Rat Race or Fulfillment

But I do it anyways or I hire somebody to do it Only because living in cluster is not conducive to my kids growth , in my opinion . So I do whatever I can to give them a healthy environment that they can call a safe place .

In that light and in my spirit of hard work , I often hear from people that I'm always working , I'm always doing something , but I don't feel like I'm always working . I don't feel like I'm always working hard or always busy . I rest when I'm tired .

So recently I hosted a get-together at my house where my friends came over and we had sushi fusion cuisine and we rolled our own sushi . It was a lot of fun . Someone looking for outside would say you're so busy arranging everything and hosting , but I didn't feel busy . I didn't have the rest energy . Kids are on summer break .

I took one afternoon to go to an Asian market and we learned so much about Asian food . They had never seen a live lobster for sale for cooking . They had never even seen fish ready to eat with eyes and sockets still in place . So they learned a lot and it was a great time .

I'm telling you this because if you're running on a rat race mentality and a rushed energy that you have to do this or that , then you would feel rushed and busy and drained . I could have easily felt all of that if I thought to myself I have to host , I have to invite , I have to have my house look a certain way and I have to make everything perfect .

But I chose not to think any of that . I chose to make it a very fulfilling experience for myself , and today's podcast is dedicated to doing just that helping you come out of the rat race of your daily life , out of the rush have to constantly produce energy , which is tiring , dropping the rat race around things you're doing and not really enjoying them .

I want to give a shout out to Simone Sol , one of the coaches that I follow and I frequently invest in her services . She introduced me to a concept similar to this . So , as a human being , you have a very natural tendency of constant future orientation , which is an excellent thing . It is a compass for growth .

But an unsupervised future orientation comes paired with current dissatisfaction . This is a common mindset , where you're constantly striving for a more satisfying future rather than finding contentment in the present first .

All of this is enhanced by our educational system of grades , pass and fail , winning , losing strategy in sports , competitions , score comparisons , and all of this just creates a continuous cycle of preparation and anticipation , without ever truly arriving at a sense of fulfillment .

And if you do arrive at a sense of fulfillment , then staying there for five minutes or so at maximum until the next goal that you must achieve becomes the reason of your fulfillment and the rat race starts again .

This rat race is my analogy of constant , rushed and busy energy , which is not the same as high level of motivation and excitement that you might feel towards work or something that you're doing . In a rat race , life becomes a constant preparation .

This way of thinking turns life into an endless treadmill of working towards a future that seems perpetually out of reach . This treadmill , this running in place , never actually progressing towards real happiness or contentment . When you're working hard for your goals with excitement and motivation , you're still fulfilled . You're not less than anyone else .

You're not even less than a future version of yourself who has achieved the goal , but you're still progressing because of your brain's future orientation and need of growth . To stop the rat race , you have to create an ambition that is not conditional on your achievement of your goal .

When I host , my ambition is a fun time , connection with my friends , creating respect , honor , enjoyment and just plain silliness . My fulfillment is not contingent on the success of the event any other way . That's why I don't feel rushed or busy , even though I work hard to create my vision . But how is this more exclusive for you as a Muslim woman ?

How are you going to create fulfillment out of if , let's say , you've created a rat race in your life ? We have to first understand that women dominate labor of caregiving , homemaking , emotionally supporting others , and all of that is usually undervalued .

And the worst is that , through enculturation , women learn to undervalue their own work , and this translates into work outside of the home as well . If a woman is working for money , she's more likely to undervalue what she does compared to any of her male counterparts . That's because ambition is being defined as a masculine trait .

Fulfillment is being strictly defined as constant growth , economic productivity , creating goods , selling them for profit . Everything else , like intense emotional labor or raising a family or caregiving to an elderly or community service , is not considered ambitious . You nurture , you guide , you emotionally support your loved ones .

You create an environment where everyone's growth and creativity is possible . This is a form of ambition that is invaluable but yet invisible .

Your fulfillment will automatically happen when you define whatever you do as your ambition , even if it's emotional labor , rather than joining the rat race of productivity , which is only productive if a service or goods are exchanged for money .

