Sustainability

If I have to recall , the most frequent question that I get asked by family and friends and strangers alike is how do I do so much ? And my secret is in sustainability . The more I can make something sustainable over a long run , versus giving me a quick result in a short run , the more I develop the capacity to have the capacity to do more .

Your capacity to hold a project , a new growth opportunity , more wealth , more love , capacity to hold more respect from others , capacity to hold more intense faith , deeper emotions or anything along those lines , comes from you making it sustainable over a long period of time . What I mean by that is going to be explained to you in this podcast .

What I do first when I'm trying to make something sustainable for me is , I ask myself is it something that I actually want ? Is it in an area where I want to expand my knowledge ? Is it in an area of service ? Am I wanting to do it , or I'm trying to do it because I think I should . I do not take on a project because I should .

My thought errors tell me that I should , but then at some point I've become aware that there is nothing I should be doing Because the should is related to me trying to fill a perceived gap in my internal worth . Should in my mind automatically translates into some judgment that I'm passing on myself or others .

And that might be true for you as well , and this is what I've seen in my coaching practice very commonly , where , if we dig even a little deeper in that sentence that contains I should be doing this , we usually find that this is built on a foundation of judgment .

If your thought errors tell you that you should be doing this , the foundation is judgment and a lack of sense of self-worth . When you do start a project so that when you do the project , then your self-worth will be regained Again .

It is a thought error , but the subconscious mind runs on such high efficiency that sometimes it doesn't surface and I don't even notice it until I pause and actively ask that question Am I taking this project on because I want to or because I should ?

So the first step before I take anything on is me asking this question Am I attracted to it because of a pull energy that I want to do it , or is it a push energy that I should do it ? And just asking that question changes the energy behind it all together .

Even if it was originally based on judgment , I can elevate my intention to saying that I actually want to do this and I can proceed from there .

Or if asking a question reveals that I was doing it to prove something to somebody or to myself and I was doing it out of compulsion , then I don't have to continue down that road and I also don't have to accept this invite of taking on this project .

I could say I don't want to do it right now , or I could say no to it all together , but the best sentence that I say to myself in that moment , especially if it's something that I'm interested in and will be taking on in the future is that I say I don't want to do it right now , but I'm still developing the capacity to hold this project .

The more you elevate your thoughts , step by step , into creating something that you actually want , the more realistic it will become . So for me , the thought elevation has to do with me becoming a person who can hold this project in the future , or I see myself having the capacity to do this project one day .

And this is a process I also described in Podcast 149 , the Cognitive Climb , something I don't believe to be true today , meaning I can't do this project today and I'm too busy , but I turn it around on its head to say I can do this project right away and I have all of the time in the world , but this is unbelievable to me right now .

So in the meanwhile , I will create a mental ladder and give myself more and more elevated thoughts each time and each one will seem a little bit more believable to me than before , and it will be neutral , like I can see myself having the capacity to hold this project and the other thoughts I mentioned .

With this skill of cognitive climb , I can see that I will have the time and energy and the mental capacity for this work . I do everything because I want to and I want to do a lot .

So the asking of the question if this is because I should be or because I want to be needs to be asked a lot , at least in my case , so I can keep my projects and my life and my dedication clutter-free . To me , it's about either going through the pain of doing a lot or going through the pain of doing nothing .

I choose the first one , and for you it might look different . Creating stress reduction in your life might be a project that you want to take on , but it doesn't seem feasible right now because you don't know how to do it and you don't even know how you got here where life seems so busy and chaotic and ever-changing .

If you want to make stress reduction more sustainable , then the first thing you want to do is find out if you want to do it or you should do it .

I know this question seems to be nuanced and almost inconsequential in this case , but even for stress reduction , if you're doing it because you're running away from burnout , your brain will not function as optimally in providing you an answer as it would if you gave it a destination of stress reduction because you want to find more joy in your moments .

Running away from pain and going towards pleasure are both energetic fuels . Both of these emotional fuels create change . Some people identify with one more than the other , but in my experience , going towards pleasure is more sustainable . In this podcast , being about sustainability , it's about how to do things over the long run .

So if you try to create a life of less stress because you're trying to run away from burnout , it will not be as sustainable as if you gave it a thought that you're trying to create stress reduction in your life , to find more moments of joy and happiness and connection . That is far more sustainable .

So once you figure out that you want to reduce stress in your life , then go on to the mode of thinking where you can make it sustainable . In reality , there's no such thing as a high stress job . Stress is created by your nervous system . Identify where you are creating unnecessary stress for yourself from your job . Where is it so demanding for you ?

Is it because it's a learning skill ? Is it because more hours are required than you want to give ? Is it because it requires interacting with other human beings when your nervous system is not skilled at doing that yet ? Is it because of your oversensitivity ?

Asking questions like this is very important , because creating sustainability in your project and your life is a process that involves understanding your motivations and setting the right intentions . How are you going to keep up with the home garden that you planted ? How are you going to make it sustainable ?

