a psychiatrist , if I don't need a therapist , I can go to a coach . I can get the results I'm looking for from a coach . So that has helped a little wake people up . You know you can get the results I'm looking for from a coach .

So that has helped a little wake people up . You know you can create the success that you want and you can do it in a way that's going to be fulfilling for yourself and the people around you , without ruining relationships .

It does take a certain , like you say , guidance from the family , from the parents , especially of a Muslim girl , to help her understand that getting married , bearing children , is not the sole purpose of life .

It could be a very big person of your life and for a lot of people it is a sole purpose of your life , but as long as you're choosing it intentionally , not because it's being told to you , and there's a huge difference when you come to your value because you want it or you come to your value because it was told to you , because , like you said in the

beginning , then the women that come to you with burnout , they're working because , not because they want to , because they have to . The same mental shift makes a huge difference . One more thing that you said that was very interesting is with the pandemic , people are trying to reach out more for coaches versus therapy .

What do you think the difference is and what do you think the limitations are or benefits between the two ?

Their daily lives had totally changed and what I realized was people now , you know , they're running online to look for some kind of buffering to get away from home and they're discovering that wait a minute , I can actually be at peace with the situation that I'm in , or I can change my situation and find peace , I can find fulfillment .

So you know , the more inquisitive they got , the more they realized that okay , therapists are talking about this . There was a lot of talk on people's wellbeing because of the change dynamics in our lives and but a lot of people still the stigma of going to a therapist was still lingering and a lot of people didn't think that they needed a therapist .

And here we were coaches as well , making our noise that , hey , we can help you . Especially now is the right time . If you've been looking for that to find your purpose , if you've been trying to find meaning in your life . Now's the right time . Everybody's just online and trying to figure out what to do next with their lives , so that helped us a lot .

However , what I've , you know the therapists and counselors and psychiatrists .

They're dealing , they're talking to people about problems or challenges they've had in their past and helping them be able to not get worked up or not get emotionally challenged when they're thinking about or talking about whatever challenges they've had in their past , whether it's traumas or varying degrees . And yet , for us coaches , we start where they stopped .

Yes , sometimes we'll get a little bit into your background , but we can only do so much , so we future pace . Once you're done with your therapist , you can always come to a coach . Hey , this is now where I want to go and that's our specialty .

And of course , there are coaches I mean , there are counselors and therapists out there and we're getting into coaching now . Who can do both ? But really that's our expertise and it created , I believe , for people seeking mental health , the peace and tranquility . During the pandemic , they figured if I can find this , then what's next ? So we were the what next ?

What's next ? Then we were ready and I believe that has helped open up the coaching industry to those who otherwise were not aware that it was even available .

At the same time you could be working with a therapist and working with a coach , and there is a very important place of therapy and counseling and all of the different types of modalities . And I also wanted to just clarify that coaches do not disagree with any of those sciences . If anything promote that .

There's a time and a place for that and in all of those modalities . One thing you said that kind of caught my attention is that it sort of helped with the pandemic , that there was a stigma against therapy . So people were like , okay , I do want mental health , I am burning out . Where do I go ?

I don't want my friends and family to find out I'm seeing a therapist . Like they are going to just automatically assume that I must be mentally ill if that's the case even though that in itself is a huge misunderstanding . Like , that's not true at all .

Just because you're seeing a therapist doesn't mean that you were necessarily have mental illness A lot of times . A lot of times you do . A lot of times . It just needs to be diagnosed . But , like I always say , that pathology is not the norm . That's not why we look for help . If you are not mentally ill does not mean you're mentally healthy .

You have to sometimes , and in my opinion , hire a coach , all like , in all cases , hire a coach to achieve your mental fitness , which is completely different than mental illness versus mental health . So that kind of helped us in a way , and I loved it how you put it , that we were ready . The coaches are here , come in , you know , come and get it .

One other term that you used was buffering , which you said in the beginning , where people , when they were stuck together in the home because they just can't leave the house , then they're online and they're buffering . What did you mean by that ?

And the reason we really do that is because we are avoiding something , we are avoiding a feeling . As humans , we tend to think , for example , that boredom is a problem and that boredom is not . You know , if you really think about it , why is it a problem ? When you really ask , why is it a problem , what is it going to do to you ?

Right , it's not going to affect you mentally or physically or anything like that . But as humans , we believe we have to be occupied all the time . And as humans , we believe that . You know , we are raised to believe that negative feelings are bad . Many of us are not taught how to deal with our own negative feelings .

You know , when you're a child and you're crying , it's oh , I'm so sorry , here's a sweet they give you something to . You know , help you calm down . Or when you know a parent will tell you that , oh , don't worry , everything will be okay .

A parent will tell you that oh , don't worry , everything will be okay , and what they're saying is you're feeling bad , everything will be okay . They're promising this , everything will be okay . As if you're not supposed to feel whatever you're feeling at that moment .

So then we grow up thinking that I shouldn't be feeling bad at any given moment and trying to help ourselves not feel bad , because we are deluded with looking for happiness all the time . We decide that , look , I have worked so hard , I deserve a treat , so I'm gonna go and binge on ice cream or pizza or chocolate . I am so tired .

I have , I've had a sugar , you know , I have a sweet tooth myself , so I have used chocolate as a buffer . Anytime I am anxious , I ran to chocolate . I need a sugar rush . I tell myself I need a sugar rush . I'm already anxious . Anyways , that is as it is . So buffers are the things that we use to cover up feelings .

We don't want to deal with a particular feeling . For someone who's hearing this word for the first time . Think about boredom . When you're bored , what do you do , what do you resort to when you're bored ? And then ask yourself why don't I allow myself to be bored . So boredom is a feeling that we always try to get rid of .

That's one feeling that almost every human tries to get rid of . And whatever you resort to to cover up for that boredom or to not deal with the boredom that you might be buffering , you might be running to your phone because you don't want to be bored , or to the TV screen because you don't want to be bored . So that's what we do .

We hide away from feeling something by covering it up with something else . Bored , or to the TV screen because you don't want to be bored , so that's what we do . We run to . You know , we hide away from feeling something by covering it up with something else .

And that's so profound , if you think about it , because we're always trying to escape , we're always trying to stimulate , we're always trying to figure out what's wrong if we don't have something to do , and all we have to remind ourselves is boredom is not a problem .

And I'm comfortable with exactly how I am now , and that could be ease , rest , laziness , whatever , and at least we're not going to be compelled to reach out for behaviors that might hurt us afterwards , like you say , if you have a sweet tooth or if you're over Netflixing or if you're overworking , because all of those behaviors , when it comes to the buffering

part , come with a negative consequence at the end . So thank you very much for that great explanation . So if I am a burned out Muslim woman and I'm looking for life , work-life balance , where can we find you ?

Signing up just to get some free , you know , free content , free tips on how they can be able to create success , both work and at home , without compromising who they are . I have a lot out there that's very valuable .

We're going to be able to make social connections over Zoom . Thank you so much . It was great talking to you . Inshallah , we'll talk soon .