We are currently living in a world shaped into a male-centric framework , where knowledge economy and productivity are defined as ambition . Cooking , cleaning , caregiving are not considered work because they don't directly contribute to the economy through trade and profit and exchange of money . And the worst part is that women believe it .

But we all know that there will be no economy to profit off of if there's no foundational labor of homemaking . In the male-centric framework , your efforts in cooking , cleaning , caregiving are overlooked because they don't fit into the narrow definition of productivity , which prioritizes monetary exchange and economic growth .

Just make sure you're not falling into this trap of productivity definition , which might be the case if you feel like you're stuck in a rat race and to get out of that you must consider your work , anything you do , ambitious and productive , because what that does ?

It turns the fulfillment of your hard work inwards , which means that you can derive meaning from your work based on how you think and feel about it . Right now and we all know through this podcast that our thinking is in our control , especially if we supervise our mind Riot race mentality makes fulfillment dependent on external markers .

Sometimes it's validation , sometimes it's products , other times it's the reaching of the quota . Sometimes it's worse than that , especially's the reaching of the quota . Sometimes it's worse than that , especially when that ambition is subconsciously trying to meet societal expectations or to maintain appearances .

This is worse because fulfillment is now contingent on other people's opinion , which are always changing . Even if you deliver on your goals to the T , it does not mean that you'll be able to meet other people's expectations . They can just simply change their opinion and this creates a chronic sense of dissatisfaction with the present .

Feeling pressured to host a perfect event , with the house looking a certain way and having the perfect ingredients , all leads to stress and exhaustion , a state of a rat race , constantly trying to achieve higher grades , better job titles , more accolades , without ever feeling truly satisfied . All of it is rat race .

But if you're hosting a gathering with focusing on enjoying the process and the company rather than achieving perfection , that's fulfillment , satisfaction with the now and achievement of the goal . Or pursuing creative projects , hobbies , community service , because you have learned to enjoy them and your fulfillment is from the process and the outcome is cherry on the top .

That's just redefined ambition , all of this tied to fulfillment . I'm asking you to consider what if ambition was personal growth , creative expression , meaningful relationships , contributions to the community environment ? What if ambition was also having a floor to ceiling glass office in a high rise ?

Or you at a modern boardroom table leading high stakes , meeting with influential stakeholders , you receiving an industry award at a prestigious ceremony ? What if we expanded the narrow definition of ambition to include what fulfills you today ?

I encourage you to do that , not only so that you can stop the rat race , but so that you can create your well-being and work on your future goals with your wellness and emotional health intact . Include your dedication to your family , your social ambition , your environmental ambition in this definition .

You can have all sorts of ambitions , including health ambition , committing to daily exercise routines , consuming healthy meals . You can have educational ambition online courses , in-person degrees , going to universities , reading books .

Financial ambition creating and sticking to a budget , being financially savvy , investing in the stock market , real estate or businesses of your choice , creating passive incomes . You can have a home improvement ambition taking on DIY projects painting a mural , organizing and decluttering , making everything more peaceful and functional .

You can have a social ambition your ongoing conscious effort to reconnect with friends or strengthening existing relationships . Ambition can also be creative dedicating time to a hobby painting , writing , social media channels , other creative outlets . What about travel ambition ?

If you plan a short weekend getaway , if you plan an international trip , local attractions plan a short weekend getaway . If you plan an international trip , local attractions , cultural events that you keep an eye on and you follow .

You can have a family ambition Make a cautious effort to spend quality time each day with your family , creating and maintaining unique family traditions . What about self-care ambition ? Practicing mindfulness , meditation , taking time out to take care of yourself . Maybe it's a relaxing bath or time away or a hobby to unwind or recharge .

You could simply have a skill building ambition , where you're just practicing a new skill because you want to learn new things . Maybe it's cooking , mastering different cuisines , maybe it's taking up a new sport like tennis , swimming , rock climbing . What if you have a pet care ambition ?

