Overcoming Anxiety

They're cover emotions , like kind of confused emotions . They have vague energy . You don't know you're in it when you're experiencing it . These types of emotions like anxiety , worry , confusion , thrive on this vagueness . They thrive on our inability to point them out clearly , thrive on this vagueness . They thrive on our inability to point them out clearly .

These stress emotions play a certain role . Anxiety in itself is not a bad sympathetic response . It is an alert system but for most of all , on default , it is running like a movie until it becomes a memorized emotion and we get used to living into this vagueness of anxiety and we get used to living into this vagueness of anxiety .

So the feeling of anxiety is not because something is wrong with you , but because that's how you have evolved and it is a gateway into your realization that something needs to be attended to . In the distant past it used to help us to be alert of all the dangers around us .

But experiencing anxiety now constantly doesn't serve us , but it also does not mean that it is not natural for us to be experiencing it . The subtle difference I'm about to describe makes a huge change in the outcome . Anxiety does not need to be eliminated . It cannot be eliminated . It is our resistance to that anxiety that creates a problem .

So anxiety in itself will not cause as much harm to us as our resistance and judgment of it . So I'm going to introduce a bit of an advanced concept here , and you've been following me for a while , so I think this will serve you very well .

But if not , then all you have to remember that circumstances are outside of us that create thoughts in our brain , that generate feeling , from which we take actions , that create the results in our life . C-t-f-a-r it's always in that order .

I also tell you , guys , that circumstances are factual and they're outside of us , so they have to do with our outside environment . But what I'm gonna tell you now is going to contradict that a little bit , but it still holds true .

Instead of putting an outside circumstance in the C line , I want you to put your emotion especially , especially anxiety , in the circumstance line . When you put anxiety as a circumstance , you get to apply your thoughts to it . If you're experiencing anxiety , what do you make it mean ? Ask yourself , what thoughts are you having about it ?

So the self-coaching formula would look something like this Circumstance anxiety , thought . I shouldn't feel anxiety , Feeling , compounding anxiety , action , taking actions out of anxiety , but mostly consist of a lot of mind drama , result creating a lot more anxiety .

So what we've effectively done here is , instead of putting a factual circumstance in the C line , we have placed an emotion . That is true for you . If you apply your observation skill to anything , it can be placed in the circumstance line .

But for that to happen , you have to first identify that emotion , such as anxiety , and you have to bring it out of the vagueness that you've been experiencing it within your body . You have to clearly name anxiety because when you actually experience it , then you can make it factual for yourself and put it in the circumstance .

And the reason I recommend you do that is because that way you can identify what is it that you're making it mean . Most of the time , women are in constant judgment for having these low vibration emotions like stress , anxiety or apprehension . When we experience these emotions , we immediately tell ourselves that we shouldn't feel this way ?

Why am I feeling this way ? This is not normal . All of these thoughts and senses prove your resistance to anxiety . Anxiety in itself is just an emotion . It is a vibration , a non-life-threatening energy . The perpetuation of this anxiety through our constant judgment and suppression of it is what is detrimental to our health .

This is equivalent to me telling you that I will be injecting you with about 20 cc's of anxiety . The effects of the injection will stay in your body for three minutes and then they will disappear . And when you're sitting there experiencing that anxiety that I've just injected into you , you will just be experiencing the sensations .

You will not be in resistance to it because you know it will be over in three minutes . This short period of time might be uncomfortable , it will not be a joy ride , but it's not because something has gone wrong , but because that's the main purpose of anxiety . It's designed to grab our attention and in grabbing that attention it makes your body uncomfortable .

That has been the design of the fight and flight response . But in the modern world now , when we are feeling anxiety , it does not mean that we are in imminent danger . At least most of the time , the lower brain response of survival through anxiety is now misplaced .

It's coming to us in the shape of worrying about our kids' grades , being anxious about the unknown of the future , anxiety about the dozen dishes that we have obligated ourselves to cook for the upcoming party . There is no survival stake here . There is no role of anxiety .

This misplaced anxiety in our daily situations that doesn't mean life or death is the prime contribution of shaitan . These constant whisperings that cause worry about everyday life matters keep us in constant brain action , what I call thought storms , like when you're trapped in a sandstorm , you cannot see anything around you .

When you're trapped in a thought storm of anxiety , you cannot find yourself out of it . This is shaitan's primary purpose , because this is the way to block the voice of your soul . This is how growth gets done .

Our highest form of consciousness , or god consciousness , or taqwa , takes the bench and we become victims when we start worrying about the anxiety we are having . We have made shaitan's job so much easier . Quick solution to when you recognize that this is what's happening .

You can place your anxiety in the circumstance line and figure out what is it that you're making it mean . The best thing here is to do what is told to us by the sunnah of the Prophet . Engage in mindful dhikr . You have brought consciousness to your experience of anxiety .

With this , you've brought into consciousness that you are in judgment of your worry and anxiety . You have brought the observation response to this primal effect . This will break the chain of anxiety . So do your heartfelt dhikr . The Prophet said A good dream is from Allah and a bad or evil dream is from Satan .

So if any one of you has a bad dream for which he gets afraid , he should spit on his left side and should seek refuge with Allah from its evil , and then it will not harm him . So most scholars say that whenever you identify the whispers of shaitan , you can use this method to ward him off .

So this includes spitting dryly to your left , not like a phlegm-filled mucus cough , especially in this world of COVID . In some countries people get fined for just spitting . So what this ritual has essentially done is that it has helped you recognize when you're in judgment of your anxiety . You keep it from compounding .

