Self love

Today we're going to talk about the concept of self-love , which also equals to self-acceptance , which also can be called self-esteem . All of these concepts mean that is your opinion about yourself . People develop their opinion about themselves through the concept of self-worth . That is how they show up to work to their relationships . That's how they show up in life .

We make a mistake of deriving our self-worth from our past , from our childhood , for example , we failed an exam once we drive our self-worth from it Our parents were absent for our upbringing we drive our self-worth from that .

Your opinion about yourself only comes from you , not from any other person outside of you , which is always a neutral circumstance , like we have learned . Your opinion about yourself does not come from your ex , does not come from your in-laws . They can be saying demeaning , rude , deprecating things around you , but that does not mean that's what defines you .

Whatever they're saying is always a neutral circumstance , it is the thought behind it that gives it a negative meaning . So bear with me . In other words , somebody yelling demeaning things around you or at you is always a neutral circumstance until you have a negative thought about it . Now stay with me .

If somebody is doing all these things around you , then it is only natural to have negative thoughts about it . But let me tell you , it is your lower brain going into protection mode , and we've already learned the function of the lower brain protection mode , and we've already learned the function of the lower brain Also .

At the same time , most importantly , know that their opinion about you does not define you . Only your opinion about you defines you . Now , knowing that , why would anyone want to take negative thoughts about themselves ? How powerful is it to know that not anything negative anyone can say about me can make me feel anything until I have a thought about it .

Once you place that thought filter between yourself and the person yelling at you , you have an aha moment . It's not them making you feel bad . It's yourself making you feel bad . They have convinced you that their opinion about you is the right one and not yours . That's where the mistake lies .

So , if and when you drop this baggage , your self-worth becomes your responsibility , and that , my friend , is great news , because you are able to choose your thoughts . I have the freedom to believe whatever I want about myself , and that is the power of what is inside your skull , which is your mind . Oh boy , I love my mind . The mind is an amazing thing .

I mean . I will take as much of my mind as I possibly can . It is such a powerful tool and it applies to all of you . So think of it this way A person yelling at you or demeaning you is actually just yelling around you . They do not determine your self-worth , only you do . It just so happens that they're around you .

If you're having a hard time accepting that , then let me put it this way by default , you're 100% worthy . You were born worthy , you were conceived worthy , you were conceptualized worthy , you die worthy and you will still remain worthy . That's just a non-negotiable fact of life . You cannot take credit for being worthy .

You cannot be more worthy than others , you cannot be less worthy than others . You are , at all times , 100% worthy , no matter what thoughts you're having about yourself . Once you understand this universal truth , it gives you the peace of mind . It takes the burden off of you for proving your worthiness .

Then you can go on living your life and choosing the thoughts that serve you . Your 100% worthiness , your complete and utter worthiness , 100% of the time , is the universal truth . An abusive partner , abusive children , abusive boss cannot take that away from you , not even abusive parents .

Children are very impressionable and if parents have been abusive to them , growing up , we develop into a mindset of that's what we're worth , and that is very natural . But know , my friends , your past of an abusive relationship does not define you . You are 100% worthy .

No matter how much an abusive partner or a parent treated you , their abuse towards you had to do with their mindset . You are always worthy . Now , my friends , if it seems like I've beat that dead horse to death , that's because I have . You're going to hear me say this concept over and over again . If you forget it , I'll be here to remind you .

Our brains do an exceptional job of forgetting our worthiness . Again , it's the lower brain's job , but our higher brain can always be there to rescue us , to remind us that we are 100% worthy .

Now , based on this concept of 100% of the time , some people are genuinely scared about developing feelings of narcissism , meaning that if you're told to love yourself unconditionally , fear arises that you'll turn into a narcissist , that you'll think too much of yourself .

Or when I tell people that that's what I'm teaching , they just turn around and tell me that I'm teaching narcissism . Now let me tell you there's a stark difference between knowing your self-worth , loving yourself unconditionally , and narcissism . Narcissism , as Dr Google would define it , is excessive interest in or admiration of oneself , with lack of empathy for others .

Now , the defining characteristic of narcissism is that they don't care about their relationship with others as long as it serves their own validation , which is not at all what self-love is about . Narcissists will go to any length to feel validated , including hurting other people around them , and mostly that's where they drive their energy from .

Self-love and feeling worthy promotes mature relationships . It nurtures relationships with others . When you have high regard for yourself , that's how you show up in your relationships for others . That's how you show respect towards them . It's not about just me being worthy , it's about everyone being worthy .

So self-love is a win-win for yourself and for your relationships . So don't let that fear of developing narcissism get in the way of knowing your true self-love and self-worth . 100% self-worth belief will release you from the burden of establishing worthiness , since the worthiness is always there . It's your negative thoughts that keep you from seeing it .

It's like a wall is standing behind yourself and your worthiness . And those are your thoughts , thoughts about I'm divorced , I'm having a hard time conceiving a child , I can't find a spouse , I got fired from a job . You get negative feelings from all these circumstances because you're having these negative thoughts .

But just know that these negative thoughts are just a sentence in your mind and the circumstances are always neutral unless you have a thought about it . I know it is very hard to believe . I know it's very difficult pill to swallow . It is very difficult to understand that no one around you is responsible for your feelings .

Only you are responsible for your feelings . But once you do swallow that pill , you are completely free , because that is great news . Now I can clearly hear tiny head explosions going around everywhere .

How is it good news that I'm responsible for creating my negative thoughts around neutral circumstance , and that is because your negative thoughts are under your control . I'm not saying you're intentionally creating negative feelings or that you're a bad person for it .

I'm saying you're responsible for them , which means that you have control over them , which is the best news ever , because that means you can control how you feel and you can change your thoughts . And how exactly is it that you do that ? It's through the powerful tool of managing your mind . Your mind is the most powerful tool on the planet .

You get to walk around with it 24-7 . It's yours to keep . You have it with you at all times . It is with you , it is for you . You can create any result you want from it . That is just some incredible

news right there . My friends , now , since we have established your 100% worthiness and since we have established that nobody around you can take away your self-worth , no matter how they're treating you , and since we've established that them treating you badly is their world , their thoughts , their feelings .

It has nothing to do with you , and we've established that your thoughts are responsible for creating your feelings around any circumstance that you have , then at this point , I will invite you to create self-love , manage your mind and create self-love and create goals from that mindset and through awareness that we talked about in the last podcast and through the mind

management tools that I gave you in podcast one and two . And from there on , my friends , you have the full package .

You can create goals from the foundation of worthiness and work your mind to create a life of your dreams today , right now , in this moment , not one year from now , not 10 years from now , not when you turn 40 , 50 , or 60 , not after you've gotten out of this marriage , not after you've had children , not after you've succeeded in your career , but right now .

It is such an exhilarating feeling to know that I can change my life right in this moment , just by utilizing what's between my ears and inside my skull , which is my mind .

I pray to Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , that he helps us utilize the most powerful tool that he has given us and helps us utilize this mind to the best of our capacity so we can create self-love out of the unconditional worthiness that he has granted us . It was once again great talking to everyone and I will see you guys on the podcast next time .