Spending a dedicated time training and playing with your pet , volunteering at animal shelters because animal care is your ambition . Community engagement attending town meetings , joining local committees , going to neighborhood events . A gardening ambition ? A stamp collection ambition ? There are so many . My personal favorite is work-life balance ambition .

I get to set clear boundaries to ensure my time both at work and personal life are separate . I schedule regular breaks to help me recover from a tough day of work . What I'm trying to say is that you can literally create any type of ambition something that brings you fulfillment now and helps you grow in the future .

A political or a social ambition , where you're focusing on creating change through social channels . Political channels You're running for office yourself . You're an activist campaigning for social justice . Technological ambition innovating and advancing technology .

Another one of my favorite ones is experiential ambition Collecting , enriching life experiences , not necessarily pictures of them , not necessarily social media posts of them , but just creating memories , creating deep experiences through my senses of touch , taste , smell , trying new activities , traveling , adventure and exploration .

This happens to be my favorite ambition and yes , you're right , I totally made that up Because it gives me fulfillment in the moment , because what my brain wants to do by default is pass judgment on being an experiential person . But I tell myself I am an experientially ambitious person and the brain immediately drops the rat race .

And the restlessness , intellectual ambition of gaining knowledge , flow of ideas , attending conferences , staying up to date with recent developments , academic research , philosophical debates , subscribing to scholarly articles , just pushing the boundaries through thought and understanding All of that can be your ambition .

You can have a philanthropic ambition donating money , supporting your or other charitable organizations . There are countless ways of creating fulfillment in your ambitions and dropping the rat race . All that matters is how you're training your brain to think about it .

There can totally be a rushed rat race energy behind your grocery shopping , or you can make it an ambitious energy , making it a learning process , exploring new ingredients , talking to store employees , considering their recommendations , taking time to discover new recipes .

You can have a rushed energy or a fulfilled energy behind anything you do your exercise routine , your cooking dinner routine , helping with the homework , your gardening routine , your hosting , your shopping .

You get to define how you want to create your fulfillment , create enhancement , a flourishing development within yourself , because your thoughts are what produces a rat race . The activity that you're engaging in does not do that . And are you a product of today's design ?

Because when you grow up in a system like today , your brain is molded into thinking of ambition in a certain way and you have to unmold it in a way that helps sustain you . Key differences between rat race and rushed energy is motivation , mindset and the enjoyment of the outcome .

In a rat race energy motivation is by external pressures , people's expectations , but in a broader definition of ambition , motivation is by internal desires and personal passions that you get to curate . A rat race mentality is only future oriented , always presently dissatisfied , and the only outcome is burnout , emptiness , strained relationships .

But with ambition and fulfillment you have contentment , especially in the present , even if it's your pursuit of personal goals , and it leads to a well-rounded , fulfilling and joyful life . Breaking free from a rat race mentality is about changing how you approach your tasks .

You're not just ticking off boxes , but you're living , and as a Muslim woman , you have a power to redefine ambition in a way that aligns with your values and it nurtures your soul , and in a way that's faith-based , and it also means that you can go break a leg in the corporate world , healthcare field .

Or space exploration , not because your future satisfaction is dependent on these . But or space exploration , not because your future satisfaction is dependent on these , but because you want to and because you can Think about the warmth of your children's laughter as you explore new foods together , the peace you feel during a moment of prayer .

Or satisfaction of hosting friends without the pressure of perfection . Satisfaction of hosting friends without the pressure of perfection . I told you I'm an experiential person . All of these are moments that matter , the moments that define a life well-lived .

I'm going to ask you that in the upcoming week , you commit to recognizing what ambitions have you followed with passion already ? Where are you going to engage in your work with passion in the future ? And it can literally be anything . With that , I pray to Allah SWT . O Allah , guide us to live our lives filled with purpose .

Help us to break free from the pressures of our rat race and help us find fulfillment in every moment . O Allah , grant us the strength to pursue our ambitions with love , passion and a deep sense of fulfillment . Surround us with peace and contentment and bless our efforts as we strive to create a world where your creation can flourish .

Ameen , ya Rabbul , ameen , please keep me in your du'as . I will talk to you guys next time .