Negativity Bias

In all my previous podcasts , I've described different concepts life-altering concepts , if I might add and I've given education with different perspectives , combining Islamic teachings and science .

You are living in a world with a sea of information just floating around you While you are learning all these concepts especially this podcast that are particularly processed into bite-sized , digestible information , and you have all of this information coming from all different sources in the world .

I truly appreciate you being here and giving me your time and attention , but , ironically enough , it's not just about learning . Information does not lead to transformation . If that was the case in this age of information , we would all be enlightened individuals . Information alone is just making your intellect sharp .

When it comes to implementation , you need an entire new set of muscles , and those are the muscles of implementation . Eudaimonia is a Greek term where the philosopher called it the journey to fulfillment .

It was commonly translated as happiness and welfare , but more accurately it means human flourishing , prosperity and blessedness , and to achieve all of that , you need implementation , not just information , and so for that implementation itself , we have coaching .

I have a very successful program with one-on-one coaching and a package of workbooks and group coaching that I offer to professional Muslim women that are looking to find their highest level of success and productivity . And yes , if you are a professional homemaker , you qualify . That's one of the toughest professions .

So , whatever you learn here , implement it and if you get stuck , get coaching . The way I see it is that this transformation journey might take you six months , or if you're taking the learning super slowly , then it might take you a year .

That is much shorter than any professional degree out there , and learning how to manage your mind is much more important than any other degree , because without harnessing control of your mind , you can have as many certificates and degrees and as much money as you like , without mind management you could still be withering away inside .

You will have true potential , you have true genius , you can do hard things , you can do the impossible . When you harness that powerhouse that is your mind and body . That combination is the fiercest weapon a human can have Gain control over it . So , the way I see it , you can spend the next six months contemplating or you can spend it in transformation .

Six months will pass regardless . What would you have gained ? When I was looking to get out of this rut , I was fed up with my inner state of turmoil and I was always feeling resentment , regret . In that state , I resorted to devouring all and any piece of information that I could get my hands on . I was reading up to four books a week .

I was taking courses , live and virtual . I was watching documentaries , lectures , any kind of input I could get my hands on . I was consuming . All of that was tons of information , but no implementation . Not surprisingly , it didn't lead to any change in my condition . Then , during that quest , I found life coaching and it was the biggest aha moment for me .

It was night and day and with that transformation , I promised myself that I will get this message out to as many people as I possibly can . So here I am today , a certified light coach , alhamdulillah , and I'm bringing this transformation to you . You literally just have to be willing to take it .

That willingness to change is the key component here and a prerequisite . You do not have to agree to my coaching philosophy , you just have to agree to listen to whatever is available to you . You just have to agree to listen to whatever is available to you . You have to look at the reality outside of what your brain is creating .

Breaking news here what your brain tells you is not the ultimate reality . So , after my whole transformation phase , if you are under the impression that I might have slowed down my rate of book consumption , you were right . Now I only read three books a week instead of the usual four . I can't give that up . I love books .

My external actions like book reading , my career , my family time might have remained the same , but my internal state is totally different . I'm in a pace of tranquility and peace . I'm comfortable with my decisions and I'm confident in my own skin .

I know how to pay attention to cues that my body is sending me and I know how to alter my internal state independent of what's happening outside of me . I know how to take command of that internal dialogue . With this work , I'm not in a fight-and-flight mode constantly . I am not eternally waiting for the next shoe to drop .

I am not in a continual state of fear , not living under a gray cloud . I know instantly when I'm falling into the traps of that negative thought loop and I know how to break free , and when I can't break free , I get coaching .

As an independent , strong intellectual woman , there is a lot you can do , but there is also a lot that you cannot do by yourself , and that includes not being able to see your own negativity bias , at least initially . A negativity bias is when a negative thought causes a disproportionately larger response in the body compared to a positive thought .

Any kind of bias itself is difficult to see unless we get training on it , which includes our willingness to let someone else point it out to us . People think that negativity bias only applies to external stimuli . We gave a presentation . 20 people praised it , but one person criticized it .

We will dwell on the criticism a lot longer and a lot harder compared to the praise . We will actually usually just forget the praise . Your own negative internal self-talk has the same effect on you . That constant state of self-criticism , put-downs , self-reproach and remorsefulness are all your own negativity bias .

