Indulgent Emotions

If you listened to my last podcast , it serves as an introduction to this one , because last time we talked about negativity bias . Today we will talk about indulgent emotions and the fact that they're directly related . Negativity bias says things of a more negative nature , such as unpleasant thoughts .

Emotions or social interactions have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than neutral or positive ones , even when of equal intensity , meaning , among 20 positive feedbacks , if you get one negative feedback , your brain will dwell on it more . What does that have to do with indulgent emotions , which we're going to talk about today ?

Indulgent emotions are feelings that you are continuing to feel that don't actually serve you . Indulgent emotions are a direct result of negativity bias . We want the result of a flourishing life , and an indulgent emotion gives you the exact opposite of that .

Think of CTFAR circumstances that lead to thoughts , that lead to feelings , that lead to actions and then that lead to results . An indulgent emotion is a feeling that leads to no action and therefore no result . Example of some very common indulgent emotions are sadness , worry , self-pity , confusion , anxiety . You get the picture .

Those emotions will never get you any result other than more and more mind drama . Indulging in anxiety over hours will result in an anxious mood . Indulging in anxiety for months would result in a temperament , and indulging in anxiety for months would result in a temperament .

And indulging in anxiety for years will result in a new identity you identifying as an anxious person . This paradigm is directly from a book called Breaking the Habit of being Yourself by Joe Dispenza . Indulgent emotions are a direct result of negativity bias . Indulgent emotions are a direct result of negativity bias . 20 people said great job on the presentation .

One person said the topic was inappropriate for the occasion . Voices in your head will multiply it because of your negativity bias and then the brain presents it to you like a fact . You indulge in self-doubt . You overhear the boss saying the presentation was informal . You don't know what context he's saying it in .

You don't know if he means it as a compliment or a criticism , but you assign it a negative meaning because of your negativity bias . This way , you found more evidence for your original thought . This is more evidence for you to lock in your belief where you have believed the negative criticism . This was evidence number one .

The next morning you are thinking about the same presentation and how that comment affected you , and you remember that your sister had told you that you have poor choice in clothes . Now you start to doubt your sense of fashion .

Evidence number two A few days pass and one evening after a full day of work , your husband asks you would you like to eat out or order in ? And , being exhausted , it takes you a few seconds to make that decision and in that instance of indecision you tell yourself see , you can't decide anything . Self-doubt .

Evidence number three , this self-doubt starting to become an indulgent emotion , this is becoming ever-present . Few months later , you have to open a new credit card . You have so much evidence by this time that you are the kind of person who can't decide . You can't make any decisions . So you ask a friend for an opinion .

They tell you open this card because of this benefit and stay away from that card . You tell yourself see , they are so much smarter than I am , I could have never made that decision . Evidence number four or a thousandth , or a millionth , and on and on and on it goes , and now you are locked in an identity of an indecisive person .

All of this starting from a negativity bias , which is a thought that rolls downhill , gathering more and more mass , from evidences in your life that your brain picks up creating more and more indulgent emotions . That snowball effect over time finally crashes into a personality . This is not how it works . Don't do that to yourself .

It hurts me just talking about it . And this actually happens in real life to every person , more than you can imagine . Something negative started that process and you were unable to call it out for what it is . Just a thought . Therefore , that language and programming kept running in your subconscious , creating an indulgent emotion .

Because of this inability to identify the root cause of this emotion , you continue to believe that it must be my personality . That is absolutely untrue . Other indulgent emotions are feeling comfortable . People say that is self-care . No , my friend .

If comfort is keeping you from doing things in your life and achieving things that you want to achieve , that is not self-care . That comfort becomes an indulgent emotion . Indulging in comfort while calling it self-care will lead to identifying as being lazy . When you use food to make you comfortable , that results in overeating and the result of being overweight .

When you want to create a life of your dreams , when you want to break out of your shell , that requires you being uncomfortable . My coach always says that discomfort is the currency to success . Indulging in comfort with Netflix , video games , cleaning the house for the 18th time is not going to get you to your dream life . Yes , you heard me correctly .

Cleaning the house can come from an indulgent emotion of comfort . Being a workaholic can be from an indulgent emotion of being comfortable with the status quo . If being a workaholic is keeping you from evolving , then that is from an indulgent emotion . Confusion is another one of those indulgent emotions and it is very common .

Notice yourself during the day how many times do you actually say the words I don't know , I don't know this , I don't know that . This is surprisingly common . Another one is self-pity and again a product of negativity bias . Why does this always happen to me ? Can anything else go wrong ?

These sentences are on repeat and they become hardwired thoughts that we are just not dealt good cards in life . I can't be successful . I'm not that lucky . I'm always going to be poor . You want more examples , guys . I got plenty . Where that came from ? I'm not that lucky . I'm always going to be poor . You want more examples , guys ?

I got plenty where that came from . I'm going to keep talking about this until , hopefully , something will click . Busyness is another one of those indulgent emotions . I feel busy . I'm always busy . We are constantly thinking about things that need to be done , while not really checking in how much time we are spending just thinking and worrying about being busy .

Worry is another huge indulgent emotion . Worry pretends to be so important . We feel like if we don't worry , we will be facing something really dangerous . When you unpack worry , there is really nothing underneath to worry about . There is nothing dangerous . There really nothing underneath to worry about . There's nothing dangerous there .