Because the initial energy of excitement and novelty is going to fizzle out soon and any relationship with the garden over the long run is going to require sustainability . That's also true for relationships with human beings . Imagine you have a choice between studying a subject you're passionate about or one you feel pressured to study .

It will always be more sustainable for you to do it out of desire rather than doing it out of pressure of avoiding negative consequences . Getting away from pain is a good short-term motivator , but it's definitely not something that translates into a good long-term view .

If you're trying to create sustainable results in your life , trying to avoid pain of self-judgment is overall painful and can be used short-term but definitely not long-term , especially if you want to keep your mental and emotional health in check .

And just like that , you continue to set building blocks of belief on top of each other and use these thoughts as building blocks to construct a strong foundation of beliefs . The cognitive climb is like replacing weaker blocks with stronger ones .

As you strengthen your foundation , you can build taller and more resilient structures of belief , like if you want to run a marathon , but the idea of even running short distance is hard . Through cognitive climb , you replace self-doubt with beliefs , like I can eventually do this . I'm becoming a stronger runner .

Over time , you build a strong foundation of confidence that enables you to complete the marathon , and this method is sustainable because it helps change your identity at the core and that you can carry over through other ambitious goals . Think of sustainability like sailing towards serenity .

Think of your journey as being on a sailboat , gently moving towards what you genuinely want . It's like setting a course where you can enjoy a smooth and sustainable journey , rather than like a speedboat high fuel consumption and very bumpy . It will get you results , but the thrill is so high that it can only be short-lived .

You can use thrill , excitement , high levels of emotion as fuel , but if you're going to make something sustainable , better to translate that fuel into a steady push in the sails of your sailboat . By the way , I've never been sailing . Someone with experience in this field is probably like uh-huh , that's actually not how it works , but you get the picture .

The energy I'm talking about when it comes to sustainability is magnetic , attractive , rather than quick and high energy .

Sustainability , in my opinion , is the secret to longevity , which is the science of living healthier lives , making your lifespan , the time you live on earth , to be the same as your health span , meaning you live that life in a healthy way , you make your life as disease and disability-free for as long as possible and you take all of the sustainable efforts to get

there Nutrition , exercise , mental and emotional well-being . As a small business owner , if you want to sustain your company's success , you'll learn how to implement sound financial practices , maintain customer relationships , adapt to market changes . Change is the only constant .

Business , personal life , religion and everything in between has a different face , different representation , different demand , different outlook as time changes . The only way to make it sustainable is to make friends with change , continuously inspecting and reinforcing strategies to keep life functional and to keep things thriving .

In light of this , sustainability is my absolute favorite concept . There's so much self-discipline involved . There's a fundamental need of clarity that's

involved . If you are unable to make it sustainable , it makes you question was it something that I wanted in the first place ? Or these duties , these tasks , these seemingly important adventures somehow encroach their way into my life under my radar ? Then you might come to notice that you couldn't make them sustainable because it was never your value .

Real hard truths come out when you ask real hard questions about why haven't you been able to make something sustainable . If you are unsuccessful at something , chances are you have not yet made it sustainable , because you cannot run on rocket fuel type of energy 24-7 . You have to create an energy of calm and serene focus to get things done .

Don't get me wrong . Rocket fuel type of high go-getter energy is a state of super fun . It's exciting , it's fast action and I frequently rely on it . It might even require you to go up down a few caffeinated drinks . I myself don't choose to rely on caffeine to create high energy .

I use my mind to create thoughts that bring me incredibly energetic emotions as fuels and I love that state when it's necessary . But human beings are designed based on cycles of ups and downs .

If you are unable to create action in the lack of high energy state , then it will not be sustainable and you will be sitting asking these questions what is wrong with me ? Why can't I find motivation to do what I have to do ?

Why can't I find the energy and that's one of the most common scenarios I get to coach people on lack of motivation , like motivation is supposed to be your state 24-7 , or that somehow you lost it out in the jungle and you can't find it anymore .

Motivation is first of all created by your thoughts , just like any other emotion , and if you can't get yourself to think thoughts that motivate you , then you don't have to use motivation to take action . You can use sustainability and the concepts of maybe just putting one foot in front of the other and just keep taking action .

Maybe you're not always enthusiastic about your goals , and that's okay . All of your intentional aspirations can still be sustainable . All of your goals can still be achieved and maybe , most importantly , it's time for you to rest . Maybe taking a rest and a break does not mean that you don't have sustainable procedures . Maybe it just means that you're tired .

Your mind and body just needs rest . Maybe you need to lie down and relax and chill and do nothing for the time being and give yourself permission to do that , because that in itself will create future sustainability .

As it comes to our relationships , we create a sense of connection over a long period of time of knowing somebody , and this absolutely requires sustainability . Our long-term relationships have been shown to create mental and emotional well-being .

