How To Regulate Your Nervous System

It will literally fix everything , inshallah and in this podcast , I want to give you how to exactly do that , how to process the change . There are two main ways that I want to simplify for you to regulate your nervous system .

One is body-based and the other one is mind-based and I know it might sound like a contradiction to what I teach all the time , and that is mind and body are not separate . They're the same system , they speak the same language . What happens in one echoes in the other , and yet here's what I absolutely love .

I love living in paradox , because paradoxes make space for truth that doesn't always fit inside a clean category . So , yes , mind and the body are the same when the truth serves your healing , and also they're different when it helps you to see where to begin , how to make a difference .

You can regulate your body through your mind , through reframing , questioning , inquiry and dismantling old thoughts that keep you stuck and you can regulate your mind through your body , through breath , grounding , movement that changes the signals being sent to your mind . This is not a contradiction . It's living in the gray .

It's using whatever door gets you closer to yourself , to a regulated nervous system . And I give you full permission to be contradictory , to flow between both doors , to let integration look messy and circular rather than linear .

And this is exactly where real nervous system safety lives , not in the black and white roles , but in the fluidity of being a full human mind , body , soul all at once . So if the secret to living a successful life is a regulated nervous system , then I want to break it down to two pathways , just to make it simple for you .

One says process it it's body-based . The other one says change it . That's narrative or language-based . Now , most of your healing will come from a combination of one or the other .

Most of your mental wellness journey will include components of both , but I do want to show you how they are separated in case you don't know if you're doing the right thing or not , which . If you choose one , it hasn't made a difference . You'll know why it hasn't If , despite doing the work , you find yourself with a dysregulated nervous system .

That's because you find yourself stuck somewhere between the two approaches . Both of these matter , and one of them doesn't matter more than the other , but it will matter , depending on if it serves you and your emotional wellness . So how do you choose which one to proceed with ? How do you know which door to walk through ?

Which one of these approaches will give you emotional leverage the mind-based or the body-based ? So I'm going to help break it down . When you're feeling overwhelmed , anxious , heavy-hearted , you're likely reaching for processing tools , body-based tools , the deep breaths , the scanning

of the body . You're slowing down and you're letting the emotional rise . You can try to name it . You ask yourself where it lives in your body . You give it space and that act alone , the act of emotional intelligence , the act of noticing and naming , starts to release the emotions , trapped energy .

When you say this is sadness or this is shame , instead of collapsing into it or reacting from it , you create a separation . That's a level of emotional regulation . This is body-based processing . It's a science in its own merit . You feel it , name it , witness it and eventually it will digest .

That's how your body stops holding on to a background emotion that it's been holding on to for a while . But there are also times when you don't need to process the emotion .

Sometimes you just need to change it , because all emotions come from thoughts and if a thought is rooted in a lie , then no amount of breathing , body work or naming emotions will fix the core issue .

If the brain is repeating thoughts like I'm failing , they hate me this always happens to me then what you're actually doing is living inside a false reality that keeps recreating the emotion , and you won't be able to keep up with your body-based approach of naming it , digesting it , no matter how much you do it , because the brain will continue to recreate the same

emotion , new every time , emotion coming from your thoughts . A thought created fiction that feels like a reality to your body , and the only way to exit that fiction is to change the script , and in these cases you choose different tools . They're language-based tools , left brain journaling , monitoring your thoughts , awareness , mindful exercises .

In these cases , you trace the thought back , you question it . You ask yourself is this even true ? Sometimes that questioning alone is enough to release the thought and the related emotion . Other times , the belief is so embedded it feels like a brick wall , and that's okay .

In that case , you take it apart , one sentence at a time , one moment , one brick at a time . That's what changes emotions that are chronically living in you . Time , that's what changes emotions that are chronically living in you . Body-based processing and thought elevation and narrative changing aren't opposites . They're different sides of the same coin .

You're not doing it wrong if one isn't working . It just means you may need to integrate both . Sometimes processing the emotion through the body clears the fog so that the mind can see what's really true , and then you can lean into narrative-based processing .

Other times , changing the thought is what gives the body permission to let go , and this work is dynamic , not linear .

If you've been doing all of the emotional work but feel stuck , here's the question I want you to ask Am I trying to process something that actually needs to be changed , or am I trying to change something that first needs to be felt and experienced and given space to , and don't overcomplicate it ? From there , simplicity is powerful .

Simplicity is how we heal , which is why I'm giving you these two broad categories . We heal , which is why I'm giving you these two broad categories . The brain craves clarity , and clarity is where pain finally starts to loosen its grip . That's the freedom of simplicity . That's how you will regulate your nervous system most effectively .