Notice , worry is never about the past . Worry is always about the future . Because of the fear of the unknown , worry feels productive . Worrying feels like we're actually doing something , while it gets absolutely no results . And we continue to repeat that sentence in our mind I worry a lot , I'm just a worrier .

And we wear that sentence like it's some sort of a badge of honor , like you've stated a fact , like you were just genetically designed to worry . You were just born this way . Again , none of that is true . So now , after all of these negativity , biases lead to indulgent emotions over time , resulting in personality traits that we don't like .

We resort to ascribing it to genetic predisposition . Our brains get hardwired for negative thoughts , our bodies memorize the emotional state associated with them and we start blaming our genes . No , a big fat ? No , that's not how it works . More and more scientific data is suggesting that our genes do not have as much control as we thought they did .

Genes are transcribed into functions of our body depending on how they're signaled . That signal turns the gene on and off , and it comes from our internal environment .

Books like the Body Keeps Score by Dr Bessel van der Kolk , and when the Body Says no by Dr Gabor Maté , and the Biology of Belief by Dr Bruce Lipton these works are really ahead of their time and incredible insight as to how our internal environment changes our gene expression .

These books are super helpful in understanding this concept , but one limitation I found in all of their work is that they tell us what to do , but not really how . They say our genetic expression is a function of our internal environment and they tell us to work on changing that environment , but they don't tell us how .

Most of the work I've read in this field alludes to the work that needs to be done . They also tell us to seek help , counseling , practice , more conscious thoughts . They tell us that for you to feel differently , you have to think differently , but it does not tell us how , and that answer , my friend , lies with CTFAR . Let me explain another way .

The internal environment consists of our emotional state , and it could be chronic stress , anxiety and learned helplessness . Or it could be joy , bliss , satisfaction and contentment . That is all based on the thought work we apply to any given circumstance . That is CTFAR Model , each and every thought , and see what internal environment you're creating .

The internal environment is body's chemical state . Gene expression largely depends on this chemical state that the body lives in . Thoughts are under our control , except nobody teaches you how to control them . That is such an utter tragedy . So if you listen carefully , I gave you the secret to life . Gene expression is largely dependent on our body's chemical state .

After the Human Genome Project finished , we found out that our DNA is composed of 20,000 genes , which is the same as that of a fruit fly , meaning our genetic imprint is the same as the fruit fly . It is how we express that gene is what matters .

So that gene expression depends on the body's chemical state , that chemical state which a human feels as an emotion , a combination of cortisol , adrenaline , oxytocin , endorphins , dopamine , just to name a few . This internal state is the emotion which are created by our thoughts , which are under our control . So that means that gene expression is under our control .

A equals B equals C equals D . Therefore , a must equal D . Simple , we keep it simple here , remember , just so , an average human being like you and I can take control of our lives . If this design doesn't just simply blow your mind that you didn't understand me correctly , go back and listen . Now .

Let me tell you how many clues and instructions our Creator sent us describing this exact method . Intentions , like we said before , are heavily emphasized in Islam . They are thoughts that Allah told us that we have under our control . We have a nafs that will pull us down , keep us in the dirt , and shaitan that speaks to that nafs , misguiding us .

We have a ruh that wants us to evolve , it seeks out our creator and it strives for the higher purpose and truth . These are the two sources of thoughts . In akhira , shaitan will wash his hands off of all the responsibility . He will say it was all you , dear human . You had the freedom of choice . You didn't choose well .

Well , that's because we were never taught we could choose . We were never taught how to . At Islamic Life Coach School , we are here to change exactly that . Pay attention to your emotional state . I am joyous , I am tranquil , I'm suffering , I'm in despair . Your emotions are the knock on the door to identify your internal chemical state .

Your brain was placed on top of all of that to control that state . Whatever stage of that emotional signaling , that indulgent emotion you are in , it is never too late to recognize it . Indulgent emotions are just memorized emotions based on negative , repeated thoughts . Memorized emotions is actually a term that Dr Joe Dispenza uses .

Don't let these memorized emotions direct your internal state . That same state is responsible for your gene signaling . That is a massive amount of control that you have over yourself as a human .

Allah SWT told us Love your brother in Islam for the sake of Allah . Think about that for a moment . You guys . If you think about somebody in a way that helps you feel love towards them , whose internal state are you actually changing ? Yours or theirs ? The other person does not feel your internal state . Your neurochemicals are forming your emotions .

Your love does not jump out of your body and benefit the next person .

So when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala directs us to love our brothers and sisters in Islam for the sake of Allah , despite of what actions they might have taken towards us , despite of any harm they might have caused us , when Allah asks us to love another human being for His sake , he is asking us to stay in control of our internal state , because if you continue

to stay angry at someone , if you continue to not forgive someone , you are only hurting your own self , not them . I thank Allah every day for giving us this ingenuity and the design , and I thank Allah for the science and the knowledge that he gave us so we can actually make these discoveries . Now .

We just have to use these discoveries as a sign to get closer to our creator . I pray that , due to this knowledge , all of us get closer to our creator . Inshallah , I will talk to you guys next time .