Each of these thoughts weigh heavily on your emotional state and they perpetuate further negative thoughts . Consider this seemingly benign , quick , fleeting thoughts like I have been lazy , I'm an anxious person , I'm not confident , I'm smart , I'm impatient , I can't keep up with my prayers . All of these thoughts on repeat , especially through negativity .

Bias over years become our identity . When the experience first occurs , you might feel sad or angry , reflexively . It might be a transient feeling . You can try to shrug that feeling off , which is actually the suppression of an emotion , which is not a good choice , I might add .

From that state of suppressed feeling of sadness , your subconscious will start to gather more evidence for you to be sad about everything else in your life , and your brain will do it so efficiently that you'll think that everything that your subconscious presents to you is a fact . And again , you guessed it .

It happens because of an unmanaged mind , from this extra evidence that your mind has now gathered all the reasons for you to be more sad , that your mind has now gathered all the reasons for you to be more sad .

This is done through the effects of priming and your sad mood will start to last longer , it will start to come more frequently until it becomes a temperament and you'll go from saying I'm feeling sad today to I've been sad lately . You'll justify your actions , trying to shake it off , but it will linger .

Then those months will turn into years and you tell yourself that you've become depressed . You identify as a sad person in general . You tell yourself I'm an easily triggered person . You tell yourself that I'm sad , despite of my efforts , because of all of the things that are happening in my life and it becomes your personality .

You don't intellectually know how you got here and how to consciously get out of it . Disclaimer here this is different than the diagnosis of major depression . I'm not telling you that you do or do not have depression . I'm telling you that there's a trend most of us follow when we form these personality traits of being anxious , stressed or sad .

That was the trend I was following . With just a little bit of effort , we can bring these patterns into awareness and with a little bit of practice we can actually break these patterns . So really , you guys , any kind of self-reflective work that helps you gain this awareness , start doing it today . If you need a coach , get a coach , but start somewhere .

Coaching is life-changing . I have had a very successful career , alhamdulillah . Beautiful family , alhamdulillah , hobbies , support .

I have no reason to be doing what I do as a life coach , except that I believe in it so much that if I think I can change one life , convince one person to start this introspection journey , I would choose to think that I have fulfilled my life's purpose . That's how important it is to me . Now , did you guys notice what I did there ?

I said I will choose to think that it's my life's purpose , because all thoughts are choices . I chose this thought because it serves me . There was a little subliminal messaging right there for you guys .

I wanted this podcast to emphasize how important I think this work is , and I wanted to dedicate this one whole podcast to this , because I don't want to burden your prefrontal cortex with a different piece of knowledge or information . So today it's going to be about implementation , not just information . Start by writing down what you're thinking , reflect on it .

If you need help , go to our website islamiclifecoachschoolcom , and there you'll find a free downloadable guide to start this process and learn how to actually observe your thoughts . The workbook describes the CTFR model in detail and it takes you through the process step by step . Brene Brown calls this journey of introspection rumbling .

Mental health professionals , religious scholars and other people who have found this journey to be fulfilling and enlightening are always inviting others to start this process . I don't think there's anybody in the world who has figured out a way to make it easy , but that's because that's one of the promises that Allah SWT makes to us .

This journey will not be easy , but it will be rewarded , inshallah . Keep asking questions until you get an answer that satisfies you . Keep inquiring until you find a method that helps you make sense of your life and how you can make it a flourishing life , a eudaimonia state , which , by the way , is not everlasting .

When you lose that eudaimonia , then you get to start that journey again and you get to keep going until you are called to the next life and , inshallah , when we are in paradise . Allah promises us that there will be no feelings of anxiety and grief .

But until then , we have thought work , rumbling , introspection to do to deal with all of these feelings of anxiety and grief , and we rely on Allah SWT to guide us in this journey and we make dua that he give us the fruit of our labor .

Since you didn't learn any brand new topic this time around , you get to take this information and apply it . Promise me you'll start . If you already do this work , you'll up-level your game . I challenge you to see where you are in six months . Write down what your state is now and write down where you are in six months . Put it in your calendar .

Tell your friends and family to help hold you accountable . These coming six months will pass regardless . Implementation is a way to make sure that they count . Count towards your mental health . I challenge you and you should challenge yourself . May Allah SWT give you fruit of all of your labor , especially of that of you seeking mental health .

I will talk to you guys next time .