So I'm going to give you examples of five very simple somatic practices body-based exercises that you can utilize to create a regulated nervous system . This is to apply when you can't think your way out of a dysregulated moment . And again , which method applies is entirely up to you . One is not better than the other . I'm going to only mention a handful .

There are multiple , multiple other methods out there , but these are just examples . One is orienting , slowly , moving your head and eyes , and take in the environment what is in front of you , what is in your peripheral vision , what is the clarity of focus with your vision . Give you how safe your body feels when you're focusing on the current moment .

Moving your eyes left , right up down , just noticing the things in your environment . This is basically helping your nervous system register that I am safe in this moment . Next is vocal vibration of a sort . You can pick a verse or a zikr , just recite it for five minutes . It stimulates your vagus nerve . It's literally the peacekeeper of your body .

Next example is butterfly taps . You can cross your arms over your chest and tap left and right , left and right . This is kind of like rocking your nervous system to sleep . This is an EMDR-inspired grounding technique where you're trying to light up both atmospheres of your brain , rather than just the fear-based brain that's active .

The next one is deep sighing , big inhale and a long exhale , and do it as many times as it takes for you to feel a reset in your body . This is you tricking your brain into believing that whatever danger there was has passed .

Or a cold water reset Splash your face or dip your hands in cold water , make wudu with cold water , and it signals your brain that this is a quick reset . There's no fight and flight anymore and , again , there's no shortage of body-based nervous system regulation exercises . This is the bottom-up approach . When your body leads , your mind follows .

These are the types of techniques that I want you to reach for when you can't think your way out of your body's dysregulation , because , technically , when you are dysregulated , your mind is where the problem is being created in the first place , especially if it's spiraling , it's catastrophizing , it's making up worst-case scenarios and calling it logic .

That's when your body's intelligence needs to step in as a wiser guide . You regulate through your senses your breath , movement , sound , temperature changes , orienting yourself into the environment . You interrupt the panic . With the presence of your body , you send your brain a new message I am safe now . And that shift doesn't happen through more overthinking .

It happens through sensation . Now , if your brain tells you that you need more information about this , just gather a limited amount of research about what body-based exercises are best for you and start putting them into practice . Don't go overboard by collecting information .

This is all about getting underneath the noise and feeling your way back to calm , not staying in information and intellectualization of the exercise . These grounding techniques , where the mind continues to spin but the body becomes the grounding truth . They don't get enough exposure as they deserve . These are the most underrated ways of regulating your nervous system .

Okay , now the other side of the coin , which is now we start to explore the mind as the key to helping us regulate our nervous systems , because sometimes that's the most powerful way and that is to catch the thought that's driving the chaos .

This is the top-down approach and it works because your thoughts are not just chatter . They are biological , subliminal instructions that your body is following , even if you're not aware of it . The subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality , so when your thoughts say I'm unsafe . This always happens to me .

Your body will react as if it's true . And this is where my C-NEAR method comes in very , very handy . It's a replicable process to monitor and shift your nervous system . It stands for C for Circumstance , n for Nervous System Thoughts , e for Emotions , a for Actions and R for Results . First you name a circumstance what actually happened factually ?

Then you get curious about what is it that your nervous system told you about the circumstance , what is that language ? What is a thought ? Then you get curious about what am I feeling in my body right now as an emotion . Have I fallen into a fight , flight , freeze or fawn state ? Naming that emotion .

Then you track into what actions have these emotions led you to perform , because all of our actions are fueled by our emotions , and what you will find is that you would have created a result with accumulation of those actions .

And what you will also notice at a more meta level is that every result in your life is going to loop back to the thought that was driving the action . When you use the C-Near algorithm method , you start reshaping your nervous system in real time . This is you creating neuroplasticity .

You learn to catch the dysregulation at the source and intervene with awareness and with a little bit of understanding and repeat practice , it becomes extremely practical and powerful . So I'm going to give you a simple but powerful framework , again line by line , just so you can remember a little bit better .

And this is a gentle way to understand what's happening in your nervous system and how to shift it , based on your mind . C for circumstance .

So maybe any given moment , just bring to mind something that recently activated you or a moment that's currently transpiring around you where you feel stressed , anxious , rejected , frustrated , anything that pulled you out of your calm . Hold that moment gently in your mind . Now just ask yourself what exactly happened . What are the bare minimum facts of the moment .

Try to do that without judgment or interpretation . This is the first step of the method where I teach how to separate the story in your mind from the facts as they're actually transpiring around you . When you do find this separation , just pause and let it settle . Then comes the nervous system thought . Now tune into your mind . What thought came up first ?