Same thing with our careers that we dedicate our lives to learning and gaining all the skills when it comes to working outside the home or even in child rearing . All of these are long-term goals . Creating any sort of these outcomes absolutely requires sustainability , especially also if you're trying to create a healthy lifestyle change for yourself .

Create sustainability one of your lenses through which you look at life . Ask yourself is what I'm starting or what I'm already doing sustainable ? Can I do something to make it sustainable ? Or , if it's been sustainable so far , what can I do to make it more efficient for myself ?

And creating policies and procedures for yourself and your personal life on how to conduct your household and how to conduct your life outside of your house All of this is a product of sustainability . Also , be very curious about this one concept . For most women , the idea of sustainability is that I'll do it all by myself .

If somebody else does it , it will take too long . If somebody else does it , they won't do it right , or they don't do it in the time frame that I predicted , or they don't do it exactly how I predicted .

I want you guys to imagine sustainability as a bridge that connects your aspirations with your reality , and these bridges run over turbulent waters , the waters of life . Sustainability is about building these bridges and keeping them strong and well maintained . To believe that doing everything by yourself is the only way to ensure that things actually get done correctly .

This will be extremely emotionally tolling . This mindset will leave you exhausted and isolated . Sustainability isn't about carrying the entire burden alone . It's about finding ways to strengthen your bridge and make your journey smoother . This burden of self-reliance that women self-dictate . Trying to do it all by yourself .

It's like attempting to construct the entire bridge on your own . It's emotionally draining and physically exhausting by . Sustainability does not mean that you do it by yourself . It might mean that you can outsource and , ironically , every time I mention the word outsource , women think that I'm asking them to spend money on hiring other people to do things for them .

That is one possibility , but there are tons of other possibilities . Like you can outsource it to your friends and do something else in return for them , something that you find more sustainable and easy for yourself . You can outsource things to your neighbors , to your family , or maybe even hired help . You can outsource things to machines .

These days , hiring doesn't necessarily mean spending money on hiring professionals . It can mean that , but it means priming your brain to ask for and seek help . It will strengthen the emotional bonds that you share with your support network and also .

This is a super shortcut way to find out who are these people who are naturally willing to support you and care for your well-being . I know your brain might be going to . I don't have anyone like that in my life and I don't have people around me like that , and this will be eye-opening when I tell you .

Through the lifelong effect of self-reliance , you have accidentally taught people that you are tough enough to deal with everything by yourself . I will challenge you that to change these relationships , only one mindset need to change , and that is yours . It's in people's nature to help if they feel supported themselves .

And if you're still in doubt that you can't create a community of support around you , then I invite you to get coaching . Sustainability is a great filter to put your aspirations through and see what has outgrown its value , what has been infringed on you through apparent pressures and what is leaked in without your knowledge .

Clean all of that up and things will become sustainable . Doing things over the long run also does not mean working on excitement and motivation and enthusiasm all the time . Maybe your goals are achievable because of your dedication , your persistence , your focus Goals created out of fear of avoiding pain , like finding a job because of scarcity of money .

That mindset is not going to be sustainable , as you , finding a career from your aspirations that you are ambitious about and you feel that you can create an abundance of wealth through them .

Getting away from pain of poverty is a good short term motivator , but if you want to go after something throughout your life , I suggest you do that through the magnetism of contribution , service , wealth , abundance all of the above .

And I do highly recommend that you find a lifelong aspirational goal because that will help you gain a level of skill that you can benefit from the rest of your life . And luckily you don't have to do it all alone . You can , but you don't have to .

And if you actively scan your life to look for where your sustainability methods can be outsourced and after that scan it comes up that you don't have anybody like that , then I will challenge you that this might be a product . Because you haven't asked , you have never let people know that you are in need and you have never offered that you can reciprocate .

You have only given one sided part of your extreme service plan to humanity . When you don't vocalize what you need , people naturally become unaware of your wants and desires , and unless it is a person that is extremely self motivated to invest themselves in your well being .

The most loving person in your life will fall short into this ignorance of being completely blinded of your requirements just because of the simple fact that they've never been told , or you've never told them , through resentment and anger towards them because why haven't they figured it out themselves yet ?

Scan all of that up and you will see that you have a strong support system that is waiting to be discovered . Make things sustainable and your life will immediately elevate . Inshaallah . With that , I pray to Allah swt .

Ya Allah , ya Rozaq , the provider , the sustainer , the ultimate source of sustainability and guidance . We seek your guidance to discern what is outgrown its value in our lives , to discern what external pressures have fallen burden on us and to let us see what aspirations we need to embrace to be successful in deen and dunya in this world and the next .

O Allah , help us transition from the motivation of avoiding pain towards the magnetism of seeking your pleasure alone . Let our motivation be to help and support those around us . Guide us to reciprocate the support and love we receive from others . Elevate the minds and the hearts of this Irma as we make our lives more sustainable .

Ya Allah , may your blessings and guidance elevate us to new heights . Ameen yadabu l-alameen , please keep me in your dharaz . I will talk to you guys next time .