You recognize that this is a trick of shaitan . You say your dhikr and you spit dryly to your left , halting the progression of this compounding anxiety , inshallah . So once we've taken this extra layer of anxiety experience away . Now you can address how to deal with anxiety itself . How can I lean into the discomfort of anxiety ?

How can I experience it calmly and breathe into it ? So the first thing is to recognize it and name it , because anxiety thrives on vagueness . After that , we have a few choices . We can resist it , fight it or get mad about it . We can react to it or we can act out of anxiety . Or we can resist it , fight it or get mad about it .

We can react to it or we can act out of anxiety , or we can fuel it more Avoiding anxiety , pretending that it's not there , while the vague sense of danger directs your actions of watching TV , emotionally eating or other avoidance behaviors . So you'd still be acting these feelings out , but not be able to figure out why you're acting like this .

So this becomes an automatic loop and it goes something like this If you haven't identified your underlying anxiety , you will tell yourself oh , the reason I'm overeating is because I can't control myself . It's because of my hormones , it's because of post-pregnancy weight .

The reason I'm angry towards my children is because they get on my nerves they're loud and pregnancy weight . The reason I'm angry towards my children is because they get on my nerves . They're loud and rowdy . The reason I don't have a successful career is because my boss is racist or sexist , or the employment opportunities a rig against me as a minority .

If you don't identify anxiety , the actions you take from the vague sense of anxiety will seem like they are happening because of something outside of you .

So you will create this sub-life of mediocrity , blaming everything outside of you for the results , while it has been anxiety all along that has been driving your actions , especially with people who emotionally eat , while it has been anxiety all along that has been driving your actions , especially with people who emotionally eat .

They are eating to subdue this vague sense of doom . And the indulgence of food covers up this sense of doom very well . It takes care of the unease in the moment . But , as with anything else , immediate gratification does not solve the problem .

The vagueness , the pressure , the sense of doom from anxiety will come back stronger as soon as the effects of the indulgence wear off . And not only will it come back stronger , it will come with a side effect of guilt and remorse . And then you'll eat more to drown those out .

And it really is fascinating to watch where people would rather continue to stay in these destructive patterns , blaming their qadr , their relationships , their financial situation , even their spirituality , when all that needs to be done is to bring to clarity the emotion that you are experiencing that is driving these actions that you are experiencing .

That is driving these actions . I have created an extremely effective program for Muslim women struggling with this exact problem . It is my Stop Emotional Eating program , where we explore all of these concepts what is it that is driving you to take the actions of emotional eating and how to solve for them to break this cycle and start living a healthier life ?

Please go to my website at wwwislamiclifecoachschoolcom to learn more about this program . So the first thing is to recognize it and name it , because anxiety thrives on vagueness .

You also have the options of resisting it , reacting to it or avoiding it , but the last and the most effective method that you can apply is that you can actively accept it , which is not the same as giving up . It goes back to the acknowledgement of the experience that is real to you .

You have to accept what is your body going through before you can ever change it and , as I described in my 50th episode , you cannot change your nafs without accepting her . The thought error on most people's part is , they believe , is if I accept my body as is , I will never change . Nothing can be further from the truth .

Being in judgment of your own body's experience is a trick of shaitan and it will never cause change . So I use the term of actively accepting your emotions , because it doesn't happen to you passively . You have to use the CTFAR formula and thought outputs and self-reflection .

You have to activate your relationship with yourself and put yourself under the lens to accommodate any change . There are so many studies that prove the act of observing something changes it , and you can do this observation quietly and privately . When you go into that watcher place , you can see yourself , think , you can feel yourself .

So this alignment and observation is happening outside of your rational thought . What that means is that you will not be adding more thoughts and more language of judgment and resistance , pressure or reactivity to your experience . When you're observing the vagueness of anxiety in your body , that is all you're doing .

You're not applying additional thoughts of rationality on it . You will just be observing without rationalizing what you find . This is the manner , how you allow yourself to feel anxiety . When you allow something , that means you have authority over it , it immediately puts you in an empowered position as a parent . You allow your kids to do something .

It's because you have authority over them . When you allow the anxiety , you observe it without rationalizing it . You have authority over it . So that sense of anxiety will not go away forever , but it gives you your control back .

When you notice anxiety next , remind yourself nothing has gone wrong here and then you can remember that your thoughts cause the anxiety . All of our emotions come from our thoughts . Then you can try and identify what is it that you're thinking that is causing the emotion . If you can't identify that thought , then just sit down and write .

And when I'm dealing with emotions that I don't like , I sit down and write . And when I'm dealing with emotions that I don't like , I sit down and write my stories that my brain is presenting me , and it is surprising how many weird stories I find that I'm telling myself . I mean , it is absolutely insane the things my brain makes up .

Some of these thoughts are so illogical that you can just debunk them right there and then and this will help you understand that you're misplacing the cause of anxiety as being your circumstance , but it's always your thoughts that cause it . Alhamdulillah , I thank Allah SWT for this human design of emotions .

We are wired for success by Allah SWT and I pray that we can access this success through our fitrah , our soul , and live a life of tranquility on this earth . I pray to Allah SWT that we become the masters of our anxiety and other vague , disruptive emotions .

I pray to Allah SWT that Muslim women become so in tune with their higher self that they become examples for their children , their families and humanity at large . Please help me achieve that goal by helping every Muslim woman out there , and keep me in your duas . I will talk to you guys next time .