What sentence ran through your head like a headline , or was it running more like in a subconscious mind ? A sentence that wasn't loud , the sentence that was barely detectable ? It might be something like they don't respect me . I always mess things up . I have to fix this .

Say it out loud or write it down , or do whatever you need to to make it visible for you , to bring this into awareness for yourself . This is a thought that your nervous system believed in that moment . Now , based on these thoughts that you become aware of , you will notice that it creates one emotion . Ask yourself what emotion did that thought create ?

Name that feeling Is it sadness , guilt , shame , hopelessness , rage ? See if you can find it in your body . Where is it living right now ? Just observing no need to change it , just witnessing it . This mind and body package is your nervous system state Collectively .

You're going to find out if your body is in a dysregulated state or not and again , there's no right or wrong answer . We're just doing this for awareness reasons . Next comes the A for action . Ask yourself , based on the emotion I'm feeling , what do I do next ?

In case of sadness , anxiety or shame , you might notice that the action consists of you shutting down . You might notice it might involve people pleasing or you over explaining yourself . In case of anger or rage , you being reactive or lashing out . In case of hopelessness , you might notice yourself withdrawing .

These are all visible actions that you will perform as a result of the emotion . Just notice your response . Notice how it came from the thought that led to a feeling that led to an action . Then comes the R the result . Now reflect on what was the result of the action you ended up taking . How did that moment unfold ? What did it cost you , if anything ?

What did it teach you , if anything ? If the thought was , I don't matter and you feel hopeless , the action will be that you'll stay quiet , you'll remove yourself from the scene , you will not participate and the result will be that you will remain unseen and continue to not matter . The result will prove the thought correct . That is how your brain functions .

This is a loop . Your brain only creates proof for what is already thinking . And what we're doing right now is , through the safety of our nervous system , through regulating it , we're learning how to step outside of this cycle . The final step of doing all of this work is to shift with intention .

Once you realize this is what's happening , based on a sentence in your mind , just ask yourself is there another thought that I can practice ? What makes this thought truer than the other one ? What can I tell myself from a regulated place about the same exact circumstance ? Maybe it just starts with I'm safe , I'm allowed to speak up , I'm allowed to take space .

Starts with I'm safe , I'm allowed to speak up , I'm allowed to take space . Maybe it is . I'll pause before I act . Choose one thought , just one . Say it slowly , experience it in your body and let that be your anchor . This is the top-down approach .

Doing all of this might seem lengthy in the beginning because there is a learning curve involved , but this practice alone will immensely regulate you . This is where you've made space between the trigger and the truth . You've brought safety back into your system .

Keep practicing this , even when it feels small , even if you're not doing it perfectly , because every time you notice a loop and pause , you're changing the entire trajectory for your nervous system . So , whatever practice

you adopt to regulate yourself if it's breath work , movement , grounding or thought work if you notice even a slightest shift , just stick to it . Stay consistent , because no matter how small the change feels right now , it's not small to your subconscious mind , it's life-altering .

Because when you continue to put that same action into practice , that's when you'll start compiling the results . Here's what usually happens your brain will try to convince you it's not working fast enough , because you've expected instant peace , stillness , a complete transformation immediately , and when that doesn't happen in three days , you'll want to abandon it .

Don't do that . Neuroplasticity itself takes time . Some studies say as much as 21 days , but maybe your nervous system hasn't read that particular study . Maybe it takes longer or maybe shorter . The point is give it the time that it needs . Give yourself the time that you need . Don't measure progress by perfection . Measure it by micro shifts .

Are you pausing more before reacting now ? Are you sleeping a little bit better ? Are you recovering from stress quicker ? If there is a small yes to any of those questions , then it's working . Keep going . You're not going to find the perfect practice . What works today might not work tomorrow .

It's only about finding what works for you and doing it enough times that your nervous system starts to believe that I'm safe , I don't have to live in survival anymore , and your nervous system starts to be regulated With safe I don't have to live in survival anymore and your nervous system starts to be regulated With that

. I pray to Allah SWT . Ya Allah , help me learn what to feel and what to change . Guide me when I don't know whether to slow down and feel or stand up and shift . Let me trust my body when it signals for stillness . Let me trust my thoughts when they speak truth with clarity . Ya Allah , let my breath be dhikr , let my pause be prayer .

Let my awareness be a doorway and a path back to you . Ya Rabb , show me how to live in grey without needing perfection , and remind me that regulating myself to this level is an act of worship , because peace inside of me makes room for love , leadership and presence .

Ya Allah , help me find the right practice for myself to stay regulated so that I can come close to you . Ameen , ya Rabbul , ameen , please keep me in your da'as . I will talk to you guys next time .